Original subtitles

Helga: ARNOLD!

( barking )

HEY, ARNOLD!

( glass shatters )

( girl shrieks )

Helga: HEY, ARNOLD!

ARNOLD!

ARNOLD!

ARNOLD!

[Captioning sponsored by THE U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION

and NICKELODEON]

AR-NOLD!

MOVE IT, FOOTBALL HEAD!

Kids: HEY, ARNOLD!

ALL RIGHT, CLASS.

I'LL COLLECT YOUR FLOAT DESIGNS

FOR THE CITY DAY PARADE.

HAROLD, WHAT'S YOUR DESIGN?

IT'S A, A GIANT BROWNIE.

WELL, THAT'S VERY... CLEVER.

ARNOLD?

ARNOLD, WHAT IS IT?

I SEE A CARNIVAL MOTIF REPRESENTING

THE DIVERSITY OF OUR CITY.

EACH RIDE IS A DIFFERENT NEIGHBORHOOD.

DOWNTOWN'S A ROLLER COASTER, EXCITING AND UNPREDICTABLE.

THE SOUTH SIDE IS A SOUVLAKI STAND

BECAUSE OF ALL THE PLACES TO EAT.

THE RIVERFRONT IS A BIG WATER SLIDE

SINCE THERE'S LOTS OF WATER.

CITY HALL'S A TILT-A-WHIRL, SINCE IT'S SORT OF CROOKED.

( oohing and ahhing )

IT WOULD BE REALLY COLORFUL, JUST LIKE THE CITY.

YOUR DESIGN WOULD MAKE A WONDERFUL FLOAT.

WOW, COULD WE DO IT, MISS SLOVAK?

OH, IF ONLY IT WERE SO, ARNOLD.

BUT THAT WOULD CONSUME THREE TIMES THE ANNUAL SCHOOL BUDGET.

AT LEAST IT GOES ON THE BULLETIN BOARD.

( disappointed groans )

WOULDN'T IT BE GREAT IF IT WAS A REAL FLOAT?

WE COULD ALL RIDE ON IT, TOO.

YES, WE'D RIDE THROUGH THE STREETS LIKE ROYALTY.

A BEAUTIFUL FLOAT, ARNOLD.

YOU'RE SUCH AN ARTISTIC SPIRIT.

I'M NOTHING WITHOUT YOU

MY QUEEN.

I THINK I KNOW WHERE WE CAN GET THE MONEY.

HELLO, DAD, HOW ARE YOU THIS EVENING?

COMFY? ENJOYING YOUR PAPER?

WHAT DO YOU WANT? I GAVE YOU YOUR ALLOWANCE.

I'VE BEEN THINKING.

HOW WOULD YOU LIKE EVERYONE IN THE WHOLE TOWN

TO SEE THE WORDS "BIG BOB'S BEEPERS"

ON A FLOAT IN THE CITY DAY PARADE?

KEEP TALKING.

THIS THING WILL PAY FOR ITSELF.

WE JUST NEED A LITTLE START-UP CAPITAL.

LIKE HOW MUCH START-UP CAPITAL?

OH, HOW'S 300 SOUND?

$300?!

IT'S A BARGAIN.

LABOR'S FREE.

MY CLASS WILL BUILD IT.

HMM... KIDS DO THE WORK

LABOR COSTS ARE GOOD, WE CAN GET

USED FLOWERS FROM THE MORTUARY.

YEAH... IT SHOULDN'T BE TOO BAD.

OKAY, HELGA, YOU GOT YOURSELF A DEAL.

I'LL GIVE YOU THE 300 BUCKS

AND YOU GET ME THE GREATEST FLOAT

THE BEEPER WORLD HAS EVER SEEN.

DEAL.

HEY, ARNOLD, I DID IT.

YOU PUT THE SUPER GLUE IN EUGENE'S LUNCH BOX?

NO, YOU MORONS. DOY.

I DID SOME FAST TALKING

AND GOT THE MONEY FOR THE FLOAT.

MY DAD'S GOING TO PAY FOR IT.

WOW, THAT'S GREAT!

DID YOU HEAR THAT?

REALLY? YOU MEAN IT, HELGA?

THAT'S FANTASTIC!

HEY, DON'T GET SO COZY, BUSTER!

THERE'S A COUPLE OF DETAILS WE HAVE TO WORK OUT.

DETAILS?

I GET TO RIDE ON THE FLOAT

WHERE EVERYONE CAN SEE ME, ON THE VERY TOP.

DEAL.

( yelling )

HEY, WHAT'S WRONG?

WHY DID YOU STOP WORKING?

WE'RE OUT OF FLOWERS, ARNOLD.

YEAH, AND CHICKEN WIRE.

WE'RE OUT OF PAINT, TOO.

NOW WHAT?

UH... DAD?

WHAT? MORE MONEY, RIGHT?

HEY, WHEN DO I GET

A LOOK AT THIS THING?

ARNOLD DOESN'T WANT TO SHOW IT YET.

IT'S NOT READY.

YOU'VE HAD THREE DAYS!

DAD!

OKAY, BUT THIS IS THE LAST DIME

YOU'RE GETTING OUT OF ME.

( all exclaiming )

HEY, MAN, THIS IS COOL.

IT'S SO WICKED AWESOME.

I NEVER THOUGHT THIS WOULD HAPPEN. THANKS.

OH, WELL, I, I...

Big Bob: I HATE IT!

Both: YOU HATE IT?

LOOK AT THIS THING.

I RUN A BEEPER COMPANY

NOT A TRAVELING CIRCUS.

WELL, YOUR COMPANY'S NAME IS ON IT.

RIGHT OVER THE ARCH.

YEAH, WELL, I BROUGHT MY ASSOCIATE NICK VERMICELLI HERE.

HE KNOWS FLOATS.

HE'LL FIX THIS MESS.

YOU'RE RIGHT, BOB, IT'S A MESS. IT'S A TOTAL MESS.

IT IS NOT. WE SPENT DAYS WORKING ON THIS. IT'S A GREAT FLOAT.

ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME?

I'VE DONE FLOATS. IT'S A MESS. WHEN'S THIS PARADE?

TOMORROW.

ALL RIGHT, WE MAKE

A GIANT PAPIER-MACHE BEEPER

THAT GOES OVER THE TOP OF THIS WHOLE THING.

WE GET A REMOTE CONTROL

SO BOB CAN STEER IT FROM THE PLATFORM.

THEN WE DRESS UP THESE KIDS AS CELL PHONES AND BEEPERS.

THEY STAND ON THE FLOAT AND WAVE TO THE CROWD.

ALL RIGHT, THIS HAS GOT TO GO...

THAT GOES... 86 THAT.

WHO WANTS TO RIDE ON THE FLOAT?

COME ON, YOU GUYS.

WE ALL WORKED ON THIS THING.

IT'S GREAT THE WAY IT IS.

YOU DON'T WANT TO SEE IT TURN INTO A GIANT BEEPER, DO YOU?

All: I... ME... ME... ME!

Kid: I WANT TO BE A CELLULAR PHONE.

SORRY, ARNOLD.

IT'S JUST THAT...

HOW OFTEN DO WE GET THE CHANCE

TO RIDE IN THE BIG PARADE?

THAT'S RIGHT, KIDS,

LET'S GET YOUR BEEPER COSTUMES.

HELGA, COME ON.

THERE'S A SPOT ON TOP

WITH YOUR NAME ON IT.

HELGA, WE MADE THIS FLOAT TOGETHER.

WE HAD A DEAL.

HEY, HEY, HEY!

WE MADE A DEAL, REMEMBER?

THE ONLY REASON I'M PAYING FOR THIS

IS TO SELL MORE BEEPERS.

THIS FLOAT HAS TO SCREAM "BEEPER"

AT THE TOP OF ITS LUNGS.

HEY, ARNOLD, WAIT UP.

OH, CRUEL FORTUNE.

I'M TORN BETWEEN MY POOR LOVE

HIS HOPES DASHED, HIS DREAMS SLASHED

AND ON THE OTHER SIDE, THE OGRE

UNTHINKING AND UNCARING

AS HE SQUASHES ARNOLD'S ARTISTIC VISION.

OH, WELL, AT LEAST I'M QUEEN OF THE BEEPERS.

WELL, I'M SURPRISED TO SEE YOU OUT FOR THE PARADE, OSKAR.

ARE YOU KIDDING?

IT'S A GREAT PLACE

TO PICK UP LOOSE CHANGE.

YEAH, AND A FEW LOOSE SCREWS, I'LL WAGER.

THANKS FOR COMING OUT TO THE PARADE, MAN.

( sighs ) YEAH.

IT WAS A GREAT FLOAT.

TOO BAD THEY TURNED IT INTO A BEEPER.

IT'S ART VERSUS COMMERCE

AND COMMERCE ALWAYS WINS.

I SAW IT ON A WALL STREET SHOW.

HEY, LOOK, HERE COMES THE PARADE!

( band playing, crowd cheering )

MAN, OUR FLOAT WAS BETTER THAN THAT.

( crowd oohing )

HEY, DAD...

CAN I STEER FOR A WHILE?

YOU JUST KEEP QUIET AND WAVE.

THIS IS A JOB FOR A PROFESSIONAL.

HOW CAN THEY CONTROL THAT?

IT'S NOT AERODYNAMIC ENOUGH TO STEER.

( wind blowing )

Grandpa: DAG NAB IT!

BOB, SLOW DOWN A LITTLE.

IT WON'T SLOW DOWN.

THIS CHEAP REMOTE DOESN'T WORK.

LET ME TRY.

GIVE IT BACK HERE.

I'M NOT GOING TO...

LET ME JUST SHOW YOU...

( kids screaming )

RUNAWAY FLOAT!

( screaming )

LET ME BORROW YOUR BIKE.

HEY, ARNOLD, THERE'S AN EMERGENCY BRAKE

UNDERNEATH CITY HALL.

( screaming )

STOP THE FLOAT, DAD!

I'M TRYING, I'M TRYING!

( yelling )

( screaming and yelling... )

ARNOLD!

WHERE DID HE GO? WHAT'S HE DOING?

( tires squealing )

Kids: YEAH!

( creaking and ripping )

( crowd gasping and oohing )

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, THE AWARD FOR BEST FLOAT

GOES TO BIG BOB'S BEEPERS!

( cheering )

THANKS A LOT.

IT'S A GREAT HONOR TO WIN...

AH, GET OUT OF HERE, YOU...

( clears throat )

AS PRESIDENT OF BIG BOB'S BEEPERS

AND THE SPONSOR OF THIS FLOAT, I ACCEPT THIS AWARD...

DAD!

OH, ALL RIGHT, I'LL LEVEL WITH YOU.

I DIDN'T COME UP WITH THE IDEA FOR THIS FLOAT.

I ONLY PUT UP THE MONEY FOR IT.

THIS WHOLE THING WAS THE IDEA

OF MY DAUGHTER HELGA'S LITTLE FRIEND ALFRED.

ARNOLD.

GET ON UP HERE, KIDS

AND TAKE A BOW.

WELL, COME ON, PEOPLE, GIVE IT UP ALREADY.

( cheering and applause )

NICE FLOAT, MAN.

THANKS.

HMPH. IT'S JUST A FLOAT.

( sighs )

( bell rings )

Gerald: A TALENT SHOW?

WHAT TALENT DO WE HAVE?

YOU CAN PLAY PIANO.

EVERYONE PLAYS PIANO FOR THE TALENT SHOW!

COME OVER TONIGHT

AND WE'LL THINK OF SOMETHING.

( crickets chirping )

HEY, HOW ABOUT IMPRESSIONS?

MAYBE YOU CAN FLY AROUND THE AUDITORIUM LIKE A BIRD.

THANKS, GRANDMA.

TV announcer: In show business

living legend Dino Spumoni

one of America's greatest popular singers

has announced he has split up

with his longtime partner, lyricist Don Reynolds.

SHH, SHH, SHH! THIS IS BIG NEWS!

I'VE BEEN LISTENING TO DINO SPUMONI SINCE THE '40s.

The team is responsible for scores of Top 40 hits

including such favorites as: "Magic Fingers"

"The Doll Can Swing"

And "You Better Not Touch My Gal."

♪ YOU BETTER NOT TOUCH MY GAL ♪

♪ OR I'LL POP YOU IN THE KISSER, PAL. ♪

♪ YOU BETTER NOT EVEN TRY ♪

♪ OR YOU'LL BE LOOKING AT A BIG, BLACK EYE ♪

Both: ♪ SO LISTEN GOOD ♪

♪ YOU TWO-BIT HOOD ♪

♪ I'LL GIVE YOU TO THE COUNT OF TEN ♪

♪ AND IF YOU'RE NOT GONE BY THE CRACK OF DAWN ♪

♪ YOU'LL NEVER... ♪

♪ EAT... ♪

♪ SOLID FOOD AGAIN. ♪

( laughing )

OH, GRANDMA, YOU STILL GOT IT.

YEAH, I REMEMBER WHEN I FIRST SANG THAT:

PALACE BALLROOM, '54.

DINO SPUMONI!

OH...

YOU LEFT THE DOOR OPEN.

SO, IS THERE A SPARE ROOM IN THIS RATTRAP?

OH, YES, OF COURSE, OF COURSE...

BUT WHY WOULD I WANT TO STAY HERE

WHEN I COULD BE IN A DOWNTOWN HOTEL?

YEARS AGO WHEN I STARTED OUT

I STAYED IN THIS JOINT

WITH THAT TWO-BIT CHISELER I USED TO CALL MY PARTNER.

SO I THOUGHT I'D GET BACK TO MY ROOTS

FOR A LITTLE INSPIRATION.

SO, CAN A FELLA GET A ROOM AROUND HERE?

THIS IS PERFECT.

I GOT MY KEYBOARD

AND CAN START RIGHT IN

ON MY NEW ALBUM, SIMPLY DINO.

DINO, IF IT'S OKAY TO ASK

WHY DID YOU SPLIT UP WITH DON?

I MADE THAT BUM EVERYTHING HE IS.

IT AIN'T MY FAULT IF HE CAN'T SHOW SOME RESPECT

FOR THE GUY WHO MADE HIM FAMOUS.

IF I NEVER SEE HIM AGAIN, IT'LL BE TOO SOON.

YUP, THIS IS IT

SAME PLACE WHERE I STARTED WAY BACK WHEN

BEFORE THAT SLICK SHOW BIZ OPERATOR

STARTED GETTING RICH OFF MY MUSIC.

NOW BACK TO MY ROOTS TO WRITE MY OWN SOLO ALBUM, SIMPLY DON.

( doorbell rings )

HEY, YOU'RE...!

YEAH, DON REYNOLDS.

SAVE THE CHIT-CHAT, OKAY?

I JUST WANT TO GET AWAY

FROM THAT ARROGANT SUIT I WORKED WITH.

NOW, HOW ABOUT A ROOM?

Arnold: WHAT ABOUT COMEDY?

MAYBE WE COULD DO A SKETCH.

MAYBE WE SHOULD JUST FORGET IT.

DON'T WORRY, WE'LL THINK OF SOMETHING.

Spumoni: GET OUT OF MY SIGHT

YOU GOOD-FOR-NOTHING BACKSTABBER!

I GOT HERE FIRST.

YEAH? WELL, I THOUGHT OF COMING HERE FIRST.

HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT?

LOOK AT THEM GOING AT IT.

HOW CAN TWO GUYS, FRIENDS SO LONG

GET SO MAD AT EACH OTHER?

I DON'T KNOW-- WE'VE STILL GOT TO FIGURE OUT OUR ACT.

Reynolds: IT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE!

WELL, I'M NOT LEAVING THIS JOINT.

AND NEITHER AM I.

( both doors slam )

( rip )

( grunts )

MAYBE WE NEED TO SLEEP ON IT.

THE TALENT SHOW IS IN FOUR DAYS.

WE'RE RUNNING OUT OF TIME.

I NEED A BREAK

AND A NEW T-SHIRT.

ALL RIGHT...

WE'LL DO IT TOMORROW.

SEE YOU LATER.

LATER.

( typing )

HEY, KID. LISTEN TO MY NEW TUNE, WILL YOU?

OKAY.

IT'S GOING TO BE ON

MY ALBUM, SIMPLY DON.

( lifeless melody )

♪ WITHOUT OLIVER HARDY ♪

♪ STAN LAUREL WOULDN'T SHOW ♪

♪ AND THERE AIN'T NO ROMANCE ♪

♪ IN A SOLO ROMEO ♪

♪ WITHOUT SACAJAWEA ♪

♪ CLARK WOULD STILL BE IN DULUTH ♪

♪ WITHOUT YOU WITH ME, BABY ♪

♪ I'M NOTHIN', NOTHIN'-- THAT'S THE TRUTH. ♪

WHAT DO YOU THINK? HOT, HUH?

IT'S, UH, IT'S GOOD.

I MEAN, THE WORDS ARE REALLY GOOD

AND THE MUSIC IS, EH, OKAY.

MAYBE IF YOU JUST FIX THE MELODY A LITTLE

YOU KNOW, LIKE THOSE SONGS

DINO SPUMONI USED TO SING?

LISTEN, I CAN WRITE MUSIC WITHOUT THAT CHUMP SPUMONI.

WHO ASKED YOU, ANYWAY?

LATER.

( playing lively tune )

HEY, KID, COME HERE FOR A MINUTE.

I WANT YOU TO HEAR THIS SONG I'M WRITING.

♪ DOO-DOO-DOO-DOO-DO-DO ♪

♪ AND YOU NEED A BIG TATTOO ♪

♪ DA-DA-DA-DOO-DA-DA-DA-DOO-DA, DA-DA, CRUMMY LEATHER SHOE. ♪

OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT.

IT'S JUST THE OPENING, BUT WHAT DO YOU THINK?

WELL, IT'S A NICE TUNE...

THANK YOU.

...BUT THE WORDS...

I'VE BEEN AROUND A LONG TIME.

IF I WANTED YOUR OPINION I'D ASK FOR IT.

NOW, MY LYRICS ARE GOOD--

WAY BETTER THAN THAT HACK REYNOLDS COULD WRITE.

NOW GET OFF TO SCHOOL!

SCRAM, WILL YOU!

WELL, GOOD LUCK.

( school bell ringing )

I KNOW!

HOW ABOUT POETRY READING?

THAT'S A GREAT IDEA.

WILL THEY WAIT TILL AFTER THE SHOW TO BEAT US UP

OR WILL THEY STORM THE STAGE RIGHT DURING OUR ACT?

MAYBE YOU CAN COME UP WITH AN IDEA

INSTEAD OF JUST TRASHING ALL MINE!

HEY, I'M NOT THE ONE WHO SIGNED UP

WITHOUT HAVING AN IDEA.

AND AS FOR HAVING ALL THE IDEAS

THAT'S ONLY BECAUSE YOU ALWAYS SAY

WHATEVER CRAZY IDEA POPS INTO YOUR HEAD.

I, ON THE OTHER HAND

WAIT UNTIL I THINK OF A REALLY GOOD IDEA

BEFORE I JUST BLAB IT OUT.

RIGHT, GERALD. WHY DON'T YOU FACE THE TRUTH?

YOU EXPECT ME TO DO ALL THE WORK.

WELL, HERE'S AN IDEA FOR YOU:

WE SHOULD JUST FORGET THE WHOLE THING.

YEAH, MAYBE YOU'RE RIGHT FOR ONCE.

ANOTHER IDEA--

MAYBE WE SPEND TOO MUCH TIME TOGETHER.

YOU'RE TELLING ME.

THAT'S TWO THINGS WE AGREE ON.

SEE YOU AROUND... OR NOT.

"NOT" IS JUST FINE WITH ME!

Spumoni singing: ♪ DA-DA-DA-DOO-DA-DA-DA-DOO-DA ♪

♪ DA-DA, CRUMMY LEATHER SHOE ♪

♪ DEE-DA-DEE-DA-DO-DOO-DUM ♪

♪ DA, YOU NEED SOME FOOD TO CHEW. ♪

( smashes piano keys )

( starts crying )

AW... WHO AM I KIDDING?

I STINK WITHOUT DON'S CRAZY WORDS.

THE GUY'S GOT POETRY IN HIM

AND ALL I GOT IS "CRUMMY LEATHER SHOE!"

( resumes weeping )

ARE YOU ALL RIGHT, DINO?

YEAH, I'M FINE, I'M NOT CRYING

I JUST GOT SOMETHING IN MY EYE.

AND IF YOU TELL ANYBODY DIFFERENT, I'LL HAVE YOU CAPPED.

NOTHING PERSONAL.

I WON'T TELL ANYONE.

KID, THERE'S NOTHING IN THIS WORLD

LIKE A GOOD PARTNERSHIP.

YOUR PARTNER'S MORE THAN A PARTNER.

HE'S A FRIEND.

SOMEWHERE ALONG THE LINE

ME AND DON FORGOT THAT.

WHY NOT TELL HIM?

I CAN'T, I'M TOO PROUD AND FULL OF MYSELF

TO ADMIT I WAS WRONG.

WITHOUT DON

I'LL PROBABLY DESTROY MY CAREER

AND WIND UP A BROKEN, LONELY, PENNILESS

SHELL OF A MAN.

BUT AT LEAST I'LL HAVE MY PRIDE.

PARTNERS ARE A SPECIAL THING, KID.

DON'T FORGET THAT.

Reynolds: ♪ WITHOUT SACAJAWEA... ♪

( cats screeching )

♪ CLARK WOULD STILL BE IN DULUTH ♪

♪ WITHOUT YOU WITH ME, BABY ♪

♪ I'M NOTHIN', NOTHIN' ♪

♪ THAT'S THE TRUTH. ♪

( starts sniveling )

WHAT AM I, NUTS?

I CAN'T WRITE MUSIC LIKE DINO.

THE MAN'S A GENIUS

AND I'M NOTHING.

HEY, YOUR SONG WASN'T THAT BAD.

OH, COME ON. DID YOU HEAR THOSE CATS SCREAMING?

FACE IT. I STINK!

WE HAD THE BEST THING GOING

UNTIL WE BLEW IT OVER A STUPID ARGUMENT.

WORST PART IS, KID

I DIDN'T JUST LOSE

A PARTNER, I LOST MY BEST FRIEND.

I JUST WISH I WAS BIG ENOUGH

TO ADMIT IT TO HIM.

SORRY, GERALD.

I'M SORRY, TOO.

LISTEN, I'VE BEEN THINKING...

YEAH, ME, TOO.

IT WAS PRETTY DUMB OF US

TO BE FIGHTING OVER A TALENT SHOW.

YEAH, IT WAS DUMB.

YEAH.

PARTNERS?

PARTNERS.

WE'RE FRIENDS AGAIN

BUT WE STILL HAVE NO ACT

FOR THE TALENT SHOW TONIGHT.

Spumoni: ♪ DA-DEE-DA-DA-DEE-DA ♪

♪ AND YOU NEED A BIG TATTOO... ♪

( both groan )

BOY, DINO SURE CAN WRITE SOME LOUSY LYRICS.

Reynolds: ♪ ...WITHOUT OLIVER HARDY ♪

♪ STAN LAUREL WOULDN'T SHOW... ♪

AND DON MUST BE THE WORST MELODY WRITER ON THE PLANET.

YOU PUT THEM TOGETHER, THEY'D BE GREAT.

BUT SEPARATELY... AW, MAN.

( both singing and playing, cats screeching )

ARNOLD, ARE YOU THINKING

WHAT I'M THINKING?

COME ON, WE ONLY HAVE

A FEW HOURS TO REHEARSE.

( general conversation )

HEY, YOU LOUSY INGRATE

WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

KID INVITED ME, BUM, WHAT'S YOUR EXCUSE?

KID INVITED ME, TOO.

LAST TIME I CHECKED

THIS WAS STILL A FREE COUNTRY.

ANY OBJECTIONS?

Woman: LADIES AND GENTLEMEN

THANK YOU ALL FOR COMING!

FOR OUR OPENING ACT

ARNOLD WILL SING A SONG

ACCOMPANIED BY GERALD ON PIANO.

( applause )

FIRST, WE'D LIKE TO THANK THE WRITERS OF THIS SONG:

DINO SPUMONI AND DON REYNOLDS.

( applause )

( plays intro )

♪ WITHOUT OLIVER HARDY ♪

♪ STAN LAUREL WOULDN'T SHOW... ♪

HEY, THAT'S MY MELODY!

THOSE ARE MY LYRICS!

WHAT'S THE IDEA?

WHAT'S GOING ON?

♪ ...A SOLO ROMEO ♪

♪ WITHOUT SACAJAWEA ♪

♪ CLARK WOULD STILL BE IN DULUTH ♪

♪ WITHOUT YOU WITH ME, BABY ♪

♪ I'M NUTTIN' ♪

♪ THAT'S THE TRUTH... ♪

( crying )

I'M SORRY, BUDDY, IT WAS ALL MY FAULT.

NO, NO, NO, IT WAS MY FAULT, DINO

I'M A LOUSE.

I'M THE LOUSE, PAL.

WELL, OKAY. BUT, LET'S NEVER

BUST UP THE ACT AGAIN, OKAY?

♪ ...WITHOUT DR. WATSON ♪

♪ SHERLOCK WOULDN'T HAVE A CLUE ♪

♪ WITHOUT YOU WITH ME, BABY ♪

♪ I'M NUTTIN' ♪

♪ NO, NUTTIN' ♪

♪ I'M NUTTIN'... ♪

♪ WITHOUT YOU. ♪

♪ YEAH! ♪

and NICKELODEON

Captioned by The Caption Center WGBH Educational Foundation]

Spumoni: ♪ YOU BETTER NOT TOUCH MY GAL ♪

♪ OR I'LL POP YOU IN THE KISSER, PAL. ♪

♪ YOU BETTER NOT EVEN TRY ♪

♪ OR YOU'LL BE LOOKING AT A BIG, BLACK EYE ♪

♪ SO LISTEN GOOD ♪

♪ YOU STUPID HOOD ♪

♪ I'LL GIVE YOU TO A COUNT OF TEN ♪

♪ AND IF YOU'RE NOT GONE ♪

♪ BY THE CRACK OF DAWN ♪

♪ YOU'LL NEVER, EVER EAT ♪

♪ NO, YOU BETTER BE DISCREET ♪

♪ OR YOU'LL NEVER, EVER ♪

♪ EAT SOLID FOOD... ♪

♪ AGAIN. ♪

( piano flourish )