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1
00:00:01,459 --> 00:00:03,211
This is a great
engagement party,
2
00:00:03,503 --> 00:00:05,922
but I get the "P" -shaped
sandwiches for Penny and Pete,
3
00:00:06,214 --> 00:00:07,548
but what is with
the lowercase "B's"?
4
00:00:08,841 --> 00:00:10,760
Uh...
Uh, yeah.
5
00:00:11,052 --> 00:00:12,678
Anyways, I can't believe
that Penny is late
6
00:00:12,970 --> 00:00:14,138
for her own engagement party.
7
00:00:14,430 --> 00:00:16,140
I can't believe Penny sent
out a "Save A Date" card
8
00:00:16,432 --> 00:00:18,100
and asked us to hold every
month but February.
9
00:00:18,392 --> 00:00:20,937
I can't believe anyone voluntarily
decided to marry Penny.
10
00:00:21,229 --> 00:00:22,897
I mean...
11
00:00:23,189 --> 00:00:24,440
She's a disaster of a human woman.
Am I right?
12
00:00:28,027 --> 00:00:31,113
Okay, you guys are all consistently
misleading me with fake pile-ons.
13
00:00:31,405 --> 00:00:33,991
Hi! I am so sorry
I'm late.
14
00:00:34,283 --> 00:00:36,494
I got super caught up
doing wedding stuff.
15
00:00:36,786 --> 00:00:38,663
Hello, Steve-who-couldn't-commit
to-a-serious-relationship.
16
00:00:38,955 --> 00:00:40,456
Check out this rock.
17
00:00:40,748 --> 00:00:41,958
And, no, ya can't smoke it.
18
00:00:45,211 --> 00:00:46,587
I never asked...
How was rehab?
19
00:00:46,879 --> 00:00:48,631
So you're here now.
20
00:00:48,923 --> 00:00:50,883
Let's get started
on the presents.
21
00:00:51,175 --> 00:00:52,218
Oh! Ooh,
Penny, let me go first.
22
00:00:52,510 --> 00:00:53,302
Let me go first.
23
00:00:54,095 --> 00:00:55,137
I got you...
24
00:00:56,138 --> 00:00:58,057
Oh!
25
00:00:58,349 --> 00:01:00,935
A blender.
Nay, a blendaddy.
26
00:01:01,227 --> 00:01:02,853
Weird.
This thing whisks.
27
00:01:03,145 --> 00:01:04,814
This thing grinds.
This thing mixes.
28
00:01:05,106 --> 00:01:07,275
Throw a lobster in here,
make a bisque.
29
00:01:07,567 --> 00:01:09,110
Frappe up your milk
for a 'puccino.
30
00:01:10,695 --> 00:01:12,154
Max, are you selling those?
31
00:01:12,446 --> 00:01:14,031
Actually, we're all
selling these.
32
00:01:14,323 --> 00:01:17,827
We each have to push 15 units
and then give me the money,
33
00:01:18,119 --> 00:01:20,746
or I am in a very bad way
with some very bad people.
34
00:01:22,498 --> 00:01:23,666
Greek orthodox.
35
00:01:23,958 --> 00:01:25,209
Thank you for that.
36
00:01:25,501 --> 00:01:26,961
And this...
37
00:01:27,253 --> 00:01:27,920
Is from me.
Aw!
38
00:01:29,297 --> 00:01:30,423
Hey-o!
39
00:01:30,715 --> 00:01:31,757
Ah! I'm gonna be your
wedding planner.
40
00:01:32,049 --> 00:01:33,259
I'm gonna be your
wedding planner.
41
00:01:33,551 --> 00:01:33,968
I'm gonna be your
wedding planner.
42
00:01:35,386 --> 00:01:36,887
I love it. Thank you.
43
00:01:37,179 --> 00:01:40,016
Why work with an impersonal
professional wedding planner?
44
00:01:40,308 --> 00:01:42,351
You need someone who knows
you, who loves you,
45
00:01:42,643 --> 00:01:44,186
and would rather burn your
wedding to the ground
46
00:01:44,478 --> 00:01:46,439
than see anyone else plan it.
47
00:01:46,731 --> 00:01:48,065
You did have the best
wedding I've ever been to.
48
00:01:48,357 --> 00:01:49,942
Hello!
Standing right here!
49
00:01:50,234 --> 00:01:51,944
I think our wedding was,
uh, pretty spectacular.
50
00:01:52,236 --> 00:01:53,404
Yeah.
The only thing missing
51
00:01:53,696 --> 00:01:55,156
was a bride who stayed for the
duration of the ceremony.
52
00:01:55,448 --> 00:01:56,741
Hey-o!
Ooh!
53
00:01:57,033 --> 00:01:57,783
Ooh!
54
00:01:58,075 --> 00:01:59,577
Come on. What? He's
got the hot hand.
55
00:01:59,869 --> 00:02:01,579
I am so excited to get started.
56
00:02:01,871 --> 00:02:04,165
You are gonna have
the best wedding ever.
57
00:02:04,457 --> 00:02:05,625
Pete, are you excited?
58
00:02:05,916 --> 00:02:06,834
Pete?
Peter?
59
00:02:07,126 --> 00:02:08,461
Pete-est?
Baby?
60
00:02:08,753 --> 00:02:10,546
Oh, crap! Damn it!
I forgot to invite Pete!
61
00:02:10,838 --> 00:02:12,173
What?
62
00:02:12,465 --> 00:02:13,049
What am I gonna do?
63
00:02:14,050 --> 00:02:15,593
So this is all...
64
00:02:15,885 --> 00:02:18,137
Surprise engagement party!
65
00:02:18,429 --> 00:02:18,971
What? No!
66
00:02:19,263 --> 00:02:19,889
What?
67
00:02:21,265 --> 00:02:22,558
What?
68
00:02:23,893 --> 00:02:25,853
What? No!
69
00:02:26,145 --> 00:02:28,230
Oh, my God! No.
70
00:02:39,700 --> 00:02:41,702
Mmm. Are you sure
we're not super late?
71
00:02:41,994 --> 00:02:43,788
It looks like this party has
been going on for a while.
72
00:02:44,080 --> 00:02:47,249
No. No, these are not
deflated balloons.
73
00:02:47,541 --> 00:02:49,877
They are just simply
fioating at half-mast
74
00:02:50,169 --> 00:02:52,922
in honor of all your
fallen former lovers.
75
00:02:53,214 --> 00:02:53,589
Hmm.
76
00:02:53,881 --> 00:02:55,883
And behold!
77
00:02:56,175 --> 00:02:57,968
This beautiful sleeping nymph
78
00:02:58,260 --> 00:03:00,221
symbolizes our love.
79
00:03:00,513 --> 00:03:01,681
Wake up, you tiny whore.
80
00:03:01,972 --> 00:03:03,349
Huh?
She really is small
81
00:03:03,641 --> 00:03:05,059
and tuckered out from
all her whoring.
82
00:03:05,351 --> 00:03:07,269
Yet she has
a heart of gold. So...
83
00:03:08,229 --> 00:03:09,522
So...
Hmm.
84
00:03:09,814 --> 00:03:12,274
What more can be said but "so"?
85
00:03:12,566 --> 00:03:14,985
What a party, huh?
Penny, what's going on?
86
00:03:15,277 --> 00:03:17,113
You are not even gonna believe...
Tell the truth.
87
00:03:17,405 --> 00:03:18,698
My computer totally crashed...
Not a half-truth.
88
00:03:18,989 --> 00:03:19,824
It's sort of a funny story...
Or a quarter-truth.
89
00:03:20,116 --> 00:03:21,325
All right.
90
00:03:21,617 --> 00:03:24,245
Look, I, I've been super
busy since we got engaged,
91
00:03:24,537 --> 00:03:26,664
and I forgot to put your
e-mail on the invite list.
92
00:03:26,956 --> 00:03:29,125
I made it a Peteless post.
93
00:03:29,750 --> 00:03:31,544
Penny...
94
00:03:31,836 --> 00:03:33,546
Penny?
I'm sorry.
95
00:03:33,838 --> 00:03:36,757
From here on out, we will make
every single decision together...
96
00:03:37,049 --> 00:03:38,676
Except for the location
and the band,
97
00:03:38,968 --> 00:03:40,428
which I already booked.
Chicago and Chicago!
98
00:03:40,720 --> 00:03:42,346
They owe me.
99
00:03:42,638 --> 00:03:43,472
I saved the drummer from
choking on a hushpuppy once
100
00:03:43,764 --> 00:03:44,765
at the state fair.
101
00:03:45,057 --> 00:03:46,267
Took him a while to recover,
102
00:03:46,559 --> 00:03:47,727
but he's feelin' stronger
every day.
103
00:03:48,018 --> 00:03:50,438
Hey-o! Hot hand
transfer alert!
104
00:03:50,730 --> 00:03:51,772
I'll take it.
Yes.
105
00:03:52,064 --> 00:03:54,316
Yeah.
So are we good?
106
00:03:54,608 --> 00:03:56,277
The thing is,
I always wanted to, uh...
107
00:03:57,403 --> 00:03:58,654
Elope.
108
00:03:58,946 --> 00:03:59,488
What?
No!
109
00:04:00,865 --> 00:04:02,908
Uh, what?
I'm... I'm cool with that.
110
00:04:03,200 --> 00:04:04,785
I mean,
it's a little unorthodox.
111
00:04:05,077 --> 00:04:06,454
But if you wanna serve
antelope at the wedding,
112
00:04:06,746 --> 00:04:08,330
I say I'm game for game.
113
00:04:08,622 --> 00:04:10,750
No, I said "elope."
114
00:04:11,041 --> 00:04:12,334
Oh, cantaloupe. It's
refreshing but not an entree.
115
00:04:13,919 --> 00:04:14,670
Elope.
116
00:04:18,466 --> 00:04:19,216
Got it. Goin' down.
117
00:04:20,801 --> 00:04:21,260
Ah!
Ay!
118
00:04:22,344 --> 00:04:23,929
So...
119
00:04:24,221 --> 00:04:26,348
Penny took that hardwood floor
to the head like a boss, huh?
120
00:04:26,640 --> 00:04:27,892
Pete was joking before, right?
We will have a wedding, right?
121
00:04:28,184 --> 00:04:29,018
I was promised a wedding.
122
00:04:29,310 --> 00:04:31,771
Oh, no.
Here comes Bride Kong.
123
00:04:32,062 --> 00:04:34,356
Frankenbride. Creature
from the Bride Lagoon.
124
00:04:34,648 --> 00:04:35,900
You're looking for Bridezilla.
125
00:04:36,192 --> 00:04:38,027
That is good!
Yeah.
126
00:04:38,319 --> 00:04:39,779
Dave was a total Bridezilla
planning our wedding.
127
00:04:40,070 --> 00:04:41,864
No, I was just passionate.
128
00:04:42,156 --> 00:04:44,074
Would you call Jonas
Salk "Poliozilla"? Hmm?
129
00:04:44,366 --> 00:04:45,785
Or George Clooney "Darfurzilla"?
130
00:04:46,076 --> 00:04:48,120
Or the founder of
the real estate site Zillow,
131
00:04:48,412 --> 00:04:49,747
"Zillowzilla"?
Not good examples.
132
00:04:50,039 --> 00:04:51,582
I was not a Bridezilla,
all right.
133
00:04:51,874 --> 00:04:54,043
And even if I was, I would
be called a Groomzilla.
134
00:04:54,335 --> 00:04:55,669
"Groomzilla" is not a word
135
00:04:55,961 --> 00:04:57,797
because it never needed
to exist before.
136
00:04:58,088 --> 00:04:59,632
Oh, okay, so now I'm the bad
guy 'cause I wanted to have
137
00:04:59,924 --> 00:05:01,425
an elegant
Timberlake/Btei-style wedding,
138
00:05:01,717 --> 00:05:02,968
while you wanted to
walk down the aisle
139
00:05:03,260 --> 00:05:04,637
carrying a bouquet of fireworks.
140
00:05:04,929 --> 00:05:06,889
Look, man, I was just trying
to put asses in the seats.
141
00:05:07,181 --> 00:05:09,600
You wanted to have a baby animal
petting zoo at the reception.
142
00:05:09,892 --> 00:05:11,185
It's better than your idea...
Having a band?
143
00:05:13,145 --> 00:05:14,021
Look, all I'm saying is,
I wish you would've
144
00:05:14,313 --> 00:05:15,147
let me have more say
at our wedding.
145
00:05:15,439 --> 00:05:17,608
The caricaturist was your idea.
146
00:05:17,900 --> 00:05:19,777
I still don't get why you had
this place hang yours up.
147
00:05:20,069 --> 00:05:21,070
It's called owning it, dude.
148
00:05:21,904 --> 00:05:23,155
Uh-oh.
Mmm.
149
00:05:23,447 --> 00:05:24,698
Hey, you guys.
150
00:05:24,990 --> 00:05:27,952
Ugh. Pete still
wants to elope?
151
00:05:28,244 --> 00:05:30,287
Apparently, Pete's dumb
brother and his dumb fiancee
152
00:05:30,579 --> 00:05:32,122
got so caught up
in wedding details
153
00:05:32,414 --> 00:05:34,208
that they lost sight
of what's important.
154
00:05:34,500 --> 00:05:36,836
So Pete wants to get
married on a beach... Oh!
155
00:05:37,127 --> 00:05:38,712
Just the two of us...
156
00:05:39,004 --> 00:05:41,757
With only the sounds of waves
crashing and our hearts beating.
157
00:05:42,049 --> 00:05:43,634
- Monster. He's a monster.
- Mmm.
158
00:05:43,926 --> 00:05:46,846
No, Pete wants a wedding.
He just doesn't know it yet.
159
00:05:47,137 --> 00:05:48,597
There is a Valentine's
Day weekend wedding expo
160
00:05:48,889 --> 00:05:50,516
downtown today.
161
00:05:50,808 --> 00:05:51,725
Okay, we're gonna
take Pete there,
162
00:05:52,017 --> 00:05:52,768
and I'm gonna change his mind,
163
00:05:53,060 --> 00:05:54,478
or they don't call me
"bitch" behind my back.
164
00:05:54,770 --> 00:05:56,063
She knows.
I know.
165
00:05:56,355 --> 00:05:59,567
This expo is
going to blow Pete's mind.
166
00:05:59,859 --> 00:06:01,902
There is free food, free
drinks, free giveaways.
167
00:06:02,194 --> 00:06:03,654
Giveaways?
Oh, I'm in!
168
00:06:03,946 --> 00:06:06,156
Let's all go! I was already
planning on going.
169
00:06:06,448 --> 00:06:08,158
What? Wait. Is this gonna be
a classic group gang hang?
170
00:06:08,450 --> 00:06:09,535
Yeah!
171
00:06:11,620 --> 00:06:12,830
Oh.
172
00:06:13,122 --> 00:06:13,998
Sorry. Uh...
173
00:06:19,295 --> 00:06:22,381
Okeydokey, Lee la-coke-ies.
174
00:06:22,673 --> 00:06:24,800
Now the individual tickets don't
get you all the free stuff,
175
00:06:25,092 --> 00:06:25,759
so I had to get you
couples passes, all right?
176
00:06:26,051 --> 00:06:27,052
Ooh.
Dave...
177
00:06:27,344 --> 00:06:28,637
And Alex.
178
00:06:28,929 --> 00:06:31,265
Ugh. Why do I have to
be couples with Dave?
179
00:06:31,557 --> 00:06:32,641
Because you are
couples with Dave.
180
00:06:32,933 --> 00:06:33,767
But it's gonna be a nightmare
181
00:06:34,059 --> 00:06:35,311
being with Bridezilla
for this thing.
182
00:06:35,603 --> 00:06:38,689
No. Today,
I am... Chillzilla.
183
00:06:38,981 --> 00:06:40,024
You know what, Al, why don't
you take me in there?
184
00:06:40,316 --> 00:06:41,400
You show me your idea
of a perfect wedding.
185
00:06:41,692 --> 00:06:43,235
I'm sure I'll love it.
Okay?
186
00:06:43,527 --> 00:06:45,905
- You guys owe me...
- Big-time.
187
00:06:46,196 --> 00:06:48,365
How do we owe you? That's
your boyfriend you chose.
188
00:06:48,657 --> 00:06:49,325
You're dating him. You guys
live in the same house.
189
00:06:50,034 --> 00:06:50,826
Okay.
190
00:06:52,119 --> 00:06:53,370
- Max and Brad.
- Oh!
191
00:06:53,662 --> 00:06:55,831
Um... Wait. Why aren't I
couples with you?
192
00:06:56,123 --> 00:07:00,210
Oh, because I got this special
VIP wedding planner pass,
193
00:07:00,502 --> 00:07:03,005
and that turns me on sexually
in a way no man ever could.
194
00:07:03,714 --> 00:07:05,341
Pardon?
195
00:07:05,633 --> 00:07:08,093
I mean, I have to help Penny
convince Pete to have a wedding.
196
00:07:08,385 --> 00:07:09,929
Come on, boo.
197
00:07:10,220 --> 00:07:11,597
It's not like you never thought
about it, Harvey chocolate Milk.
198
00:07:11,889 --> 00:07:12,932
I never thought about it.
199
00:07:13,223 --> 00:07:15,309
Okay, backstory.
200
00:07:15,601 --> 00:07:17,186
You've pined after me for years.
201
00:07:17,478 --> 00:07:19,271
My only previous
interracial relationship
202
00:07:19,563 --> 00:07:21,482
was with a Basque, but it ended
because for a separatist,
203
00:07:21,774 --> 00:07:23,525
he was quite clingy.
204
00:07:23,817 --> 00:07:24,944
Wait. You really got
Pete to come?
205
00:07:25,235 --> 00:07:26,570
Of course, because he loves...
206
00:07:28,489 --> 00:07:30,282
Reggae.
Reggae.
207
00:07:30,574 --> 00:07:33,035
Looks like this reggae fest
is a wedding expo.
208
00:07:33,327 --> 00:07:35,162
You lied to him?
Okay, I did not know
209
00:07:35,454 --> 00:07:37,331
he was gonna come in like
he just shot the sheriff.
210
00:07:37,623 --> 00:07:38,415
Not bad, right?
Yes.
211
00:07:40,501 --> 00:07:42,211
Pete, before you decide to elope...
Mmm.
212
00:07:42,503 --> 00:07:44,797
Why don't you let Penny and I show
you what your wedding could be?
213
00:07:45,089 --> 00:07:46,507
No pressure.
It's totally your call.
214
00:07:46,799 --> 00:07:48,258
I don't want you to feel
like you have to...
215
00:07:48,550 --> 00:07:51,053
Wear that Rasta beret
one more minute.
216
00:07:51,345 --> 00:07:53,806
Well, obviously, it means
a lot to you both, so...
217
00:07:54,098 --> 00:07:55,391
Let's expo.
218
00:07:55,683 --> 00:07:56,809
Yes! Yes! Yes! Thank you!
Thank you! Yeah!
219
00:07:57,101 --> 00:07:58,435
You're welcome.
And I swear,
220
00:07:58,727 --> 00:08:00,479
we will go to reggae fest
just as soon as this is over.
221
00:08:00,771 --> 00:08:02,481
Yah, we be jammin', mon.
222
00:08:03,774 --> 00:08:04,525
There be no reggae fest, Pete.
223
00:08:06,110 --> 00:08:07,444
It's spectacular.
224
00:08:07,736 --> 00:08:08,904
Yeah. It's amazing.
225
00:08:09,196 --> 00:08:11,699
So classic.
So unforgettable.
226
00:08:11,991 --> 00:08:13,117
I mean, that's the kind of thing
that makes an entire wedding.
227
00:08:13,409 --> 00:08:14,535
Oh, undoubtedly.
228
00:08:14,827 --> 00:08:17,496
That is one magnificent
shan-dell-yay...
229
00:08:17,788 --> 00:08:19,748
Or, as the unwashed masses
call it, chandelier.
230
00:08:20,040 --> 00:08:20,833
No, no, I meant that.
231
00:08:21,125 --> 00:08:22,960
Bouncy house.
232
00:08:23,252 --> 00:08:24,837
The bride and the groom can
have their first bounce in it.
233
00:08:25,129 --> 00:08:27,423
So, Dave,
what do ya think? Huh?
234
00:08:27,715 --> 00:08:29,049
Would you be cool with having
a bouncy house at a wedding?
235
00:08:30,676 --> 00:08:31,719
No, I would not.
236
00:08:32,011 --> 00:08:33,554
I knew it.
I would, however,
237
00:08:33,846 --> 00:08:36,015
be cool with having two
bouncy houses at a wedding...
238
00:08:36,306 --> 00:08:38,684
One for the bride's family,
one for the groom's family.
239
00:08:38,976 --> 00:08:40,769
That way, there's twice the amount
of bounce floors to tear up.
240
00:08:41,895 --> 00:08:42,479
Chillzilla!
241
00:08:46,191 --> 00:08:48,360
That future baby booth
was a sham, bro.
242
00:08:48,652 --> 00:08:49,820
There's no way our kids
would look like this.
243
00:08:50,112 --> 00:08:51,488
It looks like black chunk.
244
00:08:51,780 --> 00:08:53,157
It looks like the third Gumbel brother...
Yitzak Gumbel.
245
00:08:53,449 --> 00:08:54,908
Ha!
246
00:08:55,200 --> 00:08:57,494
Whoa, Max. Check out gay
town over there. Oh.
247
00:08:57,786 --> 00:08:59,913
Very nice, Brad.
Why is it gay town?
248
00:09:00,205 --> 00:09:02,916
'Cause it's two handsome,
well-dressed, in-shape guys?
249
00:09:03,208 --> 00:09:04,168
You've heard of
colorblindness, right?
250
00:09:04,460 --> 00:09:05,586
Well, I wish you had
sexual blindness.
251
00:09:05,878 --> 00:09:07,755
Actually, no, I don't.
252
00:09:08,047 --> 00:09:09,715
That is a real disease.
I did a run-walk for it.
253
00:09:10,007 --> 00:09:12,968
I mostly walked, but, you
know, my presence was felt.
254
00:09:14,094 --> 00:09:14,803
Max.
255
00:09:16,764 --> 00:09:18,766
Oh! It is gay town.
256
00:09:19,058 --> 00:09:20,851
Yeah. It's a classic Max
knee-jerk reaction,
257
00:09:21,143 --> 00:09:23,353
followed by a classic Max
false apology.
258
00:09:23,645 --> 00:09:24,688
Brad...
I am so sorry.
259
00:09:24,980 --> 00:09:26,106
Forgiven.
260
00:09:26,398 --> 00:09:27,316
Let's go to gay town!
261
00:09:28,859 --> 00:09:30,152
Hey, Jane?
Yeah, Penny?
262
00:09:30,444 --> 00:09:32,029
Did you hear the news?
What news?
263
00:09:32,321 --> 00:09:34,490
Pete doesn't like weddings.
What?
264
00:09:34,782 --> 00:09:37,284
Well, I didn't like Korean
spas till I learned the phrase
265
00:09:37,576 --> 00:09:40,079
"I don't want to bleed today"
in Korean, and now I love 'em!
266
00:09:40,370 --> 00:09:44,208
Prepare to be dazzled by
all the wedding possibilities.
267
00:09:44,500 --> 00:09:46,001
Like what kind of cake
do you want?
268
00:09:46,293 --> 00:09:48,962
Vanilla? Ugh. Chocolate?
Shut up. Red velvet?
269
00:09:49,254 --> 00:09:51,548
That's just chocolate with
food coloring, ya dumb moron.
270
00:09:51,840 --> 00:09:54,718
Why have one of those
when you could have...
271
00:09:55,010 --> 00:09:56,053
A chicken wing cake?
272
00:09:56,345 --> 00:09:58,013
Or a bleu cheese fountain?
273
00:09:58,305 --> 00:10:00,557
Mmm, mmm, mmm!
Yum! Yum! Mmm!
274
00:10:00,849 --> 00:10:02,643
That is latex paint
and it is for display only.
275
00:10:02,935 --> 00:10:03,811
Excuse me.
276
00:10:05,604 --> 00:10:07,523
And no wedding would be complete
277
00:10:07,815 --> 00:10:09,358
without music.
278
00:10:09,650 --> 00:10:11,068
Mmm, that's my cue.
Mmm-hmm.
279
00:10:11,360 --> 00:10:13,529
String quartet? A DJ?
280
00:10:13,821 --> 00:10:17,533
Red red wine-not have
a reggae band?
281
00:10:17,825 --> 00:10:19,618
I know you love reggae.
I learned that today.
282
00:10:19,910 --> 00:10:22,621
I do love reggae
and I do love chicken wings.
283
00:10:22,913 --> 00:10:25,666
Then you are gonna love
dinner, 'cause it's neither.
284
00:10:25,958 --> 00:10:27,376
Hey, Pen?
What, Jane?
285
00:10:27,668 --> 00:10:29,086
What's for dinner?
286
00:10:29,378 --> 00:10:31,088
Ooh, that's a good question.
Thought you'd never ask.
287
00:10:31,380 --> 00:10:32,589
Steak? Pasta?
288
00:10:32,881 --> 00:10:34,216
How about sushi?
289
00:10:34,508 --> 00:10:36,844
And how about it served
by a pretty lady?
290
00:10:37,136 --> 00:10:39,680
No, ya dope! Let's serve
it on a pretty lady.
291
00:10:39,972 --> 00:10:41,014
Ooh!
Oh, ho!
292
00:10:41,306 --> 00:10:42,850
Maybe I've been a little
too hard on weddings.
293
00:10:43,142 --> 00:10:45,227
I think she's a
little too pretty. No offense.
294
00:10:45,519 --> 00:10:46,854
I mean, you wouldn't want
you at your wedding, right?
295
00:10:47,146 --> 00:10:49,314
I actually eloped.
Weddings are kinda crazy.
296
00:10:49,606 --> 00:10:50,899
And that's enough out of
you, ya human platter.
297
00:10:51,191 --> 00:10:52,067
Big finish!
298
00:10:52,359 --> 00:10:53,277
And that's...
299
00:10:53,569 --> 00:10:55,070
The end.
300
00:10:56,405 --> 00:10:57,781
Okay, Dave,
you're gonna love this.
301
00:10:58,073 --> 00:10:59,533
Ta-da!
302
00:11:00,534 --> 00:11:02,995
An underwater wedding.
303
00:11:03,287 --> 00:11:04,621
You always said you look
great in a one-piece.
304
00:11:04,913 --> 00:11:07,916
I just don't understand why they're
not acceptable for men anymore.
305
00:11:08,208 --> 00:11:09,376
Uh-huh. But a scuba
wedding would be...
306
00:11:10,460 --> 00:11:11,086
Delightful, Alex.
307
00:11:12,087 --> 00:11:14,089
Really?
I love it.
308
00:11:14,381 --> 00:11:15,549
All right, Dave, you win.
309
00:11:15,841 --> 00:11:16,675
Even I think
this is a stupid idea.
310
00:11:18,635 --> 00:11:20,429
But I gotta hand it to you.
You are being very chill.
311
00:11:20,721 --> 00:11:21,597
Let's go get a char-dog.
312
00:11:21,889 --> 00:11:22,723
Chillzilla.
313
00:11:24,558 --> 00:11:26,101
Beige napkins.
314
00:11:26,393 --> 00:11:29,771
This is the exact shade I wanted
for our wedding.
315
00:11:30,063 --> 00:11:31,064
What?
Beige napkins are pretty.
316
00:11:31,356 --> 00:11:33,483
Yeah, they're great.
They're great.
317
00:11:33,775 --> 00:11:36,403
You know, you could even put
them at every place setting,
318
00:11:36,695 --> 00:11:38,238
folded in the shape
of a middle finger,
319
00:11:38,530 --> 00:11:40,240
because that is the message
you are sending to your guests
320
00:11:40,532 --> 00:11:42,159
with beige napkins,
321
00:11:42,451 --> 00:11:43,702
because beige has
no place at a wedding!
322
00:11:44,578 --> 00:11:45,996
Dave.
323
00:11:46,288 --> 00:11:46,788
Out of the way, yuppie!
324
00:11:47,748 --> 00:11:48,707
There it is.
325
00:11:50,417 --> 00:11:52,377
Check out all this free stuff.
326
00:11:52,669 --> 00:11:53,587
How you feelin' gay town now, boo?
Lovin' it.
327
00:11:53,879 --> 00:11:55,923
Lovin' you.
Lovin' us.
328
00:11:56,215 --> 00:11:58,342
And this is my favorite
line of bath products.
329
00:11:58,634 --> 00:12:00,385
You guys are totally
an adorable couple.
330
00:12:00,677 --> 00:12:01,970
You are so cute.
331
00:12:02,262 --> 00:12:03,180
You're like Paul Giamatti
and Tyson Beckford.
332
00:12:03,472 --> 00:12:04,348
Oh, yeah!
Right?
333
00:12:04,640 --> 00:12:06,391
But wait. He doesn't
look like Paul Gia...
334
00:12:06,683 --> 00:12:09,144
Oh.
335
00:12:09,436 --> 00:12:11,355
So, um, we would like some
things for our welcome bags
336
00:12:11,647 --> 00:12:12,773
for our 300-plus guests,
337
00:12:13,065 --> 00:12:14,858
who are all tastemakers
and online reviewers
338
00:12:15,150 --> 00:12:17,027
and style icons, etcetera, etcetera.
339
00:12:17,319 --> 00:12:18,946
Right, hon-bun?
Mmm! Hmm? Mmm-hmm.
340
00:12:19,238 --> 00:12:21,073
Elton and David would just
eat these soap balls up.
341
00:12:21,365 --> 00:12:22,741
Elton...
342
00:12:23,033 --> 00:12:24,326
John? Okay.
John? Okay.
343
00:12:24,618 --> 00:12:25,827
And by the scent of these, you
know who else would love them?
344
00:12:26,119 --> 00:12:27,454
Barney Frank.
Frank.
345
00:12:27,746 --> 00:12:28,997
Barney Frank.
346
00:12:29,289 --> 00:12:30,582
People don't think so,
347
00:12:30,874 --> 00:12:33,252
but Barney Frank is way into
the way his body smells.
348
00:12:33,543 --> 00:12:35,796
Okay, you know what? Since
you guys are such lovebirds,
349
00:12:36,088 --> 00:12:37,714
you can take
whatever you'd like.
350
00:12:38,006 --> 00:12:39,841
Yay!
351
00:12:40,133 --> 00:12:42,552
- Ahem.
- Yeah.
352
00:12:42,844 --> 00:12:43,804
- I mean...
- Yay!
353
00:12:44,096 --> 00:12:46,390
Okay. Okay.
354
00:12:46,682 --> 00:12:47,724
Okay, I'll just take two bags.
355
00:12:50,018 --> 00:12:51,979
Okay, you gotta break
up with me. I just got a turnaround.
356
00:12:52,271 --> 00:12:53,105
What's a turnaround?
357
00:12:53,397 --> 00:12:54,564
When two gay guys
walk past each other,
358
00:12:54,856 --> 00:12:57,067
if they turnaround, it's on.
359
00:12:57,359 --> 00:12:59,111
Oh.
You just got that?
360
00:12:59,403 --> 00:13:01,280
Yes! I just got a turnaround,
so I don't need a you-around.
361
00:13:01,571 --> 00:13:02,614
I am not breaking up with you.
362
00:13:02,906 --> 00:13:04,574
This is a gold mine, man.
363
00:13:04,866 --> 00:13:05,951
What are you talking about?
364
00:13:06,243 --> 00:13:07,244
We haven't even redeemed
our couple's coupon
365
00:13:07,536 --> 00:13:08,537
for that awesome
nail salon booth
366
00:13:08,829 --> 00:13:09,871
run by Tom Petty's cousin
Manuel...
367
00:13:10,163 --> 00:13:11,248
Manny Petty's mani-pedis.
368
00:13:11,540 --> 00:13:13,375
Okay. Fine.
369
00:13:15,168 --> 00:13:16,545
Brad!
370
00:13:16,837 --> 00:13:18,880
You're breaking up with me?
What?
371
00:13:19,172 --> 00:13:20,882
And so close to
St. Valentine's Day?
372
00:13:21,174 --> 00:13:22,592
What was that?
373
00:13:22,884 --> 00:13:24,052
You don't want to get
married to me?
374
00:13:24,344 --> 00:13:25,929
It's just a piece of paper?
375
00:13:26,221 --> 00:13:28,390
It's about civil rights, sir!
376
00:13:28,682 --> 00:13:29,725
Which you would know
nothing about!
377
00:13:30,892 --> 00:13:32,019
I'm out of here!
378
00:13:35,397 --> 00:13:38,066
Can I get th...
Just... just get out of here.
379
00:13:38,358 --> 00:13:40,027
Then your guests write
their hopes for you
380
00:13:40,319 --> 00:13:41,528
inside the lantern...
381
00:13:41,820 --> 00:13:43,488
Which floats up into the air,
382
00:13:43,780 --> 00:13:45,699
lighting the sky with
all their loving wishes.
383
00:13:45,991 --> 00:13:47,576
Aw!
384
00:13:47,868 --> 00:13:49,619
Right, Pete?
385
00:13:49,911 --> 00:13:50,746
- Yeah, that is pretty...
- Aw!
386
00:13:51,038 --> 00:13:52,372
Aw!
Aw!
387
00:13:52,664 --> 00:13:53,874
I knew you would
come around, Pete.
388
00:13:54,583 --> 00:13:56,585
Oh! And...
389
00:13:56,877 --> 00:13:59,421
You can have your entire
wedding video a-ha'd.
390
00:13:59,713 --> 00:14:00,213
Huh?
391
00:14:00,505 --> 00:14:01,673
A-ha!
392
00:14:01,965 --> 00:14:02,924
Ooh! I love that.
393
00:14:03,216 --> 00:14:05,635
♪ Take on me
394
00:14:05,927 --> 00:14:06,678
♪ As your wedding planner
395
00:14:06,970 --> 00:14:09,556
♪ Take me on
396
00:14:09,848 --> 00:14:11,433
♪ Just have a wedding, Pete ♪
397
00:14:11,725 --> 00:14:13,060
She's changing the words!
It's so good.
398
00:14:13,352 --> 00:14:14,978
Excuse me.
399
00:14:15,270 --> 00:14:16,605
Are you guys all alone
in this big wedding expo?
400
00:14:16,897 --> 00:14:18,273
Oh, well...
401
00:14:18,565 --> 00:14:20,108
Marcy Grace.
The wedding planner.
402
00:14:20,400 --> 00:14:21,109
The movie was based on me.
403
00:14:21,401 --> 00:14:22,152
Get out.
404
00:14:22,444 --> 00:14:23,695
Yes.
405
00:14:23,987 --> 00:14:25,739
Mmm, back off, poacher.
They're spoken for.
406
00:14:26,656 --> 00:14:28,283
Jane Kerkovich.
407
00:14:28,575 --> 00:14:30,077
Never heard of you.
408
00:14:30,369 --> 00:14:31,912
Or heard of a movie about you.
409
00:14:32,204 --> 00:14:34,206
Must be an amateur.
410
00:14:34,498 --> 00:14:36,708
Trust me. You guys are
gonna wanna go with a pro.
411
00:14:37,000 --> 00:14:40,253
Uh-oh. Might wanna add
"-stitute" to that.
412
00:14:40,545 --> 00:14:43,799
As in, uh, "Pro-stitute."
413
00:14:44,091 --> 00:14:45,592
So now it's pronounced
pro-stitute?
414
00:14:45,884 --> 00:14:47,344
I don't know.
Maybe it is.
415
00:14:47,636 --> 00:14:48,762
Let's ask the crowd, huh?
416
00:14:49,054 --> 00:14:49,888
What?
417
00:14:52,808 --> 00:14:54,101
Nobody? All right.
418
00:14:54,393 --> 00:14:55,477
I'll take this.
No, no.
419
00:14:55,769 --> 00:14:56,853
Guys? Ladies!
420
00:14:57,145 --> 00:14:58,480
Give it to me!
No!
421
00:14:59,981 --> 00:15:01,108
- Jane! Jane!
- Jane.
422
00:15:01,400 --> 00:15:02,692
Jane!
423
00:15:02,984 --> 00:15:04,319
You're gonna need
a funeral planner!
424
00:15:04,611 --> 00:15:06,363
Not if you're dead first!
425
00:15:06,655 --> 00:15:08,281
So you wanna get a big pretzel?
426
00:15:08,573 --> 00:15:10,492
Penny, this is exactly
what I'm talking about.
427
00:15:10,784 --> 00:15:12,369
Weddings make people go crazy.
428
00:15:12,661 --> 00:15:15,497
Hey!
Watch the sweater, chiklis!
429
00:15:15,789 --> 00:15:18,500
No, weddings aren't crazy.
Just Jane is crazy.
430
00:15:18,792 --> 00:15:21,753
If having the taste to know
that beige napkins are hideous
431
00:15:22,045 --> 00:15:23,380
makes me a Bridezilla,
then roar!
432
00:15:23,672 --> 00:15:25,257
It's not about taste, okay?
433
00:15:25,549 --> 00:15:27,467
You're selfish,
just like at our wedding.
434
00:15:27,759 --> 00:15:28,468
It's always about what you want.
435
00:15:28,760 --> 00:15:29,678
Aw, come on!
436
00:15:32,055 --> 00:15:33,598
Once again, left at the altar.
437
00:15:33,890 --> 00:15:36,184
Penny...
438
00:15:36,476 --> 00:15:37,811
We don't need
all this other stuff.
439
00:15:39,146 --> 00:15:40,939
All we need is this,
440
00:15:41,231 --> 00:15:42,190
and just you and me.
441
00:15:43,316 --> 00:15:43,859
Isn't that enough?
442
00:15:46,611 --> 00:15:48,405
Mmm... Mmm...
443
00:15:48,697 --> 00:15:49,448
I just...
444
00:15:50,782 --> 00:15:51,867
It's that...
445
00:15:53,285 --> 00:15:54,035
I guess not.
446
00:15:55,537 --> 00:15:56,496
Oh.
447
00:15:58,039 --> 00:15:59,040
Pete...
448
00:16:05,881 --> 00:16:08,133
Sorry. Can't do it.
Couples only.
449
00:16:08,425 --> 00:16:09,759
Don't be petty, Manny Petty.
450
00:16:10,051 --> 00:16:11,261
Give me a mani.
451
00:16:11,553 --> 00:16:12,220
Pedi?
452
00:16:15,765 --> 00:16:17,100
Whoa!
453
00:16:17,392 --> 00:16:18,852
You should've about
that couples coupon
454
00:16:19,144 --> 00:16:20,604
before you dumped your
fiance at a wedding expo.
455
00:16:20,896 --> 00:16:22,063
How could you do that to him?
456
00:16:22,355 --> 00:16:23,982
Oh. No. guys,
you don't understand...
457
00:16:24,274 --> 00:16:25,609
And marriage is just
a piece of paper?
458
00:16:25,901 --> 00:16:27,194
After all that we've fought for?
459
00:16:27,486 --> 00:16:28,820
You need to stand by
your man, coward.
460
00:16:29,112 --> 00:16:30,864
Ah. Thank you much.
461
00:16:31,156 --> 00:16:32,449
Lots to chew on, guys.
462
00:16:32,741 --> 00:16:33,909
I'm gonna go, uh, think that over.
I'm gonna...
463
00:16:34,201 --> 00:16:35,202
Hey-o!
464
00:16:36,953 --> 00:16:38,663
Take him back, or we're
gonna pound your ass.
465
00:16:39,414 --> 00:16:40,707
Wait. Uh...
466
00:16:40,999 --> 00:16:43,126
So you're gonna
kick my ass or...
467
00:16:43,418 --> 00:16:44,503
We're gonna kick your ass. Yes.
468
00:16:44,794 --> 00:16:45,545
Okay.
Thank God!
469
00:16:45,837 --> 00:16:46,922
Ooh!
470
00:16:47,214 --> 00:16:47,631
Wait. That's not good either.
471
00:16:49,591 --> 00:16:51,635
Hey, Penny, I'm just
leaving you a message
472
00:16:51,927 --> 00:16:54,054
since they won't let me back in.
473
00:16:54,346 --> 00:16:56,181
You lightly bite
one security guard
474
00:16:56,473 --> 00:16:59,559
and they act like
you're a criminal.
475
00:16:59,851 --> 00:17:01,686
Anyway, I'm sorry that
I left you hanging like that. I...
476
00:17:02,729 --> 00:17:04,439
Huh. Wait a minute.
477
00:17:04,731 --> 00:17:05,899
I just had an idea.
478
00:17:10,070 --> 00:17:11,279
Ah! Uh!
479
00:17:14,157 --> 00:17:17,494
I really want a wedding.
I always have.
480
00:17:17,786 --> 00:17:20,705
And as I got older, I started
to think that might not happen.
481
00:17:20,997 --> 00:17:22,082
And I think some other
people thought that, too.
482
00:17:22,374 --> 00:17:23,750
No...
Almost everybody.
483
00:17:24,501 --> 00:17:26,711
Oh.
484
00:17:27,003 --> 00:17:28,922
I, I'm making it out
of singledom,
485
00:17:29,214 --> 00:17:31,258
and I want witnesses to that.
486
00:17:31,550 --> 00:17:33,301
If a Penny gets married in a
forest, does anyone hear it?
487
00:17:33,593 --> 00:17:34,970
I know how you feel, Pen.
488
00:17:35,262 --> 00:17:37,639
I put so much into the
planning of my wedding.
489
00:17:37,931 --> 00:17:39,349
I obsessed over everything,
490
00:17:39,641 --> 00:17:42,561
from the major decisions
down to the smallest detail...
491
00:17:42,852 --> 00:17:44,938
A security company made up
entirely of little people.
492
00:17:45,230 --> 00:17:47,190
They were very strong.
493
00:17:47,482 --> 00:17:48,692
So I had the wedding that
every little boy dreams of,
494
00:17:50,235 --> 00:17:51,528
but Alex didn't want it.
495
00:17:51,820 --> 00:17:53,071
And at the end of the day,
496
00:17:53,363 --> 00:17:54,155
she was the only thing
that should've mattered.
497
00:17:54,990 --> 00:17:55,657
Hmm.
498
00:17:58,285 --> 00:17:59,160
The wedding that
every little boy dreams of?
499
00:18:00,287 --> 00:18:02,372
Just let me have this.
500
00:18:02,664 --> 00:18:04,833
Ricky Jay was my
personal magic coach,
501
00:18:05,125 --> 00:18:06,960
which is a pretty big deal
in the Ricky Jay community.
502
00:18:07,252 --> 00:18:09,129
Hey, sweet and sour sauce.
503
00:18:09,421 --> 00:18:11,172
What are you doing? Get out of here.
It's not a good time.
504
00:18:11,464 --> 00:18:12,632
No!
505
00:18:12,924 --> 00:18:14,134
I will not get out of here, sir.
506
00:18:14,426 --> 00:18:15,677
I'm here to take back
what I said
507
00:18:15,969 --> 00:18:18,513
about marriage just being
a piece of paper.
508
00:18:18,805 --> 00:18:20,807
And... I wanna marry you
509
00:18:21,099 --> 00:18:22,809
because we're gay
homosexuals together.
510
00:18:23,101 --> 00:18:24,144
Can someone tell me
what is happening?
511
00:18:24,436 --> 00:18:26,062
I love you and all your parts.
512
00:18:26,354 --> 00:18:27,689
They're so good.
513
00:18:27,981 --> 00:18:30,817
Mmm. Like your butt.
I love your butt.
514
00:18:31,109 --> 00:18:32,402
I love resting my head
on your butt.
515
00:18:32,694 --> 00:18:34,321
Is that what you think
gay guys do?
516
00:18:34,613 --> 00:18:35,822
We just rest our head
on each other's butts?
517
00:18:36,114 --> 00:18:37,198
Yeah.
Yeah.
518
00:18:37,490 --> 00:18:39,492
Yeah. Whatever. Can you
skedaddle, please?
519
00:18:39,784 --> 00:18:40,744
'Cause me and this hot
guy are about to...
520
00:18:42,370 --> 00:18:44,873
He's gone. Thank you. Perfect.
521
00:18:45,165 --> 00:18:45,832
Now hurry up and take me back
522
00:18:46,124 --> 00:18:46,541
before these huge guys pound me.
523
00:18:47,917 --> 00:18:49,169
Trust me, they are D.T.F.
524
00:18:49,461 --> 00:18:50,003
Down to fight.
525
00:18:52,297 --> 00:18:53,173
Fine.
526
00:18:54,883 --> 00:18:57,385
Of course I take you back, Brad,
527
00:18:57,677 --> 00:19:00,096
because we are gay
homosexuals who are in love
528
00:19:00,388 --> 00:19:02,265
- and will be married.
- Yay!
529
00:19:02,557 --> 00:19:04,225
Oh!
Let's go.
530
00:19:04,517 --> 00:19:06,144
Kiss! Kiss!
Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!
531
00:19:06,436 --> 00:19:07,145
Nah, it's not like that.
Ah, no, we don't...
532
00:19:07,437 --> 00:19:08,647
We don't even...
No, I mean...
533
00:19:08,938 --> 00:19:09,981
We're more of
a behind-closed-doors type...
534
00:19:10,273 --> 00:19:11,149
We don't need to prove anything.
We're not...
535
00:19:11,441 --> 00:19:12,692
We don't like P.D.A.
Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!
536
00:19:12,984 --> 00:19:13,652
- Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!
- You can do it!
537
00:19:13,943 --> 00:19:15,111
Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!
538
00:19:15,403 --> 00:19:16,446
Oh!
539
00:19:18,615 --> 00:19:20,283
Ah!
Run!
540
00:19:20,575 --> 00:19:21,660
I felt it!
I felt your whiskers!
541
00:19:25,163 --> 00:19:26,081
I'll get married in a forest.
542
00:19:26,790 --> 00:19:27,582
What?
543
00:19:29,751 --> 00:19:31,670
I'll elope if you want.
544
00:19:31,961 --> 00:19:34,673
We can go down to the
courthouse right now. Well...
545
00:19:34,964 --> 00:19:36,675
Well, not the one on Belmont
or the one on Michigan Ave,
546
00:19:36,966 --> 00:19:37,342
'cause I went through
a bailiff phase.
547
00:19:38,301 --> 00:19:39,636
But...
548
00:19:39,928 --> 00:19:41,971
All that matters is me and you.
549
00:19:42,263 --> 00:19:43,098
Pen, I just want you
to be happy.
550
00:19:43,390 --> 00:19:44,516
I just want me to be happy, too!
551
00:19:46,893 --> 00:19:47,686
Then let's have a wedding.
552
00:19:47,977 --> 00:19:49,354
Really?
553
00:19:49,646 --> 00:19:52,148
The fact that you would even
consider eloping is enough for me.
554
00:19:52,440 --> 00:19:53,274
Aw!
Come here.
555
00:19:54,859 --> 00:19:56,695
Hey, Al.
556
00:19:56,986 --> 00:19:59,155
I found some more
wedding stuff that I like.
557
00:19:59,447 --> 00:20:01,950
What, a super boring eggshell
white Vera Wang aisle runner?
558
00:20:02,242 --> 00:20:04,828
No. I mean, I'd die...
But no.
559
00:20:05,120 --> 00:20:05,829
How about this?
560
00:20:08,832 --> 00:20:10,291
For the baby animal
petting zoo I wanted!
561
00:20:10,583 --> 00:20:12,210
And he's in a beige napkin.
562
00:20:12,502 --> 00:20:15,046
Well, it's more like a diaper.
563
00:20:15,338 --> 00:20:17,132
Look, you were right.
I was a Bridezilla.
564
00:20:17,424 --> 00:20:18,633
And, you know,
565
00:20:18,925 --> 00:20:20,468
if we ever decide
to get married...
566
00:20:20,760 --> 00:20:23,888
Uh, to... to the idea of,
uh, throwing a formal party...
567
00:20:24,180 --> 00:20:25,890
Right. Like... like a black
tie Super Bowl party or...
568
00:20:26,182 --> 00:20:27,350
Yeah.
A wedding.
569
00:20:27,642 --> 00:20:29,436
Damn it!
570
00:20:29,728 --> 00:20:32,647
I wanna try to say anything but
that, but it was in my head.
571
00:20:32,939 --> 00:20:34,941
Well, whatever we decide to
do, we'll be in it together.
572
00:20:37,485 --> 00:20:38,486
So Happy Valentine's Day, Alex.
573
00:20:42,449 --> 00:20:44,159
Oh, my God!
574
00:20:44,451 --> 00:20:45,994
Are you okay?
I'm cool.
575
00:20:46,286 --> 00:20:47,036
Just got my bell rung.
576
00:20:48,496 --> 00:20:51,082
Well... You know
what they say.
577
00:20:51,374 --> 00:20:52,959
It's not a good gang hang until someone
takes a major shot to the face.
578
00:20:55,336 --> 00:20:55,795
We should check on your sister.
Yeah, let's go look.
579
00:21:00,175 --> 00:21:04,053
♪ Take on me
580
00:21:04,345 --> 00:21:05,638
♪ Take on me
581
00:21:05,930 --> 00:21:09,768
♪ Take me on
582
00:21:10,059 --> 00:21:11,060
♪ Take on me
583
00:21:11,352 --> 00:21:15,857
♪ I'll be gone
584
00:21:16,149 --> 00:21:18,651
♪ In a day or two ♪
41814
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