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1
00:00:04,754 --> 00:00:07,173
I didn't think we could top
last Halloween, but we did it.
2
00:00:07,465 --> 00:00:09,091
Are we gonna see any
Jackson 5s tonight? Yep.
3
00:00:09,383 --> 00:00:10,927
Are we gonna see any
Marionettes? Most def.
4
00:00:11,219 --> 00:00:12,386
Are we gonna see Mos Defs?
5
00:00:12,678 --> 00:00:14,347
I wouldn't know it if we saw it.
6
00:00:14,639 --> 00:00:17,934
But I guarantee we are gonna be
the only Marionette Jackson 5.
7
00:00:18,226 --> 00:00:19,393
Yes!
8
00:00:19,685 --> 00:00:21,312
Wait. Which Jackson 5
am I again?
9
00:00:21,604 --> 00:00:22,813
You're Michael.
♪ Hoo-hoo ♪
10
00:00:23,105 --> 00:00:24,398
Jane is Jackie.
Mmm-hmm.
11
00:00:24,690 --> 00:00:26,192
Penny is Tito.
Little T.!
12
00:00:26,484 --> 00:00:27,193
Max is Marlon. ♪ Ah-ba-doh-bo-bo ♪
13
00:00:27,485 --> 00:00:28,444
I'm Joe,
14
00:00:28,736 --> 00:00:30,279
and Dave is La Toya.
15
00:00:30,571 --> 00:00:31,489
Why do I always
have to be La Toya?
16
00:00:31,781 --> 00:00:32,740
Shut up, La Toya!
17
00:00:33,032 --> 00:00:34,200
No!
Smack it!
18
00:00:34,492 --> 00:00:35,576
La Toya should always shut up!
She deserves it.
19
00:00:35,868 --> 00:00:36,953
All right, here we go.
20
00:00:37,245 --> 00:00:39,080
Halloween train all aboard!
21
00:00:44,001 --> 00:00:45,211
Oh.
Ow!
22
00:00:45,503 --> 00:00:47,088
Pull it!
23
00:00:47,380 --> 00:00:48,339
All right.
Kick back, kick back.
24
00:00:48,631 --> 00:00:49,715
Penny!
Pull it back.
25
00:00:50,007 --> 00:00:51,342
Collateral damage.
26
00:00:51,634 --> 00:00:52,552
We got to go back.
Why are we turning?
27
00:00:52,843 --> 00:00:53,886
I got confused.
Ahhh!
28
00:00:54,178 --> 00:00:55,429
Oh!
There we go.
29
00:00:58,599 --> 00:00:59,600
Halloween blows.
30
00:00:59,892 --> 00:01:01,102
Drink!
31
00:01:01,394 --> 00:01:03,104
Whoa! Hey,
hold on, guys.
32
00:01:06,983 --> 00:01:08,192
Stupid, La Toya!
33
00:01:08,484 --> 00:01:09,527
Why you so stupid, girl?
34
00:01:09,819 --> 00:01:10,903
You're so dumb.
35
00:01:11,195 --> 00:01:12,321
You a dumb-ass bitch, La Toya.
36
00:01:14,824 --> 00:01:15,324
Now go up quick,
up quick. Up top!
37
00:01:16,617 --> 00:01:17,702
Oh, drink, drink, drink!
38
00:01:19,829 --> 00:01:20,913
It's all on La Toya's beard!
39
00:01:32,383 --> 00:01:34,802
As the public face of our little
gang here... Self-appointed.
40
00:01:35,094 --> 00:01:37,513
...I would like to thank Jane
and congratulate her
41
00:01:37,805 --> 00:01:39,432
on another amazing
Saturday brunch.
42
00:01:39,724 --> 00:01:41,017
Mmm.
Aw.
43
00:01:41,309 --> 00:01:41,684
You go, girl!
44
00:01:43,185 --> 00:01:45,771
You go to hell, girl!
45
00:01:46,063 --> 00:01:47,231
There's no rosemary sun-dried
chicken apple pesto
46
00:01:47,523 --> 00:01:48,190
in that sausage!
47
00:01:50,568 --> 00:01:51,485
Those aren't cage-free huevos!
48
00:01:53,362 --> 00:01:54,071
No.
49
00:01:55,823 --> 00:01:57,366
That is not
fresh-squeezed juice.
50
00:01:57,658 --> 00:02:00,661
That is from concentrate.
Concentrate!
51
00:02:00,953 --> 00:02:02,747
I'm trying, but I don't know
what you're talking about.
52
00:02:03,039 --> 00:02:04,290
Well, since Brad is not working,
53
00:02:04,582 --> 00:02:06,000
we've had to cut
back a little bit.
54
00:02:06,292 --> 00:02:07,335
We were spending
five grand a month
55
00:02:07,627 --> 00:02:09,086
on "Of the month" clubs.
56
00:02:09,378 --> 00:02:10,630
How much could
you really spend on...
57
00:02:10,921 --> 00:02:13,299
Tea of the month, cigar,
beer, soap, month.
58
00:02:13,591 --> 00:02:14,800
Month of the month?
Yeah.
59
00:02:15,092 --> 00:02:17,345
August was March.
60
00:02:17,637 --> 00:02:19,180
I miss "Time of the month"
club the most.
61
00:02:19,472 --> 00:02:21,474
Don't worry. It's not what
you think. It's a clock,
62
00:02:21,766 --> 00:02:22,808
that tells you
when your period's coming.
63
00:02:23,100 --> 00:02:24,226
Yes.
That's a great idea.
64
00:02:24,518 --> 00:02:26,520
Well, big news
out of this corner.
65
00:02:26,812 --> 00:02:27,938
These two are gonna meet
with a real estate agent
66
00:02:28,230 --> 00:02:28,981
and look at apartments today.
67
00:02:29,273 --> 00:02:30,274
Stop! Before you start,
68
00:02:30,566 --> 00:02:31,692
just stop right in your tracks.
69
00:02:31,984 --> 00:02:34,028
We know what
you're thinking, okay?
70
00:02:34,320 --> 00:02:36,989
That we're moving too fast, but we
can't go backwards. we just can't.
71
00:02:37,281 --> 00:02:38,157
Yeah, Jane, you're probably like...
72
00:02:40,493 --> 00:02:42,370
"Bad idea. I'm gonna do
my kegel exercises,"
73
00:02:42,662 --> 00:02:43,537
and, Penny,
you're probably like,
74
00:02:43,829 --> 00:02:45,998
"O.M.G.
This is so not ah-mazing."
75
00:02:46,290 --> 00:02:47,792
Yeah, and Max is all, like,
76
00:02:48,084 --> 00:02:51,796
"You guys are
so stupid and so not fierce."
77
00:02:52,088 --> 00:02:53,631
And then Brad, he's like,
"Aw, hell, no!
78
00:02:53,923 --> 00:02:55,216
"You two whiteys
are moving in together?
79
00:02:55,508 --> 00:02:56,884
"Jive-ass turkeys!"
80
00:02:57,176 --> 00:02:59,637
Don't even say it like that.
Wait.
81
00:02:59,929 --> 00:03:01,263
Al, you are so offensive, but I'm
gonna miss you as my roommate.
82
00:03:01,555 --> 00:03:02,890
Ooh!
83
00:03:03,182 --> 00:03:06,102
Dave! I am gonna miss you
paying all our rent.
84
00:03:06,394 --> 00:03:07,687
I mean, half the rent.
85
00:03:07,978 --> 00:03:09,188
I mean, no one's getting
scammed by anybody.
86
00:03:09,480 --> 00:03:10,648
Welp, I am gonna go.
87
00:03:12,191 --> 00:03:14,235
Wait. I thought we were
hanging out today.
88
00:03:15,653 --> 00:03:18,447
Um, we just did.
Did you wanna do more?
89
00:03:18,739 --> 00:03:21,117
Wait. The not looking me
in the eyes,
90
00:03:21,409 --> 00:03:22,535
the nervous tick in your boob...
91
00:03:22,827 --> 00:03:24,161
what?
92
00:03:24,453 --> 00:03:25,371
Did it right there.
Look at those things.
93
00:03:25,663 --> 00:03:26,664
You're jumping like Kris Kross.
Bouncin'.
94
00:03:26,956 --> 00:03:29,417
Are you making a major
purchase today? No.
95
00:03:29,709 --> 00:03:31,043
Because you know that
I am the closer of the group,
96
00:03:31,335 --> 00:03:32,670
and I will get
the best deal and more.
97
00:03:32,962 --> 00:03:34,130
Remember when I took
Max to get a candy bar?
98
00:03:36,465 --> 00:03:37,633
This thing's filled
with 40 pounds of nerds!
99
00:03:38,884 --> 00:03:39,677
Still can't get
that mother open.
100
00:03:42,054 --> 00:03:42,930
Die!
101
00:03:44,223 --> 00:03:45,099
Ahhh!
102
00:03:51,772 --> 00:03:52,732
Die!
103
00:03:53,023 --> 00:03:53,649
Hang on!
104
00:04:02,408 --> 00:04:04,410
Well, farewell.
105
00:04:04,702 --> 00:04:06,287
I am not purchasing
anything of significance.
106
00:04:06,579 --> 00:04:07,496
Good day, lifelong friends.
107
00:04:14,253 --> 00:04:16,255
C.C.H. Pounder!
108
00:04:16,547 --> 00:04:17,590
I know you're buying something
big, so out with it, vato.
109
00:04:18,507 --> 00:04:20,134
Okay, fine.
110
00:04:20,426 --> 00:04:21,886
I'm buying a new car,
111
00:04:22,178 --> 00:04:23,554
and I didn't want to tell you,
112
00:04:23,846 --> 00:04:24,889
because I knew you'd
want to come along.
113
00:04:25,181 --> 00:04:27,016
Uh, doy.
Of course I want to come.
114
00:04:27,308 --> 00:04:28,267
I'm really good at buying cars.
115
00:04:28,559 --> 00:04:30,060
I know, which is why
I knew if you came,
116
00:04:30,352 --> 00:04:31,479
you would just, like,
take the whole thing over,
117
00:04:31,771 --> 00:04:33,105
and I really want
to do this by myself.
118
00:04:33,397 --> 00:04:35,524
Look, you're my friend.
119
00:04:35,816 --> 00:04:36,942
Okay, I love you.
I just want to help.
120
00:04:37,234 --> 00:04:38,527
So bring me along,
121
00:04:38,819 --> 00:04:40,029
you know, just as,
like, a backup.
122
00:04:40,654 --> 00:04:42,656
Okay, fine,
123
00:04:42,948 --> 00:04:44,575
but I totally know
which one I'm gonna get,
124
00:04:44,867 --> 00:04:45,993
and I have all the info
here in my purse.
125
00:04:46,285 --> 00:04:47,578
Man alive!
Are you a witch?
126
00:04:47,870 --> 00:04:48,621
Huh.
127
00:04:59,340 --> 00:05:00,674
What? No!
128
00:05:00,966 --> 00:05:01,717
Crap. Damn it!
129
00:05:02,843 --> 00:05:04,220
Hey.
130
00:05:04,512 --> 00:05:05,846
Black best friend-o,
what's going on?
131
00:05:06,138 --> 00:05:07,348
Why so glum?
132
00:05:07,640 --> 00:05:08,974
It's Saturday,
133
00:05:09,266 --> 00:05:11,560
and I used to look forward
to my usual Satty D's,
134
00:05:11,852 --> 00:05:13,687
but now I can't afford to do
any of my normal routine.
135
00:05:13,979 --> 00:05:15,231
Well, BBF, why don't you tell me
136
00:05:15,523 --> 00:05:16,482
what you used to do
on your Saturdays?
137
00:05:16,774 --> 00:05:17,650
Well, GFF...
138
00:05:19,235 --> 00:05:20,027
Gay fat friend.
139
00:05:20,319 --> 00:05:21,278
Oh.
140
00:05:21,570 --> 00:05:22,655
I start out with lunch,
141
00:05:22,947 --> 00:05:24,406
then I do a little
clothes shopping,
142
00:05:24,698 --> 00:05:25,950
work out with my trainer,
143
00:05:26,242 --> 00:05:27,827
and then end the day with
a steam. The perfect sabado.
144
00:05:28,118 --> 00:05:29,829
Dude, you know what?
145
00:05:30,120 --> 00:05:32,289
We could do that all
for no money at all.
146
00:05:32,581 --> 00:05:35,626
Welcome to Maxworld,
T.M., circle R.
147
00:05:35,918 --> 00:05:37,753
Really? Wait. You trademarked
and registered Maxworld?
148
00:05:39,755 --> 00:05:41,674
It's kind of a long,
drawn-out, complicated story,
149
00:05:41,966 --> 00:05:43,175
with a bunch of different parts.
150
00:05:43,467 --> 00:05:45,010
Basically, I didn't.
Let's go. Ah.
151
00:05:47,471 --> 00:05:49,348
Mmm. This is it.
152
00:05:49,640 --> 00:05:51,308
It's exactly
what I've always wanted!
153
00:05:51,600 --> 00:05:53,227
Let's buy this, baby!
154
00:05:53,519 --> 00:05:56,772
Hold on. Let's not start
bottom-frenching just yet.
155
00:05:57,064 --> 00:05:59,149
Buying a car is like
going to war,
156
00:05:59,441 --> 00:06:02,611
a very small war inside
of a car dealership.
157
00:06:04,238 --> 00:06:06,073
There's gonna be casualties.
158
00:06:06,365 --> 00:06:07,616
Probably you.
159
00:06:07,908 --> 00:06:09,368
A little friendly fire.
160
00:06:09,660 --> 00:06:11,036
Oh! Yes, okay.
161
00:06:11,704 --> 00:06:15,332
Who are you?
162
00:06:15,624 --> 00:06:17,126
Oh, I am Guy.
Welcome to the car czar.
163
00:06:17,418 --> 00:06:18,669
We know what cars are.
164
00:06:18,961 --> 00:06:20,087
Stop it!
165
00:06:21,463 --> 00:06:22,840
Penny, what are you up to?
166
00:06:23,132 --> 00:06:24,466
Oh, I'm writing him
a check for the car.
167
00:06:24,758 --> 00:06:25,968
It says the price right here
on this little sticker.
168
00:06:26,260 --> 00:06:26,927
Boop, boop.
169
00:06:27,219 --> 00:06:29,054
Okay.
170
00:06:29,346 --> 00:06:31,515
You are never supposed
to pay that price.
171
00:06:31,807 --> 00:06:33,475
Oh, right. How much do you
tip on a car? 15%?
172
00:06:35,561 --> 00:06:36,228
20%?
173
00:06:37,730 --> 00:06:38,898
20%. Okay.
174
00:06:41,150 --> 00:06:42,318
Hello!
175
00:06:44,194 --> 00:06:46,488
Hi. I'm Suzanne
Thomson-Perez-Kline-Jensen.
176
00:06:46,780 --> 00:06:47,489
Hi.
Ow.
177
00:06:47,781 --> 00:06:49,950
Are we excited?
178
00:06:50,242 --> 00:06:52,077
We are gonna find you two knuffle
bunnies an apartment today.
179
00:06:52,369 --> 00:06:55,122
So what do you think, huh?
180
00:06:55,414 --> 00:06:57,166
Two beds, two baths, too great
a deal for you to pass up.
181
00:06:57,458 --> 00:07:00,210
Yep, I did it.
182
00:07:00,502 --> 00:07:02,630
Well, the two of us
think it's too-riffic.
183
00:07:05,049 --> 00:07:06,675
Yeah, I didn't do it.
184
00:07:06,967 --> 00:07:08,302
Well, what he's trying
to say is we like it.
185
00:07:08,594 --> 00:07:10,471
News fiash!
That's great news.
186
00:07:10,763 --> 00:07:12,181
I have the paperwork here.
187
00:07:12,473 --> 00:07:14,058
All I need for you
guys to do is sign it,
188
00:07:14,350 --> 00:07:16,393
and you kids will be locked
into a 2-year lease.
189
00:07:19,229 --> 00:07:20,022
Is two years a problem?
190
00:07:20,314 --> 00:07:21,023
Uh...
191
00:07:22,775 --> 00:07:24,068
Uh...
192
00:07:24,360 --> 00:07:25,778
Yeah.
Yeah.
193
00:07:26,070 --> 00:07:27,154
No, two years is too short.
194
00:07:27,446 --> 00:07:28,405
Why don't we make it
a 10-year lease?
195
00:07:28,697 --> 00:07:30,741
Or 20, or 40.
Okay.
196
00:07:31,033 --> 00:07:32,117
Let's die in this, bitch.
197
00:07:32,409 --> 00:07:34,244
Although this particular bitch
198
00:07:34,536 --> 00:07:36,288
does have some issues.
199
00:07:36,580 --> 00:07:37,831
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
200
00:07:38,123 --> 00:07:38,999
yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Uh, yeah.
201
00:07:39,291 --> 00:07:40,751
Hella issues.
Mmm-hmm.
202
00:07:41,043 --> 00:07:42,378
Mmm-hmm. Mmm-hmm.
Something's wrong.
203
00:07:42,670 --> 00:07:44,338
It's a, it's a thing.
Mmm.
204
00:07:44,630 --> 00:07:46,215
A thing?
It's a grande thing.
205
00:07:46,507 --> 00:07:47,132
Shame on you.
Right.
206
00:07:47,424 --> 00:07:48,759
Okay. Okay.
207
00:07:49,051 --> 00:07:50,719
It's a m-m-m it's sort of a me-me.
It's a m-m...
208
00:07:51,011 --> 00:07:53,180
It's a shi-shi...
Some shi-shia.
209
00:07:53,472 --> 00:07:54,264
Shia!
Shia LaBeouf-y!
210
00:07:54,556 --> 00:07:55,307
It's too Shia LaBeouf-y.
211
00:07:55,599 --> 00:07:56,642
Too Shia LaBeouf-y.
212
00:07:56,934 --> 00:07:57,601
Okay.
213
00:07:58,352 --> 00:07:59,895
I get it.
214
00:08:00,187 --> 00:08:01,772
I guess, uh, uh,
that the fireplace...
215
00:08:02,064 --> 00:08:03,357
The fireplace is too LaBeouf-y.
216
00:08:03,649 --> 00:08:06,527
Okay, so we are forging on.
217
00:08:06,819 --> 00:08:08,278
I will find you
the perfect place,
218
00:08:08,570 --> 00:08:10,656
or my name is not Suzanne
Thomson-Perez-Kline-Jensen.
219
00:08:10,948 --> 00:08:12,408
Got to ask. Are those
three hyphens?
220
00:08:13,117 --> 00:08:14,410
Four, actually.
221
00:08:14,702 --> 00:08:16,662
Uh, Thom-Sun, two names.
222
00:08:16,954 --> 00:08:18,956
I was married to a Korean
guy for a hot minute. Yeah.
223
00:08:19,248 --> 00:08:20,791
His hobby was smoking indoors.
224
00:08:21,083 --> 00:08:21,917
Hmm.
What?
225
00:08:22,209 --> 00:08:23,377
Okay! Let's move on!
226
00:08:23,669 --> 00:08:24,169
Ready.
Okay.
227
00:08:26,255 --> 00:08:27,673
I don't know, Max.
228
00:08:27,965 --> 00:08:28,757
I don't think we should be here.
229
00:08:29,049 --> 00:08:30,676
Dude, these drunks
know how to do it,
230
00:08:30,968 --> 00:08:33,137
plus everyone loved my speech.
231
00:08:33,429 --> 00:08:34,847
Thanks for sharing that story
about your dad and the ice tray.
232
00:08:35,139 --> 00:08:37,391
No. thank you, man.
233
00:08:37,683 --> 00:08:39,685
Every day's a gift.
Mmm-hmm.
234
00:08:39,977 --> 00:08:41,186
I just wish this coffee
was a beer, huh?
235
00:08:41,478 --> 00:08:42,104
Hmm.
236
00:08:42,730 --> 00:08:44,648
Yeah.
237
00:08:44,940 --> 00:08:46,275
Dude, I don't even want
any of this stuff.
238
00:08:46,567 --> 00:08:48,360
I asked for a healthy lunch.
239
00:08:48,652 --> 00:08:50,195
Okay. This one was
for me. You're next.
240
00:08:55,159 --> 00:08:57,161
Thanks for sharing that story
about your dad and the ice tray.
241
00:08:57,453 --> 00:08:59,246
Every day's a gift.
Yeah.
242
00:08:59,538 --> 00:09:00,289
Just wish this coffee
was a pizza, huh?
243
00:09:00,998 --> 00:09:02,041
Hmm. Yeah.
244
00:09:05,044 --> 00:09:06,837
Should we do one more? Yeah.
Yeah. Let's do one more.
245
00:09:11,050 --> 00:09:13,135
Thanks for sharing that story
about your dad and the ice tray.
246
00:09:13,427 --> 00:09:15,471
Just wish this coffee
was a vagina, am I right?
247
00:09:17,264 --> 00:09:19,308
Penny, this is about
more than just a car.
248
00:09:19,600 --> 00:09:21,226
Okay? This is
about your life.
249
00:09:21,518 --> 00:09:23,062
You control your own destiny,
250
00:09:23,353 --> 00:09:25,230
like Katniss Everdeen
in The Hunger Games.
251
00:09:25,522 --> 00:09:27,441
Oh, my god. I love those
books. You read them, too?
252
00:09:27,733 --> 00:09:29,485
No, that stuff's for dorks, but
I knew it'd get you excited.
253
00:09:29,777 --> 00:09:30,652
Oh.
Okay.
254
00:09:30,944 --> 00:09:32,488
It is time for
255
00:09:34,114 --> 00:09:35,866
the walkout.
The walkout?
256
00:09:36,158 --> 00:09:37,493
When Guy comes over,
257
00:09:37,785 --> 00:09:38,827
I want you to look
him right in the eye,
258
00:09:39,119 --> 00:09:40,996
and I want you to say to him,
259
00:09:41,288 --> 00:09:42,206
"what's your
best price?"
260
00:09:42,498 --> 00:09:44,166
And when he gives it to you,
261
00:09:44,458 --> 00:09:47,002
I want you to say,
"No, thank you."
262
00:09:47,294 --> 00:09:49,379
And then I want you
to just calmly walk out.
263
00:09:51,173 --> 00:09:52,091
Can you do that?
264
00:09:52,382 --> 00:09:53,592
Yes. Yes, I can.
265
00:09:55,094 --> 00:09:56,178
So, ladies.
266
00:09:58,597 --> 00:10:00,015
What is your best price?
267
00:10:00,307 --> 00:10:01,183
Did you want the two door
or the four door...
268
00:10:01,475 --> 00:10:02,101
No, thank you!
269
00:10:06,188 --> 00:10:07,147
I'm okay!
270
00:10:10,150 --> 00:10:10,692
We're not paying for that.
271
00:10:14,988 --> 00:10:16,990
This place has
all the things you want
272
00:10:17,282 --> 00:10:19,076
that the last five
places didn't have.
273
00:10:20,119 --> 00:10:21,703
Skylights, gym,
274
00:10:21,995 --> 00:10:24,832
close to a hardware store,
but far from a software store.
275
00:10:25,124 --> 00:10:27,334
This chandelier's gonna make
it tough for chicken fights.
276
00:10:27,626 --> 00:10:28,418
Do you guys have
a lot of chicken fights?
277
00:10:28,710 --> 00:10:29,878
Enough that it's a real concern.
278
00:10:30,170 --> 00:10:31,380
Yeah. Ready?
279
00:10:31,672 --> 00:10:32,214
Whoo!
280
00:10:32,506 --> 00:10:34,007
You know what?
281
00:10:34,299 --> 00:10:36,260
You know what?
This is, this is my fault.
282
00:10:36,552 --> 00:10:38,804
I never asked you guys
about yourselves.
283
00:10:39,096 --> 00:10:40,389
How can I be expected
to find you the perfect place
284
00:10:40,681 --> 00:10:42,266
if I don't know your story?
285
00:10:42,558 --> 00:10:46,645
Well, Alex and I have known
each other for a long time.
286
00:10:46,937 --> 00:10:48,814
I mean, there is quite the history there.
A lot of ups and downs.
287
00:10:49,106 --> 00:10:50,274
Yeah, left him at the altar
for a guy in rollerblades.
288
00:10:50,566 --> 00:10:51,733
Oh! That one stung!
289
00:10:52,025 --> 00:10:53,026
Sorry.
290
00:10:53,318 --> 00:10:54,403
But not to worry, Suzanne.
291
00:10:54,695 --> 00:10:56,697
I did a lot of rebound
between the sheets-ing.
292
00:10:56,989 --> 00:10:58,240
Sluts.
293
00:10:58,532 --> 00:11:00,826
And then, one magical night,
294
00:11:01,118 --> 00:11:02,911
we rekindled our fire...
Oh.
295
00:11:03,203 --> 00:11:04,163
...in the back of my
award-winning food truck.
296
00:11:06,456 --> 00:11:10,460
Well, that certainly
is a, uh, unique story.
297
00:11:10,752 --> 00:11:12,838
Um, I can understand
why you're...
298
00:11:13,130 --> 00:11:14,131
Why you're hesitant
choosing your apartment.
299
00:11:14,423 --> 00:11:15,257
Hesitant?
Hesitant?
300
00:11:15,549 --> 00:11:16,967
Hesitant?
Hesitant?
301
00:11:17,259 --> 00:11:18,510
Hesitant? Hesitant.
Is that even a word?
302
00:11:18,802 --> 00:11:20,012
Yes, it is.
303
00:11:20,304 --> 00:11:22,222
No! It is.
It is? Oh.
304
00:11:22,514 --> 00:11:24,558
We just want to make sure that the
apartment we find is perfect.
305
00:11:24,850 --> 00:11:26,310
Me, too.
306
00:11:26,602 --> 00:11:28,395
Okay, now before we go,
are you sure
307
00:11:29,521 --> 00:11:30,939
this place won't work for you?
308
00:11:31,565 --> 00:11:32,441
Well,
309
00:11:33,442 --> 00:11:35,068
it could work.
310
00:11:35,360 --> 00:11:37,029
Yeah, I mean, it is charming
as hell. Does it have wi-fi?
311
00:11:37,321 --> 00:11:38,405
Yes. Yes, of course.
312
00:11:38,697 --> 00:11:40,407
Ooh. No bueno.
Ooh!
313
00:11:40,699 --> 00:11:41,992
No. No. No. No.
314
00:11:42,284 --> 00:11:43,911
We're old-school.
We like dial-up.
315
00:11:44,203 --> 00:11:45,537
Mmm-hmm. Oh, babe,
do your impression.
316
00:11:45,829 --> 00:11:46,705
Really? Okay.
Yeah. Yeah.
317
00:11:48,290 --> 00:11:49,458
Bom-ee.
318
00:11:49,750 --> 00:11:51,168
Bom-ee-bom.
319
00:11:51,460 --> 00:11:52,878
Here comes the connection.
320
00:11:53,170 --> 00:11:54,880
You've got mail!
321
00:11:59,968 --> 00:12:01,053
Thanks for signing up
for our cell phone
322
00:12:01,345 --> 00:12:04,056
and credit card combo plan,
Mr. Kerkovich and Mr. Rose,
323
00:12:04,348 --> 00:12:06,225
at our competitive
38% interest rate.
324
00:12:06,516 --> 00:12:08,393
Sweet.
Not a good rate.
325
00:12:08,685 --> 00:12:10,646
And that, my friend, is how you
go clothes shopping in Maxworld.
326
00:12:10,938 --> 00:12:12,231
This is fun, man.
327
00:12:12,522 --> 00:12:13,649
And these hats are cool.
328
00:12:14,107 --> 00:12:15,400
Ah.
329
00:12:15,692 --> 00:12:16,360
Nope. Nope.
330
00:12:17,277 --> 00:12:19,071
Nope. Nope. white.
331
00:12:21,156 --> 00:12:23,242
So what's next
on your saba-do list?
332
00:12:23,533 --> 00:12:26,245
Uh, right about now, I'd meet up with
my trainer, Gunther and go for a run.
333
00:12:26,536 --> 00:12:27,537
Nobody motivates me
like that guy.
334
00:12:27,829 --> 00:12:28,747
Nobody, huh?
335
00:12:29,039 --> 00:12:30,791
Nobody.
336
00:12:31,083 --> 00:12:33,377
Well, I think
that's Child's Play 2.
337
00:12:33,669 --> 00:12:34,169
When nature calls.
338
00:12:36,046 --> 00:12:38,590
Excuse me, big country.
339
00:12:38,882 --> 00:12:40,842
Hi. Could you tell me
how to get to the Y.M.C.A.?
340
00:12:41,134 --> 00:12:42,386
Yeah, you go right down that street...
Shut up!
341
00:12:42,678 --> 00:12:43,262
Shut up!
342
00:12:44,888 --> 00:12:46,014
He told me to do it!
343
00:12:46,306 --> 00:12:46,890
I ain't running from no one.
344
00:12:47,516 --> 00:12:48,642
Ahhh!
345
00:12:48,934 --> 00:12:50,644
Ahhh!
346
00:12:50,936 --> 00:12:51,645
Ahhh!
347
00:12:53,897 --> 00:12:56,066
Okay, I think
348
00:12:56,358 --> 00:12:59,194
I have all the options
that you want here.
349
00:12:59,486 --> 00:13:01,530
Should be all good. Let me
just run it by the Car Czar.
350
00:13:01,822 --> 00:13:03,240
He knows what cars are.
351
00:13:03,532 --> 00:13:05,158
Yeah, you do that, chooch.
352
00:13:05,450 --> 00:13:08,245
You go run it
by the Car Czar. Oh.
353
00:13:08,537 --> 00:13:09,997
There is no Car Czar.
354
00:13:10,289 --> 00:13:13,041
No Car Czar? Then who
knows what cars are?
355
00:13:13,333 --> 00:13:15,377
Oh, my gullible, chesty
friend, you better buckle up,
356
00:13:15,669 --> 00:13:17,713
'cause this is when they
make us wait for hours
357
00:13:18,005 --> 00:13:19,715
and assume you will take any price
when they finally come back,
358
00:13:20,007 --> 00:13:21,508
but we're not gonna do that.
359
00:13:21,800 --> 00:13:23,135
We're not?
No.
360
00:13:23,427 --> 00:13:24,845
We're gonna be ready
for all their little tricks.
361
00:13:25,137 --> 00:13:26,638
Watch. They're gonna turn
the air conditioning off
362
00:13:26,930 --> 00:13:28,765
in three, two...
363
00:13:32,269 --> 00:13:33,603
But that's just a coincidence.
364
00:13:33,895 --> 00:13:35,564
Sure.
365
00:13:35,856 --> 00:13:37,858
Now someone's gonna come in and offer
us a pathetic amount of water.
366
00:13:39,234 --> 00:13:41,028
Sorry. This is
all we have.
367
00:13:43,864 --> 00:13:46,325
Now, you're gonna sneeze.
368
00:13:46,616 --> 00:13:47,367
You're a warlock.
369
00:13:48,327 --> 00:13:50,954
Must be strong,
370
00:13:51,246 --> 00:13:52,831
like Hermione
in the Harry Potter books.
371
00:13:53,123 --> 00:13:55,375
You read those?
Dorks.
372
00:13:55,667 --> 00:13:57,544
Whatever. If they don't match
my price, I'm still gonna buy.
373
00:13:57,836 --> 00:13:58,754
S...
374
00:14:01,214 --> 00:14:02,341
They're listening.
375
00:14:07,012 --> 00:14:10,223
♪ Oh, Oh ♪
376
00:14:10,515 --> 00:14:11,433
Hmm. Hmm.
Hmm. Hmm.
377
00:14:12,976 --> 00:14:14,561
He's catching up.
He's catching up.
378
00:14:14,853 --> 00:14:15,771
Ahhh! Ahhh!
Come on!
379
00:14:16,063 --> 00:14:17,731
Ahhh!
380
00:14:18,023 --> 00:14:20,025
♪ When I had you to myself
381
00:14:20,317 --> 00:14:22,611
♪ I didn't want you around
382
00:14:22,903 --> 00:14:25,697
♪ Those pretty faces
Always made you stand out
383
00:14:25,989 --> 00:14:27,824
Yeah. This place is haunted.
384
00:14:28,116 --> 00:14:31,286
♪ Oh baby give me
One more chance
385
00:14:32,579 --> 00:14:34,164
♪ Won't you please ♪
386
00:14:34,456 --> 00:14:35,123
No money down!
387
00:14:37,751 --> 00:14:39,211
Hey! Penny.
388
00:14:39,503 --> 00:14:41,421
Hey, Penny!
What are you doing?
389
00:14:41,713 --> 00:14:42,839
Why do you have a pen in your hand?
What's happening right now?
390
00:14:43,131 --> 00:14:43,965
What, are you signing something?
391
00:14:44,257 --> 00:14:45,467
I don't think you
should sign something.
392
00:14:45,759 --> 00:14:47,052
I don't think that's a great idea.
Great news!
393
00:14:47,344 --> 00:14:48,804
Guy got the Car Czar to
agree to the price we want.
394
00:14:49,096 --> 00:14:50,222
Booyah!
395
00:14:50,514 --> 00:14:52,265
Okay. No booyah.
Because you know what?
396
00:14:52,557 --> 00:14:54,101
It took too long,
and now we want better.
397
00:14:54,393 --> 00:14:56,186
So we reject this deal, Guy.
398
00:14:56,478 --> 00:14:57,604
No, we don't.
Yeah, we do.
399
00:14:57,896 --> 00:14:58,939
The clock is ticking
on this deal.
400
00:14:59,231 --> 00:15:00,690
No. we want it. We want it.
401
00:15:00,982 --> 00:15:02,401
Jane, I'm happy with this
deal, and I'm taking it.
402
00:15:02,692 --> 00:15:03,819
That's it. Okay?
Do you hear me?
403
00:15:04,111 --> 00:15:05,570
Yeah, I hear you.
You're just wrong.
404
00:15:05,862 --> 00:15:06,696
Guy, you can do better.
405
00:15:06,988 --> 00:15:08,532
Jane, stop it.
406
00:15:08,824 --> 00:15:10,242
Taking this deal does
not mean that I'm settling
407
00:15:10,534 --> 00:15:11,576
or that I don't respect myself
408
00:15:11,868 --> 00:15:13,161
or that I can't be the heroine
409
00:15:13,453 --> 00:15:16,039
of a series of self-published
post apocalyptic tween novels
410
00:15:16,331 --> 00:15:18,125
who may or may not be
named Teegan Arrowspear.
411
00:15:18,417 --> 00:15:21,044
I just want to buy a car!
412
00:15:21,336 --> 00:15:22,087
Ahhh!
413
00:15:24,047 --> 00:15:24,881
Ahhh!
414
00:15:26,425 --> 00:15:27,175
Damn it!
415
00:15:28,343 --> 00:15:30,470
That we will pay for.
416
00:15:30,762 --> 00:15:33,265
I got to admit, Maxworld is
kind of doing me right today.
417
00:15:33,557 --> 00:15:34,850
You know, I feel bad
I couldn't figure out
418
00:15:35,142 --> 00:15:36,935
the last thing on your saba-do list.
The steam.
419
00:15:38,645 --> 00:15:39,479
I know what to do.
420
00:15:40,939 --> 00:15:41,815
Oh!
421
00:15:42,107 --> 00:15:43,066
Oh, yeah.
422
00:15:43,358 --> 00:15:46,319
Oh!
Oh, yeah!
423
00:15:46,611 --> 00:15:48,530
Ohhh, yeah!
Ohhh, yeah!
424
00:15:48,822 --> 00:15:51,116
Williams?
Is that you?
425
00:15:52,367 --> 00:15:53,660
Paul, hey.
426
00:15:53,952 --> 00:15:55,245
Damn. what happened?
427
00:15:55,537 --> 00:15:56,746
You got fired,
like, a month ago,
428
00:15:57,038 --> 00:15:58,498
and already you're homeless?
429
00:15:58,790 --> 00:16:00,917
Oh, no. we were just...
430
00:16:01,209 --> 00:16:03,670
I got to go. Forristal's
got us working weekends.
431
00:16:03,962 --> 00:16:05,547
Listen, take care
of yourself, man.
432
00:16:07,591 --> 00:16:08,550
But?
What a shame.
433
00:16:18,101 --> 00:16:19,394
F. Murray Abraham!
434
00:16:19,686 --> 00:16:21,730
Listen, I'm sorry, Penny.
435
00:16:22,022 --> 00:16:23,648
I shouldn't have taken
this whole thing over.
436
00:16:23,940 --> 00:16:25,275
Then why did you?
437
00:16:25,567 --> 00:16:27,736
Because I'm Jane.
I could not help myself.
438
00:16:28,028 --> 00:16:29,696
I get carried away because
I want what's best for you,
439
00:16:29,988 --> 00:16:30,864
and I guess I thought
that maybe you couldn't...
440
00:16:32,449 --> 00:16:33,241
what?
441
00:16:33,533 --> 00:16:34,242
Do it myself?
442
00:16:35,327 --> 00:16:36,119
Uh...
443
00:16:38,538 --> 00:16:41,333
I just spoke to the Car Czar.
He's pissed.
444
00:16:41,625 --> 00:16:43,376
We're gonna give you the
car, plus a big rebate.
445
00:16:43,668 --> 00:16:45,879
Just, just don't cry
anymore and leave now.
446
00:16:46,171 --> 00:16:47,422
Deal.
447
00:16:47,714 --> 00:16:49,174
Thank you. I'm getting
blackout drunk tonight.
448
00:16:49,466 --> 00:16:50,550
Okay. Have fun.
449
00:16:51,468 --> 00:16:54,971
Oh, my Keyser Soze.
450
00:16:55,263 --> 00:16:57,182
You planned that whole thing.
451
00:16:57,474 --> 00:17:00,268
You did the tearful
walkout on him and me.
452
00:17:01,978 --> 00:17:04,356
I am proud of you,
Teegan Aerosmith.
453
00:17:04,648 --> 00:17:05,690
It's Arrowspear.
It's not great.
454
00:17:05,982 --> 00:17:07,400
No.
455
00:17:07,692 --> 00:17:10,195
I never would've pulled this off
456
00:17:10,487 --> 00:17:12,155
if you hadn't
pushed me. Thank you.
457
00:17:12,447 --> 00:17:13,907
You're welcome.
458
00:17:14,199 --> 00:17:16,451
Now let's go buy this car.
459
00:17:16,743 --> 00:17:19,079
Yes. Let me just grab
my license and registration.
460
00:17:19,371 --> 00:17:20,539
Ahhh! Jane?
461
00:17:22,916 --> 00:17:23,667
Jane?
462
00:17:26,002 --> 00:17:26,795
Jane?
463
00:17:27,837 --> 00:17:29,297
It was just so humiliating
464
00:17:29,589 --> 00:17:30,757
having Paul see me
like that, you know?
465
00:17:31,049 --> 00:17:32,300
Oh, I know.
466
00:17:32,592 --> 00:17:34,469
Cindy Brunswick caught me
picking boogs in class.
467
00:17:34,761 --> 00:17:37,305
Ugh. Been there.
Did you eat it?
468
00:17:37,597 --> 00:17:39,474
Oh! Martin, you got
to pick it and flick it, man!
469
00:17:40,976 --> 00:17:42,185
Yo. What's up?
You guys talking boogs?
470
00:17:42,477 --> 00:17:43,144
Yeah.
Did you eat it?
471
00:17:45,063 --> 00:17:46,940
Oh, come on, man. You got to
pick it and flick it, bro.
472
00:17:47,232 --> 00:17:48,108
Ugh.
473
00:17:48,400 --> 00:17:50,527
Hey, Brad, I, uh,
474
00:17:50,819 --> 00:17:52,445
I think I threw you into
Maxworld a little too quickly,
475
00:17:52,737 --> 00:17:53,780
and I wanted to say I'm sorry
476
00:17:54,072 --> 00:17:55,574
that you were embarrassed
in front of Paul.
477
00:17:55,865 --> 00:17:57,325
Yeah.
478
00:17:57,617 --> 00:17:59,035
You know what?
479
00:17:59,327 --> 00:18:01,037
He's going into
the office on a Saturday.
480
00:18:01,329 --> 00:18:02,581
The guy has kids
and never even sees them.
481
00:18:02,872 --> 00:18:04,207
Yeah. Paul is living
the dream.
482
00:18:04,916 --> 00:18:06,209
Um...
483
00:18:06,501 --> 00:18:08,003
Oh... Oh, you...
484
00:18:08,295 --> 00:18:09,879
You mean that not seeing
your kids is a bad thing?
485
00:18:10,171 --> 00:18:12,424
Yeah.
Yeah. Proceed.
486
00:18:12,716 --> 00:18:14,676
I just need to find
something that's in between
487
00:18:14,968 --> 00:18:17,679
working 80 hours a week and crashing
some lame kid's boring birthday party.
488
00:18:17,971 --> 00:18:19,055
Hey. I'm right here.
489
00:18:19,347 --> 00:18:21,016
Oh. Martin, I didn't mean you.
I was...
490
00:18:21,308 --> 00:18:22,851
whatever, Brad.
491
00:18:23,143 --> 00:18:24,894
I had to sit here and listen
to your lame wrap-up.
492
00:18:26,104 --> 00:18:27,188
Get a job.
493
00:18:27,480 --> 00:18:29,357
Okay.
494
00:18:29,649 --> 00:18:32,652
This is the only apartment in
Chicago that you haven't seen yet.
495
00:18:32,944 --> 00:18:35,030
It doesn't have a secret
turny-aroundy bookcase,
496
00:18:35,322 --> 00:18:37,198
but it's zoned for one,
and I got a guy.
497
00:18:37,490 --> 00:18:39,034
It is perfect.
Mmm-hmm.
498
00:18:39,326 --> 00:18:41,286
Al, what do you think?
499
00:18:41,578 --> 00:18:45,040
It's great!
Yeah!
500
00:18:45,332 --> 00:18:45,999
Okay.
Although...
501
00:18:46,291 --> 00:18:47,042
No! No!
502
00:18:48,627 --> 00:18:49,794
No more "Althoughs!"
I just...
503
00:18:50,086 --> 00:18:52,422
No! You shut
your face!
504
00:18:52,714 --> 00:18:53,798
I think he's trying to say...
No. Not you, either.
505
00:18:54,090 --> 00:18:55,634
You know what?
This is not my fault.
506
00:18:55,925 --> 00:18:58,011
This is your fault.
507
00:18:58,303 --> 00:19:01,014
You two should be hesitant
about living together.
508
00:19:01,306 --> 00:19:03,600
"Hesitant?" You know, your love
story that I said was unique?
509
00:19:03,892 --> 00:19:05,226
Yeah, it isn't cute.
510
00:19:05,518 --> 00:19:07,479
It sucks!
511
00:19:07,771 --> 00:19:11,191
You two have been making
stupid excuses all day
512
00:19:11,483 --> 00:19:14,527
because you know
in your stupid hearts
513
00:19:14,819 --> 00:19:16,029
you should not
be living together.
514
00:19:16,321 --> 00:19:18,031
But it's up to you.
515
00:19:18,323 --> 00:19:19,991
What the are you gonna do?
516
00:19:26,289 --> 00:19:27,749
Cheers!
517
00:19:29,417 --> 00:19:30,835
To your new place.
518
00:19:31,127 --> 00:19:33,797
It is stunning, simply stunning.
519
00:19:34,089 --> 00:19:35,465
Man, you honkeys
gonna like it here.
520
00:19:35,757 --> 00:19:36,966
Let's check out the bathrooms,
521
00:19:37,258 --> 00:19:39,844
see where these whiteys
do they business.
522
00:19:40,136 --> 00:19:40,970
You people are getting
way too comfortable.
523
00:19:41,262 --> 00:19:42,806
You know what?
I felt that. I'm sorry.
524
00:19:43,098 --> 00:19:45,100
- That was inappropriate. It really was wrong.
- Yeah.
525
00:19:45,392 --> 00:19:46,851
Well, we did it.
Yes, we did.
526
00:19:47,894 --> 00:19:49,771
We got a place together.
527
00:19:50,063 --> 00:19:51,106
To the best decision
we ever made.
528
00:19:56,194 --> 00:19:57,320
Ah!
529
00:19:57,612 --> 00:19:58,780
Ooh.
530
00:20:01,074 --> 00:20:01,866
I'm gonna just, uh, check out...
531
00:20:02,158 --> 00:20:02,951
Yeah. Yeah.
532
00:20:10,291 --> 00:20:11,918
Jane Kerkovich?
533
00:20:12,210 --> 00:20:13,378
It is I, the Car Czar.
534
00:20:14,379 --> 00:20:15,588
I know what cars are.
535
00:20:15,880 --> 00:20:18,299
Oh, my God.
You do exist.
536
00:20:18,591 --> 00:20:20,969
In my 15 years of selling cars
and my 10 years of owning a zoo,
537
00:20:21,261 --> 00:20:23,221
I have never seen
a better negotiator.
538
00:20:23,513 --> 00:20:24,514
I want you to come work for me.
539
00:20:24,806 --> 00:20:29,144
Mr. Car Czar,
I am flattered,
540
00:20:29,436 --> 00:20:31,896
but I already have
a job that I love.
541
00:20:32,188 --> 00:20:32,647
That's what
I'm willing to pay you.
542
00:20:39,904 --> 00:20:42,240
Here's my counter.
543
00:20:42,532 --> 00:20:43,908
No one should ever
leave the house
544
00:20:44,200 --> 00:20:45,493
without their ideal salary written
on a folded-up piece of paper.
545
00:20:49,539 --> 00:20:50,540
That's my counter.
546
00:20:50,832 --> 00:20:51,332
Here's mine.
547
00:20:58,214 --> 00:20:59,841
Sweetheart,
you got yourself a deal.
548
00:21:00,133 --> 00:21:01,718
Mmm. Now that
I'm on the team,
549
00:21:02,010 --> 00:21:03,219
you gonna tell me what cars are?
550
00:21:04,763 --> 00:21:05,472
Ah.
551
00:21:19,819 --> 00:21:20,612
That's pretty much
what I thought.
552
00:21:20,904 --> 00:21:21,946
It's all they are.
Wow!
553
00:21:22,238 --> 00:21:22,989
I'll see you on Monday.
554
00:21:23,281 --> 00:21:24,240
Okay.
38589
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