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1
00:00:01,709 --> 00:00:03,961
Well, big news in the
Williams-Kerkovich house.
2
00:00:04,253 --> 00:00:06,422
Jane's ex Ryan is
coming into town,
3
00:00:06,714 --> 00:00:08,007
and they're having dinner. Oh.
4
00:00:08,299 --> 00:00:10,927
We did a semester at sea
together, and it was ages ago,
5
00:00:11,219 --> 00:00:13,095
and I am just following
our rule, Brad.
6
00:00:13,387 --> 00:00:14,931
Whatever. We have this
deal that if an ex comes to town,
7
00:00:15,223 --> 00:00:16,307
we're allowed one dinner
with them,
8
00:00:16,599 --> 00:00:18,184
and the spouse can either
attend or not.
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00:00:18,476 --> 00:00:20,019
Well, I'm opting not to dine.
10
00:00:20,311 --> 00:00:21,896
No offense to Ryan.
I just have a Groupon
11
00:00:22,188 --> 00:00:23,940
for a Ladysmith Black
Mambazo concert.
12
00:00:24,232 --> 00:00:25,733
Ooh. And I hate
Ryan, sight unseen.
13
00:00:26,025 --> 00:00:27,610
You're going to see
Ladysmith Black Mambazo?
14
00:00:27,902 --> 00:00:30,029
♪ Yes, I am ♪
15
00:00:30,321 --> 00:00:31,864
Sweet. Anyway, don't worry
about the check, guys.
16
00:00:32,156 --> 00:00:32,949
I got this one.
What?
17
00:00:33,241 --> 00:00:34,700
What?
18
00:00:34,992 --> 00:00:37,078
I have a little bit of
disposable income these days.
19
00:00:37,370 --> 00:00:39,247
Max, you cannot have
disposable income
20
00:00:39,539 --> 00:00:42,583
when you owe us $11,000...
21
00:00:42,875 --> 00:00:45,795
And three cats. You'll get those
cats when you get those cats, Jane.
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00:00:46,087 --> 00:00:47,797
And the reason I have
all this extra cashish
23
00:00:48,089 --> 00:00:49,382
is because my new roommate
24
00:00:49,674 --> 00:00:51,259
decided to pay me
five months' rent in advance.
25
00:00:51,551 --> 00:00:53,594
Ah, yes. El nuevo roommate.
26
00:00:53,886 --> 00:00:54,804
When are we gonna meet this guy?
27
00:00:55,096 --> 00:00:57,098
Oh, no, you won't.
I told that guy that we are
28
00:00:57,390 --> 00:00:59,642
gonna live
totally separate lives.
29
00:00:59,934 --> 00:01:01,936
I will not make the same mistake
I made with my last roommate
30
00:01:02,228 --> 00:01:03,896
and get all invested
in his personal business.
31
00:01:04,188 --> 00:01:05,731
That was me.
Yeah.
32
00:01:06,023 --> 00:01:06,941
And I will not make
that blunder again.
33
00:01:19,287 --> 00:01:22,248
Okay, so Ryan is gonna be here any...
What is happening?
34
00:01:22,540 --> 00:01:24,458
I'm just doing some 'shups.
35
00:01:24,750 --> 00:01:26,127
What do you got going on that you
don't have time to say "push-ups"?
36
00:01:26,419 --> 00:01:28,087
'Shups for life!
37
00:01:28,379 --> 00:01:29,964
Now to bulk up on some
of my whey powder.
38
00:01:30,881 --> 00:01:31,591
Scoop.
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00:01:33,843 --> 00:01:35,094
Just like that?
40
00:01:40,099 --> 00:01:41,392
It's in my lungs!
41
00:01:41,684 --> 00:01:42,935
Anyway...
42
00:01:44,353 --> 00:01:46,564
Oh!
43
00:01:46,856 --> 00:01:49,442
Oh. Listen, there's something I
need to tell you about Ryan.
44
00:01:49,734 --> 00:01:50,901
I wasn't exactly...
45
00:01:51,193 --> 00:01:53,195
Don't care, 'cause I'll be
spending my night
46
00:01:53,487 --> 00:01:55,865
listening to beautiful
African harmonies
47
00:01:56,157 --> 00:01:59,910
and forgetting about
Ryan, who is... A girl?
48
00:02:00,202 --> 00:02:01,495
Hi. Oh!
Hi!
49
00:02:02,997 --> 00:02:04,832
Oh! Ryan, this is Brad.
50
00:02:05,124 --> 00:02:06,792
Brad, Ryan.
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00:02:07,084 --> 00:02:09,670
So great to meet you.
Hey.
52
00:02:09,962 --> 00:02:11,464
Jane, can I use your restroom
before we go? Long flight.
53
00:02:11,756 --> 00:02:13,674
Yes, of course.
It's right through there.
54
00:02:16,052 --> 00:02:18,846
I'm sorry. Okay, I should've told
you earlier, but then I didn't,
55
00:02:19,138 --> 00:02:21,140
and then it was weird and...
56
00:02:21,432 --> 00:02:22,558
Are you mad at me?
57
00:02:22,850 --> 00:02:23,809
What do you think?
Mmm.
58
00:02:24,935 --> 00:02:27,063
Hell, no! Wow!
59
00:02:27,355 --> 00:02:30,066
It's 2013. This is the new normal.
Oh, my gosh.
60
00:02:30,358 --> 00:02:32,860
I mean, I knew you dated girls
in your experimental phase,
61
00:02:33,152 --> 00:02:35,696
but I never got any of the hot details.
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00:02:35,988 --> 00:02:37,281
Why don't we all stay in
for dinner, you know?
63
00:02:37,573 --> 00:02:39,116
We'll get some wine out,
drink it up,
64
00:02:39,408 --> 00:02:41,535
and really dig
into your sexy past.
65
00:02:41,827 --> 00:02:43,663
It's gonna be an awesome night.
66
00:02:43,954 --> 00:02:44,955
We're not gonna have
a three-way.
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00:02:45,247 --> 00:02:47,416
It's gonna be
a pretty good night.
68
00:02:47,708 --> 00:02:49,752
So besides withholding
judgment on your new goatee...
69
00:02:50,044 --> 00:02:52,046
Mmm-hmm? ...what should
we do this weekend?
70
00:02:52,338 --> 00:02:54,590
Dinner with Brad and Jane? Or Max
is always doing something weird.
71
00:02:54,882 --> 00:02:57,009
Last week,
he pretended to be a psychic
72
00:02:57,301 --> 00:02:59,512
and assisted the police
with a murder investigation.
73
00:02:59,804 --> 00:03:02,556
And with his help, they apprehended
several innocent people.
74
00:03:02,848 --> 00:03:04,392
I thought we'd hang out
with my friends.
75
00:03:04,684 --> 00:03:06,519
Your friends...
Dave and Alex?
76
00:03:06,811 --> 00:03:08,813
No, the friends I had
before we started dating.
77
00:03:09,105 --> 00:03:10,690
You know, since we're
a real couple now,
78
00:03:10,981 --> 00:03:12,108
I thought we'd hang out
with both of our friends.
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00:03:12,400 --> 00:03:14,694
Hmm. Still not following.
80
00:03:14,985 --> 00:03:17,196
Sometimes we'll hang out with
your friends... Totally get that.
81
00:03:17,488 --> 00:03:18,739
Sometimes we'll hang out
with my friends.
82
00:03:19,031 --> 00:03:20,366
Now, here's where you lose me.
83
00:03:20,658 --> 00:03:23,828
Okay, Pen, imagine a world where
your friends don't exist.
84
00:03:24,120 --> 00:03:25,579
Who would we hang out with?
85
00:03:27,915 --> 00:03:29,250
Uh... Rachel McAdams?
No.
86
00:03:30,251 --> 00:03:31,335
Sully Sullenberger?
Uh-uh.
87
00:03:31,627 --> 00:03:32,628
Oh! Your friends!
88
00:03:32,920 --> 00:03:33,879
Yes! There it is!
89
00:03:35,131 --> 00:03:37,675
Wait.
90
00:03:37,967 --> 00:03:41,137
Man, I guess my new roommate Chase
is moving his stuff in today.
91
00:03:41,429 --> 00:03:42,430
I hope he doesn't try to
weasel his way into our group
92
00:03:42,722 --> 00:03:44,432
like my last roommate did.
93
00:03:44,724 --> 00:03:45,683
Once again, still me.
94
00:03:49,478 --> 00:03:51,272
Whoa!
95
00:03:51,564 --> 00:03:53,274
Chase's stuff is awesome.
96
00:03:53,566 --> 00:03:54,984
Look at these tchotchkes.
97
00:03:55,943 --> 00:03:57,611
Whoa!
98
00:04:01,574 --> 00:04:02,867
- Hi.
- Whoa!
99
00:04:06,370 --> 00:04:09,373
Hey, Max. Hey, Max's friends.
I'm Chase.
100
00:04:09,665 --> 00:04:11,667
You sure are.
I'm headed to the gym,
101
00:04:11,959 --> 00:04:13,127
but I stocked the fridge
with some beers.
102
00:04:13,419 --> 00:04:14,712
I also got us a couple
of pizzas from Gino's.
103
00:04:15,004 --> 00:04:16,172
Oh, and, Max,
I hope you don't mind,
104
00:04:16,464 --> 00:04:18,799
but I upgraded your cable
to include the NBA package.
105
00:04:19,633 --> 00:04:20,551
Later.
106
00:04:22,762 --> 00:04:24,513
That guy is so cool!
107
00:04:24,805 --> 00:04:26,390
Why would you want to live
a separate life from that guy?
108
00:04:26,682 --> 00:04:30,770
Well, obviously, I'm regretting taking
such a hard stance on that now.
109
00:04:31,061 --> 00:04:33,773
I mean, is this
restoration hardware?
110
00:04:34,064 --> 00:04:36,025
This is a disaster. We have
to find a way to fix this.
111
00:04:36,317 --> 00:04:39,069
I got it.
It's so simple.
112
00:04:39,361 --> 00:04:42,698
All we do is stay here, wait for
Chase to come back from the gym,
113
00:04:42,990 --> 00:04:45,242
then we show him how cool
we are, and boom,
114
00:04:45,534 --> 00:04:46,827
he'll wanna be best friends
with us forever.
115
00:04:47,119 --> 00:04:48,913
Now, everybody, just kind
of act cool, you know?
116
00:04:50,039 --> 00:04:51,040
- Real cool-like.
- Yes.
117
00:04:52,666 --> 00:04:54,835
What is that?
Yeah, Dave.
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00:04:55,127 --> 00:04:58,172
Don't embarrass us
in front of Chase, okay?
119
00:04:58,464 --> 00:04:59,924
So that was how I ended up
giving my mother a kidney.
120
00:05:00,216 --> 00:05:02,426
Classic.
121
00:05:02,718 --> 00:05:03,594
But can we be serious
for a moment?
122
00:05:03,886 --> 00:05:04,929
'Cause I feel like
we've been talking,
123
00:05:05,221 --> 00:05:08,057
but nobody's really
said anything... Sexy.
124
00:05:08,349 --> 00:05:11,018
Okay. Let's not make
Ryan uncomfortable.
125
00:05:11,310 --> 00:05:13,604
Hey. I just want
you to feel free
126
00:05:13,896 --> 00:05:17,316
to reminisce about
your time at sea. That's all.
127
00:05:17,608 --> 00:05:20,486
I don't know, like
pillow fights or kissing contests.
128
00:05:20,778 --> 00:05:21,654
Maybe somebody's wearing
a little skipper's hat?
129
00:05:23,405 --> 00:05:25,199
Okay. I have
a sexy story for you.
130
00:05:25,491 --> 00:05:26,909
You do?
Yeah.
131
00:05:27,201 --> 00:05:28,828
I remember this one time...
Oh...
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00:05:29,119 --> 00:05:31,539
...we were at port
at Saint Thomas.
133
00:05:31,831 --> 00:05:34,124
Oh, yeah! And we had to
camp out in the rain.
134
00:05:34,416 --> 00:05:37,127
Yes! Rain. Wet.
Go with that.
135
00:05:37,419 --> 00:05:39,421
And we were soaked.
Oh, yeah, you were.
136
00:05:39,713 --> 00:05:41,549
We had to strip down
to our tank tops.
137
00:05:41,841 --> 00:05:44,385
Paint it. Paint a picture.
138
00:05:44,677 --> 00:05:47,555
And we had to snuggle to keep warm.
Mmm.
139
00:05:47,847 --> 00:05:49,223
Ohh. That's when things
got pretty intense.
140
00:05:51,267 --> 00:05:55,521
'Cause we just talked
141
00:05:55,813 --> 00:05:57,022
all night about feminist theory.
142
00:05:57,314 --> 00:05:58,357
The end.
143
00:05:58,649 --> 00:05:59,149
The end?
Mmm-hmm.
144
00:06:00,067 --> 00:06:01,777
There's gotta be more.
145
00:06:02,069 --> 00:06:03,404
Well, there was one other thing.
Yes. Right.
146
00:06:03,696 --> 00:06:06,615
That was, uh, when we said
that we loved each other.
147
00:06:06,907 --> 00:06:08,242
Right.
What? No.
148
00:06:10,369 --> 00:06:11,078
Huh?
149
00:06:12,454 --> 00:06:13,247
Love?
150
00:06:17,751 --> 00:06:18,961
Well...
151
00:06:20,254 --> 00:06:22,047
All right. Great dinner.
152
00:06:22,339 --> 00:06:23,382
We're gonna call it a night.
153
00:06:23,674 --> 00:06:25,467
Jane and I will go
to our marriage bed,
154
00:06:25,759 --> 00:06:27,803
and, Ryan, you can leave and
do whatever, and I don't care,
155
00:06:28,095 --> 00:06:29,889
and good night.
Sorry.
156
00:06:30,180 --> 00:06:31,849
I gave away my Ladysmith Black
Mambazo tickets for this?
157
00:06:38,939 --> 00:06:40,441
Have you been up all night?
158
00:06:40,733 --> 00:06:42,860
Uncle Jerry.
Yeah, but, you know,
159
00:06:43,152 --> 00:06:44,820
it's paid off 'cause look
what I can do with the cards.
160
00:06:50,326 --> 00:06:52,453
Wait. Did Chase not come
home last night?
161
00:06:52,745 --> 00:06:55,414
No. No. And I've had
a lot of time to consider
162
00:06:55,706 --> 00:06:58,751
all of the possibilities
of what could've happened.
163
00:06:59,043 --> 00:07:00,753
He definitely
got eaten by a bear.
164
00:07:01,045 --> 00:07:02,796
Okay. In the event that
that didn't happen,
165
00:07:03,088 --> 00:07:04,131
we should probably get
in touch with him,
166
00:07:04,423 --> 00:07:06,508
because it's roommate protocol.
It's a sacred bond.
167
00:07:06,800 --> 00:07:07,968
I do not believe that
that is a real thing.
168
00:07:08,260 --> 00:07:09,428
Bet you thought
it was pretty real
169
00:07:09,720 --> 00:07:10,971
when I rescued you
from that well.
170
00:07:11,263 --> 00:07:12,556
Oh, my God.
The well thing again?
171
00:07:12,848 --> 00:07:14,433
You saved me from a well once,
172
00:07:14,725 --> 00:07:16,060
and now I gotta hear it
for the rest of my life?
173
00:07:16,352 --> 00:07:17,728
Guys, why don't we just
call Chase and make sure
174
00:07:18,020 --> 00:07:19,521
that he's fine and that
he's not in a bear's stomach?
175
00:07:23,317 --> 00:07:25,194
Did we all hear that?
Did you hear that?
176
00:07:25,486 --> 00:07:26,987
There's someone scoring our life.
177
00:07:27,279 --> 00:07:29,114
Somebody's scoring our life.
Someone's scoring our life.
178
00:07:29,406 --> 00:07:31,367
- Oh, it's his ring.
- Oh.
179
00:07:31,659 --> 00:07:33,827
Why does Chase
have that ringtone? Hello!
180
00:07:34,119 --> 00:07:36,872
Dave, I am on record
as saying you are an idiot,
181
00:07:37,164 --> 00:07:38,123
but in this case,
I think you're right.
182
00:07:38,415 --> 00:07:39,500
I mean, Chase could be
in serious trouble.
183
00:07:39,792 --> 00:07:41,627
No one leaves their cell phone.
184
00:07:41,919 --> 00:07:43,712
Unless you happen
to fall into a well.
185
00:07:44,004 --> 00:07:45,506
Okay, a real gentleman
saves someone from a well
186
00:07:45,798 --> 00:07:46,674
and never mentions it again.
187
00:07:50,511 --> 00:07:52,096
Think, damn it!
All right, guys,
188
00:07:52,388 --> 00:07:54,723
can't we just call
Chase's work or his family?
189
00:07:55,015 --> 00:07:56,600
Dave. Why don't you leave
the sleuthing
190
00:07:56,892 --> 00:07:58,435
to the pro sleuthers here?
191
00:07:58,727 --> 00:08:01,146
And besides, it is totally
obvious what we need to do.
192
00:08:01,438 --> 00:08:03,357
So obvious.
193
00:08:03,649 --> 00:08:05,442
We gotta make sure we have, uh...
The clue...
194
00:08:05,734 --> 00:08:07,111
...the proper DNA samples. Blood,
hair, DNA. Get to the right path
195
00:08:07,403 --> 00:08:08,278
that leads to that
fork in the road.
196
00:08:08,570 --> 00:08:09,613
Make sure that
that gets to a lab.
197
00:08:09,905 --> 00:08:11,949
Okay, I'm just gonna check
Chase's phone for texts.
198
00:08:12,241 --> 00:08:14,326
Check his phone!
Check his phone!
199
00:08:14,618 --> 00:08:17,329
Boom! The most recent ones are
from a woman named Veronica.
200
00:08:17,621 --> 00:08:18,706
You can never trust a Veronica.
201
00:08:18,998 --> 00:08:20,582
You know, I had a boyfriend
named Veronica.
202
00:08:20,874 --> 00:08:23,669
Turns out he was a woman.
203
00:08:23,961 --> 00:08:25,421
Oh. Okay. What do we do next?
204
00:08:25,713 --> 00:08:27,631
We gotta contact CTU.
205
00:08:27,923 --> 00:08:30,426
ICU. The ECU. Yes. 'Cause
there could be an emergency.
206
00:08:30,718 --> 00:08:31,969
We gotta contact TCU,
Texas Christian University.
207
00:08:32,261 --> 00:08:33,637
And we'll find out
through them. Yeah.
208
00:08:33,929 --> 00:08:36,348
I just texted Veronica,
pretending to be Chase.
209
00:08:36,640 --> 00:08:37,474
She's on her way over right now.
210
00:08:37,766 --> 00:08:40,811
Text her as Chase!
211
00:08:41,103 --> 00:08:43,522
Guys, come on. Can we just focus?
You're acting silly.
212
00:08:43,814 --> 00:08:45,065
Are you wearing
Chase's jacket, Dave?
213
00:08:45,357 --> 00:08:46,400
Where does he get
such fine corduroy?
214
00:08:48,569 --> 00:08:50,612
...so then I just asked her
directly, and it turns out
215
00:08:50,904 --> 00:08:52,031
it was one big misunderstanding.
216
00:08:54,575 --> 00:08:57,745
So... Nothing else
happened?
217
00:08:58,037 --> 00:09:00,539
No obstacles you had to
hijinks your way out of?
218
00:09:00,831 --> 00:09:02,541
No one brought a miniature
pig to a car dealership
219
00:09:02,833 --> 00:09:04,710
to prove a point
about gender roles?
220
00:09:05,002 --> 00:09:07,212
No. We hardly ever use tiny
livestock to prove points.
221
00:09:08,088 --> 00:09:10,132
Oh!
222
00:09:10,424 --> 00:09:13,552
Ooh! Check out
red shirt diaries over here!
223
00:09:13,844 --> 00:09:16,555
Spill much? Have a little cheese with
that wine, you stupid clumsy bitch!
224
00:09:19,558 --> 00:09:20,934
Up top!
225
00:09:21,226 --> 00:09:21,977
Oh. Oh.
226
00:09:23,312 --> 00:09:25,230
You guys don't do pile-ons?
227
00:09:25,522 --> 00:09:26,940
I am so sorry.
Let me help you.
228
00:09:27,232 --> 00:09:29,151
Uh, uh, wait...
Waitress, some club soda!
229
00:09:29,443 --> 00:09:31,570
Did you want my shirt?
Or here's... Here's $100.
230
00:09:31,862 --> 00:09:34,323
On second thought, the red suits you.
You're beautiful.
231
00:09:34,615 --> 00:09:35,908
'Cause you look so good, I'm
gonna do it to myself.
232
00:09:36,200 --> 00:09:36,867
No, no, no. Duh, duh, duh.
233
00:09:39,328 --> 00:09:40,829
And here we are
in our early days.
234
00:09:41,121 --> 00:09:42,623
You can see
our love is blossoming.
235
00:09:42,915 --> 00:09:44,374
In case you can't,
here's a bar graph showing
236
00:09:44,666 --> 00:09:47,252
that she loves me more than
anyone or anything ever.
237
00:09:47,544 --> 00:09:49,963
Look, the numbers don't lie.
This is science.
238
00:09:50,255 --> 00:09:51,423
It took you five hours
to make this, huh?
239
00:09:51,715 --> 00:09:53,383
Yep. In between my 'shups.
240
00:09:53,675 --> 00:09:54,760
He means push-ups.
241
00:09:55,052 --> 00:09:56,345
'Shups for life!
242
00:09:56,637 --> 00:09:58,597
Hey, um, I think that
I should probably go.
243
00:09:58,889 --> 00:09:59,556
Oh.
244
00:10:00,849 --> 00:10:02,559
Okay. Sure. Yeah.
245
00:10:02,851 --> 00:10:05,437
Oh, man, She's leaving.
No, don't go.
246
00:10:05,729 --> 00:10:06,939
I really wish you would leave.
247
00:10:07,231 --> 00:10:10,025
Brad, what is going on with you?
248
00:10:10,317 --> 00:10:12,277
You know that Ryan and I
were forever ago.
249
00:10:12,569 --> 00:10:14,780
We're just friends now.
We're like Portia and Ellen.
250
00:10:15,072 --> 00:10:17,950
Portia and Ellen are married.
What?
251
00:10:18,242 --> 00:10:19,701
What? Portia's a lesbian?
Yeah.
252
00:10:19,993 --> 00:10:22,496
Anyway, the point is, we've dated
a lot of people in the past,
253
00:10:22,788 --> 00:10:25,707
and we should be able
to be adult around our exes.
254
00:10:25,999 --> 00:10:29,419
It's time to grow up. You know what?
You're right. I'm sorry.
255
00:10:29,711 --> 00:10:31,255
Let's have a do-over dinner
with Ryan tonight.
256
00:10:31,547 --> 00:10:33,799
Okay? I promise
to be an adult.
257
00:10:34,091 --> 00:10:34,716
Thank you.
Yeah.
258
00:10:36,176 --> 00:10:37,302
Is that Photoshopped?
Hmm?
259
00:10:39,638 --> 00:10:41,515
Uh, no, it's not
Photoshopped, Jane.
260
00:10:42,933 --> 00:10:43,892
It's Adobe cut and paste.
261
00:10:48,564 --> 00:10:52,109
Hello?
Oh. It's you, Veronica.
262
00:10:52,401 --> 00:10:53,777
We've been waiting for you.
263
00:10:54,069 --> 00:10:55,904
And we have some serious quest...
Ow. Ow!
264
00:10:56,196 --> 00:10:58,073
Damn it. Why'd you guys
talk me into this?
265
00:10:58,365 --> 00:11:00,117
You know I'm not good
at dramatic swivels.
266
00:11:00,409 --> 00:11:03,120
Where's Chase? Why don't
you tell us, tootsie pops?
267
00:11:03,412 --> 00:11:04,872
You were the last person
to see him alive.
268
00:11:05,164 --> 00:11:06,874
Alive? What are you guys
talking about?
269
00:11:07,166 --> 00:11:08,792
You sure ask
a lot of questions, lady.
270
00:11:09,084 --> 00:11:11,044
We found this briefcase
in Chase's room.
271
00:11:11,336 --> 00:11:13,046
We need the combination
to get it open.
272
00:11:13,338 --> 00:11:15,299
Did you even check
to make sure it was locked?
273
00:11:15,591 --> 00:11:19,219
Oh. I'm sure Chase just leaves unlocked
briefcases all over the place.
274
00:11:19,511 --> 00:11:21,513
I'm sure I'm just gonna press these
buttons here and it's gonna open.
275
00:11:21,805 --> 00:11:25,017
It opened.
Bye. Idiots.
276
00:11:25,309 --> 00:11:26,476
What's in it? A gun? Cash?
277
00:11:26,768 --> 00:11:28,228
Looks like
just bunch of old bills.
278
00:11:28,520 --> 00:11:29,396
You know what we need to do.
279
00:11:29,688 --> 00:11:32,191
Yeah. Just...
280
00:11:32,482 --> 00:11:33,442
We gotta always be closing.
Chase those leads and...
281
00:11:33,734 --> 00:11:35,611
We gotta close it.
282
00:11:35,903 --> 00:11:36,945
'Cause closing is for closers.
Exactly.
283
00:11:37,237 --> 00:11:39,072
Hi, this is Chase Regan.
284
00:11:39,364 --> 00:11:42,034
My credit card was stolen
about 20 minutes ago.
285
00:11:42,326 --> 00:11:44,077
Could you tell me where the
last place it was used, please?
286
00:11:44,369 --> 00:11:46,663
Call the credit card company!
287
00:11:46,955 --> 00:11:48,457
Chase's credit card was used
288
00:11:48,749 --> 00:11:50,250
at a restaurant downtown.
289
00:11:50,542 --> 00:11:52,544
Let's go.
290
00:11:52,836 --> 00:11:54,338
You are not leaving the house
in Chase's glasses!
291
00:11:54,630 --> 00:11:57,174
But I look like Dwight Howard.
292
00:11:57,466 --> 00:11:59,301
No. No. He looks like Rachel
Maddow with a goatee.
293
00:11:59,593 --> 00:12:01,887
Yeah.
That's even better.
294
00:12:02,179 --> 00:12:04,139
That's why I think we're not worried
enough about the debt ceiling.
295
00:12:05,349 --> 00:12:06,391
Oh, I get it.
296
00:12:07,476 --> 00:12:08,852
You're the Dave of the group,
297
00:12:09,144 --> 00:12:10,979
always talking about stuff
nobody cares about.
298
00:12:11,271 --> 00:12:12,105
We all care about this.
299
00:12:14,066 --> 00:12:17,319
Yes. Yes. It is a very,
very serious issues.
300
00:12:17,611 --> 00:12:20,822
And I was testing you.
You passed.
301
00:12:24,618 --> 00:12:26,036
Jane and Brad are about
to eat dinner with her ex,
302
00:12:26,328 --> 00:12:28,497
who is a girl.
Hmm.
303
00:12:28,789 --> 00:12:31,375
And Alex says Chase is
missing and bears are involved.
304
00:12:31,667 --> 00:12:35,337
Who's Chase? Who cares, Pete?
He's missing.
305
00:12:35,629 --> 00:12:39,675
Okay, look, you put in a great effort today
with my friends, and I appreciate it.
306
00:12:39,967 --> 00:12:40,926
So would you like
to go see your friends now?
307
00:12:41,218 --> 00:12:43,345
Please, yes!
308
00:12:43,637 --> 00:12:45,847
Although if we leave without
an excuse, won't they get mad
309
00:12:46,139 --> 00:12:47,099
and then, like,
ice us out of the group,
310
00:12:47,391 --> 00:12:48,392
and then everybody'll take sides
311
00:12:48,684 --> 00:12:50,644
and then it's like,
"Who gets the friends?"
312
00:12:50,936 --> 00:12:51,812
No, Penny,
because they're normal.
313
00:12:53,355 --> 00:12:54,564
Guys, we're gonna take off.
314
00:12:54,856 --> 00:12:56,066
See you later.
Bye.
315
00:12:56,358 --> 00:12:58,277
All right, see you.
Bye.
316
00:12:58,568 --> 00:12:59,778
They're not buying it.
317
00:13:03,240 --> 00:13:05,492
Guys, we must take a flight
now to Europe. Oh, boy.
318
00:13:05,784 --> 00:13:07,452
It's a diplomatic emergency.
No. Time to go.
319
00:13:07,744 --> 00:13:11,498
And I will see you all when
I'm back from the continent.
320
00:13:11,790 --> 00:13:14,167
Bye!
321
00:13:14,459 --> 00:13:18,463
Brad, I really appreciate you being
so adult about this while Ryan thing.
322
00:13:18,755 --> 00:13:20,716
Well, I'm just glad that we're
both being adult about this.
323
00:13:21,008 --> 00:13:22,509
The both of us.
324
00:13:22,801 --> 00:13:25,929
Which I'd why I've decided to
invite another adult to dinner.
325
00:13:29,808 --> 00:13:33,270
My old friend Melissa, who
also happens to be my ex.
326
00:13:33,562 --> 00:13:37,232
What?
327
00:13:41,987 --> 00:13:44,948
Okay, so you invited one of your
exes to dinner? Real adult, Brad.
328
00:13:45,240 --> 00:13:46,908
"Real adult, Brad."
329
00:13:47,200 --> 00:13:49,995
So, uh, Brad, you said this was
a business school reunion.
330
00:13:50,287 --> 00:13:52,456
Is anyone else coming?
You know how it is.
331
00:13:52,748 --> 00:13:54,958
You know, Rosen with work.
Franklin moved to England. Uh-huh.
332
00:13:55,250 --> 00:13:56,376
Chad and Lisa with the baby.
333
00:13:56,668 --> 00:13:59,087
Chad and Lisa had a baby?
I don't know. Probably.
334
00:13:59,379 --> 00:14:01,673
I just feel like we
haven't talked in forever.
335
00:14:01,965 --> 00:14:03,800
You know?
Especially for two people
336
00:14:04,092 --> 00:14:07,054
who had such a deep
emotional connection.
337
00:14:07,346 --> 00:14:08,513
I miss it.
338
00:14:08,805 --> 00:14:11,516
I can respect a bond
that happened in the past.
339
00:14:11,808 --> 00:14:14,311
Oh. Jane, you have nothing
to worry about.
340
00:14:14,603 --> 00:14:15,854
I mean, it was just a fling.
Purely physical.
341
00:14:16,855 --> 00:14:18,940
Physical?
342
00:14:19,232 --> 00:14:22,444
Totally in the past. A lot has
changed for me since then.
343
00:14:22,736 --> 00:14:24,696
Physical?
Oh, it was real physical.
344
00:14:26,531 --> 00:14:29,368
Real physical.
345
00:14:29,659 --> 00:14:31,661
Talking about sex kind of physical.
With socks off.
346
00:14:31,953 --> 00:14:32,996
Okay.
Yeah.
347
00:14:33,288 --> 00:14:34,664
And to completion
most of the time.
348
00:14:34,956 --> 00:14:36,416
Correction...
All the times.
349
00:14:37,501 --> 00:14:39,294
It was so hot.
350
00:14:39,586 --> 00:14:40,962
But I'm sure you can be an adult about it.
Right, Jane?
351
00:14:41,254 --> 00:14:42,089
Of course I can.
352
00:14:43,090 --> 00:14:44,549
Let's pick a new topic.
353
00:14:46,760 --> 00:14:49,471
Have they come up
with any new soups lately?
354
00:14:49,763 --> 00:14:51,098
Thank you
for coming to Brad and Jane's.
355
00:14:51,390 --> 00:14:53,058
I'm sorry we left
your friends early,
356
00:14:53,350 --> 00:14:57,396
but trust me, we are in for
one crazy roller coaster ride.
357
00:15:01,775 --> 00:15:03,193
Whee!
358
00:15:08,615 --> 00:15:11,576
Okay, gang, whoever
abducted Chase is here,
359
00:15:11,868 --> 00:15:14,246
and using his credit cards while
he's probably off in the desert,
360
00:15:14,538 --> 00:15:17,332
alone and scared,
begging God for death.
361
00:15:17,624 --> 00:15:18,625
The vultures are picking at him.
There he is.
362
00:15:21,545 --> 00:15:23,505
Well, well, well!
363
00:15:23,797 --> 00:15:25,298
We have been searching
all over town for you.
364
00:15:25,590 --> 00:15:27,217
Worried sick, mister.
365
00:15:27,509 --> 00:15:30,512
And we find you having a fancy steak
dinner with one of your fioozers!
366
00:15:30,804 --> 00:15:31,638
Um...
I'm sorry. Who are you?
367
00:15:31,930 --> 00:15:34,891
I'm his roommate.
And who are you, lady?
368
00:15:35,183 --> 00:15:38,019
- I'm his wife.
- Whoa.
369
00:15:38,311 --> 00:15:41,064
God. You gotta be kidding me, Chase!
A roommate?
370
00:15:41,356 --> 00:15:42,983
Are you really renting
another sex shack in the city?
371
00:15:43,275 --> 00:15:44,943
He is so cool!
372
00:15:45,235 --> 00:15:47,487
I knew you wouldn't change.
You know what?
373
00:15:47,779 --> 00:15:48,738
Now I don't feel so bad about
sleeping with your brother.
374
00:15:49,030 --> 00:15:49,656
Oh.
375
00:15:54,161 --> 00:15:57,289
Ya see...
376
00:15:57,581 --> 00:16:02,919
There's a roommate protocol, and I believe
that that leads to a sacred bond...
377
00:16:03,211 --> 00:16:04,379
Mmm-hmm. Between two
people under one...
378
00:16:04,671 --> 00:16:06,840
Yep. Uh, you see, uh, one time,
Max was caught in a well.
379
00:16:07,132 --> 00:16:08,300
I could've gotten out of that well.
Yeah, but you didn't.
380
00:16:08,592 --> 00:16:09,885
You didn't get out of it.
Wait.
381
00:16:10,177 --> 00:16:11,011
Is that my jacket?
382
00:16:17,058 --> 00:16:21,271
And that's why I think everyone's just
overreacting to the debt ceiling.
383
00:16:21,563 --> 00:16:23,690
Ugh. Speaking of the
debt ceiling...
384
00:16:23,982 --> 00:16:26,818
Mmm-hmm?
Ryan, I remember, uh,
385
00:16:27,110 --> 00:16:29,070
when you used to write me
those love notes.
386
00:16:29,362 --> 00:16:30,947
What does that have
to do with the debt ceiling?
387
00:16:31,239 --> 00:16:33,241
Shh! Bad transitions means
the excitement's about to start!
388
00:16:33,533 --> 00:16:37,329
Well, Melissa left me a lot
of notes, too. Sex notes.
389
00:16:37,621 --> 00:16:38,580
Some were even sent
through the federal mail,
390
00:16:38,872 --> 00:16:40,874
so it was basically a sex crime.
391
00:16:41,166 --> 00:16:42,834
No. No. No. That is something
completely different.
392
00:16:44,169 --> 00:16:46,505
Regardless, it was hot.
393
00:16:46,796 --> 00:16:49,925
I guess you were just pleasuring
women all over the place.
394
00:16:50,217 --> 00:16:52,177
And I guess you were just
lovin' everybody you meet!
395
00:16:52,469 --> 00:16:53,345
Here we go!
396
00:16:53,637 --> 00:16:55,555
Ooh! That's a nice deck.
397
00:16:55,847 --> 00:16:57,432
I love a good deck.
I'm gonna go check it out.
398
00:16:57,724 --> 00:16:58,850
Oh, I'll join you.
399
00:16:59,142 --> 00:17:00,519
I think we should go, too.
400
00:17:00,810 --> 00:17:02,395
What? No!
401
00:17:02,687 --> 00:17:04,147
I mean, you're probably right,
but I'm telling you,
402
00:17:04,439 --> 00:17:06,024
Max's thing is not gonna
be better than this.
403
00:17:06,316 --> 00:17:08,818
What? It was Chase's wife?
404
00:17:09,110 --> 00:17:11,196
And your place is his sex shack?
405
00:17:11,488 --> 00:17:13,323
And he works out?
This is so much better!
406
00:17:13,615 --> 00:17:15,784
Well...
407
00:17:16,076 --> 00:17:18,078
She's definitely leaving me.
408
00:17:18,370 --> 00:17:21,081
And since I work for her dad,
I've also lost my job.
409
00:17:21,373 --> 00:17:22,832
Oh, that's messed up, man.
410
00:17:23,124 --> 00:17:24,501
I bet your brother
gets that job.
411
00:17:24,793 --> 00:17:26,336
It's been a tough day.
412
00:17:26,628 --> 00:17:27,963
What do you say
we all get back home
413
00:17:28,255 --> 00:17:30,257
to that nice, buttery
leather brown couch
414
00:17:30,549 --> 00:17:31,550
and just chill out?
415
00:17:31,841 --> 00:17:33,468
No, I'm not living with you.
416
00:17:33,760 --> 00:17:35,053
Uh-huh. And I'm also
taking my stuff back.
417
00:17:36,304 --> 00:17:37,764
And just so you know...
418
00:17:39,015 --> 00:17:40,600
Sometime in the near future,
419
00:17:42,018 --> 00:17:43,853
I am going to ruin your life
420
00:17:45,063 --> 00:17:46,523
like you ruined mine.
421
00:17:54,781 --> 00:17:57,742
That guy's so cool. I know.
I'm shaking in my boots.
422
00:17:58,034 --> 00:17:59,286
Do you think that that's gonna
come back to haunt me eventually?
423
00:17:59,578 --> 00:18:01,538
No.
Yes.
424
00:18:01,830 --> 00:18:04,165
Penny, I gotta admit, your
friends are a lot of fun.
425
00:18:04,457 --> 00:18:06,960
Yay! Then it's settled. We'll
only hang out with my friends.
426
00:18:07,252 --> 00:18:08,545
Come on.
I'm kidding! I'm kidding.
427
00:18:08,837 --> 00:18:09,254
We'll hang out with your friends.
Okay.
428
00:18:09,546 --> 00:18:11,381
When mine are busy.
429
00:18:11,673 --> 00:18:14,134
Mmm.
Congratulations.
430
00:18:14,426 --> 00:18:17,095
Crack the whip, girl!
431
00:18:18,597 --> 00:18:20,307
You always said it was
just an experimental phase.
432
00:18:20,599 --> 00:18:22,851
Well, I'm sorry that I forged
such a deep connection with Ryan
433
00:18:23,143 --> 00:18:24,686
that she never got over it.
434
00:18:24,978 --> 00:18:27,230
Well, I'm sorry I gave the
good stuff to Melissa
435
00:18:27,522 --> 00:18:28,607
in a way that no man
could ever repeat!
436
00:18:30,150 --> 00:18:32,027
Oh, come on!
Is everybody a lesbian now?
437
00:18:33,903 --> 00:18:35,155
Fudge!
438
00:18:37,449 --> 00:18:38,867
Fudge! Fudge! Fudge!
439
00:18:39,159 --> 00:18:40,785
Brad, I'm so sorry.
440
00:18:42,245 --> 00:18:43,622
I mean, we could've
avoided all of this
441
00:18:43,913 --> 00:18:45,415
if I had just told you
the truth about Ryan.
442
00:18:45,707 --> 00:18:47,917
Well, I shouldn't have
gotten so upset.
443
00:18:48,209 --> 00:18:50,670
I don't know. I just thought I was gonna
hear about all the fun, sexy stuff,
444
00:18:50,962 --> 00:18:52,964
and then she said
all the love stuff,
445
00:18:53,256 --> 00:18:53,798
and I wanna be the only
person you ever loved.
446
00:18:54,674 --> 00:18:56,051
Aw! Boo!
447
00:18:58,887 --> 00:19:00,013
You're the person I love
the most,
448
00:19:01,431 --> 00:19:03,683
and I always will.
449
00:19:03,975 --> 00:19:06,311
And just so you know, sex with
Melissa wasn't even that great.
450
00:19:06,603 --> 00:19:07,520
I mean, she never really
seemed that into it.
451
00:19:09,522 --> 00:19:11,608
Oh! Right. Right.
452
00:19:11,900 --> 00:19:13,401
Yeah, she does not enjoy
my anatomy.
453
00:19:13,693 --> 00:19:14,861
Mmm-mmm.
454
00:19:15,153 --> 00:19:17,572
Hey, just to avoid
any future confusion,
455
00:19:17,864 --> 00:19:19,032
which of your other exes
were girls?
456
00:19:19,324 --> 00:19:23,119
Oh. Yeah. Well, uh,
Sydney was a girl.
457
00:19:23,411 --> 00:19:26,414
Tracy was a guy. Aaron was a girl.
Jordan was a guy.
458
00:19:26,706 --> 00:19:29,167
Lane was a girl. Uh, Morgan was...
Stop.
459
00:19:29,459 --> 00:19:31,169
Just... No more, please.
460
00:19:31,461 --> 00:19:32,379
It's just, uh...
461
00:19:32,671 --> 00:19:35,590
And Brad is a man.
462
00:19:36,841 --> 00:19:37,967
The man.
Mmm-hmm.
463
00:19:40,970 --> 00:19:41,763
My man.
464
00:19:51,439 --> 00:19:53,108
Okay, Brad, that's enough.
465
00:19:54,234 --> 00:19:55,944
Aw! Just five more minutes.
466
00:19:56,236 --> 00:19:57,487
You said that five minutes ago.
Time for bed now.
467
00:19:59,531 --> 00:20:00,740
I hate bed.
Mmm...
468
00:20:01,032 --> 00:20:01,783
Say thank you
to the nice ladies.
469
00:20:02,659 --> 00:20:03,576
Thank you, nice ladies.
470
00:20:05,370 --> 00:20:07,455
I never get to have any fun.
471
00:20:07,747 --> 00:20:09,207
Ohh. We're about to go upstairs
and have sex right now.
472
00:20:09,499 --> 00:20:10,917
Ooh! Can you check
my pants for monsters?
473
00:20:11,209 --> 00:20:12,794
I always do.
474
00:20:19,008 --> 00:20:19,968
Eyes forward.
Okay.
475
00:20:20,260 --> 00:20:21,136
Eyes forward.
Left, right.
36444
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