Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:10,301 --> 00:00:11,636
Thank God.
2
00:00:11,928 --> 00:00:13,137
It was just a dream.
3
00:00:16,265 --> 00:00:17,725
Oh, boy.
4
00:00:36,702 --> 00:00:38,371
Wow.
I've been trying to talk to her,
5
00:00:38,663 --> 00:00:41,082
but she's avoiding me.
Maybe she's busy.
6
00:00:41,374 --> 00:00:43,167
Yeah, right.
7
00:00:43,459 --> 00:00:45,628
She never has anything
going on. It's kind of sad.
8
00:00:45,920 --> 00:00:47,088
We should hook her up
with someone.
9
00:00:47,380 --> 00:00:49,715
I just slept with her.
Oh, right. Yeah.
10
00:00:50,007 --> 00:00:51,217
What if she wants
to get back together?
11
00:00:51,509 --> 00:00:53,219
What if I don't?
What if she's pregnant?
12
00:00:53,511 --> 00:00:54,637
Would we raise the baby
together?
13
00:00:54,929 --> 00:00:56,055
Would we raise the baby
as a group?
14
00:00:56,347 --> 00:00:57,598
Group baby, is that a thing?
15
00:00:57,890 --> 00:00:59,141
Hey, man. Take a knee.
16
00:00:59,433 --> 00:01:01,978
I'm sorry.
I'll just go talk to Alex.
17
00:01:02,270 --> 00:01:04,814
Oh, this is gonna be so awkward.
18
00:01:06,732 --> 00:01:08,484
Dave. Come on in.
19
00:01:08,776 --> 00:01:10,111
Cheesy crust is back.
20
00:01:10,403 --> 00:01:12,154
You gotta get in on this.
21
00:01:12,446 --> 00:01:15,616
Very cool. Um...
22
00:01:15,908 --> 00:01:17,910
So I've been trying to call you.
23
00:01:18,202 --> 00:01:19,078
You have? Oh, jeez.
24
00:01:20,121 --> 00:01:21,914
My phone has been acting
so stupid.
25
00:01:22,206 --> 00:01:23,416
I tried calling Penny
the other day,
26
00:01:23,708 --> 00:01:24,834
the lines got crossed.
27
00:01:25,126 --> 00:01:26,586
I ended up talking to a guy
named Chaz
28
00:01:26,877 --> 00:01:28,921
who tried to sell me
homemade cough drops.
29
00:01:29,213 --> 00:01:31,257
Come on, Al.
Let us not beat about the bush.
30
00:01:31,549 --> 00:01:33,759
Let's just talk like adults.
31
00:01:34,051 --> 00:01:35,803
What's up?
Ahem.
32
00:01:36,095 --> 00:01:38,639
"Many before us have faced
similar difficulties
33
00:01:38,931 --> 00:01:40,016
"in trying to interpret
34
00:01:40,308 --> 00:01:42,226
their intimate affairs."
Huh?
35
00:01:42,518 --> 00:01:44,145
"Justin Timberlake
and Jessica Biel,
36
00:01:44,437 --> 00:01:45,646
"everybody in Fleetwood Mac,
37
00:01:45,938 --> 00:01:48,190
Marty McFly and his mother."
38
00:01:48,482 --> 00:01:49,108
Look, this isn't working.
My point is
39
00:01:50,151 --> 00:01:51,652
we need to talk
about what happened.
40
00:01:51,944 --> 00:01:53,237
What happened?
We had sex.
41
00:01:53,529 --> 00:01:56,198
Yeah, a bajillion times,
but not, like, for a year.
42
00:01:56,490 --> 00:01:59,327
No. Two nights ago.
What? No, we didn't.
43
00:01:59,619 --> 00:02:01,412
Yeah, we did.
Yeah, okay, Dave,
44
00:02:01,704 --> 00:02:04,081
and Chaz's cough drops
aren't laced with ketamine.
45
00:02:06,542 --> 00:02:08,586
They are. Trust me.
I saw God.
46
00:02:08,878 --> 00:02:10,671
He's black.
47
00:02:20,848 --> 00:02:22,141
Max, are you okay?
48
00:02:22,433 --> 00:02:24,435
You barely even touched
your second mini-pie.
49
00:02:24,727 --> 00:02:26,145
Some might say I miss Grant.
50
00:02:26,437 --> 00:02:27,688
You mean you might say that?
51
00:02:27,980 --> 00:02:29,106
I might what I might, Jane.
52
00:02:29,398 --> 00:02:31,651
Max, look, with every failed
relationship
53
00:02:31,942 --> 00:02:33,611
you learn something new
about yourself.
54
00:02:33,903 --> 00:02:35,446
When I went out with
that male nurse
55
00:02:35,738 --> 00:02:38,199
I found out I still have a
soft spot for dating gay guys.
56
00:02:38,491 --> 00:02:39,784
And an actual soft spot.
57
00:02:40,076 --> 00:02:41,369
My plates never grew together.
58
00:02:41,661 --> 00:02:45,164
Well, I know what is gonna
cheer you guys up.
59
00:02:45,456 --> 00:02:47,958
Rosalita's Run this weekend.
60
00:02:48,250 --> 00:02:50,670
I think my urban scavenger
hunting days are over.
61
00:02:50,961 --> 00:02:53,422
Well, I would enter but they
said I can't participate
62
00:02:53,714 --> 00:02:55,341
because I'm too good
at scavenger hunts.
63
00:02:55,633 --> 00:02:57,843
Yeah. They call cops and charge
people with hate crimes
64
00:02:58,135 --> 00:02:59,762
when they're too good
at scavenger hunts.
65
00:03:00,054 --> 00:03:02,264
I did not push that guy out of
the way because he was French.
66
00:03:02,556 --> 00:03:06,018
I pushed him because he was
moving slow like a damn French.
67
00:03:06,310 --> 00:03:07,812
What is your problem
with our French brethren?
68
00:03:09,522 --> 00:03:10,898
I don't wanna do it this year.
We never win.
69
00:03:11,190 --> 00:03:14,110
We always come in second place
to that perfect Julie.
70
00:03:14,402 --> 00:03:16,737
Look at her, staring at us.
71
00:03:17,029 --> 00:03:18,614
She thinks she is
so much better than me.
72
00:03:18,906 --> 00:03:20,741
You haven't helped yourself
on that front, Pen.
73
00:03:27,206 --> 00:03:29,917
Penny?
Hey. Julie.
74
00:03:30,209 --> 00:03:33,170
Hey. So I'll see
you guys soon, okay?
75
00:03:33,462 --> 00:03:35,798
Ow!
76
00:03:36,090 --> 00:03:37,049
Great seeing you.
77
00:03:37,341 --> 00:03:39,135
There were 11 more doughnuts
in that box.
78
00:03:39,427 --> 00:03:40,720
Why didn't I just move on?
79
00:03:41,011 --> 00:03:43,639
Ugh! Damn it.
Five-second rule.
80
00:03:43,931 --> 00:03:45,349
One, two, three...
81
00:03:45,641 --> 00:03:46,892
Penny.
Ah! Julie.
82
00:03:47,184 --> 00:03:48,477
Just picking up pie.
Wasn't gonna eat it.
83
00:03:48,769 --> 00:03:50,271
Hello. How are you?
84
00:03:50,563 --> 00:03:54,024
As you can probably tell,
I'm pregnant with number three.
85
00:03:54,316 --> 00:03:55,735
Wow, that's so exciting.
86
00:03:56,026 --> 00:03:57,278
I mean, it won't fly
in China, but...
87
00:03:57,570 --> 00:03:58,863
It's becoming a nasty pattern.
88
00:03:59,155 --> 00:04:00,990
It's like, write a best-seller,
have a baby,
89
00:04:01,282 --> 00:04:03,159
write a best-seller,
have a baby,
90
00:04:03,451 --> 00:04:05,828
write a best-seller,
adapt the screenplay.
91
00:04:06,120 --> 00:04:07,830
Yay!
Well, success on all fronts.
92
00:04:08,122 --> 00:04:11,041
Anyway, obviously, Justin and I
can't do the run,
93
00:04:11,333 --> 00:04:14,128
so, hey, it means you and Max
will actually have a shot.
94
00:04:14,420 --> 00:04:15,880
So good luck.
95
00:04:16,172 --> 00:04:17,506
You missed a bite.
96
00:04:20,050 --> 00:04:22,136
Max, we have got to enter.
Pass.
97
00:04:22,428 --> 00:04:23,804
With Justin and Julie
not doing the race,
98
00:04:24,096 --> 00:04:25,806
we have a clear path to victory.
99
00:04:26,098 --> 00:04:27,099
We need this win.
100
00:04:27,391 --> 00:04:28,976
I mean, you coming off
your breakup
101
00:04:29,268 --> 00:04:31,771
and me about to eat
floor pie. Please.
102
00:04:32,062 --> 00:04:33,981
Better off the floor, right?
103
00:04:34,273 --> 00:04:35,524
Al, this is crazy.
104
00:04:35,816 --> 00:04:37,818
You really gonna say
we didn't sleep together?
105
00:04:38,110 --> 00:04:39,278
We didn't sleep together.
Oh, so you didn't
106
00:04:40,321 --> 00:04:42,156
come by my truck that night
to have a few drinks,
107
00:04:42,448 --> 00:04:44,825
and I didn't put my arm
around you like this,
108
00:04:45,117 --> 00:04:46,577
and we didn't start
making out furiously...
109
00:04:46,869 --> 00:04:49,622
You had a face, of course.
...before taking it to my place
110
00:04:49,914 --> 00:04:51,332
where I removed your bra
with one hand
111
00:04:51,624 --> 00:04:53,876
in under four seconds like...
112
00:04:56,170 --> 00:04:57,296
Clearly, none of that happened.
113
00:04:57,588 --> 00:04:59,381
This mannequin
is not regulation.
114
00:04:59,673 --> 00:05:00,674
Whatever.
Come on, Al.
115
00:05:00,966 --> 00:05:02,134
Remember we did
the whole kiss-walk
116
00:05:02,426 --> 00:05:04,053
stumbly thing to my bed
117
00:05:04,345 --> 00:05:06,639
and then you did that thing
where you take one leg up...
118
00:05:06,931 --> 00:05:08,516
Dave!
119
00:05:08,808 --> 00:05:10,017
Leave Skyler out of this.
120
00:05:10,309 --> 00:05:12,269
If you didn't sleep with me,
where were you?
121
00:05:12,561 --> 00:05:13,896
I'll tell you where.
122
00:05:14,188 --> 00:05:15,648
With Brad and Jane,
watching Mamma Mia!
123
00:05:15,940 --> 00:05:17,566
Then you won't mind
if I talk to them.
124
00:05:17,858 --> 00:05:19,735
Not at all.
125
00:05:27,535 --> 00:05:28,619
Okay, everyone.
126
00:05:28,911 --> 00:05:32,248
Are you ready
for the Rosalita's Run?
127
00:05:32,540 --> 00:05:33,707
Scotty's reffing?
128
00:05:33,999 --> 00:05:35,292
Isn't he a little wonky
in the think meat?
129
00:05:35,584 --> 00:05:37,628
He's messed up,
but he already had the outfit
130
00:05:37,920 --> 00:05:39,713
since he pulled
that Foot Locker heist.
131
00:05:40,005 --> 00:05:42,424
This year's theme:
"Chicago movies."
132
00:05:42,716 --> 00:05:44,218
Yes! This is great.
133
00:05:44,510 --> 00:05:46,720
No Julie and a theme
we can crush?
134
00:05:47,012 --> 00:05:49,223
All those summers interning
at the John Hughes Museum
135
00:05:49,515 --> 00:05:50,641
are finally gonna pay off.
136
00:05:50,933 --> 00:05:52,184
I don't know
how to tell you this.
137
00:05:52,476 --> 00:05:54,311
There is no such thing
as the John Hughes Museum.
138
00:05:54,603 --> 00:05:56,063
Okay, Max, then I guess
139
00:05:56,355 --> 00:05:58,107
I just went to my softball
coach's basement every day
140
00:05:58,399 --> 00:05:59,525
for three summers
to watch movies...
141
00:05:59,817 --> 00:06:01,902
Oh, my God.
Yeah.
142
00:06:02,194 --> 00:06:04,363
- Wait for us.
- Doc cleared us to enter.
143
00:06:04,655 --> 00:06:06,240
Guess this little lady
refuses to come out
144
00:06:06,532 --> 00:06:08,617
until Mommy wins her
that trophy. Yay!
145
00:06:08,909 --> 00:06:11,453
You'd think baby number three
would just fall right out. Yay!
146
00:06:11,745 --> 00:06:14,039
Okay, you guys. Once I blow out
these 16 candles,
147
00:06:14,331 --> 00:06:16,500
I... Oh, I get it.
Sixteen Candles.
148
00:06:16,792 --> 00:06:18,168
Once I blow these out,
149
00:06:18,460 --> 00:06:19,920
it's time to look
for your first clue.
150
00:06:20,212 --> 00:06:22,006
Oh, and if anybody runs
across a ferret
151
00:06:22,298 --> 00:06:25,217
that answers to the name
of Roy, don't touch him.
152
00:06:25,509 --> 00:06:26,802
Let him die.
What?
153
00:06:27,094 --> 00:06:29,096
Happy hunting, everybody.
154
00:06:31,056 --> 00:06:34,101
Max, you're supposed to use
your hands to find the clue.
155
00:06:35,811 --> 00:06:37,479
Actually, Penny,
I'm much quicker with my mouth
156
00:06:37,771 --> 00:06:39,064
than I am with my hands.
157
00:06:39,356 --> 00:06:41,692
That's why I can speak faster
than do sign language.
158
00:06:41,984 --> 00:06:43,110
It's a valet ticket.
Let's go!
159
00:06:44,445 --> 00:06:45,863
Max, please.
160
00:06:46,155 --> 00:06:47,907
I wanna make sure
there's no more clues in here.
161
00:06:49,825 --> 00:06:51,577
Hey, man.
You are never gonna believe it.
162
00:06:51,869 --> 00:06:53,329
I confronted Alex.
163
00:06:53,621 --> 00:06:54,955
She denied the whole thing.
What?
164
00:06:55,247 --> 00:06:56,624
Yeah, but I caught her in a lie
165
00:06:56,916 --> 00:06:59,209
because she says she was here
with you and Jane
166
00:06:59,501 --> 00:07:00,544
watching Mamma Mia!
167
00:07:00,836 --> 00:07:02,838
I wish.
I love that movie.
168
00:07:03,130 --> 00:07:04,715
But, no, we weren't even home.
169
00:07:05,007 --> 00:07:06,091
We were home, Brad. Yeah.
170
00:07:06,383 --> 00:07:07,927
Alex came over,
we watched the movie,
171
00:07:08,218 --> 00:07:09,678
got in sweats,
ordered Thai food,
172
00:07:09,970 --> 00:07:11,305
made popcorn, and then
173
00:07:11,597 --> 00:07:13,307
we decided to get under
the faux chinchilla blanket
174
00:07:13,599 --> 00:07:15,768
because you said,
"It's chin-chilly in here."
175
00:07:16,060 --> 00:07:19,146
That does sound like me.
This happens a lot, man.
176
00:07:19,438 --> 00:07:20,522
Sometimes I'm sure
I did something
177
00:07:20,814 --> 00:07:22,399
then I find out
it never happened at all.
178
00:07:22,691 --> 00:07:24,443
It's weird, but it's my life.
179
00:07:25,486 --> 00:07:27,363
- That sounds bad.
- No.
180
00:07:27,655 --> 00:07:29,657
That's just some of Brad's cute
little forget-ums, huh?
181
00:07:29,949 --> 00:07:32,451
- I be forgetting.
- But remember?
182
00:07:32,743 --> 00:07:34,828
You made me go to the video
store to get the movie
183
00:07:35,120 --> 00:07:36,497
because you couldn't wait
for Netflix?
184
00:07:36,789 --> 00:07:39,249
You said you were jonesing
for some Streep.
185
00:07:39,541 --> 00:07:42,044
That is something
I would jones for,
186
00:07:42,336 --> 00:07:43,754
especially in a lighter role.
187
00:07:44,046 --> 00:07:46,006
I love when Mare Bear
lets herself laugh, you know?
188
00:07:46,298 --> 00:07:47,633
Have you seen Julie & Julia?
189
00:07:47,925 --> 00:07:49,343
When she talks like this?
190
00:07:49,635 --> 00:07:50,803
I can't take it.
191
00:07:51,095 --> 00:07:52,137
So good.
192
00:07:52,429 --> 00:07:54,807
Boo, maybe we should
get you checked out.
193
00:07:55,099 --> 00:07:57,101
Right? No? Hmm?
194
00:07:57,393 --> 00:08:00,646
Yes. We're gonna get you
checked out. Okay.
195
00:08:00,938 --> 00:08:03,148
Come on. There's no way
you were with Alex that night.
196
00:08:03,440 --> 00:08:04,858
Maybe I was, man.
197
00:08:05,150 --> 00:08:06,402
My forget-ums
have been getting worse.
198
00:08:08,696 --> 00:08:10,572
What if I've done something
terrible and don't remember?
199
00:08:10,864 --> 00:08:12,241
What if I, like, killed a farmer
200
00:08:12,533 --> 00:08:14,284
and the ghost is hunting
me down in revenge?
201
00:08:14,576 --> 00:08:15,619
Do you even know a farmer?
202
00:08:15,911 --> 00:08:17,871
Oh, my God.
I don't remember.
203
00:08:22,418 --> 00:08:23,627
Hey, buddy.
204
00:08:23,919 --> 00:08:25,671
Do you know what we're supposed
to do with this?
205
00:08:27,589 --> 00:08:28,799
Danke Schoen.
206
00:08:29,091 --> 00:08:30,884
Okay.
"Danke Schoen." Ferris Bueller.
207
00:08:31,176 --> 00:08:33,137
Yes.
Was Grant's favorite movie.
208
00:08:33,429 --> 00:08:36,306
Please. Please,
pull it toge... Oh, my God.
209
00:08:36,598 --> 00:08:38,976
Did you play the valet guy
in Ferris Bueller's?
210
00:08:39,268 --> 00:08:40,894
I didn't play the valet guy.
211
00:08:41,186 --> 00:08:42,813
I am a valet guy.
212
00:08:43,105 --> 00:08:45,024
I did that as a personal favor
to John Hughes
213
00:08:45,315 --> 00:08:46,483
because I used to park his car.
214
00:08:46,775 --> 00:08:49,611
Parking cars is my passion.
215
00:08:49,903 --> 00:08:51,780
Showbiz is for the birds.
216
00:08:52,072 --> 00:08:54,366
Neat.
Cool.
217
00:08:54,658 --> 00:08:58,954
Did not hear that
on the DVD commentary.
218
00:08:59,246 --> 00:09:01,206
Dave and Brad don't suspect
a thing.
219
00:09:01,498 --> 00:09:03,167
Thank you, Jane.
What was I thinking?
220
00:09:03,459 --> 00:09:04,960
I should have never slept
with Dave.
221
00:09:05,252 --> 00:09:07,546
Don't worry.
Everyone has accepted
222
00:09:07,838 --> 00:09:09,298
the new reality.
223
00:09:09,590 --> 00:09:12,176
Whoa. It's like
there's an alternate reality.
224
00:09:12,468 --> 00:09:13,719
What if that reality kept going
225
00:09:14,011 --> 00:09:15,471
and there's another Alex
living there?
226
00:09:15,763 --> 00:09:17,556
Heh. Whatever.
227
00:09:17,848 --> 00:09:19,391
I bet she can't krump
like I can.
228
00:09:29,234 --> 00:09:31,695
Oh, God.
This isn't working.
229
00:09:31,987 --> 00:09:33,739
I just can't krump away
this guilt I have
230
00:09:34,031 --> 00:09:35,074
for deceiving Dave.
231
00:09:35,365 --> 00:09:36,825
You're not deceiving him.
232
00:09:37,117 --> 00:09:39,328
All you're doing is altering
his perception of reality.
233
00:09:39,620 --> 00:09:42,206
It's the Kerkovich way.
It's just like Mom taught us.
234
00:09:42,498 --> 00:09:43,624
Flood the target.
Target?
235
00:09:43,916 --> 00:09:45,334
Mark, victim, loved one,
whatever.
236
00:09:45,626 --> 00:09:47,711
You flood them
with specific details
237
00:09:48,003 --> 00:09:49,588
until they question
their own memories enough
238
00:09:49,880 --> 00:09:51,965
to accept our stories
as truth. Heh-heh.
239
00:09:52,257 --> 00:09:53,425
No, but this seems wrong.
240
00:09:53,717 --> 00:09:55,052
The Kerkovich way is survival.
241
00:09:55,344 --> 00:09:57,805
Where would great-
great-grandmammy Senka be
242
00:09:58,097 --> 00:09:59,389
if she hadn't used it
in the old country?
243
00:10:19,576 --> 00:10:21,578
She saved a whole village, okay?
244
00:10:21,870 --> 00:10:23,038
And that village went on
245
00:10:23,330 --> 00:10:26,375
to produce three famous
Olympic gymnasts
246
00:10:26,667 --> 00:10:27,876
And Slobodan Milosevic.
247
00:10:28,168 --> 00:10:29,753
But that was so long ago.
248
00:10:30,045 --> 00:10:32,798
That's, like... Twenty-seven...
Wait, let's see.
249
00:10:33,090 --> 00:10:34,591
I graduated high school in '01.
250
00:10:34,883 --> 00:10:37,761
We must see this through,
little devojka, okay?
251
00:10:38,053 --> 00:10:39,471
I already Kerkovich-wayed
Brad for you.
252
00:10:39,763 --> 00:10:42,182
If he finds out
about our methods,
253
00:10:42,474 --> 00:10:44,393
it will ruin me.
You do this to him often?
254
00:10:44,685 --> 00:10:47,855
Let's just say he's one MRI away
from a free MRI.
255
00:10:48,147 --> 00:10:51,275
Okay, Jane lent me the teddy cam
for truck security.
256
00:10:51,567 --> 00:10:53,277
She also tried to give me
one of her guns.
257
00:10:53,569 --> 00:10:55,237
One of her whats?
Anyway, this should have proof
258
00:10:55,529 --> 00:10:56,572
that I was with Alex.
259
00:10:56,864 --> 00:10:58,240
Here I am working.
260
00:10:58,532 --> 00:10:59,700
There is a knock at the door.
261
00:10:59,992 --> 00:11:01,910
I turn, and there is Alex.
262
00:11:02,202 --> 00:11:04,079
Whoa!
263
00:11:04,371 --> 00:11:06,248
Here I am coming back
to the truck next morning.
264
00:11:06,540 --> 00:11:07,958
What the hell?
265
00:11:08,250 --> 00:11:09,751
Oh, my God.
Jane got to the bear.
266
00:11:10,043 --> 00:11:11,336
Or Alex.
267
00:11:11,628 --> 00:11:13,630
Same Alex that thinks
the computer and TV are friends?
268
00:11:13,922 --> 00:11:15,924
Oh, my God.
Jane got to the bear.
269
00:11:16,216 --> 00:11:17,801
We just have to scan this
rewards card.
270
00:11:18,093 --> 00:11:20,596
Penny, wait. I wanna do it.
I like the beep.
271
00:11:22,931 --> 00:11:24,683
"Thank you for shopping
with us, Mr. Goodsen."
272
00:11:24,975 --> 00:11:26,059
Mr. Goodsen.
Joel Goodsen.
273
00:11:26,351 --> 00:11:27,352
Risky Business.
Yes!
274
00:11:27,644 --> 00:11:29,980
Okay. Was Risky Business
275
00:11:30,272 --> 00:11:31,607
also one
of Grant's favorite movies?
276
00:11:31,899 --> 00:11:33,609
No, but he does own
his own business
277
00:11:33,901 --> 00:11:35,194
and ride a bike
to said business,
278
00:11:35,485 --> 00:11:38,071
which is very risky.
I can't do this, Penny.
279
00:11:38,363 --> 00:11:40,199
Please just focus, okay?
What does this mean?
280
00:11:40,490 --> 00:11:42,784
Don't forget
the egg special in Aisle 3.
281
00:11:43,076 --> 00:11:44,077
Find the crystal egg.
282
00:11:44,369 --> 00:11:45,495
Find the crystal egg.
Yes.
283
00:11:46,955 --> 00:11:48,248
Could you just hit it again?
284
00:11:52,085 --> 00:11:54,421
Okay. Crystal egg. Ah!
285
00:11:54,713 --> 00:11:56,673
I hope you're getting
used to second place.
286
00:11:56,965 --> 00:11:59,593
Justin will find the clue.
His specialty is targeting eggs.
287
00:11:59,885 --> 00:12:01,386
You know, three for three.
288
00:12:03,347 --> 00:12:07,142
Well, get ready to eat dust
for two, big mama.
289
00:12:07,434 --> 00:12:10,771
"Go to Emma's Diner
to avoid Saturday detention"?
290
00:12:11,063 --> 00:12:12,648
Saturday detention.
The Breakfast Club.
291
00:12:12,940 --> 00:12:14,483
Emma's Diner has a breakfast
club sandwich.
292
00:12:14,775 --> 00:12:16,026
This is it. Year of Penny.
293
00:12:16,318 --> 00:12:18,028
The year's been over
for a couple months.
294
00:12:18,320 --> 00:12:20,364
Well, not the fiscal year
of Penny.
295
00:12:20,656 --> 00:12:21,949
Suck it, taxpayers.
296
00:12:22,241 --> 00:12:23,951
You wiped Barnaby's mind
297
00:12:24,243 --> 00:12:25,494
just like you're trying to do
to me.
298
00:12:25,786 --> 00:12:27,913
What are you talking about?
Are you okay?
299
00:12:28,205 --> 00:12:29,331
I am concerned about you.
300
00:12:29,623 --> 00:12:30,999
Are you concerned about me, huh?
301
00:12:31,291 --> 00:12:33,752
Or are you concerned
I'm gonna prove you were lying?
302
00:12:34,044 --> 00:12:37,214
Because if we had Thai food,
as you "claim",
303
00:12:37,506 --> 00:12:39,091
then I would have a receipt
still in my wallet,
304
00:12:39,383 --> 00:12:40,467
since I don't file my receipts
305
00:12:40,759 --> 00:12:42,636
until the end of the week.
306
00:12:42,928 --> 00:12:44,930
Aha!
Aha!
307
00:12:45,222 --> 00:12:47,474
Wait.
308
00:12:47,766 --> 00:12:49,101
It's a receipt.
What?
309
00:12:49,393 --> 00:12:50,477
For Thai food
310
00:12:50,769 --> 00:12:52,354
that we ordered on Thursday.
311
00:12:52,646 --> 00:12:53,855
Well...
312
00:12:54,147 --> 00:12:55,607
You know what? Fine.
313
00:12:55,899 --> 00:12:58,652
But if we used our faux throw
as you say we did,
314
00:12:58,944 --> 00:13:00,487
then I will still
have chinchilla fur
315
00:13:00,779 --> 00:13:03,573
on my sweatpants.
On his sweatpants.
316
00:13:03,865 --> 00:13:05,033
Aha!
317
00:13:05,325 --> 00:13:06,702
Aha!
318
00:13:06,994 --> 00:13:09,454
Wait.
Karen's been chinchilla'd.
319
00:13:09,746 --> 00:13:11,832
You named your sweatpants?
I name what I name.
320
00:13:12,124 --> 00:13:13,375
Just so you know,
321
00:13:13,667 --> 00:13:15,252
I scheduled you a consultation
with Dr. Wu.
322
00:13:15,544 --> 00:13:16,670
No.
323
00:13:16,962 --> 00:13:18,380
You said we had popcorn
that night, right?
324
00:13:18,672 --> 00:13:20,090
Hm-mm.
Whenever I have popcorn,
325
00:13:20,382 --> 00:13:22,884
I always get the little kernels
stuck in my chompers.
326
00:13:23,176 --> 00:13:25,554
Ah...
Ah...
327
00:13:25,846 --> 00:13:26,847
Nothing.
328
00:13:27,139 --> 00:13:28,348
There's nothing.
329
00:13:28,640 --> 00:13:30,309
Aha!
Aha!
330
00:13:30,600 --> 00:13:32,894
Hold up. That's a husk.
That is a husk.
331
00:13:33,186 --> 00:13:34,730
I hope you're satisfied.
332
00:13:35,022 --> 00:13:36,189
Hey, how did you...?
333
00:13:36,481 --> 00:13:37,941
But...
334
00:13:38,233 --> 00:13:40,360
But...
Where did you get that?
335
00:13:40,652 --> 00:13:42,195
We're catsitting
for the Carters.
336
00:13:42,487 --> 00:13:43,530
I told you that.
337
00:13:45,324 --> 00:13:46,825
Is it possible
I imagined the whole thing?
338
00:13:47,868 --> 00:13:50,996
I don't know, but I'll say this:
Even though tomorrow
339
00:13:51,288 --> 00:13:54,708
I may have no recollection
of what we did in here,
340
00:13:55,000 --> 00:13:57,627
I will always remember it
in here.
341
00:13:57,919 --> 00:13:59,963
We had a good run, didn't we?
Sure did, man.
342
00:14:00,255 --> 00:14:02,341
Bring it in, big fella.
All right.
343
00:14:02,632 --> 00:14:04,259
Uh...
344
00:14:04,551 --> 00:14:05,761
Can I help you, dudes?
345
00:14:06,053 --> 00:14:08,472
Yeah, man.
I'm just gonna return this DVD
346
00:14:08,764 --> 00:14:10,349
and pay the late fee.
347
00:14:10,640 --> 00:14:12,267
You know women
and Mamma Mia!,
348
00:14:12,559 --> 00:14:14,269
can't tear it away from them.
349
00:14:14,561 --> 00:14:17,230
There is no late fee.
No late fee?
350
00:14:17,522 --> 00:14:18,648
My wife rented this
three days ago
351
00:14:18,940 --> 00:14:20,317
because she loves it so much,
352
00:14:20,609 --> 00:14:22,444
whereas I'm partial to karate
and brief nudity.
353
00:14:22,736 --> 00:14:24,613
I don't know what to tell you.
There's no late fee.
354
00:14:24,905 --> 00:14:27,824
- It was rented this morning.
- Aha!
355
00:14:31,828 --> 00:14:35,165
Okay. The egg's almost done.
We are gonna win this thing.
356
00:14:35,457 --> 00:14:37,584
Max, what are you doing?
Grant loved bacon.
357
00:14:37,876 --> 00:14:39,836
What?
Can't even enjoy it anymore.
358
00:14:40,128 --> 00:14:41,546
Snap out of it.
You can't get sad
359
00:14:41,838 --> 00:14:42,923
every time
you think about bacon.
360
00:14:43,215 --> 00:14:44,633
Bacon's gonna come up a lot
for you.
361
00:14:44,925 --> 00:14:46,551
I know.
362
00:14:46,843 --> 00:14:48,720
Well, look who decided
to finally show up.
363
00:14:49,012 --> 00:14:50,055
Took you long enough.
364
00:14:50,347 --> 00:14:52,516
You're slow,
just like your baby.
365
00:14:52,808 --> 00:14:53,809
Oh, my God.
I didn't mean that.
366
00:14:54,101 --> 00:14:55,560
I meant
because your baby's late.
367
00:14:55,852 --> 00:14:58,814
But I think your baby is gonna
be super fast and awesome.
368
00:14:59,106 --> 00:15:01,358
No. No!
This is my time to shine!
369
00:15:01,650 --> 00:15:02,901
Unh. Oh, my God.
370
00:15:03,193 --> 00:15:04,486
I think I'm going into labor.
What?
371
00:15:04,778 --> 00:15:05,862
Our perfect miracle's coming.
372
00:15:06,154 --> 00:15:07,697
Get your Bobby Kennedy hands
off me.
373
00:15:07,989 --> 00:15:09,324
Unh!
Okay. What can I do to help?
374
00:15:09,616 --> 00:15:11,368
Chair.
375
00:15:13,412 --> 00:15:15,497
Justin, sandwich me.
376
00:15:15,789 --> 00:15:17,999
What are you doing?
But that's my egg!
377
00:15:18,291 --> 00:15:19,709
I'm sure you froze
some of your own,
378
00:15:20,001 --> 00:15:22,295
but in case you didn't,
good luck.
379
00:15:22,587 --> 00:15:25,674
No!
380
00:15:43,275 --> 00:15:46,194
Well,
381
00:15:46,486 --> 00:15:47,737
you lose some,
you lose some, right?
382
00:15:48,029 --> 00:15:50,782
Oh! Nothing ever changes.
383
00:15:51,074 --> 00:15:52,325
Julie will always be a winner.
384
00:15:52,617 --> 00:15:55,495
I will always be a loser.
Let's just go home.
385
00:15:58,081 --> 00:15:59,541
I didn't wanna do this,
but I will.
386
00:15:59,833 --> 00:16:01,209
Penny, we are not going out
like this.
387
00:16:01,501 --> 00:16:04,171
Me crying about Grant,
you crying about your stuff.
388
00:16:04,463 --> 00:16:07,007
I wasn't paying attention.
This is our John Hughes film,
389
00:16:07,299 --> 00:16:08,717
and those two
are clearly the bad guys,
390
00:16:09,009 --> 00:16:10,427
one being little and blond
and fit,
391
00:16:10,719 --> 00:16:11,887
the other looking
like Greg Kinnear,
392
00:16:12,179 --> 00:16:13,805
they are so clearly not Jewish.
393
00:16:14,097 --> 00:16:16,933
I don't need to tell you this.
You are the assistant curator
394
00:16:17,225 --> 00:16:18,894
to the original
John Hughes Museum,
395
00:16:19,186 --> 00:16:20,687
which,
for purpose of this pep talk,
396
00:16:20,979 --> 00:16:22,314
I will choose to believe
is a real thing
397
00:16:22,606 --> 00:16:24,191
and not the first act
of an after school special.
398
00:16:24,483 --> 00:16:26,610
Thank you.
You're welcome.
399
00:16:26,902 --> 00:16:29,404
Pick up the egg. Let's go.
Okay, okay, okay.
400
00:16:29,696 --> 00:16:31,364
These WASPs are gonna beat us.
401
00:16:31,656 --> 00:16:33,575
To the Kerkovich way.
402
00:16:33,867 --> 00:16:35,202
Dave will never know the truth.
403
00:16:35,494 --> 00:16:37,996
The movie was rented today!
404
00:16:38,288 --> 00:16:39,873
I slept with Dave.
Alex.
405
00:16:40,165 --> 00:16:41,500
I knew it.
Admit it, Jane.
406
00:16:41,791 --> 00:16:43,335
It was all a cover-up.
407
00:16:45,170 --> 00:16:48,632
Fine. It was a cover-up.
Yeah.
408
00:16:48,924 --> 00:16:51,468
Alex made up a story,
I gave it life,
409
00:16:51,760 --> 00:16:54,638
and it was beautiful.
410
00:16:54,930 --> 00:16:57,390
First,
I took your precious Karen
411
00:16:57,682 --> 00:16:58,808
while you were in the shower
412
00:16:59,100 --> 00:17:01,520
and I planted the faux fur.
413
00:17:01,811 --> 00:17:05,148
Then I traced Pattaya That's
logo on receipt paper,
414
00:17:05,440 --> 00:17:07,442
typed up take-out orders,
forged your signature
415
00:17:07,734 --> 00:17:10,529
before putting it all
in your wallet.
416
00:17:10,820 --> 00:17:12,739
Then my signature moment,
417
00:17:13,031 --> 00:17:14,741
one that will rival
Grandma Senka
418
00:17:15,033 --> 00:17:16,451
in Kerkovich history.
419
00:17:18,537 --> 00:17:23,083
The insertion of the popcorn
while you were sleeping.
420
00:17:25,794 --> 00:17:28,171
And I would have gotten away
with it too,
421
00:17:28,463 --> 00:17:31,007
if it weren't for Aleksandra.
422
00:17:40,183 --> 00:17:42,852
This is hot.
Right? It is hot.
423
00:17:43,144 --> 00:17:44,604
"To get to Rosalita's,
424
00:17:44,896 --> 00:17:47,023
take this untouchable
means of transportation."
425
00:17:47,315 --> 00:17:48,567
Baby carriages,
426
00:17:48,858 --> 00:17:50,527
from the train station scene
in The Untouchables.
427
00:17:50,819 --> 00:17:52,779
Oh, shopping carts.
Grant and I'd
428
00:17:53,071 --> 00:17:54,906
go to the supermarket and
play Supermarket Sweep.
429
00:17:55,198 --> 00:17:57,909
You really miss him, don't you?
Not everything's about Grant.
430
00:17:58,201 --> 00:18:00,036
I just happen to be great
at picking a winning cart.
431
00:18:00,328 --> 00:18:01,705
Okay.
A-bup-bup-bup!
432
00:18:01,997 --> 00:18:04,165
That one's got a fish wheel.
Ugh!
433
00:18:04,457 --> 00:18:05,542
You gotta let the cart pick you.
434
00:18:05,834 --> 00:18:08,378
This one's telling me
not to pick it.
435
00:18:08,670 --> 00:18:10,297
Ooh.
She's got some nice ride.
436
00:18:10,589 --> 00:18:12,132
But something bad happened
in here.
437
00:18:12,424 --> 00:18:13,800
Are you serious right now?
A hate crime.
438
00:18:14,092 --> 00:18:16,219
A baby committed a hate crime
on another baby.
439
00:18:16,511 --> 00:18:18,096
This one.
440
00:18:18,388 --> 00:18:19,764
This war horse is born to run.
441
00:18:20,056 --> 00:18:22,225
Yes, she is! Yes!
442
00:18:24,978 --> 00:18:26,730
What a graceful swan of a lady.
443
00:18:27,022 --> 00:18:28,148
You went through
a lot of trouble
444
00:18:28,440 --> 00:18:29,566
to pretend
we didn't sleep together.
445
00:18:29,858 --> 00:18:31,318
Are you really that upset
about it?
446
00:18:31,610 --> 00:18:34,321
No, but we're in such a great
place right now as friends
447
00:18:34,613 --> 00:18:37,157
and that's important to me,
and then this happened.
448
00:18:37,449 --> 00:18:40,118
I just wasn't ready to open
that rabbit hole.
449
00:18:40,410 --> 00:18:41,911
Go down that rabbit hole.
450
00:18:42,203 --> 00:18:44,914
Oh, Dave, clean it up.
451
00:18:45,206 --> 00:18:47,042
Anyway, I guess
for the sake of friendship,
452
00:18:47,334 --> 00:18:48,710
I was afraid to talk about it.
453
00:18:50,003 --> 00:18:52,464
Talk about what?
Us having sex.
454
00:18:52,756 --> 00:18:54,215
We didn't have sex.
455
00:18:54,507 --> 00:18:56,092
Dave, you literally spent
two full days
456
00:18:56,384 --> 00:18:58,720
trying to get me to admit...
457
00:18:59,012 --> 00:18:59,971
Oh...
458
00:19:00,263 --> 00:19:01,640
Oh...
459
00:19:02,932 --> 00:19:04,684
Thanks.
You're welcome.
460
00:19:07,896 --> 00:19:09,147
Go, go!
461
00:19:11,441 --> 00:19:14,486
How did you
know I froze my eggs?
462
00:19:14,778 --> 00:19:17,280
Oh, she just kicked.
She can feel us winning.
463
00:19:18,948 --> 00:19:20,575
Go, go!
464
00:19:20,867 --> 00:19:23,828
Faster! Hyah! Hyah!
465
00:19:24,120 --> 00:19:26,790
Aah! Go, go, go!
466
00:19:27,082 --> 00:19:29,501
I should have eaten more bacon.
467
00:19:36,299 --> 00:19:37,384
Face it, Penny.
468
00:19:37,676 --> 00:19:39,302
You will always be second best.
469
00:19:39,594 --> 00:19:41,596
People read your books
on the toilet!
470
00:19:42,931 --> 00:19:44,891
No!
471
00:19:46,893 --> 00:19:48,937
Something's going
wrong with their wheel.
472
00:20:02,450 --> 00:20:05,161
No!
473
00:20:05,453 --> 00:20:07,914
Yes! Whoo!
474
00:20:08,206 --> 00:20:10,792
Yes! We did it!
475
00:20:11,084 --> 00:20:12,585
Life moves pretty fast.
476
00:20:12,877 --> 00:20:14,754
If you don't stop and look
around, you could miss it.
477
00:20:15,046 --> 00:20:16,214
Who you talking to?
Scotty.
478
00:20:16,506 --> 00:20:17,757
Hey. Congrats, you guys.
479
00:20:18,049 --> 00:20:19,175
Here's your trophy
480
00:20:19,467 --> 00:20:20,218
plus a whole bunch
of Foot Locker key chains
481
00:20:21,261 --> 00:20:23,638
and one of these metal things
they use to measure your feet.
482
00:20:23,930 --> 00:20:26,015
Nice size 10s.
How did you know that?
483
00:20:26,307 --> 00:20:28,727
I'm into feet. Big feet.
484
00:20:29,018 --> 00:20:30,061
Ew. Ew. Gross.
485
00:20:30,353 --> 00:20:31,563
Awesome.
You're welcome.
486
00:20:31,855 --> 00:20:35,900
All right, you two,
let's smile for the camera.
487
00:20:41,823 --> 00:20:43,074
Babe, I am so sorry.
488
00:20:43,366 --> 00:20:45,660
I will never Kerkovich-way
you again.
489
00:20:47,036 --> 00:20:48,163
What can I do
to make it up to you?
490
00:20:49,914 --> 00:20:51,583
I'll get you ice cream.
491
00:20:54,836 --> 00:20:56,880
I'll let you eat it in bed...
492
00:20:59,466 --> 00:21:02,010
...off my body...
493
00:21:04,387 --> 00:21:06,014
...while we listen
494
00:21:06,306 --> 00:21:08,808
to your favorite
Steve Martin banjo album...
495
00:21:09,100 --> 00:21:10,268
Hmm?
496
00:21:13,062 --> 00:21:15,023
...every night
for the next week?
497
00:21:15,315 --> 00:21:17,275
Month? Year?
498
00:21:18,735 --> 00:21:20,487
You stay here.
I'll be right back.
499
00:21:22,197 --> 00:21:24,741
Guilt trips, my feline friend,
500
00:21:25,033 --> 00:21:26,534
that's the Williams way.
36474
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof