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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,918 --> 00:00:04,629 Guys. Come on. Tell me you're not still trying to figure out 2 00:00:04,921 --> 00:00:06,964 if the girl at the newsstand is Claire Forlani. 3 00:00:07,256 --> 00:00:09,634 Nah, it was just a teenage boy with long hair. 4 00:00:09,926 --> 00:00:12,261 We're watching Max and Grant finish up their date. 5 00:00:12,553 --> 00:00:13,679 Aww. 6 00:00:13,971 --> 00:00:16,265 Ooh, bow-chicka-bow-wow. Right? 7 00:00:16,557 --> 00:00:17,934 Come on. 8 00:00:18,226 --> 00:00:20,978 You guys always leave me hanging with the sexy sound effects. 9 00:00:21,270 --> 00:00:22,813 Oh! Kiss time. 10 00:00:23,105 --> 00:00:26,692 Ooh, bow-chicka-bow-wow. 11 00:00:26,984 --> 00:00:28,903 Nothing? Pretty sexy fist bump, though. 12 00:00:29,195 --> 00:00:32,406 Bow-chicka-bow-wow. 13 00:00:32,698 --> 00:00:33,991 I hate you guys. 14 00:00:34,283 --> 00:00:35,409 I cannot believe Max has been 15 00:00:35,701 --> 00:00:37,453 in a healthy relationship for this long. 16 00:00:37,745 --> 00:00:39,497 Two weeks? I know. Amazing. 17 00:00:39,789 --> 00:00:42,416 Guys, Max is not the only one in a healthy relaish. 18 00:00:42,708 --> 00:00:44,710 Things with Sean have gotten really serious. 19 00:00:45,002 --> 00:00:45,962 He's a pharmacist. 20 00:00:46,254 --> 00:00:47,463 Hey! 21 00:00:47,755 --> 00:00:50,174 Hey, hey. So how did it go? Really great. 22 00:00:50,466 --> 00:00:52,843 I don't know. It could have gone terrible. 23 00:00:53,135 --> 00:00:54,053 I called appetizers mappetizers. 24 00:00:55,096 --> 00:00:56,305 I spent the rest of the date 25 00:00:56,597 --> 00:00:58,349 wondering if he heard that or if he cared. 26 00:00:58,641 --> 00:01:00,685 I'm gonna text to make sure everything's cool. 27 00:01:00,977 --> 00:01:03,729 Can you proofread this text? Max, I say just leave it. 28 00:01:04,021 --> 00:01:05,022 If you want to bring it up, 29 00:01:05,314 --> 00:01:06,774 you'll find the perfect mopening. 30 00:01:07,066 --> 00:01:09,193 Yeah, maybe he didn't even motice. 31 00:01:09,485 --> 00:01:10,778 This is no time for jokes, guys, 32 00:01:11,070 --> 00:01:13,197 especially when I'm the fattest I've ever been. 33 00:01:13,489 --> 00:01:15,241 How could you let me out looking this fat? 34 00:01:15,533 --> 00:01:17,285 We didn't have a choice. It's your body. 35 00:01:17,577 --> 00:01:19,912 Wow, I have never seen you this nervous. 36 00:01:20,204 --> 00:01:23,124 You must really like this guy. Yeah. He's amazing. 37 00:01:23,416 --> 00:01:26,210 Which is where you come in by not ruining everything. 38 00:01:26,502 --> 00:01:28,296 If you're happy, we're happy. Shut up. 39 00:01:28,588 --> 00:01:30,464 We like to razz on each other's boyfriends. 40 00:01:30,756 --> 00:01:32,466 I may have done it, but Grant is awesome. 41 00:01:32,758 --> 00:01:34,510 He's different than the freaks you date. 42 00:01:34,802 --> 00:01:35,928 Hey. Not cool. 43 00:01:36,220 --> 00:01:37,597 He's right. It's not been great. 44 00:01:37,888 --> 00:01:39,515 But, seriously, Sean is awesome. 45 00:01:39,807 --> 00:01:41,475 He's the second best I've ever dated. 46 00:01:41,767 --> 00:01:43,644 You did not date Sean "Puffy" Combs. 47 00:01:43,936 --> 00:01:45,605 - But did I date Diddy? - No. 48 00:01:45,896 --> 00:01:47,523 I'll never tell. I didn't. 49 00:01:47,815 --> 00:01:49,025 Penny, are you done yapping 50 00:01:49,317 --> 00:01:51,152 about the jackasses you've brought home? 51 00:01:51,444 --> 00:01:53,863 Can we get back to the point at hand, which is Grant, 52 00:01:54,155 --> 00:01:56,949 and that you guys will please be nice to Grant? 53 00:01:57,241 --> 00:02:01,454 Dude, of course, we promise to be super mice to him. 54 00:02:01,746 --> 00:02:05,458 We will be his mest friends in the whole mide morld. 55 00:02:05,750 --> 00:02:08,252 We'll be the friendliest people he's ever met. 56 00:02:08,544 --> 00:02:10,046 Ugh. Damn it. 57 00:02:10,338 --> 00:02:11,631 I thought you were gonna get it. 58 00:02:11,922 --> 00:02:13,633 Yeah. So close. 59 00:02:23,601 --> 00:02:25,478 An expired Groupon for a dinner for four. 60 00:02:25,770 --> 00:02:27,772 We have got to find some good couples friends. 61 00:02:28,064 --> 00:02:31,192 I know. It is embarrassing ordering a four-person menu 62 00:02:31,484 --> 00:02:34,236 pretending our "friends" will be back from the "bathroom", 63 00:02:34,528 --> 00:02:36,781 or are "late" on account of the "fire" they put out. 64 00:02:37,073 --> 00:02:38,532 Because they're "firefighters." 65 00:02:38,824 --> 00:02:40,368 Guys, I hear you L and C, and, yes, 66 00:02:40,660 --> 00:02:42,203 Sean and I would be honored to join. 67 00:02:42,495 --> 00:02:44,205 You know who'd be great? The Ericksons. 68 00:02:44,497 --> 00:02:45,956 Or me and Sean. 69 00:02:46,248 --> 00:02:48,292 No. The Ericksons always talk about their kid. 70 00:02:48,584 --> 00:02:49,919 Ugh, yeah. It's like, we get it. 71 00:02:50,211 --> 00:02:51,754 You made a mistake, named it Todd. 72 00:02:52,046 --> 00:02:53,547 The good couples are either boring 73 00:02:53,839 --> 00:02:55,383 or want to do sex with us. It's rude. 74 00:02:55,675 --> 00:02:57,093 What kind of vibe are we giving off 75 00:02:57,385 --> 00:02:59,595 that every couple wants to sweeten our sheets? 76 00:02:59,887 --> 00:03:02,807 You do do that super cute thing with the breadsticks 77 00:03:03,099 --> 00:03:05,810 where you break them into two and then you dance them around. 78 00:03:06,102 --> 00:03:09,271 It's like two little bread legs strutting towards the tapenade. 79 00:03:09,563 --> 00:03:10,940 Mmm... 80 00:03:11,232 --> 00:03:12,858 Guys. Guys. Guys. 81 00:03:13,150 --> 00:03:15,903 Ew. Guys, Sean and I would be perfect, okay? 82 00:03:16,195 --> 00:03:17,363 He's cool and he's fun, 83 00:03:17,655 --> 00:03:19,073 and he won't try to do sex with you. 84 00:03:19,365 --> 00:03:20,658 Whoa. Heh, heh. 85 00:03:20,950 --> 00:03:22,410 Who does he think he is? Yeah. 86 00:03:22,702 --> 00:03:25,663 Let him see my breadsticks thing before you make that statement. 87 00:03:25,955 --> 00:03:27,498 He'll want to lay down all over this. 88 00:03:27,790 --> 00:03:29,291 I want to lay down all over that. 89 00:03:33,087 --> 00:03:34,922 Bicycle kick! Bicycle kick! 90 00:03:35,214 --> 00:03:36,632 Bicycle kick! Bicycle kick! 91 00:03:36,924 --> 00:03:39,218 Dude, it's foosball. They're all bicycle kicks. 92 00:03:39,510 --> 00:03:41,595 Yeah, well. Goal! Boom! 93 00:03:41,887 --> 00:03:43,556 Suck it, Grant. Loser. 94 00:03:43,848 --> 00:03:46,559 We're still winning 9 to 1. We took the momentum back. 95 00:03:46,851 --> 00:03:48,436 So we are gonna blow this thing wide... 96 00:03:48,728 --> 00:03:50,187 Game over! 97 00:03:50,479 --> 00:03:52,690 Para hoy. Para hoy. 98 00:03:52,982 --> 00:03:54,358 Wait. Why am I saying that? 99 00:03:54,650 --> 00:03:57,278 It's a phrase I picked up when I lived in Spain. 100 00:03:57,570 --> 00:03:59,613 Women selling tickets would call out para hoy, 101 00:03:59,905 --> 00:04:01,365 which means "for today." 102 00:04:01,657 --> 00:04:04,160 It's a great phrase in general, like, "Live for today." 103 00:04:04,452 --> 00:04:05,953 It's a good story. I love that. 104 00:04:06,245 --> 00:04:08,581 I love this! Ha, ha, oh! 105 00:04:08,873 --> 00:04:09,248 Grant, oh! 106 00:04:10,291 --> 00:04:12,626 Man, where did you learn this stretch? 107 00:04:12,918 --> 00:04:14,211 My back has never felt better. 108 00:04:14,503 --> 00:04:16,505 Never. Ever. Better. 109 00:04:16,797 --> 00:04:18,841 I picked it up in Tibet. Monks know what's up. 110 00:04:19,133 --> 00:04:21,886 Now just breathe into it, man, all right? 111 00:04:22,178 --> 00:04:23,804 Breathe into it. 112 00:04:24,096 --> 00:04:25,765 Oh! I don't care who sees this. 113 00:04:26,056 --> 00:04:27,516 Damn, little daddy. 114 00:04:27,808 --> 00:04:29,894 Great game, Dave. Nice to see you guys. 115 00:04:30,186 --> 00:04:33,063 Max, should we head to dinner? Oh, yeah, totally. 116 00:04:33,355 --> 00:04:34,815 Bye, Grant. See you. 117 00:04:35,107 --> 00:04:36,525 Did I get taller? 118 00:04:36,817 --> 00:04:38,986 That went amazing. My friends love you. 119 00:04:39,278 --> 00:04:41,572 I really like them too. They're just okay. 120 00:04:41,864 --> 00:04:44,241 Nothing to get worked up over but they don't hate you, 121 00:04:44,533 --> 00:04:47,203 and they hate everybody. Once Penny brought an astronaut, 122 00:04:47,495 --> 00:04:50,372 everyone's: "Ugh, space is isn't the final frontier anymore." 123 00:04:50,664 --> 00:04:53,042 I don't think we've seen the last of what caves offer. 124 00:04:53,334 --> 00:04:54,710 Thank you. God, you're perfect! 125 00:04:55,002 --> 00:04:57,004 Oh, come on, Max. Nobody's perfect. 126 00:04:57,296 --> 00:04:59,256 Shh! Save it for them. I don't care. 127 00:05:01,258 --> 00:05:04,053 So real talk. Grant's pretty awesome. 128 00:05:04,345 --> 00:05:06,430 I mean, he's nice. He's smart. 129 00:05:06,722 --> 00:05:08,140 Ideal brow thickness. 130 00:05:08,432 --> 00:05:10,893 And did you see that vest-tie ensemble he was wearing? 131 00:05:11,185 --> 00:05:13,604 I see those colors in my head and they don't make sense, 132 00:05:13,896 --> 00:05:16,273 then I see them on him, it's like, nothing else does. 133 00:05:16,565 --> 00:05:19,401 He even offered to come and fix our garbage disposal tomorrow, 134 00:05:19,693 --> 00:05:22,530 which is great, because someone put a chicken down there. 135 00:05:22,822 --> 00:05:24,907 I love the sound of bones crunching. 136 00:05:25,199 --> 00:05:26,992 I feel like a god. I can destroy life. 137 00:05:27,284 --> 00:05:29,328 It's already destroyed. It's cooked chicken. 138 00:05:29,620 --> 00:05:32,081 Do you realize if things work out between Grant and Max, 139 00:05:32,373 --> 00:05:34,458 he could be, like the cool guy in our group? 140 00:05:34,750 --> 00:05:37,002 Whoa! Whoa, whoa. 141 00:05:37,294 --> 00:05:38,671 I think our group has a cool guy. 142 00:05:38,963 --> 00:05:40,256 Who? We do? 143 00:05:40,548 --> 00:05:42,716 The guy from the deli? Not really in our group. 144 00:05:43,008 --> 00:05:45,094 Um, this guy. 145 00:05:47,680 --> 00:05:49,473 Wouldn't have been my first guess. 146 00:05:49,765 --> 00:05:51,183 Yeah, come on. Max is the lazy one. 147 00:05:51,475 --> 00:05:53,519 Jane's the type A one. Penny's the single girl. 148 00:05:53,811 --> 00:05:55,062 Brad, the married one. 149 00:05:55,354 --> 00:05:57,565 Alex is the one with the store. That's not fair. 150 00:05:57,857 --> 00:06:00,651 Not cool, man. Pfft. 151 00:06:00,943 --> 00:06:02,152 Pretty spot-on. Exactly. 152 00:06:02,444 --> 00:06:04,613 So if I'm not the cool guy, what am I? 153 00:06:06,115 --> 00:06:09,159 You're our Dave. Dave. 154 00:06:09,451 --> 00:06:12,288 Every group needs a Dave. Yes, like in Dave Matthews Band. 155 00:06:12,580 --> 00:06:13,998 Carter Beauford is the Dave. 156 00:06:14,290 --> 00:06:16,500 Guys, I'm not just Dave, all right? 157 00:06:16,792 --> 00:06:18,544 Clearly, I am the cool guy of this group. 158 00:06:18,836 --> 00:06:22,798 Barkeep, another pint of your strongest lager, please. 159 00:06:26,802 --> 00:06:28,721 Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. 160 00:06:29,013 --> 00:06:30,055 How great is Grant? 161 00:06:30,347 --> 00:06:31,932 Look how well the disposal works now. 162 00:06:32,224 --> 00:06:34,268 And I am still loving that para hoy thing. 163 00:06:34,560 --> 00:06:36,729 Living for today goes against all my instincts, 164 00:06:37,021 --> 00:06:39,481 but in the checkout line today, I impulse-bought... 165 00:06:39,773 --> 00:06:42,401 What? ...these batteries. 166 00:06:42,693 --> 00:06:44,445 What? The man is changing lives. 167 00:06:44,737 --> 00:06:46,363 Whatever. 168 00:06:46,655 --> 00:06:48,532 Hey, we've been inside for a half-hour. 169 00:06:48,824 --> 00:06:50,409 How long you leaving those shades on? 170 00:06:50,701 --> 00:06:51,702 I'll leave them on... 171 00:06:51,994 --> 00:06:53,537 as long as it takes. 172 00:06:53,829 --> 00:06:55,247 As long as it takes to what? 173 00:06:55,539 --> 00:06:57,207 Oh, no. He's doing David Caruso again. 174 00:06:57,499 --> 00:06:59,877 Caruso'ing wasn't cool when you did it six years ago. 175 00:07:00,169 --> 00:07:02,421 Live in the now, Dave. Para hoy. 176 00:07:02,713 --> 00:07:05,507 Whatever. I don't want to para hoy, okay? 177 00:07:05,799 --> 00:07:07,259 But if my old moves aren't working, 178 00:07:07,551 --> 00:07:09,678 I'll just have to kick up the cool a notch. 179 00:07:09,970 --> 00:07:11,430 Get ready for a reboot. 180 00:07:11,722 --> 00:07:13,098 Dave... 181 00:07:13,390 --> 00:07:15,017 2.0. 182 00:07:15,309 --> 00:07:18,020 I didn't even tell you guys the best part of Grant's visit. 183 00:07:18,312 --> 00:07:20,606 He gets a little chicken juice on his shirt. Uh-oh. 184 00:07:20,898 --> 00:07:22,650 He's gotta take it off, and I'll tell you, 185 00:07:22,942 --> 00:07:25,069 it was not too hard on the old peepers. 186 00:07:27,029 --> 00:07:28,197 I'm sure it wasn't that great. 187 00:07:28,489 --> 00:07:30,199 Only one way to find out. 188 00:07:30,491 --> 00:07:32,952 So you also got a chicken stuck in here? 189 00:07:33,243 --> 00:07:34,912 Yeah, well, you know how chickens are. 190 00:07:35,204 --> 00:07:36,455 One minute you're eating them, the next minute, 191 00:07:37,498 --> 00:07:39,583 their whole bodies are in the disposal. 192 00:07:39,875 --> 00:07:42,544 Why is he wearing his shirt? Because people wear shirts. 193 00:07:42,836 --> 00:07:44,838 So, what's wrong with the old disposal? 194 00:07:45,130 --> 00:07:47,091 Oh, no! 195 00:07:47,383 --> 00:07:49,343 Oh, my God. I did that totally on accident. 196 00:07:49,635 --> 00:07:50,928 It's not a problem. Yeah. 197 00:07:51,220 --> 00:07:53,847 Let's get you out of this thing. 198 00:07:54,139 --> 00:07:56,475 Good riddance. Ah! Ah. 199 00:07:56,767 --> 00:07:57,977 And where are we on the pants? 200 00:07:58,268 --> 00:07:59,770 Those okay or? Uh... 201 00:08:00,062 --> 00:08:02,773 Got it. Leaving them on. Cool. It's a nice shirt. 202 00:08:03,065 --> 00:08:04,733 It's made from eco-friendly soy inks, 203 00:08:05,025 --> 00:08:08,153 not cochineal dyes from ground-up insects. 204 00:08:08,445 --> 00:08:10,823 And I also get to support a local company. 205 00:08:11,115 --> 00:08:12,449 Oh, local! Wow! 206 00:08:12,741 --> 00:08:14,451 So green. Get to stepping. 207 00:08:14,743 --> 00:08:16,578 My shirt is made completely from bug inks, 208 00:08:16,870 --> 00:08:18,664 and I'm proud of it, so... 209 00:08:18,956 --> 00:08:20,666 Come on. You guys are being ridiculous. 210 00:08:20,958 --> 00:08:23,127 You think he's cool because you're stupid girls. 211 00:08:23,419 --> 00:08:26,255 Grant-astic voyage! I thought I heard your voice. Check me out. 212 00:08:26,547 --> 00:08:28,257 Twinsies! Ha-ha-ha. 213 00:08:28,549 --> 00:08:31,468 Well, fraternal, of course, because, you know... Oh! 214 00:08:31,760 --> 00:08:33,595 Oh, we're doing shirtless now? 215 00:08:33,887 --> 00:08:35,889 No, we're not doing shirtless. That's cool. 216 00:08:36,181 --> 00:08:39,018 We can do that, bro. Take it off. 217 00:08:42,563 --> 00:08:44,273 It was great meeting you, Sean. 218 00:08:44,565 --> 00:08:45,691 You too, and, hey, Brad, 219 00:08:45,983 --> 00:08:47,818 thanks for the rec on where to get the vest. 220 00:08:48,110 --> 00:08:50,070 Great eye, Sean. Funny story, actually. 221 00:08:50,362 --> 00:08:52,406 My new best friend Grant, he said to me: 222 00:08:52,698 --> 00:08:57,161 "Colors don't bite. They're just colors." 223 00:08:57,453 --> 00:08:58,829 He's awesome. 224 00:08:59,121 --> 00:09:01,165 He's my best friend, so you know how that goes. 225 00:09:01,457 --> 00:09:02,833 Sounds like a good guy. 226 00:09:03,125 --> 00:09:04,877 Yeah. Yeah. 227 00:09:05,169 --> 00:09:07,963 Well, I think we can all agree this night was a success. 228 00:09:08,255 --> 00:09:09,757 Yeah. I had fun. 229 00:09:10,049 --> 00:09:11,508 Hope to see you guys again soon, 230 00:09:11,800 --> 00:09:14,094 and I'll call you later, Penny. Okay. Bye. 231 00:09:14,386 --> 00:09:16,889 A kiss on the cheek. Could have got some tongue, bro. 232 00:09:18,807 --> 00:09:21,894 So, what do you think? 233 00:09:22,186 --> 00:09:25,731 I think knowing Grant is making us so much cooler. 234 00:09:26,023 --> 00:09:28,317 No, no, no. What do you think of Sean? 235 00:09:28,609 --> 00:09:30,944 I mean, he's cool too. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sure. 236 00:09:31,236 --> 00:09:33,739 Brad, know who would be great couples friends for us? 237 00:09:34,031 --> 00:09:36,325 Who? Max and Grant. Der! 238 00:09:36,617 --> 00:09:38,035 Are you in my brain? I might be. 239 00:09:38,327 --> 00:09:41,121 OM-yes! Dream team, baby. Unh! Unh! 240 00:09:41,413 --> 00:09:44,666 I mean, I'm in all of your heads right now, because I'm thinking: 241 00:09:44,958 --> 00:09:49,296 Sean, Penny, Brad, Jane... Dreamy teamy. Aah! 242 00:09:51,215 --> 00:09:53,008 I don't know. That's on you, babe, 243 00:09:53,300 --> 00:09:55,177 seriously, because... 244 00:09:55,469 --> 00:09:57,262 Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 245 00:09:57,554 --> 00:09:58,806 I want to get to the bottom 246 00:09:59,098 --> 00:10:01,183 of why Sean didn't want to have sex with us. 247 00:10:01,475 --> 00:10:04,061 I mean, was he shy? Was he playing some games? 248 00:10:04,353 --> 00:10:06,480 What do you think the deal was with that? 249 00:10:06,772 --> 00:10:09,691 Got off the phone with Grant. I wanted to go do that thing 250 00:10:09,983 --> 00:10:12,861 where we go to a Gymboree and we scream, "Aidan?" 251 00:10:13,153 --> 00:10:14,321 "Aidan, where are you, honey? 252 00:10:14,613 --> 00:10:16,740 Aidan, Daddy's getting worried. Aidan?" 253 00:10:17,032 --> 00:10:18,992 But we can't because obviously he's too busy 254 00:10:19,284 --> 00:10:20,869 taking Penny to a sample sale. 255 00:10:21,161 --> 00:10:22,871 Hey, man. Chillax about Grant. 256 00:10:23,163 --> 00:10:25,666 Sometimes a boyfriend isn't the coolest guy around. 257 00:10:25,958 --> 00:10:28,919 Maybe the coolest guy around is the guy on the couch. 258 00:10:29,211 --> 00:10:31,004 Guy in the scarf telling me to chillax? 259 00:10:31,296 --> 00:10:33,715 Come on. It's a way better catchphrase than para hoy. 260 00:10:34,007 --> 00:10:35,676 Not everybody needs to live for today, 261 00:10:35,968 --> 00:10:37,219 but everyone needs to chillax. 262 00:10:37,511 --> 00:10:39,054 Okay, you're done. Hit the showers. 263 00:10:39,346 --> 00:10:40,597 Knock, knock, Dr. Spock. 264 00:10:40,889 --> 00:10:42,808 We were just cruising the neighb. 265 00:10:43,100 --> 00:10:44,685 Wanted to see if Grant was around, 266 00:10:44,977 --> 00:10:46,061 maybe wanted to hang out. 267 00:10:46,353 --> 00:10:48,480 Maybe feels like fixing things? Whatever. 268 00:10:48,772 --> 00:10:51,108 Okay, this is very nice that you guys like Grant, 269 00:10:51,400 --> 00:10:53,694 but it has got to stop. It's starting to get cray. 270 00:10:53,986 --> 00:10:56,780 Max, I'm so sorry I'm late. 271 00:10:57,072 --> 00:10:58,740 I was doing a bachelor auction for Jane 272 00:10:59,032 --> 00:11:00,576 but, special bonus: 273 00:11:00,868 --> 00:11:03,412 Enid will be joining us. Hi. 274 00:11:03,704 --> 00:11:06,582 She has some great stories. My husband's dead. 275 00:11:08,542 --> 00:11:10,252 That was her best story. 276 00:11:10,544 --> 00:11:12,713 Sorry, Max, but you said you wanted us to like him. 277 00:11:13,005 --> 00:11:14,965 Well, we love him. I mean, he's perfect. 278 00:11:15,257 --> 00:11:17,467 Alex, come on. Nobody is perfect. 279 00:11:17,759 --> 00:11:19,553 God, you're so lucky, Max. Yeah. 280 00:11:19,845 --> 00:11:21,763 Don't you think he's lucky to have me? 281 00:11:22,055 --> 00:11:25,017 I used to think Michael Caine was perfect until I met Grant. 282 00:11:25,309 --> 00:11:27,978 Okay, stop saying Grant is perfect! Grant is not perfect. 283 00:11:28,270 --> 00:11:30,189 I will find what is wrong with him right now. 284 00:11:30,480 --> 00:11:33,108 Whoa! Whoa. Man, that was weird. 285 00:11:33,400 --> 00:11:35,944 I think we all just need to sit down and chillax. 286 00:11:36,236 --> 00:11:37,863 Is that an indoor scarf? 287 00:11:38,155 --> 00:11:39,865 Look, did I or did I not call 288 00:11:40,157 --> 00:11:41,825 for an across-the-board chillaxing? 289 00:11:42,117 --> 00:11:44,286 Yep. He is wearing one. Yep. Definitely. 290 00:11:44,578 --> 00:11:46,371 And sunglasses. And the shades. 291 00:11:46,663 --> 00:11:50,834 Oh, no. Jane, you guys really have to cancel tomorrow? 292 00:11:51,126 --> 00:11:52,711 This sucks. 293 00:11:53,003 --> 00:11:54,880 Sean and I were so excited to lock in 294 00:11:55,172 --> 00:11:57,716 the whole couples thing... Unexpected Dave! 295 00:11:58,008 --> 00:11:59,051 Hi. 296 00:11:59,343 --> 00:12:00,886 Jane, I gotta call you back. 297 00:12:01,178 --> 00:12:02,763 So, what are you doing there, friend? 298 00:12:03,055 --> 00:12:05,057 Well, AI told me the door was broken, 299 00:12:05,349 --> 00:12:08,018 so I'm just here fixing it. Had to be shirtless to do that? 300 00:12:08,310 --> 00:12:10,854 Well, I was crouching, and you know how heat lowers, 301 00:12:11,146 --> 00:12:14,942 and the whole thermal inversion thing, so voilá. 302 00:12:15,234 --> 00:12:16,526 So how was the sample sale? 303 00:12:16,818 --> 00:12:19,321 Did you have a blast with Grant looking at dumb clothes? 304 00:12:19,613 --> 00:12:21,114 The blastiest time ever. 305 00:12:21,406 --> 00:12:24,576 Grant rented us Italian scooters. So cool. 306 00:12:24,868 --> 00:12:27,120 Well, I drive a food truck, which is basically a car 307 00:12:27,412 --> 00:12:30,165 full of ovens, so... Dave, it's not a contest. 308 00:12:30,457 --> 00:12:32,417 You don't have to compete with Grant or Sean. 309 00:12:32,709 --> 00:12:34,920 Who's Sean? The point is, you're our Dave. 310 00:12:35,212 --> 00:12:36,338 Everyone stop saying that! 311 00:12:36,630 --> 00:12:38,882 I almost forgot, Grant bought our Dave something. 312 00:12:39,174 --> 00:12:40,509 He found this jacket 313 00:12:40,801 --> 00:12:43,262 and he just knew it would look great on you. 314 00:12:45,931 --> 00:12:48,016 Damn it. This will look great on me. 315 00:12:48,308 --> 00:12:51,895 I am really loving this look on you, Sean. 316 00:12:52,187 --> 00:12:54,439 Yeah, well, thanks for buying all this stuff for me 317 00:12:54,731 --> 00:12:56,149 and dropping it off at my office, 318 00:12:56,441 --> 00:12:58,443 and strongly suggesting I wear it today. 319 00:12:58,735 --> 00:13:00,195 Well, you said you liked it on Brad. 320 00:13:00,487 --> 00:13:04,116 In passing. But I gotta admit, it feels pretty right. 321 00:13:04,408 --> 00:13:07,661 I'm so bummed that Brad and Jane aren't gonna get to see 322 00:13:07,953 --> 00:13:09,204 how cool you look. 323 00:13:09,496 --> 00:13:11,623 But today is gonna be fun. I heard about this show 324 00:13:11,915 --> 00:13:14,334 from Max's boyfriend/my dear friend Grant. 325 00:13:16,586 --> 00:13:19,089 They're couples-cheating with Max and Grant. 326 00:13:19,381 --> 00:13:21,383 Grant's probably explaining the art to them. 327 00:13:21,675 --> 00:13:23,135 Now we'll never know what it means. 328 00:13:23,427 --> 00:13:25,595 Yeah, I'm sorry, babe. I know how you want to be... 329 00:13:25,887 --> 00:13:27,931 couples friends with them. No. You know what? 330 00:13:28,223 --> 00:13:29,850 Not anymore I don't. 331 00:13:30,142 --> 00:13:32,894 Who cares about being Jane and Brad's stupid couples friends 332 00:13:33,186 --> 00:13:35,897 if we can be Max and Grant's stupid couples friends? 333 00:13:36,189 --> 00:13:37,691 I'm getting really confused. 334 00:13:37,983 --> 00:13:39,693 Can't we hang out just the two of us? 335 00:13:39,985 --> 00:13:41,820 Oh, yeah, yeah. That makes perfect sense. 336 00:13:42,112 --> 00:13:43,822 We'll be each other's couples friends. 337 00:13:44,114 --> 00:13:45,991 Sorry. Damn it. 338 00:13:51,913 --> 00:13:54,041 Well, everyone was right. Grant's perfect. 339 00:13:54,333 --> 00:13:56,168 I can't find a single thing wrong with him. 340 00:13:56,460 --> 00:13:59,046 Yay, Grant! Not "yay, Grant." Disaster. 341 00:13:59,338 --> 00:14:01,381 Why are you obsessed with finding a flaw in him? 342 00:14:01,673 --> 00:14:04,051 Most people would be psyched to find the perfect guy. 343 00:14:04,343 --> 00:14:06,178 Who doesn't turn his underwear inside out, 344 00:14:06,470 --> 00:14:07,721 and go "Good as new, baby." 345 00:14:08,013 --> 00:14:10,307 In this situation, is he referring to his underwear 346 00:14:10,599 --> 00:14:11,683 as baby or you as baby? 347 00:14:11,975 --> 00:14:13,560 The underwear. That's disturbing. 348 00:14:13,852 --> 00:14:16,521 Don't change the subject, okay? I know what you're doing. 349 00:14:16,813 --> 00:14:19,024 When something is too perfect, you blow it up. 350 00:14:19,316 --> 00:14:20,734 Do not use your dime-store psy... 351 00:14:21,026 --> 00:14:23,236 That's exactly what I'm doing, but I have to. 352 00:14:23,528 --> 00:14:26,114 If Grant is perfect, that means I'm not good enough for him. 353 00:14:26,406 --> 00:14:27,866 Max, don't say that. It's true. 354 00:14:28,158 --> 00:14:29,868 I know I may be tough on the outside... 355 00:14:30,160 --> 00:14:32,412 - Not really. - ...but I'm fragile on the inside. 356 00:14:32,704 --> 00:14:33,747 A little on the outside too. 357 00:14:34,039 --> 00:14:35,582 And I have to be brave for everybody. 358 00:14:35,874 --> 00:14:37,834 You love to play the victim. The point is... 359 00:14:38,126 --> 00:14:40,545 that once Grant realizes that he can do better than me, 360 00:14:40,837 --> 00:14:42,756 he's gonna dump me, so I gotta dump him. 361 00:14:43,048 --> 00:14:45,133 It's called taking prevemtive measures. 362 00:14:45,425 --> 00:14:46,510 Redemptive measures. 363 00:14:46,802 --> 00:14:48,637 I think I'd know if I was being redemptive. 364 00:14:48,929 --> 00:14:51,098 We're not in Europe. Okay, you're acting crazy. 365 00:14:51,390 --> 00:14:53,725 All you guys need is a little time to reconnect. 366 00:14:54,017 --> 00:14:55,894 We'll stay away so you guys can have a nice, 367 00:14:56,186 --> 00:14:57,396 quiet dinner for two. 368 00:14:57,687 --> 00:15:00,065 You know what? That's a great idea. 369 00:15:00,357 --> 00:15:03,443 A quiet dinner for two is the perfect place to dump him. 370 00:15:03,735 --> 00:15:06,238 No! For love! For dumping! Thank you. 371 00:15:06,530 --> 00:15:08,073 You're smarter than you are tall. 372 00:15:08,365 --> 00:15:11,952 Good day, tiny madam. 373 00:15:12,244 --> 00:15:16,164 Yeah, I'll probably be too busy in the next coming weeks. 374 00:15:16,456 --> 00:15:18,875 Too busy for what? I didn't mention anything. 375 00:15:19,167 --> 00:15:20,794 Cool, cool, because I probably can't. 376 00:15:21,837 --> 00:15:23,964 Can't what? Oh! 377 00:15:24,256 --> 00:15:26,758 Hey, guys. We heard you might be here. 378 00:15:27,050 --> 00:15:28,218 We love this place. 379 00:15:28,510 --> 00:15:30,804 This is Sean. He's a pharmacist. 380 00:15:31,096 --> 00:15:32,681 Whoa. Grant, Sean, twins alert. 381 00:15:32,973 --> 00:15:34,808 Can I talk to you for a second? 382 00:15:35,100 --> 00:15:37,144 I have some things I need to say to say to Grant. 383 00:15:37,436 --> 00:15:38,603 Suppose to be dinner for two. 384 00:15:38,895 --> 00:15:39,980 What's that? Sure. 385 00:15:40,272 --> 00:15:41,523 We'd love to stay. Great idea. 386 00:15:41,815 --> 00:15:43,733 Oh, hey, okay. Great. 387 00:15:44,025 --> 00:15:45,652 I'll make it a reservation for four. 388 00:15:45,944 --> 00:15:47,612 You don't have to do that. Fun. 389 00:15:47,904 --> 00:15:51,491 What? Max. You come here with Grant? 390 00:15:51,783 --> 00:15:54,536 Who's in possibly the smoothest overcoat 391 00:15:54,828 --> 00:15:56,371 I've ever seen in my life. 392 00:15:56,663 --> 00:15:59,791 Hey. Pipe. We're doing a little dinner for four thing here. 393 00:16:00,083 --> 00:16:01,334 Why don't you get to scooching? 394 00:16:01,626 --> 00:16:04,463 I think everybody here could get to scooching. 395 00:16:04,754 --> 00:16:07,591 I know that you couples-cheated on us with Max and Grant, 396 00:16:07,883 --> 00:16:09,468 but you'll be sorry, because twist! 397 00:16:09,759 --> 00:16:11,595 They're to see that the real dream team 398 00:16:11,887 --> 00:16:13,930 is Max, Grant, Penny, Sean, party of four. 399 00:16:14,222 --> 00:16:15,265 Supposed to be party of two. 400 00:16:15,557 --> 00:16:17,184 Reservation, for six. 401 00:16:17,476 --> 00:16:19,311 Hey, buddy. Hey, man. 402 00:16:19,603 --> 00:16:22,397 Let's talk about this before we make these decisions. 403 00:16:22,689 --> 00:16:24,232 Game on, sister. 404 00:16:24,524 --> 00:16:27,736 This dinner is gonna be a test of who Grant really likes, okay? 405 00:16:28,028 --> 00:16:29,821 Hint, us. 406 00:16:30,113 --> 00:16:31,364 Try hint. 407 00:16:31,656 --> 00:16:33,200 Sean! 408 00:16:33,492 --> 00:16:35,243 Oh, hey. Us. 409 00:16:35,535 --> 00:16:37,454 Hey, guys. Good to see you again. 410 00:16:37,746 --> 00:16:40,040 Brad, check it out. Twin alert. Mine's better. 411 00:16:40,332 --> 00:16:42,792 Sean, focus up. We are in a feud with them. 412 00:16:43,084 --> 00:16:45,504 And there's been a twin alert issued for you and Grant. 413 00:16:45,795 --> 00:16:48,381 Hey, y'all. Alex, what are you doing here? 414 00:16:48,673 --> 00:16:50,717 You told me to have a quiet dinner for two. 415 00:16:51,009 --> 00:16:52,886 I'm not gonna let you blow it up with Grant. 416 00:16:53,178 --> 00:16:55,639 Okay, reservation for seven. 417 00:16:57,390 --> 00:16:59,059 Hey, guys. Or eight. 418 00:16:59,351 --> 00:17:01,561 Check this out. How much cooler is this 419 00:17:01,853 --> 00:17:03,563 than an Italian scooter? 420 00:17:06,858 --> 00:17:08,944 - That's gravity. - Dave, hold on! 421 00:17:09,236 --> 00:17:10,570 I used to be an EMT. 422 00:17:10,862 --> 00:17:12,614 Dude, chillax. I got this, man. 423 00:17:12,906 --> 00:17:14,449 Okay? 424 00:17:17,327 --> 00:17:19,371 It's okay. All right? 425 00:17:19,663 --> 00:17:21,748 Okay. 426 00:17:22,040 --> 00:17:24,751 Hey, by the way, do you like that jacket that I got for you? 427 00:17:25,043 --> 00:17:26,753 Yeah, Grant. It's awesome. Whatever. 428 00:17:27,045 --> 00:17:28,755 It fits like a glove, and it slims me down 429 00:17:29,047 --> 00:17:30,590 in all the right places, so, thanks. 430 00:17:30,882 --> 00:17:32,133 Oh, boy. 431 00:17:32,425 --> 00:17:34,886 Hey, let's eat. Let's eat. 432 00:17:35,178 --> 00:17:37,222 Hungry. Dibs on sitting next to Grant! 433 00:17:39,599 --> 00:17:39,933 Or Sean. Okay. 434 00:17:40,976 --> 00:17:42,769 I'm on the table, and I got my shirt off, 435 00:17:43,061 --> 00:17:45,730 swinging a snake in the air, it was getting crazy. 436 00:17:46,022 --> 00:17:47,983 But in France, you gotta try absinthe. 437 00:17:48,275 --> 00:17:49,526 Bonjour. 438 00:17:49,818 --> 00:17:51,861 How do you know if you're with the right person? 439 00:17:52,153 --> 00:17:53,488 Max. Stop it. 440 00:17:53,780 --> 00:17:55,282 Sean and I are always saying 441 00:17:55,574 --> 00:17:57,409 we want to try absinthe and just get crazy. 442 00:17:57,701 --> 00:18:01,037 Another thing that makes us have everything in common with Grant. 443 00:18:01,329 --> 00:18:02,956 Grant and I have a lot in common too. 444 00:18:03,248 --> 00:18:04,624 I mean, para hoy, 445 00:18:04,916 --> 00:18:06,126 kind of a mantra we started. 446 00:18:06,418 --> 00:18:09,087 Don't forget our vest-tie combos, huh? 447 00:18:09,379 --> 00:18:11,131 Which I guess we also share with Sean now. 448 00:18:11,423 --> 00:18:13,883 The look works. Was kind of a him-and-me thing. 449 00:18:14,175 --> 00:18:17,095 Sean seems to have leapfrogged you style-wise. 450 00:18:17,387 --> 00:18:18,555 End of an era, hombre. 451 00:18:18,847 --> 00:18:20,432 There's enough of Grant to go around. 452 00:18:20,724 --> 00:18:22,976 We could learn a lot from him. He knows so many facts. 453 00:18:23,268 --> 00:18:25,437 Well, I got a bunch of facts too, so... 454 00:18:25,729 --> 00:18:27,147 I love learning new facts. Hit me. 455 00:18:27,439 --> 00:18:29,482 You know what? Keep your facts. I'll keep mine. 456 00:18:29,774 --> 00:18:30,984 Here's a fun fact. 457 00:18:31,276 --> 00:18:33,278 Thinking of moving out of the country. Where? 458 00:18:33,570 --> 00:18:35,822 Doesn't matter, but it will sever all my personal... 459 00:18:36,114 --> 00:18:38,700 See, there you go. Speaking of relationships, 460 00:18:38,992 --> 00:18:40,285 Grant, there is a wedding 461 00:18:40,577 --> 00:18:42,787 that Brad and I are going to in Kona. 462 00:18:43,079 --> 00:18:44,789 That's Hawaii. 463 00:18:45,081 --> 00:18:49,252 And we would like for you to be our plus-one. All expenses paid. 464 00:18:49,544 --> 00:18:51,630 Grant. Ding, ding, ding! 465 00:18:51,921 --> 00:18:53,965 Sean and I have a wedding we want you to go to. 466 00:18:54,257 --> 00:18:56,217 It's in Europe, so it's like a royal wedding. 467 00:18:56,509 --> 00:18:59,346 All expenses paid, with a very generous per diem. 468 00:18:59,638 --> 00:19:01,598 Per diem? We'll name a volcano after you. 469 00:19:01,890 --> 00:19:03,850 Do all those things with them, Mr. Perfect. 470 00:19:04,142 --> 00:19:06,019 I'm sure you'll have the free time you need. 471 00:19:06,311 --> 00:19:08,229 I think you and I should have a chat... 472 00:19:08,521 --> 00:19:11,107 Why don't we just take that? Yay, Grant. 473 00:19:11,399 --> 00:19:13,360 Isn't it gonna be fun that we all get to keep 474 00:19:13,652 --> 00:19:15,070 hanging out all the time? 475 00:19:15,362 --> 00:19:16,696 So much fun. I can't wait. 476 00:19:16,988 --> 00:19:19,157 What should I wear? 477 00:19:19,449 --> 00:19:22,744 No, please stop! I can't do this anymore! 478 00:19:23,036 --> 00:19:25,538 Okay? Look, I wanted you all to like me 479 00:19:25,830 --> 00:19:27,248 because you always hate everyone. 480 00:19:27,540 --> 00:19:29,250 That is correct. With good reason. 481 00:19:29,542 --> 00:19:31,711 But I can't be everything to everyone, 482 00:19:32,003 --> 00:19:33,963 and now I've got this Sean. Who is this guy? 483 00:19:34,255 --> 00:19:36,132 He's a pharmacist. I'm a teacher. 484 00:19:36,424 --> 00:19:38,677 What? I am exhausted. 485 00:19:38,968 --> 00:19:40,679 I wish I could just chillax like Dave. 486 00:19:40,970 --> 00:19:42,639 Which reminds me, Dave, 487 00:19:42,931 --> 00:19:45,058 what is it gonna take? You're impenetrable. 488 00:19:45,350 --> 00:19:47,852 I am what I am. I just did all of that stuff 489 00:19:48,144 --> 00:19:50,105 because I desperately wanted to be liked. 490 00:19:50,397 --> 00:19:52,357 Wait a minute. 491 00:19:52,649 --> 00:19:54,526 You're not perfect. 492 00:19:54,818 --> 00:19:57,445 You're needy. That's what he is. 493 00:19:57,737 --> 00:19:59,906 You're fiawed officially. 494 00:20:00,198 --> 00:20:02,450 I am, although celebrating it seems unnecessary. 495 00:20:02,742 --> 00:20:05,203 Yeah, well, I apologize. That was very rude. 496 00:20:05,495 --> 00:20:07,247 Max, I am not strong like you are. 497 00:20:07,539 --> 00:20:09,457 I care too much what people think of me. 498 00:20:09,749 --> 00:20:13,211 You don't care about anything, and I'm lucky to have you, 499 00:20:13,503 --> 00:20:15,588 but I just can't try to impress your friends. 500 00:20:15,880 --> 00:20:17,757 You don't have to try to impress my friends. 501 00:20:18,049 --> 00:20:19,092 You've already won me over. 502 00:20:19,384 --> 00:20:21,469 Who cares what these idiots think? 503 00:20:21,761 --> 00:20:23,054 Grant, you're right. 504 00:20:23,346 --> 00:20:25,098 It's tough being the cool guy of the group. 505 00:20:26,141 --> 00:20:27,934 Come on, Dave. This is Grant's moment. 506 00:20:28,226 --> 00:20:30,019 Hey, Grant. What am I doing right now? 507 00:20:30,311 --> 00:20:32,564 What do these look like? Sticks? 508 00:20:32,856 --> 00:20:34,023 If you were to describe these, 509 00:20:34,315 --> 00:20:35,859 what do they look like as a body part? 510 00:20:36,151 --> 00:20:38,236 Legs. Yeah! 511 00:20:38,528 --> 00:20:39,863 These are walking too, now. 512 00:20:42,699 --> 00:20:45,952 Aww. So cute. 513 00:20:46,244 --> 00:20:48,747 Penny, I'm so sorry we couples-cheated on you. 514 00:20:49,038 --> 00:20:50,665 It's just Grant called and... 515 00:20:50,957 --> 00:20:52,625 I would have done the exact same thing. 516 00:20:52,917 --> 00:20:54,669 Instead of competing, let's just go back 517 00:20:54,961 --> 00:20:56,463 to us being couples friends. 518 00:20:56,755 --> 00:20:58,131 The original dream team. Yes! 519 00:20:59,174 --> 00:21:01,176 You know, it's early. 520 00:21:01,468 --> 00:21:04,345 Why don't we go back to my place for a little ménage à four? 521 00:21:04,637 --> 00:21:06,723 What's that now? Because of the couples... 522 00:21:07,015 --> 00:21:09,058 Finally! 523 00:21:09,350 --> 00:21:12,437 Breadsticks strike again! Breadsticks, and... 524 00:21:12,729 --> 00:21:14,147 No. Bye, bye, bye. 525 00:21:14,439 --> 00:21:19,027 Bye, bye, bye. Impenetrable! 526 00:21:24,491 --> 00:21:26,201 Should I be following you? No! 527 00:21:26,493 --> 00:21:29,913 Oh, come on. Nobody saw that? It was awesome. 528 00:21:30,205 --> 00:21:31,831 I am the cool guy. 40478

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