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1
00:00:01,709 --> 00:00:04,795
Guys, how excited are you
for Derrick and Eric's wedding?
2
00:00:05,087 --> 00:00:06,255
The most.
3
00:00:06,547 --> 00:00:08,341
Do you guys realize that
their Brangelina name
4
00:00:08,633 --> 00:00:10,259
is gonna be "Derric"?
5
00:00:10,551 --> 00:00:12,845
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
It could also be "Erick."
6
00:00:13,137 --> 00:00:14,096
Whoa. Did we smoke weed?
7
00:00:14,388 --> 00:00:15,473
Interesting fact about Dave...
8
00:00:15,765 --> 00:00:17,183
I have never been
to a gay wedding, so...
9
00:00:17,475 --> 00:00:19,227
It's not an interesting fact...
10
00:00:19,519 --> 00:00:20,478
And...
11
00:00:22,355 --> 00:00:24,273
All weddings are pretty gay
when you think about it.
12
00:00:24,565 --> 00:00:25,775
If you want to know
what else is gay,
13
00:00:26,067 --> 00:00:27,026
you can visit my web site...
14
00:00:27,318 --> 00:00:30,154
www.ThingsThatAreGay.biz.
15
00:00:30,446 --> 00:00:32,490
I tried to get .gov,
but it was taken.
16
00:00:32,782 --> 00:00:34,200
Guys, can we just focus
on the wedding?
17
00:00:34,492 --> 00:00:36,786
Okay, we all got hotel rooms
downtown for next weekend.
18
00:00:37,078 --> 00:00:38,621
Yes!
Whoa. It's next weekend?
19
00:00:38,913 --> 00:00:39,872
How could you forget?
20
00:00:40,164 --> 00:00:43,876
Oh! Oh.
21
00:00:44,168 --> 00:00:47,088
We're getting married, bitches!
22
00:00:50,091 --> 00:00:51,300
And that was
just the save the date.
23
00:00:51,592 --> 00:00:53,511
I haven't seen anything
that choreographed
24
00:00:53,803 --> 00:00:55,972
since Colin Powell's
U.N. Testimony on W.M.D.S.
25
00:00:56,264 --> 00:00:57,431
Am I right?
26
00:00:57,723 --> 00:00:59,433
Are you really cleaning
underneath the couch,
27
00:00:59,725 --> 00:01:01,978
or are you just waiting to slide
out with an outdated zinger?
28
00:01:02,270 --> 00:01:05,189
I haven't seen anything
that unnecessarily complicated
29
00:01:05,481 --> 00:01:06,649
since the third season
of "Lost."
30
00:01:06,941 --> 00:01:08,401
Am I right?
31
00:01:08,693 --> 00:01:10,570
Asking, "am I right?" Is not
gonna make it funnier.
32
00:01:10,861 --> 00:01:12,363
Yeah, I'm loving it!
33
00:01:12,655 --> 00:01:14,490
Guys, am I just
so excited to not be
34
00:01:14,782 --> 00:01:16,409
at the singles table for once.
35
00:01:16,701 --> 00:01:18,661
I finally have a date
to a wedding,
36
00:01:18,953 --> 00:01:20,329
and I think
this is gonna be really good
37
00:01:20,621 --> 00:01:22,164
for me and Steve.
And... time!
38
00:01:22,456 --> 00:01:23,583
Three minutes and seven seconds
39
00:01:23,874 --> 00:01:25,334
till she mentioned
the guy she's dating.
40
00:01:25,626 --> 00:01:26,586
Who had three minutes?
41
00:01:26,877 --> 00:01:28,045
I had 11 seconds, so...
Oh, no.
42
00:01:28,337 --> 00:01:29,964
I thought she was opening
with it, so I'm out.
43
00:01:30,256 --> 00:01:31,549
I had two hours.
44
00:01:31,841 --> 00:01:33,718
Guys, that's not
a cool thing to bet on.
45
00:01:34,010 --> 00:01:35,177
Three minutes.
Pay up, suckdogs.
46
00:01:35,469 --> 00:01:36,721
Make it rain.
You guys talk about me
47
00:01:37,013 --> 00:01:38,139
when I'm not around?
48
00:01:38,431 --> 00:01:39,390
All the time.
49
00:01:49,567 --> 00:01:52,111
So I'm finally getting in on
the inner circle with my boss.
50
00:01:52,403 --> 00:01:53,571
I've kind of become
the aside guy.
51
00:01:53,863 --> 00:01:55,281
Aside guy?
52
00:01:55,573 --> 00:01:57,783
This fund gives us access
to European capital markets.
53
00:01:58,075 --> 00:02:00,578
This project
will never see the light of day.
54
00:02:00,870 --> 00:02:02,747
Better cash in your stock.
55
00:02:03,039 --> 00:02:04,957
If I had to fire
everyone in this room,
56
00:02:05,249 --> 00:02:07,335
who would go on
an office-wide killing spree?
57
00:02:07,627 --> 00:02:09,128
It is permitted
to offer securities
58
00:02:09,420 --> 00:02:11,881
using a simplified prospectus
that incorporates...
59
00:02:12,173 --> 00:02:13,132
Berger.
60
00:02:13,424 --> 00:02:15,760
He really would kill all of us.
61
00:02:16,052 --> 00:02:18,554
Okay, here's me and Steve
on a romantic picnic...
62
00:02:18,846 --> 00:02:20,348
Aw.
At the beach.
63
00:02:20,640 --> 00:02:23,893
Here's one of him sleeping,
sleeping, sleeping, sleeping.
64
00:02:24,185 --> 00:02:25,436
So it's mostly sleeping?
What? No.
65
00:02:25,728 --> 00:02:29,690
Here he is resting,
dozing, snoozing.
66
00:02:29,982 --> 00:02:33,152
Oh... god. I'm sorry.
Here I am, like, flaunting
67
00:02:33,444 --> 00:02:35,363
the most intimate moments
of my relationship,
68
00:02:35,655 --> 00:02:37,156
when some of us...
69
00:02:37,448 --> 00:02:38,616
Don't have dates
for the wedding.
70
00:02:38,908 --> 00:02:40,159
That is roof stoof.
71
00:02:40,451 --> 00:02:42,244
Pennels, you are not gonna
stir the poop up, okay?
72
00:02:42,536 --> 00:02:43,704
There is
no drama at this wedding,
73
00:02:43,996 --> 00:02:45,373
and you know my motto...
"save the drama
74
00:02:45,665 --> 00:02:47,416
for Wilmer Valderrama."
Oh, no, no, no.
75
00:02:47,708 --> 00:02:49,669
It's pronounced Wilver Valmarondo.
No, it's not.
76
00:02:49,960 --> 00:02:51,504
So, what, now my motto
doesn't make sense...
77
00:02:51,796 --> 00:02:53,506
"I want to buy a condo
with Wilver Valmarondo"?
78
00:02:53,798 --> 00:02:55,925
It never did. So, Penny, since
you're gonna be up there
79
00:02:56,217 --> 00:02:59,887
being a groomslady, old Steve
can sit with the rest of us.
80
00:03:00,179 --> 00:03:02,098
Mm. Can't
wait to get to know him.
81
00:03:02,390 --> 00:03:04,850
Wait. No one told Jane about
the wedding party situation?
82
00:03:05,142 --> 00:03:06,102
What about it?
83
00:03:06,394 --> 00:03:07,853
Everybody's in it but you.
84
00:03:08,145 --> 00:03:09,438
Is that water?
85
00:03:09,730 --> 00:03:11,440
And that's only
because we organized the party
86
00:03:11,732 --> 00:03:13,401
according to height,
and I already had a 5'8".
87
00:03:13,693 --> 00:03:14,652
I'm so sorry.
88
00:03:14,944 --> 00:03:16,195
That's fine.
89
00:03:16,487 --> 00:03:17,905
Quiet Jane is the scariest Jane.
90
00:03:18,197 --> 00:03:19,907
The world's most dangerous Jane.
91
00:03:20,199 --> 00:03:21,659
Uh...
92
00:03:21,951 --> 00:03:23,911
'Cause I'm not doing it,
and, no,
93
00:03:24,203 --> 00:03:27,039
I will not save the drama
for Michelle Obama, Derrick.
94
00:03:27,331 --> 00:03:28,624
Good-bye.
95
00:03:28,916 --> 00:03:30,835
He wants me to perform
with Mandonnaat his wedding.
96
00:03:31,127 --> 00:03:32,294
Mandonna?!
97
00:03:32,586 --> 00:03:34,046
You guys were
one of my top three favorite
98
00:03:34,338 --> 00:03:36,090
Chicago-based,
all-male Madonna cover bands,
99
00:03:36,382 --> 00:03:38,467
right up there with Ma-Donald
and Material Earl.
100
00:03:38,759 --> 00:03:40,970
Max, come on. You looked great.
You gotta do it, buddy.
101
00:03:41,262 --> 00:03:42,722
Yeah, break out
the Madonna mole.
102
00:03:43,013 --> 00:03:44,849
Mole! Mole! Mole! Mole! Mole!
103
00:03:45,141 --> 00:03:46,183
Guys, enough!
104
00:03:46,475 --> 00:03:47,977
That part of my life is over.
105
00:03:48,269 --> 00:03:51,230
I hung up my cone bra
and headset a long time ago,
106
00:03:51,522 --> 00:03:52,982
though I will always love
Sean Penn,
107
00:03:53,274 --> 00:03:55,067
no matter how creepy and thin
his mustache gets.
108
00:03:55,359 --> 00:03:56,444
Yeah.
He looks like
109
00:03:56,736 --> 00:03:58,487
a hulked-out, 'roided-up
John Waters.
110
00:03:58,779 --> 00:04:00,948
Due to rising energy costs,
we think this program
111
00:04:01,240 --> 00:04:02,575
will help us hedge our exposure.
112
00:04:02,867 --> 00:04:04,410
This plan will never work.
113
00:04:04,702 --> 00:04:06,328
Totally.
114
00:04:06,620 --> 00:04:07,246
I'm cutting
the whole department.
115
00:04:08,289 --> 00:04:10,875
Yeah, you are.
116
00:04:11,167 --> 00:04:13,210
Why are you laughing?
This is your department.
117
00:04:13,502 --> 00:04:16,297
- What?
- What?
118
00:04:16,589 --> 00:04:18,340
Wait.
You're actually firing us?
119
00:04:18,632 --> 00:04:19,592
Yes.
120
00:04:19,884 --> 00:04:20,968
With no warning at all?
121
00:04:21,260 --> 00:04:22,762
I've literally been
warning you for weeks
122
00:04:23,053 --> 00:04:24,638
because I like you.
You're my aside guy.
123
00:04:24,930 --> 00:04:26,348
Oh.
Well, you were.
124
00:04:26,640 --> 00:04:28,851
Now you'd better get out
of here fast.
125
00:04:29,143 --> 00:04:32,021
I'm about to give berger
the bad news.
126
00:04:39,320 --> 00:04:41,280
Wow. This place is sweet.
127
00:04:41,572 --> 00:04:43,866
Luggage carts?
Uh, gracias, señor.
128
00:04:44,158 --> 00:04:47,203
Business center?
Fax you very much.
129
00:04:47,495 --> 00:04:49,163
I regret not traveling more.
130
00:04:49,455 --> 00:04:50,790
It does look expensive.
131
00:04:51,081 --> 00:04:53,083
Okay, sir. We have you booked
in our deluxe suite.
132
00:04:53,375 --> 00:04:54,919
You also ordered
the embroidered pillows,
133
00:04:55,211 --> 00:04:56,587
couples massage,
and a milk bath.
134
00:04:56,879 --> 00:04:58,297
Awesome. Uh, cancel all of that.
Okay.
135
00:04:59,340 --> 00:05:01,717
Dude, what's going on, man?
You're the king of spa services.
136
00:05:02,009 --> 00:05:03,344
Uh... I got fired.
137
00:05:03,636 --> 00:05:05,513
You got fired?
Shh. Yeah.
138
00:05:05,805 --> 00:05:06,931
But you're Brad.
139
00:05:07,223 --> 00:05:08,641
You... you've had a job
since you were 12.
140
00:05:08,933 --> 00:05:10,851
You've had your whole life
planned out.
141
00:05:11,143 --> 00:05:12,311
Yeah, bank $100 mill,
then become
142
00:05:12,603 --> 00:05:13,813
the first black sheriff
on Mars...
143
00:05:14,104 --> 00:05:15,523
Or Arizona.
Whichever comes first.
144
00:05:15,815 --> 00:05:17,107
Oh, come on, man. Mars.
145
00:05:17,399 --> 00:05:18,943
Yeah.
So how'd Jane take it?
146
00:05:19,235 --> 00:05:20,903
So I canceled
all of your spa services.
147
00:05:21,195 --> 00:05:22,404
Canceled?
Everything okay, boo?
148
00:05:22,696 --> 00:05:24,365
Yeah.
I'm just upgrading, baby.
149
00:05:24,657 --> 00:05:25,866
Yeah.
Hey, my man, uh,
150
00:05:26,158 --> 00:05:27,618
throw in a couple
of bottles of champagne
151
00:05:27,910 --> 00:05:28,869
and some smelly cheese.
152
00:05:29,161 --> 00:05:30,120
Okay.
153
00:05:30,412 --> 00:05:31,580
Real smelly.
154
00:05:31,872 --> 00:05:33,624
I want to walk in and
think the maid dumped out...
155
00:05:33,916 --> 00:05:34,875
And then realize, no,
156
00:05:35,167 --> 00:05:36,669
that's just the great cheese
I requested.
157
00:05:36,961 --> 00:05:38,128
Make it stink!
Ooh!
158
00:05:38,420 --> 00:05:39,839
"So bad it's good" cheese.
159
00:05:40,130 --> 00:05:41,131
Yeah, gimme dat funk...
Unh!
160
00:05:41,423 --> 00:05:42,383
And dis funk.
161
00:05:42,675 --> 00:05:43,634
Mwah.
Ohh.
162
00:05:45,219 --> 00:05:47,763
So you didn't tell Jane?
Hell, no, man.
163
00:05:48,055 --> 00:05:49,348
So as far as cheeses go, we have
a great reblochon series,
164
00:05:50,391 --> 00:05:51,767
but the one
I'm most jazzed about is...
165
00:05:52,059 --> 00:05:53,102
Stop talking to me about cheese!
166
00:05:54,770 --> 00:05:56,146
Did you say "jazzed"?
167
00:05:56,438 --> 00:05:57,356
Oh, hi, baby girl!
Where's Steve?
168
00:05:58,399 --> 00:05:59,942
Oh, he's just unpacking
his bags...
169
00:06:00,234 --> 00:06:02,194
In a cabin on Lake Michigan
with his ex-girlfriend,
170
00:06:02,486 --> 00:06:03,445
because we broke up.
171
00:06:03,737 --> 00:06:04,780
I am so glad
I don't get invested
172
00:06:05,072 --> 00:06:06,198
in your boyfriends-of-the-week
173
00:06:06,490 --> 00:06:07,950
that I only hear about
through dialogue.
174
00:06:08,242 --> 00:06:09,743
He said
we weren't "wedding-ready,"
175
00:06:10,035 --> 00:06:11,829
I said, "we need
to reassess this relationship,"
176
00:06:12,121 --> 00:06:13,622
he said, "it's too big a step,"
177
00:06:13,914 --> 00:06:15,791
and then I said, "your sister's
got sloppy yabos."
178
00:06:16,083 --> 00:06:17,585
Why do I always go to slop-yabs?
179
00:06:17,877 --> 00:06:19,044
I mean, why can't it just be,
180
00:06:19,336 --> 00:06:20,796
"let's try
and communicate better"?
181
00:06:21,088 --> 00:06:23,924
You guys,
I think this one's on me.
182
00:06:24,216 --> 00:06:25,175
Just a little.
183
00:06:25,467 --> 00:06:26,677
- Nice gift bags, huh?
- Hey.
184
00:06:26,969 --> 00:06:30,764
I got a... I-I got a chip clip
and, um, some Tums.
185
00:06:31,056 --> 00:06:31,390
What... what did...
186
00:06:32,433 --> 00:06:34,101
What did everyone get
in the wedding party?
187
00:06:34,393 --> 00:06:36,562
Uh... I don't think anything
really special. I mean...
188
00:06:36,854 --> 00:06:38,063
I got a candle...
Hold this.
189
00:06:38,355 --> 00:06:40,232
Some chocolates... whoa!
Beats by Dre headphones!
190
00:06:40,524 --> 00:06:41,525
Oh.
That's cool.
191
00:06:41,817 --> 00:06:42,943
You know what?
'Cause I got...
192
00:06:43,235 --> 00:06:45,487
I got earbuds
by D.J. Jazzy Jeff, so...
193
00:06:45,779 --> 00:06:47,448
I can't... I want to
be in the wedding!
194
00:06:47,740 --> 00:06:50,367
You know what? It's...
It's that stupid 5'8" thing.
195
00:06:50,659 --> 00:06:52,786
Who does Derrick have that's
better than me?
196
00:06:53,078 --> 00:06:54,330
Oh, I think it's, like,
his brother.
197
00:06:54,622 --> 00:06:55,789
I guess they just found
each other
198
00:06:56,081 --> 00:06:57,541
after being separated
as infants.
199
00:06:57,833 --> 00:06:59,126
They just met?
200
00:06:59,418 --> 00:07:00,628
Oh, my god.
It's the Mandonna guys.
201
00:07:00,920 --> 00:07:02,212
Hide me
under your unnecessary hat.
202
00:07:02,504 --> 00:07:03,464
Come on. Please.
203
00:07:03,756 --> 00:07:04,715
What is your deal with them?
204
00:07:05,007 --> 00:07:06,133
Those guys are jerks.
205
00:07:06,425 --> 00:07:07,593
Maxa-billion!
206
00:07:07,885 --> 00:07:09,011
It's good to see ya.
207
00:07:09,303 --> 00:07:10,721
Hey, we're gonna check in.
208
00:07:11,013 --> 00:07:13,182
Then let us treat you to lunch,
all right?
209
00:07:13,474 --> 00:07:14,433
Later.
Peace, brother.
210
00:07:14,725 --> 00:07:15,893
Ugh. You hear them,
trying to push
211
00:07:16,185 --> 00:07:17,728
their liberal lunch agenda
on me?
212
00:07:18,020 --> 00:07:19,271
Elitists.
Eating three meals a day
213
00:07:19,563 --> 00:07:20,981
as opposed
to one daylong "supermeal."
214
00:07:21,273 --> 00:07:22,232
It's disgusting.
215
00:07:22,524 --> 00:07:23,525
All right.
216
00:07:23,817 --> 00:07:25,986
- Ooh.
- Tropic sunset.
217
00:07:27,529 --> 00:07:28,656
No, no, no, no, no.
No, no.
218
00:07:28,948 --> 00:07:30,616
Jane. Ow.
219
00:07:30,908 --> 00:07:33,035
How Jean Dujardin do we
look right now?
220
00:07:33,327 --> 00:07:34,828
So Dujardin.
221
00:07:35,120 --> 00:07:37,831
God, you guys look amazing.
I look like an idiot.
222
00:07:38,123 --> 00:07:41,669
Emergency! Guys...
I need a 5'8".
223
00:07:41,961 --> 00:07:43,879
Oh, my god.
Eric's hag Jan...
224
00:07:44,213 --> 00:07:44,922
You know the one
I was gonna phase out
225
00:07:45,297 --> 00:07:46,924
right after the wedding...
She just came down
226
00:07:47,216 --> 00:07:48,842
with food poisoning.
227
00:07:49,134 --> 00:07:50,844
Foul play, one supposes.
228
00:07:51,136 --> 00:07:52,429
Oh, come on.
Seriously?
229
00:07:52,721 --> 00:07:54,139
She's been with me all day,
except for, like, five minutes.
230
00:07:54,431 --> 00:07:56,892
Five minutes is plenty
of time for the Black Widow.
231
00:07:57,226 --> 00:07:58,143
You call me "The Black Widow"?
Hey, hey, hey!
232
00:07:58,435 --> 00:07:59,603
I don't have time for
this, okay?
233
00:07:59,895 --> 00:08:00,813
The back-and-forth...
It's exhausting.
234
00:08:01,105 --> 00:08:01,897
I don't know what you're saying,
235
00:08:02,189 --> 00:08:03,357
so slow down!
Black Wids.
236
00:08:03,649 --> 00:08:05,234
Yeah. Do you want to be
in this wedding or not?
237
00:08:05,526 --> 00:08:06,777
You show me to my tux.
238
00:08:07,069 --> 00:08:07,486
Come on.
239
00:08:13,826 --> 00:08:15,160
Aah!
Whoa!
240
00:08:15,452 --> 00:08:16,662
Come here,
my little highlighter.
241
00:08:16,954 --> 00:08:18,831
Give me love.
242
00:08:19,123 --> 00:08:20,624
Whoa. I can barely feel
your body in there.
243
00:08:20,916 --> 00:08:21,500
Let's do it, everybody!
Line up. Okay.
244
00:08:22,543 --> 00:08:24,044
This is happening. Here we go.
Okay.
245
00:08:24,336 --> 00:08:26,296
All right. Yeah. Yeah.
246
00:08:28,007 --> 00:08:30,050
Wow. Look at...
Oh, yeah.
247
00:08:30,342 --> 00:08:32,052
No, this is good.
Mm-hmm.
248
00:08:34,013 --> 00:08:35,723
Okay, now do
a silly one! Bleh!
249
00:08:45,232 --> 00:08:47,317
Ohh.
Look at Derrick and Eric.
250
00:08:47,609 --> 00:08:49,319
Or should I say "Derric"?
251
00:08:49,611 --> 00:08:52,906
Or "Erick"? Seriously, we need
to figure this out. Do we?
252
00:08:54,825 --> 00:08:55,784
I have a big favor to ask.
253
00:08:56,076 --> 00:08:57,036
Yeah, I know.
254
00:08:57,327 --> 00:08:58,370
You want me to get out
of this tux
255
00:08:58,662 --> 00:08:59,747
'cause Jan has a deposit on it.
256
00:09:00,039 --> 00:09:01,206
I get it. I'm sad about it.
Am I sad?
257
00:09:01,498 --> 00:09:02,458
Yeah, very sad, but I get it.
258
00:09:02,750 --> 00:09:03,709
I get it. I get it.
259
00:09:04,001 --> 00:09:05,836
No, no, no, no, no, no.
Ahem.
260
00:09:06,128 --> 00:09:07,588
I blew all my money
on the save the date,
261
00:09:07,880 --> 00:09:10,132
and now I don't have enough
for everything at the reception.
262
00:09:10,424 --> 00:09:11,842
Jan was gonna help me
hide it from Derrick,
263
00:09:12,176 --> 00:09:13,302
but she got food poisoning.
264
00:09:13,594 --> 00:09:14,845
I didn't do it!
265
00:09:15,137 --> 00:09:16,889
Nobody said you did.
Right.
266
00:09:17,181 --> 00:09:20,017
I just want Derrick
to have the perfect wedding.
267
00:09:20,309 --> 00:09:22,936
Okay.
Here's what we're gonna do.
268
00:09:23,228 --> 00:09:24,897
First...
269
00:09:25,189 --> 00:09:26,899
We're gonna slow down
these passed apps...
270
00:09:27,191 --> 00:09:28,984
Every five minutes
instead of two.
271
00:09:29,276 --> 00:09:30,527
We're gonna cut
the entrees in half,
272
00:09:30,819 --> 00:09:31,779
and you know what?
273
00:09:32,071 --> 00:09:33,906
I'm gonna need a guy
on the inside.
274
00:09:34,198 --> 00:09:35,282
Oh, yeah.
275
00:09:35,574 --> 00:09:38,535
Look at that soft body.
I can turn him.
276
00:09:38,827 --> 00:09:41,163
You are one wily bitch.
Oh!
277
00:09:41,455 --> 00:09:43,415
Derr-bear, so I'm sure
it's an oversight... yeah.
278
00:09:43,707 --> 00:09:45,084
But I didn't see
my nametag at the table
279
00:09:45,375 --> 00:09:46,627
with all my friends.
Oh.
280
00:09:46,919 --> 00:09:47,878
I mean, I can just sit right...
281
00:09:48,170 --> 00:09:49,296
Oh.
Pentel Pentium processor,
282
00:09:49,588 --> 00:09:50,923
you are the life of any party.
283
00:09:51,215 --> 00:09:52,925
Therefore, I have
a very special table for you.
284
00:09:53,217 --> 00:09:54,760
Please, not the singles table.
285
00:09:55,052 --> 00:09:57,846
The Skype table!
286
00:09:58,138 --> 00:10:00,057
Your job is
to assist and facilitate
287
00:10:00,349 --> 00:10:02,643
the conversation between all
the peeps who couldn't make it.
288
00:10:02,935 --> 00:10:04,603
Oh, my god. It's
the newest thing in weddings.
289
00:10:06,188 --> 00:10:07,481
Had to have it.
All right.
290
00:10:07,773 --> 00:10:09,525
Welcome to the future.
291
00:10:11,068 --> 00:10:13,946
Yay. The Skype table.
292
00:10:14,238 --> 00:10:16,949
This sooks! Am I right?
293
00:10:17,241 --> 00:10:19,326
Oh. Uh, I was talking
to that guy.
294
00:10:19,618 --> 00:10:20,869
Brian.
295
00:10:21,161 --> 00:10:22,454
Uh, could you move me
back toward him?
296
00:10:22,746 --> 00:10:24,706
Oh. Sure.
297
00:10:24,998 --> 00:10:25,958
Hey. I'm Chris.
298
00:10:26,250 --> 00:10:27,417
Oh, hello.
299
00:10:27,709 --> 00:10:28,961
They made you sit
at the Skype table?
300
00:10:29,253 --> 00:10:30,295
I'm sorry.
That's a little sad.
301
00:10:30,587 --> 00:10:32,089
Um... It's okay.
302
00:10:32,381 --> 00:10:34,133
Lucky for me, I get to sit
at the cute girls table.
303
00:10:34,424 --> 00:10:35,759
What? Who, me?
304
00:10:36,051 --> 00:10:38,095
Hey, hey. Troy Donahue,
back off, will ya?
305
00:10:38,387 --> 00:10:40,597
I already called the broad
with the spectacular anthills.
306
00:10:40,889 --> 00:10:42,182
No.
307
00:10:42,474 --> 00:10:43,600
Why would you do that?
308
00:10:43,892 --> 00:10:44,977
It's old-school.
I respect it.
309
00:10:45,269 --> 00:10:46,270
All right.
What's your name?
310
00:10:46,562 --> 00:10:47,521
Penny.
311
00:10:47,813 --> 00:10:48,772
Hi, Penny.
312
00:10:49,064 --> 00:10:50,149
Hello.
313
00:10:50,440 --> 00:10:51,608
You look really pretty today.
314
00:10:59,283 --> 00:11:01,493
Busted! I knew you wanted
to perform with Mandonna.
315
00:11:01,785 --> 00:11:02,744
Nuh-unh.
Yuh-huh.
316
00:11:03,036 --> 00:11:04,663
- Nuh-unh.
- Yuh-huh.
317
00:11:04,955 --> 00:11:06,456
Yuh-huh.
318
00:11:06,748 --> 00:11:08,000
Got you!
319
00:11:08,292 --> 00:11:10,002
Look, those guys are great.
320
00:11:10,294 --> 00:11:11,753
What is the deal?
321
00:11:12,045 --> 00:11:14,339
Fine. It's not them. It's me.
It's just I-I used to be
322
00:11:14,631 --> 00:11:18,010
this, like, super skinny, hot
front man lead singer, you know?
323
00:11:18,302 --> 00:11:20,804
The guys wanted me.
The girls wanted to be me.
324
00:11:21,096 --> 00:11:22,723
I could eat a whole pizza
and three chili dogs
325
00:11:23,015 --> 00:11:24,391
without gaining
a single L.B.
326
00:11:24,683 --> 00:11:26,560
And then I started
eating two whole pizzas
327
00:11:26,852 --> 00:11:28,604
and five chili dogs, and I...
328
00:11:28,896 --> 00:11:30,189
Turned into Tom Arnold.
329
00:11:30,480 --> 00:11:32,608
It's just the Mandonna guys
look amazing,
330
00:11:32,900 --> 00:11:36,069
and I still look like me...
Or Tom Arnold.
331
00:11:36,361 --> 00:11:38,280
Max, you look amazing...
332
00:11:38,572 --> 00:11:39,531
Yeah.
All right?
333
00:11:39,823 --> 00:11:41,033
Well, whatever.
334
00:11:41,325 --> 00:11:44,286
I know everyone thinks
I'm crazy beautiful, Alex,
335
00:11:44,578 --> 00:11:47,122
but I don't feel beautiful
on the inside.
336
00:11:47,414 --> 00:11:48,373
Clink!
337
00:11:48,665 --> 00:11:49,625
Clink!
338
00:11:51,168 --> 00:11:52,753
Mm.
So, Chris...
339
00:11:53,045 --> 00:11:55,047
Hmm? Why couldn't make it
in person to this wedding?
340
00:11:55,339 --> 00:11:56,798
Broke my leg ski-boxing.
341
00:11:57,090 --> 00:11:59,927
It's, uh, it's a sport
invented by energy drinks.
342
00:12:00,219 --> 00:12:02,679
And were you ski-boxing
with your wife
343
00:12:02,971 --> 00:12:04,014
or with your girlfriend or...
344
00:12:04,306 --> 00:12:04,723
I like the way you did that.
345
00:12:05,766 --> 00:12:07,559
You acted like you were
interested in what I do
346
00:12:07,851 --> 00:12:09,853
so you could get the skinny
on my relationship status.
347
00:12:10,145 --> 00:12:11,939
I'm busted. I am a veteran
of the singles table.
348
00:12:12,231 --> 00:12:13,607
As am I.
Thank you.
349
00:12:13,899 --> 00:12:15,609
You know, after I heal up,
uh, maybe we could...
350
00:12:17,152 --> 00:12:18,278
Ohh.
Maybe we could what, Chris?
351
00:12:18,570 --> 00:12:20,072
Chris, maybe we could what?
Go on a picnic?
352
00:12:20,364 --> 00:12:21,323
Watch each other sleep?
353
00:12:21,615 --> 00:12:22,574
Ohh! I have
so many friends.
354
00:12:22,866 --> 00:12:23,992
Pennel to the metal, big favor.
355
00:12:24,284 --> 00:12:25,702
Ohh. My uncle Jerry...
He loves dancing.
356
00:12:25,994 --> 00:12:27,955
Will you please take him
for a spin on the dance floor?
357
00:12:28,247 --> 00:12:29,957
Please, please? Yes, yes?
Great.
358
00:12:30,249 --> 00:12:31,416
Chris?
Here you go.
359
00:12:31,708 --> 00:12:33,252
P.S., his favorite dance is
the lambada...
360
00:12:33,543 --> 00:12:35,003
And it's not forbidden here.
361
00:12:35,295 --> 00:12:37,089
Okay?
Watch. Bye-ee.
362
00:12:37,381 --> 00:12:38,423
Chris?
363
00:12:38,715 --> 00:12:40,842
Let's lambada, baby.
364
00:12:41,134 --> 00:12:43,595
Hey. So how's
the cover-up coming?
365
00:12:43,887 --> 00:12:44,763
Well, I am almost done
doubling these apps.
366
00:12:45,806 --> 00:12:47,140
I'm turning
these pigs in a blanket
367
00:12:47,432 --> 00:12:48,392
into piglets in a binky.
368
00:12:48,684 --> 00:12:49,851
So I actually wanted
to talk to you
369
00:12:50,143 --> 00:12:51,853
about something very...
You know, I gotta say,
370
00:12:52,145 --> 00:12:53,605
I have mixed feelings
about helping Eric
371
00:12:53,897 --> 00:12:55,565
hide all this from Derrick
on his wedding day.
372
00:12:55,857 --> 00:12:57,067
Mm. I mean, they
say money issues
373
00:12:57,359 --> 00:12:59,945
are the number one source
of marital problems.
374
00:13:00,237 --> 00:13:01,405
Weird!
375
00:13:01,697 --> 00:13:03,240
Anyway, I was just saying,
uh, don't forget
376
00:13:03,532 --> 00:13:04,866
our hot stone massages tomorrow.
377
00:13:05,158 --> 00:13:06,118
I heard they're great here.
378
00:13:06,410 --> 00:13:07,536
This look like brie?
379
00:13:07,828 --> 00:13:09,121
Yeah, that looks like brie.
380
00:13:09,413 --> 00:13:11,290
Good, 'cause it's a napkin.
381
00:13:11,581 --> 00:13:13,333
That's weird, babe.
382
00:13:18,547 --> 00:13:21,800
Hey, sweetheart, nice moves.
383
00:13:22,092 --> 00:13:24,761
Hey, what kind of dance floor
are they working with, parquet?
384
00:13:25,053 --> 00:13:26,013
Um, I don't know.
385
00:13:26,305 --> 00:13:27,723
Uh, tilt me down so I can see.
386
00:13:28,015 --> 00:13:29,141
Okay.
Uh, a little more.
387
00:13:31,059 --> 00:13:33,895
Uh... oh, no, no, no.
Up a smidge.
388
00:13:34,187 --> 00:13:37,107
Ohh! Seriously?
Uncle Jerry, really?
389
00:13:37,399 --> 00:13:39,192
What can I say? You've got
a set of top-notch cans.
390
00:13:39,484 --> 00:13:43,113
Fine. Okay.
Take a good, long look.
391
00:13:43,405 --> 00:13:45,157
Keep your hands where I can
see 'em, please.
392
00:13:45,449 --> 00:13:49,536
Mm, mm, mm.
Mercy, mercy, mercy.
393
00:13:51,913 --> 00:13:53,832
Hey, baby girl.
Hey.
394
00:13:54,124 --> 00:13:57,252
Listen, I came here to give you
a world-class pep talk.
395
00:13:57,544 --> 00:13:59,254
That's a weird way
to set it up, but okay.
396
00:13:59,546 --> 00:14:01,757
Max, life is a mystery.
397
00:14:02,049 --> 00:14:06,094
♪ Life is a mystery ♪
398
00:14:06,386 --> 00:14:07,929
Everyone must stand alone.
399
00:14:08,221 --> 00:14:11,558
♪ Everyone must stand alone ♪
Wait. Wait, wait, wait. Shh!
400
00:14:11,850 --> 00:14:13,643
I'm sorry. That doesn't fit
with this pep talk,
401
00:14:13,935 --> 00:14:15,645
"Life is a mystery"
doesn't make sense either,
402
00:14:15,937 --> 00:14:17,189
now that I'm thinking about it,
403
00:14:17,481 --> 00:14:19,441
but anyway, all of us are here
to support you.
404
00:14:19,733 --> 00:14:22,194
Guys, your harmonies are
intoxicating,
405
00:14:22,486 --> 00:14:24,946
except for you, pitchy Pete.
Pitchy as always, bud.
406
00:14:25,238 --> 00:14:27,532
It's just I'm not
the same guy I used to be.
407
00:14:27,824 --> 00:14:29,493
Max, none of us are.
408
00:14:29,785 --> 00:14:33,205
Think this hair is real?
Cost me 25 grand.
409
00:14:33,497 --> 00:14:35,290
Can I be honest with you?
I knew it wasn't real.
410
00:14:35,582 --> 00:14:37,542
Max, I've had
three lap-band surgeries.
411
00:14:37,834 --> 00:14:39,294
Now the third one
I had to go to Cooba to get
412
00:14:39,586 --> 00:14:40,837
'cause it's super illegal.
413
00:14:41,129 --> 00:14:42,964
I have missed
the way you say "Cuba."
414
00:14:43,256 --> 00:14:44,758
You see? We all have issues,
but together,
415
00:14:45,050 --> 00:14:46,385
you guys are still amazing!
416
00:14:46,676 --> 00:14:48,470
And I know one thing
that still fits like a glove.
417
00:14:48,762 --> 00:14:49,888
Oh, I hope
it's not a real glove,
418
00:14:50,180 --> 00:14:51,306
'cause my hands are hella swoll.
419
00:14:51,598 --> 00:14:52,891
I ate a bunch
of cured meats and...
420
00:14:53,934 --> 00:14:55,143
I don't know.
421
00:14:55,435 --> 00:14:56,895
I can't perform with you guys.
422
00:14:57,187 --> 00:14:58,230
I didn't even bring my costume.
423
00:14:58,522 --> 00:14:58,897
Yes, I did! I'm in!
424
00:14:59,940 --> 00:15:01,358
Yeah!
425
00:15:01,650 --> 00:15:04,778
Pete, come on, man!
You're even pitchy on that!
426
00:15:05,070 --> 00:15:06,822
And then uncle Jerry said,
427
00:15:07,114 --> 00:15:09,950
"How many more dances
till I get to see the knish?"
428
00:15:10,242 --> 00:15:13,453
Oof! A fitting end
to the year of Penny.
429
00:15:13,745 --> 00:15:15,956
Listen, Penny, the odds
were stacked against you.
430
00:15:16,248 --> 00:15:18,125
Who finds love
at the Skype table?
431
00:15:18,417 --> 00:15:20,293
Come on, Pen. You might not
meet somebody tonight,
432
00:15:20,585 --> 00:15:22,963
but you will meet someone.
433
00:15:23,255 --> 00:15:24,756
You promise?
Yes...
434
00:15:25,048 --> 00:15:26,508
As long as you promise
to stop slobbering
435
00:15:26,800 --> 00:15:27,968
all over the champagne.
436
00:15:28,260 --> 00:15:29,219
I can't promise that.
437
00:15:29,511 --> 00:15:30,971
Penny, you are such a catch.
438
00:15:31,263 --> 00:15:34,266
I mean, you are smart,
funny, beautiful...
439
00:15:34,558 --> 00:15:36,476
Well, yeah. Sexy, and you
have always had my back,
440
00:15:36,768 --> 00:15:37,769
and I appreciate it.
441
00:15:38,061 --> 00:15:39,020
Of course. I love you.
442
00:15:39,312 --> 00:15:41,690
I love you, too.
443
00:15:41,982 --> 00:15:45,360
I knew there was one missing!
444
00:15:45,652 --> 00:15:46,945
Are you two trying to ruin
my wedding?
445
00:15:47,237 --> 00:15:48,989
The... the wedding?
Are you trying to ruin the w...
446
00:15:49,281 --> 00:15:50,490
Are you trying to ruin
the wedding?
447
00:15:52,284 --> 00:15:53,994
Don't eat the brie.
448
00:15:54,286 --> 00:15:57,038
Brad! All right!
449
00:15:58,498 --> 00:15:59,291
Okay, so we can double
the champagne
450
00:15:59,583 --> 00:16:00,876
by mixing it with antacids
451
00:16:01,168 --> 00:16:03,044
and the bottle of whiskey you're
gonna steal from the Irish wake.
452
00:16:03,336 --> 00:16:04,421
So you're sending a black guy
453
00:16:04,713 --> 00:16:06,173
to an Irish funeral
to steal their booze?
454
00:16:06,465 --> 00:16:07,549
Good point. You know what?
455
00:16:07,841 --> 00:16:09,342
I have foundation
and powder in the room.
456
00:16:09,634 --> 00:16:12,137
We will do a real quick
white face makeover.
457
00:16:12,429 --> 00:16:13,472
What am I saying?
458
00:16:13,763 --> 00:16:14,723
What is wrong with me?
459
00:16:15,015 --> 00:16:16,266
I mean, I should just
460
00:16:16,558 --> 00:16:17,809
tell Eric to tell Derrick
the truth.
461
00:16:18,101 --> 00:16:19,519
I mean, part of marriage
is being honest
462
00:16:19,811 --> 00:16:21,563
and no judgments, you know?
463
00:16:21,855 --> 00:16:24,024
Ohh. I'm so glad
you said that,
464
00:16:24,316 --> 00:16:25,567
'cause I have something
to tell you.
465
00:16:25,859 --> 00:16:27,027
Anything, boo.
466
00:16:27,319 --> 00:16:28,820
I got fired.
What the...
467
00:16:29,112 --> 00:16:30,947
Funky cold Medina!
468
00:16:31,239 --> 00:16:33,658
These pants
do not want to close!
469
00:16:33,950 --> 00:16:35,160
Did Dave said he loved you?
470
00:16:35,452 --> 00:16:37,162
Well, we both said it,
and then there was, like,
471
00:16:37,454 --> 00:16:37,996
this, like, weird moment.
472
00:16:39,039 --> 00:16:40,373
So what?
We all love each other.
473
00:16:40,665 --> 00:16:41,875
A while back,
474
00:16:42,167 --> 00:16:45,545
my therapist said
that I might sort of have
475
00:16:45,837 --> 00:16:47,422
some unresolved feelings
for Dave.
476
00:16:47,714 --> 00:16:48,715
What?
477
00:16:49,007 --> 00:16:50,300
I know!
478
00:16:50,592 --> 00:16:51,635
Penny...
479
00:16:51,927 --> 00:16:53,386
One of them went up in my body.
480
00:16:53,678 --> 00:16:54,888
Ohh. What do I do?
481
00:16:55,180 --> 00:16:56,932
I don't know. I...
You...
482
00:16:57,224 --> 00:16:58,600
I don't know. Talk to Dave?
483
00:16:58,892 --> 00:17:00,018
Talk to Dave? I mean, I'd have
to talk to Alex first.
484
00:17:01,061 --> 00:17:02,145
Oh, my god.
485
00:17:02,437 --> 00:17:03,647
Okay, so talk to Alex.
I don't know.
486
00:17:03,939 --> 00:17:05,649
I'm really focused
on the pants here.
487
00:17:05,941 --> 00:17:08,360
Look, I need you to suck in
big-time, buddy.
488
00:17:08,652 --> 00:17:10,403
Pen, I'm sucked in.
489
00:17:10,695 --> 00:17:12,697
Oh.
Okay, this is gonna hurt.
490
00:17:12,989 --> 00:17:13,949
Okay.
491
00:17:15,784 --> 00:17:16,743
Yes!
Got it!
492
00:17:17,035 --> 00:17:18,495
Ohh.
Whoo-hoo!
493
00:17:18,787 --> 00:17:20,622
So what are you gonna do?
494
00:17:20,914 --> 00:17:22,082
I'm gonna talk to Alex.
495
00:17:22,374 --> 00:17:23,667
Okay.
496
00:17:23,959 --> 00:17:24,960
Oh, no.
497
00:17:26,670 --> 00:17:27,629
I gotta poop.
498
00:17:34,803 --> 00:17:36,555
Hey.
499
00:17:36,846 --> 00:17:38,098
Hey. I was looking for you.
500
00:17:38,390 --> 00:17:40,642
Um, could we... could I talk
to you for a second?
501
00:17:40,934 --> 00:17:41,893
Yeah.
502
00:17:42,185 --> 00:17:43,478
Al, get back in here.
503
00:17:43,770 --> 00:17:45,689
Oh! Um, I didn't know
that... that Dave was here.
504
00:17:45,981 --> 00:17:47,148
I'm sorry. I'm gonna go.
505
00:17:47,440 --> 00:17:48,650
No, wait.
Did you need something?
506
00:17:48,942 --> 00:17:50,485
Um, you know what?
I just realized
507
00:17:50,777 --> 00:17:51,945
it's really stupid.
It's...
508
00:17:52,237 --> 00:17:53,363
It's really stupid.
509
00:17:53,655 --> 00:17:54,781
Oh, was it that
the concierge guy
510
00:17:55,073 --> 00:17:56,491
looked like
an Indian Martin Lawrence?
511
00:17:56,783 --> 00:17:58,034
'Cause I thought he did.
512
00:17:58,326 --> 00:17:59,953
Yes. That was it.
"Damn, Gina!"
513
00:18:00,245 --> 00:18:01,538
"Damn, Gina."
Yes. Okay.
514
00:18:01,830 --> 00:18:02,831
All right.
Okay. Bye-bye.
515
00:18:03,123 --> 00:18:04,499
See ya in a bit. Bye-ee!
Okay. Bye-ee!
516
00:18:06,042 --> 00:18:07,002
Was that Penny?
517
00:18:07,294 --> 00:18:08,837
Yeah.
Here. Let me do that.
518
00:18:09,129 --> 00:18:10,088
Oh, thanks.
519
00:18:10,380 --> 00:18:11,506
Yeah.
520
00:18:11,798 --> 00:18:13,258
Yeah, she was just acting
521
00:18:13,550 --> 00:18:14,509
a little weird.
522
00:18:14,801 --> 00:18:15,760
Huh.
Yeah.
523
00:18:16,052 --> 00:18:17,178
You don't think she thought
524
00:18:17,470 --> 00:18:19,681
maybe something was going on
between us, do you?
525
00:18:19,973 --> 00:18:21,933
No, I'm just helping you get
a stain out of your shirt.
526
00:18:22,225 --> 00:18:23,727
Why would she think
something's going on?
527
00:18:24,019 --> 00:18:24,978
I don't know.
528
00:18:25,270 --> 00:18:26,688
Is something going on?
529
00:18:26,980 --> 00:18:28,148
I don't know. Is there?
530
00:18:28,440 --> 00:18:29,524
I don't know.
531
00:18:29,816 --> 00:18:30,817
You don't know?
I don't know.
532
00:18:31,109 --> 00:18:32,402
I don't know either.
533
00:18:39,868 --> 00:18:42,078
I am so sorry
that I reacted that way.
534
00:18:42,370 --> 00:18:45,332
I was just surprised,
and why wouldn't you tell me?
535
00:18:45,624 --> 00:18:46,791
I just didn't want to worry you.
536
00:18:47,083 --> 00:18:48,293
I have never once worried
about you
537
00:18:48,585 --> 00:18:50,211
or your ability
to take care of us.
538
00:18:50,503 --> 00:18:52,088
What am I gonna do now?
539
00:18:52,380 --> 00:18:53,798
It's like, for the first time
in my life,
540
00:18:54,090 --> 00:18:55,467
I don't know
what's gonna happen next.
541
00:18:55,759 --> 00:18:58,345
None of us do. I mean,
that's kind of the beauty of it.
542
00:18:58,637 --> 00:19:00,680
Look at me. Two hours ago,
I wasn't even in this wedding,
543
00:19:00,972 --> 00:19:02,599
and now I run this bitch...
544
00:19:02,891 --> 00:19:04,351
And one of these days,
545
00:19:04,643 --> 00:19:07,354
you are gonna run
whatever bitch you want to run.
546
00:19:07,646 --> 00:19:08,938
Thanks, babe.
547
00:19:09,230 --> 00:19:11,650
So how did the old, uh,
Derrick-and-Eric thing go?
548
00:19:11,941 --> 00:19:13,360
Oh, I made 'em talk it out.
549
00:19:16,863 --> 00:19:19,407
Black Wids doesn't leave
anything undone.
550
00:19:19,699 --> 00:19:20,659
No, you don't.
551
00:19:20,950 --> 00:19:22,369
Mnh-mnh.
552
00:19:29,876 --> 00:19:30,835
Penny.
553
00:19:31,127 --> 00:19:32,003
Chris.
554
00:19:34,047 --> 00:19:34,756
Hey.
555
00:19:35,131 --> 00:19:36,091
Chris! How did you...
556
00:19:36,383 --> 00:19:38,218
I live here
in... in Chicago. I j...
557
00:19:38,510 --> 00:19:39,719
When the laptop went out,
I was afraid that
558
00:19:40,011 --> 00:19:41,471
I wouldn't see you again,
so I had a friend drive me over.
559
00:19:41,763 --> 00:19:45,517
That is really just...
Amah-zing.
560
00:19:46,142 --> 00:19:47,394
How do you feel about dancing...
561
00:19:47,686 --> 00:19:48,937
Uh, w-with a guy
in a... in a wheelchair?
562
00:19:49,229 --> 00:19:50,230
I love it.
Oh, my prom date was
563
00:19:50,522 --> 00:19:51,856
one of those
murderball champions,
564
00:19:52,148 --> 00:19:52,732
so I'm here. I'm in.
Get out. I love that game.
565
00:19:53,066 --> 00:19:54,401
Have you played?
It's bringing back mems.
566
00:19:54,734 --> 00:19:55,235
Yeah, a lot of contact,
567
00:19:55,527 --> 00:19:56,528
but really fun.
Chris.
568
00:19:56,820 --> 00:19:57,487
It's good stuff. Oh, my god.
I can't believe...
569
00:19:57,779 --> 00:19:59,030
That's... okay, that's, uh...
Ohh.
570
00:19:59,322 --> 00:20:01,157
Oops, so sorry.
This is gonna be fun.
40958
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