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1
00:00:02,251 --> 00:00:03,753
Hey, guys, listen up.
2
00:00:04,045 --> 00:00:05,922
I think I finally figured out
what the store needs.
3
00:00:06,214 --> 00:00:07,173
Customers? Oh!
4
00:00:08,799 --> 00:00:10,635
I'm adding a baby clothing line.
5
00:00:10,927 --> 00:00:12,053
I think it's gonna be a hit,
guys.
6
00:00:12,345 --> 00:00:13,804
Look how cute this is.
Aww.
7
00:00:14,096 --> 00:00:16,557
Actually, what your store really
needs is a better men's section.
8
00:00:16,849 --> 00:00:18,017
She doesn't
have a men's section.
9
00:00:18,309 --> 00:00:19,310
Yes, she does.
10
00:00:19,602 --> 00:00:21,270
That shirtdress wasn't for Jane?
11
00:00:21,562 --> 00:00:22,730
That shirt was a dress?
Duh.
12
00:00:23,022 --> 00:00:24,440
Damn it.
Hey, Brad. I forgot my wallet.
13
00:00:24,732 --> 00:00:26,400
Mind spotting me for my burger?
No problemo.
14
00:00:26,692 --> 00:00:28,361
Dave, I forgot my wallet.
You mind spotting me
15
00:00:28,653 --> 00:00:30,154
for half of next month's rent?
Problemo.
16
00:00:30,446 --> 00:00:31,656
Again?
Max, what's the deal?
17
00:00:31,948 --> 00:00:32,990
Sorry. I tried to get cash.
18
00:00:33,282 --> 00:00:34,534
The bank wouldn't
let me deposit.
19
00:00:34,825 --> 00:00:36,536
You mean withdrawal?
No, I mean deposit.
20
00:00:36,827 --> 00:00:38,496
What kind of bank won't
let you make a deposit?
21
00:00:38,788 --> 00:00:40,081
Give it a minute.
22
00:00:43,626 --> 00:00:45,545
It is gross
that banks make up rules
23
00:00:45,836 --> 00:00:47,255
about what you can do
with your money.
24
00:00:47,547 --> 00:00:49,131
It's ridiculous.
She'll get there.
25
00:00:49,423 --> 00:00:50,967
I can't believe you'd
do that to make money.
26
00:00:51,259 --> 00:00:53,052
When you love what you do,
it's not about money.
27
00:00:53,344 --> 00:00:55,221
I could use that 100 bucks.
So, what happened?
28
00:00:55,513 --> 00:00:56,055
Me and the bank
got off on the wrong foot.
29
00:00:57,098 --> 00:00:59,433
There was a miscommunication
about my donor profile video.
30
00:00:59,725 --> 00:01:00,977
Max Blum.
31
00:01:01,269 --> 00:01:02,895
I don't know why
you would want this on video,
32
00:01:03,187 --> 00:01:05,982
but whatever floats your boat.
33
00:01:06,274 --> 00:01:07,316
Chilling.
No, bueno.
34
00:01:07,608 --> 00:01:09,151
Bad move.
I still don't get it.
35
00:01:09,443 --> 00:01:10,611
A hundred bucks?
That's it?
36
00:01:10,903 --> 00:01:13,990
I made 15 G's selling one egg,
37
00:01:14,282 --> 00:01:15,700
one time,
freshman year in college.
38
00:01:15,992 --> 00:01:18,202
I gotta get my hands on an egg.
What? You really did that?
39
00:01:18,494 --> 00:01:20,288
Yes. It was a wonderful gift
to give a family.
40
00:01:20,580 --> 00:01:21,080
She wanted to go to Cabo.
41
00:01:22,123 --> 00:01:25,167
Oh, it's a sperm bank.
She's on the page.
42
00:01:25,459 --> 00:01:26,752
There's our little cutie.
Finally.
43
00:01:27,044 --> 00:01:29,213
Why would you deposit money
in a sperm bank?
44
00:01:29,505 --> 00:01:31,632
Oh, we've gone back.
We've lost her.
45
00:01:46,856 --> 00:01:49,734
And now,
for my favorite dessert:
46
00:01:50,026 --> 00:01:52,570
sex.
47
00:01:52,862 --> 00:01:55,906
Let's get you out
of those pants.
48
00:01:56,198 --> 00:01:58,242
And into that dress.
49
00:01:58,534 --> 00:02:00,453
Okay, how did you not know
that that was a dress?
50
00:02:00,745 --> 00:02:02,038
I had my suspicions.
51
00:02:02,330 --> 00:02:04,206
But the price was right
and daddy likes a deep tuck.
52
00:02:04,498 --> 00:02:06,375
God, you make it work.
I'll make you work.
53
00:02:09,086 --> 00:02:10,296
You know, babe,
54
00:02:10,588 --> 00:02:12,256
I gotta say, at first,
I was kind of freaked out
55
00:02:12,548 --> 00:02:13,924
that you donated that egg.
56
00:02:14,216 --> 00:02:15,551
But then I really thought
about it,
57
00:02:15,843 --> 00:02:17,928
and that was just an amazing
thing to do.
58
00:02:18,220 --> 00:02:20,056
Not a big deal.
But it is.
59
00:02:20,348 --> 00:02:22,099
I mean,
you gave those people a child.
60
00:02:22,391 --> 00:02:24,393
Yeah, maybe. Most of the time
those things don't take.
61
00:02:24,685 --> 00:02:25,728
Oh, come on.
62
00:02:26,020 --> 00:02:27,813
An overachieving egg like yours?
63
00:02:28,105 --> 00:02:30,358
There's no way there's not a
little Jane out there somewhere.
64
00:02:30,650 --> 00:02:34,195
I can see her now, asking
the teacher for more homework.
65
00:02:34,487 --> 00:02:35,821
Yeah.
66
00:02:36,113 --> 00:02:38,532
Lobbying the school board to
convert to the metric system.
67
00:02:38,824 --> 00:02:40,910
It just makes more sense.
If I knew I had a mini me
68
00:02:41,202 --> 00:02:42,411
out there somewhere,
69
00:02:42,703 --> 00:02:44,413
I would be obsessed.
Yeah.
70
00:02:44,705 --> 00:02:49,043
But not you. You just move
forward and never look back.
71
00:02:49,335 --> 00:02:50,753
Now let's say we get out
of these dresses
72
00:02:51,045 --> 00:02:52,088
and move forward together.
73
00:02:52,380 --> 00:02:54,382
I mean, you can look back
a couple of times,
74
00:02:54,674 --> 00:02:56,842
in between spankings.
75
00:02:57,134 --> 00:02:59,178
How can you think about sex
76
00:02:59,470 --> 00:03:01,639
when I have an egg baby
out there?
77
00:03:01,931 --> 00:03:04,266
So I got all pretty for nothing?
78
00:03:07,228 --> 00:03:08,187
Hey.
79
00:03:08,479 --> 00:03:09,522
Hey!
80
00:03:09,814 --> 00:03:11,023
What are...?
What are you doing back
81
00:03:11,315 --> 00:03:12,525
from the Taste
of Kenosha contest?
82
00:03:12,817 --> 00:03:15,319
I thought it was all weekend.
Sewage leak.
83
00:03:15,611 --> 00:03:18,030
By 8 a.m., it was more like
the Smell of Kenosha.
84
00:03:18,322 --> 00:03:19,907
Ah, ha, ha.
85
00:03:20,199 --> 00:03:22,493
Whatever, dude.
The joke killed at the festival.
86
00:03:22,785 --> 00:03:23,786
Uh, uh, um...
87
00:03:24,078 --> 00:03:25,204
Hey. What are you doing now?
88
00:03:25,496 --> 00:03:27,665
Let's go get a beer.
It's 10 a.m.
89
00:03:27,957 --> 00:03:30,000
We could go to the airport,
get Tom Clancy novels,
90
00:03:30,292 --> 00:03:32,002
and get hammered.
Max, I've been up all night.
91
00:03:32,294 --> 00:03:33,587
All I wanna do is go to bed.
92
00:03:33,879 --> 00:03:36,006
Yeah, it's tiring.
What are you doing?
93
00:03:36,298 --> 00:03:38,509
I... I didn't stretch
after I lifted,
94
00:03:38,801 --> 00:03:40,177
What are you doing?
My lats are tight.
95
00:03:40,469 --> 00:03:42,388
Oh! Don't go in there.
96
00:03:43,556 --> 00:03:44,890
What the hell?
97
00:03:45,182 --> 00:03:47,268
Who are you?
Who are you? Who are they?
98
00:03:47,560 --> 00:03:48,978
Who are you?
What are you doing here?
99
00:03:49,270 --> 00:03:50,354
You rented us this room
100
00:03:50,646 --> 00:03:52,898
after months
of online correspondence.
101
00:03:53,190 --> 00:03:55,192
Max, I leave for 24 hours
102
00:03:55,484 --> 00:03:57,361
and you turn my room
into a German sex hostel?
103
00:03:57,653 --> 00:03:58,988
Well, I just ordered a pizza,
104
00:03:59,280 --> 00:04:01,240
so technically,
this is a bed-and-breakfast.
105
00:04:06,120 --> 00:04:08,456
Hey.
Wow.
106
00:04:08,748 --> 00:04:10,958
This place hasn't been this busy
since before you owned it.
107
00:04:11,250 --> 00:04:12,710
And it was that awesome
cell phone store.
108
00:04:13,002 --> 00:04:14,462
I know and only two people
have asked me
109
00:04:14,754 --> 00:04:16,672
to upgrade their data plan.
Check out the T-shirts.
110
00:04:16,964 --> 00:04:18,215
They're flying off the racks.
111
00:04:18,507 --> 00:04:20,509
Love it.
112
00:04:20,801 --> 00:04:23,804
And directly onto their racks.
113
00:04:24,096 --> 00:04:25,181
So cute.
Daddy's girl.
114
00:04:25,473 --> 00:04:26,432
Oh, God.
I know.
115
00:04:26,724 --> 00:04:27,975
My Samantha's
getting really good.
116
00:04:28,267 --> 00:04:29,894
No, no. They're buying them
for themselves.
117
00:04:30,186 --> 00:04:31,187
I gotta stop them.
No, no, no.
118
00:04:31,479 --> 00:04:32,897
You can't talk to them.
Why wouldn't I?
119
00:04:33,189 --> 00:04:34,732
High-school girls are scary,
okay?
120
00:04:35,024 --> 00:04:36,442
And look at them,
they're mean girls.
121
00:04:36,734 --> 00:04:38,110
Should we get a shirt for Tracy?
122
00:04:38,402 --> 00:04:40,905
We could, but did you see how
fat she got over the weekend?
123
00:04:41,197 --> 00:04:43,532
I know, and it's super sad,
because her dad's so poor.
124
00:04:43,824 --> 00:04:45,367
They're like the girls
that used to hang out
125
00:04:45,659 --> 00:04:47,203
in the hall,
on the way to Drama Department.
126
00:04:47,495 --> 00:04:49,038
I was so scared
of getting on their bad side,
127
00:04:49,330 --> 00:04:51,624
I pretended to be a Mexican
exchange student for a year.
128
00:04:51,916 --> 00:04:54,794
Oh, that's why you put that
red, white and green spoiler
129
00:04:55,085 --> 00:04:56,170
on your mom's Tercel.
130
00:04:56,462 --> 00:04:58,798
Okay, Penny,
that was a long time ago.
131
00:04:59,089 --> 00:05:00,341
We're adults now.
132
00:05:00,633 --> 00:05:02,384
We do not have to be afraid
of high-school girls.
133
00:05:02,676 --> 00:05:04,220
You know what?
You're right.
134
00:05:06,388 --> 00:05:07,473
Excuse me.
135
00:05:07,765 --> 00:05:08,849
What?
136
00:05:09,141 --> 00:05:10,351
Dios mio.
137
00:05:10,643 --> 00:05:12,728
Uh, this is my store.
138
00:05:13,020 --> 00:05:14,480
Really?
139
00:05:14,772 --> 00:05:15,731
You, like, actually own it?
140
00:05:16,023 --> 00:05:18,651
Yeah.
Oh, my God.
141
00:05:18,943 --> 00:05:21,320
We were just saying
about how awesome this place is.
142
00:05:21,612 --> 00:05:23,030
You look too young
to own your own store.
143
00:05:23,322 --> 00:05:24,490
I do?
Yeah.
144
00:05:24,782 --> 00:05:25,991
Totally.
It's really cool.
145
00:05:26,283 --> 00:05:27,409
And your friend's so cool.
146
00:05:27,701 --> 00:05:29,912
I love everything
you're wearing.
147
00:05:30,204 --> 00:05:31,372
You do?
148
00:05:31,664 --> 00:05:32,915
Will you help us pick
some stuff out?
149
00:05:33,207 --> 00:05:35,376
I wanna buy everything.
I wanna look like you.
150
00:05:35,668 --> 00:05:36,794
I could spend
the whole day here.
151
00:05:37,086 --> 00:05:38,337
Yes!
Oh, my God. I love us.
152
00:05:38,629 --> 00:05:41,465
Come here, come here, come here.
153
00:05:41,757 --> 00:05:43,801
I can't believe you rent out
my room when I'm gone.
154
00:05:44,093 --> 00:05:45,719
No, wait,
that's totally believable.
155
00:05:46,011 --> 00:05:47,263
Give me a break, man.
156
00:05:47,555 --> 00:05:49,348
You know I lost all my money
when the bubble burst.
157
00:05:49,640 --> 00:05:51,642
Oh, here we go again.
The Beanie Baby bubble was real.
158
00:05:51,934 --> 00:05:53,477
I was worth 1 .3 million
on paper
159
00:05:53,769 --> 00:05:55,145
by the time
I was in seventh grade.
160
00:05:55,437 --> 00:05:57,106
My parents begged me
to sell, but I fell in love
161
00:05:57,398 --> 00:05:58,941
with every last one
of those Beanie Babies.
162
00:05:59,233 --> 00:06:02,069
Yeah. Maybe it's time
you get a real job, Max.
163
00:06:02,361 --> 00:06:04,196
You know I can't work
for the man.
164
00:06:04,488 --> 00:06:05,739
Oh, there is one man
I could work for.
165
00:06:06,031 --> 00:06:07,449
Max, how many times
do I have to tell you?
166
00:06:07,741 --> 00:06:09,410
Scottie Pippen
is not in a financial position
167
00:06:09,702 --> 00:06:10,786
to hire a sassy butler.
168
00:06:11,078 --> 00:06:12,705
That is just
my dream-slash-reality pitch.
169
00:06:12,997 --> 00:06:14,290
There is another man
I could work for.
170
00:06:14,582 --> 00:06:16,458
A man with a penchant
for V-necks
171
00:06:16,750 --> 00:06:17,710
and motorcycle jackets.
172
00:06:18,002 --> 00:06:19,169
Me?
Yes, you.
173
00:06:19,461 --> 00:06:20,713
We could work together
on the truck.
174
00:06:21,005 --> 00:06:22,548
You say how busy you are,
that you need help.
175
00:06:22,840 --> 00:06:25,342
I know, but I don't think...
We would be the dream team.
176
00:06:25,634 --> 00:06:28,012
Just you and me, hanging out
all day making sandwiches.
177
00:06:28,304 --> 00:06:30,890
It'll be like Cocktail. Come
on, Cocktail.
178
00:07:09,803 --> 00:07:11,764
Great day, man.
Great day.
179
00:07:12,056 --> 00:07:13,223
All right,
I'll see you tomorrow.
180
00:07:13,515 --> 00:07:15,517
Max, it's only been 20 minutes,
181
00:07:15,809 --> 00:07:17,269
and you really
gotta clean that up.
182
00:07:20,147 --> 00:07:22,524
Clean it up?
183
00:07:25,736 --> 00:07:28,530
Oh, okay. Okay, you...
You get the mop.
184
00:07:28,822 --> 00:07:30,908
I'll go get the b...
Oh, you're serious?
185
00:07:31,200 --> 00:07:32,201
Yes.
186
00:07:43,295 --> 00:07:44,922
Are you sure this is it?
187
00:07:45,214 --> 00:07:46,465
Seems like a weird neighborhood
188
00:07:46,757 --> 00:07:48,133
for a silk boxers factory
outlet.
189
00:07:48,425 --> 00:07:49,593
Brad, we're not boxer shopping.
190
00:07:49,885 --> 00:07:51,220
We're looking for Dora.
Who?
191
00:07:51,512 --> 00:07:53,555
I found the couple online
who I donated my egg to.
192
00:07:53,847 --> 00:07:55,557
And the egg is 11,
its name is Dora,
193
00:07:55,849 --> 00:07:58,560
and the family lives right
around here.
194
00:07:58,852 --> 00:08:00,020
Put these on.
No.
195
00:08:00,312 --> 00:08:01,271
Yes, put them on.
No.
196
00:08:01,563 --> 00:08:03,607
Just put them on.
No. Oh.
197
00:08:05,109 --> 00:08:06,402
This is still a bad idea.
198
00:08:06,694 --> 00:08:07,486
The only place this leads
is Melissa Joan Hart
199
00:08:08,529 --> 00:08:09,822
playing you in a Lifetime movie.
200
00:08:10,114 --> 00:08:11,949
You're the one
who put the idea in my head.
201
00:08:12,241 --> 00:08:13,492
And really?
Really, Melissa Joan Hart?
202
00:08:14,535 --> 00:08:16,620
Couldn't be Reese Witherspoon,
Natalie Portman?
203
00:08:16,912 --> 00:08:19,790
No, they're not doing TV movies.
Maybe premium cable.
204
00:08:20,082 --> 00:08:22,209
That's how Kate Winslet
cleaned up with Mildred Pierce.
205
00:08:24,211 --> 00:08:26,839
There she is.
That's them. That's them.
206
00:08:27,131 --> 00:08:29,049
I recognize the mom
from the interview.
207
00:08:29,341 --> 00:08:30,634
That's Dora.
208
00:08:30,926 --> 00:08:33,178
Oh, my God, you were right.
209
00:08:33,470 --> 00:08:36,473
There is a little mini me
out there.
210
00:08:36,765 --> 00:08:39,351
Oh, look at her.
211
00:08:39,643 --> 00:08:41,395
Oh, Brad,
I'm so glad we did this.
212
00:08:41,687 --> 00:08:43,897
Hmm. It's just so nice
to know that there's...
213
00:08:44,189 --> 00:08:44,523
My little egg baby's out there,
214
00:08:45,566 --> 00:08:49,653
and she's grown
into a beautiful, happy...
215
00:08:49,945 --> 00:08:51,989
sneaky little whore.
216
00:08:53,574 --> 00:08:56,160
Peel out, she saw us!
Peel out!
217
00:08:57,995 --> 00:09:00,080
Oh, of course, the white lady's
air bag deploys.
218
00:09:01,999 --> 00:09:03,876
See now, you pair these earrings
with that belt,
219
00:09:04,168 --> 00:09:05,794
you take this whole outfit
from day to night.
220
00:09:06,086 --> 00:09:07,880
Oh, my God, you're,
like, a genius, Lexi.
221
00:09:08,172 --> 00:09:09,757
I'll take them both.
Great.
222
00:09:10,049 --> 00:09:11,508
Who wants lattes?
223
00:09:11,800 --> 00:09:13,052
Me.
224
00:09:13,343 --> 00:09:14,303
I love lattes.
225
00:09:14,595 --> 00:09:15,929
"Chloe Garrity"?
226
00:09:16,221 --> 00:09:18,015
You're not related
to Billy Garrity, are you?
227
00:09:18,307 --> 00:09:19,600
Yeah, he's my brother.
228
00:09:19,892 --> 00:09:21,518
Your brother
was only, like, the hottest guy
229
00:09:21,810 --> 00:09:23,062
in our high school.
230
00:09:23,353 --> 00:09:24,897
I was in love with him
but I never had a chance
231
00:09:25,189 --> 00:09:26,607
because he's only dated
college girls.
232
00:09:26,899 --> 00:09:28,400
Oh, my God.
I'll totally text him about you
233
00:09:28,692 --> 00:09:30,402
because you're amazing.
Um, you're amazing.
234
00:09:30,694 --> 00:09:31,945
I love that you guys
are saying that.
235
00:09:32,237 --> 00:09:33,197
Make it catch on at school.
236
00:09:35,282 --> 00:09:37,159
Ew. Who's that?
237
00:09:37,451 --> 00:09:39,745
Ew. That gross van's
blocking your store.
238
00:09:40,037 --> 00:09:41,205
Who's the loser
getting out of it?
239
00:09:41,497 --> 00:09:42,956
Oh, my God.
240
00:09:43,248 --> 00:09:44,208
Ew.
241
00:09:44,500 --> 00:09:45,876
What is Jane doing
in your dad's van?
242
00:09:46,168 --> 00:09:48,212
I don't know. Ew.
243
00:09:48,504 --> 00:09:50,047
What are you doing?
You're embarrassing me
244
00:09:50,339 --> 00:09:51,840
in front of Chloe.
Who's Chloe?
245
00:09:52,132 --> 00:09:53,842
She's in there between Madison
and Madison.
246
00:09:54,134 --> 00:09:56,011
Alex, you have to stop selling
those baby shirts.
247
00:09:56,303 --> 00:09:57,513
Do you know who's buying them?
248
00:09:57,805 --> 00:09:58,889
Duh, everybody.
249
00:09:59,181 --> 00:10:00,682
I've sold a bajillion.
Alex, It's wrong.
250
00:10:00,974 --> 00:10:02,142
No one over the age
of 10 months old
251
00:10:02,434 --> 00:10:03,644
should be wearing those.
252
00:10:03,936 --> 00:10:05,646
Billy Garrity wants me
to text him a picture.
253
00:10:05,938 --> 00:10:08,732
Which one should I wear?
"Put me to bed" or "I pooped"?
254
00:10:10,818 --> 00:10:12,236
I just answered my own question.
255
00:10:12,528 --> 00:10:14,822
Okay. Penny, no.
256
00:10:15,114 --> 00:10:17,157
Do your mothers know
that you dress like this?
257
00:10:17,449 --> 00:10:18,367
There's a lot they don't know.
258
00:10:18,659 --> 00:10:20,160
Well, I'm here now, and I know,
259
00:10:20,452 --> 00:10:22,663
so you need to cover right up.
260
00:10:22,955 --> 00:10:25,457
And give me the coffees.
I'm not done.
261
00:10:25,749 --> 00:10:26,625
Teenage girls should not
be drinking caffeine.
262
00:10:27,668 --> 00:10:29,419
They should be having
well-balanced meals.
263
00:10:29,711 --> 00:10:31,088
You know what? I have
some granola bars
264
00:10:31,380 --> 00:10:32,631
right here.
Ew. We don't want that.
265
00:10:32,923 --> 00:10:34,967
Save it.
You're gonna get hungry later.
266
00:10:35,259 --> 00:10:37,177
No. Pen.
No, you cannot wear that.
267
00:10:37,469 --> 00:10:39,638
Don't tell me what to wear.
You girls are out of control.
268
00:10:39,930 --> 00:10:41,306
No, we're not.
We're just hanging out.
269
00:10:41,598 --> 00:10:43,100
My store is the Peach Pit.
Deal with it.
270
00:10:43,392 --> 00:10:45,435
Yeah. Quit being such
a total mom, Jane.
271
00:10:45,727 --> 00:10:47,271
I am not being a total m...
272
00:10:47,563 --> 00:10:48,939
You have a little something
right...
273
00:10:49,231 --> 00:10:50,607
I... I am being a mom.
274
00:10:50,899 --> 00:10:54,111
I need to get out of here, okay?
275
00:10:55,279 --> 00:10:56,822
"Bajillion" is not a word.
276
00:10:57,114 --> 00:10:57,656
I'm s... I'm going.
277
00:10:58,699 --> 00:11:01,160
Who was that?
I don't know.
278
00:11:01,451 --> 00:11:02,786
Just some crazy van lady.
279
00:11:03,078 --> 00:11:05,122
Ew!
280
00:11:05,414 --> 00:11:06,415
What can I get you?
281
00:11:06,707 --> 00:11:08,041
Can I get the vegan sandwich?
282
00:11:08,333 --> 00:11:10,460
No.
What do you mean, no?
283
00:11:10,752 --> 00:11:12,754
We don't serve vegan sandwiches.
We're a steak truck.
284
00:11:13,046 --> 00:11:14,298
Why does it say
"vegan sandwiches"?
285
00:11:14,590 --> 00:11:16,008
To attract people like you,
286
00:11:16,300 --> 00:11:17,718
get you in the door,
then give you steak.
287
00:11:18,010 --> 00:11:19,553
I don't want steak.
I want a vegan sandwich.
288
00:11:19,845 --> 00:11:21,221
Trust me, you want a steak.
289
00:11:21,513 --> 00:11:23,515
Have you heard the phrase
"customer's always right"?
290
00:11:23,807 --> 00:11:25,517
You heard "no shirt,
no shoes, no service"?
291
00:11:25,809 --> 00:11:27,769
I've heard that.
Yeah, you're wearing fiip-flops.
292
00:11:28,061 --> 00:11:29,771
Those don't count as shoes.
These are shoes.
293
00:11:30,063 --> 00:11:31,732
Anytime I can see your toes,
that's not a shoe.
294
00:11:32,024 --> 00:11:33,442
That's a sandal.
We don't serve people
295
00:11:33,734 --> 00:11:35,527
who want vegan sandwiches
and wear sandals.
296
00:11:35,819 --> 00:11:37,446
Why don't you go take
a yoga class, okay?
297
00:11:37,738 --> 00:11:39,448
Why don't you cover up
your chest hair, V-neck?
298
00:11:39,740 --> 00:11:41,116
I don't
want your sandwich anymore.
299
00:11:41,408 --> 00:11:42,743
This chest hair is majestic.
300
00:11:43,035 --> 00:11:45,037
People get lost in here.
That chest hair's feral.
301
00:11:45,329 --> 00:11:47,039
"Feral" is still
an adjective that I prefer.
302
00:11:47,331 --> 00:11:48,957
Keep your sandwich.
I will.
303
00:11:49,249 --> 00:11:51,585
Good luck finding that ring,
Frodo Baggins.
304
00:11:51,877 --> 00:11:54,171
Max. What are you doing?
I'm helping you out.
305
00:11:54,463 --> 00:11:57,049
We're going for a very exclusive
niche clientele.
306
00:11:57,341 --> 00:11:57,716
This is a food truck.
We're going for
307
00:11:58,759 --> 00:12:00,093
the broadest clientele possible.
308
00:12:00,385 --> 00:12:01,553
Not at Dr. Steaks.
Wait a minute.
309
00:12:01,845 --> 00:12:03,555
What is Dr. Steaks?
The new name for our truck.
310
00:12:03,847 --> 00:12:05,807
We're gonna take down our info
on prescription pads,
311
00:12:06,099 --> 00:12:07,434
we're gonna wear scrubs.
312
00:12:07,726 --> 00:12:09,978
Dude, that is actually kind
of a good idea.
313
00:12:10,270 --> 00:12:11,813
We could use a scalpel
to cut the buns
314
00:12:12,105 --> 00:12:14,274
and the... The condiment section
could be the Mayo Clinic.
315
00:12:14,566 --> 00:12:16,068
Okay, calm down. Enough.
I'm the idea man.
316
00:12:16,360 --> 00:12:17,319
You are the cook.
Whatever.
317
00:12:17,611 --> 00:12:18,904
I don't need a new name.
Yeah, you do,
318
00:12:19,196 --> 00:12:20,739
because you got
massacred today on Yelp.
319
00:12:21,031 --> 00:12:22,574
Five bad reviews,
all about the service.
320
00:12:22,866 --> 00:12:24,785
You are the service.
Yeah. Well, I run my truck
321
00:12:25,077 --> 00:12:27,162
like I run my truck.
Max, this is not your truck.
322
00:12:27,454 --> 00:12:29,539
You don't just get to walk
in here and be the boss.
323
00:12:29,831 --> 00:12:31,792
I'll tell you who else
didn't get to just walk in there
324
00:12:32,084 --> 00:12:33,794
and be the boss:
Tony Danza.
325
00:12:34,086 --> 00:12:36,463
Yeah. That's why his talk show
was a creative failure.
326
00:12:36,755 --> 00:12:39,258
Okay. How about this?
Why don't you go find a job
327
00:12:39,549 --> 00:12:41,093
that'll let you be the boss
on the first day.
328
00:12:41,385 --> 00:12:43,095
Let me know how that goes
because you're fired.
329
00:12:43,387 --> 00:12:45,138
Fine! I'll see you in hell.
I'll see you in hell.
330
00:12:45,430 --> 00:12:46,848
Fine. See you at home
for the Bears game.
331
00:12:47,140 --> 00:12:48,892
Fine. I'll get the hummus.
Get baby carrots too
332
00:12:49,184 --> 00:12:50,227
because I like to dip!
Fine!
333
00:12:52,604 --> 00:12:53,563
It's tight in here, you know.
334
00:12:53,855 --> 00:12:55,023
I'll go this way.
Okay, great.
335
00:12:57,901 --> 00:13:00,279
And then I completely
mommed out with Alex and Penny.
336
00:13:00,570 --> 00:13:02,781
I don't know. I think it's tied
to seeing Julia this morning.
337
00:13:03,073 --> 00:13:04,616
Yeah. Who's Julia?
338
00:13:04,908 --> 00:13:07,619
My egg daughter.
Not crazy about the name Dora.
339
00:13:07,911 --> 00:13:10,747
I just don't want her to turn
into some trashy party girl.
340
00:13:11,039 --> 00:13:13,458
First of all, you don't know
that's gonna happen, all right?
341
00:13:13,750 --> 00:13:16,044
And second of all,
she's not your daughter.
342
00:13:16,336 --> 00:13:18,338
Well, she is and she isn't.
She isn't.
343
00:13:18,630 --> 00:13:20,340
A little bit. Kind of. Yeah?
Not really. No.
344
00:13:20,632 --> 00:13:22,050
Not at all.
Okay, agree to disagree.
345
00:13:22,342 --> 00:13:24,011
I don't know.
It's like my maternal instincts
346
00:13:24,303 --> 00:13:25,304
kicked into high gear.
347
00:13:25,595 --> 00:13:26,888
Is that even a thing?
Can that happen?
348
00:13:27,180 --> 00:13:28,974
Oh, you're cutting
the crust off my sandwich.
349
00:13:29,266 --> 00:13:31,393
You have to eat at least half
before you have your cookie.
350
00:13:31,685 --> 00:13:34,313
I already ate my cookie.
Okay, well, no swimming until...
351
00:13:34,604 --> 00:13:36,189
See? I can't just sit here.
352
00:13:36,481 --> 00:13:38,734
Julia is headed down a bad path.
Her parents have no idea.
353
00:13:39,026 --> 00:13:41,361
I mean, I have to do something.
Jane, you signed a contract
354
00:13:41,653 --> 00:13:43,196
saying you will never contact
the parents.
355
00:13:45,407 --> 00:13:47,909
And I will not contact
the parents.
356
00:13:51,163 --> 00:13:53,665
Hey. Hey.
357
00:13:53,957 --> 00:13:56,209
Can I talk to you for a second?
Who are you?
358
00:13:56,501 --> 00:13:58,837
I'm kind of
your mom...'s friend.
359
00:13:59,129 --> 00:14:00,797
Just don't worry about it.
Just come.
360
00:14:01,089 --> 00:14:02,174
Just...
361
00:14:03,425 --> 00:14:04,718
Get in the van.
362
00:14:06,845 --> 00:14:08,388
Yes, Dora's completely safe,
363
00:14:08,680 --> 00:14:10,140
and the perpetrator
is with me right now.
364
00:14:10,432 --> 00:14:11,808
Not perpetrator.
Friendly stranger
365
00:14:12,100 --> 00:14:12,851
with advice from the future.
366
00:14:18,523 --> 00:14:19,649
You're from the future?
367
00:14:21,360 --> 00:14:23,612
Do I ever stop peeing my pants?
368
00:14:23,904 --> 00:14:25,947
Mmm.
369
00:14:32,037 --> 00:14:34,706
Oh, my God, I love, love,
love your store.
370
00:14:34,998 --> 00:14:36,500
I mean, this is,
like, the best party ever.
371
00:14:36,792 --> 00:14:38,877
Thanks.
Oh, my God, I am so drunk.
372
00:14:39,169 --> 00:14:41,671
Cool. Wait. What?
373
00:14:43,173 --> 00:14:44,508
Hey, what's up?
374
00:14:44,800 --> 00:14:46,385
You want a beer?
No. Where did you get this?
375
00:14:46,676 --> 00:14:47,844
Tapped a keg
in the dressing room.
376
00:14:48,136 --> 00:14:50,180
My name's Tanner. I wrestle.
377
00:14:50,472 --> 00:14:52,140
No big deal.
All right, that's enough.
378
00:14:54,393 --> 00:14:56,395
Oh. Stop that.
379
00:14:58,271 --> 00:14:59,981
Oh, hey, Lexi, guess what.
Chloe texted Billy.
380
00:15:00,273 --> 00:15:02,401
And he thinks he remembers me.
He thinks he remembers me.
381
00:15:02,692 --> 00:15:03,902
Pen, the kids
are drinking in here.
382
00:15:04,194 --> 00:15:05,862
We gotta get them out.
We're leaving anyway.
383
00:15:06,154 --> 00:15:07,989
This place is dead.
You coming, Lexi?
384
00:15:08,281 --> 00:15:10,242
No, because this is my store,
okay?
385
00:15:10,534 --> 00:15:11,910
Everybody out. Party's over.
386
00:15:12,202 --> 00:15:14,788
- Ugh. Alex is so uncool.
- Totally.
387
00:15:15,080 --> 00:15:16,373
Come on, Pen.
Let's go to the mall.
388
00:15:16,665 --> 00:15:17,999
I don't think I can.
389
00:15:18,291 --> 00:15:20,293
Okay, well, I guess,
I'll just tell Billy
390
00:15:20,585 --> 00:15:22,337
you didn't wanna come.
Billy's gonna be there?
391
00:15:22,629 --> 00:15:24,881
Yeah, and he texted me he said
he wants to hang out with you.
392
00:15:25,173 --> 00:15:26,633
But it's kind
of a now-or-never thing.
393
00:15:26,925 --> 00:15:27,926
Because he's going
to Paris tomorrow on business.
394
00:15:28,969 --> 00:15:30,345
I love Paris business.
395
00:15:30,637 --> 00:15:34,474
But I can't. It...
No. It would be wrong.
396
00:15:34,766 --> 00:15:35,934
He's so hot.
397
00:15:36,226 --> 00:15:38,145
Oh! Why am I so weak?
398
00:15:38,437 --> 00:15:39,521
I love the mall.
399
00:15:39,813 --> 00:15:42,983
Let's name our crew.
Guys, wait for me.
400
00:15:47,195 --> 00:15:48,864
Oh, hey, dude.
401
00:15:49,156 --> 00:15:50,907
Look, I'm sorry
402
00:15:51,199 --> 00:15:53,118
that I tried to take control
of your truck like that.
403
00:15:53,410 --> 00:15:55,579
I didn't hate the Mayo Clinic
idea. I didn't understand it.
404
00:15:55,871 --> 00:15:58,540
I still don't understand it
but I do trust you.
405
00:15:58,832 --> 00:16:00,917
Thanks, man.
I'm sorry I had to fire you.
406
00:16:01,209 --> 00:16:02,961
I only did it because
you were incredibly incompetent.
407
00:16:04,004 --> 00:16:06,006
Also, you violated
the hand-washing rule.
408
00:16:06,298 --> 00:16:08,049
How am I supposed to know
that manos means hands?
409
00:16:08,341 --> 00:16:09,801
How could you think
manos meant cojones?
410
00:16:10,093 --> 00:16:11,261
If I don't
know what a word means,
411
00:16:11,553 --> 00:16:13,180
I think the definition
is my testicles.
412
00:16:13,472 --> 00:16:14,848
Of course.
And I know
413
00:16:15,140 --> 00:16:16,975
that I gotta pick it up
on the rent.
414
00:16:17,267 --> 00:16:18,518
I made a few calls
and got in touch
415
00:16:18,810 --> 00:16:20,604
with some old Beanie Baby
broker buddies of mine,
416
00:16:20,896 --> 00:16:22,314
and it turns out
my first-generation
417
00:16:22,606 --> 00:16:24,816
Pinchers the Lobster actually
held its value pretty well.
418
00:16:25,108 --> 00:16:29,279
You sold your Beanie Babies
to make rent?
419
00:16:29,571 --> 00:16:35,118
No. I sold my Beanie Babies
to buy that bitchen '80s limo.
420
00:16:35,410 --> 00:16:38,246
Wow. For best friends,
we are rarely on the same page.
421
00:16:38,538 --> 00:16:40,790
Yeah. I will get you back
your half of the rent,
422
00:16:41,082 --> 00:16:42,542
plus more from all my sweet,
sweet fares.
423
00:16:42,834 --> 00:16:44,377
And I'm gonna be the boss
from day one,
424
00:16:44,669 --> 00:16:47,506
calling all the shots
just like Tony Danza.
425
00:16:47,797 --> 00:16:51,384
Uh, Max, you know the customer
usually gets to decide
426
00:16:51,676 --> 00:16:52,802
when and where they're going.
427
00:16:53,094 --> 00:16:54,513
Ah, that's debatable.
Not debatable.
428
00:16:54,804 --> 00:16:56,723
That's how it works.
Everything's debatable.
429
00:16:57,015 --> 00:16:59,017
I'm gonna go around O'Hare
and see what shakes out.
430
00:16:59,309 --> 00:17:00,477
You need
to be specially licensed
431
00:17:00,769 --> 00:17:02,354
and bonded for that.
432
00:17:02,646 --> 00:17:05,774
You do and you don't, bro.
Believe in me.
433
00:17:06,066 --> 00:17:07,943
I believe in you.
434
00:17:22,791 --> 00:17:24,417
Okay. Come on, Tanner.
Let's get a move on.
435
00:17:24,709 --> 00:17:25,710
You wanna see it?
436
00:17:26,002 --> 00:17:27,587
Go home.
437
00:17:30,799 --> 00:17:32,634
What are you doing here?
I brought you Sbarros
438
00:17:32,926 --> 00:17:34,344
to say I'm "sborry."
439
00:17:34,636 --> 00:17:36,221
I can't believe you ditched me
in the middle
440
00:17:36,513 --> 00:17:38,139
of an underage free-for-all
to go to the mall
441
00:17:38,431 --> 00:17:39,724
with Chloe and the Madisons.
I know.
442
00:17:40,016 --> 00:17:41,643
It was totally uncool of me.
443
00:17:41,935 --> 00:17:43,186
And halfway through, I was like,
444
00:17:43,478 --> 00:17:45,522
"What am I doing
with these girls?
445
00:17:45,814 --> 00:17:46,815
I got my own girls."
446
00:17:47,107 --> 00:17:49,067
Aww. They ditched you too?
447
00:17:49,359 --> 00:17:50,986
So hard.
And just like seconds
448
00:17:51,278 --> 00:17:52,737
after I bought them
all BFF necklaces.
449
00:17:53,029 --> 00:17:54,990
Mean girls.
Right. Are we happy to hear?
450
00:17:55,282 --> 00:17:56,449
Billy Garrity, fat and bald.
451
00:17:56,741 --> 00:17:58,577
He is?
No, smoking hot.
452
00:17:58,868 --> 00:18:01,580
But it turns out,
still only dates college girls.
453
00:18:01,871 --> 00:18:03,999
Hmm.
454
00:18:04,291 --> 00:18:06,459
Hi. I'm... I'm so sorry.
455
00:18:06,751 --> 00:18:09,004
I know it was wrong to follow
her, but I was trying to help.
456
00:18:09,296 --> 00:18:12,007
And who are you?
Jane Kerkovich, your egg donor.
457
00:18:12,299 --> 00:18:13,842
And when I saw Jul...
458
00:18:14,134 --> 00:18:16,636
Dora going down a bad path,
I just...
459
00:18:16,928 --> 00:18:18,847
I felt I needed to protect her.
I mean, it's biology.
460
00:18:19,139 --> 00:18:20,557
We have
this profound connection...
461
00:18:20,849 --> 00:18:23,018
She's not yours.
I know, but in a primal sense...
462
00:18:23,310 --> 00:18:24,477
Not in any sense.
463
00:18:24,769 --> 00:18:26,271
Not your egg.
Excuse me?
464
00:18:26,563 --> 00:18:30,025
We didn't use it.
And we loved your donor video.
465
00:18:30,317 --> 00:18:31,276
But we were a little thrown
466
00:18:31,568 --> 00:18:33,111
by your unsolicited
follow-up video.
467
00:18:33,403 --> 00:18:34,696
Hey, guys.
So I've been thinking
468
00:18:34,988 --> 00:18:36,323
a little bit more
about our baby.
469
00:18:36,615 --> 00:18:37,949
I feel like there
are a few things
470
00:18:38,241 --> 00:18:39,868
I failed to mention
in the first video.
471
00:18:40,160 --> 00:18:44,414
One, nutrition. Two, schooling.
Two A, preschooling.
472
00:18:44,706 --> 00:18:46,625
Two B, or not to be...
473
00:18:46,916 --> 00:18:48,668
Sorry, just a little...
474
00:18:48,960 --> 00:18:50,920
A little Shakespeare joke,
475
00:18:51,212 --> 00:18:52,255
which brings us to the arts.
476
00:18:52,547 --> 00:18:54,299
You seemed a little crazy.
477
00:18:54,591 --> 00:18:55,884
And not fun crazy.
478
00:18:56,176 --> 00:18:57,552
The kind of crazy
that would come back
479
00:18:57,844 --> 00:18:58,803
after 11 years
480
00:18:59,095 --> 00:19:00,639
and try to lure my daughter
into a van.
481
00:19:02,223 --> 00:19:05,226
Think we're done here.
Yes, we are.
482
00:19:05,518 --> 00:19:06,478
Okay.
483
00:19:08,938 --> 00:19:10,815
So I'm going to
be a terrible mother
484
00:19:11,107 --> 00:19:13,360
because I have zero maternal
instinct.
485
00:19:13,652 --> 00:19:15,403
Are you kidding?
You're gonna be an amazing mom.
486
00:19:15,695 --> 00:19:17,364
You did all that for a kid
who's not even yours.
487
00:19:17,656 --> 00:19:19,282
Well, for what it's worth
your mom instincts
488
00:19:19,574 --> 00:19:21,076
were right on with Chloe
and the Madisons.
489
00:19:21,368 --> 00:19:22,744
They were the worst.
490
00:19:23,036 --> 00:19:24,329
I don't know,
I kind of liked Madison.
491
00:19:24,621 --> 00:19:25,789
It's Madison
who's a total bitch.
492
00:19:26,081 --> 00:19:28,500
Ugh.
Anyway,
493
00:19:28,792 --> 00:19:29,959
I'm glad
they didn't use your egg,
494
00:19:30,251 --> 00:19:31,378
because one day,
495
00:19:31,670 --> 00:19:33,088
we're gonna have
a little Jane of our own
496
00:19:33,380 --> 00:19:35,965
and I want it to be
the only one out there.
497
00:19:36,257 --> 00:19:37,217
Aww.
Come here.
498
00:19:38,760 --> 00:19:40,762
Boom! Rent. Eat it.
499
00:19:41,054 --> 00:19:42,055
Wait, don't, it's money.
500
00:19:42,347 --> 00:19:43,765
The only thing dirtier
is airplane ice.
501
00:19:44,057 --> 00:19:45,517
Max, where did you get all that?
502
00:19:45,809 --> 00:19:47,727
Well, I had a job, I lost it,
was backed into a corner.
503
00:19:48,019 --> 00:19:50,313
Sold my Beanie Baby collection,
bought a 1984 limousine.
504
00:19:50,605 --> 00:19:52,023
Picked up Dr.
And Mrs. Rosenberg,
505
00:19:52,315 --> 00:19:54,025
drove them to shul in time
for Havdalah.
506
00:19:54,317 --> 00:19:55,902
And by the way,
Jews are excellent tippers,
507
00:19:56,194 --> 00:19:57,529
so I don't know
where that came from.
508
00:19:57,821 --> 00:19:59,989
That's it, matzo-ball subs
back on the menu.
509
00:20:00,281 --> 00:20:02,033
You sold your
Beanie Baby collection?
510
00:20:02,325 --> 00:20:03,993
It was a tough day.
Oh, God.
511
00:20:04,285 --> 00:20:05,370
You had a tough day?
512
00:20:05,662 --> 00:20:07,122
I gotta unload 20 boxes
of baby T-shirts.
513
00:20:07,414 --> 00:20:10,333
Huh? Baby T-shirts?
Can I pull those off?
514
00:20:10,625 --> 00:20:11,835
I... I can't.
515
00:20:12,127 --> 00:20:13,837
You do have a store credit.
516
00:20:14,129 --> 00:20:17,924
Don't tell me that.
Ah! I can't. I shan't. Ugh!
517
00:20:18,216 --> 00:20:19,217
Come on.
I want to.
518
00:20:19,509 --> 00:20:20,719
You could. You could.
Don't do it.
519
00:20:21,010 --> 00:20:22,303
Don't do it. Don't do it.
520
00:20:22,595 --> 00:20:24,180
Don't. I won't.
I won't. I'm a man.
521
00:20:24,472 --> 00:20:26,933
Should I hold any onesies?
I am a man. No.
522
00:20:27,225 --> 00:20:28,518
I think you should.
I'm not opposed.
523
00:20:30,520 --> 00:20:31,938
Yeah. Yeah, girl.
39449
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