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1
00:00:01,375 --> 00:00:03,461
Big news.
New rom-com opening tonight.
2
00:00:03,753 --> 00:00:06,047
Bet it's got super vague title
3
00:00:06,339 --> 00:00:08,049
that tells nothing
about the movie.
4
00:00:08,341 --> 00:00:10,968
That's the Way It's Gotta Be.
Do they have to be so stupid?
5
00:00:11,260 --> 00:00:12,970
That's the title.
That's the Way It's Gotta Be.
6
00:00:13,262 --> 00:00:15,806
Let me guess, it's about someone
who has to pretend to win a bet.
7
00:00:16,098 --> 00:00:18,643
Or somebody dates someone
to prove for some article.
8
00:00:18,935 --> 00:00:21,771
Somebody who's supposed to marry
then leaves them at the...
9
00:00:22,063 --> 00:00:23,439
Doctor's office.
Whoa!
10
00:00:23,731 --> 00:00:26,067
So, okay, I have to get out.
Wait, someone left this sweater
11
00:00:26,359 --> 00:00:27,318
at my apartment.
12
00:00:27,610 --> 00:00:28,986
Oh, that's mine.
That's my sweater.
13
00:00:29,278 --> 00:00:31,447
How can it be both of yours?
How can you wear the same size?
14
00:00:31,739 --> 00:00:33,533
It's supposed to be
like boyfriendy and slouchy.
15
00:00:33,824 --> 00:00:35,368
It's supposed to be tight
and formfitting.
16
00:00:35,660 --> 00:00:37,036
My grandma gave it to me on her
deathbed.
17
00:00:37,328 --> 00:00:38,704
How many times has she died?
18
00:00:38,996 --> 00:00:40,873
You said the same thing
about half a club sandwich.
19
00:00:41,165 --> 00:00:42,625
Know what this means?
20
00:00:42,917 --> 00:00:44,043
We're gonna have to figure out
who gets the sweater.
21
00:00:45,086 --> 00:00:47,922
Oh, not another dumb competition
that nobody cares about.
22
00:00:48,214 --> 00:00:51,217
Jane and I are not gonna do
one of our stupid competitions.
23
00:00:51,509 --> 00:00:54,845
It's just...
No. Get back here, you gay.
24
00:00:55,137 --> 00:00:57,306
"You gay"?
That's the best you can think?
25
00:00:57,598 --> 00:00:58,683
Ridiculous.
Idiots.
26
00:00:58,975 --> 00:01:00,476
I gotta see this. Yay!
Me too.
27
00:01:00,768 --> 00:01:02,895
Hey, guys, wait!
See you.
28
00:01:04,689 --> 00:01:06,899
Seriously?
I get stuck with the check?
29
00:01:07,191 --> 00:01:08,693
What is the point
of having white friends?
30
00:01:08,985 --> 00:01:10,903
Don't worry, don't have to pay
for my second waffie.
31
00:01:12,321 --> 00:01:14,907
Or my first omelet.
32
00:01:25,084 --> 00:01:27,295
You two are acting
like children.
33
00:01:27,587 --> 00:01:28,963
No, we're not!
34
00:01:29,255 --> 00:01:31,173
I look better in it!
I look better in it!
35
00:01:31,465 --> 00:01:33,426
No you don't.
Your body doesn't fill it out.
36
00:01:33,718 --> 00:01:35,720
Your chubby body's gonna rip it.
Chubby?
37
00:01:36,012 --> 00:01:37,221
You guys are vain.
38
00:01:37,513 --> 00:01:39,181
You probably think
this sweater's about you.
39
00:01:39,473 --> 00:01:42,268
Don't you dare make that joke.
I got it.
40
00:01:42,560 --> 00:01:45,646
Max, whoever is less vain
gets the sweater.
41
00:01:45,938 --> 00:01:47,106
Oh, it's on, you skinny nut job.
42
00:01:48,149 --> 00:01:49,859
You're a nut job.
43
00:01:50,151 --> 00:01:51,193
Hello, David.
Hi.
44
00:01:51,485 --> 00:01:53,404
Hi.
Hello. Dave, don't be rude.
45
00:01:53,696 --> 00:01:56,365
Introduce us to this gentleman.
46
00:01:56,657 --> 00:01:58,242
This is Richard.
47
00:01:58,534 --> 00:02:02,455
He's my, uh, work friend,
colleague,
48
00:02:02,747 --> 00:02:05,124
who I know from camp, the war.
49
00:02:05,416 --> 00:02:06,375
Dance class.
50
00:02:06,667 --> 00:02:07,752
The war. Which war?
51
00:02:08,044 --> 00:02:09,003
The war on drugs, and we won.
52
00:02:09,295 --> 00:02:10,379
You're welcome.
53
00:02:10,671 --> 00:02:12,048
Well, it was nice
to meet all of you.
54
00:02:12,340 --> 00:02:13,299
Bye.
55
00:02:13,591 --> 00:02:15,551
Wow.
56
00:02:15,843 --> 00:02:19,055
Who was that tall
drink of cashmere?
57
00:02:19,347 --> 00:02:20,389
A long lingerer.
58
00:02:20,681 --> 00:02:23,059
He's my therapist.
Oh, thank God.
59
00:02:23,351 --> 00:02:25,186
I was worried
you were taking a dance class.
60
00:02:25,478 --> 00:02:26,145
Why wouldn't you tell us
you're in therapy?
61
00:02:27,188 --> 00:02:29,857
I just started seeing him
and it's starting to help a bit.
62
00:02:30,149 --> 00:02:31,692
And I knew you guys
were gonna make fun of me.
63
00:02:31,984 --> 00:02:33,527
So go ahead. Have at.
64
00:02:33,819 --> 00:02:36,572
No, Dave.
65
00:02:36,864 --> 00:02:39,325
We're gonna make fun of you
for saying "have at."
66
00:02:39,617 --> 00:02:41,827
No. I would never.
Therapy is great.
67
00:02:42,119 --> 00:02:43,621
My therapy is my gardening.
68
00:02:43,913 --> 00:02:47,667
I like to get in there and dig,
and just smash and smash.
69
00:02:47,958 --> 00:02:49,460
And just smash it until...
70
00:02:49,752 --> 00:02:51,170
David,
tons of people are in therapy.
71
00:02:51,462 --> 00:02:52,171
I've been going
since I was a kid.
72
00:02:53,214 --> 00:02:54,465
In fact, I still see
73
00:02:54,757 --> 00:02:56,926
my childhood psychologist,
Roz Liebowitz.
74
00:02:57,218 --> 00:02:59,929
He touched me here and here.
75
00:03:00,221 --> 00:03:02,264
I wanted him to touch me here,
but he wouldn't.
76
00:03:02,556 --> 00:03:04,558
Why wouldn't he?
77
00:03:04,850 --> 00:03:07,311
Yeah, man. You gotta relax.
Therapy's cool.
78
00:03:07,603 --> 00:03:08,771
I find it helps me
79
00:03:09,063 --> 00:03:10,898
become a more mature,
well-rounded...
80
00:03:11,190 --> 00:03:13,859
I got the sweater.
81
00:03:14,151 --> 00:03:15,945
It's like being attacked
by a rake.
82
00:03:16,237 --> 00:03:19,782
Really? I'll pay for that.
I think just around the corner.
83
00:03:20,074 --> 00:03:21,534
Ow, ow.
84
00:03:23,411 --> 00:03:25,162
I twisted my ankle
twisting Max's ankle.
85
00:03:25,454 --> 00:03:27,790
Oh, Poor baby.
You want some tea?
86
00:03:28,082 --> 00:03:30,876
What's wrong with your voice?
Strained it talking to Alex.
87
00:03:31,168 --> 00:03:32,878
You know my voice gets weird
when I'm nervous.
88
00:03:33,170 --> 00:03:34,338
Why were you nervous?
89
00:03:34,630 --> 00:03:36,674
'Cause we have nothing
to talk about.
90
00:03:36,966 --> 00:03:38,926
If you have to work,
don't keep me company.
91
00:03:39,218 --> 00:03:41,429
Oh, no, no. It's cool.
We never get to hang out.
92
00:03:41,721 --> 00:03:44,348
You know? It'll be nice.
Yeah!
93
00:03:44,640 --> 00:03:47,309
So...
So...
94
00:03:47,601 --> 00:03:50,104
Yep.
95
00:03:51,897 --> 00:03:53,733
And it got even worse
after that.
96
00:03:54,024 --> 00:03:56,360
There's also a lot of greens.
97
00:03:56,652 --> 00:03:57,820
Uh-huh. Yeah.
Lime green.
98
00:03:58,112 --> 00:03:59,530
Kelly green.
99
00:03:59,822 --> 00:04:01,949
Green can mean inexperienced,
100
00:04:02,241 --> 00:04:03,242
which when you think about it,
that's pretty cool.
101
00:04:04,285 --> 00:04:06,746
Honey, Alex is my sister.
You guys should be close.
102
00:04:07,037 --> 00:04:09,498
We are close. We're just not,
like, one-on-one close.
103
00:04:09,790 --> 00:04:10,875
Well, you could be.
104
00:04:11,167 --> 00:04:12,877
Call her now.
Ask her to lunch.
105
00:04:13,169 --> 00:04:17,214
Fine. I'll do that.
I'll call her right now.
106
00:04:19,717 --> 00:04:22,470
No phones sound like that.
Shh. Babe, I'm on the phone.
107
00:04:22,762 --> 00:04:25,639
How are we gonna decide
who's less vain?
108
00:04:25,931 --> 00:04:28,726
Throw acid at each other?
It's psychotic. I like it.
109
00:04:29,018 --> 00:04:30,019
What about face tattoos?
110
00:04:30,311 --> 00:04:32,354
Mm, we talking Tyson
or Kat Von D?
111
00:04:32,646 --> 00:04:34,565
We're talking Kat Von Tyson
with a little Mike Von D.
112
00:04:34,857 --> 00:04:36,233
Well, I like it.
I can be down with that.
113
00:04:36,525 --> 00:04:37,610
Okay, guys. I've got it.
114
00:04:37,902 --> 00:04:39,612
Pick out the worst outfit
for each other.
115
00:04:39,904 --> 00:04:41,614
And whoever wears it
the longest, wins?
116
00:04:41,906 --> 00:04:43,949
Great. Love it. In.
Well, prepare to lose.
117
00:04:44,241 --> 00:04:46,744
You're gonna look like trash
in this hideous garbage.
118
00:04:47,036 --> 00:04:48,579
Stop it.
119
00:04:48,871 --> 00:04:51,040
You're gonna scare away
the customers.
120
00:04:51,332 --> 00:04:52,500
What customers?
121
00:04:54,043 --> 00:04:56,170
Sometimes I get scared in here.
122
00:04:56,462 --> 00:04:58,547
And all my friends
were really supportive.
123
00:04:58,839 --> 00:05:01,383
Sorry. Especially Penny.
124
00:05:01,675 --> 00:05:03,344
She even told me
she has a therapist too.
125
00:05:03,636 --> 00:05:05,346
Interesting. Do you think
this is something
126
00:05:05,638 --> 00:05:06,847
that she would only say to you,
127
00:05:07,139 --> 00:05:10,017
or would she say it to, say,
a boyfriend?
128
00:05:10,309 --> 00:05:12,019
Or an on-again,
off-again female lover?
129
00:05:12,311 --> 00:05:13,479
Well, I guess
if she had a female...
130
00:05:13,771 --> 00:05:15,147
Wait, huh? Wait. What?
131
00:05:15,439 --> 00:05:18,567
Anyway, you know what I think
would really help you?
132
00:05:18,859 --> 00:05:21,445
I am so sorry.
Ah, we have to stop.
133
00:05:23,030 --> 00:05:24,740
It's unbelievable.
It just flies by.
134
00:05:25,032 --> 00:05:28,077
Here's what I'd like you
to think about for next week.
135
00:05:28,369 --> 00:05:31,455
Getting me Penny's number.
I wanna ask her out.
136
00:05:31,747 --> 00:05:33,082
Out? Like, out on a...?
137
00:05:33,374 --> 00:05:34,667
I'm sorry.
What's happening here?
138
00:05:34,959 --> 00:05:37,753
I know I appear to view life
from a distance in a way
139
00:05:38,045 --> 00:05:41,298
that may make you think
I am, I don't know, godlike.
140
00:05:41,590 --> 00:05:44,218
But in my off-hours,
I'm a flesh-and-blood man
141
00:05:44,510 --> 00:05:47,388
who enjoys travel, tart apples,
142
00:05:47,680 --> 00:05:49,807
artisanal cheeses,
just like you.
143
00:05:50,099 --> 00:05:51,851
I'm sorry.
144
00:05:52,142 --> 00:05:54,854
Asking for my friend's number
is a bit inappropriate.
145
00:05:55,145 --> 00:05:56,522
Well, obviously
146
00:05:56,814 --> 00:05:58,941
it would be wildly inappropriate
if we were in a session.
147
00:05:59,233 --> 00:06:02,570
But out here,
it's totally appropriate, see?
148
00:06:02,862 --> 00:06:05,531
Appropriate. inappropriate.
149
00:06:05,823 --> 00:06:09,451
Appropriate. inappropriate.
Do you understand?
150
00:06:09,743 --> 00:06:11,370
So this, uh...?
151
00:06:11,662 --> 00:06:13,706
Am I paying for this?
No.
152
00:06:15,082 --> 00:06:16,166
Bye-bye.
153
00:06:19,545 --> 00:06:22,256
Dude, I need your help.
All right, but it'll cost you.
154
00:06:22,548 --> 00:06:24,425
Uh, you owe me $8,000.
Dude, I'm here for you.
155
00:06:24,717 --> 00:06:27,094
Having lunch with Alex tomorrow,
I know it's gonna be awkward.
156
00:06:27,386 --> 00:06:30,014
So hit me with an out-call
at, like, 1:20.
157
00:06:30,306 --> 00:06:32,850
No worries. I have the best
out-call. There's a meteor...
158
00:06:33,142 --> 00:06:34,643
Not a meteor's
about to hit the Earth.
159
00:06:34,935 --> 00:06:37,104
Fine.
I will think of another one.
160
00:06:37,396 --> 00:06:38,898
Gracias.
161
00:06:39,189 --> 00:06:42,067
How do you think Jane would feel
wearing high-waisted jeans?
162
00:06:42,359 --> 00:06:43,986
I think she'd have to be high
and wasted.
163
00:06:44,278 --> 00:06:45,988
Awesome. She is going to...
164
00:06:46,280 --> 00:06:49,783
Hate this. Everything about this
shirt is gonna look bad on Max.
165
00:06:50,075 --> 00:06:53,871
He has two of them.
He wore one to your wedding.
166
00:06:59,877 --> 00:07:03,213
So stamps went up again.
Unbelievable.
167
00:07:03,505 --> 00:07:05,799
I get the forever ones.
Who knows how long they're good?
168
00:07:06,091 --> 00:07:08,385
Um...
Oh.
169
00:07:08,677 --> 00:07:09,762
Hello?
170
00:07:10,054 --> 00:07:11,764
Wait. What?
171
00:07:12,056 --> 00:07:14,224
A meteor is headed for Earth,
just like in that movie?
172
00:07:15,559 --> 00:07:17,853
Uh-oh. Meteor's are coming.
173
00:07:18,145 --> 00:07:21,106
That is a tough pill to swallow.
Al, I know that was Max.
174
00:07:21,398 --> 00:07:23,984
Man, I cannot believe
you'd pull an out-call on me.
175
00:07:24,276 --> 00:07:26,236
Your own brother-in-law.
176
00:07:26,528 --> 00:07:27,738
Let me just get...
177
00:07:28,030 --> 00:07:30,866
Oh. Hello.
178
00:07:31,158 --> 00:07:33,202
Yeah, I'll tell him.
That was Max.
179
00:07:33,494 --> 00:07:35,788
He wants me to tell you
a meteor is headed for Earth
180
00:07:36,080 --> 00:07:37,456
just like in that other movie.
181
00:07:37,748 --> 00:07:40,417
What? We gotta...
Brad.
182
00:07:40,709 --> 00:07:42,586
All, what are we doing
getting out-calls, huh?
183
00:07:42,878 --> 00:07:44,129
We're like brother and sister.
184
00:07:44,421 --> 00:07:45,881
We should be able
to talk about anything.
185
00:07:46,173 --> 00:07:48,842
I know.
186
00:07:54,723 --> 00:07:56,433
Are hip-hop and rap
the same thing?
187
00:07:56,725 --> 00:07:57,893
Yes.
188
00:08:05,651 --> 00:08:06,819
Got it.
189
00:08:09,738 --> 00:08:12,449
Hey, the craziest thing
happened yesterday.
190
00:08:12,741 --> 00:08:15,077
So I'm coming out of my office,
and I run into Rick.
191
00:08:15,369 --> 00:08:17,287
Who's Rick?
Your therapist. Anyway...
192
00:08:17,579 --> 00:08:20,332
Told me to call him Richard.
Oh. He told me to call him Rick.
193
00:08:20,624 --> 00:08:22,501
So socially,
he prefers Rick Rickman?
194
00:08:22,793 --> 00:08:24,253
I don't know. Who cares?
I care.
195
00:08:24,545 --> 00:08:26,588
Richard Rickman
is the name of a therapist.
196
00:08:26,880 --> 00:08:29,133
Rick Rickman will sell you
a used Grand Cherokee.
197
00:08:29,425 --> 00:08:31,051
Okay, whatever.
Rick asked me out.
198
00:08:31,343 --> 00:08:33,929
So I guess I was wondering
if that would be weird for you.
199
00:08:34,221 --> 00:08:38,308
Well, it wasn't weird before,
but it's certainly weird now.
200
00:08:38,600 --> 00:08:40,269
I can't believe it
he asked me for your number.
201
00:08:40,561 --> 00:08:43,313
I don't get back to him,
he tracks you at your office?
202
00:08:43,605 --> 00:08:44,898
You think he tracked me down?
203
00:08:45,190 --> 00:08:46,608
Come to think of it,
he did ask me
204
00:08:46,900 --> 00:08:49,069
some pretty strange questions
in our last session.
205
00:08:49,361 --> 00:08:51,238
You've been talking a lot
about your mother today.
206
00:08:51,530 --> 00:08:53,949
And it makes me wonder,
where does Penny work?
207
00:08:54,241 --> 00:08:55,784
And what bus line is that on?
208
00:08:56,076 --> 00:08:59,163
Yeah, he's stalking you.
Oh, my God.
209
00:08:59,455 --> 00:09:01,040
That is so flattering.
210
00:09:01,331 --> 00:09:03,333
What do you wear to a stalking?
Stockings?
211
00:09:03,625 --> 00:09:05,377
No, that's too on-the-nose.
212
00:09:06,754 --> 00:09:08,005
Max.
213
00:09:08,297 --> 00:09:11,008
Max, I gotta talk to you
about something.
214
00:09:11,300 --> 00:09:12,718
Max... Oh!
215
00:09:16,346 --> 00:09:17,598
What do you think?
216
00:09:19,558 --> 00:09:22,436
Yeah...
Works for you, man.
217
00:09:22,728 --> 00:09:24,980
I know, right?
Totally gonna win that sweater.
218
00:09:25,272 --> 00:09:26,482
What did you wanna
talk to me about?
219
00:09:26,774 --> 00:09:28,400
Oh, Penny's gonna go out
with my shrink.
220
00:09:28,692 --> 00:09:29,651
That's weird, right?
221
00:09:29,943 --> 00:09:31,028
David, nothing is weird.
222
00:09:31,320 --> 00:09:33,489
I've dated bailiffs,
monks, jockeys.
223
00:09:33,781 --> 00:09:36,325
My personal best is a butcher,
a baker and a candlestick maker.
224
00:09:36,617 --> 00:09:38,786
And, yes,
we were all in one tub.
225
00:09:39,078 --> 00:09:41,080
Tell me it wasn't our tub.
226
00:09:41,371 --> 00:09:42,581
Look, Dave,
if you think it's weird
227
00:09:42,873 --> 00:09:44,249
that Penny
is dating your shrink,
228
00:09:44,541 --> 00:09:46,794
tell her you don't want her
to date your shrink.
229
00:09:47,086 --> 00:09:49,963
Let's go grab a beer, huh?
230
00:09:50,255 --> 00:09:52,716
You're not really gonna go out
in public like that, are you?
231
00:09:53,008 --> 00:09:56,428
Yeah, this is nothing compared
to what I threw at Jane.
232
00:09:56,720 --> 00:09:58,847
This is the biggest
event we have ever attempted.
233
00:09:59,139 --> 00:10:02,017
But I think if we bring on
three corporate sponsors,
234
00:10:02,309 --> 00:10:03,977
we could offset
the total cost of the event.
235
00:10:04,269 --> 00:10:06,230
Now, I've already gone out to...
236
00:10:06,522 --> 00:10:08,440
Oh. Sorry.
237
00:10:09,650 --> 00:10:12,152
Hello? What?
238
00:10:12,444 --> 00:10:15,280
A meteor?
Excuse me.
239
00:10:17,407 --> 00:10:20,369
Thank you for the out-call, boo.
No problem, boo.
240
00:10:20,661 --> 00:10:22,621
So how was your lunch with Alex?
It was fine.
241
00:10:22,913 --> 00:10:25,290
Fine? Fine is not good enough.
242
00:10:25,582 --> 00:10:26,708
Brad, it is important to me
243
00:10:27,000 --> 00:10:28,669
that you guys have
a real relationship.
244
00:10:28,961 --> 00:10:30,587
You need to work at this.
245
00:10:30,879 --> 00:10:32,297
I gotta go.
246
00:10:32,589 --> 00:10:33,841
"Fine"?
247
00:10:34,133 --> 00:10:36,051
Why didn't I just say "great"?
248
00:10:36,343 --> 00:10:39,179
"Hey, how was lunch with Alex?"
Great. Is that so damn hard?
249
00:10:45,519 --> 00:10:47,437
Awesome, Brad. Okay. Thanks.
250
00:10:47,729 --> 00:10:49,690
Wow, sounds like you two
are really starting to bond.
251
00:10:49,982 --> 00:10:51,275
Actually, we're not.
252
00:10:51,567 --> 00:10:53,277
But Jane's been harassing
me and Brad about it.
253
00:10:53,569 --> 00:10:55,571
So we're gonna trick her
into thinking we're bonding.
254
00:10:55,863 --> 00:10:57,156
It should be easy to fool her
255
00:10:57,447 --> 00:10:59,199
'cause I'm super easy to fool
and we're sisters.
256
00:10:59,491 --> 00:11:00,951
In hindsight,
I may have dodged a bullet.
257
00:11:01,243 --> 00:11:03,120
We're gonna tell Jane
that we had an amazing lunch.
258
00:11:03,412 --> 00:11:04,955
But, actually,
we're not gonna meet at all.
259
00:11:05,247 --> 00:11:07,416
So you're gonna lie to Jane,
and not get any closer to Brad.
260
00:11:07,708 --> 00:11:09,835
It sounds like a great plan.
It's better than your plan.
261
00:11:10,127 --> 00:11:11,461
Pretending to hang out
when clearly
262
00:11:11,753 --> 00:11:13,630
you're waiting for Penny
to get home from her date.
263
00:11:13,922 --> 00:11:17,342
That is not what I am doing.
264
00:11:17,634 --> 00:11:20,345
I came here to get my vase.
265
00:11:20,637 --> 00:11:22,973
That's mine.
Then where did I put mine?
266
00:11:23,265 --> 00:11:25,309
Oh. Hey.
Hi.
267
00:11:25,601 --> 00:11:27,436
Hey. What are you doing here?
Nothing.
268
00:11:27,728 --> 00:11:29,271
Waiting for you.
Oh, come on.
269
00:11:29,563 --> 00:11:31,773
I thought you said you were cool
with me dating Rick.
270
00:11:32,065 --> 00:11:33,442
Yeah, one of my best friends
271
00:11:33,734 --> 00:11:35,652
dating the guy
that knows all of my secrets.
272
00:11:35,944 --> 00:11:37,946
Yeah, it's totally cool.
Cool.
273
00:11:38,238 --> 00:11:40,407
Not cool, Pen.
What if he talks about me?
274
00:11:40,699 --> 00:11:42,910
We spent four hours together.
You didn't come up once.
275
00:11:43,202 --> 00:11:46,163
Really? Not even one time?
He didn't...?
276
00:11:46,455 --> 00:11:48,207
Pen, this is getting weird.
Stop dating him.
277
00:11:48,498 --> 00:11:51,084
No. No, no, no.
You know what? No. Okay?
278
00:11:51,376 --> 00:11:53,420
It'd be one thing if you asked,
but you're telling me.
279
00:11:53,712 --> 00:11:56,590
If I learned anything from Roz
and the feelings dolls,
280
00:11:56,882 --> 00:11:58,300
it is that I need to be
less intimidated,
281
00:11:58,592 --> 00:12:00,177
more assertive.
282
00:12:00,469 --> 00:12:02,888
I'm gonna date Rick Rickman
whether you like it or not.
283
00:12:03,180 --> 00:12:05,474
Fine. Fine. Date Rick Rickman.
Fine.
284
00:12:05,766 --> 00:12:07,142
I will.
Fine.
285
00:12:09,603 --> 00:12:10,854
Seriously, am I the only one
286
00:12:11,146 --> 00:12:12,773
that thinks the name
Rick Rickman is insane?
287
00:12:13,065 --> 00:12:15,025
Well, it's a lot better
than Dick Dickman.
288
00:12:15,317 --> 00:12:17,569
No, you can't change
the last name to...
289
00:12:17,861 --> 00:12:20,113
Forget it.
I did dodge a bullet.
290
00:12:23,784 --> 00:12:25,410
Yeah.
291
00:12:25,702 --> 00:12:27,454
Hey, listen, babe,
I'm ducking into a meeting.
292
00:12:27,746 --> 00:12:31,416
I've gotta call you back
in, uh, about 110 minutes.
293
00:12:31,708 --> 00:12:32,834
Okay.
294
00:12:38,465 --> 00:12:40,175
Alex?
295
00:12:40,467 --> 00:12:42,344
Brad? What are you doing here?
Hey.
296
00:12:44,304 --> 00:12:46,348
You love rom-come.
I knew it!
297
00:12:46,640 --> 00:12:48,725
What? Wait.
What theater is this, huh?
298
00:12:49,017 --> 00:12:52,104
Thought this is a murder, death,
sports, explosion film for men.
299
00:12:52,396 --> 00:12:54,189
With full beards
and ample chest hair.
300
00:12:55,440 --> 00:12:56,984
Okay, yes. Yes. Yes, I do.
301
00:12:57,276 --> 00:12:59,486
I love rom-come, okay?
I love them.
302
00:12:59,778 --> 00:13:02,030
Last year, I told Jane
I went to Chicago Comic Con.
303
00:13:02,322 --> 00:13:05,367
But I went to the Rom Com Con.
I was there.
304
00:13:05,659 --> 00:13:07,786
Katherine Heigl's panel
was incredible.
305
00:13:08,078 --> 00:13:09,371
Here's the chain. Off it.
306
00:13:09,663 --> 00:13:11,832
Yes. Wait.
Shouldn't you be at work?
307
00:13:12,124 --> 00:13:14,876
Yeah, but people don't come
to my store between 5 and 7.
308
00:13:15,168 --> 00:13:17,629
And sometimes between 10 and 5.
309
00:13:17,921 --> 00:13:19,548
I like your store.
Thank you.
310
00:13:22,301 --> 00:13:23,760
I love the previews.
Oh, me too.
311
00:13:26,388 --> 00:13:29,141
Hey, I brought
my own Junior Mints.
312
00:13:29,433 --> 00:13:31,601
I bring my own snacks, too.
313
00:13:32,894 --> 00:13:34,313
Whoa.
Oh, yeah.
314
00:13:34,604 --> 00:13:36,273
It's so stinky.
You know it.
315
00:13:36,565 --> 00:13:38,817
Seriously, that really stinks.
I know.
316
00:13:40,569 --> 00:13:42,279
You look like Jamiroquai
before Labor Day.
317
00:13:42,571 --> 00:13:43,864
Well, you look like Carol Brady
318
00:13:44,156 --> 00:13:46,742
right before she was arrested
for molesting Bobby.
319
00:13:47,034 --> 00:13:50,037
Oh, it's been 24 hours.
This could go on forever.
320
00:13:50,329 --> 00:13:51,830
We're too good.
We gotta stop this.
321
00:13:52,873 --> 00:13:55,459
What's the one thing
we can't resist looking hot for?
322
00:13:59,880 --> 00:14:01,923
911.
What is the emergency?
323
00:14:02,215 --> 00:14:04,468
Hello, yes.
I would like to report a fire.
324
00:14:06,720 --> 00:14:08,513
Yes!
325
00:14:08,805 --> 00:14:12,142
And that's how
I almost accidentally married
326
00:14:12,434 --> 00:14:14,478
my best friend's fiancé.
327
00:14:14,770 --> 00:14:17,773
You are on fire tonight.
Oh, thank you.
328
00:14:18,065 --> 00:14:19,149
No, you're literally on fire.
329
00:14:22,361 --> 00:14:25,781
She's so nervous.
330
00:14:26,073 --> 00:14:27,657
Girl can't even tell
she's on fire.
331
00:14:27,949 --> 00:14:30,911
Oh, thank you.
I'm just a little nervous.
332
00:14:31,203 --> 00:14:32,913
Oh, well,
I could have told you that
333
00:14:33,205 --> 00:14:34,706
the moment you ordered
the market salad.
334
00:14:34,998 --> 00:14:37,000
Really? You can tell all that
from my order?
335
00:14:37,292 --> 00:14:40,212
Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah.
See that guy?
336
00:14:40,504 --> 00:14:43,423
Seafood risotto.
"Mommy doesn't love me."
337
00:14:43,715 --> 00:14:45,050
Okay, wait.
Let me try. Let me try.
338
00:14:45,342 --> 00:14:46,927
Okay, see that woman
eating lava cake?
339
00:14:47,219 --> 00:14:48,553
Touchy uncle.
340
00:14:48,845 --> 00:14:50,847
He didn't molest her.
He's just very easily offended.
341
00:14:51,139 --> 00:14:53,475
Garlic bread.
342
00:14:53,767 --> 00:14:56,895
Compulsive gambler compensating
for two failed marriages,
343
00:14:57,187 --> 00:14:58,730
and a stalled career
as a memoirist.
344
00:14:59,022 --> 00:15:00,399
You got all that
from garlic bread?
345
00:15:00,690 --> 00:15:01,983
Oh, yeah, yeah,
and he's my patient.
346
00:15:02,275 --> 00:15:04,820
So mum's the word
that puts him into a trance.
347
00:15:06,863 --> 00:15:07,948
Penny?
348
00:15:08,240 --> 00:15:09,825
Dr. Rickman?
349
00:15:10,117 --> 00:15:12,661
What a surprise.
Dave?
350
00:15:12,953 --> 00:15:14,871
How rude of me.
Let me introduce my date.
351
00:15:16,540 --> 00:15:19,584
Dr. Roz Liebowitz.
352
00:15:19,876 --> 00:15:21,711
I came as soon as I could.
Are you all right?
353
00:15:22,003 --> 00:15:23,797
Yes, I am fine.
What are you doing here?
354
00:15:24,089 --> 00:15:25,715
Well, you date my therapist,
I date yours.
355
00:15:26,007 --> 00:15:27,342
It's the old switcheroo.
356
00:15:27,634 --> 00:15:29,428
We're into each other,
aren't we, baby?
357
00:15:29,719 --> 00:15:31,263
Watch it.
If Herb Liebowitz
358
00:15:31,555 --> 00:15:33,432
had not just
had double hip replacement
359
00:15:33,723 --> 00:15:35,058
and wasn't afraid
to drive at night,
360
00:15:35,350 --> 00:15:37,519
he would come into the city
and kick your ass.
361
00:15:37,811 --> 00:15:40,105
What is going on here?
He interrupted me mid-session.
362
00:15:40,397 --> 00:15:43,442
And now I have a 10-year-old
waiting in my Grand Cherokee.
363
00:15:43,733 --> 00:15:45,152
Fantastic car.
Aha.
364
00:15:45,444 --> 00:15:48,196
Penny, David said
you were having an emergency.
365
00:15:48,488 --> 00:15:50,073
Does it look like
I'm having an emergency?
366
00:15:50,365 --> 00:15:51,616
Well,
your other sleeve's on fire.
367
00:15:51,908 --> 00:15:54,327
Damn it!
Why does this keep happening?
368
00:15:56,413 --> 00:15:58,123
You're gonna break.
Not before you.
369
00:15:58,415 --> 00:16:00,417
I know you have
a Chicago firemen calendar.
370
00:16:00,709 --> 00:16:02,169
Oh, do you?
Uh-huh.
371
00:16:02,461 --> 00:16:05,338
Well, I happen to know
that you have a...
372
00:16:05,630 --> 00:16:07,382
secret Chicago
firemen's calendar.
373
00:16:07,674 --> 00:16:09,134
You're single.
374
00:16:09,426 --> 00:16:11,386
None will date you
when they see you in that.
375
00:16:11,678 --> 00:16:13,638
Well, you're married.
None of them can see your legs.
376
00:16:13,930 --> 00:16:15,682
And I know how much you need
outside validation.
377
00:16:15,974 --> 00:16:18,268
I need a lot of validation.
378
00:16:18,560 --> 00:16:20,520
Okay, we each get
to take off one thing.
379
00:16:20,812 --> 00:16:22,355
Fine. We do it at the same time.
Fine.
380
00:16:22,647 --> 00:16:24,774
Fine. One, two, three.
One, two, three.
381
00:16:26,610 --> 00:16:28,862
How do I look?
Way worse without that hat.
382
00:16:29,154 --> 00:16:31,239
Really? Fine.
Uh-hm.
383
00:16:31,531 --> 00:16:33,366
Well, you look topless,
but your nurples fell off.
384
00:16:33,658 --> 00:16:34,743
Let's take off one more thing.
385
00:16:35,035 --> 00:16:36,119
One more thing.
386
00:16:37,329 --> 00:16:39,122
That's all this was?
387
00:16:39,414 --> 00:16:42,375
You were using me
to prove a point?
388
00:16:42,667 --> 00:16:46,004
At first, but that was before
I got to know you.
389
00:16:47,464 --> 00:16:50,175
Wait!
Sorry, dude.
390
00:16:50,467 --> 00:16:52,469
That's the way it's gotta be.
391
00:16:55,096 --> 00:16:57,390
Why couldn't he just tell her
the truth before, on the bridge?
392
00:16:57,682 --> 00:16:58,808
He couldn't.
393
00:16:59,100 --> 00:17:01,186
She bought him the train set
from his childhood.
394
00:17:01,478 --> 00:17:03,355
No, homey.
That don't sit right with me.
395
00:17:03,647 --> 00:17:05,857
They'll never get together.
Don't say that.
396
00:17:06,149 --> 00:17:08,276
That's why you brought me here?
To prove a point?
397
00:17:08,568 --> 00:17:10,403
At first, but then
something magical happen...
398
00:17:10,695 --> 00:17:12,072
No, that's why
I brought you here.
399
00:17:12,364 --> 00:17:13,323
Oh, my God.
400
00:17:13,615 --> 00:17:14,866
Penny, let me handle this.
401
00:17:15,158 --> 00:17:16,952
David, walk with me.
Gladly.
402
00:17:17,244 --> 00:17:19,996
Feel free to start.
Don't worry.
403
00:17:21,206 --> 00:17:22,415
I'll just pick.
404
00:17:26,127 --> 00:17:27,045
Where's the fire?
Right here, boys.
405
00:17:28,088 --> 00:17:30,632
Jane, I thought we agreed
to say "in our pants."
406
00:17:30,924 --> 00:17:33,051
The fire is in our pants.
What?
407
00:17:33,343 --> 00:17:37,305
The fire is in our pants.
408
00:17:39,140 --> 00:17:42,143
We are done! You are the most
unprofessional therapist ever.
409
00:17:42,435 --> 00:17:45,647
I'll tell you something else. I ain't
paying for those two 20-minute phone calls.
410
00:17:45,939 --> 00:17:47,107
Those were legit sessions.
411
00:17:47,399 --> 00:17:48,858
You called me, crying.
412
00:17:49,150 --> 00:17:51,653
Therapy's a two-way street!
No, it's not!
413
00:17:51,945 --> 00:17:53,780
Look, I think we both know
who you're upset with.
414
00:17:54,072 --> 00:17:55,282
No, you look, Rick Rickman.
415
00:17:55,574 --> 00:17:56,908
You don't tell me
who I'm upset with.
416
00:17:57,200 --> 00:17:59,411
Wait a minute.
Who am I upset with?
417
00:17:59,703 --> 00:18:02,247
Yourself. You clearly have
unresolved feelings for Penny,
418
00:18:02,539 --> 00:18:04,583
which is why you get upset
if she dates other men.
419
00:18:04,874 --> 00:18:07,752
That is rich, Rick, okay?
420
00:18:08,044 --> 00:18:10,463
No, I'm upset because my friend
is dating my shrink.
421
00:18:10,755 --> 00:18:12,257
And if you think otherwise,
you're crazy.
422
00:18:12,549 --> 00:18:14,426
I'm crazy? I'm crazy? Okay.
423
00:18:14,718 --> 00:18:17,762
Well, tell that to the American
Psychiatric Association.
424
00:18:18,054 --> 00:18:19,681
Actually, don't,
seriously, tell them that
425
00:18:19,973 --> 00:18:22,267
because they've had
their eye on me.
426
00:18:22,559 --> 00:18:23,727
I'm trying to lay low.
427
00:18:24,019 --> 00:18:26,396
Whoa, that looks really intense.
428
00:18:26,688 --> 00:18:28,148
I gotta get Dave out of here.
429
00:18:28,440 --> 00:18:30,775
Interesting.
So you'd prefer to "leave"
430
00:18:31,067 --> 00:18:33,278
with your "platonic" friend,
rather than stay
431
00:18:33,570 --> 00:18:35,655
with the eligible "man"
you're on a date with?
432
00:18:35,947 --> 00:18:39,159
Well, I wouldn't prefer it,
but Dave is really upset.
433
00:18:39,451 --> 00:18:43,204
Why are you putting air quotes
around "platonic, leaving, man"?
434
00:18:43,496 --> 00:18:44,497
Well, I'm just saying
435
00:18:44,789 --> 00:18:47,542
you have unresolved feelings
for David.
436
00:18:47,834 --> 00:18:50,003
What? That's crazy.
437
00:18:50,295 --> 00:18:52,213
Is it? I need a doggie bag.
438
00:18:52,505 --> 00:18:54,758
Mm.
Am I paying for this?
439
00:18:55,050 --> 00:18:57,969
Nicki, I don't know why
I've been looking everywhere
440
00:18:58,261 --> 00:19:01,181
when what I wanted all along
was right in front of me.
441
00:19:01,473 --> 00:19:04,309
I'll rip up the whole article.
Just say the word.
442
00:19:04,601 --> 00:19:07,395
Nick, the only word
I wanna say is...
443
00:19:07,687 --> 00:19:08,813
Yes!
444
00:19:15,362 --> 00:19:18,657
Oh.
It's so beautiful.
445
00:19:22,869 --> 00:19:24,287
I'm sorry
I was such a jerk before.
446
00:19:24,579 --> 00:19:25,622
It's totally cool with me
447
00:19:25,914 --> 00:19:27,290
if you wanna keep dating
Rick Rickman.
448
00:19:27,582 --> 00:19:29,167
Why do you keep using
his full name?
449
00:19:29,459 --> 00:19:31,211
I don't know.
I can't stop.
450
00:19:31,503 --> 00:19:32,796
I'm sorry I went out with him
451
00:19:33,088 --> 00:19:34,673
even though I knew
it bugged you.
452
00:19:34,964 --> 00:19:38,802
No, it doesn't.
Thanks, but it's okay.
453
00:19:39,094 --> 00:19:40,345
Hey, Rick says
if you like pizza,
454
00:19:40,637 --> 00:19:42,347
it means you're battling
sexual dysfunction.
455
00:19:42,639 --> 00:19:44,265
Everybody likes pizza.
456
00:19:44,557 --> 00:19:48,144
Every single person.
Mmm?
457
00:19:48,436 --> 00:19:50,355
Oh, that was the best.
458
00:19:50,647 --> 00:19:52,315
I love how Nick and Nicki
didn't realize
459
00:19:52,607 --> 00:19:53,566
they were meant for each other
460
00:19:53,858 --> 00:19:54,818
till the very end.
I know.
461
00:19:55,110 --> 00:19:56,736
And how romantic
was that fountain?
462
00:19:57,028 --> 00:19:58,613
So romantic!
463
00:19:58,905 --> 00:20:00,407
I wish those things
would happen to me.
464
00:20:00,699 --> 00:20:04,577
Oh, my God. I would die.
I would die.
465
00:20:04,869 --> 00:20:08,331
I am sorry.
These date shoes are killing me.
466
00:20:08,623 --> 00:20:12,210
You seemed pretty freaked
talking to Rick.
467
00:20:12,502 --> 00:20:13,503
What did he say to you?
468
00:20:14,796 --> 00:20:16,089
Nothing important.
469
00:20:16,381 --> 00:20:17,924
How about Roz?
What'd she say to you?
470
00:20:18,216 --> 00:20:20,301
Not much.
471
00:20:20,593 --> 00:20:22,804
You know shrinks.
They're all crazy.
472
00:20:23,096 --> 00:20:25,557
Yeah, completely bonkers.
Cuckoo.
473
00:20:32,105 --> 00:20:35,275
Going in the water.
Stop. Stop.
474
00:20:41,406 --> 00:20:43,742
We're so ridiculous.
475
00:20:44,033 --> 00:20:45,744
To think, all that
from a stupid sweater.
476
00:20:46,035 --> 00:20:49,372
I mean, clearly there's only one
mature way to solve this.
477
00:20:50,582 --> 00:20:51,875
Burn that bitch.
478
00:21:01,426 --> 00:21:03,344
Oh, man.
479
00:21:03,636 --> 00:21:05,638
I'll get the fire extinguisher.
Yeah.
480
00:21:05,930 --> 00:21:08,433
Oh.
481
00:21:08,725 --> 00:21:11,311
Here's my sweater.
No, no.
482
00:21:11,603 --> 00:21:13,146
I think that's my sweater.
I left it here.
483
00:21:13,438 --> 00:21:15,356
It was on my chair in my home.
484
00:21:15,648 --> 00:21:17,358
I purposely put it on that chair
so that I...
485
00:21:17,650 --> 00:21:19,778
That is my sweater!
486
00:21:20,069 --> 00:21:21,905
Give me my sweater.
36836
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