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1
00:00:02,919 --> 00:00:04,795
I can't find anything to wear.
2
00:00:05,087 --> 00:00:06,047
I think I finally understand
3
00:00:06,339 --> 00:00:07,548
why you don't have a second car.
4
00:00:07,840 --> 00:00:09,050
It's not all Jane's fault.
5
00:00:09,342 --> 00:00:11,010
I mean, my smoothie budget
is out of control.
6
00:00:12,053 --> 00:00:14,972
Daddy don't do
domestic papaya. Splash.
7
00:00:15,264 --> 00:00:17,141
I think I got it.
What could you have up there
8
00:00:17,433 --> 00:00:18,726
that you haven't tried on?
9
00:00:19,018 --> 00:00:20,978
You'll see.
Okay, you're a crazy lady.
10
00:00:21,270 --> 00:00:22,688
Oh, my God.
11
00:00:22,980 --> 00:00:24,649
You're gonna
wear your wedding dress
12
00:00:24,941 --> 00:00:26,150
to a charity event?
Yeah, maybe.
13
00:00:26,442 --> 00:00:28,319
I don't understand
what you're raising money for.
14
00:00:28,611 --> 00:00:31,155
Animals For Change? Trying
to genetically modify animals?
15
00:00:31,447 --> 00:00:32,740
Ooh, I want a teacup rhino.
16
00:00:33,032 --> 00:00:35,201
Animals For Change helps protect
endangered species.
17
00:00:35,493 --> 00:00:36,994
Except pandas.
They have plenty of money.
18
00:00:37,286 --> 00:00:39,038
They are the breast cancer
of animal charities.
19
00:00:39,330 --> 00:00:41,457
Someone else will be crafting
opening remarks?
20
00:00:41,749 --> 00:00:43,167
Oh, you guys,
what am I gonna wear?
21
00:00:43,459 --> 00:00:44,877
This event is stressing me out.
22
00:00:45,169 --> 00:00:46,546
Jane, let me make you a dress.
23
00:00:46,837 --> 00:00:49,131
I've been taking fashion design
classes online.
24
00:00:49,423 --> 00:00:51,425
Are you guys familiar with Tim Gunn?
Yeah.
25
00:00:51,717 --> 00:00:52,802
Sure.
Huge fan.
26
00:00:53,094 --> 00:00:54,762
It's run by
his step-second cousin
27
00:00:55,054 --> 00:00:56,222
Nick Gun, with one N.
28
00:00:56,514 --> 00:00:58,474
Tim blocked him
from using "make it work,"
29
00:00:58,766 --> 00:01:00,393
but he don't own
"figure it out."
30
00:01:00,685 --> 00:01:02,270
It's okay.
I think I'm gonna buy something.
31
00:01:02,562 --> 00:01:05,231
Yo, son, ready to take
this rock to the hole?
32
00:01:05,523 --> 00:01:07,441
What's up, son?
We going street on this, son.
33
00:01:08,734 --> 00:01:10,236
I swam as a kid.
34
00:01:10,528 --> 00:01:12,196
Max, why so much side boob?
Talk to me.
35
00:01:12,488 --> 00:01:14,323
He wants you to notice
his new tattoo.
36
00:01:14,615 --> 00:01:15,950
Oh, another tattoo, huh?
37
00:01:16,242 --> 00:01:18,327
You really don't wanna be
buried in a Jewish cemetery.
38
00:01:18,619 --> 00:01:20,746
Tacos Mi Corazon
was having a special offer.
39
00:01:21,038 --> 00:01:23,541
Get free tacos for life if
you get a tattoo of their logo.
40
00:01:23,833 --> 00:01:26,252
You don't wanna be buried
in a Mexican cemetery either.
41
00:01:26,544 --> 00:01:29,297
The joke is on you, because my
corpse will be unrecognizable.
42
00:01:29,589 --> 00:01:32,091
Only you would spend
hundreds of dollars on a tattoo
43
00:01:33,134 --> 00:01:35,011
just to get a free
99-cent food item.
44
00:01:35,303 --> 00:01:37,555
Well, it also affords me
the ability
45
00:01:37,847 --> 00:01:40,766
to threaten to get food
on your clothes every day.
46
00:01:41,058 --> 00:01:42,852
Oh, no, I won't. I couldn't.
47
00:01:43,144 --> 00:01:45,187
But I could. But I wouldn't.
48
00:01:45,479 --> 00:01:49,483
But I shouldn't. But I should.
But I shouldn't. But I...
49
00:01:52,320 --> 00:01:53,738
Respect.
50
00:02:07,668 --> 00:02:10,046
Penny, where have you been?
I texted you 911 three times.
51
00:02:10,338 --> 00:02:12,673
What is it? Did you push
a Q-tip too far in again?
52
00:02:12,965 --> 00:02:14,967
My brother dropped off his kids
for the weekend,
53
00:02:15,259 --> 00:02:18,179
so him and his ricotta-selling
wife can save their marriage,
54
00:02:18,471 --> 00:02:21,015
which, to quote
my best-man speech, "is doomed."
55
00:02:21,307 --> 00:02:23,225
So now I'm stuck
with these rug rats
56
00:02:23,517 --> 00:02:25,978
and their garbage hipster names
for like three full days.
57
00:02:28,230 --> 00:02:31,567
Hey. Django. Hi, Rope.
58
00:02:31,859 --> 00:02:33,986
Uncle Max didn't mean that.
He loves your names.
59
00:02:34,278 --> 00:02:35,863
It's just opposite day, right?
60
00:02:36,155 --> 00:02:38,532
Uh, yeah, it's opposite day.
Everything's fiip-flopped.
61
00:02:38,824 --> 00:02:40,159
Yeah. Your dad doesn't have
a Facebook profile
62
00:02:41,202 --> 00:02:42,328
under Jeffrey Scrotum.
63
00:02:42,620 --> 00:02:45,206
Come on.
What? Penny, I hate kids.
64
00:02:45,498 --> 00:02:46,916
Not the hate that goes away
65
00:02:47,208 --> 00:02:49,210
after misadventures where
we grow to love each other.
66
00:02:49,502 --> 00:02:50,961
A blistering hate for them
67
00:02:51,253 --> 00:02:52,755
and their creepy, tiny,
little features.
68
00:02:53,047 --> 00:02:54,423
Max, you're in luck.
69
00:02:54,715 --> 00:02:56,008
If there's anything that 15 years
70
00:02:56,300 --> 00:02:57,927
of babysitting has taught me,
it's one,
71
00:02:58,219 --> 00:02:59,345
if a dad asks
how school's going,
72
00:02:59,637 --> 00:03:01,013
don't bite your lip and say:
73
00:03:01,305 --> 00:03:02,890
"We're not talking
about school."
74
00:03:03,182 --> 00:03:05,184
And, two, kids love me.
75
00:03:05,476 --> 00:03:07,812
I'm gonna have these two
calling me Aunt Penny
76
00:03:08,104 --> 00:03:11,023
before Jeffrey Scrotum
can get to a thousand friends.
77
00:03:11,315 --> 00:03:13,317
So anyway,
thank you for understanding
78
00:03:13,609 --> 00:03:15,820
that I just wanna buy my dress
for the event.
79
00:03:16,112 --> 00:03:17,279
Yeah, it's totally fine.
80
00:03:17,571 --> 00:03:18,989
I mean, this is my first year
running it,
81
00:03:19,281 --> 00:03:21,325
and I wanna make my mark,
you know, stand out.
82
00:03:21,617 --> 00:03:24,453
Yes, of course. Look, I'm fine.
Come on. Hug it out.
83
00:03:24,745 --> 00:03:26,288
Okay. I can feel you
measuring me.
84
00:03:26,580 --> 00:03:27,998
Oh, come on. Give me a chance.
85
00:03:28,290 --> 00:03:30,334
Al, I am sure that
you are doing great
86
00:03:30,626 --> 00:03:32,128
at those online
Project Runway classes.
87
00:03:32,420 --> 00:03:34,171
Ooh. Legally, we're not allowed
to call it that,
88
00:03:34,463 --> 00:03:35,881
so it's Situation Walkspace.
89
00:03:36,173 --> 00:03:38,259
But, Jane,
I got so many great dress ideas.
90
00:03:38,551 --> 00:03:40,970
That's always your problem.
You have so many ideas
91
00:03:41,262 --> 00:03:42,763
and then you mash them all
together
92
00:03:43,055 --> 00:03:44,223
instead of focusing on one.
93
00:03:44,515 --> 00:03:46,392
Look, I can keep the dress
simple and elegant.
94
00:03:46,684 --> 00:03:48,978
Please. Please. Please.
Oh, hang on. I'm getting a call.
95
00:03:49,270 --> 00:03:53,733
Hello? Jane, it's for you.
It's please, please, please.
96
00:03:54,024 --> 00:03:55,693
Fine.
Yeah.
97
00:03:55,985 --> 00:03:59,363
Whoa, whoa.
No hat? Good note.
98
00:04:01,115 --> 00:04:02,199
You're pureeing.
99
00:04:02,491 --> 00:04:04,744
Now you're whipping.
No. Whisking.
100
00:04:05,035 --> 00:04:06,412
You're right
between whip and whisk.
101
00:04:06,704 --> 00:04:08,789
You're right between them.
102
00:04:09,081 --> 00:04:11,584
Now you're just chopping,
you crazy son of a bitch.
103
00:04:11,876 --> 00:04:14,044
Ha, ha! Damn, you're good.
Nine in a row.
104
00:04:14,336 --> 00:04:16,255
Yeah, man.
Who's the wild man now?
105
00:04:16,547 --> 00:04:17,798
Can't hear you.
Who's the wild man?
106
00:04:18,090 --> 00:04:19,759
- Now he can hear you.
- Brad-mamma-jamma.
107
00:04:20,050 --> 00:04:21,594
Drew-crew.
108
00:04:21,886 --> 00:04:25,014
Got those long johns
for your long john.
109
00:04:25,306 --> 00:04:27,892
Two-day priority?
I love the way you ship, man.
110
00:04:28,184 --> 00:04:29,727
I love the way you deliver.
111
00:04:30,019 --> 00:04:31,687
- Oh, Dave, Drew. Drew, Dave.
- Hey.
112
00:04:33,105 --> 00:04:34,857
All right.
Yeah, man.
113
00:04:35,149 --> 00:04:37,943
Regulation says
I gotta turn this into trash.
114
00:04:38,235 --> 00:04:39,820
Oh, no, you didn't.
Oh, yes, I did.
115
00:04:41,280 --> 00:04:42,531
Oh!
116
00:04:42,823 --> 00:04:44,325
At the buzzer.
117
00:04:44,617 --> 00:04:45,659
He makes it from way up top.
118
00:04:45,951 --> 00:04:47,203
This guy can ball.
119
00:04:47,495 --> 00:04:50,664
Stop that.
But, yes, he can.
120
00:04:50,956 --> 00:04:52,249
Drew, our buddy's
stuck babysitting
121
00:04:52,541 --> 00:04:54,668
so we need a third for our
3-on-3 game. Want in?
122
00:04:54,960 --> 00:04:57,254
Does Frank in 4B
need sex doll repair parts?
123
00:04:57,546 --> 00:04:59,882
Uh...
Yeah, he does.
124
00:05:00,174 --> 00:05:01,383
Matter of fact,
I better get going.
125
00:05:01,675 --> 00:05:03,344
He gets super horny around noon.
126
00:05:03,636 --> 00:05:04,720
But who doesn't, right?
127
00:05:05,012 --> 00:05:06,514
Amen, man.
128
00:05:06,806 --> 00:05:08,098
Is he gonna play or...?
129
00:05:08,390 --> 00:05:10,434
Oh, hey, just to be clear
on the metaphor.
130
00:05:10,726 --> 00:05:13,229
Yes, I am playing.
All right. Drew-tang clan.
131
00:05:13,521 --> 00:05:17,149
Man, I can't wait to play
basketball with that Drewd.
132
00:05:17,441 --> 00:05:22,363
And this is my favorite room
in the entire doll museum.
133
00:05:22,655 --> 00:05:25,574
It's all antique dolls.
134
00:05:25,866 --> 00:05:27,910
Wow, Penny.
This is where you take kids?
135
00:05:28,202 --> 00:05:30,621
Max, this is where I used
to take the kids I babysat.
136
00:05:30,913 --> 00:05:32,832
Sure, it's gotten
a little rundown
137
00:05:33,123 --> 00:05:34,416
since Madame LeFlarge
got dementia,
138
00:05:34,708 --> 00:05:36,627
but I think the kids
are digging it.
139
00:05:36,919 --> 00:05:40,506
I'm scared.
Guys, don't be scared, okay?
140
00:05:40,798 --> 00:05:42,466
These dolls are works of art.
141
00:05:42,758 --> 00:05:46,720
"Handcrafted with real
human hair and teeth."
142
00:05:47,012 --> 00:05:48,305
Eww.
143
00:05:48,597 --> 00:05:49,890
I'm tired and hungry.
144
00:05:50,182 --> 00:05:51,600
Aunt Penny made us some lunches
145
00:05:51,892 --> 00:05:54,353
and we're gonna go downstairs
to this cool museum café
146
00:05:54,645 --> 00:05:57,648
where you guys can eat
with the dolls.
147
00:05:57,940 --> 00:06:00,734
I don't wanna see the dolls eat.
No way.
148
00:06:01,026 --> 00:06:02,862
They're hugging me.
Little hands are all over me.
149
00:06:03,153 --> 00:06:04,321
You said you knew
what kids liked.
150
00:06:04,613 --> 00:06:06,031
They're just hungry.
151
00:06:06,323 --> 00:06:09,451
Guys, I made us cantaloupe
cut in the shape of dolls.
152
00:06:09,743 --> 00:06:11,912
It was a theme.
153
00:06:12,204 --> 00:06:13,914
Okay, you're fired.
I'm taking over. Let's go.
154
00:06:17,001 --> 00:06:18,878
I love you all.
155
00:06:19,169 --> 00:06:22,548
Wilmer, can I get four of your
most colorful Jarritos, please?
156
00:06:22,840 --> 00:06:24,884
And let me get a cup
of pico de gallo,
157
00:06:25,175 --> 00:06:29,346
extra de gallo on that.
Thanks, Wilmer.
158
00:06:29,638 --> 00:06:32,349
Cool. You don't have to pay?
Got a taco tattoo, free.
159
00:06:32,641 --> 00:06:34,059
I want a tattoo.
Me too.
160
00:06:34,351 --> 00:06:36,145
Cool. Cool.
I know a place that does kids.
161
00:06:36,437 --> 00:06:37,980
Max.
Fine.
162
00:06:38,272 --> 00:06:39,982
No tattoo until
you finish your tacos.
163
00:06:40,274 --> 00:06:42,067
Thanks, Uncle Max.
Asked you not to call me that.
164
00:06:42,359 --> 00:06:43,694
You're funny, Uncle Max.
165
00:06:43,986 --> 00:06:45,154
Hey.
166
00:06:45,446 --> 00:06:49,074
I like tacos too.
I like tacos too.
167
00:06:49,366 --> 00:06:50,409
Let's hear it forAunt Penny.
168
00:06:51,452 --> 00:06:53,537
I'm awesome!
169
00:06:57,917 --> 00:06:59,168
To be fair,
I am their real uncle.
170
00:06:59,460 --> 00:07:00,502
Blood is thicker than annoying.
171
00:07:02,463 --> 00:07:04,256
- Ha!
- What's up?
172
00:07:04,548 --> 00:07:06,258
Drew!
173
00:07:06,550 --> 00:07:09,053
You ready to ball it up, son?
You know it.
174
00:07:09,345 --> 00:07:11,847
Everything I'm wearing is from
the Pau Gasol collection.
175
00:07:12,139 --> 00:07:13,974
I just dumped out,
I should be light on my feet.
176
00:07:14,266 --> 00:07:16,268
Ninety percent
of the game's balance,
177
00:07:16,560 --> 00:07:17,436
7 percent's focus, 2 percent heart,
178
00:07:18,479 --> 00:07:20,356
2 percent is stretching
it out, homes.
179
00:07:21,899 --> 00:07:23,150
You see what I'm saying?
Watch this.
180
00:07:23,442 --> 00:07:24,401
Right on, man.
181
00:07:24,693 --> 00:07:25,861
Yeah. That's the stuff.
182
00:07:26,153 --> 00:07:27,863
All right, I think this dude
is the perfect guy
183
00:07:28,155 --> 00:07:29,406
to N1 with us, fool.
184
00:07:29,698 --> 00:07:32,159
Do you even know what N1 is?
It's a rap group.
185
00:07:32,451 --> 00:07:35,412
I know my hip-hop, son.
186
00:07:35,704 --> 00:07:38,165
Here we go. Check ball.
187
00:07:38,457 --> 00:07:39,458
Ball in. Check ball.
188
00:07:39,750 --> 00:07:40,960
Check ball.
I just said that.
189
00:07:41,251 --> 00:07:42,962
Ready to do this, bitch boy?
190
00:07:43,253 --> 00:07:44,421
Aw! Come on, man. Bring it.
191
00:07:44,713 --> 00:07:47,883
Come on, man. Come on.
Aah! Yeah. Foul.
192
00:07:48,175 --> 00:07:49,259
On who?
You.
193
00:07:49,551 --> 00:07:50,469
Everybody saw it, man.
Don't play.
194
00:07:51,512 --> 00:07:53,097
It's just a game. Check it.
195
00:07:53,389 --> 00:07:55,015
Yeah. All right. Here we go.
196
00:07:55,307 --> 00:07:57,267
It's Drew time.
You ready for this?
197
00:07:57,559 --> 00:07:58,894
I don't think so. Aah!
198
00:07:59,186 --> 00:08:00,479
Get out... Get out of my way.
199
00:08:00,771 --> 00:08:03,023
You shut up. Shut up.
Oh, come on.
200
00:08:03,315 --> 00:08:06,443
Ooh, hoo, hoo! Huh?
How you like my sweat, homeboy?
201
00:08:06,735 --> 00:08:08,779
I got weird glands.
I can't turn it off.
202
00:08:09,071 --> 00:08:10,698
I can't turn it off. Oh!
203
00:08:12,241 --> 00:08:14,702
Hey, pull your pants up, weirdo.
204
00:08:14,994 --> 00:08:17,830
I'm open. I'm open. I'm open.
Yes!
205
00:08:19,456 --> 00:08:21,875
Come on! Foul.
Man, that is ridiculous.
206
00:08:22,167 --> 00:08:24,628
You are T'd up. You are T'd up.
Get out.
207
00:08:24,920 --> 00:08:26,714
Oh!
208
00:08:27,006 --> 00:08:28,298
Gotta stay warm.
Gotta stay loose.
209
00:08:31,593 --> 00:08:32,886
What are you looking at?
210
00:08:37,057 --> 00:08:38,475
Come on, Jane. Let's see it.
211
00:08:38,767 --> 00:08:42,021
Well? It's beautiful.
212
00:08:42,312 --> 00:08:44,815
I mean, it's... It's clean,
213
00:08:45,107 --> 00:08:46,984
it's elegant,
it's not poking me.
214
00:08:47,276 --> 00:08:49,194
I mean, it's everything
I wanted for my event.
215
00:08:49,486 --> 00:08:52,322
Well, I took your advice.
I focused and I kept it simple.
216
00:08:52,614 --> 00:08:53,574
I mean, I love it.
217
00:08:53,866 --> 00:08:55,159
I am so glad
218
00:08:55,451 --> 00:08:57,578
because I thought I was gonna be
dealing with a real mess
219
00:08:57,870 --> 00:08:59,955
like a bedsheet
with secret pockets
220
00:09:00,247 --> 00:09:02,583
and Velcro with no corresponding
Velcro, maybe a...
221
00:09:02,875 --> 00:09:04,376
We can just go with "I love it."
222
00:09:04,668 --> 00:09:06,003
I do. I love it.
223
00:09:06,295 --> 00:09:07,880
Great game, guys. Ow!
224
00:09:08,172 --> 00:09:09,715
Let's go rip some beers.
225
00:09:10,007 --> 00:09:11,425
I know a bar
just a few blocks away.
226
00:09:11,717 --> 00:09:13,552
Takes coins,
so stop at a Laundromat.
227
00:09:13,844 --> 00:09:15,262
Hey, I got a thing, man.
228
00:09:15,554 --> 00:09:17,306
Sounds real. I respect that.
229
00:09:17,598 --> 00:09:19,224
I'm probably gonna go home
and watch some TV.
230
00:09:19,516 --> 00:09:23,604
Ah, yes, I hear you,
loud and clear.
231
00:09:23,896 --> 00:09:25,898
I said I had a thing, man.
I was in the clear.
232
00:09:26,190 --> 00:09:28,108
Yeah, Like I was gonna
let you leave me alone with him
233
00:09:28,400 --> 00:09:29,568
while he "showers up"
at my place.
234
00:09:29,860 --> 00:09:31,320
Hey, Brad. Thanks again, man,
235
00:09:31,612 --> 00:09:32,821
for letting me borrow
your loofah.
236
00:09:33,113 --> 00:09:34,364
Guys, gotta get over here.
237
00:09:34,656 --> 00:09:36,450
There's a great episode
of The Man Show on.
238
00:09:36,742 --> 00:09:39,787
We gotta get him out of here.
239
00:09:40,079 --> 00:09:42,122
Yo, Drew, listen, man...
240
00:09:42,414 --> 00:09:43,499
Uh, you know what?
241
00:09:43,791 --> 00:09:45,084
I already know what
you're gonna say,
242
00:09:45,375 --> 00:09:46,710
and I'm sorry.
243
00:09:47,002 --> 00:09:48,212
I got a little wild
this afternoon.
244
00:09:48,504 --> 00:09:49,880
You know, I run hot.
What can I tell you?
245
00:09:50,172 --> 00:09:52,132
I play to win,
even though we lost.
246
00:09:52,424 --> 00:09:54,093
Yeah.
It's cool, man.
247
00:09:54,384 --> 00:09:55,344
Don't worry about it.
Yeah.
248
00:09:55,636 --> 00:09:57,387
Really? All right, good,
249
00:09:57,679 --> 00:10:00,891
because I got three sweet seats
to the Bears game tomorrow
250
00:10:01,183 --> 00:10:02,184
and I'm two bros short.
251
00:10:02,476 --> 00:10:04,770
What do you say, bros?
Uh...
252
00:10:05,062 --> 00:10:06,814
Close to the action.
253
00:10:07,106 --> 00:10:09,233
All right. We wouldn't
wanna waste those.
254
00:10:09,525 --> 00:10:11,527
For real?
That's what I'm talking about.
255
00:10:17,449 --> 00:10:19,118
Hey.
Hey, Pen. What's up?
256
00:10:19,409 --> 00:10:21,787
I was in the neighb. I thought
I'd come take the kids.
257
00:10:22,079 --> 00:10:23,163
Oh, you know what?
We're cool.
258
00:10:23,455 --> 00:10:24,957
This whole "taking care
of kids" business
259
00:10:25,249 --> 00:10:27,000
is way easier than I thought.
260
00:10:27,292 --> 00:10:29,586
Yeah, TV really
is nature's babysitter.
261
00:10:29,878 --> 00:10:33,090
Yeah. You can't just plop
the kids in front of a TV
262
00:10:33,382 --> 00:10:34,758
and it's okay
because you didn't know.
263
00:10:35,050 --> 00:10:37,511
But kids need to be active.
Seriously? Come on.
264
00:10:37,803 --> 00:10:39,012
They were doing okay.
265
00:10:39,304 --> 00:10:40,722
Eventually,
they'll get bored of this.
266
00:10:41,014 --> 00:10:41,974
I'll tag you on out.
267
00:10:42,266 --> 00:10:43,934
I'm good.
Ain't no thang. Get out.
268
00:10:44,226 --> 00:10:47,271
It's a thang. I can't leave...
Pass me the baton, Max.
269
00:10:47,563 --> 00:10:48,647
I need them to love me.
270
00:10:53,986 --> 00:10:56,029
I'm Princess Penny
271
00:10:56,321 --> 00:10:57,865
from the palace of Chicago.
272
00:10:58,157 --> 00:10:59,449
Huh?
273
00:10:59,741 --> 00:11:03,245
Who's ready for a heated
link here, huh? Anybody?
274
00:11:03,537 --> 00:11:05,330
They're good. Knock, knock.
275
00:11:05,622 --> 00:11:07,666
Try it, man.
It's delicious.
276
00:11:07,958 --> 00:11:10,669
Come on, big man.
Give it a shot. Come on, man.
277
00:11:10,961 --> 00:11:12,754
All right. Brad, how you like
that baked ziti?
278
00:11:13,046 --> 00:11:14,381
Mm-hm!
I call it trunk ziti
279
00:11:14,673 --> 00:11:16,884
because the trunk bakes it.
280
00:11:17,176 --> 00:11:18,719
Better pound these beers
and get in there.
281
00:11:19,011 --> 00:11:20,888
Game's about to start.
No way.
282
00:11:21,180 --> 00:11:22,472
You got tickets to the game?
283
00:11:22,764 --> 00:11:24,308
Yeah. Your tickets,
the ones you got for us.
284
00:11:24,600 --> 00:11:27,728
Oh, no, no. I said I had seats
close to the action, and we do.
285
00:11:28,020 --> 00:11:30,022
We're gonna be watching the game
from the 50-yard line
286
00:11:30,314 --> 00:11:32,232
of Billy's flattie.
Yo, Billy.
287
00:11:34,318 --> 00:11:36,320
Uh...
What?
288
00:11:36,612 --> 00:11:39,239
My seats aren't good enough
for you guys?
289
00:11:39,531 --> 00:11:41,200
No, it's just... I have a thing.
290
00:11:41,491 --> 00:11:43,869
He had a thing yesterday
and now you have a thing?
291
00:11:44,161 --> 00:11:47,039
No way two different guys
have two different things
292
00:11:47,331 --> 00:11:48,749
two days in a row.
293
00:11:49,041 --> 00:11:50,500
Bro, we just thought...
294
00:11:50,792 --> 00:11:53,754
You just thought you were better
than me, huh, Mr. Rich Man?
295
00:11:54,046 --> 00:11:55,547
Getting two-day shipping,
296
00:11:55,839 --> 00:11:57,216
like you don't have a care
in the world.
297
00:11:57,507 --> 00:11:58,467
I do ground sometimes.
298
00:12:00,802 --> 00:12:02,721
I think there's been some kind
of misunderstanding.
299
00:12:03,013 --> 00:12:05,807
Yeah, you misunderstood
how powerful I am, gigolo.
300
00:12:06,099 --> 00:12:07,517
What?
Gigolo?
301
00:12:07,809 --> 00:12:09,770
I know everything about
both of you.
302
00:12:10,062 --> 00:12:12,189
Socials, credit card numbers...
303
00:12:12,481 --> 00:12:14,107
Wait a minute.
How do you know about my stuff?
304
00:12:14,399 --> 00:12:16,944
Because I'm a mailman.
305
00:12:17,236 --> 00:12:18,820
And I know your mailman.
306
00:12:19,112 --> 00:12:21,865
His name's Robin.
307
00:12:22,157 --> 00:12:24,743
And we're close.
308
00:12:26,578 --> 00:12:28,664
Billy. Kickoff time.
Yes.
309
00:12:28,956 --> 00:12:30,999
Yeah. Yeah.
310
00:12:31,291 --> 00:12:34,503
What's up, Billy?
Hey, Billy. You look racist.
311
00:12:34,795 --> 00:12:36,505
Hmm.
312
00:12:36,797 --> 00:12:40,092
Good morning, Kate.
Welcome to Animals For Change.
313
00:12:40,384 --> 00:12:44,805
You are a hippo.
314
00:12:45,097 --> 00:12:46,556
Kate's a hippo.
315
00:12:48,392 --> 00:12:50,352
Okay, next year,
no tables named after animals.
316
00:12:50,644 --> 00:12:52,771
Jane.
317
00:12:53,063 --> 00:12:55,315
Don't you look smart.
I love your dress.
318
00:12:55,607 --> 00:12:57,359
Thank you, Mary.
My sister made it.
319
00:12:57,651 --> 00:13:00,279
She's an up-and-coming designer,
and this dress, one of a kind.
320
00:13:00,570 --> 00:13:03,323
Oh, really? One of a kind?
321
00:13:03,615 --> 00:13:05,325
Yeah, completely original.
322
00:13:05,617 --> 00:13:06,576
My sister's quite the talent.
323
00:13:06,868 --> 00:13:09,788
Your sister's J. Crew?
324
00:13:10,080 --> 00:13:13,000
Oh, my God.
Oh, same color. Okay.
325
00:13:13,292 --> 00:13:15,460
My sister is J. Crew.
326
00:13:15,752 --> 00:13:17,546
Hi. I'm Beyoncé,
327
00:13:17,838 --> 00:13:19,464
and I'm having a baby.
328
00:13:19,756 --> 00:13:21,717
Yo. Huh, huh, huh.
329
00:13:22,009 --> 00:13:23,635
It's your boy, Jay-Z.
330
00:13:25,846 --> 00:13:27,764
Holla back.
Holla back for Babe-Z.
331
00:13:28,056 --> 00:13:29,850
Holla back.
332
00:13:30,142 --> 00:13:33,145
Holla back. Guys, holla...
Who's hollering b...?
333
00:13:33,437 --> 00:13:36,481
Hey. What's going on?
Oh, we're playing Diner.
334
00:13:36,773 --> 00:13:39,109
Right now they're making me
a ham and cheese sandwich.
335
00:13:39,401 --> 00:13:41,111
I get to be manager.
336
00:13:41,403 --> 00:13:44,448
Hey, hey, hey. Give me that
knife and like me more.
337
00:13:44,740 --> 00:13:46,241
Pen, if there's anything
the last 36 hours
338
00:13:46,533 --> 00:13:47,868
of babysitting has taught me,
339
00:13:48,160 --> 00:13:51,455
it's that kids like to be
treated like adults.
340
00:13:51,747 --> 00:13:53,457
Hey, Rope,
when I said surprise me,
341
00:13:53,749 --> 00:13:56,585
I didn't mean by bringing
me a terrible sandwich.
342
00:13:56,877 --> 00:13:58,670
We love you, Uncle Max.
343
00:14:00,464 --> 00:14:01,882
See you again. Hey.
344
00:14:02,174 --> 00:14:03,383
Hey, Al.
345
00:14:03,675 --> 00:14:06,803
I got so many comments
on this dress.
346
00:14:07,095 --> 00:14:08,597
Really?
Yeah.
347
00:14:08,889 --> 00:14:10,557
Most of them were
I can't believe
348
00:14:10,849 --> 00:14:13,143
we're all wearing
the same dress.
349
00:14:13,435 --> 00:14:17,981
Okay. I'm busted.
350
00:14:18,273 --> 00:14:19,399
Did I ruin the event for you?
351
00:14:19,691 --> 00:14:22,110
No. Accidentally seating
five plus-size women
352
00:14:22,402 --> 00:14:24,071
at the hippo table
ruined the event.
353
00:14:24,363 --> 00:14:28,408
Apparently, all my large donors
are large donors, so...
354
00:14:28,700 --> 00:14:30,369
Why did you lie?
355
00:14:30,660 --> 00:14:32,579
Because I wanted to show you
I could make a simple
356
00:14:32,871 --> 00:14:34,998
and elegant dress
and it turned out horrible.
357
00:14:35,290 --> 00:14:37,584
I'm sure it's not that bad.
Show it to me.
358
00:14:37,876 --> 00:14:38,835
Okay.
359
00:14:40,379 --> 00:14:41,755
Here it is.
360
00:14:44,216 --> 00:14:45,759
Garbage. Wow.
361
00:14:46,051 --> 00:14:47,219
You know what?
No. I'm sorry.
362
00:14:47,511 --> 00:14:48,512
When you really look at it,
363
00:14:48,804 --> 00:14:50,013
it is actually worse
than garbage.
364
00:14:50,305 --> 00:14:51,431
That is horrible.
365
00:14:51,723 --> 00:14:52,724
I'm sorry. I'm sorry. It's...
366
00:14:53,016 --> 00:14:54,768
I don't know
what I was thinking.
367
00:14:55,060 --> 00:14:57,396
I stapled on five feathers.
Why feathers?
368
00:14:57,687 --> 00:14:58,897
Why staples?
369
00:14:59,189 --> 00:15:00,982
I should just throw it out.
370
00:15:01,274 --> 00:15:03,527
Clearly, I am not good enough.
371
00:15:03,819 --> 00:15:04,820
Alex, wait.
372
00:15:05,112 --> 00:15:07,656
Give me the dress. I want it.
373
00:15:07,948 --> 00:15:09,116
Why?
374
00:15:09,408 --> 00:15:10,951
Because you are gonna get
better at this.
375
00:15:11,243 --> 00:15:12,411
Okay? You're gonna
figure it out.
376
00:15:12,702 --> 00:15:14,579
And one day,
people are gonna be fighting
377
00:15:14,871 --> 00:15:17,541
over an Alex Kerkovich original,
and I want the first one.
378
00:15:19,709 --> 00:15:21,670
Do you have a lint roller?
Because there's little...
379
00:15:21,962 --> 00:15:23,380
No. That's supposed to be there.
380
00:15:23,672 --> 00:15:25,048
Oh, it's not sticking back on.
381
00:15:25,340 --> 00:15:26,466
Stapler.
382
00:15:26,758 --> 00:15:28,051
It's gonna be fine.
383
00:15:28,343 --> 00:15:29,428
He's never gonna know it was us.
384
00:15:29,719 --> 00:15:31,138
We'll just find his supervisor,
385
00:15:31,430 --> 00:15:33,682
tell him one of his employees
is abusing postal data
386
00:15:33,974 --> 00:15:35,350
and terrorizing customers.
387
00:15:35,642 --> 00:15:37,686
Right. Also, I wanna buy
Karl Malden Forever stamps.
388
00:15:37,978 --> 00:15:39,229
Of course.
We'll make time for that.
389
00:15:39,521 --> 00:15:40,772
Yes. Excuse me.
390
00:15:41,064 --> 00:15:43,984
I need to speak to somebody
about my mailman Drew.
391
00:15:44,276 --> 00:15:46,736
Crazy, right?
Totally insane.
392
00:15:47,028 --> 00:15:48,029
I can't believe he's dead.
393
00:15:48,321 --> 00:15:49,489
What now?
394
00:15:49,781 --> 00:15:51,658
He was delivering
a package out at the zoo,
395
00:15:51,950 --> 00:15:54,286
thought one of the polar bears
was big-timing him.
396
00:15:54,578 --> 00:15:55,787
He got in the polar bear's face
397
00:15:56,079 --> 00:15:57,956
and the polar bear proceeded
to maul him
398
00:15:58,248 --> 00:15:59,916
about the chest and buttocks.
399
00:16:00,208 --> 00:16:02,586
I'm sorry.
Were you friends of his?
400
00:16:02,878 --> 00:16:05,005
Because we were trying to put
together a memorial for him
401
00:16:05,297 --> 00:16:08,425
but none of us really knew him.
402
00:16:08,717 --> 00:16:10,594
Nope.
I got a thing.
403
00:16:17,267 --> 00:16:19,644
What does it say about us
that we're not devastated
404
00:16:19,936 --> 00:16:22,981
that this guy we've been
hanging out with is now just gone?
405
00:16:23,273 --> 00:16:24,649
What does it say about Drew
406
00:16:24,941 --> 00:16:26,693
that neither one of us
was surprised
407
00:16:26,985 --> 00:16:28,778
that he taunted a bear
into a murderous rage?
408
00:16:29,070 --> 00:16:30,572
Yeah.
409
00:16:30,864 --> 00:16:32,991
Poor guy didn't have a friend
to throw a memorial for him.
410
00:16:33,283 --> 00:16:35,535
He did take us to a Bears game.
No, he didn't.
411
00:16:35,827 --> 00:16:37,120
Well, you know what we gotta do.
412
00:16:37,412 --> 00:16:39,331
Find 40 pounds of seal meat,
413
00:16:39,623 --> 00:16:40,999
lace it with ketamine,
find that bear,
414
00:16:41,291 --> 00:16:43,043
knock it out, steal its baby.
415
00:16:43,335 --> 00:16:45,003
I like it.
Psychological warfare.
416
00:16:45,295 --> 00:16:46,671
But first,
we gotta throw a memorial
417
00:16:46,963 --> 00:16:49,090
for a guy we barely even know.
Yeah.
418
00:16:49,382 --> 00:16:50,592
And then we do
the seal meat thing.
419
00:16:50,884 --> 00:16:53,762
You know it. N1, son.
420
00:16:54,054 --> 00:16:55,180
N1.
421
00:16:55,472 --> 00:16:56,431
I'll get you inside.
422
00:16:56,723 --> 00:16:57,933
No, we're great. They're great.
423
00:16:58,225 --> 00:16:59,309
Everybody's great.
424
00:16:59,601 --> 00:17:01,311
Django, more coffee.
425
00:17:01,603 --> 00:17:03,730
Yeah, take your time, bro.
426
00:17:04,022 --> 00:17:05,815
Enjoy that ricotta,
know what I'm saying?
427
00:17:06,107 --> 00:17:07,943
Okay, love you too, man.
428
00:17:08,235 --> 00:17:10,320
Django, seriously, more coffee.
429
00:17:10,612 --> 00:17:13,657
Uncle Max, I don't wanna play
Diner anymore.
430
00:17:13,949 --> 00:17:16,618
Me neither. We're bored.
431
00:17:16,910 --> 00:17:18,119
I wanna do something fun.
432
00:17:18,411 --> 00:17:20,789
We've already played
Diner, Maid, Car Wash,
433
00:17:21,081 --> 00:17:24,000
Dog-Kidnapper-and-Bring-Her
- Backer-For-a-$50-Rewarder.
434
00:17:24,292 --> 00:17:25,627
I don't know
what else to do with you.
435
00:17:25,919 --> 00:17:27,546
I can't find my tie. My tie.
436
00:17:27,837 --> 00:17:30,131
Django, come on, man.
You gotta stay out of my closet.
437
00:17:30,423 --> 00:17:32,467
I'm off to Drew's memorial.
438
00:17:32,759 --> 00:17:34,177
You guys wanna see a dead body?
439
00:17:34,469 --> 00:17:35,554
Yeah.
Yeah.
440
00:17:39,891 --> 00:17:41,726
Drew was a man,
441
00:17:42,018 --> 00:17:45,438
a mailman, who lived life...
442
00:17:45,730 --> 00:17:47,399
on Earth,
443
00:17:47,691 --> 00:17:51,570
Chicago, right here.
444
00:17:51,861 --> 00:17:53,405
Every day.
Every day.
445
00:17:53,697 --> 00:17:56,366
He delivered mail.
446
00:17:56,658 --> 00:17:58,326
Help me out, Dave.
447
00:17:58,618 --> 00:18:01,413
Everybody that knew Drew
knows that he was a man
448
00:18:01,705 --> 00:18:03,415
that really enjoyed
heating food with his car,
449
00:18:03,707 --> 00:18:05,500
Mm.
And yelling.
450
00:18:05,792 --> 00:18:07,836
Drew loved to play basketball.
451
00:18:08,128 --> 00:18:09,754
I can't believe
you wore my dress.
452
00:18:10,046 --> 00:18:11,423
I wanted to show you
how proud I am,
453
00:18:11,715 --> 00:18:14,718
and I do not care what anyone
in here thinks of me.
454
00:18:15,010 --> 00:18:16,845
Could've stopped at
"I'm so proud of you."
455
00:18:17,137 --> 00:18:19,139
I am.
456
00:18:19,431 --> 00:18:21,683
Thank you. Whoa.
Oh. Okay.
457
00:18:21,975 --> 00:18:24,603
A few too many staples. Really.
Yeah.
458
00:18:24,894 --> 00:18:26,187
Ugh. Would you look at that.
459
00:18:26,479 --> 00:18:30,525
Bringing kids to a memorial
service at a bar?
460
00:18:30,817 --> 00:18:32,193
Why didn't I think of that?
461
00:18:32,485 --> 00:18:33,653
You said there'd be a dead body.
462
00:18:33,945 --> 00:18:36,323
There is. Right there.
463
00:18:36,615 --> 00:18:39,159
What do you mean?
Well, they took the body
464
00:18:39,451 --> 00:18:41,119
and they burned it for hours,
465
00:18:41,411 --> 00:18:45,415
then they burned it some more,
stuck it in there.
466
00:18:45,707 --> 00:18:47,917
Is he in heaven now?
Who knows?
467
00:18:48,209 --> 00:18:49,294
Then what happens when you die?
468
00:18:49,586 --> 00:18:50,587
I think you just go away,
469
00:18:50,879 --> 00:18:51,838
like the light turns off.
470
00:18:52,130 --> 00:18:53,798
So you're just gone?
471
00:18:54,090 --> 00:18:55,550
Yeah, you're just gone.
472
00:18:55,842 --> 00:18:58,136
Nothing else?
Nothing else.
473
00:18:58,428 --> 00:19:00,138
You know how there's people
that will remember you forever?
474
00:19:01,181 --> 00:19:04,893
They die too.
475
00:19:05,185 --> 00:19:06,645
What are you doing?
476
00:19:06,936 --> 00:19:09,481
I thought you said you wanted
to be treated like adults.
477
00:19:09,773 --> 00:19:12,692
Penny!
478
00:19:27,123 --> 00:19:30,251
And so, of course,
there's a heaven.
479
00:19:30,543 --> 00:19:32,671
And the clouds
are made of candy,
480
00:19:32,962 --> 00:19:36,675
and you can eat free tacos even if you
never got a tattoo, which you shouldn't.
481
00:19:36,966 --> 00:19:38,218
If you must,
don't go lower back.
482
00:19:38,510 --> 00:19:39,761
They're very hard to remove.
483
00:19:40,053 --> 00:19:42,472
And everyone is happy
all the time.
484
00:19:42,764 --> 00:19:44,599
It doesn't even matter,
485
00:19:44,891 --> 00:19:46,351
because by the time
you guys are that old,
486
00:19:46,643 --> 00:19:50,188
they will have invented magical
robots to help us live forever.
487
00:19:51,231 --> 00:19:52,732
Really? But heaven sounds fun.
488
00:19:53,024 --> 00:19:54,359
I wanna die.
Me too.
489
00:19:54,651 --> 00:19:55,694
How we gonna do it?
490
00:19:55,985 --> 00:19:57,862
No, no, no. Reverse. Reverse.
Back...
491
00:19:58,154 --> 00:20:00,615
Hey, how we doing here?
Great. Thanks, Aunt Penny.
492
00:20:00,907 --> 00:20:02,951
You're the best, Aunt Penny.
493
00:20:03,243 --> 00:20:05,620
Aunt Penny.
494
00:20:05,912 --> 00:20:08,289
Actually, can we not?
"Aunt Penny" makes me sound old.
495
00:20:08,581 --> 00:20:11,000
Yeah, she doesn't need any help
in that department, huh?
496
00:20:11,292 --> 00:20:14,003
Max, please.
Come here, you guys.
497
00:20:17,507 --> 00:20:19,342
We would like to say
a final goodbye.
498
00:20:19,634 --> 00:20:21,177
Our time spent with you
was not easy.
499
00:20:21,469 --> 00:20:23,805
In fact, it was a little
uncomfortable.
500
00:20:24,097 --> 00:20:28,518
But you represented something
very, very, very special.
501
00:20:28,810 --> 00:20:30,061
Sorry I'm late. Sorry I'm late.
502
00:20:30,353 --> 00:20:32,480
Are we spreading the ashes
of a guy we barely knew?
503
00:20:32,772 --> 00:20:34,315
No. This is the dress
Alex made for Jane.
504
00:20:34,607 --> 00:20:36,234
It had to be destroyed.
We killed it.
505
00:20:36,526 --> 00:20:37,944
Okay.
506
00:20:38,236 --> 00:20:40,405
You're going to the big
walk-in closet in the sky.
507
00:20:40,697 --> 00:20:42,157
Say hi to Nemo's mom for me.
508
00:20:56,379 --> 00:20:57,714
I'm getting some blowback.
509
00:20:58,006 --> 00:20:59,716
It's all in my mouth.
Whatever.
510
00:21:00,008 --> 00:21:01,384
Hey, guys.
511
00:21:01,676 --> 00:21:03,261
I got the dress I burned.
512
00:21:03,553 --> 00:21:06,514
- Huh?
- Wait.
513
00:21:06,806 --> 00:21:07,932
Why?
514
00:21:10,185 --> 00:21:13,855
- It's all over me!
- Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
515
00:21:14,147 --> 00:21:16,941
- No! It's all over me!
- Oh, my God. It's Drew.
516
00:21:17,233 --> 00:21:19,027
It's Drew.
This is Drew?
517
00:21:19,319 --> 00:21:20,862
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
38100
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