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1
00:00:02,793 --> 00:00:05,379
Check out what we've been
working on all afternoon.
2
00:00:05,671 --> 00:00:06,631
Hit it, B.
3
00:00:09,967 --> 00:00:13,221
Taking it.
4
00:00:13,513 --> 00:00:15,431
Double Dutch, go.
5
00:00:17,517 --> 00:00:19,101
Uh.
Okay.
6
00:00:19,393 --> 00:00:21,312
Now that that's settled,
what are we doing?
7
00:00:21,604 --> 00:00:23,397
Revenge of the Nerds marathon.
8
00:00:23,689 --> 00:00:25,816
I know what I'm doing
with the next seven hours.
9
00:00:26,108 --> 00:00:27,693
If you play
Revenge of the Nerds III
10
00:00:27,985 --> 00:00:29,820
and TLC's CrazySexyCool
at the same time,
11
00:00:30,112 --> 00:00:31,072
they sync perfectly.
12
00:00:31,364 --> 00:00:32,573
Sorry, can't join you guys.
13
00:00:32,865 --> 00:00:35,159
Me and Jane have an awesome
double date planned.
14
00:00:35,451 --> 00:00:37,036
Gonna hit a wine bar, talk about
good school districts.
15
00:00:38,079 --> 00:00:40,122
You wanna stay here?
Of course I do.
16
00:00:40,414 --> 00:00:41,624
Lamar's most infiuential
17
00:00:41,916 --> 00:00:44,585
African-American character
after Radio and Malcolm X.
18
00:00:44,877 --> 00:00:47,296
Nobody moves!
19
00:00:47,588 --> 00:00:51,384
My leftover chicken Parm sando
is missing and I want answers.
20
00:00:51,676 --> 00:00:54,345
Dave, you know how seriously
I take my pre-dinner meal.
21
00:00:54,637 --> 00:00:56,889
Why don't you admit
that you eat two dinners?
22
00:00:57,181 --> 00:00:59,058
I'm not a Hobbit.
They ate two breakfasts.
23
00:00:59,350 --> 00:01:01,060
He does that too.
That's not the point!
24
00:01:01,352 --> 00:01:03,396
Food is missing
and this is not the first time.
25
00:01:03,688 --> 00:01:05,856
My carnitas burrito
from a week ago, gone.
26
00:01:06,148 --> 00:01:09,193
My pizza from last Wednesday?
Poof, into thin air.
27
00:01:09,485 --> 00:01:11,445
My 40-piece chicken nugget
for my birthday
28
00:01:11,737 --> 00:01:13,698
has just vanished.
You're acting crazy.
29
00:01:13,990 --> 00:01:15,533
Am I?
30
00:01:15,825 --> 00:01:18,160
Am I? Am I?
31
00:01:22,081 --> 00:01:23,207
Talk about.
32
00:01:23,499 --> 00:01:25,167
Don't ease the tension
with dance.
33
00:01:35,344 --> 00:01:36,637
I can't believe
34
00:01:36,929 --> 00:01:38,764
you've never been
to that Korean spa.
35
00:01:39,056 --> 00:01:41,100
I can't either. I thought
I'd been to every spa.
36
00:01:41,392 --> 00:01:44,645
This place does an akasuri face
scrub that is life-changing.
37
00:01:44,937 --> 00:01:46,105
Better than the abalone
sea kelp wrap?
38
00:01:47,148 --> 00:01:50,109
Brad, do you have any idea what
these two are talking about?
39
00:01:50,401 --> 00:01:52,987
Oh, yeah, see, a scrub can
really exfoliate your face,
40
00:01:53,279 --> 00:01:55,698
but a wrap,
now, that just gets in there.
41
00:01:55,990 --> 00:01:57,408
Nope, no clue.
42
00:01:57,700 --> 00:02:00,578
I like beer, man.
And rattlesnakes.
43
00:02:00,870 --> 00:02:02,330
Jane, I have some free
spa passes.
44
00:02:02,622 --> 00:02:03,831
I'd love for you to go with me.
45
00:02:04,123 --> 00:02:06,709
I would love that.
Good.
46
00:02:07,001 --> 00:02:10,463
You guys can watch the game
while we go to the spa. Great?
47
00:02:10,755 --> 00:02:12,632
Yeah.
Yeah, that'd be awesome.
48
00:02:12,923 --> 00:02:14,300
That's gonna be horrible.
49
00:02:14,592 --> 00:02:17,178
Your voice gets high when you
don't wanna do something.
50
00:02:17,470 --> 00:02:19,180
What?
"I love tofu spare ribs."
51
00:02:19,472 --> 00:02:21,307
"I'll go wine country
with your parents."
52
00:02:21,599 --> 00:02:23,768
"I'll take care of you
after you finish with me."
53
00:02:24,060 --> 00:02:26,145
I don't do that. Whatever.
I work with Carl,
54
00:02:27,188 --> 00:02:29,315
but I don't wanna be friends
with him.
55
00:02:29,607 --> 00:02:31,359
Brad, we've talked about this.
56
00:02:31,651 --> 00:02:34,153
You need to be open to new
things, new experiences.
57
00:02:34,445 --> 00:02:35,988
I'm open to new experiences.
58
00:02:36,280 --> 00:02:38,741
You've worn the same costume
for the past 15 years.
59
00:02:39,033 --> 00:02:40,159
I love it!
60
00:02:41,202 --> 00:02:43,579
Double Snookis!
61
00:02:43,871 --> 00:02:45,081
Ooh, ooh, ooh!
62
00:02:45,373 --> 00:02:47,625
There's my fresh fly posse.
Ah, yes.
63
00:02:47,917 --> 00:02:49,001
Where my dog pound at?
64
00:02:49,293 --> 00:02:52,171
Where my dog pound? Yes.
65
00:02:52,463 --> 00:02:54,340
What? Arsenio's timeless.
66
00:02:54,632 --> 00:02:57,093
Look, I really like
Carl and Dianne.
67
00:02:57,385 --> 00:02:59,095
They're sophisticated,
and married.
68
00:02:59,387 --> 00:03:00,888
We could really learn from them.
69
00:03:01,180 --> 00:03:04,850
Fine, I'll go on a dude date
with Carl.
70
00:03:05,142 --> 00:03:07,019
But I want one of those
sea kelp face wraps.
71
00:03:07,311 --> 00:03:09,105
I like my T-zone
all supple and dewy.
72
00:03:09,397 --> 00:03:10,189
Damn it, why does
that turn me on?
73
00:03:11,232 --> 00:03:12,733
Uh.
74
00:03:15,528 --> 00:03:16,862
A lot of cute guys here tonight.
75
00:03:17,154 --> 00:03:18,489
Not what I'm looking for.
76
00:03:18,781 --> 00:03:20,741
It's been a while
since you and Dave split up.
77
00:03:21,033 --> 00:03:23,077
Maybe you should think
about dating again.
78
00:03:23,369 --> 00:03:25,204
I don't think I'm ready yet.
Are you sure?
79
00:03:25,496 --> 00:03:27,415
I feel like tonight's perfect
80
00:03:27,707 --> 00:03:29,208
for you to get back out there.
I don't think so.
81
00:03:30,251 --> 00:03:32,670
Well, what if you were stuck
in a trap in the woods
82
00:03:32,962 --> 00:03:34,380
and a cougar
was trying to eat you.
83
00:03:34,672 --> 00:03:36,257
Would you date then?
That's insane.
84
00:03:36,549 --> 00:03:38,134
Why would that happen?
Forget that.
85
00:03:38,426 --> 00:03:40,219
Maybe your dad
is the head of elite unit,
86
00:03:40,511 --> 00:03:42,012
and he only has 24 hours...
87
00:03:42,304 --> 00:03:44,056
The point is, would you date?
I guess.
88
00:03:44,348 --> 00:03:45,349
I knew it.
Hi.
89
00:03:45,641 --> 00:03:47,184
I'm Clark. This is Pete.
90
00:03:47,476 --> 00:03:50,229
Surprise double date!
Waiter, round of sambucs.
91
00:03:50,521 --> 00:03:52,398
You're welcome.
92
00:03:52,690 --> 00:03:55,025
Can you believe Penny
surprise-double-dated me?
93
00:03:55,317 --> 00:03:58,237
I feel like I was
on a UPN reality show.
94
00:03:58,529 --> 00:04:00,030
Crazy.
95
00:04:00,322 --> 00:04:03,451
I hired you to help me
paint the store. Not lay around.
96
00:04:03,743 --> 00:04:05,619
Then why'd you bring
all these newspapers?
97
00:04:05,911 --> 00:04:07,163
They're four months old, okay?
98
00:04:07,455 --> 00:04:09,498
We're using them
as a drop cloth, dumb-ass.
99
00:04:09,790 --> 00:04:11,792
I don't know
all your fancy painting terms.
100
00:04:12,084 --> 00:04:13,085
And it's no big deal.
101
00:04:13,377 --> 00:04:14,670
You should be out there dating.
102
00:04:14,962 --> 00:04:16,088
The world is open to you.
103
00:04:16,380 --> 00:04:18,507
Chase your joy, dear Libra.
What?
104
00:04:18,799 --> 00:04:20,885
This is your horoscope
four months ago.
105
00:04:21,177 --> 00:04:23,053
It says you will meet a tall,
dark stranger.
106
00:04:23,345 --> 00:04:25,014
I did get hit on
by Dr. Sanjay Gupta.
107
00:04:25,306 --> 00:04:27,266
You got hit on by him
and didn't tell anybody?
108
00:04:27,558 --> 00:04:29,226
Yeah.
Hey, Al.
109
00:04:29,518 --> 00:04:30,811
When you were living with Dave,
110
00:04:31,103 --> 00:04:32,521
did he ever steal
your leftovers,
111
00:04:32,813 --> 00:04:34,815
maybe throw them out?
It's happening.
112
00:04:35,107 --> 00:04:37,067
What's happening?
Is this a conspiracy?
113
00:04:37,359 --> 00:04:39,195
Are you all doing this
because I'm chubby?
114
00:04:39,487 --> 00:04:41,030
I retain water
like a pregnant woman
115
00:04:41,322 --> 00:04:43,324
in a humid climate,
which is a real condition.
116
00:04:43,616 --> 00:04:46,827
Dave is a sleepwalker, okay,
and he does crazy things.
117
00:04:47,119 --> 00:04:48,996
Eating, repotting plants.
118
00:04:49,288 --> 00:04:52,041
He even sang all the songs
from Les Mis, and he nailed it.
119
00:04:52,333 --> 00:04:54,460
What did he do?
He said he'd never seen Les Mis.
120
00:04:54,752 --> 00:04:56,712
It was very weird.
About the sleepwalking.
121
00:04:57,004 --> 00:04:58,672
Oh! Totally denies it.
122
00:04:58,964 --> 00:05:00,382
Gonna have to catch him
in the act.
123
00:05:00,674 --> 00:05:03,260
Need night-vision goggles,
high-end, military grade.
124
00:05:03,552 --> 00:05:05,846
Runs about 9000-10,000.
How much are you paying me?
125
00:05:06,138 --> 00:05:07,890
Fifty bucks and a box
of cheddar bunnies.
126
00:05:08,182 --> 00:05:09,350
Damn! I need those things.
127
00:05:09,642 --> 00:05:11,519
Just ask Jane if you can borrow
her nanny cam.
128
00:05:11,811 --> 00:05:13,771
Why does Jane have a nanny cam?
129
00:05:14,063 --> 00:05:17,107
I like to know what our stuff is
doing when we're not here.
130
00:05:17,399 --> 00:05:19,401
Okay, we had some workers
that I didn't trust,
131
00:05:19,693 --> 00:05:22,154
and then he fell in love
with the teddy bear.
132
00:05:22,446 --> 00:05:24,114
Trying to catch Brad
doing something?
133
00:05:24,406 --> 00:05:26,867
Yes, damn it,
why hasn't it worked yet?
134
00:05:27,159 --> 00:05:29,328
Hey, honey.
Hi, babe.
135
00:05:29,620 --> 00:05:32,248
So I hope your niece
likes the teddy bear
136
00:05:32,540 --> 00:05:36,502
and there's only eight gigabytes
of hugs to give.
137
00:05:40,840 --> 00:05:42,216
So what are you trying to film?
138
00:05:42,508 --> 00:05:44,176
You know about the teddy cam?
139
00:05:44,468 --> 00:05:47,179
Of course. It's cool. I learned
how to use it to my advantage.
140
00:05:53,269 --> 00:05:54,520
Hey, babe?
141
00:05:54,812 --> 00:05:57,815
Max found this place
with the best prime rib.
142
00:05:58,107 --> 00:06:00,359
It's in a strip club, but I'm
just going there for lunch.
143
00:06:01,402 --> 00:06:02,820
Of course, Boo.
144
00:06:03,112 --> 00:06:05,072
Oh, my ne...
145
00:06:05,364 --> 00:06:07,658
Why can't I say it?
Fine.
146
00:06:07,950 --> 00:06:10,119
My ne...
Changed my mind immediately.
147
00:06:10,411 --> 00:06:11,829
I'm gonna get on the bus
with this,
148
00:06:12,121 --> 00:06:14,874
buy a sandwich,
and catch a sleepwalking Dave.
149
00:06:15,165 --> 00:06:17,543
Nothing there makes you reassess
what you're doing?
150
00:06:17,835 --> 00:06:19,587
Nope.
All right.
151
00:06:19,879 --> 00:06:21,213
Bye, Jane.
Bye.
152
00:06:21,505 --> 00:06:24,592
So how'd drinks go with Carl?
153
00:06:24,884 --> 00:06:26,343
Oh, it was cool.
Carl's a good guy.
154
00:06:26,635 --> 00:06:29,221
Oh, I'm so happy because
I really, really like Dianne,
155
00:06:29,513 --> 00:06:32,558
although I can't believe all
the stuff they've been through.
156
00:06:32,850 --> 00:06:35,060
What's that, now?
You don't know?
157
00:06:35,352 --> 00:06:37,062
The whole Ethiopian
adoption process?
158
00:06:37,354 --> 00:06:39,523
How they lost money
from a bogus orphanage?
159
00:06:39,815 --> 00:06:41,400
What did you guys talk about
while you watched the game?
160
00:06:42,443 --> 00:06:45,195
Mmm, these nachos
have beans in them.
161
00:06:45,487 --> 00:06:47,114
Mmm. I love beans.
162
00:06:47,406 --> 00:06:49,450
Okay, these are going to be
163
00:06:49,742 --> 00:06:51,327
our new good couple friends.
Okay.
164
00:06:51,619 --> 00:06:53,412
So you need to just open up
to Carl
165
00:06:53,704 --> 00:06:54,788
and let him open up to you.
166
00:06:55,080 --> 00:06:56,749
Right, open up.
Yeah.
167
00:06:57,041 --> 00:06:58,584
Emotionally, right?
168
00:06:58,876 --> 00:07:01,253
Okay, clean it up.
I was just checking.
169
00:07:01,545 --> 00:07:03,672
Hey! What up, Brad?
170
00:07:03,964 --> 00:07:05,007
Hands are kind of full, bro.
171
00:07:05,299 --> 00:07:06,717
Oh, yeah, they are.
172
00:07:09,178 --> 00:07:11,055
Hey, uh, Carl, um,
173
00:07:11,347 --> 00:07:13,891
Jane told me about you and
Dianne and the adoption thing.
174
00:07:14,183 --> 00:07:16,936
Oh, yeah.
If you need to talk about it,
175
00:07:17,227 --> 00:07:22,274
I could make me be that person
who you do that, forthwith.
176
00:07:22,566 --> 00:07:23,901
I really appreciate it.
177
00:07:24,193 --> 00:07:25,778
Oh, no problem, bro.
178
00:07:27,821 --> 00:07:29,698
And Dianne told me
about the huge problems
179
00:07:29,990 --> 00:07:31,742
you're having with Jane
180
00:07:32,034 --> 00:07:33,577
and you had to go
to couple's therapy
181
00:07:33,869 --> 00:07:35,955
so if you wanna talk,
I'm listening.
182
00:07:36,246 --> 00:07:37,748
Yeah, man, sounds great, man.
183
00:07:38,040 --> 00:07:39,375
Wait, who went where, now?
184
00:07:39,667 --> 00:07:40,751
Dude, I'm here for you.
185
00:07:42,336 --> 00:07:43,921
Oh.
186
00:07:44,213 --> 00:07:46,256
I guess that's worse
than the high-five, huh?
187
00:07:48,467 --> 00:07:51,220
All right, let's be Rambos
out there, right?
188
00:07:51,512 --> 00:07:52,888
Yeah, man.
189
00:07:53,180 --> 00:07:55,724
You're First Blood,
I'm second blood.
190
00:07:56,016 --> 00:07:57,476
Oh, man.
191
00:08:04,233 --> 00:08:05,192
Aha. Got you, Dave,
192
00:08:05,484 --> 00:08:06,777
you falafel-stealing bastard.
193
00:08:10,114 --> 00:08:12,574
I said I was sorry
about the double-date thing.
194
00:08:12,866 --> 00:08:15,327
It's time for some tough love.
Dave's been dating a lot.
195
00:08:15,619 --> 00:08:17,413
Like "a lot" a lot?
196
00:08:17,705 --> 00:08:20,958
Like, DiCaprio a lot?
Seriously. I don't care.
197
00:08:21,250 --> 00:08:23,002
He even slept
with Tracy Labarski.
198
00:08:23,293 --> 00:08:24,712
From high school? That slut.
199
00:08:25,004 --> 00:08:26,547
Kind of harsh.
I meant Dave.
200
00:08:26,839 --> 00:08:28,424
Where's Dave?
He park his truck here?
201
00:08:28,716 --> 00:08:30,050
He took it to Wrigley, why?
202
00:08:30,342 --> 00:08:32,636
I have proof that he's been
stealing the food,
203
00:08:32,928 --> 00:08:34,346
which makes it okay
for a grown man
204
00:08:34,638 --> 00:08:36,682
to carry a teddy bear
in public, if anyone asks.
205
00:08:36,974 --> 00:08:39,393
Max, has Dave been dating a lot?
206
00:08:39,685 --> 00:08:41,603
Tough love.
Yeah.
207
00:08:41,895 --> 00:08:43,480
He's on fire.
Like John Mayer on fire.
208
00:08:43,772 --> 00:08:45,232
Is that more or less
than DiCaprio?
209
00:08:45,524 --> 00:08:46,525
More.
Wow!
210
00:08:46,817 --> 00:08:48,110
Yeah.
I didn't realize.
211
00:08:48,402 --> 00:08:49,862
I know.
Okay.
212
00:08:50,154 --> 00:08:51,822
You know what, guys?
I think I'm ready.
213
00:08:52,114 --> 00:08:53,824
I am ready
to start dating again.
214
00:08:54,116 --> 00:08:56,702
Great. There's a single booze
cruise on Lake Mich.
215
00:08:56,994 --> 00:08:58,537
We play our cards right,
we are drunk
216
00:08:58,829 --> 00:09:00,122
off Skinnygirl Margaritas by 7,
217
00:09:00,414 --> 00:09:02,374
we are knee-deep
in investment bankers by 9.
218
00:09:02,666 --> 00:09:04,752
I'm in.
219
00:09:05,044 --> 00:09:08,255
Oh, was I not invited?
220
00:09:08,547 --> 00:09:10,674
Did you tell Dianne
we went to couple's therapy?
221
00:09:10,966 --> 00:09:12,801
What are you talking about,
Biscuit?
222
00:09:13,093 --> 00:09:14,928
No, no, no.
No Biscuit, no Boo,
223
00:09:15,220 --> 00:09:16,847
no sweetie, no black Han Solo.
224
00:09:17,139 --> 00:09:18,682
None of these'll
get you out of this.
225
00:09:18,974 --> 00:09:20,893
Now, did you tell her that?
226
00:09:21,185 --> 00:09:23,312
Okay, I did, but only because
she shared so much.
227
00:09:23,604 --> 00:09:24,605
I had to say something.
228
00:09:24,897 --> 00:09:26,523
Yeah, but couple's therapy?
229
00:09:26,815 --> 00:09:29,401
I don't know, couple's therapy.
230
00:09:29,693 --> 00:09:30,986
Right? Us?
231
00:09:31,278 --> 00:09:34,198
Couple's therapy? That's crazy.
232
00:09:36,658 --> 00:09:38,619
Woman, what did you do?
233
00:09:38,911 --> 00:09:43,123
Technically, we did not go, but
after Alex and Dave split up,
234
00:09:43,415 --> 00:09:46,001
I was so freaked out I went
to see a couple's therapist
235
00:09:46,293 --> 00:09:48,587
to make sure we were okay,
so I thought I'd meet a few.
236
00:09:48,879 --> 00:09:49,838
You know, see who fit.
237
00:09:50,130 --> 00:09:52,549
You auditioned therapists?
How many?
238
00:09:52,841 --> 00:09:54,134
Five.
Five?
239
00:09:54,426 --> 00:09:56,762
See, I thought maybe
we had trouble communicating,
240
00:09:57,054 --> 00:09:59,515
but the first doctor said
we just had different styles.
241
00:09:59,807 --> 00:10:02,559
Then I needed to bring up issues
sooner, and he had bad breath.
242
00:10:02,851 --> 00:10:04,978
The third one looked like
a female Scott Bakula,
243
00:10:05,270 --> 00:10:06,730
which just stressed me out,
244
00:10:07,022 --> 00:10:09,149
because I am way behind
on my Men of a Certain Age,
245
00:10:09,441 --> 00:10:11,110
and you know how Mama likes
a clean DVR.
246
00:10:11,401 --> 00:10:13,862
The fourth one asked me why
I went to so many therapists.
247
00:10:14,154 --> 00:10:15,697
Did not like him at all.
248
00:10:15,989 --> 00:10:18,659
The fifth one made me realize
that I have an amazing husband
249
00:10:18,951 --> 00:10:23,789
and a great marriage, so all
is good in the neighborhood.
250
00:10:24,081 --> 00:10:26,792
Good. Great.
Okay, you're mad,
251
00:10:27,084 --> 00:10:28,544
but I wouldn't have had
gone to them
252
00:10:28,836 --> 00:10:30,170
if I thought you'd be open
to it.
253
00:10:30,462 --> 00:10:32,172
Oh, so now it's on me.
254
00:10:32,464 --> 00:10:34,675
Okay. All right, fine.
255
00:10:34,967 --> 00:10:36,510
Whoa, where are you going?
To work,
256
00:10:36,802 --> 00:10:39,263
because my wife's insane.
I am not insane, okay?
257
00:10:39,555 --> 00:10:42,349
Doctors one, three and five
confirmed that.
258
00:10:42,641 --> 00:10:44,434
Why are you
carrying a teddy bear?
259
00:10:44,726 --> 00:10:46,311
Don't worry about him,
he's with me.
260
00:10:46,603 --> 00:10:48,313
Alex told me
about your sleepwalking,
261
00:10:48,605 --> 00:10:50,440
and I bet this
proves you stole the food.
262
00:10:50,732 --> 00:10:52,067
She told you?
Oh, yeah.
263
00:10:52,359 --> 00:10:54,736
I do not sleepwalk!
I don't know why every... Aah!
264
00:10:55,028 --> 00:10:56,613
I sleepwalk.
265
00:10:56,905 --> 00:10:58,031
Boom! Gotcha.
266
00:10:58,323 --> 00:11:00,033
You're gonna go to the fridge.
267
00:11:00,325 --> 00:11:02,911
Soon you're gonna... You're
walking away from the fridge.
268
00:11:03,203 --> 00:11:04,913
Well, who stole the food, then?
269
00:11:05,205 --> 00:11:07,166
And why was I bowing?
270
00:11:07,457 --> 00:11:08,959
Wait, stop, did you see that?
Huh?
271
00:11:09,251 --> 00:11:12,504
Go back. Go back.
I am. I am going back.
272
00:11:14,047 --> 00:11:16,925
Okay.
273
00:11:17,217 --> 00:11:19,428
Dude, is there a guy
living in our ceiling?
274
00:11:19,720 --> 00:11:23,015
Yes, dude, there's a guy living
in our ceiling.
275
00:11:23,307 --> 00:11:25,309
Why are we getting paint
from Max's?
276
00:11:25,601 --> 00:11:26,727
He said he had a guy.
277
00:11:27,019 --> 00:11:28,979
Max's bank account
is like a garbage bag,
278
00:11:29,271 --> 00:11:32,274
but he's got a paint guy?
Makes total sense.
279
00:11:32,566 --> 00:11:33,817
Oh. Hey.
280
00:11:34,109 --> 00:11:36,069
Hi, I'm Malcolm.
281
00:11:36,361 --> 00:11:39,072
I'm, uh, Dave and Max's
new upstairs neighbor.
282
00:11:39,364 --> 00:11:40,741
They, uh...
I don't have a fridge,
283
00:11:41,033 --> 00:11:42,868
so they said I could come in
and use theirs.
284
00:11:43,160 --> 00:11:45,495
I'm Alex and this is Penny.
285
00:11:45,787 --> 00:11:48,332
We came to pick up some paint,
which is clearly not here.
286
00:11:48,624 --> 00:11:49,750
That's funny, I'm a painter.
287
00:11:50,042 --> 00:11:51,585
Like Raphael or Michelangelo?
288
00:11:51,877 --> 00:11:54,379
They were Renaissance guys. I'm
a conceptual artist.
289
00:11:54,671 --> 00:11:56,215
Like Donatello.
He was a sculptor.
290
00:11:56,506 --> 00:11:58,383
I only know three Ninja Turtles,
so I'm out.
291
00:11:58,675 --> 00:11:59,635
Who was your favorite?
292
00:11:59,927 --> 00:12:01,470
Um, for art, Donatello,
293
00:12:01,762 --> 00:12:03,972
and for Ninja Turtling,
Raphael all the way.
294
00:12:04,264 --> 00:12:05,390
Totally.
295
00:12:05,682 --> 00:12:07,976
Al? Can I talk to you?
Mm-hm.
296
00:12:08,268 --> 00:12:10,229
See what happens when you're
dating again?
297
00:12:10,520 --> 00:12:12,147
Look what comes along.
Him? Really?
298
00:12:12,439 --> 00:12:14,233
He is cute in a
Skeet Ulrich kind of way.
299
00:12:14,524 --> 00:12:16,235
He's smart, he's artistic,
ask him out.
300
00:12:16,526 --> 00:12:18,612
He is Skeet cute, but...
Tracy Labarski.
301
00:12:18,904 --> 00:12:21,531
So I don't know, would you like
to get a drink tonight?
302
00:12:21,823 --> 00:12:24,910
We can dive into the whole
Ninja Turtling debate?
303
00:12:25,202 --> 00:12:26,620
I can't.
Oh.
304
00:12:26,912 --> 00:12:29,456
Got this gallery opening tonight
I'm supposed to be at.
305
00:12:29,748 --> 00:12:33,126
Uh, would you, I don't know,
like to come with me?
306
00:12:34,878 --> 00:12:37,339
Uh, yeah,
I love gallery openings.
307
00:12:37,631 --> 00:12:38,590
Have you been to many?
308
00:12:38,882 --> 00:12:41,969
Uh, like, five, 6000.
309
00:12:42,261 --> 00:12:43,512
Where should she meet you?
310
00:12:43,804 --> 00:12:46,515
Um, say 7:30 at the gallery
on West Superior.
311
00:12:46,807 --> 00:12:48,809
That sounds super-erior.
You're done.
312
00:12:49,101 --> 00:12:50,686
What was that?
Bye.
313
00:12:50,978 --> 00:12:51,770
Sorry.
314
00:12:52,813 --> 00:12:54,648
I'm doing it.
I'm so proud of you.
315
00:12:54,940 --> 00:12:56,275
He seems so great.
316
00:12:56,566 --> 00:12:59,528
Ugh, what I wouldn't give
to find a nice, normal guy.
317
00:13:06,118 --> 00:13:08,120
You get down here right now,
you food thief!
318
00:13:08,412 --> 00:13:10,622
The Russian guy told me
there was a crawlspace,
319
00:13:10,914 --> 00:13:13,500
but I never bothered to look.
You're afraid of spiders.
320
00:13:13,792 --> 00:13:15,502
My third phobia
behind public speaking
321
00:13:15,794 --> 00:13:18,213
and drag queens with no makeup.
Let's go up there.
322
00:13:18,505 --> 00:13:19,631
It's pretty high.
323
00:13:19,923 --> 00:13:22,217
Come on, let's be men
and get up there.
324
00:13:22,509 --> 00:13:25,262
It's really easy.
It's really...
325
00:13:25,554 --> 00:13:28,849
Oh, God. Okay, it's hard,
it's hard, it's hard.
326
00:13:29,141 --> 00:13:30,100
I got it, I got it.
327
00:13:30,392 --> 00:13:31,935
Don't worry, man.
Come on, come on.
328
00:13:43,071 --> 00:13:45,282
Dude.
I found another entrance.
329
00:13:45,574 --> 00:13:47,284
It had stairs. Way easier.
330
00:13:47,576 --> 00:13:50,370
This place is not as creepy
as I thought it was gonna be.
331
00:13:50,662 --> 00:13:52,622
I thought it was gonna be
putting the lotion,
332
00:13:52,914 --> 00:13:55,917
but this guy's got pretty
good taste in shirts.
333
00:13:57,669 --> 00:13:59,504
He's actually
a pretty good artist.
334
00:13:59,796 --> 00:14:02,257
You could totally see
the pain on this guy's face.
335
00:14:02,549 --> 00:14:05,302
Oh, my God.
He took our Apple Smacks.
336
00:14:05,594 --> 00:14:06,970
This has gotta stop.
337
00:14:07,262 --> 00:14:09,598
We are staying here until
this bastard... Oh, my God,
338
00:14:09,890 --> 00:14:11,683
It's the biggest spider
I've ever seen!
339
00:14:13,602 --> 00:14:16,021
No, my bad.
340
00:14:16,313 --> 00:14:18,899
It's just a ball of wire.
341
00:14:19,191 --> 00:14:20,942
Dave?
342
00:14:21,234 --> 00:14:23,445
Dave?
343
00:14:23,737 --> 00:14:26,365
Hey, B-Rad.
What's wrong, man?
344
00:14:26,656 --> 00:14:28,075
You were so quiet
in that meeting.
345
00:14:28,367 --> 00:14:30,494
You didn't even laugh
when Peterson whipped out
346
00:14:30,786 --> 00:14:31,953
his classic O.J. impression.
347
00:14:32,245 --> 00:14:33,914
Classic Peterson.
348
00:14:34,206 --> 00:14:36,083
Right?
349
00:14:36,375 --> 00:14:38,043
Oh, man, I love that impression.
350
00:14:38,335 --> 00:14:40,253
Yeah. Can I bounce
something off you?
351
00:14:40,545 --> 00:14:41,880
I'm a trampoline, bro.
352
00:14:42,172 --> 00:14:43,715
Bounce whatever you want.
353
00:14:44,007 --> 00:14:46,051
Uh, Jane went to
couple's therapy without me.
354
00:14:46,343 --> 00:14:49,471
She didn't think I'd be open
to it, but that's not the point.
355
00:14:49,763 --> 00:14:51,932
I just don't think
we have real problems.
356
00:14:52,224 --> 00:14:53,642
You probably don't.
Women,
357
00:14:53,934 --> 00:14:55,852
they got a problem factory
up here,
358
00:14:56,144 --> 00:14:56,895
but, uh, that being said,
359
00:14:57,938 --> 00:15:01,400
you've got to let her know
that she can talk to you
360
00:15:01,691 --> 00:15:02,734
if she has concerns.
361
00:15:03,026 --> 00:15:04,611
I mean, marriage
is a two-way street.
362
00:15:04,903 --> 00:15:07,572
You're right. Thanks, man.
363
00:15:07,864 --> 00:15:10,784
No problemo, senor.
364
00:15:11,076 --> 00:15:13,161
Gracias.
365
00:15:13,453 --> 00:15:15,414
You know what, man?
366
00:15:15,705 --> 00:15:17,582
This right here?
This is nice.
367
00:15:17,874 --> 00:15:19,584
Look, uh, now that
I've got your ear,
368
00:15:19,876 --> 00:15:22,754
um, I've been meaning to
share something with you.
369
00:15:23,046 --> 00:15:26,967
Oh, man, share it up, dude.
I am the share-man of the board.
370
00:15:27,259 --> 00:15:32,722
Uh, Dianne and I, we've been
having some problems...
371
00:15:33,014 --> 00:15:34,433
I'm sorry about that, man.
372
00:15:34,724 --> 00:15:37,269
...finding someone
to share our bed with us.
373
00:15:37,561 --> 00:15:40,188
Uh, like...
374
00:15:40,480 --> 00:15:41,731
Like a... Like a dog?
375
00:15:42,023 --> 00:15:43,733
There'll probably
be a leash involved.
376
00:15:46,486 --> 00:15:47,446
Right?
377
00:15:47,737 --> 00:15:49,197
That got weird.
378
00:15:49,489 --> 00:15:49,948
That got so weird.
I know.
379
00:15:50,991 --> 00:15:53,368
This whole thing's weird.
You're great. Yeah.
380
00:15:58,623 --> 00:16:00,459
Hey, nerds, I got huge news.
381
00:16:00,750 --> 00:16:03,170
Okay, Dave, I really hope
you can be mature about this.
382
00:16:03,462 --> 00:16:06,006
I may have pushed Alex
to go on her first date,
383
00:16:06,298 --> 00:16:08,675
post the whole non-wedding
thing. You cool with that?
384
00:16:08,967 --> 00:16:11,720
I'm totally cool with that.
You sure? It's gotta be tough.
385
00:16:12,012 --> 00:16:14,598
No, it's totally easy for me.
Is he handsome, successful?
386
00:16:14,890 --> 00:16:16,349
Ah, it doesn't matter.
Is he tall?
387
00:16:16,641 --> 00:16:20,187
He's actually your neighbor.
A cute guy who lived upstairs.
388
00:16:20,479 --> 00:16:21,938
Where have you been hiding him?
389
00:16:22,230 --> 00:16:23,315
Oh, my God, what have I done?
390
00:16:23,607 --> 00:16:25,192
Set up Alex
with a homeless squatter.
391
00:16:25,484 --> 00:16:27,903
A homeless vigilante squatter.
We have to stop this.
392
00:16:35,827 --> 00:16:37,454
Hi.
Hi.
393
00:16:37,746 --> 00:16:39,289
I'm sorry.
I shouldn't accuse you
394
00:16:39,581 --> 00:16:42,000
of not communicating when
I don't give you a chance to.
395
00:16:42,292 --> 00:16:44,252
It's okay, babe, I'm sorry too.
396
00:16:44,544 --> 00:16:47,005
I need to be better at letting
you know you can talk to me.
397
00:16:47,297 --> 00:16:50,091
Aw, I love my black Han Solo.
398
00:16:50,383 --> 00:16:52,219
Mmm. Oh, and thank you
399
00:16:52,511 --> 00:16:54,012
for pushing me
to open up to Carl.
400
00:16:54,304 --> 00:16:56,806
He opened up to me and we got
to a really great place.
401
00:16:57,098 --> 00:16:59,184
See? I knew we could learn
a lot from them.
402
00:16:59,476 --> 00:17:01,061
Yeah. Oh, yeah,
we learned a lot,
403
00:17:01,353 --> 00:17:03,855
and they have so much more
to teach us, like...
404
00:17:04,147 --> 00:17:06,149
Oh, speaking of which...
Hi.
405
00:17:06,441 --> 00:17:08,026
Hi.
Hey.
406
00:17:08,318 --> 00:17:10,487
I am so glad that you
and Brad are clicking,
407
00:17:10,779 --> 00:17:12,322
because I really like you guys.
408
00:17:12,614 --> 00:17:15,283
Oh, we like you too, Jane.
A lot.
409
00:17:16,576 --> 00:17:19,246
I like you even more.
410
00:17:19,538 --> 00:17:22,541
Well, that's great.
What do you say the three of us
411
00:17:22,832 --> 00:17:25,502
go across the street,
check in a hotel, shave down,
412
00:17:25,794 --> 00:17:27,462
and let our bodies
do the talking, huh?
413
00:17:27,754 --> 00:17:28,797
Wouldn't that be so fun?
414
00:17:31,550 --> 00:17:34,302
No, seriously,
we wanna have sex with you.
415
00:17:36,179 --> 00:17:39,516
That was insane. They wanted
to get down with my vagina.
416
00:17:39,808 --> 00:17:42,686
What are you complaining about?
I didn't even get invited.
417
00:17:42,978 --> 00:17:46,022
But you gotta admit,
they are a very open couple.
418
00:17:46,314 --> 00:17:47,315
Okay, I deserve that.
419
00:17:47,607 --> 00:17:49,150
I'm happy you got me to open up.
420
00:17:49,442 --> 00:17:51,444
Instead of doing it
with creepy guys at work
421
00:17:51,736 --> 00:17:54,197
or therapists
that look like Scott Bakula,
422
00:17:54,489 --> 00:17:57,534
let's just do it together.
Yes.
423
00:17:57,826 --> 00:17:59,703
And go back
to our normal friends.
424
00:17:59,995 --> 00:18:01,037
Thank goodness.
425
00:18:01,329 --> 00:18:02,914
Who are on their way
to stop Alex
426
00:18:03,206 --> 00:18:05,875
from dating some guy who lives
in Max and Dave's ceiling.
427
00:18:06,167 --> 00:18:08,420
I love those crazy kids.
428
00:18:08,712 --> 00:18:10,213
Alex, wait.
429
00:18:10,505 --> 00:18:12,465
You can't date this guy.
What are you doing?
430
00:18:12,757 --> 00:18:14,301
Stopping you from making
a mistake.
431
00:18:14,593 --> 00:18:16,469
What? You get to date
half of Chicago.
432
00:18:16,761 --> 00:18:19,264
Tracy Labarski, by the way. Ew.
433
00:18:19,556 --> 00:18:21,933
And I finally go on one date
and you show up and ruin it?
434
00:18:22,225 --> 00:18:24,561
Al, Skeet Ulrich lives
in Max and Dave's ceiling.
435
00:18:24,853 --> 00:18:27,314
Wait. You're Max and Dave.
436
00:18:27,606 --> 00:18:28,815
Yeah.
That's right.
437
00:18:29,107 --> 00:18:30,775
You do not
take someone's Apple Smacks
438
00:18:31,067 --> 00:18:32,736
without getting a serious
beat-down.
439
00:18:33,028 --> 00:18:35,405
You can't act hard when you're
talking about cereal.
440
00:18:35,697 --> 00:18:38,158
Yeah? if I do a couple
of warning lunges at him, huh?
441
00:18:38,450 --> 00:18:40,660
Some maniac blinks, huh?
I am so lost.
442
00:18:40,952 --> 00:18:43,371
A friend told me about this.
443
00:18:43,663 --> 00:18:45,373
I was only there
until I sold a painting.
444
00:18:45,665 --> 00:18:49,878
But I've never actually seen
Dave and Max, just heard them.
445
00:18:50,170 --> 00:18:51,630
Wait, you're Alice.
Who's Alice?
446
00:18:51,921 --> 00:18:55,759
Oh, Dave mourned the end
of the relationship for days.
447
00:18:56,051 --> 00:18:58,803
Uh, I thought he was saying
Alice, but it was hard to hear
448
00:18:59,095 --> 00:19:00,513
through the sobbing.
Sobbing?
449
00:19:00,805 --> 00:19:02,349
You didn't.
You heard me not sobbing
450
00:19:02,641 --> 00:19:04,643
and being over it.
What does that sound like?
451
00:19:04,934 --> 00:19:06,061
I'll tell you later.
452
00:19:06,353 --> 00:19:07,896
I called the series
Dave's Despair.
453
00:19:08,188 --> 00:19:09,314
I thought the emotional pain
454
00:19:09,606 --> 00:19:11,191
in those paintings
looked familiar.
455
00:19:11,483 --> 00:19:13,151
You're a super-talented artist.
456
00:19:13,443 --> 00:19:14,861
But you do not steal
from people.
457
00:19:15,153 --> 00:19:17,614
You're right, I'm sorry.
Is that my shirt?
458
00:19:17,906 --> 00:19:21,660
What? That is just... I'm gonna
exit through the gift shop.
459
00:19:21,951 --> 00:19:24,537
Wait, you squat
in their crawlspace?
460
00:19:24,829 --> 00:19:26,206
Yeah, I'm a rebel,
can you dig it?
461
00:19:26,498 --> 00:19:27,707
I know.
But, uh, I don't think
462
00:19:27,999 --> 00:19:29,751
we should see
each other anymore.
463
00:19:30,043 --> 00:19:33,797
There's a bro code
and I can't do that to him.
464
00:19:34,923 --> 00:19:36,966
Sorry, kid.
465
00:19:41,471 --> 00:19:43,348
What?
466
00:19:49,312 --> 00:19:51,564
So, clearly,
someone is trying to tell me
467
00:19:51,856 --> 00:19:53,274
that I am not ready to date yet.
468
00:19:53,566 --> 00:19:55,902
Oh, by the way, and I know
I don't have a say in it,
469
00:19:56,194 --> 00:19:58,822
but when you're ready,
I promise I'll be cool with it.
470
00:19:59,114 --> 00:20:00,490
Thank you.
471
00:20:00,782 --> 00:20:03,034
In fact, there's a guy
living under my steak truck.
472
00:20:03,326 --> 00:20:04,411
I could introduce you.
473
00:20:04,703 --> 00:20:06,454
He's got a nice, full beard.
Stop it.
474
00:20:06,746 --> 00:20:09,290
What is going on with you
and this diet peach iced tea?
475
00:20:09,582 --> 00:20:13,211
Oh, this isn't for us.
Malcolm, incoming.
476
00:20:13,503 --> 00:20:14,713
Hey, thanks, man.
477
00:20:15,004 --> 00:20:17,215
Enjoy the shirt!
478
00:20:17,507 --> 00:20:19,259
Cool. Oh, hey, do you
have a belt I could...
479
00:20:19,551 --> 00:20:21,678
A brown one would be...
Coming at you.
480
00:20:21,970 --> 00:20:23,054
This guy's awesome.
481
00:20:25,849 --> 00:20:27,976
Ladies, gentlemen, Alex,
482
00:20:28,268 --> 00:20:30,937
I like to call this
The Legend of Sleepy Dave.
483
00:20:31,229 --> 00:20:32,564
Enjoy.
484
00:20:32,856 --> 00:20:34,899
- Wow!
- Skill I didn't know I had.
485
00:20:35,191 --> 00:20:36,401
This is sad.
486
00:20:36,693 --> 00:20:38,153
Are you checking your pulse?
487
00:20:38,445 --> 00:20:40,155
You never jog in real life.
488
00:20:40,447 --> 00:20:42,907
- Oh, pretty good form.
- That's really good.
489
00:20:43,199 --> 00:20:45,368
Cookies with the push-up? Bold.
490
00:20:45,660 --> 00:20:47,036
- This is...
- A tour de force.
491
00:20:47,328 --> 00:20:49,622
Is it gonna get sexy?
Yeah, it gets sexy right here.
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