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CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY

TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP

ARE YOU ENGLISHMEN, OR ARE YOU A LOT OF FOREIGNERS?

ARE YOU FREE AND INDEPENDENT CITIZENS,

OR ARE YOU A FLOCK OF BLOOMING SHEEP?

DO YOU WANT ENGLAND TO BE RULED BY AN OUTSIDER?

NO. NO.

NO.

NO, YOU SAYS. THEN WHO IS THIS HERE DISRAELI

THAT HE SHOULD BE PRIME MINISTER OF ENGLAND?

A JEW WHOSE GRANDFATHER WAS AN ITALIAN,

A BLOOMING FOREIGNER.

HEAR, HEAR!

WHAT'S HE DONE FOR ENGLAND, I ASK?

WHAT'S HE DONE?

NOTHING!

OUR FRIEND HERE SAYS NOTHING.

HA! HE MUST BE BLIND, DEAF, AND DUMB

AS WELL AS INTOXICATED.

[LAUGHTER]

AND WHAT DOES HE SAY NOW, HUH?

HE SAYS RUSSIA IS LOOKING AT US WITH EYES OF YEARNING,

THAT THE CZAR HAS SET UP IN HIS HEART

TO RULE THE 7 SEAS.

BLOOMING ROT!

I SAYS DOWN WITH DISRAELI!

GLADSTONE IS THE MAN FOR US.

[APPLAUSE]

I CONSIDER IT AN AFFRONT TO EVERY ENGLISH GENTLEMAN

THAT THE DESTINIES OF OUR NATION SHOULD BE IN THE HANDS OF A PERSON LIKE DISRAELI,

A MAN WHO POSES AS A GREAT PATRIOT

BUT WHO IS IN REALITY AN UNPRINCIPLED POLITICIAN

SEEKING ONLY TO GRATIFY HIS MAD THIRST FOR POWER.

AHEM. AND NOW HE WANTS TO INVOLVE US IN SERIOUS INTERNATIONAL TROUBLE

WITH THIS INFERNAL NONSENSE ABOUT, UH,

RUSSIA TRYING TO UNDERMINE OUR POWER IN INDIA.

IF THE FELLOW KEEPS ON, HE'LL PUT ENGLAND ON THE ROCKS.

WHAT DOES THE GOVERNOR OF THE BANK OF ENGLAND SAY?

I SAY HE'S A DREAMER, A DANGEROUS VISIONARY

REACHING OUT FOR EMPIRE WITH GREEDY HANDS,

COMMITTING US TO A FOREIGN POLICY OF IMPERIALISM

THAT MAKES ME TREMBLE FOR ENGLAND'S SAFETY.

BUT THANK GOD FOR GLADSTONE.

HE'S MORE THAN A MATCH FOR DISRAELI.

A FOREIGN POLICY SUCH AS THE RIGHT HONORABLE GENTLEMAN PROPOSES

WOULD NOT ONLY GAIN US, AND DESERVEDLY,

THE ILL WILL OF OTHER NATIONS,

BUT WOULD ULTIMATELY INVOLVE US IN THAT DREAD CALAMITY, WAR!

I SAY THAT IN PROPOSING SUCH A POLICY,

THE RIGHT HONORABLE GENTLEMAN HAS BRANDED HIMSELF

AS UNWORTHY TO BE THE COUNSELOR OF ENGLAND'S SOVEREIGN,

UNWORTHY TO BE THE GUARDIAN OF ENGLAND'S WELFARE,

UNWORTHY TO HOLD THE HIGH OFFICE OF PRIME MINISTER!

AND NOW THAT MY HONORABLE FRIEND MR. GLADSTONE,

WITH HIS CUSTOMARY ELOQUENCE AND TACT,

HAS EXPRESSED HIS CUSTOMARY DISAPPROVAL...

[LAUGHTER]

THE ISSUE, GENTLEMEN, IS THIS--

WHETHER YOU ARE CONTENT TO BE A COMFORTABLE ENGLAND,

MEETING IN DUE COURSE WITH A SAD, INEVITABLE FATE,

OR WHETHER YOU WILL BE A GREAT COUNTRY, AN IMPERIAL COUNTRY,

A COUNTRY WHERE YOUR SONS, WHEN THEY RISE, WILL RISE TO PARAMOUNT POSITIONS

AND OBTAIN NOT MERELY THE ESTEEM OF THEIR OWN COUNTRYMEN

BUT THE ESTEEM OF THE WORLD.

HEAR, HEAR.

PERHAPS YOU THINK THAT BECAUSE NO WAR CLOUDS DARKEN THE PRESENT HORIZON

THAT THERE IS NO DANGER.

HAVE YOU EVER SEEN ONE OF THOSE MARINE LANDSCAPES ON THE COAST OF SOUTH AMERICA?

YOU BEHOLD A RANGE OF EXHAUSTED VOLCANOES.

NOT A FLAME FLICKERS ON A SINGLE PALLID PEAK.

BUT BENEATH, THERE IS A DORMANT DANGER

THAT WILL ONE DAY AWAKE!

DIZZY, YOU ARE WORRYING ABOUT SOMETHING.

NO, NO, MY DEAR.

I SOMETIMES THINK, BUT I NEVER WORRY.

WELL, I'LL NOT BOTHER YOU NOW ABOUT OUR GARDEN PARTY.

BUT I'M DYING TO BE BOTHERED. MAY I, MY DEAR?

YOUR MORNING TRIBUTE.

THANK YOU, DIZZY.

EVERY MORNING, WHEREVER WE ARE, YOU NEVER FORGET.

NONSENSE. YOU KNOW I MARRIED YOU FOR YOUR MONEY.

HA HA HA!

LET ME SEE YOUR LIST OF INVITATIONS.

LADY CLARISSA PEVENSEY.

OH, AND HER FATHER AND MOTHER, THE DUKE AND DUCHESS OF GLASTONBURY.

I'M AFRAID THE DUKE AND DUCHESS SHIVER WITH CONTEMPT

AT THE VERY NAME OF DISRAELI.

BUT CLARISSA WILL SEE THAT THEY COME WHETHER THEY WANT TO OR NOT.

DEAR CLARISSA.

SHE THINKS YOU ARE THE GREATEST MAN IN THE WORLD.

AND SHE'S RIGHT.

SHE'S QUITE RIGHT, MY DEAR.

OH, YOUNG DEEFORD WILL CONDESCEND TO COME

IN ORDER TO PROTECT CLARISSA AGAINST MY DIABOLICAL INFLUENCE.

I'M QUITE SURE YOUR PARTY WILL BE A GREAT SUCCESS.

MARY, I WANT YOU TO INVITE BORSINOV.

YES, DEAR.

THE RUSSIAN AMBASSADOR.

MOST AGREEABLE GENTLEMAN.

AND, UH...

I ALSO WANT YOU TO INVITE MRS. TRAVERS.

MRS. TRAVERS?

WHY, WE SCARCELY KNOW HER.

THAT'S WHY I WANT YOU TO INVITE HER.

I'M ANXIOUS TO CULTIVATE HER ACQUAINTANCE.

MARY...

YES, DEAR?

WHERE HAVE I MET HER BEFORE?

OH, WE'VE MET HER AT DINNER.

NO, NO. I MEAN LONG AGO.

I CONNECT HER WITH SOMETHING... BLUE AND WHITE.

HA HA HA!

NOW, DIZZY, YOU'RE OFF ON ONE OF YOUR

WILD-GOOSE CHASES AGAIN. HA HA HA!

BLUE AND WHITE.

[WHISTLING]

MRS. TRAVERS.

OH, MY DEAR MRS. TRAVERS.

YOU'RE LOOKING MORE CHARMING THAN USUAL.

PLEASE, SIT DOWN.

UM, DID YOU LEARN ANYTHING?

WE'VE NOTHING IMMEDIATE TO FEAR FROM DISRAELI.

HE CAN'T ACT WITHOUT PARLIAMENT,

AND PARLIAMENT HAS ADJOURNED, THANK THE LORD.

CHEERS. ENGLAND HAS OBLIGINGLY TIED THEIR HANDS.

ONLY ONE MAN WHO MIGHT HAVE BLOCKED RUSSIA'S PLANS,

AND LONG BEFORE HIS HANDS ARE FREE,

WE SHALL HAVE COME TO TERMS WITH EGYPT.

RUSSIA WILL CONTROL THE SUEZ CANAL,

AND DISRAELI'S DREAM OF BRITISH SUPREMACY IN ASIA

WILL STILL BE ONLY A DREAM.

BUT DON'T FORGET--

EVEN WITH HIS HANDS TIED,

DISRAELI CAN STILL GET THINGS FROM UP HIS SLEEVE.

HE MUST BE WATCHED AS CLOSELY AS EVER.

HA HA HA!

MR. FOLJAMBE IS OUTSIDE.

OH. SHOW HIM IN.

HUSBANDS ALWAYS ARRIVE AT THE WRONG MOMENT.

HELLO, FOLJAMBE.

HELLO.

HELLO, DEAR.

CIGARETTES?

NO, THANKS.

ANYTHING NEW?

THINGS WILL BE AT A STANDSTILL AT DISRAELI'S OFFICE

UNTIL HE COMES BACK FROM HUGHENDON.

I GOT A NOTE FROM HIM THIS MORNING

TELLING ME I MIGHT HAVE THE REST OF THE WEEK OFF

AND THANKING ME FOR MY--HA!--

MY FAITHFUL ATTENTION TO HIS INTERESTS.

[LAUGHTER]

I'M AFRAID THE GREAT DISRAELI IS GETTING OLD.

DEAR CLARISSA.

DEAR LADY BEACONSFIELD.

Man: VISCOUNT DEEFORD.

MY DEAR, YOU LOOK CHARMING.

HOW DO YOU DO?

THE VERY SPIRIT OF YOUTH AND BEAUTY.

DEEFORD, BEHOLD.

WINTER HAND IN HAND WITH SPRING.

INNOCENCE WITH--

GUILE.

EXPERIENCE. SAME THING.

MAY I BE PERMITTED?

IF SOMETHING WOULD ONLY HAPPEN TO CHARLES TO MAKE HIM HUMAN.

PERHAPS SOMETHING MAY HAPPEN TO HIM, MY DEAR,

WITH THE HELP OF CLARISSA.

OHH. HA HA HA!

BUT TO A MAN OF YOUR SOUND JUDGMENT,

MR. DISRAELI'S IDEAS MUST SOMETIMES APPEAR...

UTTERLY IMPRACTICAL. WILDLY FANTASTIC.

THE BANK OF ENGLAND'S MONEY WILL NEVER BACK ANY OF HIS CRAZY ENTERPRISES

AS LONG AS I CAN PREVENT IT.

HOW FORTUNATE ENGLAND HAS MEN LIKE YOU.

WHY, MRS. TRAVERS.

MAY I BE ALLOWED TO JOIN YOU?

OH, YES. CERTAINLY. SIT DOWN, DUKE.

THANK YOU.

WHAT A HEAVENLY SPOT THIS IS.

THE PRIME MINISTER'S GARDEN.

[SIGHS]

WHY DO YOU DISLIKE MR. DISRAELI SO MUCH?

I NEITHER LIKE HIM NOR DISLIKE HIM.

HE'S NOTHING TO ME.

OH. DON'T YOU FEEL LONELY?

LONELY?

YOU'RE THE ONLY MAN IN ALL THE WORLD

WHO NEITHER LIKES NOR DISLIKES MR. DISRAELI.

YES, YES. I KNOW HOW MUCH YOU ADMIRE HIM, BUT WE WON'T ARGUE ABOUT THAT NOW.

I HAVE SPOKEN TO YOUR MOTHER,

AND SHE HAS GIVEN ME HER GRACIOUS PERMISSION TO ADDRESS YOU.

WAS HER PERMISSION NEEDED?

WELL, I'M RATHER A STICKLER FOR FORM, YOU KNOW.

I KNOW.

I CONSIDER IT MY DUTY TO MARRY.

YES?

I AM MUCH INTERESTED IN THE WORKING MAN.

I HAVE PLANS FOR BUILDING MODEL COTTAGES

WITH IMPROVED SANITARY APPLIANCES.

I TRUST MY WIFE AND I WILL SHOW OUR HUMBLE FRIENDS A MODEL ENGLISH HOUSEHOLD,

MODEL CHILDREN; IN SHORT, A MODEL--

ONE MOMENT.

WHAT HAVE ALL THESE MODELS TO DO WITH ME?

HAVE I NOT MADE MYSELF CLEAR?

SINCE FIRST I HAD THE PRIVILEGE OF MEETING YOU,

I HAVE WATCHED YOU CLOSELY, AND, CLARISSA...

MAY I CALL YOU CLARISSA?

I HAVE DECIDED THAT IN TIME, YOU WILL BECOME ADMIRABLY SUITED

TO OCCUPY THE POSITION I HAVE ADUMBRATED.

I BEG YOUR PARDON?

ADUMBRATED. OUTLINED.

OH, THANK YOU. YOU WILL THINK ME VERY SILLY, CHARLES.

MAY I CALL YOU CHARLES?

THANK YOU.

BUT IS THIS... IS THIS REALLY AN OFFER OF MARRIAGE?

I HOPED I HAD MADE THAT CLEAR WITHOUT OFFENSIVE PLAINNESS OF SPEECH.

HOW WONDERFUL.

OH, BUT YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO EXPECT A HIGH MATRIMONIAL ALLIANCE.

I MEAN THE MANNER OF YOUR PROPOSAL.

OH, SURELY--

YOU ARE A YOUNG MAN OF 25.

I AM A GIRL OF 19,

AND YOU COME TO ME WITH AN ESSAY ON POLITICAL ECONOMY.

I AM A MAN OF HEAVY RESPONSIBILITIES, NOT A HERO OF ROMANCE.

YOU WILL ENTER A FAMILY

OF WHICH THE MEN HAVE NEVER DONE ANYTHING TO BE ASHAMED OF.

HAVE THEY EVER DONE ANYTHING?

NOTHING, THANK GOD, TO ATTRACT ATTENTION.

WELL...

I THINK THE NEXT THING WILL BE TO ANNOUNCE OUR BETROTHAL.

NOT QUITE.

I AM VERY MUCH HONORED, LORD DEEFORD,

BUT I MUST DECLINE THE RESPONSIBILITIES AND THE PRIVILEGES.

I BEG YOUR PARDON?

OH, CHARLES, YOU'VE MADE A HORRIBLE HASH OF THE WHOLE THING!

HASH?

YES. FOR PITY'S SAKE, LET ME TALK PLAIN OR I SHALL HAVE HYSTERICS.

I DID LIKE YOU. I LIKED YOU VERY MUCH.

BUT YOUR MODEL COTTAGES LEAVE ME COLD

BECAUSE I KNOW THE LABORER WANTS BREAD, NOT BRICKS.

AND, OH, THOSE MODEL CHILDREN.

I WANT FLESH-AND-BLOOD CHILDREN

WHO TEAR THEIR PINAFORES AND SMEAR THEIR FACES WITH JAM.

BUT, LADY CLARISSA!

IF EVER I MARRY-- AND I HOPE I SHALL--

I WANT A HUSBAND WHO IS AT THE BOTTOM AND IS CLIMBING,

CLIMBING ON HANDS AND KNEES,

BLEEDING HANDS AND BLEEDING KNEES,

WITH HIS EYES FIXED ON THE SUMMIT.

NEVER MIND IF HE NEVER GETS THERE.

I CAN HELP HIM TO CLIMB,

AND IF HE FALLS, I CAN FALL WITH HIM.

BUT--

NO. YOU WERE BORN AT THE TOP.

YOU SIT IN A RAREFIED ATMOSPHERE LIKE THE GODS ON OLYMPUS.

OH!

I SEE I HAVE MADE A MISTAKE.

WELL, YOU REFUSED HIM, EH?

OH. HOW DID YOU KNOW?

THAT BACK WAS ELOQUENT OF REFUSAL.

YOU HAVE NO SYMPATHY WITH READY-MADE GREATNESS.

YOU REFUSE DEEFORD BECAUSE HE'S A MERE DESCENDANT AND NOT AN ANCESTOR.

WELL, AM I NOT RIGHT?

WELL...

HE MAY BECOME AN ANCESTOR, YOU KNOW.

TELL ME...

ARE YOU FOND OF HIM?

I LIKE HIM VERY MUCH.

IF HE HAD SIMPLY SAID, "CLARISSA, WILL YOU MARRY ME?"

I MIGHT HAVE ANSWERED JUST AS SIMPLY, "YES."

BUT HE LECTURED ME ON MODEL COTTAGES AND A MODEL FAMILY.

YOU KNOW, I HAVE A VERY HIGH OPINION OF HIM.

YOU? BUT HE HAS NO INITIATIVE.

WHO KNOWS? IF THE OPPORTUNITY OCCURRED,

HE MIGHT RISE TO IT.

A MAN SHOULD MAKE HIS OWN OPPORTUNITIES.

AND IT'S NO USE TALKING. I REFUSED HIM, AND I TOLD HIM WHY.

DID YOU?

QUITE FRANKLY. DID YOU?

I TOLD HIM I MUST HAVE A MAN WHO TRIED.

AS HE IS NOW, I WOULD SOONER MARRY A BRICKLAYER.

HE DOES LAY BRICKS, AND HE MAY BUILD A CATHEDRAL.

DON'T BE HARD ON DEEFORD. GO ALONG AND TELL HIM YOU'RE SORRY.

VERY GOOD ADVICE, MR. DISRAELI,

WHICH I'M NOT GOING TO FOLLOW.

A TELEGRAM, SIR.

ALL RIGHT.

PERSONALLY, I CAN'T ENDURE THESE DISRAELIS,

BUT CLARISSA WOULD COME.

WELL, I CAN'T STAND THE FELLOW'S CONFOUNDED ASSURANCE.

PARDON ME.

SIR MICHAEL, WILL YOU COME INTO THE LIBRARY A MOMENT?

THERE'S A LITTLE MATTER ON WHICH I PARTICULARLY WANT YOUR ADVICE.

VERY WELL.

YOU'LL EXCUSE ME?

MRS. TRAVERS, DUKE,

I'M SURE YOU'LL FORGIVE ME FOR TAKING SIR MICHAEL AWAY.

SIT DOWN, SIR MICHAEL. SIT DOWN.

I'VE JUST HAD PRIVATE INFORMATION

THAT ISMAIL PASHA IS IN DESPERATE NEED OF MONEY.

AS YOU KNOW, HE HOLDS THE CONTROLLING SHARES OF THE SUEZ CANAL.

PROBERT, THIS IS AN UNPARALLELED OPPORTUNITY FOR ENGLAND.

OPPORTUNITY FOR ENGLAND?

YOU DON'T MEAN THAT IN EARNEST.

PARDON ME. IN DEAD EARNEST.

DO YOU SERIOUSLY MEAN THAT YOU'RE THINKING OF PURCHASING THE SUEZ CANAL FOR ENGLAND?

I HAVE SELDOM MEANT ANYTHING HALF SO SERIOUSLY.

AND YOU ARE ABOUT TO SUGGEST TO ME THAT THE BANK OF ENGLAND SHOULD BACK YOU?

I AM.

UNTIL PARLIAMENT MEETS AGAIN.

THEN LET ME TELL YOU, SIR, AT ONCE, I SHALL NEVER CONSENT.

NEVER, SIR. WAIT A MOMENT.

NO, SIR. THERE'S NOTHING TO WAIT FOR.

I'LL NOT ALLOW THE BANK TO PLAY DUCKS AND DRAKES WITH ITS MONEY

ON AN EGYPTIAN DITCH.

AN EGYPTIAN DITCH. THAT'S RATHER NEAT.

BUT IT WON'T BE DUCKS AND DRAKES

BECAUSE THE GOVERNMENT WILL BE AT YOUR BACK.

HOW DO I KNOW THAT?

I SAY SO.

SUPPOSE THE GOVERNMENT FALLS?

MY DEAR MAN, IT'S ALWAYS FALLING.

WHAT DIFFERENT DOES THAT MAKE?

WON'T THE CONSERVATIVES INVARIABLY GO ON

JUST WHERE THE RADICALS LEFT OFF, AND VICE VERSA?

BESIDES, IN THIS CASE, IT HASN'T TIME TO FALL.

THIS THING MUST BE DONE WITHIN THE NEXT 3 WEEKS,

LONG BEFORE PARLIAMENT MEETS.

BUT WHY IN SUCH A HURRY?

BECAUSE RUSSIA--

OH, THAT ANCIENT BUGBEAR.

THAT EVER-PRESENT PERIL

KNOWS OF THIS OPPORTUNITY TO PURCHASE THE HIGH ROAD TO INDIA.

THEN WHY HASN'T SHE PURCHASED IT?

SHE'S NOT READY. SHE HAS NO FLEET.

BUT SHE'S WATCHING US. SHE'S WATCHING ME.

SPY MANIA.

AND IF SHE SEES THE SLIGHTEST MOVE ON MY PART,

SHE'LL SNAP UP THE CANAL, FLEET OR NO FLEET.

A PRETTY WOMAN, MRS. TRAVERS.

YES.

SUCH PRETTY EARS.

WELL, SIR, AFTER THAT DELIGHTFUL INTERLUDE...

NO, SIR. YOUR SCHEME IS HAREBRAINED,

UNCONSTITUTIONAL, AND THE BANK WILL BE NO PARTY TO IT.

I TELL YOU THERE IS NO TIME--

YOU EXAGGERATE THE IMPORTANCE OF THE THING.

YOU HAVE THE EASTERN IMAGINATION.

BECAUSE THIS CANAL RUNS THROUGH A DESERT, YOU SEE IT IN A DREAM,

IN A MIRAGE.

NEAT AGAIN.

THE CANAL IS A CONFESSED FAILURE.

WHATEVER DOESN'T PAY IS A FAILURE.

THE TONNAGE THAT PASSED THROUGH IT LAST YEAR--

OH, PLEASE, PLEASE.

AND IT'S FILLING UP, SIR. FILLING UP.

SOON THE ONLY SHIPS SAILING ON IT WILL BE THE, UH, THE SHIP OF THE DESERT.

I MEAN THE CAMEL, SIR.

YES, I THOUGHT YOU MEANT THE CAMEL.

BEWARE OF THE EAST. REMEMBER PHARAOH, SIR. REMEMBER PHARAOH.

YES, BUT WHAT ABOUT MOSES?

HE WAS A JEW.

THAT IS, UH, HE WAS PRIVILEGED.

IN SHORT?

IN SHORT, I DISAPPROVE OF YOUR IMPERIALISTIC IDEAS, MR. DISRAELI,

AND THE BANK WILL NOT STIR A FINGER TO FURTHER THEM.

WHY ARE YOU, UH...

I FEARED YOU WERE GETTING TOO WARM.

AHH. I REJOICE TO THINK THAT I HAVE MADE THIS RASH ENTERPRISE IMPOSSIBLE.

OH, BUT YOU HAVEN'T.

WHERE WOULD YOU GO FOR THE MONEY?

WHERE PHARAOH WENT. WHERE ALL CHRISTIANS GO.

I SHALL GO TO MOSES.

AT ANY RATE, UNDERSTAND, IT WILL BE NO USE COMING TO ME.

THIS, SIR, IS DEFINITE AND FINAL.

NOTHING IS FINAL, SIR MICHAEL. IN THE UNLIKELY EVENT OF MOSES FAILING ME,

I MAY SEND FOR YOU AGAIN.

AND I SHALL NOT COME, SIR.

I THINK YOU WILL.

DIZZY, WHAT ARE YOU AND SIR MICHAEL TALKING ABOUT?

LADY PROBERT'S IN A DREADFUL WAY.

SHE'S MISSED HER HUSBAND.

HAS SHE?

HE'S MISSED HIS OPPORTUNITY.

COME, DEAR. EVERYBODY WILL WONDER WHAT'S BECOME OF YOU.

ALL RIGHT, MY DEAR. I MUST GET HOLD OF HUGH MEYERS.

HUGH MEYERS THE BANKER?

HUGH MEYERS THE BANKER. THAT'S THE MAN, MARY.

THAT'S THE MAN.

WILL YOU VERY KINDLY SEND THAT TELEGRAM?

DIZZY, YOU'RE NOT WORRYING ABOUT MONEY?

NO, NO, MY DEAR. PROBERT AND I WERE JUST TALKING POLITICS.

THERE'S DEEFORD.

YOU KNOW, I TOLD YOU SOMETHING MIGHT HAPPEN TO HIM.YES.

WELL, IT HAS HAPPENED. HE HAS ASKED CLARISSA TO MARRY HIM.

THAT WILL BE A GOOD MATCH, I SUPPOSE.

YES, BUT SHE'S REFUSED.

OH!

MARY, I'M GOING TO PLAY FAIRY GODFATHER AND BRING THEM TOGETHER.

YOU A MATCHMAKER.

THE PRIME MINISTER NEGLECTING HIS WORK.

THE LESS A PRIME MINISTER DOES, THE FEWER MISTAKES HE'S APT TO MAKE.

THAT'S RATHER GOOD.

I MUST SAY THAT TO GLADSTONE ONE NIGHT IN THE HOUSE.

HA HA HA!

I'VE BEEN SEARCHING FOR A YOUNG MAN.

WITH SUCH A PRIZE AS CLARISSA, CHARLES MAY BECOME JUST WHAT I NEED.

AND THINK WHAT A SPLENDID COUPLE THEY'D MAKE.

AH, DIZZY. ALWAYS DREAMING OF ROMANCE.

AND LIVING ONE, MY DEAR, WHILE YOU ARE BY MY SIDE.

IS THAT DEEFORD?

YES.

RUN ALONG, MY DEAR. HE'S EAGER TO SPEAK TO ME.

I THINK HE WANTS TO KILL ME.

HA HA HA!

MR. DISRAELI.

AH. I KNOW THAT TONE OF VOICE SO WELL.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN, SIR?

IT'S THE TONE OF AN ANGRY MAN.

NOW, WHAT CAN HAVE PUT YOU OUT?

NO, DON'T SPEAK. INTERRUPTIONS ARE ANNOYING.

IF THEY HADN'T INTERRUPTED ME

THE FIRST TIME I ADDRESSED THE HOUSE OF COMMONS,

I MIGHT HAVE BECOME A VESTRYMAN AND RESPECTABLE.

REALLY, MR. DISRAELI, YOU MAKE IT DIFFICULT TO TALK TO YOU SERIOUSLY.

I NEVER TALK SERIOUSLY. KEEP YOUR GRAVE FACE FOR YOUR JOKES.

I, UH, NEVER MAKE JOKES.

A MAN WHO NEVER MAKES JOKES IS A STANDING JOKE TO THE WORLD.

HUMOR IS OF SEVERAL KINDS. WE OXFORD MEN HAVE A HUMOR OF OUR OWN.

I KNOW-- AN UNCONSCIOUS HUMOR.

MR. DISRAELI, CLARISSA HAS REFUSED ME.

YES?

AND I, SIR,

I ATTRIBUTE HER REFUSAL TO YOUR INFLUENCE.

I SEE.

I WAS THOROUGHLY JUSTIFIED IN THINKING WELL OF YOU.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

YOU HAVE COURAGE, OR YOU WOULD NEVER SAY THAT TO ME.

AND WHY SHOULD I NOT SAY IT?

BECAUSE IT'S TRUE.

AND WHEN A VERY YOUNG MAN

SPEAKS AN UNPLEASANT TRUTH TO A VERY OLD ONE,

HE SHOWS ABSOLUTELY RECKLESS COURAGE.

THERE WAS NO OTHER WAY.

A HUNDRED. YOU THINK A GIRL'S NO IS FINAL?

I SUPPOSE SHE KNOWS HER OWN MIND.

CERTAINLY. MAKE HER CHANGE IT.

HOW?

I'M GLAD YOU'RE ASKING ME TO HELP YOU,

BECAUSE I'M INTERESTED IN YOU.

INTERESTED IN ME?

DEEPLY.

WHY?

BECAUSE ENGLAND STANDS IN TERRIBLE NEED OF MEN LIKE YOU.

I CAN'T SEE THAT.

ENGLAND WAS NEVER SO PROSPEROUS AS NOW.

SHE HAS A WISE ARISTOCRACY,

AN INDUSTRIOUS MIDDLE CLASS, A CONTENTED AND HAPPY PEASANTRY.

BRAVO! BRAVO.

HOW MANY OLD TORY SQUIRES HAVE I HEARD TALK JUST LIKE THAT?

AND THAT'S HOW THEY'VE TALKED SINCE THE BEGINNING OF THINGS.

THAT'S HOW THEY TALKED WHEN WE LOST JAMAICA,

WHEN THE INDIAN MUTINY BURST UPON US,

WHEN OUR SOLDIERS FROZE AND STARVED IN THE CRIMEA,

WHEN WE DESERTED DENMARK, AND WHEN WE REMAINED IDLE

WHILE FRANCE AND GERMANY FLEW AT EACH OTHER'S THROATS.

IT'S JUST THAT TALK THAT HAS LOST US ALL OUR FRIENDSHIPS.

HO! CONTINENTAL FRIENDSHIPS?

FROG-EATERS AND BEER-SWILLERS.

IS THAT HOW YOU TALK TO CLARISSA?

I DO NOT DISCUSS POLITICS WITH WOMEN.

I DO.

THINK, MAN. THINK.

ENGLAND IS AS ISOLATED AS A SHIP LYING OFF THE COAST.

HER CREW KNOW NOTHING OF WHAT THEY CALL THE LANDLUBBERS.

THEY GO ONSHORE NOW AND THEN FOR A DEBAUCH,

BUT AS THEY ONLY HUNT OUT THE VICE, THEY COME BACK WITH A HEADACHE

AND RIGHTEOUSLY THANK GOD THEY ARE NOT AS OTHER MEN.

I TELL YOU, A FERMENT IS AT WORK ALL OVER THE WORLD.

TITANIC FORCES ARE UNCHAINED IN AMERICA,

FORCES YOU HAVE NO CONCEPTION OF.

THE SPIRIT OF NATIONALITY IS AROUSED IN FRANCE, IN ITALY, IN GERMANY.

NEW WINE HAS BEEN POURED INTO OLD BOTTLES,

AND AN EXPLOSION MUST FOLLOW SOONER OR LATER.

I SHALL NOT LIVE TO SEE IT, BUT I HEAR THE SEETHING OF THE YEAST.

BUT YOU.

MY GOD, WHAT THINGS YOU WILL WITNESS.

TAKE CARE YOU ARE NOT ASLEEP.

ALL THE NATIONS MUST EXPAND, AND EVERYWHERE OUR EMPIRE IS IN THEIR WAY.

RUSSIA, FOR INSTANCE. NOW WHILE ENGLAND STANDS ALONE,

WHILE FRANCE IS CRIPPLED AND BEFORE GERMANY IS RECOVERED,

NOW IS RUSSIA'S OPPORTUNITY TO SNATCH AT INDIA.

AND WITH INDIA LOST, THE WHOLE FABRIC CRUMBLES

AND ENGLAND SINKS INTO INSIGNIFICANCE,

A BELGIUM AT SEA.

NOW DO YOU SEE WHY CLARISSA REFUSED YOU?

THESE ARE THE THINGS I'VE SHOWED HER.

DO YOU WONDER SHE WANTS A MAN OF ACTION?

DO YOU WONDER SHE'S NOT CONTENT WITH BEING A MERE DUKE'S WIFE?

I SEE.

I SEE, BUT... WHAT CAN I DO?

WHAT CAN ANY ONE MAN DO?

WHAT ONE MAN HAS ALREADY DONE.

YOU, SIR.

BUT HOW CAN I HOPE TO EMULATE YOU?

YOU CAN LEARN. WILL YOU LEARN?

WILL YOU TEACH ME, SIR?

YES.

HOW CAN I BEGIN?

LEAVE YOUR SMALL IDEALS.

OR BETTER STILL, GROW FROM SMALL IDEALS TO GREATER.

YOU HAVE BEGUN WELL. YOU'RE PUTTING YOUR HOUSE IN ORDER.

NOW PASS ON. PASS FROM THE PARISH TO THE EMPIRE.

THE PARISH. HOW SMALL IT SEEMS,

AND EVERYTHING I'VE DONE IN POLITICS,

HOW UTTERLY INSIGNIFICANT.

IN POLITICS, NOTHING IS INSIGNIFICANT.

CONTRAST IT WITH THIS QUESTION OF INDIA.

WHETHER WE HOLD IT OR LOSE IT.

WHAT'S THE SOLUTION? WAR?

WAR IS NEVER A SOLUTION. IT'S AN AGGRAVATION.

WHAT THEN IS THE SOLUTION?

A VERY SMALL THING-- A THING MEN ARE LAUGHING AT.

WHAT, SIR? WHAT?

A DITCH.

A DITCH DUG IN SAND.

A DITCH?

A DITCH DUG IN SHIFTING SAND.

YOU MEAN THAT--

I MEAN THAT A DITCH DUG IN SAND GROWS THE VERY BEST CELERY.

AH! MRS. TRAVERS.

WE WERE JUST IN THE THICK OF A MOST INTERESTING HORTICULTURAL ARGUMENT.

REALLY?

YES. MARY.

YES, DEAR?

LORD DEEFORD HAS DONE ME THE HONOR

OF ACCEPTING A SECRETARYSHIP.

WHAT?

LORD DEEFORD WORKING?

CLARISSA, ISN'T THAT UNEXPECTED?

NOT ALTOGETHER.

AND HOW HE'LL HAVE TO WORK.

YOU'LL HAVE SO MUCH TO TEACH HIM.

MR. DISRAELI HAS ALREADY BEGUN.

YES. I'VE BEEN TEACHING HIM

WHAT IT TOOK ME MANY YEARS TO LEARN.

WHAT IS THAT?

DEAR LADY, THAT A DITCH DUG IN SAND

GROWS THE VERY BEST CELERY.

Mary: DIZZY, WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

CELERY?

HELLO. MORNING, ROBERT.

MORNING, MR. DISRAELI.

MORNING, WILLIAM.

MORNING, SIR.

OH. GOOD MORNING, MR. FOLJAMBE.

GOOD MORNING, SIR.

YOU DIDN'T TELL ME MR. FOLJAMBE WAS WAITING.

Man: HE WAS NOT HERE, SIR.

AH.

THESE ARE READY FOR DELIVERY, SIR.

THANK YOU, TERLE.

DISPATCHES FROM RUSSIA.

HELLO, DEEFORD. THANK YOU.

WELL, YOU MIGHT LOOK OVER THESE FIGURES, WILL YOU?

AND, UH, HAVE THOSE DELIVERED FOR ME.

IS THERE ANYTHING ELSE, SIR?

NOTHING ELSE, MR. FOLJAMBE.

OH, MR. FOLJAMBE.

YOU, UH, HAVE THE FIGURES ABOUT THE FORTIFICATION?

YES, SIR.

THE--

THOSE ARE THE, UH, DISPATCHES FROM RUSSIA, AREN'T THEY?

OH, I BEG YOUR PARDON, SIR.

OH, QUITE A NATURAL MISTAKE.

MR. HUGH MEYERS, SIR.

AH!

MEYERS, HOW DO YOU DO?

WELL?

THE MONEY IS ON ITS WAY.

FROM-- THE ARGENTINE.

WHEN WILL IT ARRIVE?

IN 3 WEEKS. GOOD.

TO BE PLACED AT MY DISPOSAL IN THE BANK OF ENGLAND.

THE BANK OF ENGLAND? THAT'S RATHER HUMOROUS.

WHY?

I WAS THINKING OF PROBERT.

OH.

[BOTH LAUGHING]

UH, DEEFORD.

THIS IS MR. HUGH MEYERS,

ONE OF THE WORLD'S GREATEST POWERS.

WE HAVE TO RAISE MONEY, YOU KNOW,

FOR THE FORTIFICATIONS OF THE GULF OF ADEN.

OH, I HOPED IT WAS SOMETHING

MUCH MORE ROMANTIC THAN THAT, SIR.

OH? WHAT?

THE SUEZ CANAL.

OH, DID YOU?

YOU'RE QUITE RIGHT.

IT IS THE SUEZ CANAL.

SINCE YOU'VE HIT ON THE TRUTH,

IT'S BETTER THAT I SHOULD TELL YOU,

BUT UNTIL I AM READY, NOT A SYLLABLE MUST BE BREATHED

ON THIS MATTER. IS THAT CLEAR?

ON MY HONOR, SIR.

GOOD.

WOULD YOU COME INTO MY ROOM, MR. MEYERS?

Foljambe: EXCUSE ME, SIR.

I FORGOT TO GIVE YOU YOUR LIST OF ENGAGEMENTS.

OH, THANK YOU, MR. FOLJAMBE.

UH, MR. MEYERS, THIS IS MR. FOLJAMBE. SUCH A WORKER.

LET ME SEE. WHAT WAS THE EXACT AMOUNT

REQUIRED FOR THE FORTIFICATIONS OF THE GULF OF ADEN?

YOU HAVE THE PAPERS, YOU KNOW. THE BLUE ONE.

I'LL FIND OUT, SIR.

THANK YOU. COME, MR. MEYERS.

DO YOU KNOW WHY MR. MEYERS IS HERE?

I'M VERY BUSY.

HE'S NOT HERE FOR ANY FORTIFICATION SCHEME.

HE'S HERE FOR THE SUEZ CANAL.

LADY CLARISSA PEVENSEY AND MRS. TRAVERS ARE HERE.

HERE'S AN INVASION.

DELIGHTED.

MRS. TRAVERS AND I WERE DYING TO SEE

HOW YOU LOOKED IN THE THROES OF TOIL.

WELL, IT HASN'T UNDERMINED MY CONSTITUTION YET.

WE EXPECTED TO FIND YOU WITH A WET TOWEL AROUND YOUR HEAD.

NOW, SO FAR, I'VE DONE NOTHING BUT LOOK ON.

IT'S A WONDERFUL OPPORTUNITY FOR YOU.

THAT'LL BE A BOMBSHELL FOR PROBERT.

I'M DELIGHTED.

WELL, WELL, WELL!

COME TO SEE THE NEOPHYTE, EH?

AH! MRS. TRAVERS.

YOU KNOW, I HALF EXPECTED THIS VISIT.

UH, ALLOW ME. MR. HUGH MEYERS,

LADY CLARISSA PEVENSEY,

MRS. TRAVERS.

HOW DO YOU DO?

DEAR LADIES, YOU'LL EXCUSE US.

WAS THIS A MOMENTOUS INTERVIEW?

I REALLY CANNOT TELL YOU.

AH, THAT MEANS THAT IT WAS.

HOW EXCITING TO BE IN ON ALL THE STATE SECRETS.

OH, BUT I'M NOT. I AM ONLY AN APPRENTICE.

HA HA HA!

HOW HUMBLY YOU SPEAK OF YOURSELF.

I KNOW NOW THAT I KNOW NOTHING.

THAT'S A GREAT STRIDE TOWARDS YOUR GOAL,

ISN'T IT?

IS IT?

I THINK SO.

MAY WE?

PLEASE DO...

BUT LET AN OLD WOMAN REST HER WEARY BONES.

[KNOCKING RHYTHM]

AGATHA--

SHH. MEYERS? YES.

ABOUT THE CANAL? YES.

THEY'RE AGREED.

HOW DO YOU KNOW?

BOTH RADIANT. THEN?

CAIRO. START NOW.

YES, BUT I-- NOW.

INSTRUCTIONS.

AT TRIESTE.

TRIESTE? HOW?

BY WAY OF OSTEND. OSTEND.

OH, HELLO, MRS. TRAVERS.

OH, MR. FOLJAMBE.

HERE ARE THE PAPERS GIVING THE FIGURES YOU ASKED FOR, SIR.

THANK YOU. THE BLUE ONE AND THE WHITE ONE.

BLUE AND WHITE.

THAT'S CURIOUS.

UH, MRS. TRAVERS, THIS IS MR. FOLJAMBE.

UH, SUCH A WORKER.

HOW'S YOUR POOR HUSBAND?

NO BETTER, I FEAR. STILL ABROAD.

TAKING THE WATERS, YOU KNOW.

WILL YOU KINDLY MAKE MY EXCUSES TO THE YOUNG PEOPLE?

THEY'RE OUT THERE.

YOU'RE NOT GOING SO ABRUPTLY?

I'M SORRY, BUT DEAR LADY PROBERT IS ORGANIZING A BAZAAR.

ALWAYS OCCUPIED IN GOOD WORK.

ALWAYS WITH YOUR HAND IN SOME GREAT UNDERTAKING.

IN SECRET, TOO.

HA HA HA! GOOD-BYE, MR. DISRAELI.

GOOD-BYE, MRS. TRAVERS.

NO. NOT A STEP, NOT A STEP. GOOD-BYE.

GOOD-BYE, MRS. TRAVERS.

OSTEND.

OSTEND.

[KNOCKING RHYTHM]

Foljambe: HA HA HA!

I, UH, I BEG YOUR PARDON, SIR.

I THOUGHT YOU CALLED.

CHARLES! CHARLES!

VERY SORRY, SIR.

DID FOLJAMBE MAKE ANY COMMENT ABOUT MEYERS' VISIT?

WHY, YES. I THOUGHT HIM RATHER IMPERTINENT.

OH? HOW? SHALL I GO?

NO, NO, MY DEAR. YOU'RE WELCOME.

HE ASKED QUESTIONS. YES?

BUT I SNUBBED HIM. FINALLY, HE HAD THE IMPERTINENCE

TO SAY THAT YOU WERE SEEING MEYERS ABOUT-- WELL?

AM I TO SPEAK IN LADY CLARISSA'S PRESENCE? YES, YES. GO ON.

ABOUT THE SUEZ CANAL. AND WHAT DID YOU SAY?

NOT A WORD, OF COURSE!

OH.

HOW DID YOU SNUB HIM?

I MERELY STOOD UP AND LOOKED AT HIM.

AHH! WHAT, SIR?

WHAT MORE COULD YOU HAVE TOLD HIM IF YOU'D TALKED FOR AN HOUR?

DO YOU ACCUSE ME OF SPEAKING?

NO, SIR. I ACCUSE YOU OF HOLDING YOUR TONGUE TOO ELOQUENTLY.

HE'S EASILY MUZZLED. HOW?

PUT HIM ON HIS PAROLE. I'LL FETCH HIM.

YES. FETCH HIM, FETCH HIM. MR. TERLE! MR. TERLE!

YES, SIR?

SEND FOR THE SENIOR QUEEN'S MESSENGER IMMEDIATELY.

YES, SIR.

WELL? HE'S NOT THERE.

HE'S NOT IN HIS ROOM, SIR.

NO. SHALL I TELL YOU WHERE HE IS?

HE'S AT VICTORIA STATION, CATCHING THE 10:30 EXPRESS

ON HIS WAY TO OSTEND, TRIESTE, AND SO TO CAIRO.

FOR GOD'S SAKE, SIR, WHO IS HE?

HE'S MRS. TRAVERS' HUSBAND!

OH! YES!

HE AND SHE ARE AGENTS, SPIES RUSSIA HAS SENT HERE

TO DISCOVER WHAT YOU HAVE TOLD THEM.

HAVE HIM ARRESTED. HOW? ON WHAT GROUNDS? WHAT HAS HE DONE?

BUT WHY DID YOU EMPLOY HIM KNOWING HE WAS A SPY?

BECAUSE I KNEW IT. BECAUSE I WANTED TO HAVE HIM UNDER MY EYE.

FOR WEEKS, HE'S BEEN SECRETLY ENTERING THIS ROOM. I KNEW IT.

I PLANTED PAPERS AND LETTERS FOR HIM TO READ.

I HAD HIM ON THE WRONG SCENT WHEN YOU--

WHEN I BLUNDERED.

WHEN YOU LOST CONTROL OF YOUR FEATURES.

WILL YOU TELL US WHY SILENCE IS SO IMPORTANT?

HA! NOW IT'S OF NO IMPORTANCE WHATEVER.

YES. YOU OUGHT TO KNOW SO THAT IN FUTURE--

FUTURE? WHAT FUTURE IS THERE FOR ME?

IN FUTURE, YOU MAY LEARN TO CONTROL YOUR FEATURES,

AS WELL AS YOUR TONGUE. SIT DOWN.

ISMAIL PASHA, THE KHEDIVE OF EGYPT,

IS UNDER THE IMPRESSION THAT HE'S RAMSES THE GREAT,

BUT THE ONLY PYRAMID HE HAS RAISED

IS A PYRAMID OF DEBT.

EGYPT IS A DRY BONE, OUT OF WHICH HE HAS SUCKED THE LAST OUNCE OF MARROW.

THE LAST ASSETS HE HAS ARE THE CONTROLLING SHARES IN THE SUEZ CANAL.

THESE HE IS DYING TO SELL TO THE HIGHEST BIDDER. FRANCE BUILT THE CANAL,

BUT SHE'S TOO POOR TO BUY IT.

RUSSIA COVETS IT AS A MEANS OF SNATCHING INDIA;

ENGLAND, AS A MEANS OF DEFENDING IT.

BOTH PRETEND THE PURCHASE

IS THE LAST THING IN THE WORLD THEY ARE THINKING OF.

BOTH ARE WATCHING EACH OTHER LIKE CATS,

AND ISMAIL SITS AND WAITS FOR THE CAT TO JUMP.

THOSE SHARES I MEAN TO HAVE!

AH. THE BANK OF ENGLAND REFUSES TO BACK ME,

BUT TODAY MEYERS HAS GIVEN ME A BLANK CHECK,

AND I THOUGHT THE THING WAS DONE,

BUT NOW FOLJAMBE KNOWS, RUSSIA KNOWS.

IN A WEEK, FOLJAMBE WILL BE IN CAIRO,

AND WHATEVER SUM I OFFER, HE WILL DOUBLE.

NOW DO YOU SEE THE IMPORTANCE OF IT?

IS THERE NO REMEDY?

OF COURSE THERE IS.

WHAT, SIR? WHAT?

I MUST SEND A MAN TO CAIRO WITH UNLIMITED POWERS,

READY TO OUTBID ANYTHING, READY TO POUND THE NAIL.

WHAT MUST BE THE MAN'S QUALIFICATIONS?

A STRONG, STERN, SILENT MAN,

SUBTLE AND CUNNING,

FIGHTING WILINESS WITH WILINESS.

HAVE YOU SUCH A MAN, SIR?

I'VE SENT FOR HIM. [SOBBING]

WHAT'S THE MATTER, CLARISSA?

WHAT IS IT, MY DEAR?

I'D HOPED FOR A MINUTE,

WHILE YOU WERE SPEAKING,

THAT PERHAPS CHARLES MIGHT--

OH, DON'T SAY IT, CLARISSA. DON'T SAY IT.

YES.

DO SAY IT, CLARISSA. DO SAY IT,

FOR THERE'S ANOTHER KIND OF MAN WHO MIGHT BE TWICE AS USEFUL.

WHAT KIND?

A MAN SO HONEST THAT THE ROGUES WILL THINK HIM A ROGUE;

SO TRUTHFUL, THEY'LL SWEAR HE WAS LYING;

SO SIMPLE, THEY'D NEVER FATHOM--

WHY LAUGH AT ME, SIR? I FEEL MY FOLLY BITTERLY ENOUGH.

WHAT'S THE MATTER, CHARLES?

DISGUST! UTTER DISGUST

WITH MYSELF AND DESPAIR.

WHY DESPAIR?

Terle: THE QUEEN'S MESSENGER!

NOT WANTED! YOU ARE THE MAN!

I? I TO BE TRUSTED WITH THIS MISSION AFTER WHAT I'VE DONE?

WHY NOT?

BECAUSE I'M A USELESS, CONCEITED IDLER

AND A PERFECT, COMPLETE FOOL.

WELL, GRANTING THAT--

WHAT? I DIDN'T SAY IT. BUT GRANTING THAT,

THAT'S A VERY GOOD REASON FOR SENDING YOU.

BUT I'VE FAILED ALREADY.

NEARLY ALL MY SUCCESSES ARE FOUNDED ON PREVIOUS FAILURES.

ON YOUR OWN SHOWING, NO ONE WILL SUSPECT YOU.

YOU'VE ONLY TO MEET ALL THEIR CUNNING WITH THAT STOLID BRITISH FACE OF YOURS,

AND THE SCHEMES WILL BE DISARMED. COME. WILL YOU GO?

WILL I GO! AHH!

THERE'S YOUR MAN OF ACTION, CLARISSA.

I WARN YOU, THERE'LL BE GRAVE DANGER.

ARE YOU READY TO MEET IT?

Deeford: YES, SIR.

I MEAN, DANGER OF DEATH.

YES, SIR.

DEATH?

EVERY STEP OF THE WAY, EVERY HOUR OF THE DAY,

DANGER LURKING IN EVERY DISGUISE.

WHEN ONCE HE IS IN EGYPT, IF HIS ERRAND BE KNOWN,

HIS LIFE WILL NOT BE WORTH A MOMENT'S PURCHASE.

OH, I DIDN'T KNOW. I DIDN'T KNOW.

CLARISSA, MY CHILD, DO YOU FORBID HIM TO GO?

I? I CANNOT FORBID.

OH, YES, YOU CAN. HE SHALL OBEY YOU.

BUT THINK A MOMENT. IF YOU FORBID AND HE OBEYS

AND I SEND THAT OTHER MAN,

HOW WILL YOU FEEL?

Deeford: CLARISSA.

YOU MUST GO.

HA HA! WELL DONE!

IF I SUCCEED.

WHETHER YOU SUCCEED OR FAIL, EH? GOOD!

NOW THEN...

WHEN CAN YOU BE READY TO START?

I THINK I COULD START THE DAY AFTER TOMORROW.

CAPITAL. THAT'LL MAKE THE ENTERPRISE

SO MUCH MORE INTERESTING.

HOW DO YOU MEAN, SIR?

FOLJAMBE WILL HAVE A 48-HOUR START WITH ISMAIL.

YOU MEAN I SHALL BE TOO LATE?

I AM TRYING TO CONVEY THAT IMPRESSION.

WELL, TOMORROW, THEN, IF IT MUST BE.

AH, THAT'S BETTER...

ALTHOUGH FOLJAMBE CAN DO A GREAT DEAL IN A DAY.

WELL, THERE'S A NIGHT MAIL TONIGHT AT 9:00.

NOW. NOW? YOU DON'T MEAN--

I MEAN IN 10 MINUTES. BUT MY LUGGAGE.

I SHAN'T EVEN HAVE A CLEAN COLLAR. DAMN YOUR COLLAR.

TAKE THE DOVER EXPRESS DELIVERY FROM CHARING CROSS.

YOU'LL BE IN MARSEILLES TOMORROW MORNING

AND IN CAIRO A DAY AHEAD OF FOLJAMBE. A DAY AHEAD!

BY JOVE, I'LL DO IT!

OF COURSE YOU WILL! NOW, CHILDREN...

SAY GOOD-BYE TO ONE ANOTHER

WHILE I WRITE YOUR INSTRUCTIONS.

OH.

CLARISSA...

DID YOU HEAR WHAT MR. DISRAELI SAID JUST NOW?

THE HOPE HE HELD OUT OF A REWARD?

IF HE HAD NOT SAID IT, I SHOULD HAVE.

THE REWARD WILL BE MINE IF I SUCCEED?

OR IF YOU FAIL.

OH, CLARISSA...

DO YOU LOVE ME, THEN?

I LOVE YOU.

TIME'S UP.

READY, SIR.

NOW THEN, HERE'S ALL YOU NEED--

MONEY, INSTRUCTIONS, AND THE CODE FOR TELEGRAMS.

I KEEP THE DUPLICATE. NOW, BE OFF.

NO, NO. DEPARTURES SHOULD BE SUDDEN.

GOOD LUCK. GOOD-BYE.

GOOD LUCK. GOOD-BYE.

GOOD LUCK!

[DOOR CLOSES]

AND GOD BLESS YOU.

[SOBBING]

WELL, NOW THEN...

OH, WHAT AM I TO DO? WHAT AM I TO DO?

WOULD, UH, WOULD YOU CARE TO GO FOR A DRIVE?

OH, YOU'RE HEARTLESS! HOW AM I TO WAIT?

HOW AM I TO WAIT?

YOU? YOU DON'T LOVE HIM.

NO? THEN WHY DID I SEND HIM?

LISTEN, I'VE GOT AN IDEA. WHAT?

COME INTO THE COUNTRY AND FEED PEACOCKS.

PEACOCKS?

VERY NOBLE AND INTELLIGENT BIRDS, I ASSURE YOU.

PEACOCKS!

[LAUGHING]

WELL, I SAY THEY ARE INTELLIGENT BIRDS.

HEY, MASTER, WHERE YOU BE GOING WITH THAT SPADE?

WHAT? WHY, BLESS MY SOUL.

AND THEM DIRTY BOOTS.

SPLENDID MORNING'S WORK, EH, POTTER?

WELL, DON'T BLAME ME IF YOU'VE CAUGHT YOUR DEATH.

CAUGHT MY DEATH? WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

'TIS WELL KNOWED YOU OUGHT TO BE IN YOUR BED!

WHY? I'M NOT ILL.

YES, YOU ARE. MORTAL BAD YOU ARE.

SAYS SO IN PRINT.

OH? WHERE?

LAST NIGHT'S GLOBE. I READ IT WITH ME OWN EYES.

HA! A HIGHLY RESPECTABLE SHEET.

AND WHAT DOES IT SAY?

SAYS DR. WILLIAMS HAS BEEN SEEN GOING IN AND OUT HERE,

AND THAT BE TRUE, TOO...

FOR HE JUST DROVE BY AND LEFT THIS BOTTLE OF STUFF FOR YE.

FOR ME? NO, NO.

FOR LADY BEACONSFIELD.

VERY KIND OF THEM TO BE SO ANXIOUS ABOUT ME.

DR. WILLIAMS HAS BEEN HERE TWICE...

TO SEE LADY BEACONSFIELD, WHO HAD A FAINTING FIT.

AND THAT'S ALL.

OH, THEM LONDON NEWSPAPERS!

AH, MY COFFEE.

GOOD MORNING, MR. BASCOT.

GOOD MORNING, SIR.

IS YOUR MISTRESS STIRRING?

I BELIEVE SO, SIR.

AND LADY CLARISSA?

YES, SIR.

OH!

MORNING, MR. DISRAELI.

GOOD MORNING, MY DEAR.

ANY NEWS OF CHARLES?

NOT YET.

OH, NOT YET, NOT YET.

IT SHOULD HAVE COME DAYS AGO, SHOULDN'T IT? SHOULDN'T IT?

ARE YOU SO DEEPLY IN LOVE?

OH, DREADFULLY.

HAVE YOU HAD BREAKFAST?

BREAKFAST!

TELL ME... OUR LITTLE SECRET--

ABOUT MRS. TRAVERS?

YES. YOU'VE HEARD FROM HER?

NOT A SOUND. SHE'S KEEPING VERY QUIET.

I DON'T LIKE PEOPLE WHO KEEP QUIET.

SHE MIGHT DO A GREAT DEAL OF MISCHIEF.

SO LADY BEACONSFIELD HAS PERSUADED HER TO COME HERE TODAY.

I WANT TO HAVE THAT GLORIOUS CREATURE WHERE I CAN SEE HER.

AH, MARY, MY DEAR.

GOOD MORNING, DIZZY.

HAD A GOOD NIGHT?

OF COURSE I HAVE. SLEPT LIKE A TOP.

YOU SURE?

NOW, CLARISSA, LISTEN TO HIM.

HE DOUBTS EVERYBODY'S WORD. HE DOUBTS MINE.

I NEVER CAN BELIEVE ANYTHING YOU SAY ABOUT YOURSELF, MARY.

YOU KNOW WHAT THIS FOOLISH WOMAN DID A LITTLE WHILE AGO?

SHE DROVE WITH ME ONE NIGHT TO THE HOUSE OF COMMONS

WHEN I HAD TO MAKE A VERY IMPORTANT SPEECH.

THE FOOTMAN SLAMMED THE CARRIAGE DOOR

AND CRUSHED HER FINGER. OH!

YES. THAT POOR FINGER.

AND BECAUSE SHE KNEW HOW DISTRESSED I SHOULD BE,

SHE NEVER UTTERED A SOUND,

BUT BORE THE AGONY UNFLINCHINGLY,

AND I KNEW NOTHING ABOUT IT

UNTIL I GOT HOME.

OH, HOW WONDERFUL.

WAIT TILL YOU'RE MARRIED, MY DEAR.

YOU'LL BE DOING JUST AS WONDERFUL THINGS

AND THINKING JUST AS LITTLE OF THEM.

WELL, IF YOU'RE TELLING THE TRUTH...

HA HA! OH, DIZZY.

YOU SHALL HAVE YOUR MORNING OFFERING.

CLARISSA, NEVER ALLUDE TO MY HEALTH BEFORE DIZZY, PROMISE.

IT WORRIES HIM, AND HEAVEN KNOWS

HE HAS WORRIES ENOUGH WITHOUT THAT.

WELL, IS ANYTHING THE MATTER?

NOTHING. NOTHING TO MAKE A FUSS ABOUT.

DR. WILLIAMS SAYS I MUST BE CAREFUL. I AM, SO THAT'S ALL RIGHT.

NOW, MIND, NOT A WORD TO DIZZY.

THE CRUSHED FINGER AGAIN?

GLADLY. EVERY DAY FOR HIS SAKE.

THE LAST ROSE OF SUMMER.

THANK YOU, DIZZY.

TELEGRAM, SIR.

OH!

THANK YOU, MR. BASCOT.

OPEN IT, OPEN IT, OPEN IT!

MARY, DO LOOK AFTER THAT SILLY CHILD

WHILE I READ THIS TELEGRAM FROM MY TAILOR.

AH!

OH, FOR PITY'S SAKE!

IT IS FROM CAIRO!

WHAT DOES IT SAY?

"THE CELERY IS RIPE TO CUT."

HA HA HA!

"THE CELERY IS RIPE TO CUT"?

I MUST SAY, I HARDLY THINK IT WAS WORTHWHILE GOING TO THE EXPENSE--

WHAT DOES IT MEAN?

A GREAT DEAL MORE THAN IT SAYS.

LOOK. WHAT'S THAT?

A COPY OF THE CODE I GAVE HIM.

SEE? "THE CELERY IS RIPE TO CUT."

THE PARALLEL SENTENCE: "THE SUEZ CANAL PURCHASE IS COMPLETED

AND THE CHECK ACCEPTED"!

DIZZY! HE SUCCEEDED!

SUPERBLY!

OH, THANK GOD! THANK GOD!

CLARISSA!

LET HER CRY, MARY. IT'S WORTH IT.

HOW GLAD YOU MUST BE.

GLAD, FOR NOW THAT OTHER DREAM OF MINE WILL BE REALIZED.

WHAT DREAM?

TO MAKE MY SOVEREIGN EMPRESS OF INDIA.

EMPRESS OF INDIA.

AH, SOUNDS WELL, MARY, DOESN'T IT?

MARY, YOU USED TO BE MY MESSENGER WHEN THE TIME WAS RIPE.

YOU, LADY BEACONSFIELD,

SHALL CARRY THE NEWS TO OUR BELOVED QUEEN,

AND YOU SHALL BE THERE, AND YOU SHALL BE PROUD

WHEN I STAND UP TO ANNOUNCE THE NEW TITLE

TO HER MAJESTY'S FAITHFUL COMMON.

YES, DIZZY. WHEN WILL THAT BE?

OH, SOME TIME'S TO LAPSE. THIS MUST BE FORMALLY RATIFIED.

PUBLIC OPINION MUST BE CREATED.

MAKE HASTE, DIZZY. MAKE HASTE.

IMPATIENT WOMAN.

WILL CHARLES COME BACK SOON?

THAT'S ANOTHER IMPATIENT WOMAN, MARY.

I MUST TELEGRAPH MR. MEYERS.

YES.

MEYERS MADE THIS THING POSSIBLE.

ANOTHER JEW, MARY.

OH.

THERE'LL BE A PEERAGE FOR HIM.

HOW CURIOUS OLD PROBERT WILL BE.

HA HA HA!

"HUGH MEYERS, LONDON WHARF.

THE SUEZ CANAL PURCHASE IS COMPLETED AND THE CHECK ACCEPTED."

BUT YOU HAVEN'T ANSWERED MY QUESTION.

WILL CHARLES COME HOME SOON?

YES, WITH DRUMS BEATING, TRUMPETS BLOWING, FLAGS FLYING.

I DON'T CARE ANYTHING ABOUT THAT.

AND WEDDING BELLS RINGING.

A STATION CAB. COULD THAT BE MRS. TRAVERS?

MRS. TRAVERS? WE CAN'T HAVE MRS. TRAVERS HERE NOW.

SHE'LL WORM THIS OUT OF YOU IN NO TIME.

SHE'LL READ IT ON BOTH OF YOUR FACES.

DIZZY, YOU MADE ME INVITE HER.

GET RID OF HER. SEND HER AWAY. KILL HER.

HA HA HA!

PUT YOUR WITS TOGETHER, BOTH OF YOU.

TELL HER I'M VERY ILL.

I'M VERY ILL INDEED.

"HUGH MEYERS."

IT'S HUGH MEYERS! SHOW HIM IN AT ONCE.

THAT'S SPLENDID. IS IT POSSIBLE HE'S HEARD THE NEWS?

COULD CHARLES HAVE CABLED HIM?

NO, NO, BUT THESE MILLIONAIRES

KNOW EVERYTHING BY A SORT OF INSTINCT.

IF HE'S COME TO TELL US, DON'T SPOIL HIS EFFECT. DON'T TELL HIM.

I'LL SPRING IT ON HIM LATER.

AH, MR. MEYERS, DELIGHTED TO SEE YOU. GOOD MORNING.

GOOD MORNING.

HOW DO YOU DO, MR. MEYERS?

LADY CLARISSA PEVENSEY YOU KNOW.

WE'RE HAPPY WE--

CAN I HAVE A FEW MOMENTS IN PRIVATE WITH YOU, SIR?

OH, THESE LADIES--

FORGIVE ME IF I INSIST.

WHY, OF COURSE.

MARY.

YOU'LL STAY TO LUNCHEON?

I'M SORRY. THAT ISN'T POSSIBLE,

BUT THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

COME, CLARISSA.

WELL, MR. MEYERS, I WAS JUST ABOUT TO SEND YOU--

ONE MOMENT, SIR.

I WANT YOU TO HEAR ME FIRST.

WHAT I HAVE TO SAY...

WELL...SIT DOWN. SIT DOWN.

WELL?

I DON'T KNOW HOW TO TELL YOU.

IT'S SO MUCH HARDER THAN I EXPECTED.

COME, COME. TELL ME.

MR. DISRAELI, I...I...

I AM BANKRUPT.

WHAT? I DIDN'T QUITE CATCH.

OUR HOUSE IS BANKRUPT.

BANKRUPT? MEYERS BANKRUPT?

ARE YOU MAD?

I WISH TO GOD I WERE.

YOU MEAN YOU'RE TEMPORARILY PRESSED,

YOU'RE IN TEMPORARY DIFFICULTIES.

I MEAN WE ARE BANKRUPT.

BUT THAT THING'S IMPOSSIBLE!

IT'S THE TRUTH.

A HOUSE LIKE YOURS, AN HISTORICAL FIRM--

YOU MIGHT AS WELL SAY THE BANK OF ENGLAND!

SO I SHOULD HAVE DONE.

WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN DOING?

STOP! IT'S NOT OUR FAULT.

WELL.

FIRST, THE SHIP WITH THE BULLION FROM THE ARGENTINE...

YES?

GONE DOWN.

WHAT?

SCUTTLED.

YOU MEAN...

I MEAN PURPOSELY AND CRIMINALLY SUNK!

ALL THE CREW SAVED. A CONSPIRACY.

IT WILL TAKE WEEKS AND MONTHS TO RECOVER THE INSURANCE,

AND THAT IS NOT ALL, ALAS.

FOR A LONG TIME, EVER SINCE OUR INTERVIEW IN DOWNING STREET,

RUMORS AFFECTING MY CREDIT HAVE BEEN SPREAD ABROAD.

AND NOW THIS MYSTERIOUS WRECK. I'M BEING PRESSED.

I SEE.

SOME ENORMOUS POWER HAS BEEN WORKING IN THE DARK.

MY LIABILITIES HAVE BEEN BOUGHT UP--

ARGH!

BE AS ANGRY AS YOU LIKE. YOU'RE JUSTIFIED.

I'VE BEEN AN HONEST MAN ALL OF MY LIFE,

AND NOW I COME BEFORE YOU IN THE LIGHT OF A COMMON CHEAT. OH!

MR. MEYERS...

I KNOW YOU, SIR.

TELL ME. YOU SAY SOME POWER IS BEHIND THIS.

WHOM DO YOU MEAN?

I DON'T KNOW. THEY'RE WORKING THROUGH AN AGENT.

BUT WHO IS THAT?

SAMUEL LOUIS.

THE GREAT SOLICITOR? YES.

DOES ANYBODY ELSE KNOW?

NOT A LIVING SOUL.

I'VE COME TO YOU FIRST BECAUSE, OF COURSE,

WE CANNOT CARRY OUT THE CANAL CONTRACT.

THANK HEAVEN I'M IN TIME.

THANK HEAVEN THAT HAS NOT...

GONE THROUGH.

WHEN WILL IT BE KNOWN, MEYERS?

WHEN WILL IT BE KNOWN?

TONIGHT, TOMORROW MORNING.

BY THE LORD, IT SHALL NOT!

GET BACK TO TOWN QUICKLY.

GET TO YOUR OFFICE. STAY THERE. I MUST KNOW YOU'RE THERE.

DON'T BUDGE. I'M GOING TO KEEP YOU THERE ALL NIGHT.

BUT-- AND DON'T BREATHE A WORD OF THIS.

DON'T TELL ANYONE ELSE.

DON'T GIVE THE SLIGHTEST HINT OF ANYTHING UNUSUAL.

TREAT THE WRECK LIGHTLY.

WATCH YOUR WORDS. WATCH YOUR LOOKS.

SOMETHING MAY HAPPEN. SOMETHING SHALL HAPPEN.

WHAT, SIR, WHAT?

GOD KNOWS.

GOD KNOWS.

MR. DISRAELI--

YES. YES.

MARY.

MARY!

YES, DEAR?

I WANT YOU.

WHAT IS IT?

MARY, YOU STOOD BY ME

IN MANY HORRIBLE PREDICAMENTS.

I'M IN THE WORST I WAS EVER IN.

DIZZY!

MEYERS.

MEYERS IS BANKRUPT.

DOES THAT MEAN WE ARE POOR?

NO. NO. OH, IF THAT WERE ALL!

THEN?

MEYERS WAS FINDING THE MONEY FOR THE CANAL.

WAIT. DEEFORD HAS PASSED THE CHECK.

NOW MEYERS HAS FAILED, WE CAN'T PAY.

AND YOU?

I?

YES, DEAR. I WANT TO KNOW HOW THIS WILL AFFECT YOU.

OH. WHAT DOES THAT MATTER?

IT'S ALL THAT MATTERS TO ME.

I HADN'T THOUGHT OF THAT.

WHAT WILL HAPPEN TO ME?

DISGRACE. I COULDN'T DEAL WITH PEOPLE.

THE KIND OF DISGRACE NO MAN CAN BEAR,

NO MAN CAN LIVE THROUGH.

DIZZY!

YES! BY HEAVEN, I WILL BEAR IT!

I'LL FACE THE NATION. I'LL BEAR IT ALONE.

NOT ALONE, DEAR.

THANK GOD FOR YOU, MARY.

THANK GOD FOR YOU.

HAVE YOU DONE ANYTHING YET?

THIS SOON? WHAT COULD I DO?

SHOULDN'T WE GO UP TO TOWN?

I CAN'T. I DAREN'T. I CAN'T MOVE SECRETLY.

THE PRIME MINISTER CAN'T STIR

WITHOUT SETTING THE WHOLE WORLD AGOG.

THE PAPERS HAVE SAID I'M ILL.

IF I WAS SEEN IN DOWNING STREET NOW,

DURING THE RECESS WHEN I'M SUPPOSED TO BE ILL,

EVERY NEWSPAPER IN THE WORLD WOULD GO HYSTERICAL.

IT'S HORRIBLE, MARY. I'M BOUND HAND AND FOOT.

MRS. TRAVERS.

WHAT?

MRS. TRAVERS IN A STATION CAB, SIR.

I'LL GET RID OF HER.

GET RID OF HER? ASK HER TO WAIT.

SHOW HER IN, AND I'LL RING.

SURELY YOU'LL NOT RECEIVE HER NOW.

WE MUST KEEP HER HERE. WHY?

SHE MUST STAY HERE. WE MUSTN'T LET HER OUT OF OUR SIGHT.

DIZZY, WHAT IS THIS PLAY-ACTING?

I'M ILL... VERY ILL.

THE NEWSPAPERS HAVE SAID I'M ILL.

SHE SHALL SEE THE SICKEST MAN SHE EVER SAW IN HER LIFE.

MRS. TRAVERS IS HERE. SHALL I SEND HER AWAY?

NO, NO, NO.

CHAIN HER... HAND AND FOOT.

BUT, MR. DISRAELI--

SHH.

I'M ILL.

VERY ILL.

MRS. TRAVERS.

AH, DEAR LADY BEACONSFIELD.

I'M SO SORRY. I HEARD MR. DISRAELI WAS ILL.

I DIDN'T KNOW WHETHER TO COME OR NOT.

I'M SURE YOU CAN'T WANT TO SEE ME.

IS THAT MRS. TRAVERS, DEAR?

Mary: YES, DEAR.

OH. HEH HEH HEH.

DEAR MRS. TRAVERS... IT'S SO GOOD OF YOU.

I'M VERY WEAK... VERY WEAK.

I'M SO SORRY. WHAT IS THE MATTER?

WELL, I'M... I'M VERY WEAK...

BUT I'M VERY GLAD TO SEE YOU.

YOU'RE SO BRIGHT. YOU'RE SO YOUNG. YOU'RE SO...

HOW'S YOUR POOR HUSBAND?

STILL ABROAD... IN SEARCH OF HEALTH, YOU KNOW.

VERY SAD.

AND YOU'VE COME TO SEE THE POOR SICK MAN.

ISN'T IT GOOD OF HER, MARY?

YES, DEAR.

DO SIT DOWN... THERE...

WHERE I CAN SEE YOU.

MISS CLARISSA, MORE BEAUTIFUL EVERY DAY.

I SAW THE DEAR DUCHESS, YOUR MOTHER, YESTERDAY.

SHE SEEMS VERY ANXIOUS ABOUT LORD DEEFORD.

HE'S ABROAD, TOO, ISN'T HE?

UH, EGYPT OR SOMEWHERE.

YES, HE IS ABROAD.

YES, HE IS IN EGYPT.

I DO HOPE HE'S NOT TOO ADVENTURESOME.

CAIRO IS SUCH A DREADFUL PLACE.

THOSE ORIENTALS, YOU KNOW--ONE CAN NEVER TRUST THEM.

NO.

SO SLY.

YES.

AND DECEITFUL.

AH. DEAR SYMPATHETIC CREATURE.

ISN'T SHE SYMPATHETIC, MARY?

YES, DEAR.

BUT DON'T BE UNEASY.

WE'VE JUST HEARD FROM DEEFORD.

INDEED?

MARY.

YES, DEAR?

ISN'T IT TIME I HAD MY BEEF TEA?

YOU SAY YOU HAVE HEARD?

HMM?

OH, MRS. TRAVERS... OH, FROM DEEFORD?

OH, YES. WE HAD A TELEGRAM.

[COUGHS]

WHERE IS THAT TELEGRAM, MARY?

ON THE TABLE, DEAR.

HELP ME UP, DEAR.

WHY, THERE IT IS, UNDER THE PAPERWEIGHT.

READ IT FOR YOURSELF, MRS. TRAVERS.

HEAVENS! HOW PALE I AM.

"THE CELERY IS RIPE TO CUT." HEH HEH. HOW ODD.

YES. WHY ODD?

WELL, THAT ANYONE SHOULD CABLE ALL THE WAY FROM EGYPT ABOUT CELERY.

WELL, YOU KNOW,

HE'S ENGAGED IN A VERY INTERESTING AGRICULTURAL EXPERIMENT.

YOU REMEMBER, WE WERE DISCUSSING THAT VERY SUBJECT AT THE GARDEN PARTY?

OH, YES! AND WHAT A DELIGHTFUL PARTY THAT WAS.

AND ALL THESE PERSONS-- LORD DEEFORD IN EGYPT, POOR MR. DISRAELI VERY ILL,

SIR MICHAEL PROBERT OUT OF TOWN.

PROBERT!

I BEG YOUR PARDON?

A TWINGE.

THANK YOU SO MUCH. I'VE BEEN TRYING TO REMEMBER HIS NAME ALL DAY.

PROBERT. OF COURSE.

OH!

IS THAT ONE OF THE FAMOUS PEACOCKS?

YES. DIZZY'S VERY PROUD OF THEM-- AND OF THE SWANS.

I'VE HEARD SO MUCH ABOUT THEM. MAY I HAVE A LOOK AT THEM?

YES.

HE'S GIVEN THEM SUCH FUNNY NAMES.

SHE HAS THE CODE. DON'T LET HER READ IT.

FOLLOW HER. STICK TO HER.

[CHUCKLING]

I'LL SHOW YOU THEIR HOUSES.

OH, PLEASE DON'T TROUBLE.

NO TROUBLE.

MARY.

YES, DEAR?

YOU KNOW THE PROBERT COUNTRY PLACE?

YOU CAN DRIVE THERE IN 3 MINUTES.

I WANT YOU TO FETCH HIM AT ONCE.

I'LL ORDER THE CARRIAGE.

WAIT.

IS MRS. TRAVERS' CAB STILL THERE?

YES.

WELL, YOU CAN TAKE THAT.

BUT IF HE REFUSES TO COME?

YOU TELL HIM IT'S A MATTER OF LIFE AND DEATH.

BUT MRS. TRAVERS--

MARY! YES, DEAR?

TAKE CLARISSA WITH YOU. I WANT THAT WOMAN ALONE.

THAT MUST BE SIGNED.

[WOMEN GIGGLING]

YES, THEY ARE BEAUTIFUL-- AND SO TAME.

I'M SO GLAD YOU LIKED THEM.

DO COME AND SIT DOWN.

BUT I REALLY OUGHT TO BE GOING.

OH, NO. DO SIT DOWN.

LADY BEACONSFIELD AND CLARISSA HAVE TO GO AND MEET THE SPECIALIST.

WE SHALL BE GONE ONLY A VERY FEW MOMENTS.

COME, CLARISSA.

SPECIALIST? OH, ARE YOU SO ILL?

YEAH, BUT HE'LL CURE ME. HE'LL CURE ME.

AND YOU SHALL STAY AND NURSE THE POOR SICK MAN.

I'M DREADFULLY SORRY, BUT--

OH, YOU MUST STAY...

TILL THEY COME BACK.

BUT MY CAB IS WAITING.

NO. I SENT THAT AWAY.

REALLY?

NOW, DON'T BE ANGRY.

WHAT A DAINTY HAND.

SUCH SUPPLE FINGERS...

SO LONG AND THIN...

SO EXQUISITELY SHAPED.

OH, PLEASE.

THEY'RE SO QUICK TO GRASP THINGS--

UNCONSIDERED TRIFLE,

SCRAPS OF PAPER.

OH, LET ME GO. YOU'RE HURTING ME.

YOU'RE IN SUCH A HURRY TO GET AWAY FROM THE POOR SICK MAN?

TO GET AWAY AND READ...

THE CODE?

WELL, WHAT OF IT?

AH. THAT'S BETTER. THAT'S HOW I REMEMBER YOU.

REMEMBER ME?

SO STRANGE...

WHEN WE FIRST MET AT THE DUKE OF GLASTONBURY'S,

I REMEMBERED YOU, BUT I COULDN'T PLACE YOU.

I CONNECTED YOU WITH SOMETHING BLUE AND WHITE.

MILK AND WATER?

NO. SNOW AND WATER.

MONT BLANC AND THE LAKE OF GENEVA.

GENEVA IN THE SIXTIES.

RUSSIAN REFUGEES AND THEIR ENGLISH SYMPATHIZERS.

A MAN CALLED LUMLEY AND HIS RAVISHING-- SHALL I SAY, WIFE?

NO. COMRADE... THAT WAS THE TERM.

CHARMING RELATIONSHIP, DELIGHTFUL COUPLE,

SO GOOD TO THE UNHAPPY EXILES,

BUT PEOPLE ARE CRUEL.

THEY SAY THE GOOD MR. LUMLEY AND HIS CHARMING COMRADE WERE AGENTS--

DECOYS IN RUSSIAN PAY ENGAGED IN WORMING OUT THE SECRETS OF THE REFUGEES

AND TEMPTING THEM BACK TO RUSSIA, TO SIBERIA... TO DEATH.

OH!

AND, PRAY, WHAT HAS ALL THIS TO DO WITH ME?

AH. WHAT INDEED?

WITH YOU, THE FRIEND OF DUKES AND BANKERS.

GOOD MR. LUMLEY AND HIS CHARMING COMRADE WERE DRIVEN OUT OF GENEVA

BY THE SLANDERERS.

AND WHERE DO YOU THINK I SAW HIM NEXT?

IN DOWNING STREET.

HE HAD CHANGED HIS NAME TO FOLJAMBE.

I WAS SO SORRY FOR HIM THAT I GAVE HIM WORK.

BUT YOU DID MORE. YOU GAVE HIM INSTRUCTION...

[TAPPING TABLE]

TO HURRY TO TRIESTE.

NOW DO I KNOW YOU, DEAR MRS. LUMLEY TRAVERS FOLJAMBE?

WELL... AND WHAT NEXT?

ADMIRATION.

PROFOUND ADMIRATION...

UNTIL THIS MOMENT.

TODAY YOU'VE DISAPPOINTED ME.

WHY STEAL THAT?

WEAK...VERY WEAK.

YOU HAD ONLY TO ASK ME, AND I WOULD HAVE TOLD YOU.

"THE CELERY IS RIPE TO CUT" MEANS THE SUEZ CANAL PURCHASE IS COMPLETED

AND THE CHECK ACCEPTED.

HA HA HA!

POOR DEAR LUMLEY HAS HAD ALL THAT TIRESOME JOURNEY FOR NOTHING.

HA HA HA!

I CONGRATULATE YOU.

YOUR APPLE-FACED BOY HAS FLOUNDERED INTO SUCCESS.

WELL, THAT'S ALL ANY OF US DO, MRS. TRAVERS.

A SUCCESS THAT WILL COST YOU DEAR.

THAT'S THE SORT OF THING GLADSTONE WILL SAY.

IT'S WHAT THE WORLD WILL SAY WHEN IT KNOWS THAT MEYERS IS BANKRUPT.

WHEN IT KNOWS WHAT?

MEYERS IS BANKRUPT, BANKRUPT, BANKRUPT.

MRS. TRAVERS, I-- I'M VERY WEAK.

DON'T--DON'T JEST WITH ME.

MEYERS IS BANKRUPT, AND HIS CHECK, WASTEPAPER.

WAIT, WAIT.

IT'S EASY FOR YOU TO TELL ME THIS,

BUT WHY SHOULD I BELIEVE YOU?

BECAUSE IT WAS MY INVENTION.

YOU THOUGHT TO CIRCUMVENT ME

WITH YOUR APPLE-FACED BOY.

HA HA HA! WHAT DO YOU SAY NOW, MR. DISRAELI?

YOU CAN'T EXPECT ME TO SAY MUCH.

I AM A CHILD IN YOUR HANDS.

OH, MR. DISRAELI,

I'M SORRY TO HEAR THAT YOU ARE ILL.

I'M SO MUCH BETTER.

MRS. TRAVERS' STIMULATING COMPANY--

SIR MICHAEL PROBERT.

Probert: HOW DO YOU DO?

BUT HE'S NOT A--

A SPECIALIST?

OH, YES, HE IS.

WHY, WHAT'S GOING ON?

IF YOU'RE NOT ILL, WHY HAVE YOU SENT FOR ME?

PROBERT, SIT DOWN.

I WANT TO TELL YOU A LITTLE STORY.

NO, DON'T GO, MRS. TRAVERS.

THIS MAY INTEREST YOU, TOO.

I REPEAT, WHY HAVE YOU SENT FOR ME?

I TOLD YOU I MIGHT SEND FOR YOU.

WHEN? WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

WHEN WE HAD OUR LAST DELIGHTFUL INTERVIEW.

HA HA! I THOUGHT AS MUCH. YOUR HAREBRAINED SCHEME.

MOSES HAS FAILED YOU, AND YOU HAD TO GIVE IT UP.

WELL, IT'S NO USE APPEALING TO ME.

MOSES HAS NOT FAILED ME,

AND I'VE CARRIED THE SCHEME THROUGH.

WHAT?

DO YOU MEAN TO TELL ME THAT YOU HAVE PURCHASED THE SUEZ CANAL?

THE POWER AND THE GLORY OF MY COUNTRY WERE AT STAKE.

I HAD TO ACT QUICKLY, AND I HAD TO ACT ON MY OWN RESPONSIBILITY.

THEN LET ME TELL YOU, SIR, YOU HAVE COMMITTED A CRIME.

PARLIAMENT WAS NOT SITTING TO VOTE THE MONEY.

I HAD TO SEEK IT ELSEWHERE.

5 MILLION STERLING. YOU REFUSED ME.

I DID, AND I'M PROUD OF IT.

SO I WENT TO THE WEALTHIEST PRIVATE FIRM--TO HUGH MEYERS.

HA! A JEW.

MEYERS NOT BEING A PARTY MAN BUT A PATRIOT

SAW THE GREATNESS OF THE IDEA AND STOOD BY ME.

I SENT DEEFORD TO ISMAIL.

SPIES GOT WIND OF WHAT I WAS DOING AND RUSSIA KNEW,

SO DEEFORD HAD TO GO IN A HURRY,

A RACE FOR AN EMPIRE.

HE HAS SUCCEEDED. UNDERSTAND ME?

I PUT THE MATTER QUITE SIMPLY.

DEEFORD HAS BOUGHT THE CANAL

AND HAS PAID FOR IT WITH MEYERS' CHECK DRAWN ON THE BANK OF ENGLAND.

WAIT!

MEANWHILE, RUSSIA HAS BEEN AT WORK BY THE INTERMEDIARY

OF ONE OF THE MOST CHARMING WOMEN OF MY ACQUAINTANCE.

MEYERS IS BANKRUPT.

WHAT?

YES. RUSSIA HAS RUINED HIM.

MR. DISRAELI, I WARNED YOU OF THIS.

I FORESAW IT. YOUR HIGH-HANDED ACTION

HAS LANDED YOU JUST WHERE I SAID IT WOULD.

YOU MUST GET OUT OF IT AS BEST YOU CAN.

IT'S NO USE APPEALING TO ME.

NO? THEN I WILL NOT APPEAL TO YOU.

I WILL COMMAND YOU.

WHAT?

YOU WILL SIGN THIS NOTE GIVING MEYERS UNLIMITED CREDIT.

I? ARE YOU MAD?

I WAS NEVER MORE SANE IN MY LIFE.

IF MEYERS' POSITION IS SAVED, WE CAN GAIN TIME.

THE BANK OF ENGLAND MUST GIVE HIM UNLIMITED CREDIT

TODAY, NOW.

YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE SAYING.

YOU DON'T KNOW TO WHOM YOU'RE SPEAKING.

I REFUSE-- YOU CAN'T!

I REFUSE EMPHATICALLY.

YOU HAVE MISTAKEN YOUR MAN.

I AM AN ENGLISHMAN, THE HEAD OF A GREAT NATIONAL INSTITUTION,

AND I AM NOT TO BE ORDERED ABOUT BY A...BY AN ALIEN!

A JEW.

THE ALIEN, THE JEW, HAPPENS TO BE THE BETTER CITIZEN.

MOREOVER, HE HAPPENS TO BE PRIME MINISTER.

DO YOU THREATEN ME?

YES, IF YOU'LL FORCE ME TO IT.

OH, EMPTY THREATS.

YOU THINK SO?

YOU SAY THE BANK IS A NATIONAL INSTITUTION?

WHAT BECOMES OF THAT TITLE IF IT REFUSES TO SAVE THE NATION?

WHAT BECOMES OF YOU--

MR. DISRAELI.

WHEN IT IS KNOWN THAT THE LACK OF PATRIOTISM OF ONE MAN

HAS PLACED OUR COUNTRY IN THE POSITION OF A PERSON

WHO IS TRYING TO PASS A FRAUDULENT CHECK?

EXPOSED THE NATION TO THE RIDICULE OF THE WORLD,

LOST THE CANAL, LOST INDIA,

BAFFLED ENGLAND, BEAT HER, DISGRACED HER,

DRAGGED HER THROUGH THE MUD!

WHAT BECOMES OF THE BANK?

YOU CAN'T TOUCH THE BANK.

I'LL SMASH THE BANK!

PARLIAMENT GRANTED THE BANK ITS CHARTER.

PARLIAMENT CAN WITHDRAW IT

AND SHALL WITHDRAW IT AT MY BIDDING.

YOUR BOARD OF DIRECTORS WILL BE SWEPT AWAY,

YOUR SHAREHOLDERS BANKRUPTED, THE BANK RUINED,

AND YOU DISGRACED!

I AM PRIME MINISTER. I CAN DO THIS,

AND IF YOU DON'T SIGN, BY GOD, I WILL.

NOW.

THERE.

TAKE THE PAPER.

I'VE SIGNED IT.

I'VE SIGNED IT TO SAVE THE BANK.

IT'S AN OUTRAGE

THAT A MAN LIKE YOU SHOULD HAVE SUCH POWER.

OH, MR. DISRAELI, THANK GOD YOU HAVE SUCH POWER.

I HAVEN'T, DEAR CHILD, BUT HE DOESN'T KNOW THAT.

OH!

[LAUGHTER]

SHE MUST ON NO ACCOUNT BE DISTURBED.

LET HER SLEEP AS LONG AS POSSIBLE.

YES, SIR.

WELL?

I CAN'T TELL.

I'M VERY HOPEFUL OF THE RESULT OF THIS DEEP SLEEP,

BUT I CAN'T SAY ANYTHING MORE AT PRESENT.

I CAN'T GO. I CAN'T LEAVE HER LIKE THIS.

MR. DISRAELI, I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL, BUT YOU MUST GO.

I FEEL BOUND TO REMIND YOU THAT QUEEN VICTORIA IS GOING TO ATTEND YOUR RECEPTION IN PERSON.

THAT IS AN HONOR SHE HAS NEVER BEFORE PAID TO A PRIME MINISTER.

ALL THE COURT WILL BE THERE. EVERY COUNTRY IN THE WORLD WILL BE REPRESENTED,

AND ALL TO PAY HOMAGE TO YOU.

MARY WON'T BE THERE.

YOU KNOW SHE ALWAYS LOVED PEOPLE TO FLATTER ME.

AND ALL ENGLAND WILL BE AT YOUR FEET TONIGHT.

MARY WON'T BE THERE.

I PROMISED HER THAT WE WOULD MEET THE QUEEN HAND IN HAND.

HOW CAN I GO THROUGH WITH IT?

THE GLITTER, THE MUSIC, THE DANCING,

AND WORST OF ALL... THE CONGRATULATIONS,

ALONE.

YOU'VE ALWAYS BEEN A FIGHTER, MR. DISRAELI.

IF IT WERE POSSIBLE FOR YOU TO STAY, I WOULD ADVISE IT.

BUT YOU CANNOT BREAK FAITH WITH HER MAJESTY.

THE QUEEN WOULD UNDERSTAND, AND PARLIAMENT,

BUT YOU ARE RIGHT.

I CANNOT BREAK FAITH WITH THE NATION.

I MUST GO.

IF THERE'S ANY CHANGE FOR THE WORSE,

I'LL SEND YOU A TELEGRAM, AND YOU CAN BE HOME IN A FEW HOURS.

HOME.

WITHOUT HER... I HAVE NO HOME.

WHEN SHE WAKES, GIVE HER THIS...

FROM ME.

WHAT A DAY THIS HAS BEEN FOR DIZZY, EH, MELINDA?

IT'S ALL VERY ASTONISHING.

THEY SAY THE QUEEN IS DELIGHTED WITH HER NEW TITLE, EMPRESS OF INDIA,

AND HOW DISRAELI SWAYED THE HOUSE WHEN HE ANNOUNCED THE NEW TITLE.

EVEN GLADSTONE WAS TOUCHED.

DIZZY IS A GREAT MAN.

OH, FATHER, SO YOU'VE COME ROUND TO THAT AT LAST.

WELL, THERE'S NO USE DENYING IT NOW.

I NEVER DENIED HIS GREATNESS.

WELL, MEYERS, ON YOUR LEGS AGAIN.

THANKS TO YOU, SIR MICHAEL.

YES, YES.

GREAT PATRIOTIC IDEA.

DIZZY AND I TALKED IT OVER LONG BEFORE YOU CAME INTO IT.

SO HE TOLD ME.

AND THE BANK, AS A GREAT PATRIOTIC INSTITUTION, COULDN'T LET IT DROP.

HOW FORTUNATE YOU SAW IT IN THAT LIGHT.

GLAD TO HELP YOU. GLAD TO HELP YOU.

MR. MEYERS.

LADY CLARISSA.

THE VISCOUNT DEEFORD HAS COME HOME?

YES, BUT THINK OF IT-- I'VE NOT BEEN ALLOWED TO SEE HIM YET.

TOO BAD. TOO BAD. WHY NOT?

WELL, HE ONLY ARRIVED HALF AN HOUR AGO

AND HAD TO COME STRAIGHT TO DOWNING STREET.

NATURALLY.

THEY SAY LADY BEACONSFIELD IS ILL.

MR. MEYERS, I'M DREADFULLY ANXIOUS.

NOTHING SERIOUS, I HOPE?

I DON'T KNOW. I DON'T KNOW.

AND I DAREN'T ASK MR. DISRAELI.

HER ABSENCE TONIGHT IS SUCH A HORRIBLE DISAPPOINTMENT FOR HIM.

OF COURSE, OF COURSE.

MR. DISRAELI'S HERE. MR. DISRAELI'S HERE.

DISRAELI'S COMING.

MR. DISRAELI'S COMING.

[TALKING STOPS]

DEAR MR. DISRAELI.

LADY PROBERT. CHARMED. CHARMED.

SO SORRY DEAREST LADY BEACONSFIELD CANNOT BE HERE TONIGHT.

SO IS SHE, AND SO AM I.

SO AM I.

NO DOUBT ONLY A PASSING INDISPOSITION.

I TRUST SO.

MY DEAR CHILD.

HOW IS SHE, REALLY?

DON'T ASK ME.

I DAREN'T TRUST MYSELF TO SPEAK.

I AM HORRIBLY ANXIOUS.

DR. WILLIAMS REASSURED ME

OR I SHOULDN'T BE HERE NOW,

NOT EVEN TO MEET THE EMPRESS OF INDIA.

[TRUMPET FANFARE PLAYS]

HER MAJESTY IS ON HER WAY.

BEFORE SHE ARRIVES,

I WANT TO THANK THOSE MEN WHO HAVE SO SPLENDIDLY STOOD AT MY SIDE

AND MADE OUR ENTERPRISE SUCCESSFUL.

FIRST THERE IS MY FRIEND MR. HUGH MEYERS.

MR. MEYERS...

CONCERNING WHOSE SERVICES I CANNOT SPEAK TOO HIGHLY.

NEXT THERE IS SIR MICHAEL PROBERT.

AT A MOMENT OF GRAVE CRISIS, HE CAME TO MY AID AGAINST HIS--

SHALL I SAY, UH, PREJUDICES.

MR. MEYERS, SIR MICHAEL PROBERT,

IT IS MY PRIVILEGE TO INFORM YOU THAT IN RECOGNITION OF YOUR PATRIOTIC ACTION,

YOUR SOVEREIGN HAS BESTOWED A PEERAGE UPON EACH OF YOU.

MY CONGRATULATIONS.

THANK YOU.

MAY I ADD MINE?

YOUR GRACE IS MOST KIND.

LASTLY, YOU WILL BE GLAD TO KNOW THAT MY YOUNG FRIEND,

WHO CARRIED THROUGH THESE DELICATE NEGOTIATIONS WITH SUCH CONSUMMATE TACT--

I REFER TO CHARLES VISCOUNT DEEFORD--

ARRIVED IN LONDON HALF AN HOUR AGO.

Man: VISCOUNT DEEFORD!

AHH.

CHARLES.

OUR MAJESTY DESIRES TO CONFER THE RIBBON OF THE BATH UPON YOU

WITH HER OWN HANDS.

CLARISSA.

CHARLES.

MY DEAR.

OH, HANG ALL THESE PEOPLE.

WHY DIDN'T YOU COME EARLIER?

WELL, I HAD TO SEE DIZZY AND GET INTO THIS RIG.

MY DEAR MR. MEYERS.

I BEG YOUR PARDON, SIR, BUT THIS TELEGRAM HAS BEEN WAITING.

CHARLES, I'M FRIGHTENED.

LADY BEACONSFIELD HAS BEEN VERY ILL.

YOU DON'T MEAN...

IT MAY BE... NEWS OF HER DEATH.

DIZZY?

MARY.

I DIDN'T KNOW.

BUT THE DOCTOR SENT YOU A TELEGRAM, DEAR.

YOU'RE--

[GOD SAVE THE KING PLAYING]

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CAPTIONING PERFORMED BY THE NATIONAL CAPTIONING INSTITUTE, INC.

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