Original subtitles

Leave me alone.

Are you coming or what?

What? I have work to do. I'm not in holidays.

Are you kidding me? I work too.

-I have exams too. -Hey!

Every weekend I bust my ass waiting tables

to put you through your 10 years of med school.

Come on, let's party! It's New Year's Eve!

Computer confiscated!

Florence! Give me that!

Come and get it!

Too slow, loser!

Excuse me, I'm sorry.

Open up!

-Flo! Give me my computer! -No!

No, Florence! Cut the crap.

Give it back to me!

Idiot!

What an idiot!

Happy New Year!

Happy New Year, bitch!

15 YEARS LATER

I know this story by heart.

I delivered the twins but the lady won't relax.

She was high on anesthesia.

She was in a total panic...

She kept crying and crying, totally in tears.

I was afraid she'd have... a syncope or convulsions.

I tried to calm her.

She has the twins. I show them to her.

I say: "They're fine. Calm down. It all went well."

She sits up, grabs my smock and says:

"But who's the father?"

-That's not it. -Yes.

"Who's the father of the second one?"

The father of the second one.

That's funny.

What a lousy joke. It sounds like one of Paul's.

That's nice.

Take that!

It's a true story, not a joke.

She was totally under the effect of the anesthesia.

Combination of things.

It can be hilarious.

He told it badly so it bombed.

Forgive me.

-Coffee? -Decaf, please.

No, Florence!

Just one cigarette.

Paul? Coffee?

Yes, I'd love one.

Tell me about Greece.

They need a deposit for that house in Paros.

Yeah.

Yeah, but I...

It may be a little tough this summer.

You don't get time off?

-No, that's not it. -You scared me.

We're divorcing.

What?

Vincent and I are separating.

Very funny.

I'm laughing because you are, but it's true.

We made the decision. We didn't mention it...

because of lots of reasons, but we've made up our minds.

But everything's fine.

We both agree.

In fact we made the decision last year because we realized...

-It was during vacation. -Yes.

We finally managed to get away together.

The kids were at my mom's.

Yes, and...

-And we realized... -Yeah, we felt that...

-We'd become friends. -Yes.

-I don't get it. -How can I explain?

-We get along just fine. -Yes.

-As much in common as ever. -Yeah...

-No more fights. -True.

-We never fight anymore. -You're right.

-You miss that. -I do.

We refuse to become like those couples...

Oh yeah, no thanks...

Those couples who pretend to talk, pretend to listen...

-Nothing happens anymore. -Like roommates.

Who make love once a...

-A month. -If that.

You know the type.

-We prefer the Beatles to the Stones. -Yes, well put.

-That's right. -Yes.

-We won't go on that one tour too many. -No.

There you go...

In fact we're keeping it light.

-It's part of life. -It's part of life.

How about the kids?

Honestly...

-As well as possible. -Yes.

They're pretty...

-Pretty incredible. -Yes.

They're amazing.

Amazing kids, but even more...

You're a great example. Even in separation, even in divorce...

you're a class act.

It makes divorce sound tempting.

-Drive safely. -Yes, thank you.

-Bye. -Goodnight.

So long.

-Drive safely. -Sure.

Bye!

Fuck.

Time to tell the kids.

I don't know why... it just came out.

Don't worry. It'll be fine.

-Think so? -Don't worry.

It'll be just fine.

How dumb of me.

I don't like your shoes on the dashboard.

Thanks.

Hello, Élodie.

-Hi. -Hello, ma'am.

-I'm going to bed. -All right.

Thanks for staying so late.

Don't worry. I'll clean up.

-Here you go. -Thanks.

Sorry but I can't pick up Julien at chess tomorrow.

Darn.

And I can't come Thursday.

And Friday?

Nope.

Or Monday or Tuesday, or any other day.

What's going on?

It's your kids.

What about them?

I... think I hate them.

What an imbecile.

We're screwed!

-We'll manage. -Yeah? How?

I have my Paris chief, a safety commission.

You're on duty.

Henry can replace me. I'll get Julien.

Sure, sorry.

I'm stressed out. I must be a pain.

Total pain in the ass.

When do we tell them?

Tomorrow night?

Don't worry.

It'll be fine.

But I can't get the light with my foot.

Hold on...

Thanks.

-Goodnight. -Goodnight.

Come on...

Time to wake up, honey.

Not in the morning.

-Mom... -Yes?

-I have no breasts. -What?

No breasts.

You're 12, sweetie.

Corinne wears size 42A.

She got left back.

Will I get your breasts?

No idea.

We'll discuss it tonight. I'm in a rush.

If I don't get my period by 13, I'll kill myself.

All right, come on.

Have a nice day, honey.

Julien?

-What is it? -He, not it... It's Transformer.

-It transforms? -No, he's from Science lab.

Ow, all right...

-Keeping him? -Yeah, do you mind?

No, I don't know.

I have to...

Watch out!

I'm sorry.

See you tonight. Love you.

Yeah, right. See you.

Get up, Mathias. It's 7.

Yeah, okay.

I'm off.

Remember Julien's snack for chess.

The note is in his backpack.

And give Mathias a check for the cafeteria...

and one for Emma's dental appointment at 5:15.

I put the insurance card on the table.

Can you stop by the supermarket too?

The list is on the fridge.

Have a nice day!

Good morning.

When did her water break?

-Move! -Shut up.

-Move! -Shut up! Stop busting my balls.

-You have enough room, fatso. -Stop it.

Dad, he won't move!

-Be nice, kids. -Can't you shut up?

And her blood pressure and cervical dilation?

Stop pissing me off!

Cervical dilation!

Go ahead. I was talking to the kids.

Now I lost my page!

Shut up!

-Dad, stop him! -Quiet, Mathias.

I'm not talking to you!

Cut it out! Enough, please!

Not you, Sabine.

Move forward, asshole!

Call Mathias, no, the anesthesiologist.

Start the epidural and...

I'll call you back... I can't now. I'll call back.

Hey! Uncool!

You're two years older than her, can't you set an example?

Martial arts doesn't teach self-control?

Krav-maga isn't martial.

Shut your face too.

Stop here. I can't be seen in your old-fart mobile.

Gee, thanks a lot.

Don't drop me off in front.

Pull over. It takes you fucking forever.

-Family talk tonight. -I'm seeing Leo.

No, we need to talk.

I'll get out too.

Fine, miss. That's what taxis are for.

Buy me a moped. You won't have to drive. Bye.

Come up front, Julien.

No, just drive.

Mr. Coutine, hello.

-Hello. -Xavier Pilot. We spoke on the phone.

Welcome to the Normandy Wind Farm.

Florence Leroy, head engineer.

Mr. Coutine...

-Miss. -Mrs.

Already married? How old are you, twenty?

-Sixteen. -I love humor. No kids I hope?

No, not at my age.

Very funny. I love it. Come on.

Little Leroy is funny.

I'll go first.

You're cute, but don't weigh me down.

Excuse me?

An inspection is not a tour. I need my space.

No hat. You coming?

-Is he a prick or is it me? -It's not you.

The cervix is at 9, the head is down. Won't be long.

-You paged me? -Henry...

I forgot about Julien's chess match. Can you fill in for me?

Not Wednesday! I have choir at 5.

Great, thanks a lot.

I said not on Wednesday.

In a choir of 50, who'll ever know?

Prepare a delivery kit.

Relax, ma'am. It will be fine.

Excuse me, Doctor.

Did you ask to go to Haiti with French Doctors?

Yes.

I'm on the waiting list. They told me about you.

All right. Good luck.

Marion.

-See you soon. -See you soon. Be right back.

I can't. I'm at the chess tournament.

What did he do now?

No way! Second time this year!

He'll get expelled. I have to go. Take care.

So did you win?

No, I stole it.

Leaving already?

Yes.

-To see your non-kids? -It's an emergency.

I live nearby. Call if necessary.

I'll toot my whistle.

How reassuring.

It's intolerable.

Obviously I'll pay his dry cleaning bill.

I'm... sincerely sorry...

you got hit by a plain yogurt.

Fruit yogurt.

I didn't aim at him.

You took aim and I got hit.

He sees a nuance.

I was aiming at Leo.

Yes, but nevertheless, you regret staining his wool jacket.

Linen.

You regret staining his linen jacket with fruit yogurt.

Regret it.

Okay.

He regrets it.

He regrets it.

-He's an ass. -You stained his jacket.

-It's not a big deal! -Berries stain!

It's not like it was acid.

I left the site while the Paris chief was inspecting.

I didn't call you. I'm going to Leo's.

Dad and I need to talk to you all.

-About what? -Just talk.

So Daddy will rent a place next to Mommy's.

You'll have 2 houses:

Daddy's house and Mommy's house.

No, it's not bad.

But...

But I think you smile way too much.

I can't make a face.

No, it has to remain upbeat, but...

I'd add a touch of gravitas.

Upbeat with gravitas, together.

That sounds easy.

You wanted my opinion. I gave it.

Kids, it's true that it's serious.

Gravitas.

-Mom and Dad are "divorcing". -I hate when you do this.

-Why? -I just do.

I don't know what to do. I can't!

I'm not going to invent words. I can't find them.

We can't tell them today. Lousy idea.

Juju has a math test. He'll freak out.

Lousy idea. We can't tell them.

-No way. -We have to.

We have to.

We have to.

We've waited too long.

You must be wondering why we asked you here.

Emma, can you listen?

Yes.

So... We asked you here tonight...

because Mom and I want to talk to you.

Yes, Dad and I...

We'd like to tell you...

something important...

Yes.

Emma, can you listen?

I am listening.

You're texting.

Wrong again. It's Snapchat.

Still, you're not listening.

-I can listen and type. -Put it down!

Fuck off!

Mathias, violence is a no-no!

It's never the bitch's fault!

Don't say that!

-We asked you here... -Yes.

-Emma, listen to us! -Emma!

What the hell? Why do you gang up on me?

Judy's parents are divorcing!

She's killing herself! I help a friend and you blabber on!

You're selfish! I hate you!

Fuck!

So... What is it?

Well, we... It's that Élodie is leaving.

-That's right. She quit. -Right.

Good riddance, bimbo!

Concerning the help, Maria is lazy as hell.

Listen.

At least we...

We stuck to our guns.

Problem?

-No... -No...

Well...

Still want to divorce?

Yes!

-Problem with the settlement? -No.

-The house? -No.

-Division of the portfolio? -No.

Neither.

No more shared custody?

Yes, on the contrary.

So tell me what's wrong.

-Well... -Tell her.

Better if it's a man.

What difference?

All right, then... we were wondering if you'd come to the house for dinner.

Listen, this is fairly unusual...

but... sure, why not?

Great.

-Great, thanks a lot. -Thanks.

I need to see the sales agreement for the house.

-When can you? -For dinner.

Wait until the divorce is final and we'll see after.

-No, we'd have preferred before. -Before?

-Before? -It's better.

This weekend? What are you up to?

We can barbecue if it's nice out.

If not, fish. No big deal.

At dessert you'll chill with the kids, mellow yellow.

Exactly.

You still haven't told them?

No.

No, but...

Martine... Can I call you Martine?

As an obstetrician, when I have bad news to give,

Down Syndrome, malformation, hydrocephalus...

-I don't let the father tell the wife. -Exactly.

It's my task as a doctor.

A professional opinion, proper distance. You understand?

-Not really. -No.

What part don't you...

What a pain!

Civil servant!

Go on, push!

Come on!

Go on, go on!

You're almost done!

You're blinding me! Look!

It's unpleasant, dammit!

-It's my first child! -So what?

Excuse me, now push. Stay calm and push!

-Are they getting dressed? -What?

-They're getting dressed? -Yes.

You get any sleep?

A little. It was a complicated shift.

Oh yeah? Why?

Because...

there were patients who were...

They weren't easy.

-Sleep well? -Great.

Okay, I'm off.

-All right. -Have a nice day.

-Hi. -Hi.

-Already here? -Yes.

And Coutine?

He's here too.

How did it go with Bertrand?

It was boring. And he can't cook.

Bertrand is Bertrand. No good and no fun.

Let me buy you coffee.

I need to talk to you.

Okay, go on.

-I got promoted. -Cool!

To what?

-Head. -Of what?

I tolerate your sexist comments. So what's the problem?

There is none. Good morning, Mrs. Leroy.

-No problem? -None.

-Don't bullshit me. -I'm not.

Am I being taken off the job?

You are.

May I know why?

-Were deadlines respected? -100%.

-And the budget? -You know it.

No strikes?

So far, so good.

-No accidents? -None.

So we agree.

About what?

That you've done an excellent job.

Keeping you here is a waste. I need you in Denmark.

-In Osterild? -Yes.

-Osterild? -Exactly.

Without you, they'll never finish before Christmas.

What is it? You're pregnant again?

You scared me. See you soon.

Her meds skewed the results. Leroy!

It's confirmed. You leave for Haiti in September.

Really?

I'm thrilled. Thanks a lot.

-We'll talk soon. -All right. Thanks.

I'll print it out for you. Excuse me...

I have to answer, sorry. Hello?

Can you hold on a sec?

See you in three weeks?

-Thanks. -Thanks, Leslie.

Get my message?

I need to see you.

Me too.

So should I stop by?

See you.

It's you who should go.

No, why me?

Why should you refuse?

Because I didn't expect it. It was a surprise.

I want to go, but...

What if you refuse?

Coutine is not a misogynist. He'll understand.

I'll finish this job. Another will come up next year.

Think so?

I hope so.

You became a doctor to do humanitarian aid.

I can't stop you from doing it.

Consider it a divorce present.

What can I say?

I'm lucky to have you.

That's a nice thing to say.

I better go.

Sorry to bother you. I forgot my keys.

Florence...

This is Marion.

I'm Vincent's wife...

ex-wife...

What am I?

His future ex-wife.

Hello ma'am.

Not ma'am.

No more ma'am.

I'll call the judge about what we said.

So you'll be home late.

-Well... -We won't wait for dinner.

Well, no.

I won't make the roast beef.

Not for four of us.

I can't really judge.

Gnocchi instead.

-Yes, pan-fried gnocchi. -Yes...

They like that. Gnocchi.

-See you. -See you.

-Bye, Florence. -At the house, later.

Mrs. Leroy told me that due to a job abroad,

you'd like a temporary change in the custody terms.

Yes.

So, besides the seven months when one parent will have full custody,

the children will be shared 50-50.

Yes.

Sorry, did I hear seven months?

Isn't that it?

-No. -Yes.

It will last five months, six at most.

You're going for five months?

-Yes. -No.

I'm the one going.

-To Denmark? -No.

I don't get it. Who's going?

-Me. -Me.

Who wants the kids?

-Her. -Him.

-I'm confused. -Me too. What's going on?

I took the job in Denmark.

What? Why didn't you tell me?

Did you tell me?

Tell you what?

What for? We're separated.

You played the humanitarian card on me

so I'd babysit while you bang in Tahiti.

Haiti!

-Yeah, same thing. -No, it's not.

He's fucking a nurse.

Her name is Marion, a sweet girl in my unit.

Spreading your patient's legs isn't enough?

Nurses now?

How vulgar!

-Let's divorce! -Yes!

Yes, let's.

-Great. -Ditto.

This farce has lasted a year. Enough!

You have until New Year's. Three weeks.

If you two don't decide, it'll be up to the kids.

What?

Out of the question.

-We couldn't. -How awful.

Disgusting. Who do you think we are?

So, you must be wondering why we asked you here.

Emma, stop with that thing.

-Confiscated. -Fuck!

-Busted. -Shut your face.

So we asked you here, Dad and I...

because we've always been open with you, open and honest.

That's true.

We've never lied, right? Never hid anything.

-What say that? -Dunno.

-No connection. -Really?

-What is it? -Dunno.

So we asked you here to tell you, to announce...

-Simply that-- -Élodie's back?

-No. -Cool.

-We're divorcing. -What?

-We're divorcing. -Who "we"?

Him, me, her, me. Dad and Mom, us.

Mom and Dad are history.

-This is a joke. -We don't joke about things like this.

-No way. -This is terrible.

I understand. Put like this, it sounds...

It must seem disorienting but...

Dad and I think you can differentiate between a couple in love

and a couple...

of parents.

Oh and...

Couple in love... And that...

we'll always be a family united by love

even if we live separately.

No way.

And as for custody...

instead of fighting over you,

we think it's better if you're the ones who decide.

-You can choose to live with Mom. -Or Dad.

-Or with Dad. -Or with Dad.

I'm gonna puke.

No way.

-When? -When what, honey?

When must we choose between Mom or Dad?

-Sweetie, you have time. -Yeah, it's not...

We'll talk it over.

It's important. We'll be chill... mellow-yellow.

-Saturday? -That's in two days!

You see? Plenty of time.

Don't spend hours at your compu--

-Yes? -Bedtime.

Here.

-Where do I sleep? -Wherever. I don't care.

-Let's talk. -No, let's not. Good night.

I should have told her.

Stop feeling guilty.

You didn't cheat. You're not together.

Bodies need a break.

-Why are you panting? -Biking.

-Fresh air. -You like biking?

Hate it. But bodies need a break.

Keeps me from cheating.

I have to go. I'll call you back.

What are you drinking?

A Bourgueil.

-A bit dry. -Hey! Are you crazy?

You're only 9!

I already have a lot of stuff to forget.

You made breakfast. What progress.

I'll leave for Denmark in peace.

What? Yeah... you're not in Stockholm yet.

That's Sweden, honey.

Yeah maybe, but you haven't won yet.

You look like a winner.

Get moving. Emma has a quiz.

Crumbs suit you.

Shit!

Time to wake up, everyone!

Get up!

Get up! Out of bed!

Emma!

Get up, it's 7:45. Hurry up!

I'm really late.

That's why you have to hurry.

Honey...

Make Julien's breakfast. I need to shower.

What?

When Mom is gone, you'll be running the house.

You'll help with the dishes, the laundry, errands...

Cooking too.

You'll see your friends less. But we'll manage.

All right?

Hurry up.

I'm no dupe.

He's a nice guy but it'll be anything goes.

Hamburgers with mayo, Xbox contests, more mayo.

Joints in front of porn flicks.

As for school, "Flunk and graduate next year."

I could never allow that.

Cauliflower!

Sweetie...

I can go alone. It's not far.

I know, but I want some quality time.

Before Mom gets you.

Think we'll choose her?

You can't fight Nature. I see it in the maternity ward.

A baby goes straight for its mother's breast.

Animals are worse.

If you take a cub from a she-wolf,

she'll die of grief.

Can you imagine?

Imagine if your mom... No.

I'd rather not think of it.

So...

Your father built an urn with a little slot...

And Mom made ballots.

Pink for Mom and blue for Dad.

-We're not dumb. We can read. -I know.

It's just easier to count since there are three of you.

There are envelopes. It's a secret ballot.

I take my envelope.

I put the ballot for Mommy...

-Or Daddy. -Or Daddy.

...into the envelope... and I vote.

There you go.

It's fun.

If you win...

I won't make a fuss.

Me neither.

Does "if you win" mean they choose me or you?

If they choose you.

-So if I lose? -Meaning?

If they choose me, I lose.

You can't say "if I win, I lose".

If they choose me, I lose.

For you, win means lose. I get it.

We mean the same thing.

We're done!

What does this mean?

Mom said I should pick Dad.

-You said that? -I...

Yes.

Dad said if you lose, you'd commit suicide.

-You said that? -What?

-No. -Yes.

Yes, you did.

-No... -We're anti-divorce.

It's our choice. We choose that you stay together.

-Just wait 10 years. -Yes.

Time flies at your age.

-Happy now? -About what?

-I lost. -You lost?

We both lost.

You lost, I lost, we lost.

Choosing between us isn't that hard!

The nerve of them.

What next? I mean, what do we do?

Do as you wish. I have to go to the hospital.

Why now?

-I'm on duty. -Oh yeah?

Why change? Go naked under your smock. It's faster.

With her I like it slow.

Asshole!

You too.

Dinner!

Shit!

It's the house.

Yes?

What?

Hold on, slow down. I don't understand a thing.

What happened?

I don't know. Just after dinner, it hit them all.

A sudden stomach flu.

First Emma, then Mathias. Now I think Julien is ill.

Honey...

Hey...

Wait.

Let me have a look.

Does that hurt? Okay.

-What did you feed them? -What?

What did they eat?

I fed them food.

You fed them food?

Yeah I fed them...

some...

-Seafood? -Nothing like that. What's it called?

Pasta.

Tiny pasta.

Teeny-tiny.

Teeny-tiny pasta?

-Florence? -Yes?

-Can you come here? -Yes.

-What's in it? -Sauce.

Fuck.

-It's making bubbles. -What?

-Taste. -No... No thanks.

-Taste it. -I'm not hungry.

-You didn't. -It was an accident.

-You didn't! -I swear, I rinsed it after.

-Poison? -By mistake.

You'd hurt them so they pick me?

Are you crazy? How can you think that?

Don't play me for a fool. You're totally sick!

You make me sick.

-It's almost over. -I'm fed up.

-Fed up? -Fed up with your face.

-Fed up with my face? -Yeah.

Cool. I'm fed up with your face too!

-We're fed up face-wise. -Mutually fed up. That's fine!

Starting now with the kids, it's one day you, one day me.

One you, one me!

Perfect! And you start!

-And I start! -As of now!

-Why me? -Because! I said it first!

-I'm on duty! -I don't care!

Goodbye! Goodnight!

Happy New Year!

-You okay? -Yeah.

Go on in.

-We'll leave you. -Okay.

-Where are the kids? -With Henry.

I wanted to meet on neutral ground.

Okay.

I'm all ears.

We fucked up...

I mean... I fucked up.

You fucked up too.

And I think we can stop.

We can act normally, like adults.

So you decide, in fact.

Meaning?

As usual.

You decide to fight, you decide to make up,

you decide to be adults.

-But Vincent... -Don't give me orders.

I'm not your worker.

Mini-revolt. Your bimbo gave you wings?

Bimbo? Listen to you. You weren't vulgar before.

Me? I'm not screwing a 20-year-old.

She's not the reason I'm leaving. It's you.

I'm going to Denmark.

It's not your decision. It's the children's.

-So you want war. -You do.

-You bet I do. -You do?

You want war. You'll get it.

I'm ready for it.

-Ever seen war? -Ready.

You'll see firsthand.

-I said I'm ready. -You'll see.

I can't wait.

-Hi there! -Why are you here?

Out for a drive.

-I took a day off. -So what?

To take the kids out.

To do what?

I haven't decided yet.

Bye, bye!

Paintball is dangerous. At ten feet away, it hurts.

At five feet, it hurts a lot.

Is that clear?

You're crazy! That's less than 10 feet!

-Dad! -Yes?

What is it, honey?

-Happy now, asshole? -Shut up.

-Hi! -You asked for paintball!

You shut up too.

Dad took you?

-He thought we'd like it. -He was wrong.

Why are you limping?

It was Dad.

Did your father hurt you?

Did he do it on purpose?

I doubt it.

Doubt it or don't know? Be precise.

No idea!

-Mom! -Asshole.

-No computer? -Gone!

-How do I do my report? -Open a book.

-Yeah, right! -Where's the TV?

Gone. You watch too much crap.

It's all swollen.

Have you started packing?

I just need suntan cream.

-Is he winning? -Mate in 4.

-Mate? -Checkmate.

Oh, yes.

Go on, Julien! You're pure hate!

Fuck him! Fuck him!

Slaughter the gook!

-Yes? -Make Emma turn it down or I'll kill her.

If you want to, why not? Kill her.

I don't care. It's your day.

Fuck!

Why are you here?

I had a nightmare about Mom.

Dad, it's 4 in the morning.

Sorry but I really freaked out.

I have practice at 8. Please...

Can I stay here?

You're a pain. Keep away.

I was in a hotel in Dubai.

A dwarf opened a door and led me to a long hallway.

Then an old lady knocked me to the floor on my back.

She stooped down and straddled me.

In fact...

she sort of raped me.

Then I realized...

it was your mom.

Fucking pain.

Relax, it'll be fine.

No, it won't. It won't be fine at all.

It's a divorce, a war. I'm old.

-Give me a break. You're gorgeous. -Yeah, right.

Could you love a woman like me with three kids?

Yeah.

Desire her, make love to her?

Yeah, I think so.

Thanks, I wanted that.

It was nice. It did me good.

We're working.

I can see that.

Hi, leave a message for Emma.

-Hello? -Honey, it's me. I wanted to know if...

Who is it?

It's Mom. Tell me, what's...

Leave a message.

If you're cool, I'll answer. If not, I won't. Bye.

What's he up to?

Here you are.

Come on in.

Are you okay?

Looking good.

-Hello, ma'am. -What's this?

Don't mind me.

Come on...

Hurry up.

You'll see better there.

For this caesarian,

Henry is using the Misgav-Ladach technique.

The horizontal incision will be hidden by the pubic hair.

He cuts through the peritoneum...

There you go...

And slowly reaches...

the uterus.

I don't feel good.

What happened?

Are you okay?

Sensitive kid.

I know it's tough but don't give up.

Keep fighting.

Vincent will play hardball.

He'll want the house, the car, the money.

And custody of the kids.

-Think so? -Come on, of course.

When do you see the judge?

-In a week. -A week?

You better wake up.

-Why do I feel a draft? -No, it's just...

What the hell?

-What did you do? -It's nice. It's modern.

I like it. Let it breathe a bit.

-With your thick hair... -It's too short!

It's dynamic, modern. I like it.

-Damn, mom! -You'll see.

Should I even it out?

Think it over and tell me!

-Getting ready for Denmark? -I just need a fur coat.

Very funny.

Mathias?

Are you okay? Have a nice day?

-Yes. -Do you love me?

What?

Fuck!

What the fuck?

It's yogurt! It's not like it's acid!

Boring!

Look what you did.

Did you see?

You're totally crazy!

Fuck this.

Is your brother tense these days?

Does it feel good?

Yes, amazing.

-You're tense. -Really?

Everything's cool.

-Hi. -Hi, Simon.

It's 8. I'll be back at 11, all right?

11:30?

Okay, honey...

Have fun.

-Thanks for the blouse. -My pleasure.

I saw Léa. I didn't know she was invited.

-Hi. -But it's only 8:30!

I forgot to look at my watch.

No introductions? I'm Flo.

-Mom! -I'm... Simon.

So you're Simon!

It's true. He's cute.

You can't stay.

I'm bothering you? Sorry, darn. Were you...

-Not at all! -Then I'll have a drink.

I'm dying of thirst.

What is there?

Ketchup, no...

Vodka, great!

-How do you find my girl? -Great.

She freaks out over her small...

She doesn't want my boobs.

-Mom! -Aren't they fine?

You kids are all obsessed with appearances.

Only size matters. Every boy measures whose is biggest.

Never measured yours?

Does anyone here have a ruler?

Stop!

It's not what makes a good lover.

For example, Emma's dad has a nice penis,

and yet we're divorcing.

You're a real sicko.

Oh, I can't say anything.

My daughter.

I have to see if everything's okay.

Excuse me...

Hello? No, not at all.

I'm a MILF freak. Straight to Twitter.

Who are you?

Hey! My phone!

You're here?

Hi, stud. A dance?

Give Emma a break. Leave at once!

You kidding? There's still vodka galore.

Bye-bye, Tahiti.

This divorce is making her lose it.

I'm sorry, honey.

I'd never live with her.

Never live with her? Don't say that. You don't know.

If I did krav-maga, I'd bash the bitch's face in.

Where are you going?

Lay off your Mom. It's not easy for her.

Being a mom, having a job.

Know what Simone de Beauvoir said? A big feminist.

"One is not born woman. One becomes one."

Can we go, please?

Give this to the lady.

Like that man before. In her G-string.

Hey, share it.

Ma'am...

Your breasts are amazing.

Cool.

-Hi, Guy. -Hi, Florence. In fact you're pretty.

-In fact? -Prettier than usual.

Usually you look nice. Now you look nice nice.

-Well, no... -Understand?

More or less.

-See you later. -See you later.

Hi. Everyone in line, please.

Today Mathias' father has asked for a demonstration.

-Hello, sir. -Hello.

-Go ahead. -All right.

Krav-maga is a self-defense system.

Attack me. I'll repel you.

I can do whatever I want?

Don't hold back.

Whatever I want?

Whatever you want.

Are you crazy?

Let him go!

He's back from Radiology.

Sweetheart...

He tried to defend me.

They got you real good.

Me too.

-Can we talk for a sec? -Sure.

-Come have a drink. -Yeah.

-See you soon. -See you.

Took Emma to a hooker bar?

A strip joint. Don't exaggerate.

You broke Mathias' arm.

And you broke Emma's heart.

Where will this lead?

Depends how motivated you are.

I'll win, Vincent.

Really? What's that doubt in your voice?

You made some nice moves.

I saw a spark in your eyes, but...

-But what? -You're soft.

Really? Soft...

That girl reassures you.

-About what? -Your virility.

My virility? Really? What's wrong with my virility?

Give it up, Vincent.

Dream on.

I'm going to hurt you.

-Oh, really. -Really.

Cool...

Does that hurt?

There was some left. I hate waste.

Fuck.

-You should file a complaint. -I need an idea.

-Did that hurt? -Yes. Hold on...

I have the medicine you need.

Not a good time.

Actually you bore me.

Honey...

Excuse me?

Honey?

Two cafeteria meals make me your honey?

What do you think?

Marion, then.

I'm not your ex. I'm not a cheap date.

See you later.

Hon.. Flo...

Marion!

-Hi, Vincent. -Hi.

-Thanks. -No problem.

-Coffee? -I'd love one.

Hello, Giselle!

You take her every weekend?

I try to. Old-age homes are no fun.

Is she better?

Alzheimer's rarely gets better.

You can stay as long as you want.

But if you leave home, even for a few days,

you may lose custody.

Think so?

I know so.

We didn't bust our asses to run at 40,000! No!

Call Dionnet and have him do his job.

Come on!

You're full of energy.

Tip-top. Vincent moved out.

No way.

And he won't be back soon.

-Good for you. -Thanks.

-The judge will kill him. -Think so?

Leaving during arbitration? He can kiss custody goodbye.

Shit.

When my dad left, I was devastated.

-You parents divorced? -I was 10.

What was the worst part?

-Of the divorce? -Yes.

-Meeting my mom's boyfriend. -Why?

A real asshole.

-Big asshole? -Big.

-How big? -Enormous.

Yeah, like that. Get it?

Poor you... Was it very painful?

-Bye, Dad. -Come on, Emma.

Julien, move it.

So long.

-Hi. -How are you?

-Hi, honey. -Hi, mom.

Hello.

Why the outfit?

Dinner with a friend. Come meet him.

Emma, Julien, Mathias.

-Hello, sir. -Call me Guy.

Despite appearances, they're sweet.

But their father is too permissive.

The lax type.

I'll say. He voted François Hollande.

Good God!

They push their limits farther and farther.

-Bullshit! -See?

Perfectly.

To push limits no farther,

they need a "father".

-Farther, father... -We got it.

Brilliant, like his mother.

-Here, Guy. -Thank you, Florence.

Guy...

-Can I serve you? -Sit, Florence.

This big dummy is limber enough to hold a spatula.

-Talking to me? -Who else?

Go on, it's not a holiday!

Who is this fucking dude?

Hold on... Repeat that.

Who are you, dude?

Dude? You think we're friends?

Go to your room.

Mom, say something!

Move it!

What a loser!

Hands off the bread!

You're not pigeons.

See him again and I'll do drugs.

I feel thirsty tonight.

Thank you for a delightful evening.

How about a nightcap?

It was so powerful, I don't want to ruin it all.

It won't ruin a thing.

I'm a woman of principles.

You're a man of principles

who likes women of principles who like men of principles.

Of course.

-Goodbye, Florence. -Goodbye, Guy.

Not saying goodbye?

Thanks. Time to go now.

It's cheap for a 5-room apartment. A real steal.

Double living room, totally unobstructed view.

Yes... and sunny.

It all faces south.

Yeah, too bad.

There's no elevator.

Good exercise.

It's wonderful.

How pretty. What is it? Salmon? Apricot?

Apricot, I think.

It's perfect.

What do I smell?

Garbage dump across the street.

-Great. -It's closed weekends.

And the noise?

Youth center.

Open Wednesday and Saturday.

So it's either noise or stench.

Too bad.

All right, we're not having much luck!

It's here. This is it!

Welcome to my home.

Our home!

Coming in?

There you go.

Like it?

Who's she?

Her? Your grandma.

I thought she was dead.

Yes, but she's better now.

Hi, Mom.

Mom, look who's here.

She's stuck.

So...

Mathias,

Julien and Emma! Your grandkids!

Yeah... she prefers the home. Too expensive.

The bedroom with bunk beds.

Julien and Emma on top.

Mathias and Granny below.

-Dad? -Yes?

Can I have my birthday party at Mom's?

No problem, honey.

-Think he'll come? -I doubt it.

Welcome to the Magic Castle!

-How are you? -Fine and you?

-Hi! -It's a costume party?

No, it's not. Come on.

Julien, today's your day!

Welcome to the Magic Castle!

Mean old Tic-Tac ate all the Smarties!

With my wand you can bust his belly!

Who'll save the candy?

No one?

You won't save the Smarties?

Who'll set the Smarties free?

Wake up! He won't shit them out.

Sailors! What's to drink in this tavern?

Okay, not bad.

Nightmare.

Hello, nymph... Oh, maniac!

Why are you here?

Here, son... Happy birthday.

What is it?

A cooking stone.

"Ambiance" by Tefal.

Hope you don't have one.

Beat it. It's not your day.

What do you think? Where's your playboy?

What the fuck? Julien is furious!

What brought Dad here?

His son's birthday! You have to spoil every party!

-Take that, Tinkerbell. -He'll end up with us!

-Yes! -Well, no.

-I'm sick of her! -Yeah, but...

Hey, enough! What do you-- ? How do you-- ?

Don't badmouth your mother!

But Dad...

-There you go. -Hey!

-You're sick! -Butt out!

Yeah, butt out!

-You're psychos! -Stop this at once!

Hey you!

Flo.

And you!

-Are you crazy? -Vincent, are you crazy?

Let's go. You two are mental cases.

-I did one more than you. -Guess again.

Too slow, loser!

My computer!

You wouldn't dare.

I hate you!

We'll never see you again. Farewell. JULIEN, MATHIAS & EMMA

Vincent?

Vincent?

-Come with me, miss. -Yes.

We found them.

-How are they? -Fine.

-Where? -The bus station.

Your mother is with them.

Come with me, please.

-What mother? -I'll explain.

You're a real nutcase!

Lunatic.

A total moron.

Let's go home, Mother.

Psychopath!

Did he hurt you?

We wanted to say--

We wanted to say we're sorry.

-We're not angry. -We understand.

We'd have done the same.

You were right.

-Now we're going home... -We'll go home and move on.

We both love you.

We love you and understand you.

You can speak. You can express yourselves.

-You're allowed. -It's important.

Now you've won.

Go ahead and get divorced.

It wasn't that hard.

Now it's official. You're free.

Well... thanks.

-Bye. -Bye.

7 MONTHS LATER

The French Doctors flight from Haiti is arriving at Gate B.

Excuse me, ma'am.

Miss!

Ladies and gentlemen, we shall be landing shortly.

Please fasten your seat belts...

-Excuse me, sir. -Thanks.

Dad!

-How are you? -Fine and you?

-Dad! -You got tall.

How are you? There's my boy...

Did you miss me?

-Not really. -Thanks a lot.

-Was Denmark that great? -Amazing.

Where's Mom?

Coming.

-How are you? -Good and you?

Yeah.

Is this a joke?

No, it's a girl.

It's a girl? Ah okay...

All right...

Who's going to get custody?

I don't know.

DADDY OR MOMMY