Original subtitles

[crowd cheers]

Coming through, sir.

Take a load off, Alfred.

Jolly good, then.

Oh, dear. | trust Master Bruce did pay the cable bill.

-Good evening, Gotham. -Joker.

It's me.

Your most underrated entertainer.

Oh, how I've tried to make you all laugh,

but I'm not feeling the love, people.

Every time | bring my brand of funny to Gotham,

the only sound | hear ts:

[chirping]

But who can blame you?

You're all glued to your idiot boxes.

And since the media chooses to focus on the tragic side of my crime career,

it seems some hilarious counter-programming is in order.

So stay tuned for my brand-new sitcom:

Me and the Mayor!

What happens when you team the crazy crime clown

with Gotham's very own Mayor Grange?

Can't-miss comedy, folks.

And it premieres tonight on my very own pirate network, JTV.

Just as soon as | abduct my co-star.

[laughter on TV]

Shall | tape it for you, sir?

[theme music playing]

< The Batman f

[siren wailing]

Next time Joker decides to target the mayor, I'll drive.

Sorry, partner, but Cash Tankinson always drives.

Does Cash Tankinson always wear sunglasses at night

and speak in third person? Just curious.

[chuckles]

Yeah, chief warned me you'd resent the new guy.

So I'm your first since what's-his-name, huh?

Bennett. His name was Ethan Bennett.

A real shame Joker went and turned him into Clayface,

but Cash Tankinson don't melt so easy.

I'm the last partner you'll ever need, Yin.

[device beeping]

| somehow doubt that.

What kind of nut announces his crimes before he commits them?

Joker has to be kidding if he thinks he could get past Gotham P.D.

Joker's not kidding, mayor.

[laughing] He's joking.

What's wrong with you?

"Joking." [cackling]

[all gasping]

-Joker. -It's the Joker.

Get ready for your close-up, Mr. Mayor.

[door bursts open]

On the floor, clown boy.

Cash Tankinson's kicking butt and taking names.

[laughing hysterically] Stop, stop!

Such classic dialogue.

What deadpan delivery.

You are Hee Haw-larious!

Ever consider acting? You're good.

Clown boy, you're going--

Down?

My card.

We'll do lunch.

[groans]

Thank you, Punch.

Judy, chop-chop.

Joker and The Batman. Sweet.

Tankinson. Tankinson, wait up!

[groans]

[thud]

The Batman?

My biggest fan.

Punch, run this out to him, please.

Judy, | think this is our turn.

Might have a better chance losing him in something sportier.

Happy trails, sparky. [laughs]

Say hello to Cash Tankinson,

the detective who finally arrests The Batman.

-Look, the mayor's-- -Hey, | didn't vote for him.

Can't let the two new men in my life meet like this.

Nice work, Yin.

Just whose back do you got, anyway?

You ditched me.

| always watch my partner's back.

-[Alfred] Sir. -Anything good on the tube?

The Gators are trailing miserably.

So are we, but | have the feeling Joker's about to announce his next move.

[Joker laughing]

Quite astute you are, sir.

Me and the Mayor is about to premiere.

Help! Someone help me, please!

[laughing]

Oh, why the long face, Mairzy Doats?

Let me go, you maniac.

Hee!

Don't you fret. | have just the thing to turn your frown upside down.

No, stop!

| have a family. [laughing]

Why is Joker engaging in this ghastly business?

It isn't just for the laughs.

| know that look. You have another get-rich-quick scheme, don't you?

Bank robbery? That's cwazy.

So crazy it might just work.

You're right again, sir.

Joker is shooting on location.

At Main Street Bank.

Oh, Punch...

Hey, the mayor and | were gonna rob the old bank.

Wanna come?

Now didn't we all learn an important lesson today?

That's right. With a positive attitude and a smile,

maybe, just maybe, we can all get along.

Tune in to JTV tomorrow night for a new series and a new co-star:

Detective Shades.

Bring it on, clown boy.

You mess with the bull, you'll get the horns.

If you let this get personal, it will impair your ability to do your job.

Come on, Yin. Doesn't some part of you wanna slap that grin off of Joker's face?

At least for Burnett?

Bennett.

I'm not losing another partner to this madman.

As your senior officer, I'm ordering you into a police safe house.

What? Police protection?

Cash can take care of Cash.

Fine. Then Cash will take care of Cash off-duty and out of sight

until we bring Joker down.

Well, good luck handling that lunatic all by yourself.

And since Cash doesn't think you can...

Cash will.

[Bruce] Chasing down Joker's hit-and-run camera crew

isn't getting Mayor Grange back any quicker,

but if the clown's pirating a broadcast signal,

maybe we can trace it to its source.

And if we can preempt JTV, we have a chance of drawing Joker out.

[Alfred] Speak of the devil.

Frequency's locked on.

Tracing.

And the lummox would be?

Yin's new partner.

He's been set up and he doesn't even know it.

Tankinson? Ugh, | told you to stay away from Joker.

Tankinson, get out of there. It's a trap.

| tracked clownie here.

-He's mine. -/f you found Joker,

it's only because he wanted you to. He's broadcasting you live, right now.

I'm on TV?

Well, | hope clownie's out for some cash,

because it's payday, baby.

[can rattles]

[Joker laughs]

Freeze.

Suave sleuthing there, Shades.

But just who do you think's filming you?

Oh, no.

Any trace, sir?

[Bruce] | may not need it.

| Know where they are.

Good evening and welcome.

We're here to raise money for a very special cause:

saving Detective Shades ' life.

You see, Gotham, if you can't pony up $1 million in donations

to me, the detective's toast.

So, what say we open our hearts

and our checkbooks for our dear friend here.

[phone rings]

We just received $50 from Grandma Shades.

She says, "Please don't harm my grandson, | beg you."

Human compassion at its finest.

Okay, time to roll those numbers.

Aw, looks like a lost cause.

Maybe it's best we just put this pup down.

What are you doing?

No! Stop, stop! No, no!

[laughing]

[door smashes]

[Alfred] Sir.

All frequencies running to and from the six active transmitters

here in Gotham have been traced, but there wasn't a pirate frequency.

Active? Then maybe Joker's using an oldie-but-goodie.

Of course.

[Batman] The abandoned Gotham Radio King tower.

Now, why would you want to pull the plug on JTV

when we've been such a ratings smash?

Gotham's been riveted to their sets, but once again, no one's laughing.

Maybe it's you, Joker.

Maybe you're just not funny.

[gasps] It's the viewing public who doesn't have a sense of humor,

but | have just the thing to make them laugh.

Die laughing, in fact.

Lights!

Dispensers of Joker gas scattered throughout the city,

and through the beauty of wireless,

they're set to empty their chuckle-inducing contents

during the course of my next transmission.

And with the city dying of laughter, it'll be yours to plunder.

[laughing] You betcha, Batsie.

| was going to activate them during a ratings stunt

when | write these two tired characters off the show.

But now, what could make more compelling TV than...

Joker versus The Batman.

[Joker] Tonight on The Joker:

Will Batman defeat our charismatic star in time to save the hostages?

Will Joker finally take control of Gotham once and for all?

To find out, stay tuned.

Same Joker crime, same Joker channel.

[laughing]

Don't worry, | promise a fair fight.

And by fair, | mean totally stacked in my favor.

Come on, Batsie, smile for the camera.

[groans]

If he stops the signal, he'll stop the gas.

Don't let him reach the top of the tower.

| have one partner down and one who might need backup.

[gas hissing]

[people laughing]

Ah! Music to my ears.

Just a few more deep breaths, Gotham.

| don't-- | don't get it.

What happened?

What was so funny?

He can't win. This is my show.

Guess I'll have to settle with being the sore loser.

Sorry, but JTV's cutting all ties with you two has-beens.

Joker, you've been cancelled.

So have they.

No!

Appreciate the backup.

[sirens wailing]

Speaking of, I'm not the only cop who followed your television exploits.

While Gotham citizens are recovering tonight after exposure to Joker gas,

the rescued hostages, Mayor Grange and Detective Cash Tankinson,

are listed in good condition

thanks to an antidote believed to be left behind by The Batman.

| hate TV.

[groans]

Detective Ellen Yin recommends refraining from excess chitchat

if Cash wants to be back on the street anytime soon.

About that, Yin,

it doesn't look like we'll be working together anymore.

| requested a transfer to a desk job.

Need a break from the action.

Really? Probably just as well.

| prefer a strong, silent partner.

[theme music playing]

< The Batman f