Original subtitles

Mummy's just come from the most awful party, Princess.

The catering was a disaster.

The guests were strictly B list.

And Carrie would not shut up about her trip to New Zealand.

Mummy needs a long, hot bath.

Hush, Princess.

Mummy has a headache.

Princess, what is going...?

[screams]

< The Batman f

[BATS SQUEAKING]

BENNETT: Third high-rise this week, all with the same M.O.

No prints, no forced entry, no physical evidence of any kind.

I'd say it sounds like our Batman, if he were a burglar.

[BEEPING]

[DOOR OPENS]

BENNETT: | thought | set it on the....

The Batman! Freeze!

Hey, you! Stop!

Go, Bats.

Hey, Alfred, check this out.

Strix nebulosa laponica...

...a rare species of owl native to China.

According to the Batwave search function...

...these scratches from the victim's dressing table...

...match the owl's talon span.

Someone has trained a bird to perform burglaries.

[CLEARS THROAT]

Without suggesting that I'm not sufficiently impressed...

...with your deductive powers...

...| must remind you that you have a gala fundraiser to host.

-Right, Alfred. Tomorrow night. -Sir, it is tomorrow night.

We wouldn't want any guests growing suspicious of how...

.. billionaire bachelor Bruce Wayne really spends his time after dark...

...now, would we?

[DANCE MUSIC PLAYING]

Hello, ladies.

[CROWD SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY]

MAN 1: Smile, please. There you go.

-Beautiful. Beautiful. MAN 2: Michael! Michael!

MAN 3: Look over here. Over here. Great.

[HONKING]

Huh?

Make way. Make way.

The Oz-meister is in the house.

[CHUCKLING]

PENGUIN: Bruce Wayne...

...king of the castle, ruler of the roost.

-Have we met? -Cobblepot. Oswald Cobblepot...

...of the Newcastle Cobblepots.

But call me Ozzy.

We have a lot in common, you and I.

We're young, rich and handsome.

-| don't think I've heard of-- -|'ve been abroad.

Just got back from a tour of the Orient.

Uh.... | see.

And speaking of a broad....

Well, |, for one, have certainly heard of the Cobblepots.

My grandfather used to butler for them in England...

...and they were obnoxious then as well.

Grandpa Pennyworth worked himself to the bone for those wretched snobs...

...and they treated him like a stray dog, then had the nerve to fire him.

AMANDA: Get lost, creep.

Oh. Spunky.

Hey, miss, wait up.

How about some victuals there, Jeeves?

Hey. Sorry about the weird guy. Sure you don't wanna stick around for the band?

Oh, Bruce.

Amanda Raymont. We met last year at the Earth Day thing.

You know, maybe | will stick around.

-Uh, pardon me. -Hmm.

BRUCE: Trespassing is against the law.

Oops, busted.

-Ethan. | see you brought a guest. -My partner.

Hi. I'm Bruce.

Detective Yin.

Freeze!

-You wanna come in and join the party? -Not tonight. We're on the clock.

Orders. Keeping an eye on high-profile events...

...with that string of robberies and all.

[AMANDA SCREAMING]

-Are you okay? -A bird attacked me.

Ooh, freaky. When | was a kid, a seagull snagged my sandwich.

I'm sure it just thought your rubies were berries.

[PENGUIN BURPING]

More shrimp puffs, and be quick about it.

And no skimping on the mayo this time.

-| will have you know-- -Everything okay here, Alfred?

| was about to inform Mr. Cobblepot...

...that his name does not appear on the guest list.

Let me see that!

-Huh. An oversight. -No doubt.

But this is a charity event.

So if you wish to continue devouring the hors d'oeuvres...

...you must make the required donation.

Is that so?

Here's my contribution, Jeeves!

ALFRED: Oh, dear.

Best teach the help some manners, Brucie.

That's what separates the Waynes from the Cobblepots.

Ones?

The odd thing is, | was certain I'd heard the Cobblepot fortune...

... ad long since been squandered.

They had to leave England to avoid the shame.

It'd be a shame if you didn't get some sleep, Alfred.

And try not to dream of these Cobblepots.

And you, sir?

The Batman has some birdwatching to do.

| don't believe it.

My serving tray's gone missing.

That homunculus pilfered it just to spite me.

Well, Grandpa Pennyworth would've wanted to know...

...what became of the Cobblepots.

[WHIRRING]

[CHURCH BELL RINGING]

BATMAN: One of Cobblepot's girls.

Where's Kabuki Twin number two?

Whoa.

Great. Double trouble.

ALFRED: Cobblepot Manor?

Well, you came this far, Pennyworth.

Hello?

So this is what became of the Cobblepot fortune.

Ugh. Revolting.

-Aha. PENGUIN: Tweet, tweet.

I'm home, my pretties!

BATMAN: "High-rise jewel thefts baffle police."

Dozens of similar crimes across Asia which suddenly stopped last week...

..and started up again in Gotham.

So Cobblepot is behind it.

PENGUIN: Just got back from a tour of the Orient.

Let me see that!

And he used my guest list as a checklist for tonight's crime spree.

Alfred.

Alfred?

Huh. Maybe he's out running errands.

[PHONE DIALING]

PENGUIN: Anchovies.

[CELL PHONE RINGING]

Who's there?!

Who trespasses in Cobblepot Manor?!

Hide-and-seek, then.

Huh?

[CROWING]

[GROANING]

Well, well, well.

Come to help with the dusting, Jeevesy?

Actually, | just popped in to reclaim some missing property.

Fine. You can use it to serve me more of those shrimp puffs.

The days of Pennyworths serving Cobblepots are long since over.

Huh? You're a Pennyworth?

And the only thing keeping me from walloping you soundly...

...IS the shame the news of the incident would bring upon my Master Bruce.

Wayne, shmayne.

The good old days when Cobblepots were king are coming back...

...because | am gonna restore the Cobblepot name...

...to its former wealth and glory.

Hmm. If you intend to do so by pilfering, it may take a while.

Not as long as you think, old man.

You? Birds?

Oh, dear.

Allow me to fetch those shrimp puffs right away.

Unhand me, you harridans.

My pets haven't been fed this evening...

...and they are famished.

But why feed them seed...

...when they can feast on a treat of meat?

[LAUGHING]

Who's that?

-What are you doing here? -Long story.

[LAUGHING]

[SCREECHING]

No, no, no!

Come back, my pretties!

Jolly good.

PENGUIN: So it seems the tales of The Batman are true.

But really, who names himself after a mangy flying rodent?

[PENGUIN LAUGHING]

PENGUIN: Just one question, Batman.

-How'd you find me? -You left a trail of breadcrumbs.

PENGUIN: Please!

Now that all pretenses are off, call me Penguin.

A flightless bird, but one with style!

My word.

A few tricks | picked up in the Orient.

| have a few tricks of my own.

Bring it on, rodent boy.

Watch where you're stepping.

BATMAN: Stay down, Penguin.

And have you miss what's coming next?

Let me guess, a little something you picked up in the Orient.

This penguin has claws!

Right, then.

[LAUGHING]

Bird beats bat.

Huh?

There's a nice cage waiting for you, Penguin...

...in the Gotham State Pen.

[GROANING]

As thrilling as it was watching you work, sir, from here on out...

...| shall leave the sleuthing to you.

PENGUIN: Because | am gonna restore the Cobblepot name...

...to its former wealth and glory!

Behind you!

[GROANING]

That is for Grandpa Pennyworth.

-We'll leave this bird for the police. -Oh, dear.

And what of those birds?

BATMAN: They flew the coop.

Oh, my goodness.

That's game.

Dogs are on you, dog.

Hey, congrats on the Cobblepot bust, Ethan.

You know, it's hard to believe that such a bigtime crook was at my party.

| can't take the credit for this one, Bruce.

Big secret, but Gotham's favorite vigilante collared him for us.

Now, in some ways, man, I'm glad freaks like this Penguin bring out The Batman.

Hopefully, it's not The Batman who brings out the freaks.

< The Batman f