Original subtitles

Well so long Clancy, swell working with you.

So long, pal.

Hope to meet you again on another job.

Nah, this isn't my racket.

I just filled in for one of your men that was sick.

Hey, I seen your face somewhere before.

Sure, you did a good job on it too.

I told you not to let Tony Page out of your sight.

That's what you're hired for.

But Mr. Potts, he locked me in the bathroom.

I ain't no magician!

Listen, Wilbur, if anything ever happened to Tony Page,

half the women of America would go into mourning.

Look, Mr. Potts, I got the interest of Breathola at heart.

But this critter ain't normal.

One day he's driving a taxi.

The next, he's working as a bus boy.

Now he's probably running for congress.

Oh, wasn't that divine?

That was high E flat above high C sharp.

Nevermind Beulah, I'm busy.

But I have so much to offer the world.

Ever since Pop struck oil in Bettonville,

I've been waiting for this moment.

You know what my singing teacher told me today?

Well for twenty dollars a lesson,

he should've told you plenty.

He said that, "Mrs. Potts, your voice is angelic.

It's a gift!"

You better give it back.

But darling, don't you see?

Now I'm ready to sing on your program!

That's all I need.

If you ever sang on Breathola, I'd go into the red.

Red!

Red, that's just your color, Ardmore.

So happy.

So masculine.

Oh Mr. Wilbur, don't you think my husband

would look wonderful in red?

He'd look just ducky.

There Ardmore, see?

Beulah, sometimes you bring out the homicidal tendency in me.

Why darling, you haven't said anything so nice

to me since our honeymoon.

Greetings today!

Hello, Mrs. Potts!

Hi, Wilbur!

Now what have you been up to?

I've been painting the face of America's

biggest pain in the neck.

Mr. Tony Page, ever heard of him?

Silly, that's you.

Oh no, that isn't me, Mrs. Potts.

I still like to think of myself as a human being.

That's ridiculous.

When are you going to act like a star?

Never, I hope.

You think it's any fun being mauled

by thousands of dizzy women?

Mr. Tony Page.

Five minutes warning.

Hurry up, Tony.

Millions are waiting for you.

Well, adios!

And now we bring you Tony Page, the Breathola troubadour,

singing those songs which have made him,

"America's Boyfriend."

Tony Page!

Thank you.

For my first number, I'm going to sing

Sweet Lips, dedicated to the Tony Page Club of Waukegan.

Are you listening, ladies?

Sweet lips, kiss my blues away.

Sweet lips, bring good news my way.

There's some sweet something your kisses possess that makes

me lose my loneliness.

Sweet lips, kiss my blues away.

Sweet lips, bring good news my way.

There's some sweet something your kisses possess that makes

me lose my loneliness.

Sweet lips, kiss my blues away.

What bliss your two lips unveil.

There's satisfaction when they're in action.

Sweet lips, kiss my blues away.

[APPLAUSE

Oh Tony, that was divine.

I'm just geese pimples, all over.

Now my boy, we must be leaving.

You have an important engagement.

What's up now?

Why Tony, have you forgotten?

That lady's clambake society of Hohokus

are dedicating a statute to you this evening.

I don't want any part of it.

But you can't offend the lady's clambake society of Hohokus!

My job's finished for today.

I've got a date.

Your duty is to Breathola.

My duty is to a very charming young lady,

and she's waiting for me right now.

Now look here, Tony.

Sorry.

You can have my share of the clams.

Wow, this is perfect.

You're a funny boy, Tony.

Imagine bumping along in this old bus

when you might be riding in a Rolls-Royce.

But don't you understand, Vilma?

This is where I belong.

Just one of the four million.

Tony, you're missing so much fun.

I'm not missing a thing.

I got you.

My evening's complete.

But I like to go places where people know you.

After all, you are America's boyfriend.

Oh, I thought we were going to forget that thing.

After seven o'clock at night, I want to be the real Tony Page.

Just a guy nobody ever looked at twice.

Nobody?

Well.

You can look three times.

The consumate nerve of the guy.

Hello, chief.

Aha, Mr. Wilbur, I was just playing secretary.

Well, what did you find out?

The female's a Scandihoovian.

Her name is Vilma Vlare.

Vilma Vlare?

That's pretty.

There was a young lady

named Vilma Vlare who loved Tony Page who sang in the air.

Boom-boom!

Boom-boom-- Beu-- Beulah!

Go ahead.

She came to this country about a year ago in a show.

It was a flopola, but Vilma decided to stick.

An actress? That's bad.

It's worse than that.

Tony goes for her like money for a racoon coat.

I got it from a good source.

He's always sending her poseys.

Now isn't that sweet.

That's what you used to do a lot more, remember?

I remember.

Miss Vlare is telling all her friends she's gonna marry Tony.

I knew it.

If she does, the Breathola program is washed up.

I know it.

But what are you gonna do when a guy's

got spring in his corpuscle?

Beulah, if you wanted to stop a man from getting married,

what would you do?

Well now, let's see.

What did Father do when he tried to keep you from marrying me?

Why, he had the firm send me to South America.

That's it!

You mean we're gonna take a trip?

Gloria, get me South Amer-- get me a messenger.

Come in!

Vilma!

What's going on here?

Tony darling, isn't it wonderful?

What's wonderful?

Mr. Potts.

He found a part for me in Hollywood.

I'm leaving on the five o'clock train.

But darling, don't you see it's a trick to keep us apart?

Really, Tony.

I thought you'd be delighted to hear about my good luck.

But you belong here, with me.

I'd say you're being very selfish.

You know what this would mean to me.

I know what it means for both of us.

More crowds.

But darling, I'm only trying to talk sense

into your pretty little head.

That can go to blazes.

There's no use, Tony.

I'm leaving for California today.

Right face.

Oh, that was beautiful, Ardmore.

You're just like a cadet.

No respect.

That's what's the trouble with you-- you

don't appreciate your husband

Nice work, Mr. Potts.

You got rid of Vilma very neatly, didn't you?

Oh, my boy, why worry about that Vlare girl?

She's not interested in you.

All she wants is a career.

You've interfered in my private life for the last time.

When I signed that contract with you,

I thought I'd be the happiest guy on Earth-- plenty

of money, a chance to sing.

Why, it sounded perfect.

I didn't know I had to give up all my own plans

and live a phony life 24 hours a day.

I didn't know I'd become Public Freak Number 1.

See?

That's the thanks I get for making a national hero out

of a truck driver.

All I want is a chance to be a normal human being

like anyone else.

If you think you can cheat me out of it, you're crazy.

Goodbye, Tony.

Isn't he cute when he gets mad?

Listen, Tony, you've got me in a frightful panic.

The broadcast is only 15 minutes.

Step on it, old.

What do you want me to do-- fly?

Look, Sylvia!

There's Tony Page!

Why, it's Tony, all right.

Oh, my public!

You'd better get out of here before there's a massacre!

I'll see you later.

Wow, that was close.

I beg your pardon?

Well, you see those women?

They're chasing me.

I don't see why.

Pardon me.

May I introduce myself?

I'm Tony Page.

That's America's Boyfriend.

I see.

You've got it, too, huh?

You flatter yourself.

I always turned off your golden voice.

You mean you don't like me?

Personally, I prefer hillbillies.

Hey, you're all right.

Are you having fun slumming?

Well, I'm not going to Chinatown.

I'm due at the radio station in five minutes.

Well, don't let me detain you.

It's not you.

It's that gang of Amazons.

Hey, would you help me out of a jam?

Why, Mr. Page, I'd be honored.

Oh, stop your kidding.

All right.

You see this? -Sure.

Well, it's a suit.

Well, what do I want with it?

Just this.

See Chinatown!

Chinatown!

See Chinatown, folks!

A trip you can't afford to miss. Hey.

Where ya going?

Oh, I'll be back in a minute.

Who was that dame, anyhow?

New shill I put on last week.

She's OK.

Brings in lots of cash customers.

I told you never to hire any shills

without an OK from the boss.

Hey, you don't think she's a copper, do ya?

I don't trust nobody.

Hey, but where's Tony Page?

Made his way yet?

Those female tacklers must have him on the 40-yard line by now.

You're right.

I can call you an America's Husband instead of a Boy--

I know, America's Boyfriend.

If you don't stop ribbing me, I'll drop this bag.

Oh, no, you won't.

Come on, snuggle up and pretend that we're married.

A pleasure, madam.

Hurry, dear, the boss is coming home for dinner!

I'm coming--

Tony Page!

Where are you going?

That's him now!

I'll hold the door open.

Tell him to run for it.

Ladies! Ladies!

Please!

Act like gentlemen!

There's absolutely no truth to that report.

As long as Tony Page is under contract with me,

there'll be no marriage.

marriage, Ardmore?

Why didn't you tell me?

I insist on you giving the bride away,.

Of course, I mean she'll be wearing the lace.

I do ramble on, don't I?

You rub me the wrong way.

Why, darling, I haven't rubbed you since you had lumbago.

Actresses, Dutchess lace, reporters--

it's a wonder I'm not dead.

And you haven't any insurance.

Who would write a policy on my life?

They'd say that any man who marries you is a mad risk.

Now, this is no time for compliments.

Quiet!

If you feel difficulty, you can you can do something about it!

Well, what is it?

Women in our town refuse to buy any more of your products

if Tony Page marries.

As long as my name is J. Ardmore Potts, he won't marry!

Here it is.

I found it. -Found what?

The Madison Insurance Company-- will

insure anything from a Pekingese pup to a floating rib.

There, you see?

They'll insure a Pekingese, they ought not to mind you.

Insurance?

Beulah!

Me, insure a man against love?

Now, now, dear, you're getting feverish.

You'd better take a cold shower.

Give me that card.

Where are you going?

I'm going out to buy myself some love insurance.

Well, they don't give you a policy on something

that's already dead.

Mr. Potts, with many weird policies in my day,

but your proposition is the strangest I've ever heard.

If you can insure a man's life, why can't you insure his heart?

Pardon me.

Get Miss Delaney in, please.

I'd like her advice on this matter.

You want me, Uncle Ned?

June, this is Mr. Potts, of the Company.

Mr. Potts, my niece and business associate, Miss Delaney.

How do you do?

I want an insurance policy that will

obligate you to pay me $300,000 if Tony Page gets married.

I see.

You intend to keep him America's boyfriend.

Exactly, and I'm willing to pay a heavy premium.

Would Mr. Page submit to an examination?

Examination?

Certainly.

If I can't show he has a weakness

for the ladies, poor risk.

Impossible.

If Tony knew I was doing this, he'd raise the devil.

Does he have to know?

Now, Mr. Page, you'll please relax.

I said relax.

Mr. Page.

Will you please think to a kingdom

filled with beautiful women.

Think of Eve.

Think of Venus.

Think of Helen of Troy.

I'd rather think of a number from 1 to 10.

Hm?

Amazing.

What did you say, Doctor?

Your heart.

It's amazingly slow.

Say, what is this?

A fashion show?

Oh, Mrs. Grogan.

Oh, Mrs. Grogan!

Doctor, that girl!

It's.

Hey, get this thing off, will ya?

Hurry up!

I gotta get out of here!

Come on.

Get out of here!

A most amazing specimen, this Tony Page.

The one time he showed any great emotion

was when woman appeared.

Then, he quite lost control of himself.

I can't understand it.

I can.

Uncle Ned, I would advise you to write this policy.

But my dear, the young man is an unusual case.

I think I can deal with him.

You must be a superwoman.

Oh, no.

All Mr. Page needs is a young lady

who will keep him guessing.

Tony Page is bored with all women who pursue him.

I'll find the girl who pretends to dislike him,

and he will move heaven and earth to please her.

Miss Delaney is right.

Mr. Page needs to be frustrated by some young woman.

And I am a candidate for the job.

Nonsense, June.

You've got to work on our case against the bus company.

The trial is scheduled for next month.

But I'm ready for that, Uncle Ned.

Right now, I'd like to tackle America's Boyfriend.

But he might fall in love with you.

All the better.

Then he won't marry some other girl in a moment of weakness.

How are you going to do all this?

You're going to help me, Mr. Potts.

I want you to arrange a casual meeting with Tony Page.

Good afternoon, Darlene.

Would you please tell my husband I went out?

But he's in concert with Mr. Page.

Oh, that's quite all right.

They won't bother me.

Oh, Ardmore, the most wonderful thing has happened.

Beulah, I-- I haven't time.

I--

I've written a new song, and you simply must put

it on your program, Agamemnon.

This my inspiration?

Nay.

Beulah, I-- I'm expecting a visitor.

It's called "You Are My Rosebud."

You are my rosebud.

Do you suppose that You are

the sweetest We must never You

are my rosebud.

Before I knew bud.

I want to tell you you're delicious, you're determined,

you're distracted, you're delirious, you're

I never heard anything like it.

Miss Delaney is here.

Send her in.

Beulah!

Would you get out of here and take

these two bloodhounds with you?

Mr. Potts, you wouldn't answer my letter,

so I came here myself.

My lifesaver.

I've been looking everywhere for you!

Where have you been? Who are you?

Pardon me.

I didn't mean to interrupt you, Mr. Page.

Oh, no, you don't.

I let you get away from me once, but it's

not going to happen again.

There's nothing you can do for me.

Oh, I must see Mr. Potts.

Oh!

Whoa, there.

I'll be all right in a minute.

Huh, you're going to sit right down on that couch

there and listen to Dr. Page.

Here.

Try a whiff of this.

And lady, we're going to have to do something about your case.

Give me that.

Easy, now.

Let's check over your visible assets.

We've got one handkerchief, one purse, one powder

compact, and one keyring.

Too bad you can't mind your own business--

And one dime.

Are you going to finance Potts with this?

Oh, why, I left a $20 bill at home.

I must go right back and get it.

Yeah.

Mhm.

Just take it easy now.

There.

That's much better.

What's going on here?

This little lady went on a diet so she

could get a kind word from you, and she's

nearly starved to death.

Oh, Mr. Potts, I'm June Delaney,

the singer from Galesburg.

You simply must listen to me.

Of course he will, dear.

And I've got a song of my own you can sing.

It goes, "You are my ro--"

Quiet.

I hope you're not fooled by this lady's fainting spell, Tony.

That's the oldest gag in the world.

She needs money.

She needs food.

I've heard these stories many times.

Miss Delaney, you'd better leave my office.

Ardmore, you brute.

Pay no attention to my husband.

He isn't himself, obviously.

Beulah Potts!

I'll be glad to leave Mr. Potts.

And thanks so much for your courtesy.

But wait a minute.

You can't go like that.

Well, I don't want any help from you,

Mr. America's Boyfriend.

Potts, you've got the soul of an iceberg.

We businessmen know how to handle these fakers.

That girl's no faker.

She's desperate.

And I'm going to help her.

It worked.

It worked!

Miss Delaney, wait!

Well, you're the first girl that ever walked out on me.

Let me go.

Now, now, how about a nice cup of coffee, a sandwich--

and you and me?

I wish you'd let me alone.

I wouldn't go anywhere with you, Mr. Tony Page.

OK, if that's the way you feel about it.

Oh!

Quit acting like a primadonna.

You're going to throw yourself in front

of a nice, juicy steak.

Down?

Right.

Well, your treatment was a great success, Dr. Page.

Oh, but you're not cured yet.

I always keep my patients under very close observation.

I'm on the recovered list already.

Just send me your bill the first of the month.

Where do you think you're going?

Oh, to look for work.

Oh, no, you're not.

You're going home and getting a good night's rest,

and I'm gonna see that you get there safely.

Thank you, but I'll manage.

No, now, don't argue with me.

This Dr. Page is a stubborn cuss.

So am I. And you're not going to take me home.

We've been riding around for an hour, Miss Delaney.

Are you quite sure you live in this city?

I seem to be a little mixed up.

Perhaps you'd better let me off here.

I can find the house myself.

You're a very good actress, but you can't fool me.

I'm going to find you a home.

Take us to West 53rd Street.

Here we are!

How do you like your new home?

Oh, I couldn't stay here.

Why, it's a grand little room. Come on.

Someday, it might be a landmark.

This is where that first-rate truck

driver Tony Page used to live.

You, a truck driver?

One of the best.

Hello, Mr. Page!

Hello, Mrs. Grimes!

I brought you a new customer.

Well, that's very thoughtful of you, Tony.

Miss Delaney, meet Mrs. Grimes, the pride of West 53rd.

Oh, go on.

How do you do, my dear? -How do you do?

Do you think you could find room for my protege?

Sure.

Any friend of yours is welcome here.

You know that.

She's a little behind on the rent.

Don't worry, because I'm going to find her a job.

Well, I can fight my own battle.

Of course you can.

But it's a good idea to have a truck driver in your corner.

And don't forget-- we've got a date at 7:30.

Oh, no, I can't-- well-- well, I can't see you again.

7:30.

Wear a smile, and we'll go places.

Goodbye, Mrs. Grimes.

Goodbye.

Come, dear.

Oh!

Here's an opportunity for you, young lady.

How about it?

You mean, you want me to sing in the concert?

That's right. Sure.

Either way, you've got to start at the bottom.

Remember me, a humble truck driver?

Oh, Mr. Page, I'd be scared to death.

I'll be there to cheer you on.

I'll even sing in the contest myself.

Oh, ho!

If you only could.

Oh, no, no.

They'd recognize you in a minute.

I'll fix that. You got an eyebrow pencil?

Mhm.

Right.

Here.

And now, my dreamers, the sponsors

of your favorite mattress, that magic carpet which

launched you to slumberland, bring

you the stars of the future!

And who might you be, my dear son?

Well, I'm Otis Slapsaddle, and these here fellas-- they

are the Ozark Bull Brahmas.

Greetings, my lad.

And what are you and the Bull Brahmas

going to offer the viewing public?

I'll have you know we hitchhiked clean from Oklahoma

to sing on the radio.

The folks down home says we're ready for sympathy orchestra.

Play, my fine fellows.

Well, I'll do my best.

Let her go, fellas.

Burn them 1, 2, 3.

4, 5, 6.

I have got a letter from a man in town.

Telling me to leave the hills and come on down.

Make a lot of money on the radio.

Oh!

Singing my hillbilly song.

Ain't nobody wants to hear my tunes at all.

I have watched the heavens, but no pennies fall.

Up and down the alleys with yoodelay-he-hoo.

Singing my hillbilly song.

Well, can't they see a movie star in me?

Well, don't they know a personality?

If I could only get a little break,

I would buy a grand big beauty steak.

I'm so hungry, I could eat a table leg.

But I'm much too proud to ever try to beg.

Wish that I was sitting at my own back door,

singing my hillbilly song.

Singing my hillbilly song.

Welcome.

So you think you'd like to get on the air-- or should I say,

get the air.

What's your name?

Uh, Elmer Trogmartin.

Well, Elmer, what's in your mind?

Uh, I'd-- I'd like to give, uh, my impression of Tony Page.

Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Elmer Trogmartin

will go through a few cadenzas.

So sit back, and imagine that you're listening to Tony Page.

Sweet lips, kiss my blues away.

Sweet lips, bring good news my way.

There's some sweet something--

Sorry, Elmer, but I'll have to stop you.

We just got a phone call from Tony Page,

and he threatens to sue the station.

The next amateur is this little lady.

Come on up.

What's your name?

Minerva Fitch.

I'm a singer of.

Come on, burn us up.

Ladies and gentlemen, Miss Minerva Fitch,

the toast of New York.

What is it that takes you and makes you a slave?

What is it that won't let your poor heart behave?

What's the mysterious feeling?

Why does it make you rabid?

The funniest little thing, this business of love.

You, the cunningest little thing, this business of love.

It lifts you up, the feeling.

There's nothing quite above it.

Though at times, it makes you so unhappy,

will you learn to love it?

It's the busiest little thing, this business of love.

That's the dizziest little thing, this business of love.

You may think you got a laugh on it,

but you don't know the half of it.

This frantic, sweet, romantic, business of love.

And although you may think you're immune,

it soon will make you change your tune--

this frantic, sweet, romantic business of love.

Well, Miss Fitch, you won first prize.

Yep.

May I have your autograph?

Oh, pleasure, Mr. Trogmartin.

Poor Mr. Trogmartin.

He didn't even win a mattress.

Say, June, will you do me a favor?

Yeah.

Lend me that prize money.

I'll make good.

Come on.

Say, I've been looking for you everywhere.

There was a mistake about the prizes.

Oh, yeah?

Sure, you won first prize.

The judges got the names mixed up.

When they went to look for you, you were gone.

On the level, mister?

You ain't spoofing?

You can ask my girlfriend.

Yes, yes.

Doggone, we sure needed that money.

It's all yours.

Tony, that was sweet.

Oh, the poor fellow needed the money.

But don't worry-- the $50 is still yours.

Oh, I wasn't thinking of that.

Well, might as well be a real gambler.

Penny for your thoughts.

They're not worth a plug nickel.

Hey, anything about you is the real McCoy with me.

Hey, has word gotten around that I sorta like you?

I think we'd better go.

Miss Vilma Vlare, the little Swedish girl who arrived

in Hollywood last month, clicked beautifully in her screen test,

and Superba Pictures have offered her a contract.

Well. That settles little Miss Vlare.

Beulah, you married a smart man.

Why, I don't know.

You know I've never been married before.

You're the only man in my life. -All right.

All right.

Just forget it.

What is it?

Mr. Potts, Mr. McGrath from Superba Pictures

is here to see you.

Send him in.

I think you can go in now, Mr. McGrath.

Thanks very much, Miss Temple.

You are my rosebud--

Beulah.

Beulah, I'm going to have a very important conference.

That's quite all right, angel.

Just lower your voice, and you won't bother me a bit.

Ah, Mr. McGrath.

I've just been reading about our little protege.

Potts, are you trying to ruin my company?

What do you mean?

I sent you Vilma Vlare, didn't I?

Look! -Exactly.

You sent us Vilma Vlare.

We spent thousands of dollars on a publicity campaign for her,

and what happens?

Can we have three guesses?

Don't bother.

I'll tell you.

Miss Vlare's been in this country over a year

without a permit, and now the government is going

to send her back to Sweden.

She's an alien.

She looked like such a nice girl.

Send her back?

What a surprise.

What?

Well, we've got a fine state of affairs.

Well, we may get out of trouble.

But it's no thanks to you.

Why, of course.

You could make a picture on Ellis Island.

We'll do better than that.

We'll get her an American husband.

Miss Vlare tells me that your Tony Page is

ready to marry her right now.

Well, she can't do that.

I'll sue her.

I'll sue you.

Ardmore, your face is so red.

Wouldn't he be wonderful in color?

Hello, get me Mr. Madison.

Yes?

Well, hello, Mr. Potts.

Now, see here, Madison.

Unless you act quickly, Miss Vlare will marry Tony Page,

and I will collect $300,000 from your company.

And I'll get a new fur coat.

No!

June will know how to deal with it.

She reports that Tony has been with her every night this week.

"This is the forest primeval."

"--Murmuring pines and hemlock."

I'll bet you recited that in school.

Well, I was the best darn orator in the class.

He gave me first prize.

Yeah, I'd like it I'll

bet I'd have licked any kid in school

to win a walk home with you.

Oh, I was a fright.

My hair was in pigtails, and freckles.

I'd have loved every one of them.

Tony.

Darling, you're a lifesaver.

Just when I was beginning to think

that life wasn't worth a plug nickel, in walked you.

And that's the man I thought was the most conceited

boy in the whole world.

It turned out to be you.

We're going places, we two.

And we're not going to let the rest of the world horn

in on our party.

Tony, you can't.

Can't you see you've got a job on your hands,

and there's no room for me in the life

of America's Boyfriend.

Let's forget about him.

June, I'm so crazy about you.

You see what I mean?

Yeah, I see.

Tony, there's something I must tell you.

What do you want?

Now, take it easy, Mr. Madison.

This is just a friendly call.

You can tell your boss that I'm going

to the prosecute the bus company to the full extent of the law.

Well, you don't have to get so stressed.

It's high time we ended your little game of robbing

from Chinatown, and then

collecting insurance from me.

Now, maybe we can get together on that.

Sure, you wouldn't want to have no serious trouble, would ya?

You men can't frighten me.

We'll fight that out in court.

OK, Madison.

Don't slam the door when you leave.

Uncle Ned.

Why, hello, dear.

All right.

Uncle Ned, I'm tired.

I need a vacation.

Can't we turn Tony Page over to someone else?

June, have you lost your mind?

Why, you have the young man eating out of your hand.

Why, this is no time to quit.

But I'm fed up.

Well, I don't like the job.

I've just talked with Mr. Potts,

and he tells me that Tony Page is

in love with a Swedish actress.

She's coming back to New York to marry her.

Well, that's impossible.

Vilma Vlare has told the newspaper that she and Tony

will be married this week.

So you see, my dear, I can't afford to release you.

Why, if we have to pay Mr. Potts $300,000,

it will ruin the company.

I understand.

After all, the policy was your idea.

You've got to go through with it.

All right, Uncle Ned.

When insurance policies come in the door,

love flies out the window.

Well, hello, Miss Grimes.

I'd like to see Miss Delaney.

She's not here.

Well, when will she be back?

Listen, Mr. Page.

There's something funny about that girl.

She hasn't spent one night in her room.

What are you talking about?

Well, I'm not a body to dish the dirt.

But why does she come back here only the night

when you're visiting her?

And who's this Mr. Potts she's always telephoning?

Potts?

Sure.

And I can't help but hear, and one night

she said, "It's working fine.

Tony doesn't even suspect."

Well, I don't like that funny kind of business.

Thank you, Mrs. Grimes.

You promised to keep him so interested in you,

he wouldn't look at another girl.

And she did a good job, too.

I can give Miss Delaney a swell recommendation.

But it was a waste of time.

I'm marrying Vilma Vlare tonight after the broadcast.

If you do that, I'd have to pay Mr. Potts $300,000.

Fine.

You can use that money to buy me a wedding present.

Now, see here, Tony.

You can't make a fool out of re-- Hello?

Mr. Potts, you have another London wire.

I don't want to talk to London!

Congratulations, June.

Really was a marvelous act.

You know, for a while, I thought you really liked me.

Oh, Tony, you don't understand.

I understand perfectly.

You're a very clever girl.

No nonsense, no sentiment.

Strictly business.

But Tony, we only did this to protect you.

You owe it to the public. Yes?

You should call France, Mr. Potts.

France?

You must have your wires caught.

Mr. Page, I appeal to your sense of fair play.

Fair play?

I think you'd better speak to Miss Delaney about that.

Goodbye, June.

It was great fun while it lasted.

I think I'll wire my congressman and have him send you a letter.

Mr. Potts, I think I can stop this marriage.

Get Wilbur in here.

What are you going to do?

I'm gonna take advantage of the fact

that Tony loves me, even if he doesn't know it.

Another hour more, and I'll have to deliver

you to this Tony Page.

I'm sorry, David, believe me.

If there were another solution for us,

you know I'd prefer to become Lady Banning.

It's essential that you marry an American citizen.

I understand.

Bye, darling.

I'll call you at the hotel.

Goodbye, my sweet.

Vilma!

Tony, angel!

Are you happy we are together again, my darling?

Yes, it's-- it's grand.

And now you're a great Hollywood star, eh?

Now, I'm the future Mrs. Tony Page.

You made all the arrangements?

Of course.

We're to be married tonight after the broadcast.

Are you sure these two men are the type?

Why, Public Enemy Yearbook is the top radio

for the entire year.

Wonderful.

Wilbur, you know the nicest people.

Well, I--

Come in.

Come on in, boys.

Reckon it's OK, Elmer.

Oh, come on.

We've-- we've-- we've

Fellas, this is Miss Delaney.

Pleased to know ya, ma'am.

I'm pleased to meet-- pleased to meet--

pleased to m-m-- Hello, there.

You mean to say these two boys are desperate characters?

As tough as a mother-in-law is hot!

Yeah, what they call us-- they call us the-- the-- the--

the-- Texas Terror.

Well, we come from Milk Alley, and the farther up the alley

you go, the thicker the milk.

Yeah, and-- and-- we're just huge-- huge chunks of butter.

Yeah, we was doing swell back in Texas until the drought

ruined business.

You got to have drought, 'cause that drought ain't-- we have--

we have got to drive back there, but the crick

started squeaking when it run.

Now, boys.

I want you to make this a nice, refined kidnapping.

Sure.

They ain't nothing vulgar about our methods, is it, Elmer?

Oh, no.

You can, you can, you can trust, you can trust--

trust-- we're-- we're OK.

Well, I s-s-sure h-hope so.

Ladies and gentlemen, we bring you

the program starring America's Boyfriend, Tony Page.

Thank you.

I want you folks to be the first to hear the good news.

Tonight, after the broadcast, I'm

going to marry the sweetest girl in the whole world.

I'm dedicating my first number to her-- "I Know You Care."

Confidentially speaking, how do I rate with you?

Are my chances brighter?

Tell me, do.

I would feel like a million, sweetheart, if I but knew you

wanted me the way I want you.

You know you care.

You know you're thinking of me.

Sincerely love me-- that's all I care.

To know you care, to feel your warm embraces, to know my place

is beside you there makes a world

of difference underneath the sun, when two

hearts together beat as one.

Please let me share the thrill of your caresses.

My happiness is to know you care.

Ladies and gentlemen, we interrupt

the program just a moment to bring

you an important news bulletin.

This evening, Miss June Delaney was kidnapped by two armed men,

who seized her in front of the Madison home,

forced her into a car, and drove off.

Any person having information as to the whereabouts

of Miss Delaney will please communicate with the police.

Wilbur, you sure got this town in an uproar.

I think I did a pretty good job, myself.

I still don't like the idea of that Delaney dame

using my club as a hideout.

What if the cops crack down on us?

It's just like I told ya.

tomorrow night.

By that time, the Swedish dame will be on the boat,

and we send June back to Tony with love and kisses.

Well, ten grand is ten grand.

I guess we can take a chance. Come in.

We got the, we got girl, we got the-- knock knock,

there she is.

Keith, this is Miss Delaney, your guest for the weekend.

Oh, yeah.

Hi.

I promise not to make any trouble.

You'll find me a very reasonable customer.

That's OK with me.

But I think you're taking a big chance to keep

some guy from getting married.

Well, if it works.

Well, just to kill some time, let's start a poker game.

Poker? Oh, no.

I never played it before in my life.

-Really? -Yeah.

It's a cinch.

All you gotta do is get the right cards.

I'll be back in time for the payoff.

I've got to get a glass of milk.

Vitamins.

Hm.

Well, I get his lot then, yes?

Great work.

That's great-- you accumulated back all the money you paid us.

Yeah.

Well, looks like they've given up.

Hey, I thought you two guys were big shots.

Well, if you think we're a little fizzlewillies,

you've got another c-c-c-coming thinking.

Yeah.

Our sis is the one that teached us how to be plenty tough.

One day, she walked into town to deposit her egg money

in the bank, and then she stepped in the bank, fifty bank

robbers armed with shotguns, machine guns,

stepped in.

You, me.

Dear me, give me your gold, outlaw snoop

the outlaw-- map.

Yeah, and our sis seen what was happening and started swinging.

And the first thing you know, she'd knocked out ten of them

down the steps, colder than a wagon tire.

Her name was Scrawny.

Next thing we seen ever, she come marching down Main Street

with both arms full of them machine guns, and all of them

bank robbers walking ahead of her

with gunny sacks over their heads.

Yeah.

And then the sheriff just give her all them machine guns.

"Just for a reward."

She learned how to shoot them, too.

She used to set up a tin can at the bottom of the mountain

and start with one of these here machine guns and cuts

loose and just roll it right up over the top.

She sure did, and just like--

Yeah, we-- we got through, we could shoot that damn things

pretty good, too.

Me and Oscar just set them machine

guns up on the back porch, and cut

corn, cleanup--

Yeah.

Just like this.

Why, we're the best-- we're the best

machine gunners in the country, and we

ain't s-scared of nothing.

Hi, Keith.

Come in.

Game's wide open.

Sure.

I got a hunch it's my lucky day.

Now, Miss Delaney, you can't quit while you're winning.

Well, I think you'd better excuse me.

Hey, what's this dame doing here?

Why, she's a houseguest at the Furnace Club over the weekend.

Miss Delaney, Mr. Wilson.

Houseguest, huh?

Well, that's perfect.

Let go.

You're hurting my arm.

Take it easy, buddy.

What's wrong with ya?

You know who she is?

I never saw this man before in my life.

You mean, you wish you'd never seen me before.

Sit down.

She tipped off our bus racket.

I hired her for a shill.

Why, she's got enough dirt to turn the whole gang

up the river for life.

You mean, she's mixed up with the insurance company?

Sure.

She's old man Madison's niece.

She's going into court next week and telling

everything she knows.

Thanks for saving us the trouble of finding you.

We'll just see to it that you don't get to that trial

next week.

Lock her up.

Where do you two think you're going?

We're going after our--

We're going after our sister, Scrawny.

Sit down.

We'll sit down when we're good and ready.

Sit down!

You sat down.

Well, we was ready.

Hello? Hello.

Tony?

This is Wilbur.

I'm at the Furnace Club.

Listen, Tony.

June's in trouble.

Yeah, they're going--

OK, Wilbur, get going.

Yeah.

Sure.

Hello?

Hello?

Wilbur?

Hello?

Furnace Club.

Hey, Jim.

You know that guy, Tony Page?

Sure.

Well, if he tries to get into the club tonight, stop him.

OK.

Dan's got a swell idea for a publicity stunt tonight--

the first time a couple has ever been married

on the floor of a nightclub.

Take it upstairs to our lady guest.

OK.

Ladies and gentlemen, we offer you the most novel feature

ever to happen at a nightclub.

Two throbbing hearts will be united

to the music of Teddy Winston and his Furnace

Club.

Here's your grub.

I can't eat.

Me noise is all unstrung.

How did you get here?

Never mind how I got here.

How are we going to get out of here?

Hey, hey.

What do you want?

There's Tony Page!

Miss Delaney!

Just get us out of here!

Hey!

You can't do that!

Step up, ladies and gentlemen.

Dan Walters, owner of the Furnace Club,

has offered a furnished apartment

to the first couple that gets married on this dance floor

tonight.

Come on, folks.

Get married at the Furnace Club, and live like a king,

with Big Dan paying all the bills.

Come on.

Sergeant O'Hara?

This is Wilbur Corrigan.

Listen.

Walters' gang has got June Delaney and Tony Page

down here.

Yeah!

At the Furnace Club.

What's wrong with you folks?

Here's Judge Carter all ready to tie

the knot, a clerk to hand out the license.

Come on, folks.

People are still getting married.

Why not you?

Ah!

Here's a happy young couple.

Ladies and gentlemen!

Here is love in person.

Would you step right down this way, please?

-Is this the happy pair? -Sure.

It'll only take a minute, folks. Just sign the license.

We'll go ahead with the ceremony.

Tony, we can't do this.

We get a thousand dollars against our lives.

Go ahead.

When that guy comes off the floor, get him.

Join hands, please.

Sure.

Well, reckon Scrawny would b-be proud of us now.

Do you, Anthony Page, take June Delaney

to be your lawful wedded wife, and to love and honor her

during the natural course of your life?

I do.

Well, no, he doesn't. He can't!

Oh, yes, I do!

Do you, June Delaney, take Anthony Page

to be your lawful wedded husband,

promise to love and honor him during the natural course

of your life? -No!

If you don't say yes,

the natural course of your life will be about 10 minutes.

Well, all right.

Yes.

Right this way, Sergeant!

By virtue of the authority vested in me as Judge

of the Municipal Court of this city,

I pronounce you man and wife.

Congratulations, Mr. Page.

How soon can we have this marriage annulled?

There's no argument, Madison.

I want my $300,000.

But I'm willing to have the marriage annulled.

It's no use.

The harm's been done.

Ardmore, you brute.

Here you go, building schoolhouses

all over the country, and how do you expect to get them

filled if you act like this?

I'll make you a sporting proposition.

Young man, I'm not interested.

Oh, yes, you are.

She's a grand little singer.

Beulah!

I thought you meant me.

June's a grand little singer.

And if we went on the air together,

we'd make my own program sound like an--

I never want to speak to you again.

Quiet, Mrs. Page.

You will sing and like it.

Why, I think it's a beautiful idea.

The Singing Sweethearts-- that's what you'd be.

Right.

And our first number will be "You Are My Rosebud."

Oh, Tony.

I've always wanted to be a bust in the Hall of Fame.

You're a bust right now.

I wouldn't even consider the idea.

J. Ardmore Potts, this is my great chance.

And no!

Nobody's going to stop me!

Oh, how about it, Potts?

If we don't knock the country for a loop, I'll pay you.

Well, I--

Ardmore!

All right.

It's a deal.

I give you the Singing Sweethearts,

Mr. and Mrs. Tony Page.

Sweet lips, kiss my blues away.

Sweet lips, bring good news my way.

There's some sweet something your kisses possess that makes

me lose my loneliness.

Sweet lips, kiss my blues away.

What makes your two lips can break.

The satisfaction when they're in action.

Sweet lips, kiss my blues away.