All language subtitles for MV5BMTYzMzEzNjk4MF5BMl5B

- Soon it'll be
time for me to go.

I wasn't a great communicator,

but I communicated great things.

- [Reporter] Pete Rose finally
agreed yesterday to a deal

in which he dropped his
suit against baseball.

- [Reporter] And that the
Menendez brothers acted

out of fear.

- I'm not a good mathematician,

but I imagine it'll be about,

I would think probably
5,000 a month.

- [Reporter] President
and Mrs. Bush welcomed

King of Pop, Michael Jackson
to the White House today.

- [Reporter] Earlier this year,

Amy pleaded guilty
to a lesser charge

for the shooting of
Buttafuoco's wife, Mary Jo.

- My fellow Americans,
this is our time.

Let us embrace it, we must
do what America does best.

- [Reporter] We are
standing on the steps

of the courthouse here
in downtown Los Angeles

waiting for the
arrival of Heidi Fleiss

who's now been dubbed
the Hollywood Madam.

- [Man] You know,
Heidi Fleiss then?

- [Reporter] Here we go.

- [Reporter] Power
and corruption.

[people chattering]

- [Heidi] The worst thing
about being on trial

is you have to get up early.

I wasn't used to that.

- Heidi.
- Heidi.

- [Reporter] How
do you feel about

being dubbed the
Hollywood Madam?

- [Reporter] Miss Fleiss,
will you cop a plea?

- Hi, guys.

- [Reporter] How do you
like your chances today?

- You know what?

Usually you wait till
after for my comments.

- [Reporter] What about
Charlie Sheen, seen him lately?

- Only in the movies.

- [Reporter] How
about your clients?

- [Heidi] There were so
many articles later on,

and they all got it so wrong.

There will never be
another 27-year-old

who ran the sex
business the way I did.

I met Princess Diana, I had
lunch with the First Lady.

When "Time" or
"Newsweek" came out

with the cover of the
10 highest-paid CEO's

in the country, half of
them were my clients.

[camera clicking]

And how did I meet
them, you ask?

First I met my boyfriend

who took me to his
friend, the madam.

She looked after
girls, lots of girls.

Through her I began to
date men, lots of men.

They made me money,
a lot of money.

And life began to move
fast, really, really fast.

It became a blur of dollars,
dicks, drugs and deceit.

And that's what got me here.

But wait, we've gotten
way ahead of ourselves.

Let's slow down, take a breath
and start from the beginning.

[tape squeaking]

I've always had a
thing for older men.

The first one was my dad.

Sometimes I had a feeling
that he was conducting

some weird, complex experiment

with me and my
brothers and sisters.

But only he knew what it was.

- You jerk.
- Kids, kids.

Heidi, stop this nonsense.

- It's all right.

All right guys,
everybody, everybody.

Hold it, hold it, hold it.

It does not help to be punitive.

The whole blame
thing, I just hate it.

- Okay, Mr.
Pediatrician, this isn't

one of your child-care
theories, this is real life.

- Mom's right, Mom's right.
- Off.

- Just that one
thing this family

does not need Elissa, guilt.

You know what, Heidi?

You can throw one pea at Daddy.

One, just one.

[dog barking]
[children laughing]

Sorry.

[air whooshing]

- You're at the Weisman's right?

- I hate that little Mikey.

- [Friend] I know,
he's such a brat.

- Pay attention.

You're at the
Frieberg's Friday night.

Be there by 7:00, okay?
- Okay.

- And you still owe me my
commission from last time.

- Heidi, you've got
this whole neighborhood

organized for babysitting.

- I know.

[air whooshing]

- Heidi, Heidi.
- Coming, Mom.

What's so important?
- We have to talk.

- Okay.

- Paul and I are splitting up.

Your father and I
don't belong together.

- Don't you love him anymore?

So my folks split up.

A few years later, I
dropped out of college

and got a real estate license.

- Let's go, cutie.
- It was the end of the '80s.

- There's my girl.
- Stock market had tanked,

and everybody said the big
party in America was over.

I always had my own agenda.

I was always looking
for something else.

- Beautiful, baby.

[passerby gasping]

Hey, mind your own business,
she's an orphan, of divorce.

- How are you?

- Fabulous,
fantastic, wonderful.

Heidi, where you
going? [laughing]

- [Heidi] Ivan.

- Heidi, come on.

Come on, dance for me, honey.

- [Heidi] What, like that?

- Ooh, you're so
pretty honey, come on.

- [Heidi] You can put the
best-looking 22-year-old guy

in front of my face,
and it's just like, ugh.

- [Ivan] Let me
see Heidi, come on.

- [Heidi] To me, an older guy

is much more of
a sexual turn-on.

I'm talking like someone
so old he needs a walker.

- Ivan.

I really didn't know
how old Ivan was.

Anywhere over 40 is
the right age for me.

- Take that thing off.

- [Heidi] Besides I loved his
condo his boat, his Mercedes.

- Come on, let me see, Heidi.

- We passed the restaurant.

- So, big deal.

- I heard Bowie goes there.

- [laughing] Little Heidi,
so curious, so impatient.

Maybe one day
she'll grow a brain.

- Excuse me, I may be a
dropout but I'm not an airhead.

- No more than most women.

- [scoffing] Nice.

[car screeching]
[cats meowing]

Alex was the greatest
madam in Hollywood,

but nobody knew about her.

I think there was something
really cool about that.

- Alex, here you go.

And this is the beautiful
Heidi I told you about.

- Hi.

I love your house.

You see, Ivan and
Alex hated each other

but went through this pretense
of being the best of friends.

Or maybe they loved each other

and pretended they couldn't
stand each other's guts.

- Oh, thank you.
- It was confusing.

Anyhow, everybody thought Alex

was a nice old lady with a cold.

Truth was she was
usually whacked out
of her gourd on blow.

I don't think she'd
been out of her house

since Ford was President.

- Thanks.
- What's that?

Well, for the tickets,
Paris, London, Hong Kong.

- Who are they for?
- Some lucky girls.

- Sell your pussy,
see the world.

[Ivan laughing]

- You don't have a credit card?

- I haven't had a bank
account in 20 years.

- Why not?

- That's how the IRS. Find you.

- You know, the
banks and, okay the,

you know, what we
discussed earlier.

- Heidi, you wanna work for me?

- [laughing] Excuse me?

- I don't think you've
discussed this with Heidi.

[dramatic flourish music]

I'm running a business,
I don't do social work.

- [Ivan] Alex, she's cute.

And by the way,
great in the sack.

- [Alex] You'd screw
anything, wouldn't you?

- [Ivan] You're always
telling me, "I need girls.

Ivan, find me girls. "

- [Alex] Yes, yes, but I'm
not desperate, you know.

Come on Ivan, on a
scale of one to 10,

she doesn't even make a five.

- [Ivan] Think psychology,
think about your clients.

- [Alex] What do you mean?

- Heidi will remind your
studio execs of their wives.

- Or their daughters.
[Heidi chuckling]

- [Ivan] There you go.

- So what do you think,
just like Raquel, right?

- Fabulous.
[cat meowing]

450.

- I got killed on
that Chargers game.

- My God, what is this?

- It's called a finder's fee.
- Correct.

- Ivan am I wrong, or did
you just sell me to Alex?

- Heidi, tell me, do I look
like a man who needs $450?

[hands slapping]
- You son of a bitch.

- [Ivan] Heidi, calm down.

You're taking this
the wrong way.

- Who do you think
you are, you bastard?

- Calm down, listen
to me a second.

You're a groupie, you
go out and screw anybody

with a big name for a lousy
Caesar salad on Sunset.

You may as well get paid for it.

- I won't do it.
- Why not?

Do you know who her clients are?

Do you have any idea?

It would put us right in
the middle of everything.

- Ivan, please don't
make me do this.

- I'm not making
you do anything.

If you wanna do it, you do it.

If not, you don't.
- Good.

- Okay, fine.

Then no more fun
at the racetrack,

if you can't pay the bookie.

- You know what, right
now I'm really turned on.

[soft sultry music]

Talk dirty to me. [gasping]

- You like that.

Little whore, little bitch.

- I'm your little bitch.

[Heidi moaning]

- [Ivan] Oh, absolutely.

- So I end up sending
three of my top girls

direct to the set in
Malta for two nights.

- So I guess he's
not gay after all.

- Gracias.
- Not this week.

Is that enough for you?

- That's good, good.

Same time next week?

- My greens.

- Always a pleasure, Alex.
- Excellent.

Heidi, Glen, Heidi.
- Hi.

His name is Glen Feather.

He worked for a
national tabloid.

He had seen a few too many
black-and-white movies

about reporters.

Celebrities have to pay for sex?

- Hollywood girls are tough.

Even if a guy is a celebrity,

you know they're not
gonna screw him for long

unless he marries them or
gives them a career break.

These days a guy can
spend $300 on dinner

three nights running
and still not get laid.

- They don't pay you
for the sex, you know.

They pay you to leave.

[Heidi chuckling]

[sultry jazzy music]

- [Heidi] Alex said I had a
lot to learn about being sexy.

That's how I met Lauren, she
was supposed to teach me.

Lauren was once married
to a huge rock star.

She lasted with him
for about three months.

- You wanted to see me?

[Alex mumbling]

- [Heidi] But hey,
that's rock and roll.

- Hi, I'm Lauren.

- Hi, let me make
you more comfortable.

- No, do something with her.

She looks like hell.

♪ That's the look
that's the look ♪

♪ The look of love

♪ That's the look
that's the look ♪

♪ The look of love

♪ That's the look
that's the look ♪

♪ The look of love

♪ Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa

- [Heidi] Rodeo Drive, men
came from all over the world

and they were totally horny.

They thought there was something
magic about Beverly Hills.

And me and the rest of
Alex's girls were there,

just waiting, ready to
take their money from them.

♪ The look of love

- Alex is great, isn't she?

- You think so?

We're just slabs
of meat for her.

- I don't know, she's
so on top of it.

So how'd you get into this?

- After my marriage broke up,

I decided to become an actress.

[laughing] Good luck.

- Tough, huh?

- I auditioned for everything.

I auditioned for
soaps, for commercials.

I couldn't even
book a Depends ad.

Working for Alex is way
better than waitressing.

What about you?

- I want everything, the best.

- [Lauren] What do you mean?

- The best house, best
cars, the best clothes,

the most beautiful lovers.

I wanna hang with the best
people and get paid for it.

- He needs you to stay
five minutes more,

he pays one full hour.

He needs you dress up,
nurse, Nazi, he pays extra.

He wears a rubber all the time.

[telephone ringing]

- What if he's a talker?
- Hello.

- Hello, Alex.
- Bill.

- [Bill] I was thinking
about some coming up there.

- How many girls?
- Three this time.

- The usual hotel?

- [Bill] Yeah, the
pink one on Sunset.

- For how long?

- Just a night.

- $5,000, bye-bye.

If he's talker, if he wants
to bitch about his wife,

that's extra,
nothing is for free.

- Mr. Mendel [speaking Spanish]

- [speaking Spanish]
You'll like Mendel.

- Mendel.
- You wanted to see me?

- Yes, can you take a
seat outside, please?

I'll be about five minutes.

When my little girls are bad,
Mendel spanks them for me.

So there they were,
they found his rubbers.

They filled them with water,

thought they were
balloons, you know?

Then dropped them all
over the Persian carpet.

I gave him such a good
story for his wife.

- [laughing] Alex, I
love talking to you.

- Sure, now you're
going to learn

the most important thing
you'll ever learn from me.

- Shoot.
- Keep your mouth shut.

The client knows about me,
I know about the client.

Nobody else knows anything.

- [Heidi] I know how
to keep a secret.

- Heidi, you're smart.

[telephone ringing]

- Hello. -

- I got a piece of business
for you, don't mess up.

- Okay.

♪ I can see right through you

♪ 'Cause what you
want she can go buy ♪

♪ You go way too fast

♪ If you don't slow down
you're gonna crash ♪

I gotta tell you, I was nervous.

I was afraid the
guy might need me

to do some weird,
perverted sex act

with a Rottweiler or something.

♪ 'Cause I'm not
listening anyhow ♪

♪ I know if I do

Felt like I was in
the middle of an OD.

My heart was beating
like a damn drum.

♪ Got no words of sympathy

♪ Then I go around with you

♪ You know that I've
been messed up too ♪

I've been hanging out with
rock stars since I was a kid.

They were right at the top

of the sexual pecking
order in Hollywood.

Alex's girls thought they
were gods or something.

To me they were just
another bunch of guys

who would screw mud if
nothing else was around.

- Alex sent me.
- Hey.

- Some of the guys
were partying?

- We'll make the record
company eat it, right?

- [Heidi] Naturally.

- Backstage at the Greek
a couple of years back.

I remember, you liked my tattoo.

- What does it say again,
forever is not enough?

- Very good.

What was your name again?
- Heidi.

['80s new wave pop music]

[client gasping]

- It's 1,500.

- [chuckling] That seems high.

- You get what you pay for.

- Come on man, aren't
you happy to see me?

- Absolutely, but you know
what? I need to be paid.

- Man, like you
should be paying me.

- Excuse me?

All right, catch you later man.

♪ You know that I
can't get past ♪

♪ The tragic

- Wait.

- Lonely at the top, huh?

[air whooshing]

[Heidi moaning]

Oh, yeah.

- Tasty little one, aren't ya?

- Go again?

[slow sultry music]
[air whooshing]

♪ Relax don't do it

♪ When you wanna go to it

At the age of 22, I traveled
the world first-class

and got paid for it.

♪ When you wanna come

I ate, slept, shopped, toured

and enjoyed the
finest of everything.

♪ Relax don't do it

Most people save their
entire lives to do that.

Or they never get a chance.

♪ When you wanna come

♪ Relax

♪ Don't do it

♪ Relax

♪ When you wanna come

- [Alex] The client is waiting.

♪ Come

♪ Whoo

[Heidi moaning]

♪ Ah ah ah ah ah

♪ I'm coming I'm coming

♪ Hey hey hey

- [Heidi] You like that?

♪ Relax don't do it

♪ When you wanna suck to it

♪ Relax don't do it

♪ When you wanna come

♪ Relax don't do it

♪ When you wanna suck to it

♪ Relax don't do it

♪ When you wanna come

- Heidi.
- It's good.

♪ When you wanna come

♪ When you wanna come

♪ Come

[safe door clanging]

- How about some sneakers?

- Just bought these.
- Tacky.

- Heidi, I'm not
really interested

in all this materialistic crap.

- I just would like
to buy a present

for my little brother, okay?

- I'm not like you, Heidi.

I don't worship at the
temple of consumption.

- You know what, Jase?

You don't have to come on
like some plaster saint, okay?

- Where'd you get that dough?

You're usually so broke you
can't even afford tampons.

- Keep a secret?
- Of course.

- Guys pay me to
have sex with them.

What, you don't believe me?

- [Jason] Wow.

- It's from the
richest guy in Brazil.

I like to wear it
with sweatpants
'cause I look so Arab.

The one constant
in this business

were the Hollywood regulars.

But there was nothing
regular about Steve.

♪ Set the summer sun on fire

- Jesus, they just
keep getting younger.

♪ I want candy

♪ I want candy

- I'm sorry, ladies. It
just ain't happening.

- I'm all out of ideas.
- Oh, don't cry, dear.

Better women all over the world

have tried and
failed at the task.

- Wait a minute, let's
have a fantasy night.

- Fantasy is my business.
- Mine too.

[soft sultry music]

Like any other producer,

Steve needed to be
pitched a good story.

- All right, so how're we
gonna make it, kiddies?

- First, you'll be walking
that red carpet in Cannes

with Lauren and Charisse.

- What about you, Heidi?

- Heidi will be there too,
when you get the Palm d'Or.

Then you'll all go back
to a fabulous hotel suite.

- Sounds promising.

- Your phone will be ringing
with offers, like nonstop.

Then Lauren will take
her big, long tongue

and lick you all over.

And Charisse will open
her beautiful mouth.

That's when the
White House calls

for advice on foreign policy.

- Yeah?

- That's where I
make my entrance.

I'll present you with the award

for Outstanding
Male Performance.

[group moaning]
[water splashing]

- That was a very nice
weekend, thank you.

- Thank you.

- Heidi, see you
soon, huh? [growling]

[soft unsettled music]

[girls laughing]

- Oh man, there's
probably $40,000 in here.

How's that for two days' work?

- Oh, let me see.
- Oh.

- I'm going to the track.

- How can he afford that?

- Duh, Steve can afford anything
his little heart desires.

- Especially you, you idiot.

[women laughing]

- The big money was in being
sent to the foreigners.

If only my Hebrew school
teacher could see me now.

[doorbell buzzing]

['80s funky pop music]

Your order is here
from Madam Alex.

- Please, do come in.

[light classical music]

- You may sit.
- Okay.

- May I offer you a
glass of bordeaux?

I think you'll like it.

I own an interest
in the vineyard.

- So what's your name?

- You may call me Prince Hassan.

- May I?
- Yes, I'm from Saudi.

Though I lived in
London for many years.

- Then guess that means
we don't have to sweep

for any bombs or anything.

Or not really, that'd
be kind of silly.

- We're not in
Palestine, dear girl.

- Hello, you mean Israel?

- I certainly don't
mean the Zionist Entity.

- Where'd you get that
from, Vanessa Redgrave?

- I don't need some actress's
help to know the facts.

- What is it with
you guys anyhow?

What do you want,
for God's sakes?

I mean, besides a
heap of dead Jews?

- Out.
- You're kidding?

- Get the hell out of here,
you wretched little girl.

- No meaningful dialogue
on Middle Eastern issues?

- Immediately.

- Asshole.

[traffic zooming]

You're not listening
to me, Ivan.

- This is terrible.

- You know, that's what
attracts me so much about you,

your intense interest in my day.

Jesus, Ivan.

- Police officers and
civilian personnel.

- Pretty soon we have
communism in this country.

- Whatever.

- That is key for
Alex's business.

All these cops from way back,
there's gonna be a shakedown.

You should pay attention.

- You don't even
wanna hear about

what happened with this jerk?

- So you messed up, big deal.

When a guy is turned on,

he doesn't give a shit
about a broad's politics.

Just open your mouth
when you have to.

There you go. [laughing]

- Trust me, I don't need you
telling me how to be a hooker.

- Heidi, listen to
me, learn something.

You'd be a great madam.

[Heidi chuckling]

No I'm serious, significantly
better than Alex.

I can see this in you.

- You're nuts.

- She's a horrible,
horrible person.

Alex is old and cranky.

She's not gonna
last much longer.

Hey, come on, cutie
pie. [laughing]

- [Heidi] Not all of
Alex's clients Were johns.

- That payola bust
is ancient history.

- Goddamn it, you know I worked
for you guys for 20 years.

If you're my handler,
you should know about

that heroin case I
put Hutchins onto.

- Hutchins is retired.

- I know that, he was so stupid

he couldn't bust Peewee Herman.

- [chuckling] Well, you're
a lot smarter than him.

You got that right.

- You gotta be smart
to stay in my business.

- And a little bit mean?

- It's a mean world.

- Well the way I see it,
you've been taking a free ride

for about five years now.

That's gonna stop.

- What about the porn ring?

Everybody in the US
Attorney's office

knows I made that case.

- Oh geez Alex, you're
talking about past history.

Now lately, you haven't
given us even but a nibble.

Why is that?

- Too many people
know I work for you.

I have enough
enemies, believe me.

♪ No secrets to reveal

♪ It doesn't matter
what they say ♪

- Alex forgets why we
let her stay in business.

They don't like that downtown.

So we're about to
close out the account.

- Right.

♪ Our lips our sealed

- [Willeford] I never understood

what your beef with
Alex is anyhow.

- Money.
- What, she owes you?

- Other way around.

Believe me, this
way is a lot easier.

- [Heidi] Meet Michelle,
one of Alex's trusted girls.

Alex once told me to
keep my friends close

and my enemies closer.

Neither of us paid
any attention.

- [Alex] My greens.

♪ Hey hey hey

- 1500.
- Thank you Alex.

- Bye-bye.

♪ Pay no mind to what they say

- So okay, I go to this guy's
office on the studio lot.

We have a couple of
glasses of champagne,

and he's practically
screwing me on his desk.

- Mr. Family Values,
"People" magazine.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah,
exactly, whatever.

So by this point, he's
had enough champagne

to get a goddamn
elephant blasted.

And get this, he wants me
to spank his little tushie.

- I didn't know
he was a spanker.

Good girl, what next?

- So I did, I spanked him with
his old lady's riding crop.

[laughing] Oh and by the
way, before I forget,

he's like that.
- What's new?

- [Michelle] So then I
go to go down on the guy

and the next thing I know
he goes completely rigid

and he looks at me and he says,
"No oral sex, I'm Catholic."

[Michelle and Alex laughing]

- Guy must have a goddamn
broomstick up his ass.

Let's go.

[tape squeaking]
[tires squealing]

[fist pounding]

- [Officer] Alex
Adams, open up, LAPD.

Open up.

- It's the cops.
- The cops?

- Thank you.
- Alex?

- [Officer] Upstairs, let's go.

- What the hell is going on?

Alex, Alex, what
is going on here?

- Miss, please.
- Stop it.

- [Officer] Miss, do not resist.

- Let go, Alex,
get up out of bed.

- [Officer] Come on, get up.

- Ow, oh, ah.

You didn't even warn
me, you rat bastard.

Not even a whisper.

- Life's a bitch, right?

- [Prostitute] Stop it.

[cash register dinging]

- [Guard] You got two minutes.

- [chuckling]
What's with the hat?

- They have me
mopping floors, Heidi.

With my bad heart
and my diabetes.

Do you know I sell my
house to raise bail?

One million dollars.

I need you to take calls
for me at Ivan's place.

- Let's talk about it
some other time, okay?

- You've no idea how
much money lawyers cost.

I cannot be out of
business for one day.

- [sighing] Jesus Alex, be cool.

We're probably on tape here.

- Then will you help me?
- Don't worry.

- Help me, Heidi.

- Alex, you know I love you.

[air whooshing]

[soft '80s pop music]

- So what do you think?

- [Heidi] What about LAPD?

- Just play the game, it
will take care of itself.

- [Heidi] Yeah?

- I've been dealing
with them for years.

Look at it this way, you
won't have to go down

on any more guys.

- Except you, of course.

- [Ivan] [laughing] My pleasure.

- What about Alex?

- They're sending her to a
resort spa for retired madams.

It's a great opportunity
I'm giving you.

- How would it work?

- Same as it does
now, but there'd be

a shit load of money for
everybody, believe me.

- I can't screw Alex like
that, it isn't right.

- Oh please, right,
wrong, don't be naive.

- You're such a prick.

- Things change in this
business, plans change.

People come, people go.

- What business are
we talking about,

show business or hooking?

- Same thing.

- So what are you saying?

- You will take over Alex's
business, and with my help

become the most powerful
woman in Hollywood.

[Heidi laughing]
[soft '80s pop music]

- [Heidi] When meeting Steve,

it was always good
to bring dessert.

[Italian opera music]

[patrons chattering]

Steve.

- Well, well, well.

- Want me to get your waiter?

Maybe he can put your
tongue back in your mouth.

- No, don't bother.

All these waiters
have screenplays.

You are?

- Debra, she's from
Texas, started last week.

I know how you love a new face.

- Howdy, partner.
- Hi.

- [Steve] Enchanted.

- My good buddy,
the notorious Steve.

- I've seen all your
movies, this is so great.

- Debra, why don't you go
to the little girl's room.

Steve and I need to
talk a little business.

- But I just sat down.

- Learn to take a goddamn hint.

- Geez.

[Italian opera music]

- Hmm, how much is
this going to cost me?

- You can have her on the house.

- Why?

- 'Cause if it gets
around that you like her,

every horny real estate
agent and dentist

on the West side'll
be phoning me up.

- Heidi, there
has to be a catch.

- There is.

From now on, you won't
be dealing with Alex.

You'll be dealing with me.

- Really?

- You know Alex was busted,
her phones are tapped.

- Why you?

- 'Cause I'm the
only girl she knows

who can add and
subtract, why else?

- Alex Adams, in view of your
health and your past record

of cooperation, I sentence
you to 18 months' probation.

You can count yourself
fortunate to have your freedom.

[gavel pounding]

[worker speaking Spanish]
[cat meowing]

- Hello.
- How's business, Heidi?

- It's uh, kinda slow,
not much to report.

- Where's Steve?

He's good for two or
three calls a week.

- I think he's making
a movie in Russia.

- Russia, big pervert.

- [chuckling] We
don't say pervert.

We say erotically challenged.

- Heidi, don't tell
me nobody in Hollywood

wants to get laid anymore.

- Alex, nobody's calling.

It's like a desert, no kidding.

- So what's going on?

- Everybody's heard
about your bust.

They're so scared
they can't get it up.

[telephone ringing]

Hold on a second.

Hello?
- Heidi, what you got?

- Hey.
- Hey.

♪ This town is our town

♪ This town is so glamorous

♪ Bet you'd live
here if you could ♪

♪ And be one of us

♪ This town is our town

♪ This town is so glamorous

♪ Bet you'd live
here if you could ♪

♪ And be one off us

[Lauren sniffing]

- Go ahead, keep it.

- All of it?

- Certainly, enjoy.
- Thanks.

- Why don't you come
work for me? 65/35 split.

- Are you gonna be the madam?

You're only 23 years old.

- I didn't know there was

like an age requirement
for the gig.

- You got more balls than
the Pittsburgh Steelers.

- I'm offering you five
points better than Alex.

I wouldn't give that
to my own sister.

- We have a lot of
history, me and Alex.

We go way back.

- Months, even.

Do you know Alex is a
snitch for the LAPD?

- No shit.

- 20 years.

Some fat dork's probably
got a jacket on you

six inches thick.

I'd think about that
every time she calls you.

♪ Bet you'd live
here if you could ♪

♪ And be one of us

[cat meowing]
[sirens wailing]

- You greedy, Jew pig.

You are plotting
against my business.

- Alex, what a pleasure.

- You are not satisfied,
you want to have it all.

- Why are you
bothering me with this?

I'm preparing a picture.

- Ha, you haven't
directed a picture

since Randolph Scott
was riding the range.

- Alex, this is Heidi.

- Oh, and you, you
helped this pig

to steal my business, stop.

- Alex, I'm helping you
just like you asked me to.

- Don't try to bullshit
me, you greedy little twat.

I know all the tricks.

You know I invented
most of them,

so why are you trying to
cause all this trouble?

- You screwed me, Alex.

You hardly sent me to the Arabs.

You never sent me to Europe,

and you always took too
big a cut, so screw you.

- Fantastic, where
did that come from?

- Sometimes I really hate
that fat, muumuu slob.

[Ivan laughing]

There was so much money,

even I didn't know
what to do with it.

- Wait, wait, wait.

Wait, wait, wait, wait.

Heidi, how many girls
do, I don't wanna know.

What the hell am I supposed to
do with this amount of money?

- What am I supposed
to do with it?

Stash it in my drawer
underneath my underwear?

I need you to put my
dollars to work for me.

- I've already done that.

I've already bought
your house in my name,

which can be easily explained.

But what you're
suggesting here Heidi,

this is totally illegal.

- Dad, it's not like
you to be so uptight.

- Yeah, well things change.

When will this stop?

- It's like sex, the more
you get, the more you want.

One more year and I'm out.

Please, help me?

[counter whirring]

- Alex, very good to me.

- Let's cut to the
chase, what do you want?

- I like that Charisse.

- Hey, you want
her, you got her.

- It's not a problem.

- You can do that?

- I don't hook anymore,
I'm management now.

I was running a
real girl's camp.

It wasn't like Alex was

such a hard act to
follow or anything.

My girls were
younger and prettier,

and any woman will
tell you size matters,

and I wanted to
get a lot bigger.

And any businessperson
will tell you,

the key to success is volume.

You're gonna have to give
the tickets in advance

this time if you need
the girls in Monte Carlo.

Yes, that's eight
girls, eight tickets.

Then 5,000 a night.

Yes, for each of them, and
don't forget shopping money.

Okay, bye.
[telephone ringing]

Hello? Hi, Councilman.

Oh, I'm so glad.

Listen, one of my girls
got her car towed.

You think you can
help me out, babe?

Thank you, okay bye.

Hello, Hi, Matt.

Yeah, I know I said
I'd get you an invoice

but you've gotta think of a way

to charge it back to production.

[counter whirring]
[car phone ringing]

Hello?
- Heidi?

- Alex, who gave
you this number?

- You can change your
number a thousand times,

I'll always get the new one.

You're in over your head.

You don't know what
you're dealing with.

- Ooh, I'm real scared.

- Well cuff yourself now,
save the cops the trouble.

- I've got it taken care of.

- You sure?

Do you remember Madam Claude?

- From Paris, bad teeth?

- That's the one, she
came to Beverly Hills.

She thought she
could push me out.

And guess what? I'm still here.

[air whooshing]

- Even in the fast lane,
you never quite knew

when you'd be pulled over.

Take care of it.

- LAPD vice, got a second?

- Didn't you talk to Ivan?

- From what I hear,
you're the one to talk to.

- So what's up?

- That's just the
question I wanna ask you.

- Little public, isn't it?

Wanna see my club?

- I'd probably scare
away your customers.

When would be a good time?

- Call me.

♪ The one good thing

♪ Hey hey hey

♪ Didn't stay too long

♪ My back was turned
and she was gone ♪

♪ Good thing where
have you gone ♪

♪ Good thing you've
been gone too long ♪

♪ Good thing

My client base was stable.

The girls were a
bunch of ditzes.

They were always disappearing,

and the clients were
demanding new faces.

Recruiting was hard work, I
had to be my own headhunter.

- Here we go, two
champagne cocktails.

- We're gonna need
another bottle.

- Two bottles, Moet.

- Mick said he was
coming by tonight.

- Great.

Got anything for me, Teddy?

- Down by the bar.

She's been hustling
guys for drinks

for three nights straight now.

- You're the best.

- Hey thanks, thanks a lot.

♪ Good thing

All righty.

♪ Good thing

♪ My my my good thing

♪ Where have you gone

♪ My good thing
where have you gone ♪

♪ My good thing

Hi, I'm Heidi.
- Hey.

- Wanna go to a
party for Billy Idol?

♪ It's been so long

♪ You've been gone too long

I found girls everywhere.

Nice girls, all-American girls,

girls you could
take home to mom.

It looks wonderful on you.

- Yeah, who am I kidding that
I can actually afford it.

- Go on indulge
yourself, I always do.

- Well, maybe in my next life.

- I know how you can afford it.

- He's being such a jerk.

I'll tell you about
it later, okay?

I'll call you tonight, bye.

- Did you think about what
we talked about, Sara?

- Hi.

Heidi, my mom would kill me.

- Do you have a boyfriend?
- Yes.

- He's some kid nobody,
and you screw him

'cause he says he
loves you, am I right?

- I guess so.

- All the guys I know are
really cute and very successful.

It's like a really neat
club, we have a lot of fun.

The tabloids always
came calling for gossip.

I just shined them on.

A lot of people are afraid of
me, and they should have been.

Leaders of countries
called for sex.

If I came out and talked,
I could have stopped NAFTA.

- You're being very
difficult to work with.

I hope you know that.

- I like my clients, Glen.

Why would I rat them out
for tabloid journalism?

- Money.
- I got plenty of money.

I'm not like Alex, I'm trying
to operate on a higher level.

Sure I got a lot of
important friends,

I know a lot about
'em, but I'm loyal.

- Let me explain reality.

You give me celebrity dirt,
and I don't write about you.

- So go ahead and
write about me.

[traffic zooming]

While I was basking in
my newfound celebrity,

Ivan was being overshadowed.

[telephones ringing]

- You can go in now, guys.

- I've been waiting
over 25 minutes.

This really now is
beyond absurd, okay?

- Please, Mr. Nagy, I've
told Jon you're here.

- It's Nagy, Nagy.

- Four times.

- Well, tell him again,
tell him five times.

- Ivan, sorry I'm late.

- Hey, Johnny! [laughing]

Gorgeous, baby.

- Put 5K down for
me on the Trojans

over Stanford on
Saturday, take the points.

- You got it, no problem.

So what about the project?
- Project?

- Well, you know, the
NBC thing, the pilot.

- Oh, didn't I tell you?

The network wants to go
in another direction.

- They passed.

- Everybody wants a brand
name these days, sorry.

- Brand name, it's
a joke, it's a joke.

I can shoot that crap
standing on my head.

- I don't know what to say.

- Well, did you tell them
about "Starsky and Hutch",

"CHiPs", all my movie
of the week credits?

- You're a tough
sell right now, Ivan.

- So I should just
go screw myself.

- Not at all, always
a pleasure Ivan.

- [sighing] Hey, Johnny.

[Heidi sniffing]

- [Heidi] I'm not
gonna be coy with you.

I loved the publicity
I was getting.

It was like being famous
covers you in gold paint,

everything shines.

♪ You're unbelievable

The way I look at it, in
Hollywood if you're not a star,

you don't really exist.

I was getting to be a star.

- Hi.
- Hi.

- You look gorgeous.

- Luther.
- Heidi!

What's happening?

- Mick said he
might stop by later.

Tracy is still buzzing, man.

What did you do to her?
- Oh.

- Let me send Tracy to you
with Debra, how's Friday?

- Oh, I'm in Chicago.

- Look, anyone you want.

You tell me, I'll get 'em.

- Really, any bitch I want?

- How about the
Dancercize girls from TV?

- You can get them cha-chas?

- You know what?
Everybody's for sale.

All it takes is money.

- One night in London.

- Hey Heidi, how about
one of you and Luther?

- Who are you with?
- The "Examiner".

- No problem.

♪ The things you say

- Sir, would you mind
getting out of my shot?

- Why, what's wrong with me?

- Ivan, gimme a break.

♪ The things you say

♪ Your purple prose
just gives you away ♪

♪ The things you say

♪ You're unbelievable

♪ Oh oh oh oh

[camera clicking]

- Have you read this?

It's about your friend Fleiss.

It says, "I'm really the
high end of the high end.

What took Alex years
to build, I did in one.

It's just hard for her to
accept that her ship is sunk

and she's been forced out."

Modest, huh?

- She really said that?

- Of course she really
said that, it's right here.

Who does she think she is?

- Well, she's got
friends at the studios,

City Hall, not to
mention Parker Center.

- I don't care who takes
the loss on this one.

You can either be part of
my team or get out my way.

Which one's it
gonna be, Sergeant?

- You know I'm gonna be there.

- Good, 'cause she's
going down all the way.

[Heidi sniffing]
[Heidi exhaling]

♪ Oh girls just wanna have

♪ That's all they really want

- Where's that housekeeper?

- Rosita?

- She's always out sneaking
a smoke when you need her.

- [Heidi] And then my secret
admirer with a badge showed up.

♪ Girls they wanna have fun

- Ladies.

♪ Oh girls just wanna have fun

♪ Girls they want

We need to talk.

♪ Wanna have fun

♪ Girls wanna have

♪ They just wanna

♪ They just wanna

♪ They just wanna

- I was just gonna call you.
- I bet.

[whistling] Looks
like you're doing

pretty good for yourself.

- Yeah, fat and happy.

But not that fat.

- Rolling in dough, I'd say.

And I guess I oughta
thank you for seeing me.

- So, what can I do for you?

- That Lauren, she's pretty hot.

Wouldn't mind getting to
know her a little better.

How's this afternoon sound?

- Forgot to tell you, we
don't do freebies anymore.

- Yeah? Well, that's too
bad, today's my day off.

- What do you think this
is, a $ 10 cathouse?

Besides, it isn't
fair to the girls.

- That's true, a hooker's
life is no bed of roses.

- That's gonna change.

- You know Heidi, you're trying
to run before you can walk.

- Think so?

- Yeah, let me explain
something to you, all right?

Prostitution is against the law.

- Thank you, I think
I understand now.

- Why don't you
save your smart talk

for somebody else, okay?

Nobody gives much of a
goddamn about the law,

but I am supposed to enforce it.

And it's up to you to
give me a damn good reason

why I shouldn't do my job.

- How about 10,000 a month?

- Screw you.

- How about 50,000?

- I'm not interested.

- Boy you think a lot
of yourself, don't you?

- I'm not talking
about goddamn money.

I'm talking about information.

Now your girls, they
know a lotta pillow talk.

- You mean be a stool pigeon
like Alex was? No way.

- You people never will
understand how this thing works.

Look, you have all of this stuff

because the LAPD
Lets you have it.

You act like it's
yours by right.

Let me tell you something
baby, it ain't yours.

Thanks for seeing me.

[slow uneasy music]

- Wait.
- You bet.

- Rosita. [speaking Spanish]

[soft uneasy music]
[Heidi sniffing]

[telephone ringing]

- Yes?
- It's me.

- Oh my little love,
what do you want?

- I just wanna talk, you
know, like we used to?

- About what, you little bitch?

About how you stole my business?

- I know all this crap has
happened, but I miss you Alex.

You're the only
one on the planet

that knows what
I'm going through.

- Yes, for sure I
am more exciting

than that Eurotrash dickhead.

- I don't know what
to do about Ivan.

- You don't need
that pig, Heidi.

You've moved way
out of his league.

- You mean dump him?

- Of course dump him.

- [Bill] To face problems
too long ignored.

- [Heidi] I started to
throw parties, big parties.

The Brat Pack needed a
hostess, and I was ready.

Hollywood bad boys
all wanted to know me.

Hanging with me helped them
keep up their lousy reputations.

- [Guest] Heidi!

[subtle jazzy music]

- Hi, handsome.
- Hey.

- [Heidi] How you doing?

And I believed in
doing things right.

Why don't you go talk to
Charlie? He's all by himself.

Who knows, maybe he'll
ask you to marry him.

- Yeah, right.

Hey, beautiful.
- Hey, girl.

- Get it in cash.

[crowd chattering]

- Excuse me, I'd like
a drink, thank you.

[crowd chanting]

Fabulous, fantastic, wonderful.

- Thank you.

- [Steve] I spoke to Bill and
Hillary earlier this evening.

I said, "I wanna help you."

- Steve.

- "Get this country
back on track."

- Steve.
- Excuse me, yes.

- Ivan Nagy, Heidi's friend.

- Oh yes, you're the
the bookie, right?

- I wanna send you
a wonderful script.

- [Steve] What for?

- You know, I've
always loved your work.

- What are you, a critic too?

- No no, I'm a
very good director.

- Oh, I thought you were the
Romanian ambassador to Ecuador.

- I see, I'm an asshole.

This is how Steve
deals with assholes.

- Ivan, I need to talk to you.

- One second.
- Right now.

- I'll be right back.

- I can't believe you're
pitching Steve at my party.

- [Ivan] If Steve gets
involved, my picture's a go.

- Now who's being naive?

He comes here to relax, not to
get harassed by some nobody.

- You go through this town
like shit through an eel,

and it's hands off for
Ivan, I don't think so.

- Wait, you told me yourself

on social occasions like
this, nobody talks business.

Are you crazy?

[soft jazzy music]

Things always went
better with coke.

[Heidi sniffing]

- You're putting your
whole life up your nose.

- Oh, don't lay it
off on drugs, Ivan.

We don't have a word to
say each other anymore.

We're like strangers, it's
time for the big adios.

- Heidi, why do you do this?

I love you, I wanna help you.

This is the truth.

- You wouldn't know the truth

if it climbed up your
back and sodomized you.

- I was remembering the night
when we first got together.

I was so inspired, it
was like like moonlight.

- And roses too, I bet.

Please, no gypsy violins.

- And I hate to bring this up,

but I really don't
think you're giving me

a straight count with the money.

What you're bringing
me is not nearly half.

- Jesus Ivan, what
do you want me to do?

Keep books, file with the IRS?

I'm trying to stick
handle 300 girls here.

By the way, is this a
relationship discussion

or a business discussion?

- Both, I would say.

If you were willing
to go into rehab,

I would marry you. [snapping]

- The supreme sacrifice, huh?

- You're a drug addict.

- You know what?
It's too late, Ivan.

Everything's gone way too far.

[soft somber music]

- The business will be
an issue if we split up.

- We can still be partners.

- And friends?

We're going to do that
American friends thing?

- I got a lot of friends.

- Little Heidi, you're so tough.

- Yeah, guess who taught me?

Here's that deposit slip.

- Heidi, I'm very uncomfortable
about the joint account.

I was thinking there
might be a way-

- Don't worry, that house will
be a great investment for us.

- I'm not just talking
about the house.

A year ago, you
said you would stop.

[phone ringing]

- Heidi Fleiss.
- What's up, cutie?

- Ivan, what are you doing?

- [Ivan] Trying to
forget you, honey.

- [chuckling] Yeah,
how's it going?

- Not so hot, I miss you, honey.

Maybe we get back together?

- I'm in a meeting here,
can I call you back?

- No Heidi wait,
we need to talk.

But not on the
phone, understand?

Stay away from your phone.

- Right.

- Meet me tonight for dinner
at 7:00, Walker Hotel.

Okay, honey? Say, "Yes, Ivan."

- Yes, Ivan.
- Okay, honey.

Don't forget, cutie,
it's very important.

- Bye.

Well, got some good news anyhow.

- From Ivan?

- I met somebody.

Brandeis grad, Stanford Law.

- How did you meet?

Never mind, it's
wonderful, that's great.

- I think you'll like him.

- Like him?

I would adore anything
that's ordinary.

- Why shouldn't I have a
normal life like anybody else?

- Nagy.
- To you.

- Are you by yourself
tonight, sir?

- Oh, no no, I'm
expecting a guest.

Thank you.

- [Heidi] [moaning]
Not yet, Alan.

When a guy tells
you he loves you

and he wants to
have babies with you

he means, "I love having
sex with you for free."

[Heidi moaning]

- [Alan] Oh yeah, ah.

- Ah, ah.

There are a lot of things
that Ivan did well.

Being by himself just didn't
happen to be one of them.

- Mm.
- Yes, sir.

- I'll have a vodka
rocks while I'm waiting.

- Coming right up.

- You know what?
Make it a double.

- So, when are you going to
introduce me to Michael Douglas?

- I don't even know if he
even needs a tax lawyer.

I'm just buying his
house from him is all.

- Do you think you're able
to get away for the week?

- I'd love to go
to Aspen with you.

- I got a bunch of
friends you're gonna love.

By the way, you're
a lot prettier

than anybody who works for you.

- Really?

Those flowers you
sent me are sweet.

Oh, shit.

- What's wrong, babe?

- [Heidi] Nothing,
I forgot something.

- Important?
- Not really.

- You know, I can't wait
for you to meet my mom.

She's so happy I finally
met a nice Jewish girl.

- Who the hell do
you think you are?

Bitch.

- [Waiter] You forgot
your gift, sir.

- Keep it.

[soft jazzy music]

[phone ringing]

- Yeah.
- Hello, pig.

I hear Heidi dumped you,

'cause you were dragging
her down socially.

- Why are you phoning me?

- I'm an old friend, Ivan.

It's not nice to lose
touch with old friends.

- Let me give you some advice,
keep out of my private life.

- How long before she cuts
you out of the deal entirely?

You gonna let the little
whore get away with that?

- You don't understand
something about her.

You're not dealing
with a normal mind.

- What do you mean?

- Heidi and I talk
all the time, okay?

We're gonna get
back together soon.

- Oh, that's touching.

You carrying a torch for Heidi.

- You're a very
bitter old woman.

- She's gone, moron.

You know, first she used
me, then she used you.

Now she is discarding you
like a piece of Kleenex.

- Exactly.

- And you are too much of
a limp dick to stop her.

- Exactly.

- [Prostitute] So, yeah,
the party's for Mick?

- Yeah, it's Mick's birthday.

It's gonna be
totally professional.

- Who's going to be there?
- A guest list?

It's going to be about 400.

- Oh, is that all?
- He said a lot.

[crowd chattering]
['80s pop music]

- Joe, hey Joe, how are you?

- [Hostess] Excuse me, sir.

- See you inside.
- No problem.

I'm Heidi's friend.

- I need to check
your name on the list.

- Ivan Nagy, checking in.

- Nudge?
- Nagy, N-A-G-Y.

You pronounce it Naj.

- Sorry sir, I don't
have a Nagy here.

- There must be some
mistake, all right?

Because there's a relationship.

- If you're not on my list
or can show me an invitation,

you cannot enter, sir.

- [laughing] Heidi!

- Please, keep your voice
down, voice down sir.

- Take your hands
off of me, all right?

You people think just because-

- You people, you people what?

- Hey, I sincerely apologize.

I'm Hungarian, I'm
not a racist, okay?

I did a documentary in 1968

for Hungarian television
about Bobby Seale.

- Must have missed it.

- I'm going to have to
ask you to step away

from Ms. Fleiss' property, sir.

If you like, I'll call
the Beverly Hills Police

and you can discuss
it with them.

- [Ivan] Get off, I'm going.

[tires squealing]

- [Heidi] In one
second, the same person

who tells you they love
you will turn around

and make your life
a living hell.

They will destroy you.

- [Ivan] Alex!

[fist pounding] Alex!

[fist pounding]
[dog barking]

- Bastard, you woke
up all my cats.

- Something must be
done about Heidi.

She's out of control.

- Now you want me to help you.

What happened to me
should happen to her.

- That's true.

It's not easy getting
a pandering conviction,

she knows people.

- I know how to get Heidi.

[air whooshing]

[water splashing]

- [Employee] Heidi, Heidi.

- Hello?

- Heidi.
- Yeah.

- It's Nicky Akai,
you know, from Hawaii?

- Remind me.

- We met at the
Rangoon Racquet Club.

- I remember now.

- Some of my business
associates are going

to be in Los Angeles
for a couple days.

I wonder if you could help me
out with the entertainment.

Just call me when you get into
town, it won't be a problem.

- And how much will
it be for a night?

- 5,000 a girl.

- And what do I get for that?

- Everybody's gonna
have a good time.

Every hooker's
dream, a hotel suite

filled with rich,
horny businessmen.

Heidi-land was always
on the itinerary.

[energetic '80s pop music]

- Here we are.
- Please come in.

These are my
business associates.

- Hi.

[men chattering]

- Ah, so what are
you boys looking for?

- Now you take off clothes.

[zippers scratching]

[men chattering]

Okay, now you dance.

- We need some music.

[lounge-y dance music]

Faster, more sexy.

- [Officer] Okay ladies,
get some clothes on.

We're outta here, come on.

Come on, let's go.

- Los Angeles police officers,
you're all under arrest.

- [Heidi] If you're going
to run an illegal business,

you'd better be
driving the best car,

living in the best house,
screwing the best-looking people

and spending every
dollar you make.

Because sooner or later,
you're going to get caught.

- LAPD, everybody
stay where you are!

Everybody just relax.

You won't make it out of the
driveway, so don't bother.

- Nobody move!
- You, you!

[women screaming]

- I was just-
- Relax.

- [Officer] Take it
easy, into the house.

- [Heidi] When the cops came,

it was like we were a
bunch of armed terrorists.

- [Officer] No, no, no,
no, no, no you don't.

No, you don't.

[Heidi panting]

- Settle down.

[unsettled expectant music]

- [Officer] Everybody
inside, open the door.

- I'll only wear
cuffs if you pay me.

Let go of me.

- What the hell are you doing?

- Putting you out of business.

- Why don't you
stop bothering us

and arrest some real criminals?

[unsettled expectant music]
[officers chattering]

[tires squealing]

[reporters chattering]

- Heidi!
- Oh Heidi, Heidi.

Face and handcuffs,
we need both.

- Shit, I can't take this.

Can't you do something?

- I can take you around back.

- Stop, might as well
get it over with.

[reporters chattering]

- [Reporter] Will you turn over

your client list to authorities?

- [Reporter] Over here, Heidi!

- I've heard people offered
you one million dollars

to buy that black book from you.

Are you the Hollywood Madam?

Is it true you were paid more
than $3,000 for sexual favors?

- [Willeford] Back off.

- Heidi, do you have
a comment at all?

- Who are you with?

- "The New York Times".

- "CBS".
- "Sunday Telegraph". -

We're all here.

- [Reporter] Just hold
on Heidi, just hold it.

- Well boys, where
do you want me?

[camera clicking]

[crowd chattering]
[mellow jazzy music]

- Excuse me, girls.
- Nice party Ivan.

- Thank you, excuse me.

Charisse.
- Hi Ivan.

- Oh, I'll take one.

- Lauren, you look beautiful.

- [laughing] I got the invite,
so what's the big occasion?

- Didn't you hear? Heidi
got arrested yesterday.

- Funny time to throw a party.

- It's the happiest day
of my life. [laughing]

- That's what I love
about you, Ivan.

No grudges, no hard feelings.

[Ivan laughing]

- Heidi, we have wiretaps,
transcripts, witnesses.

You're looking at a whole
lot of jail time, Heidi.

- Why don't we talk
about how the LAPD

doesn't bust madams who
exchange information?

- Oh that might be
embarrassing Heidi,

except I know you can't prove
anything in a court of law.

- I'd like to see what a good
lawyer would say about that.

Oh, and by the way, how
many johns are you busting

while you're busting me?

- Nothing is gonna stop this
case from going to trial.

You're too big, Heidi.

- Why do you keep saying
my name like that?

You sound like a car salesman.

- Listen to me.

There is a seven-foot
bull dyke in Lompoc

who's just a-dying to meet you.

- Stop Sergeant, you're
making me all wet.

[air whooshing]

- [Ivan] One door closes,
another door opens.

You know what I'm saying?

In the meantime,
we'll take the yacht

and go down to Baja next week.

- Sounds good to me, I
could work on my tan.

- Only if I can drive.

[Ivan laughing]

Hey guys, what a
pleasure you stop by.

- Ivan, how you doing?

- Good, come aboard,
have a drink.

- Not while we're on the job.

- Why not? Relax.

- 'Cause you're coming
downtown with us.

- You gotta be kidding
me, what's going on?

Okay, I'm coming.

I'm coming, all right?

- Oh my God.
- I'm coming!

[traffic zooming]

- Ivan, what a piece of work.

- First of all, it was like
he won an Academy Award.

[laughing] Then he
almost pissed his pants.

- He threw a party?

I'm not about to take this
kind of crap from Ivan Nagy.

[soft unsettled music]

- [Lauren] So where
will I find it?

- It's in my bedroom,
in the drawer.

It's a photo of Ivan.

- [Lauren] Okay, how many
copies do you want me to make?

- [chuckling] About a thousand.

- Really?
- No, 50 will do.

- Heidi, are you sure?
- 100%.

[air whooshing]

[soft unsettled music]

[air whooshing]

- Guys, I think you'll
find it extremely difficult

to prove these
pandering charges.

- Yeah, we'll find a way to nail

you and Heidi one
way or another.

- You don't wanna open
that can of worms.

- No?
- Absolutely.

Listen, Heidi's a party girl.

She just wants to have
fun, cops bore her.

- I don't getcha.

- Heidi knows what
I want her to.

I mean, about you guys.

What I know is an entire
different story, understand?

- Well, we'll just see how
everything plays out in court.

- I think maybe I
overestimated your intelligence

because now my attorneys
will be forced to explore

the whole issue of the
LAPD exchanging protection

for sex with prostitutes,
I'd say going back 20 years.

Do you think the media

would be interested in
that story? [laughing]

[soft jazzy music]

[metal door clanging]

I'd be delighted if
you joined me one day

on my yacht for cocktails.

- Get the hell out.

- Give my best to your boss.

[metal doors clanking]

Thank you.

- All of a sudden, I
was in a high-wire act

without a net,
except I wasn't high.

So, what am I
supposed to be now,

the biggest fucker on Earth?

- They are really bringing out
the heavy artillery, Heidi.

They are charging you with
multiple counts of pandering,

prostitution and contributing
to the delinquency of a minor.

And they're intending
to charge you

with money laundering
and tax evasion.

- Hell, can't you
talk to somebody?

- I already talked to
the district attorney,

and he's pushing for
the maximum sentence.

- Damn! [panting]

What about bail?

- Bail's gonna cost $100,000.

If I were you, I'd go
right from here to rehab.

- Sounds like I really
pissed 'em off, huh?

[traffic zooming]

- [Operator] Dr. Francis,
pick up line three.

Dr. Francis, line three.

- Heidi.

- Things went from bad to worse.

Even the balding, middle-aged
tax lawyers were moving on.

"Dear Heidi, under
the circumstances

I think it's best that
we don't see each other.

Good luck for the future,
Alan." [chuckling]

- Bummer.
- Can you believe it?

Gutless jerk dumped me by fax.

[paper crumpling]

♪ You should think I
am the rest of famous ♪

- Watch this.

We won't have to
worry about the line.

- [Reporter] Ivan, Ivan,
just a couple please.

- [Ivan] Hey boys,
have fun, please.

- Ivan!
- Ivan!

- Hey, sweetheart.
- Ivan, you're all dressed up.

- I have to baby,
everybody wants me.

I'm a star.

[camera clicking]

- You're letting me win.

- No, that's a wicked slice.

- Come on Dad, play for real.

- I'm not letting you
win, but I do need,

I do need, you know,
I need to talk to you.

- What's the matter?

- You know, my lawyer
says that I really,

I'm out on bail.

And you know honey,
I'm facing a jail term.

I don't know how to handle it.

- And it's my fault?

- No, no Heidi, I
didn't say fault.

I'm not talking about, I'm
not talking about blame.

- Then what is it?

What do you think the
right and wrong here is?

- The what, the right and wrong?

- Yeah.

- Heidi, you know I think
prostitution should be legal.

- I'm not talking
about prostitution.

I'm talking about me.

- Oh Heidi, I don't know.

You know, I mean, you
made your choices, right?

And I hope I gave
you the freedom

to make whatever choices,
anyway, you're all grown up.

You're beyond whatever
I can give you.

Heidi, I just hope to
God that, you know,

I hope to God you're okay.

- I'm not okay,
I'm in a jam here!

- I'm in a jam, I'm
in a goddamn jam here.

My lawyer says that I
shouldn't see you anymore.

- Then say it.

- [sighing] I can't
see you anymore.

- [Heidi] I never
thought I'd be happy

to see that gossip hound.

But then I've never
been stuck in rehab

with the road company
of "Facts of Life".

- Is Heidi there? -
- Heidi?

- I wonder if you might
excuse us for a few minutes.

- Only if I get 40% for
making the introduction.

It's a joke.

- [Heidi] So, what
can I do for you?

- My employer wants
to make you an offer.

- Yeah?

- He wants you to write
your memoirs, you know?

He wants you to name names.

- Not interested.

- It's a very big offer.

- How big?

- Three million dollars.

- She's naming everybody.
- She left a number.

- [Reporter] She's
getting a bundle

to give up the names
of her clients.

- She's going to name names.
- Five million.

♪ Call me on the line

♪ You can call me

- Enlightened Creative
Management, how may I help you?

♪ Any day or night call me

[phone ringing]

- It's for you.

- [Reporter] The Hollywood
Madam, she's naming her clients.

♪ Color me with kisses baby

♪ Color me with love

♪ Roll me in designer sheets

- Well I heard that
she's gonna name

all sorts of people and they
might even make a movie.

- What?

- [Reporter] Has got
all the box office stars

shaking in their boots.

- Of course she's
gonna name names.

- Who knows about that book?

♪ Call me on the line

- We have to get the book
back, I want the book back.

- She's been with all
sorts of celebrities.

- The Hollywood Madam.

- With all of the jobs people
did for her, she's doing this.

- There's something phony.

- Hey.

- [Reporter] No, not the
little girl in the lederhosen,

the Hollywood Madam.

♪ Ooh he speaks the
languages of love ♪

- I understand.

♪ Ooh [singing in
foreign language] ♪

♪ Any time any place
anywhere any way ♪

[traffic whooshing]

- [Operator] Dr.
Blackhorse to dispensary.

Dr. Blackhorse to dispensary.

Ronald Lake to visiting room.

Ronald Lake, please
report to visiting room.

[knuckles knocking]

- [exhaling] Steve.

- What do you say we
blow this pop stand

and take a ride, huh?

- Okay.

[shoes clacking]

[soft expectant music]

- Ah, that feels good, huh?

Do you like my suit?

I wore this when I went
to the White House.

I put it on tonight Heidi,
because I have something

very important to say to you.

- What's up?

- I want you to understand this.

What the law will do to
you is nothing compared

to what will happen to
you if you go public.

- [chuckling] Like
what, I won't be invited

to pool parties anymore?

- I do not want to
be known as a sicko

who has to pay for sex.

The reputations of the people
that you are playing with

are worth hundreds of millions
of dollars, multi billions.

There are agents
involved, executives.

It has taken us a lot of years
to build up what we have.

Their lives, the lives
of their families,

depend on these
good reputations.

The pinheads out there
in flyover country

are just dying to see this
town turned on its uppers.

So, if you think
we are going to let

some little coked-out girl
ruin all that, you're wrong.

- They're gonna pay me
seven figures, Steve.

- You want to go on living
in this town, right?

You don't want to
be a nonperson.

- What do you want me to do?

- You're a celebrity
now, welcome to the club.

You won't be the wackiest
figure on the scene,

but you go to jail, you do
your time, you come out.

You'll still be a star.

Heidi, a star can
always make money.

- You'll still be my friend?

- Don't be silly.

[soft unsettled music]

- Did I wake you up?
- Yeah, what time is it?

- Late, I need you
to do something.

- [Lauren] Heidi, you know
I'd do anything you want.

[Lauren grunting]

[flames crackling]

[soft soulful jazzy music]

- [Heidi] I was alone.

My father couldn't see
me, Steve wouldn't see me.

Ivan betrayed me, and on
the first day of my trial,

Alex outdid them all, she died.

When it came down to it,
none of my Hollywood friends

came to support me in court.

- Will the defendant rise?

Heidi Lynn Fleiss,
I'm sentencing you

to seven years in penitentiary.

I know it seems like
an overly harsh term

but I wanted to reflect
this community's

disapproval of what you've done.

Immorality such as yours

is a threat to the
families of this nation

and I want this sentence
to act as a deterrent

to others who might think
of following your example.

Remove the prisoner.

[gavel pounding]

[Heidi exhaling]

- [Heidi] When I rewind my
life, most of it is a blur.

I had a lot of time
to think about my past

when I was locked
up and hanging out

with a different group of girls.

I do remember being
a very moral Madam.

You know, it's called the
world's oldest profession.

- How many girls?

Send me the airfare and I'll
have them in Paris tomorrow.

- [Heidi] I'm not really sure
if they mean prostitution.

- Tina, where are you?
- Or betrayal.

- I'm gonna need you in
Hong Kong on Tuesday.

Kim and Wendy'll meet
you at the airport.

No, not the hotel, the airport.

- [Heidi] If you
realize most women

are evil, rotten bitches,
most men are predictable pigs,

and someone else is always
gonna be on a morality crusade,

it should be easy to sit
back, relax and smile.

Be optimistic, because
you know what's out there.

Steve was right, after I
got out I still had a life.

You know what? The world
is not such a bad place

and we're lucky to be here.

♪ Here's a little song I wrote

♪ Might want to sing
it note for note ♪

♪ Don't worry be happy

♪ In every life we
have some trouble ♪

♪ But when you worry
you make it double ♪

♪ Don't worry be happy

♪ Don't worry be happy now

♪ Ooh ooh

♪ Ooh don't worry

♪ Ooh be happy

♪ Ooh don't worry be happy

♪ Ooh ooh

♪ Ooh don't worry don't worry

♪ Ooh be happy be happy

♪ Ooh don't worry
don't worry be happy ♪

♪ You got a place
to lay your head ♪

♪ Somebody came
and took your bed ♪

♪ Don't worry coo
coo coo coo coo ♪

[soft unsettled jazzy music]