Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000
Downloaded from
YTS.BZ
2
00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000
Official YIFY movies site:
YTS.BZ
3
00:00:14,180 --> 00:00:16,974
A great source of
my frustration with Luke
4
00:00:16,975 --> 00:00:21,061
was him not really leaning in
5
00:00:22,814 --> 00:00:24,690
and for better or for worse, I was all in.
6
00:00:28,111 --> 00:00:30,822
My brother's a tough personality.
7
00:00:32,157 --> 00:00:36,285
I don't have great fond
memories of that time.
8
00:00:36,286 --> 00:00:38,454
It got really complicated.
9
00:00:38,455 --> 00:00:40,164
We played showcases
10
00:00:40,165 --> 00:00:42,667
for all the major record labels in America
11
00:00:43,585 --> 00:00:46,128
and got turned down by them all.
12
00:00:50,008 --> 00:00:52,594
I remember riding back on the tour bus
13
00:00:54,679 --> 00:00:56,972
crawling into the bunk.
14
00:00:56,973 --> 00:00:58,767
Remember calling Moriah,
15
00:00:59,726 --> 00:01:01,101
I don't know if she knew it on the call,
16
00:01:01,102 --> 00:01:03,854
but I remember crying knowing
that I really wanted to
17
00:01:03,855 --> 00:01:05,647
marry this girl and just this feeling
18
00:01:05,648 --> 00:01:08,734
of like what am I gonna do?
19
00:01:08,735 --> 00:01:11,446
Like where do I go from here?
20
00:01:12,947 --> 00:01:15,532
We did have the
feeling of we're failures,
21
00:01:15,533 --> 00:01:16,993
like we're failing right now.
22
00:01:18,495 --> 00:01:20,996
Not only were we
failing ourselves or each other,
23
00:01:20,997 --> 00:01:23,082
but we were failing our family.
24
00:01:23,083 --> 00:01:26,335
The combination of music
and God was a lifeline
25
00:01:26,336 --> 00:01:29,088
for all of us, it's all we've ever known
26
00:01:29,089 --> 00:01:31,215
and it was all falling apart.
27
00:01:31,216 --> 00:01:32,925
Is this the beginning of the end?
28
00:01:49,234 --> 00:01:51,193
So where do we begin?
29
00:01:51,194 --> 00:01:54,488
So, Joel, we'll
start with the easy stuff.
30
00:01:54,489 --> 00:01:56,698
- Mm.
- Let's talk about
31
00:01:56,699 --> 00:01:58,408
your earliest memories of the Opera House.
32
00:01:58,409 --> 00:02:00,077
I can't wait for the hard stuff.
33
00:02:04,749 --> 00:02:08,670
My earliest memories of
the Sydney Opera House,
34
00:02:09,671 --> 00:02:12,339
Dad was a concert promoter in Australia
35
00:02:12,340 --> 00:02:14,174
and so he would bring artists
36
00:02:14,175 --> 00:02:15,969
primarily over from the States.
37
00:02:17,512 --> 00:02:21,557
I managed both Christian
artists and pop bands
38
00:02:21,558 --> 00:02:26,228
and also promoted Christian
concerts all across Australia.
39
00:02:32,277 --> 00:02:33,110
We were doing well.
40
00:02:33,111 --> 00:02:37,781
We lived in one of the nicest
suburbs in Sydney at Glenorie.
41
00:02:41,244 --> 00:02:43,787
We did a lot of concerts over the years
42
00:02:43,788 --> 00:02:45,664
and the kids would always come
43
00:02:45,665 --> 00:02:48,709
so we would always be there together
44
00:02:48,710 --> 00:02:50,794
and experience those moments together.
45
00:02:55,175 --> 00:02:58,302
We would literally be
put to bed backstage,
46
00:02:58,303 --> 00:03:00,179
like we'd bring sleeping bags and pillows
47
00:03:00,180 --> 00:03:03,223
and we'd go to sleep with
the sounds of the rock band.
48
00:03:09,022 --> 00:03:10,397
Dad, because he was the promoter,
49
00:03:10,398 --> 00:03:12,900
he ended up being like
the host of the night.
50
00:03:12,901 --> 00:03:14,026
So before the band would come up
51
00:03:14,027 --> 00:03:16,361
he was up on stage
making the announcements.
52
00:03:16,362 --> 00:03:19,072
And so I remember hugging dad's leg
53
00:03:19,073 --> 00:03:22,743
and kind of looking out at
the front row of people.
54
00:03:22,744 --> 00:03:25,746
But we also did little
things promotionally.
55
00:03:25,747 --> 00:03:28,373
I remember distinctly putting flyers out
56
00:03:28,374 --> 00:03:31,043
on like a car park full of vehicles
57
00:03:31,044 --> 00:03:36,049
and then going to concerts,
watching Stryper for instance.
58
00:03:38,092 --> 00:03:41,763
Just eyes popping out of
my head watching this band.
59
00:03:43,473 --> 00:03:47,893
Going to shows with Dad
and getting on his shoulders,
60
00:03:47,894 --> 00:03:50,771
put my hands over my ears,
'cause it was just so loud
61
00:03:50,772 --> 00:03:54,275
and I felt a lot of pride being
there, being my dad's son.
62
00:03:55,360 --> 00:03:58,403
For me, music was just always
a natural part of my life
63
00:03:58,404 --> 00:04:00,197
and our whole family's life.
64
00:04:00,198 --> 00:04:02,908
We had a big barn
out the back of the house
65
00:04:02,909 --> 00:04:06,328
and we had a band, you know
me, as a three, four year old
66
00:04:06,329 --> 00:04:07,704
and pots and pans and the whole thing
67
00:04:07,705 --> 00:04:09,623
and we would play music together.
68
00:04:09,624 --> 00:04:13,961
Like we would sell merch
at our shows for our parents.
69
00:04:13,962 --> 00:04:17,172
I mean it was just so normal
for us and so natural.
70
00:04:20,343 --> 00:04:23,845
The Smallbone family
is an amazing crazy one
71
00:04:23,846 --> 00:04:24,931
and I love it.
72
00:04:26,224 --> 00:04:29,268
So this is dad, David, our mom, Helen.
73
00:04:29,269 --> 00:04:32,647
My oldest sister Rebecca,
Daniel, the oldest boy
74
00:04:33,564 --> 00:04:37,777
Ben, me, Joel, there's Luke, Josh
75
00:04:39,320 --> 00:04:41,530
and Libby was not quite born yet
76
00:04:41,531 --> 00:04:43,448
but she was well on her way.
77
00:04:48,288 --> 00:04:53,293
I think the DNA of the
Smallbone family is ingenuity,
78
00:04:53,793 --> 00:04:58,798
character, pursuing
excellence in all that you do,
79
00:04:59,090 --> 00:05:03,844
taking what it is that you uniquely know
80
00:05:03,845 --> 00:05:07,889
and putting that back into the family
81
00:05:07,890 --> 00:05:10,934
I think is creativity, faith,
82
00:05:10,935 --> 00:05:13,645
One of the things that drew myself
83
00:05:13,646 --> 00:05:18,651
to the family is the ways in
which they carried themselves.
84
00:05:18,693 --> 00:05:21,737
They behaved also like Christians,
85
00:05:21,738 --> 00:05:23,822
so we love Jesus together.
86
00:05:23,823 --> 00:05:26,783
So there was this cultural overlap,
87
00:05:26,784 --> 00:05:30,288
a kingdom cultural overlap
that gave us this connection.
88
00:05:31,497 --> 00:05:32,956
I always thought of their family
89
00:05:32,957 --> 00:05:35,459
as being discipleship oriented.
90
00:05:35,460 --> 00:05:37,586
Those people were a rock.
91
00:05:37,587 --> 00:05:39,838
Helen is a spiritual powerhouse
92
00:05:39,839 --> 00:05:43,050
and David is just singularly focused.
93
00:05:46,971 --> 00:05:49,557
And my plan was to live a normal life.
94
00:05:50,391 --> 00:05:54,561
Then on a really big tour, I'd
budgeted for the same numbers
95
00:05:54,562 --> 00:05:56,855
that this artist had
toured with previously,
96
00:05:56,856 --> 00:06:01,861
not realizing the economy
was in a really bad place.
97
00:06:02,111 --> 00:06:05,489
When you get on a tour, 20,
30, 40% down every night,
98
00:06:05,490 --> 00:06:07,824
you realize the end is nigh,
99
00:06:07,825 --> 00:06:10,869
we're down 10,000 people, $25 a ticket.
100
00:06:10,870 --> 00:06:13,623
So, we lost a quarter of a million.
101
00:06:14,540 --> 00:06:19,127
We'd invested probably 15 years
102
00:06:19,128 --> 00:06:22,047
in the Australian Christian music scene.
103
00:06:22,048 --> 00:06:26,468
Those two weeks probably
toughest two weeks of my life.
104
00:06:26,469 --> 00:06:28,220
This is what he was called to do.
105
00:06:28,221 --> 00:06:30,430
This was his purpose in life.
106
00:06:30,431 --> 00:06:32,641
This is what he knew how to do.
107
00:06:32,642 --> 00:06:37,229
And when he lost everything he said,
108
00:06:37,230 --> 00:06:39,314
"I don't know what I'm gonna do."
109
00:06:39,315 --> 00:06:42,192
I just, I honestly didn't know
110
00:06:42,193 --> 00:06:44,278
how I was gonna pay the mortgage.
111
00:06:45,196 --> 00:06:46,988
I remember getting the
calls from them, you know,
112
00:06:46,989 --> 00:06:50,534
calling me up late at night,
when you gonna pay for this,
113
00:06:50,535 --> 00:06:53,120
we're about to foreclose,
all that type of stuff.
114
00:06:55,957 --> 00:06:58,291
I was really not in a good place.
115
00:06:58,292 --> 00:06:59,751
Tried to still do concerts
116
00:06:59,752 --> 00:07:03,797
but the industry kinda
wanted me to go away
117
00:07:03,798 --> 00:07:05,757
because I was being a
bit of an embarrassment.
118
00:07:07,927 --> 00:07:10,679
Australians, they're
known to be great fighters.
119
00:07:10,680 --> 00:07:13,056
I used to have a statement,
if God closed the door,
120
00:07:13,057 --> 00:07:16,852
David would've pulled open a
window and we had no back door.
121
00:07:16,853 --> 00:07:20,188
And I remember going
to Helen and saying,
122
00:07:20,189 --> 00:07:24,152
"Hey, Doll, what about we go to America?"
123
00:07:39,208 --> 00:07:43,003
When it came to this announcement
124
00:07:43,004 --> 00:07:47,466
that we were going to the States,
I was, I felt really proud
125
00:07:47,467 --> 00:07:50,510
of us like telling my friends
as a six, seven year old,
126
00:07:50,511 --> 00:07:54,431
like you know, I'm going over
halfway around the world.
127
00:07:54,432 --> 00:07:55,974
To all my friends, it was like the place
128
00:07:55,975 --> 00:07:57,809
that Disneyland was, you know,
129
00:07:57,810 --> 00:08:00,395
so you get to go to Disneyland, so cool.
130
00:08:00,396 --> 00:08:01,980
Mom and Dad painted all of these things
131
00:08:01,981 --> 00:08:03,982
as to be just a crazy adventure.
132
00:08:03,983 --> 00:08:06,359
It made us feel secure as kids.
133
00:08:06,360 --> 00:08:08,236
We didn't
know what we were gonna do
134
00:08:08,237 --> 00:08:09,864
and how it was all gonna pan out.
135
00:08:10,907 --> 00:08:13,658
Young Australian
family coming to America,
136
00:08:13,659 --> 00:08:15,243
we were very intimidated.
137
00:08:17,788 --> 00:08:18,830
When we entered the country
138
00:08:18,831 --> 00:08:21,750
and we're going through
customs, I remember thinking
139
00:08:21,751 --> 00:08:24,002
that we might not actually get to come.
140
00:08:24,003 --> 00:08:26,671
We saw so many people and so many bags.
141
00:08:26,672 --> 00:08:30,884
And I'm five months pregnant
so I'm pulling my tummy in
142
00:08:30,885 --> 00:08:32,844
so they can't see that I'm pregnant.
143
00:08:32,845 --> 00:08:35,305
They could have turned
us away, but they didn't.
144
00:08:35,306 --> 00:08:37,641
It was the fact
that we were together,
145
00:08:37,642 --> 00:08:40,227
the fact that there were eight of us
146
00:08:40,228 --> 00:08:42,772
and we learned to really
rely on each other.
147
00:08:44,190 --> 00:08:46,691
It was kind of an adventure
like those early years
148
00:08:46,692 --> 00:08:49,736
for I think all of us
kids we felt very safe
149
00:08:49,737 --> 00:08:53,490
in Mom and Dad's love for us.
150
00:08:55,618 --> 00:08:57,744
It was still such an adventure.
151
00:08:57,745 --> 00:09:01,665
I didn't really know that
anything was dramatically wrong,
152
00:09:01,666 --> 00:09:02,582
but it was.
153
00:09:05,461 --> 00:09:07,712
The plan when we first moved to Nashville
154
00:09:07,713 --> 00:09:11,424
was for Dad to manage a Christian artist
155
00:09:11,425 --> 00:09:16,137
and then probably grow that
like management element.
156
00:09:16,138 --> 00:09:18,057
So that was the plan.
157
00:09:23,396 --> 00:09:24,980
Came over to work for somebody,
158
00:09:24,981 --> 00:09:26,273
it was an artist that I toured
159
00:09:26,274 --> 00:09:27,774
very successfully in Australia.
160
00:09:27,775 --> 00:09:29,943
He let me go after two months
161
00:09:29,944 --> 00:09:34,322
and so we were forced
into living by faith.
162
00:09:37,451 --> 00:09:41,162
The first six months
or so, maybe the first year
163
00:09:41,163 --> 00:09:43,707
were pretty tough for us all.
164
00:09:43,708 --> 00:09:46,918
I shook in my boots every
day, most weeks I didn't know
165
00:09:46,919 --> 00:09:49,714
how we're gonna put food on the table.
166
00:09:51,424 --> 00:09:54,801
Every day we would wake up and be like,
167
00:09:54,802 --> 00:09:56,803
what's gonna happen today?
168
00:09:56,804 --> 00:09:59,973
We've just about outta groceries,
we've got no more food,
169
00:09:59,974 --> 00:10:01,558
we've got no more money.
170
00:10:01,559 --> 00:10:04,227
I remember making the ramen
noodle soups with the four
171
00:10:04,228 --> 00:10:07,314
we used to make four packets
of ramen noodle soups,
172
00:10:07,315 --> 00:10:10,276
which probably made the combination of $2.
173
00:10:12,069 --> 00:10:12,944
There was no furniture
174
00:10:12,945 --> 00:10:15,614
and we would wear our
clothes through the day
175
00:10:15,615 --> 00:10:17,866
and then we would kind of pile our clothes
176
00:10:17,867 --> 00:10:19,326
amongst a few sheets at night
177
00:10:19,327 --> 00:10:21,745
and we would sleep on these
beds made outta clothes.
178
00:10:21,746 --> 00:10:24,372
Like literally
we'd tuck the sheets
179
00:10:24,373 --> 00:10:27,083
around the clothes like our winter clothes
180
00:10:27,084 --> 00:10:29,336
so that we had a bed to sleep on.
181
00:10:29,337 --> 00:10:32,005
Like not even mattresses.
182
00:10:32,006 --> 00:10:33,840
We would have our parents ringing up
183
00:10:33,841 --> 00:10:36,092
and saying, you know, it's
too hard, it's not working.
184
00:10:36,093 --> 00:10:39,804
Come home. I knew innately
there was nothing to go home to.
185
00:10:39,805 --> 00:10:42,766
There was no retreat,
there was no alternative.
186
00:10:42,767 --> 00:10:43,892
We had to make this work.
187
00:10:43,893 --> 00:10:45,810
Moving to the other side of the world,
188
00:10:45,811 --> 00:10:49,105
working for an artist and
then having that fall through
189
00:10:49,106 --> 00:10:51,149
your only source of income.
190
00:10:51,150 --> 00:10:54,152
Cannot imagine the vulnerability
of that as a parent.
191
00:10:59,909 --> 00:11:04,245
At that time my dad had passed away.
192
00:11:08,876 --> 00:11:11,961
A wound that my dad carries to this day
193
00:11:11,962 --> 00:11:13,923
is not being able to say goodbye to him
194
00:11:14,840 --> 00:11:16,675
because he was stuck over here
195
00:11:16,676 --> 00:11:19,512
and couldn't get back
because of visa issues.
196
00:11:20,638 --> 00:11:25,183
That was a hard time for me, I.
197
00:11:30,773 --> 00:11:32,649
Now, there was one day when my dad
198
00:11:32,650 --> 00:11:35,318
couldn't get out of bed,
he was so down about it,
199
00:11:35,319 --> 00:11:37,153
which is highly unusual for him.
200
00:11:37,154 --> 00:11:39,197
He's like positive almost to a fault.
201
00:11:45,121 --> 00:11:47,956
When I came to grips with things
202
00:11:47,957 --> 00:11:52,085
turning from maybe severe to more severe
203
00:11:52,086 --> 00:11:56,005
was we didn't have any food
and we didn't have a car.
204
00:11:58,592 --> 00:12:03,054
Rebecca and Dad and Daniel
walked to a convenience shop
205
00:12:03,055 --> 00:12:04,723
easily three or four miles.
206
00:12:07,893 --> 00:12:11,938
And I remember at sunset
waiting just outside for ages,
207
00:12:11,939 --> 00:12:13,441
waiting for them to come back.
208
00:12:14,692 --> 00:12:18,528
We need a car, money, food,
to survive We're gonna pray
209
00:12:18,529 --> 00:12:20,280
and we're just gonna trust God for this.
210
00:12:20,281 --> 00:12:23,909
And a lot of us remember Joel
specifically actually praying,
211
00:12:24,785 --> 00:12:26,286
"God we pray for a car."
212
00:12:29,123 --> 00:12:32,751
I knew and I had a
feeling it was probably
213
00:12:32,752 --> 00:12:34,377
just the peace of God
214
00:12:34,378 --> 00:12:36,505
that I knew that God would see us out.
215
00:12:37,798 --> 00:12:41,217
That's when I started
seeing the miraculous.
216
00:12:41,218 --> 00:12:42,051
There was a family
217
00:12:42,052 --> 00:12:45,263
that ended up becoming really
iconic in our family's life
218
00:12:45,264 --> 00:12:47,265
and that was the Mohr family.
219
00:12:47,266 --> 00:12:49,976
My introduction to the Smallbone clan
220
00:12:49,977 --> 00:12:52,103
was in the early 90s and we were having
221
00:12:52,104 --> 00:12:55,190
a Thanksgiving dinner at our house
222
00:12:55,191 --> 00:12:56,483
and some of the people in the group said,
223
00:12:56,484 --> 00:12:59,152
"Hey, there's a new family
in town from Australia,
224
00:12:59,153 --> 00:12:59,986
should we ask them?"
225
00:12:59,987 --> 00:13:01,112
We said, "Yeah, that'd be awesome."
226
00:13:01,113 --> 00:13:04,824
We showed up at this family's home
227
00:13:04,825 --> 00:13:09,662
just seeing the enormous amounts of food.
228
00:13:09,663 --> 00:13:11,372
I remember Joel sitting at that thing
229
00:13:11,373 --> 00:13:12,373
and he couldn't touch it.
230
00:13:12,374 --> 00:13:15,210
He had to wait and all
the kids are excited
231
00:13:15,211 --> 00:13:17,713
and you know, it was like
probably 30 of us there.
232
00:13:18,714 --> 00:13:20,882
It was interesting because you know,
233
00:13:20,883 --> 00:13:23,176
they didn't have a vehicle,
they were just getting
234
00:13:23,177 --> 00:13:25,136
around who knows how?
235
00:13:25,137 --> 00:13:28,223
And at this point I
am eight months pregnant
236
00:13:28,224 --> 00:13:31,392
and I got pretty tired
and I was like, you know,
237
00:13:31,393 --> 00:13:32,727
"Can you take us home?"
238
00:13:32,728 --> 00:13:36,356
My wife went to the back,
into the bedroom to do something
239
00:13:36,357 --> 00:13:38,107
and I walked back there and I said,
240
00:13:38,108 --> 00:13:40,777
"Luanne, I know this
is crazy," but I said,
241
00:13:40,778 --> 00:13:42,904
"I feel like we're supposed
to give them our van."
242
00:13:42,905 --> 00:13:44,405
And it's then that
he pulled the keys out
243
00:13:44,406 --> 00:13:47,326
of his his pocket and said,
"You can drive yourself home."
244
00:13:48,994 --> 00:13:49,829
It's just crazy.
245
00:13:50,830 --> 00:13:53,040
I remember
getting in it that night
246
00:13:54,542 --> 00:13:59,505
and the sense of provision
I felt in that moment.
247
00:13:59,672 --> 00:14:01,548
When you're sitting there
and Mom and Dad are saying,
248
00:14:01,549 --> 00:14:04,801
yeah, we have these needs
as a family and then hey,
249
00:14:04,802 --> 00:14:07,220
somebody has dropped
groceries off on the doorstep
250
00:14:07,221 --> 00:14:09,347
or Dad just went to the the mail
251
00:14:09,348 --> 00:14:12,809
and somehow he got a check for
$1,000 and we can pay rent.
252
00:14:12,810 --> 00:14:14,686
That makes you feel less lonely.
253
00:14:14,687 --> 00:14:16,813
It makes you feel like somebody
is looking out for you.
254
00:14:22,444 --> 00:14:26,823
Many, many, many years
ago I was a traveling artist
255
00:14:26,824 --> 00:14:29,158
in the early days of Christian music.
256
00:14:29,159 --> 00:14:31,286
♪ Rock solid ♪
257
00:14:31,287 --> 00:14:36,165
We were a fledgling rock band
and we would tour Australia
258
00:14:36,166 --> 00:14:39,210
and we'd always heard that
there was this kind of
259
00:14:39,211 --> 00:14:41,296
big time promoter over there
260
00:14:41,297 --> 00:14:43,006
and he never would work with us.
261
00:14:43,007 --> 00:14:45,008
We never hit it big enough for him.
262
00:14:45,009 --> 00:14:46,468
His name was David Smallbone.
263
00:14:47,386 --> 00:14:49,804
♪ Rock solid ♪
264
00:14:49,805 --> 00:14:52,473
The next time I saw David Smallbone
265
00:14:52,474 --> 00:14:55,560
was one day in Franklin, Tennessee
266
00:14:55,561 --> 00:14:57,061
when there was a knock on my door
267
00:14:57,062 --> 00:15:00,148
and this fellow with a
heavy Australian accent,
268
00:15:00,149 --> 00:15:04,444
he said they had opened a
business mowing people's lawns.
269
00:15:04,445 --> 00:15:07,906
Almost immediately
with Dad losing his job,
270
00:15:07,907 --> 00:15:12,911
we became a family unit
and force financially.
271
00:15:12,912 --> 00:15:14,579
People would give us odd jobs.
272
00:15:14,580 --> 00:15:15,998
We were working together.
273
00:15:17,374 --> 00:15:20,418
It became kind of creative.
274
00:15:20,419 --> 00:15:23,129
Grocery stores, you know
you have the trolleys,
275
00:15:23,130 --> 00:15:28,093
they have the rack underneath
and I was at that point still
276
00:15:28,218 --> 00:15:33,223
small enough to contort my
body into the underneath rack
277
00:15:33,432 --> 00:15:36,685
and I could look under the aisles
278
00:15:37,770 --> 00:15:40,939
while we were grocery shopping
279
00:15:40,940 --> 00:15:42,982
and see if there were any
kind of miscellaneous things.
280
00:15:42,983 --> 00:15:46,945
And I found, I think it was
a 10 or $20 bill one day
281
00:15:46,946 --> 00:15:50,282
under there and that was my triumph.
282
00:15:51,533 --> 00:15:53,201
Rebecca started babysitting
283
00:15:53,202 --> 00:15:55,954
and then another family gave us a mower
284
00:15:55,955 --> 00:15:58,040
and then we started mowing people's lawns.
285
00:16:00,209 --> 00:16:04,045
I don't think any of us
really thought too much ever
286
00:16:04,046 --> 00:16:07,006
about, well this money's
mine, I've worked for it.
287
00:16:07,007 --> 00:16:09,509
There was a family need, we
were doing this together,
288
00:16:09,510 --> 00:16:11,719
we're on this adventure together.
289
00:16:11,720 --> 00:16:13,846
I don't think that most people realize
290
00:16:13,847 --> 00:16:16,349
when they were getting
like this family to come
291
00:16:16,350 --> 00:16:18,393
and rake leaves or mow their lawns
292
00:16:18,394 --> 00:16:22,313
I don't think they genuinely
thought the entire family,
293
00:16:22,314 --> 00:16:25,651
you know, down to five years
old we're actually gonna come.
294
00:16:26,527 --> 00:16:29,028
One of my distinct
memories during that
295
00:16:29,029 --> 00:16:31,406
is being really frustrated at Luke.
296
00:16:31,407 --> 00:16:33,282
Luke was always kind of the,
297
00:16:33,283 --> 00:16:35,368
what we called the PR guy of the family.
298
00:16:35,369 --> 00:16:38,121
I remember one day we were raking leaves
299
00:16:38,122 --> 00:16:41,582
and he was sitting on the
John Deere with his legs
300
00:16:41,583 --> 00:16:44,419
kind of propped up on the steering wheel
301
00:16:44,420 --> 00:16:49,132
and just talking to the
owner for a couple hours.
302
00:16:49,133 --> 00:16:51,301
- Luke.
- It's a pain in the butt.
303
00:17:02,312 --> 00:17:04,313
I've always found it
pretty easy to talk to people
304
00:17:04,314 --> 00:17:05,898
and I felt like if they were to talk
305
00:17:05,899 --> 00:17:08,401
to a 6-year-old about raking leaves
306
00:17:08,402 --> 00:17:09,360
that there was a very good
307
00:17:09,361 --> 00:17:10,611
chance that we were gonna be back.
308
00:17:10,612 --> 00:17:13,531
And the the answer is,
was it a little lazy?
309
00:17:13,532 --> 00:17:15,867
He knew he was a smart kid,
310
00:17:15,868 --> 00:17:18,661
he knew exactly what he was doing.
311
00:17:27,421 --> 00:17:29,338
Kay,
why don't you just start
312
00:17:29,339 --> 00:17:32,967
by telling me about your history
with the Smallbone family.
313
00:17:32,968 --> 00:17:37,973
All right, it started in
about 1993, got a little flyer,
314
00:17:38,807 --> 00:17:41,309
said that there was a
family from Australia
315
00:17:41,310 --> 00:17:45,605
that had moved to America and
the dad's work fell through.
316
00:17:45,606 --> 00:17:49,484
And so the first thing I
thought was, oh my goodness,
317
00:17:49,485 --> 00:17:52,403
what can I do to help this family?
318
00:17:52,404 --> 00:17:56,449
I figured I can minister
to this family with food.
319
00:17:56,450 --> 00:17:58,618
And the mom greeted me at the door
320
00:17:58,619 --> 00:18:02,455
and she was just this
radiant, beautiful person.
321
00:18:02,456 --> 00:18:04,290
She's got a baby in her arms
322
00:18:04,291 --> 00:18:06,375
and she's got all these children
323
00:18:06,376 --> 00:18:08,878
I couldn't even count them all.
324
00:18:08,879 --> 00:18:12,966
I walked through the house
and they didn't have anything.
325
00:18:14,426 --> 00:18:17,137
I thought all along, why
aren't these people sad?
326
00:18:17,971 --> 00:18:20,014
But they were not sad.
327
00:18:20,015 --> 00:18:25,020
They had so much joy and were so thankful
328
00:18:25,229 --> 00:18:28,190
for anything and everything
that God gave them.
329
00:18:29,733 --> 00:18:33,487
That day I went to be a
blessing to the Smallbones
330
00:18:35,280 --> 00:18:37,407
and they ended up being a blessing to me.
331
00:18:44,873 --> 00:18:45,707
This is snow.
332
00:18:47,251 --> 00:18:49,418
Christmas came and I
said to David, I said,
333
00:18:49,419 --> 00:18:51,629
"What are we gonna do about Christmas?
334
00:18:51,630 --> 00:18:53,005
Because we got no money."
335
00:18:55,634 --> 00:18:58,719
And I'll never forget they
were telling the children
336
00:18:58,720 --> 00:19:02,099
that Santa had lost their address, and.
337
00:19:02,975 --> 00:19:06,894
What I remember was Mom saying,
338
00:19:06,895 --> 00:19:10,273
if he does find us, he's not
gonna be able to bring us much.
339
00:19:10,274 --> 00:19:12,650
It's probably just gonna be
things from the dollar shop.
340
00:19:12,651 --> 00:19:13,943
I think we were all like, no,
341
00:19:13,944 --> 00:19:15,736
Santa doesn't care that
we're poor, you know,
342
00:19:15,737 --> 00:19:18,281
there's no way that we're
not gonna get presents.
343
00:19:18,282 --> 00:19:21,534
Santa is not dictated to
by our financial situation.
344
00:19:21,535 --> 00:19:22,743
He's gonna find us.
345
00:19:22,744 --> 00:19:26,789
And again, just this like
this undying childlike
346
00:19:26,790 --> 00:19:30,334
literally faith that he was gonna show up.
347
00:19:32,504 --> 00:19:35,006
A first grade class, found out
that we didn't have any way
348
00:19:35,007 --> 00:19:37,466
to buy gifts for one another.
349
00:19:37,467 --> 00:19:38,676
Someone had brought it to the class
350
00:19:38,677 --> 00:19:41,637
and so the class room, that
first grade class sponsored us
351
00:19:41,638 --> 00:19:42,847
that year and they went
to Mom and they said,
352
00:19:42,848 --> 00:19:45,391
"Hey, we wanna be kind
of partner with Santa."
353
00:19:45,392 --> 00:19:49,645
And sure enough, Christmas morning comes
354
00:19:49,646 --> 00:19:53,191
and still to this day, I've
never had the amount of presents
355
00:19:53,192 --> 00:19:55,110
that I had on that morning.
356
00:19:56,737 --> 00:19:59,572
To see the kids being blessed
357
00:19:59,573 --> 00:20:04,493
it was an another element
of God that I didn't expect
358
00:20:04,494 --> 00:20:07,747
where it wasn't just our
needs, food on the table,
359
00:20:07,748 --> 00:20:11,626
but He went and above and
beyond and loved on them
360
00:20:11,627 --> 00:20:16,632
because it was important to
me, that was very special.
361
00:20:20,093 --> 00:20:21,552
It was great because we were able
362
00:20:21,553 --> 00:20:24,138
to go back to Mom and Dad
and be like, see, you know,
363
00:20:24,139 --> 00:20:25,348
Santa doesn't care that we're poor.
364
00:20:25,349 --> 00:20:28,100
You know, Santa takes
care of the good kids.
365
00:20:28,101 --> 00:20:29,101
Why'd you ever doubt Santa?
366
00:20:29,102 --> 00:20:32,773
Of course he was gonna come,
Santa was gonna come through
367
00:20:34,107 --> 00:20:35,983
and she kind of smiled knowingly.
368
00:20:35,984 --> 00:20:40,488
Gotta bring Elizabeth,
369
00:20:46,411 --> 00:20:49,956
She's been doing Whitney
Houston impersonations.
370
00:20:49,957 --> 00:20:52,500
- Come on, go for it.
- Whitney Houston.
371
00:20:52,501 --> 00:20:54,377
Show them the
training that I've been doing.
372
00:20:54,378 --> 00:20:55,795
I saw that on video today.
373
00:20:55,796 --> 00:20:58,047
Pretty soon after we moved
374
00:20:58,048 --> 00:21:00,466
Dad had more time on his
hands so it very naturally
375
00:21:00,467 --> 00:21:02,885
just kind of moved over
to working with me.
376
00:21:02,886 --> 00:21:07,014
And I remember Dad doing
rehearsals with Rebecca
377
00:21:07,015 --> 00:21:11,185
who was 15 maybe with a
wooden spoon, you know,
378
00:21:11,186 --> 00:21:13,521
very glamorous situation.
379
00:21:13,522 --> 00:21:14,355
You should be presenting it.
380
00:21:14,356 --> 00:21:15,982
But I was outvoted by
everybody in this room.
381
00:21:15,983 --> 00:21:17,900
Dad was taking Rebecca
382
00:21:17,901 --> 00:21:20,736
to all these different record labels.
383
00:21:20,737 --> 00:21:24,240
Some of them, you know, Dad and her twice.
384
00:21:24,241 --> 00:21:27,076
And man, the resilience
and the thick skin,
385
00:21:27,077 --> 00:21:29,787
like just from what I understand
386
00:21:29,788 --> 00:21:31,623
kind of turned down left and right.
387
00:21:32,499 --> 00:21:34,166
David mentioned to me
388
00:21:34,167 --> 00:21:36,544
after a few months of mowing our lawn
389
00:21:36,545 --> 00:21:38,629
that you know, Rebecca was a singer,
390
00:21:38,630 --> 00:21:39,714
I didn't even know that.
391
00:21:39,715 --> 00:21:43,759
I was looking for a young girl artist
392
00:21:43,760 --> 00:21:46,221
that would want to sing to her peers.
393
00:21:47,222 --> 00:21:50,308
And she was doing a few
songs at their church
394
00:21:50,309 --> 00:21:53,602
and asked me if I would take a listen.
395
00:21:53,603 --> 00:21:54,687
It's a thousand seat room,
396
00:21:54,688 --> 00:21:56,939
there's four people in the room.
397
00:21:56,940 --> 00:21:58,983
And I remember watching this as you know
398
00:21:58,984 --> 00:22:02,111
a boy, young man, my big
sister, what a superhero.
399
00:22:02,112 --> 00:22:07,117
Like her confidence and her
charisma to kind of stand
400
00:22:07,367 --> 00:22:11,037
in the most awkward unflattering situation
401
00:22:11,038 --> 00:22:14,040
in an empty room and just sing these songs
402
00:22:14,041 --> 00:22:16,417
was incredibly courageous.
403
00:22:16,418 --> 00:22:17,835
She's a courageous woman.
404
00:22:32,225 --> 00:22:33,184
When it came time
405
00:22:33,185 --> 00:22:35,227
that Rebecca started to do tours,
406
00:22:35,228 --> 00:22:38,272
we couldn't bear the
thought of being separated.
407
00:22:38,273 --> 00:22:39,857
We'd already become that family unit,
408
00:22:39,858 --> 00:22:41,484
like we were already
doing school together.
409
00:22:41,485 --> 00:22:44,528
So the natural next step was basically
410
00:22:44,529 --> 00:22:47,698
to become the Australian
version of the von Trapp family.
411
00:22:50,327 --> 00:22:51,994
We're in a
15 seater passenger van
412
00:22:51,995 --> 00:22:55,623
with all of us and sibling
squabbles and you know,
413
00:22:55,624 --> 00:22:58,710
I was a bossy big sister for sure.
414
00:22:59,711 --> 00:23:02,671
The first time I met
the Smallbone was 1996.
415
00:23:02,672 --> 00:23:06,592
The van pulling up and
the entire Smallbone clan
416
00:23:06,593 --> 00:23:09,261
comes out just kinda like
another one and another one
417
00:23:09,262 --> 00:23:11,722
and another one, you know, I was like,
418
00:23:11,723 --> 00:23:14,266
how many kids do you guys have?
419
00:23:14,267 --> 00:23:18,397
Dad needed a cheap road
crew, so we became the guys.
420
00:23:19,815 --> 00:23:23,359
Initially we didn't have
massive responsibilities
421
00:23:23,360 --> 00:23:25,861
like we had this tiny little
backdrop that we propped up
422
00:23:25,862 --> 00:23:27,405
and had a couple par cans
423
00:23:27,406 --> 00:23:30,157
and we had these two moving
lights called track spots
424
00:23:30,158 --> 00:23:32,618
that we just thought were
the most amazing thing.
425
00:23:36,206 --> 00:23:38,791
We were in a pattern
of continually trying
426
00:23:38,792 --> 00:23:41,168
to get better, you know, to
try to get better at our craft,
427
00:23:43,380 --> 00:23:44,755
we were put out there
428
00:23:44,756 --> 00:23:47,926
and failure wasn't an option
and you just figured it out.
429
00:23:48,760 --> 00:23:50,761
We all kind of did merch at some point.
430
00:23:50,762 --> 00:23:54,181
I've absolutely sold many
a T-shirts in my time.
431
00:23:54,182 --> 00:23:55,975
Joel probably didn't get the merch job
432
00:23:55,976 --> 00:23:59,103
because he didn't know how to
add and subtract very well.
433
00:23:59,104 --> 00:24:03,482
I became the merch guy
for maybe a night or two
434
00:24:03,483 --> 00:24:08,112
and I basically built a
castle out of cassette tapes.
435
00:24:08,113 --> 00:24:11,283
And I was so proud of myself.
436
00:24:20,000 --> 00:24:21,750
Yes, I was fired.
437
00:24:21,751 --> 00:24:24,295
But I don't think any of
us thought of it that way.
438
00:24:24,296 --> 00:24:26,714
There was such a shuffle at that point.
439
00:24:26,715 --> 00:24:28,799
Looking back now again, hindsight 2020,
440
00:24:28,800 --> 00:24:31,343
you could see dad being
kind of the ultimate
441
00:24:31,344 --> 00:24:34,054
like orchestrator in that
moment kind of going, okay,
442
00:24:34,055 --> 00:24:36,474
well that didn't really suit him
443
00:24:36,475 --> 00:24:38,767
and so he should probably go and do this.
444
00:24:38,768 --> 00:24:42,563
And we all ended up
finding these sweet spots.
445
00:24:44,858 --> 00:24:46,734
They needed someone to
be able to sing harmonies.
446
00:24:46,735 --> 00:24:50,154
And I hadn't hit puberty
yet and so I could fly score
447
00:24:50,155 --> 00:24:53,365
and high above my sister and
that's when I started singing.
448
00:24:53,366 --> 00:24:54,450
And so I used to sing.
449
00:24:54,451 --> 00:24:56,744
I never got, they wouldn't
allow me to get up on stage.
450
00:24:56,745 --> 00:24:59,371
I would sing from the boards.
451
00:24:59,372 --> 00:25:02,249
I eventually got promoted to
being the lighting director
452
00:25:02,250 --> 00:25:05,336
and I used to at one point
try and sing background vocals
453
00:25:05,337 --> 00:25:06,880
while I was running lights
454
00:25:08,215 --> 00:25:10,299
that didn't last for very long.
455
00:25:10,300 --> 00:25:11,342
Maybe we
should just mute the drums
456
00:25:11,343 --> 00:25:12,551
for that section, 'cause it's the drums
457
00:25:12,552 --> 00:25:13,762
that are throwing me off.
458
00:25:14,971 --> 00:25:19,099
♪ You are my savior and You are my God ♪
459
00:25:19,100 --> 00:25:21,852
♪ You are my love You are my life ♪
460
00:25:21,853 --> 00:25:25,147
I remember the moment
the second record was done
461
00:25:25,148 --> 00:25:29,693
and we went by to pick up the,
like that was the thing then
462
00:25:29,694 --> 00:25:32,488
you picked up the CDs and we pulled it out
463
00:25:32,489 --> 00:25:35,700
and saw this really
unique, interesting cover.
464
00:25:37,077 --> 00:25:39,453
Even as a youngster, you could
feel the kind of bubbling
465
00:25:39,454 --> 00:25:42,206
of energy of like this,
we've got something
466
00:25:42,207 --> 00:25:44,708
really special and everything changed.
467
00:25:48,296 --> 00:25:52,133
She very quickly graduated to
having a band backing her up.
468
00:25:53,301 --> 00:25:57,179
The 15 passenger van went to
two RVs that we actually bought
469
00:25:57,180 --> 00:25:59,682
and one housed the band and
the other housed the family
470
00:25:59,683 --> 00:26:01,517
and even grew beyond that.
471
00:26:01,518 --> 00:26:03,394
Even in that first record to like two RVs
472
00:26:03,395 --> 00:26:05,187
and a bus, a touring bus.
473
00:26:05,188 --> 00:26:07,731
One time David said, "Hey,
do you wanna come on set?"
474
00:26:07,732 --> 00:26:09,817
We were playing at like,
I think Kingdom Bound
475
00:26:09,818 --> 00:26:11,402
together with Rebecca.
476
00:26:11,403 --> 00:26:12,361
He said, "Do you wanna come on stage
477
00:26:12,362 --> 00:26:13,571
and sing "God," with Rebecca?"
478
00:26:13,572 --> 00:26:15,656
I was like, "Of course I wanna, come on.
479
00:26:15,657 --> 00:26:18,409
And I love that song, "God.""
480
00:26:18,410 --> 00:26:21,036
Here's Rebecca St. James.
481
00:26:21,037 --> 00:26:22,413
This years Grammy winner
482
00:26:22,414 --> 00:26:24,748
with record Sales in the millions.
483
00:26:24,749 --> 00:26:26,041
Rebecca is a
Grammy award winning singer.
484
00:26:26,042 --> 00:26:29,670
Featuring one of Christian
music's biggest stars.
485
00:26:29,671 --> 00:26:32,256
It was the launching
pad of Rebecca's career
486
00:26:32,257 --> 00:26:34,133
and ultimately kind of us being able
487
00:26:34,134 --> 00:26:35,718
to sustainably be in the States.
488
00:26:37,887 --> 00:26:39,305
The stage production grew
489
00:26:39,306 --> 00:26:41,515
from this little kind
of rinky-dink backdrop
490
00:26:41,516 --> 00:26:42,933
to all these moving lights.
491
00:26:42,934 --> 00:26:44,435
And it became much more elaborate.
492
00:26:46,688 --> 00:26:47,688
And it was perfect,
493
00:26:47,689 --> 00:26:51,066
because we as boys were really
able to like sink our teeth
494
00:26:51,067 --> 00:26:55,321
into programming and design
in a much deeper way.
495
00:26:55,322 --> 00:26:57,740
You kind of knew that even if
I don't know how to do this,
496
00:26:57,741 --> 00:27:00,326
if if we're in this together,
we are gonna figure it out.
497
00:27:00,327 --> 00:27:02,953
That breeds an amazing trust.
498
00:27:02,954 --> 00:27:05,581
Within all the family
there were trades and skills
499
00:27:05,582 --> 00:27:08,667
that were developed while supporting her.
500
00:27:08,668 --> 00:27:11,378
The whole family grew in that season.
501
00:27:16,343 --> 00:27:19,803
Do this, do that,
order this, order that,
502
00:27:19,804 --> 00:27:21,180
follow my directions.
503
00:27:21,181 --> 00:27:24,892
I think I know everything
in the world, follow me.
504
00:27:24,893 --> 00:27:28,020
Joel, at a very
young age, 12 I believe
505
00:27:28,021 --> 00:27:31,106
had an eye for stages and
at that point we were doing
506
00:27:31,107 --> 00:27:34,443
a lot of church staging
and he got an expert
507
00:27:34,444 --> 00:27:38,030
at building stages and being stage manager
508
00:27:38,031 --> 00:27:40,658
and loading in and being
in charge of people.
509
00:27:43,912 --> 00:27:46,955
As the crews got bigger
and bigger locally, you know,
510
00:27:46,956 --> 00:27:49,583
he's calling all the shots of
where everything goes on stage
511
00:27:49,584 --> 00:27:50,959
and telling these men
512
00:27:50,960 --> 00:27:54,213
that are like at least three
times his age, what to do.
513
00:27:54,214 --> 00:27:55,839
And they look at him initially and go,
514
00:27:55,840 --> 00:27:59,093
"This guy is gonna be
telling me what to do?"
515
00:27:59,094 --> 00:28:01,887
And by, you know, like 30 minutes in,
516
00:28:01,888 --> 00:28:04,474
they were like, "Okay, yeah
he knows what he's doing."
517
00:28:05,517 --> 00:28:07,976
Up until probably 11 or 12,
518
00:28:07,977 --> 00:28:12,982
my relationship with the
stage was very frightful.
519
00:28:14,401 --> 00:28:18,237
Even checking a vocal in a room
520
00:28:18,238 --> 00:28:21,073
where there was maybe a
dozen people in the room
521
00:28:21,074 --> 00:28:23,909
was equally frightful for me.
522
00:28:23,910 --> 00:28:26,578
During Rebecca's first
record, she had a song
523
00:28:26,579 --> 00:28:28,288
that she wanted to do a duet with me
524
00:28:30,291 --> 00:28:33,210
and we rehearsed, I mean it's
probably a two minute piece.
525
00:28:33,211 --> 00:28:35,337
We rehearsed it for a month.
526
00:28:35,338 --> 00:28:38,298
I don't think he had any
idea what the next step was.
527
00:28:38,299 --> 00:28:40,551
He just was enjoying it, whatever.
528
00:28:40,552 --> 00:28:43,804
And then this one night
David came and said,
529
00:28:43,805 --> 00:28:46,432
"You're ready, you can sing tonight."
530
00:28:46,433 --> 00:28:48,100
And he's like, "What?"
531
00:28:48,101 --> 00:28:51,395
"You can sing on the stage?"
"No, no, I don't want to."
532
00:28:51,396 --> 00:28:56,401
He cried, he just said,
"Oh you can't make me."
533
00:28:57,694 --> 00:28:59,903
So I went to our family dog Kimba,
534
00:28:59,904 --> 00:29:03,366
who traveled with us on the
road and I cried to Kimba
535
00:29:04,492 --> 00:29:06,785
but I ended up doing it that night.
536
00:29:06,786 --> 00:29:09,288
And the tide kind of turned.
537
00:29:13,626 --> 00:29:15,085
He fell in love with the stage
538
00:29:15,086 --> 00:29:17,588
and from then on he kept going.
539
00:29:17,589 --> 00:29:22,551
♪ I can't explain any other
way, 'cause it's God ♪
540
00:29:24,846 --> 00:29:26,847
I just, the tour that
we're gonna do in August,
541
00:29:26,848 --> 00:29:29,558
we're now gonna do in November, do a week
542
00:29:29,559 --> 00:29:32,311
of start rehearsing
the Christmas material,
543
00:29:32,312 --> 00:29:35,522
then go up to Canada for two weeks,
544
00:29:35,523 --> 00:29:37,734
then come back and do another rehearse.
545
00:29:46,034 --> 00:29:47,409
I think probably some people
546
00:29:47,410 --> 00:29:50,996
have a idealized
understanding of what life
547
00:29:50,997 --> 00:29:53,957
might have been like being on the road.
548
00:29:53,958 --> 00:29:57,419
It's just an unreal world,
you know, it really is
549
00:29:57,420 --> 00:30:00,048
it breeds dysfunction.
550
00:30:01,800 --> 00:30:03,175
You're out and there's all these people
551
00:30:03,176 --> 00:30:07,221
that are just applauding
you and telling you
552
00:30:07,222 --> 00:30:11,726
you're good at what you're
doing, it's not real life.
553
00:30:12,602 --> 00:30:15,854
Rebecca's time was very hard.
554
00:30:15,855 --> 00:30:19,608
She had the weight of
creativity all on her shoulders.
555
00:30:19,609 --> 00:30:21,151
Joel and Luke can share it.
556
00:30:21,152 --> 00:30:22,653
Is this even making a difference?
557
00:30:22,654 --> 00:30:26,073
Sometimes you have that feeling
like, does it even matter?
558
00:30:26,074 --> 00:30:27,616
I know people say the music helps,
559
00:30:27,617 --> 00:30:31,078
but I don't know these
people, it's really difficult.
560
00:30:31,079 --> 00:30:34,456
Being on the road is
an incredibly grueling,
561
00:30:34,457 --> 00:30:39,462
lonely experience, you don't
have your friends around you.
562
00:30:40,046 --> 00:30:42,297
She was alone in so many ways.
563
00:30:42,298 --> 00:30:43,841
She was alone on the road
564
00:30:43,842 --> 00:30:45,926
because it was pretty much all men.
565
00:30:45,927 --> 00:30:49,012
I became the middle
person, I became a friend,
566
00:30:49,013 --> 00:30:51,640
but I'm a mom and I've got six other kids.
567
00:30:51,641 --> 00:30:52,642
What am I gonna do?
568
00:30:54,602 --> 00:30:56,937
You are a young girl,
569
00:30:56,938 --> 00:31:01,608
yet you are the primary
income for an entire family
570
00:31:01,609 --> 00:31:04,027
that's struggling to get by.
571
00:31:04,028 --> 00:31:07,656
So with that comes so
many layers of complexity
572
00:31:07,657 --> 00:31:12,662
that add to that the expectations
of the Christian industry,
573
00:31:13,079 --> 00:31:14,246
which a lot of times, I think,
574
00:31:14,247 --> 00:31:18,041
can be more harsh and more
intense than mainstream.
575
00:31:18,042 --> 00:31:19,376
If the boys walk outta their bus
576
00:31:19,377 --> 00:31:21,420
pretty much in their pajamas and bed hair,
577
00:31:21,421 --> 00:31:24,047
which Luke does, people will be like,
578
00:31:24,048 --> 00:31:26,425
"Oh look, it's so cute,
they've just woken up.
579
00:31:26,426 --> 00:31:27,634
They're just coming in."
580
00:31:27,635 --> 00:31:32,640
Rebecca walks out in sweats
and bed hair it's like,
581
00:31:33,099 --> 00:31:37,477
"Oh, oh gosh, she doesn't
look like her pictures."
582
00:31:37,478 --> 00:31:40,939
My heart would go out
to her to see the pain,
583
00:31:40,940 --> 00:31:43,233
to see the demands.
584
00:31:43,234 --> 00:31:45,110
I would hit the wall, just exhaustion
585
00:31:45,111 --> 00:31:46,820
and being really young
doing what I was doing
586
00:31:46,821 --> 00:31:48,363
with a lot of responsibility.
587
00:31:48,364 --> 00:31:52,284
And I did feel that I needed
to keep going at certain points
588
00:31:52,285 --> 00:31:56,371
where I was pretty overwhelmed
or depleted internally
589
00:31:56,372 --> 00:31:58,206
because there was a lot of people
590
00:31:58,207 --> 00:31:59,875
that I loved, relying on me.
591
00:32:03,046 --> 00:32:05,673
I think I squelched, you know,
592
00:32:07,675 --> 00:32:11,637
my own internal like voice
of reason or self-protection,
593
00:32:11,638 --> 00:32:15,223
probably a lot just out of
desire to do the right thing
594
00:32:15,224 --> 00:32:19,436
or to serve and I felt so
called to it and so passionate.
595
00:32:19,437 --> 00:32:22,064
But you can also be internally grieving
596
00:32:22,065 --> 00:32:24,441
some of the losses that
go along with that.
597
00:32:24,442 --> 00:32:27,986
Rebecca always wanted to be married
598
00:32:27,987 --> 00:32:32,240
and this idea of like
having seven to 10 kids.
599
00:32:32,241 --> 00:32:36,119
At every turn, there was a hope for love
600
00:32:36,120 --> 00:32:37,288
since I can remember.
601
00:32:39,165 --> 00:32:44,170
That was one of the great
difficulties of her adulthood
602
00:32:44,754 --> 00:32:47,214
and something very hard for me to watch.
603
00:32:47,215 --> 00:32:51,093
You know, she's 26, 27,
28 going into her 30s.
604
00:32:51,094 --> 00:32:54,388
Over a decade she started
feeling her dreams and hopes
605
00:32:54,389 --> 00:32:55,640
and desires being shifted
606
00:32:57,183 --> 00:33:00,811
and it became a very frightful
thing to step on stage.
607
00:33:00,812 --> 00:33:03,355
Really, I had had such
a dream to get married
608
00:33:03,356 --> 00:33:05,065
and have a family and like there was times
609
00:33:05,066 --> 00:33:06,316
where I'd be crying before a tour
610
00:33:06,317 --> 00:33:09,987
because I just didn't feel
like I had enough to give.
611
00:33:09,988 --> 00:33:12,322
I knew the weight that she was under
612
00:33:12,323 --> 00:33:16,118
and I knew the cost that she
was giving to everything.
613
00:33:19,330 --> 00:33:23,417
The one thing that I
feel so very thankful to God,
614
00:33:23,418 --> 00:33:24,669
she never lost her faith
615
00:33:25,670 --> 00:33:28,046
through the hard, the
hurts, the difficulties.
616
00:33:28,047 --> 00:33:30,966
She has always had a beautiful faith
617
00:33:30,967 --> 00:33:35,095
and I so respect her for
that because it was hard.
618
00:33:35,096 --> 00:33:38,515
Hey, we have hearts full
of love that God has given us
619
00:33:38,516 --> 00:33:41,560
and God really calls us to
love the unloved, you know?
620
00:33:43,229 --> 00:33:45,856
To see the way
that God has used Rebecca,
621
00:33:45,857 --> 00:33:49,693
she impacted a generation
of girls who are now moms
622
00:33:49,694 --> 00:33:54,699
and the boys are impacting
their kids, is just staggering.
623
00:33:54,907 --> 00:33:59,829
We are in many ways a legacy
band of Rebecca St. James.
624
00:34:03,124 --> 00:34:05,709
The training ground
and the ability to fail
625
00:34:05,710 --> 00:34:07,836
kind of quietly in the background
626
00:34:07,837 --> 00:34:11,465
and to fall in love with music.
627
00:34:11,466 --> 00:34:13,550
Because of our
experience with Rebecca
628
00:34:13,551 --> 00:34:16,720
I've had the privilege of
seeing someone go before
629
00:34:16,721 --> 00:34:20,140
and I really have always
valued and cherished that.
630
00:34:23,436 --> 00:34:26,813
I've said it a fair amount
over the last few years.
631
00:34:26,814 --> 00:34:29,859
And I believe with everything
in me that if it weren't
632
00:34:30,943 --> 00:34:33,696
for Rebecca, there would
be no For King & Country.
633
00:34:35,615 --> 00:34:37,240
It's funny 'cause I've kind of
634
00:34:39,410 --> 00:34:42,871
envied an element of
what Joel and Luke have
635
00:34:42,872 --> 00:34:45,541
in For King & Country
and that is each other.
636
00:34:47,251 --> 00:34:50,379
I've cried about the fact
that I didn't have a Luke
637
00:34:51,881 --> 00:34:56,385
to do it with me, would've
been different for me.
638
00:34:57,470 --> 00:35:00,472
But I'm glad for them. I'm
glad they have each other.
639
00:35:00,473 --> 00:35:02,015
And they don't have to do it alone
640
00:35:02,016 --> 00:35:04,811
'cause it's hard, it's a
hard thing to do alone.
641
00:35:06,687 --> 00:35:11,358
I'm thankful for the
support that they have
642
00:35:11,359 --> 00:35:13,318
that has grieved me
that I didn't have that.
643
00:35:17,532 --> 00:35:18,741
Just pause a sec.
644
00:35:19,826 --> 00:35:21,409
Yeah, let's break that for (indistinct).
645
00:35:48,604 --> 00:35:50,897
Before For King & Country
there was Joel and Luke
646
00:35:50,898 --> 00:35:55,069
before Joel and Luke, there was
just Joel, there was just me
647
00:35:56,821 --> 00:35:59,656
and it was the days of
NSYNC and Backstreet Boys
648
00:35:59,657 --> 00:36:04,662
And I was not a closet fan,
I was an overt advocate.
649
00:36:05,663 --> 00:36:08,373
He was doing like
backup singing for Rebecca
650
00:36:08,374 --> 00:36:11,168
and he was starting to
have his own like persona.
651
00:36:11,169 --> 00:36:13,003
You know, he had like his own suit on
652
00:36:13,004 --> 00:36:14,629
and he was doing like his own moves.
653
00:36:14,630 --> 00:36:15,463
I remember thinking,
654
00:36:15,464 --> 00:36:18,216
"Oh, okay, Joel's got,
he's got some flair."
655
00:36:18,217 --> 00:36:21,720
We would play these
really terrible music videos
656
00:36:21,721 --> 00:36:24,139
of Backstreet Boys and
we were kind of the stars
657
00:36:24,140 --> 00:36:26,016
of our youth group.
658
00:36:26,017 --> 00:36:28,560
At about 16 he came
to David and he said,
659
00:36:28,561 --> 00:36:33,273
"I wanna perform, I feel like
God's calling me to do music."
660
00:36:33,274 --> 00:36:35,734
David said, "Okay, yeah, write some songs,
661
00:36:35,735 --> 00:36:38,820
get together, I'll set up
some writing appointments,
662
00:36:38,821 --> 00:36:39,946
let's make some music."
663
00:36:41,824 --> 00:36:45,327
I created my own
little EP called "JoeL,"
664
00:36:45,328 --> 00:36:46,828
and I always loved the symmetry
665
00:36:46,829 --> 00:36:49,707
because the J and the L
were like really balanced.
666
00:36:51,375 --> 00:36:53,752
Something about music
really impacted him.
667
00:36:53,753 --> 00:36:55,170
He was entranced by it all.
668
00:37:09,602 --> 00:37:12,062
And I just thought, well that's that,
669
00:37:12,063 --> 00:37:15,941
you know, here comes Superstardom.
670
00:37:17,068 --> 00:37:19,486
♪ No, you've gotta let her go ♪
671
00:37:19,487 --> 00:37:23,073
So I took the demo around
a lot of people in town.
672
00:37:23,074 --> 00:37:24,241
No one's interested.
673
00:37:24,242 --> 00:37:26,034
Just crickets.
674
00:37:26,035 --> 00:37:30,872
David actually had the very
unenviable job of being a dad
675
00:37:30,873 --> 00:37:33,792
and going to Joel and say,
"It's just not good enough."
676
00:37:41,008 --> 00:37:42,842
And so I went to him and I said,
677
00:37:42,843 --> 00:37:45,470
"Ah, I don't think the solo
thing's gonna work too well,
678
00:37:45,471 --> 00:37:49,015
Joel, going by early response.
679
00:37:49,016 --> 00:37:51,768
I think you gotta consider something else.
680
00:37:51,769 --> 00:37:55,021
What about experimenting
with your brother?"
681
00:37:55,022 --> 00:37:57,023
And Joel did not wish to hear that.
682
00:37:57,024 --> 00:37:59,235
He wanted to do it on his own.
683
00:38:00,111 --> 00:38:02,779
The idea of Joel
and I working together
684
00:38:02,780 --> 00:38:04,698
Dad had been saying it for years.
685
00:38:04,699 --> 00:38:07,158
Luke and I
didn't get along, at all.
686
00:38:07,159 --> 00:38:10,996
We kind of annoyed each other,
pushed each other's buttons
687
00:38:10,997 --> 00:38:12,664
and he grew taller than me,
688
00:38:12,665 --> 00:38:15,542
which was very frustrating
as an older brother.
689
00:38:15,543 --> 00:38:17,336
He was a better vocalist than me.
690
00:38:18,629 --> 00:38:20,755
I loved to beat my brother
691
00:38:20,756 --> 00:38:22,674
that was something that I enjoyed.
692
00:38:22,675 --> 00:38:26,136
I, at a pretty young age,
could beat him at most sports,
693
00:38:30,224 --> 00:38:33,601
which, you know, in our family
didn't go over very well
694
00:38:33,602 --> 00:38:34,436
'cause it was kind of like,
695
00:38:34,437 --> 00:38:36,146
"You're older than him, you lost to Luke?"
696
00:38:36,147 --> 00:38:37,439
You know, it was always
that type of stuff.
697
00:38:37,440 --> 00:38:40,108
The only thing I had be apart from him
698
00:38:40,109 --> 00:38:45,114
was just raw like will and
tenacity, that was my gift.
699
00:38:45,656 --> 00:38:46,698
And so dad said,
700
00:38:46,699 --> 00:38:47,866
"Joel, I think you should
partner with Luke."
701
00:38:47,867 --> 00:38:48,950
And I said, "No."
702
00:38:51,203 --> 00:38:55,165
Luke was playing basketball
and he was really set on it.
703
00:38:55,166 --> 00:38:56,499
I'd done all the training camps
704
00:38:56,500 --> 00:38:57,709
and everything my junior year
705
00:38:57,710 --> 00:39:01,129
and it came to the first
game I was playing great.
706
00:39:01,130 --> 00:39:05,426
And I went up for a rebound
and came down and (indistinct).
707
00:39:07,970 --> 00:39:11,056
That was a big pivotal
moment for me and my life.
708
00:39:11,057 --> 00:39:14,727
It had changed the course
of kind of everything.
709
00:39:15,770 --> 00:39:17,228
I had gone to mom and
I said, "Mom, you know,
710
00:39:17,229 --> 00:39:19,814
everybody in the family
kind of has their thing.
711
00:39:19,815 --> 00:39:20,982
You know, sports was my thing.
712
00:39:20,983 --> 00:39:22,233
I don't have my thing anymore.
713
00:39:22,234 --> 00:39:23,026
And you know, what do I do?
714
00:39:26,322 --> 00:39:29,199
Once again, dad has sort
of tried to wear me down.
715
00:39:29,200 --> 00:39:31,785
Like, you just do a song
with Luke, like poor fella.
716
00:39:31,786 --> 00:39:35,372
Look at him and maybe out
of sympathy, who knows?
717
00:39:35,373 --> 00:39:39,918
I was like, all right, well
let's just, we'll write a song.
718
00:39:51,180 --> 00:39:53,723
We actually played the song live
719
00:39:53,724 --> 00:39:56,811
with Rebecca St. James on
one of her later tours.
720
00:39:57,895 --> 00:40:01,523
Joel was dragging his brother along
721
00:40:01,524 --> 00:40:03,858
and resenting it in lots of ways.
722
00:40:03,859 --> 00:40:05,527
Didn't have a great relationship with him,
723
00:40:05,528 --> 00:40:07,529
didn't really respect him.
724
00:40:07,530 --> 00:40:11,242
He had no experience writing a song,
725
00:40:13,452 --> 00:40:17,373
really performing, singing
behind a microphone.
726
00:40:18,958 --> 00:40:21,835
After that, Luke and I,
for about five years,
727
00:40:21,836 --> 00:40:24,462
just wrote awful music.
728
00:40:24,463 --> 00:40:26,965
We wanted to play a snippet for you.
729
00:40:26,966 --> 00:40:28,300
Let us know what you think.
730
00:40:41,981 --> 00:40:43,690
- It's wrong chord, right?
- What would be amazing
731
00:40:43,691 --> 00:40:45,191
is if we could that our verse
732
00:40:45,192 --> 00:40:47,235
and then find a even better chorus.
733
00:40:48,446 --> 00:40:49,571
Nobody wanted to have
anything to do with us.
734
00:40:49,572 --> 00:40:53,074
You know, we were not successful at all.
735
00:40:53,075 --> 00:40:54,659
It was so bad.
736
00:41:07,089 --> 00:41:10,091
He was working at a call center
737
00:41:10,092 --> 00:41:12,052
I was living in Mom and Dad's basement.
738
00:41:13,554 --> 00:41:18,266
I had a 1987 Oldsmobile
that I named Old Betsy.
739
00:41:18,267 --> 00:41:19,976
I put Chrome hub caps on it
740
00:41:19,977 --> 00:41:22,770
and illegal tints that I had to take off.
741
00:41:22,771 --> 00:41:24,189
It was a strange time.
742
00:41:31,197 --> 00:41:34,199
Those years were difficult,
I remember one month
743
00:41:34,200 --> 00:41:37,076
that I had like $10
left in my bank account
744
00:41:37,077 --> 00:41:38,995
and that was just the way it was.
745
00:41:41,832 --> 00:41:45,001
We signed a development
deal with the only guy in town
746
00:41:45,002 --> 00:41:46,294
that really saw anything in us
747
00:41:46,295 --> 00:41:47,837
a guy named Shaun Shankel.
748
00:41:47,838 --> 00:41:50,924
Okay, so Shaun our producer,
749
00:41:50,925 --> 00:41:52,634
just showed up with the keyboard player
750
00:41:52,635 --> 00:41:55,429
and we're gonna go and
we're gonna go and say hi.
751
00:41:56,472 --> 00:41:59,474
And the whole idea was
that we were going to sign
752
00:41:59,475 --> 00:42:02,101
to Sean doing some production development-
753
00:42:02,102 --> 00:42:04,270
- For six months.
- For six months.
754
00:42:04,271 --> 00:42:06,272
That was that we were
gonna have a record deal
755
00:42:06,273 --> 00:42:07,273
in six months.
756
00:42:07,274 --> 00:42:10,652
There is no such thing
as a overnight success.
757
00:42:10,653 --> 00:42:12,695
If there indeed is something or someone
758
00:42:12,696 --> 00:42:15,281
that can be considered
an overnight success,
759
00:42:15,282 --> 00:42:18,910
then their success is probably
gonna be about that long too.
760
00:42:18,911 --> 00:42:20,578
The way that we saw things going
761
00:42:20,579 --> 00:42:22,622
and what actually
happened, I mean was just
762
00:42:22,623 --> 00:42:24,958
so far from reality.
763
00:42:24,959 --> 00:42:27,752
I remember meeting David Smallbone.
764
00:42:27,753 --> 00:42:31,756
He brought me The Deep was the name of it
765
00:42:31,757 --> 00:42:36,678
and that was Joel and Luke's
first band name iteration.
766
00:42:36,679 --> 00:42:41,684
And it was an EP of four songs
and I didn't like any of it.
767
00:42:48,065 --> 00:42:52,277
Except for the first
verse of the first song.
768
00:43:06,166 --> 00:43:07,250
I remember thinking,
769
00:43:07,251 --> 00:43:10,712
I think there's something
special hidden inside of this.
770
00:43:10,713 --> 00:43:13,256
We became his pet project
771
00:43:13,257 --> 00:43:17,760
and the amount of hours he
poured in and time and resource,
772
00:43:17,761 --> 00:43:19,513
you couldn't put a price tag on it.
773
00:43:21,390 --> 00:43:25,893
And it was everything
development should have been.
774
00:43:25,894 --> 00:43:29,314
It was awful. It was rewarding.
775
00:43:29,315 --> 00:43:31,524
Sean was good and bad for me.
776
00:43:31,525 --> 00:43:34,319
He was good for me because
he pushed me to be better.
777
00:43:34,320 --> 00:43:38,448
But he could be pretty tough
and I kind of needed that.
778
00:43:41,160 --> 00:43:43,119
I remember him going
into the studio saying,
779
00:43:43,120 --> 00:43:45,747
"Hey, you should try singing differently."
780
00:43:45,748 --> 00:43:47,374
Which was hard for me to hear.
781
00:43:48,959 --> 00:43:49,792
He taught me how to write songs.
782
00:43:49,793 --> 00:43:51,962
He taught me how to
sing in front of a mic.
783
00:44:00,179 --> 00:44:02,930
They would write and write
and produce and produce.
784
00:44:35,047 --> 00:44:37,465
No, no, no, not there,
not there, not there.
785
00:44:40,886 --> 00:44:43,596
But they just kept at it.
You know, they don't stop.
786
00:44:47,309 --> 00:44:49,435
There were times during that
where my wife would look at me
787
00:44:49,436 --> 00:44:51,562
and say, why are you doing this?
788
00:44:51,563 --> 00:44:52,855
This is going nowhere.
789
00:44:52,856 --> 00:44:55,775
There was every chance
that Joel and Luke
790
00:44:55,776 --> 00:44:58,945
were investing in something
that was a pipe dream.
791
00:44:58,946 --> 00:45:00,947
There was every chance that Luke
792
00:45:00,948 --> 00:45:02,990
was just gonna keep
working at this call center
793
00:45:02,991 --> 00:45:05,118
and Joel was just gonna keep road managing
794
00:45:05,119 --> 00:45:07,161
and that was kind of gonna be it.
795
00:45:07,162 --> 00:45:08,913
Hello, Luke
is a little concerned.
796
00:45:08,914 --> 00:45:12,375
They just, what felt at the
time, they lacked authenticity.
797
00:45:12,376 --> 00:45:16,295
You have to really find
where the struggle is,
798
00:45:16,296 --> 00:45:17,964
because I believe that that is
799
00:45:17,965 --> 00:45:19,882
what people connect with in artists.
800
00:45:25,055 --> 00:45:28,391
I felt if they could get
to that real honest center,
801
00:45:28,392 --> 00:45:31,519
that they could make an impact
on the world around them.
802
00:45:36,900 --> 00:45:39,277
I remember sitting down with Joel saying,
803
00:45:39,278 --> 00:45:40,862
"Okay, we've been doing all this work
804
00:45:40,863 --> 00:45:42,780
and I think we've got some
songs we can start to,
805
00:45:42,781 --> 00:45:46,492
you know, show, but you're
gonna have to perform."
806
00:45:46,493 --> 00:45:49,495
I remember him saying, "Don't
worry about that, we got that.
807
00:45:49,496 --> 00:45:51,956
We grew up our whole lives doing that."
808
00:45:51,957 --> 00:45:53,459
And I felt nervous.
809
00:45:59,089 --> 00:46:02,175
Thank you very much. Well
good evening everybody.
810
00:46:02,176 --> 00:46:04,927
I'm Joel from Joel and Luke.
811
00:46:04,928 --> 00:46:09,933
Luke, from Joel & Luke together.
- Yeah, I like it.
812
00:46:10,267 --> 00:46:13,352
I do remember that show very, very well.
813
00:46:13,353 --> 00:46:15,104
It was friends and family
814
00:46:15,105 --> 00:46:17,190
and about every string we could pull
815
00:46:17,191 --> 00:46:20,193
to give off the perception that yeah,
816
00:46:20,194 --> 00:46:21,903
there's something really happening here.
817
00:46:21,904 --> 00:46:24,822
Like this is really impressive
and I think it works kind of.
818
00:46:33,040 --> 00:46:37,168
We have like an intermission
and Shaun came in the back
819
00:46:37,169 --> 00:46:38,461
and he, we felt like
it'd gone pretty well-
820
00:46:38,462 --> 00:46:40,171
And we felt like it
would gone very well.
821
00:46:40,172 --> 00:46:41,506
And he looked at me and he goes,
822
00:46:41,507 --> 00:46:46,512
"Hey, so guys, Luke, well
can you hear yourself?"
823
00:46:53,727 --> 00:46:56,355
And I thought,
this is mediocre at best.
824
00:46:57,689 --> 00:46:59,273
You're trying to say this to the people
825
00:46:59,274 --> 00:47:00,942
that you'd been working
on music for years.
826
00:47:00,943 --> 00:47:04,111
Like this hasn't been in vain.
827
00:47:04,112 --> 00:47:06,572
It did have the feeling of we're failures,
828
00:47:06,573 --> 00:47:08,032
like we're failing right now.
829
00:47:16,291 --> 00:47:18,960
And so then that
started the next journey.
830
00:47:18,961 --> 00:47:21,879
What instruments can we play?
831
00:47:21,880 --> 00:47:24,465
And at first it was what
instruments can we fake?
832
00:47:24,466 --> 00:47:26,050
We kind of actually
started looking at the things
833
00:47:26,051 --> 00:47:27,051
that we could do and I was like,
834
00:47:27,052 --> 00:47:29,136
well I can kind of play
a little bit of drums
835
00:47:29,137 --> 00:47:32,473
and that's when we actually started using
836
00:47:32,474 --> 00:47:33,474
a lot of drums on stage
837
00:47:33,475 --> 00:47:36,894
'cause it was one of the
only things that I could do.
838
00:47:36,895 --> 00:47:37,937
We fought a lot over this.
839
00:47:37,938 --> 00:47:40,773
It was like, I wanted Luke
to take guitar lessons,
840
00:47:40,774 --> 00:47:41,941
learn how to play the guitar.
841
00:47:41,942 --> 00:47:43,568
Joel could play the piano and
he was getting better at it
842
00:47:43,569 --> 00:47:44,986
and he would practice
843
00:47:44,987 --> 00:47:47,154
and then he would get mad at
Luke for not doing anything.
844
00:47:47,155 --> 00:47:48,614
- Did you hear something?
- I did.
845
00:47:48,615 --> 00:47:51,200
It's Luke, we got him
locked in the vocal booth.
846
00:47:51,201 --> 00:47:52,827
- Oh.
- Can't believe.
847
00:47:52,828 --> 00:47:55,163
And it's 2:00 AM.
848
00:48:01,128 --> 00:48:03,796
- 45 days.
- 45 days.
849
00:48:03,797 --> 00:48:06,340
I remember having a
conversation with Luke
850
00:48:06,341 --> 00:48:10,678
and saying to him, you need
to decide if you're in or out
851
00:48:10,679 --> 00:48:14,599
because you are not contributing enough.
852
00:48:14,600 --> 00:48:16,142
You're not pulling your weight.
853
00:48:16,143 --> 00:48:17,895
It doesn't feel like
your heart is in this.
854
00:48:20,522 --> 00:48:25,485
A great source of my frustration
with Luke was him not
855
00:48:26,069 --> 00:48:29,614
really leaning in and for better
or for worse I was all in.
856
00:48:29,615 --> 00:48:33,242
Joel as sharp as his jawline, okay,
857
00:48:33,243 --> 00:48:36,037
is his commitment to all of the things
858
00:48:36,038 --> 00:48:38,039
that make For King & Country go.
859
00:48:38,040 --> 00:48:41,751
Luke, his hair is a
representation of his personality.
860
00:48:41,752 --> 00:48:43,377
It's free, it's in the wind,
861
00:48:43,378 --> 00:48:45,046
he's kind of going with the flow.
862
00:48:45,047 --> 00:48:45,880
I think you could say
863
00:48:45,881 --> 00:48:47,673
I was maybe a little wishy-washy.
864
00:48:47,674 --> 00:48:51,510
Luke's proclivity is,
if he doesn't go all in,
865
00:48:51,511 --> 00:48:53,471
then he doesn't really quite fail.
866
00:48:53,472 --> 00:48:55,264
In his mind I think he was going,
867
00:48:55,265 --> 00:48:57,600
I'll do this and I'll kind of lean in
868
00:48:57,601 --> 00:49:00,645
and I'll see what happens,
but it's kind of Joel's thing
869
00:49:00,646 --> 00:49:04,482
and if it doesn't work then
I don't really care that much
870
00:49:04,483 --> 00:49:07,985
because I'm not really like,
I'm not really (indistinct).
871
00:49:10,238 --> 00:49:14,868
The source of frustration got
so deep for me along the way
872
00:49:16,119 --> 00:49:19,664
that there were certainly
moments I go, "What am I doing?"
873
00:49:19,665 --> 00:49:21,374
Like this has been fun and good
874
00:49:21,375 --> 00:49:25,920
and I like having him as
kind of a little sidekick.
875
00:49:25,921 --> 00:49:27,505
But I remember even specifically
876
00:49:27,506 --> 00:49:28,798
when it started getting more serious,
877
00:49:28,799 --> 00:49:31,759
going to people and being
like, "Hey, Luke shouldn't get
878
00:49:31,760 --> 00:49:33,804
equal percentage in this band, right?"
879
00:49:34,721 --> 00:49:36,931
He came to me and said,
880
00:49:36,932 --> 00:49:38,683
"Hey, so we're gonna work
on this thing together.
881
00:49:38,684 --> 00:49:41,811
See, I've done this a
little bit longer than you.
882
00:49:41,812 --> 00:49:44,689
I've worked a little bit
harder than you on this.
883
00:49:44,690 --> 00:49:46,316
What about we do 60/40?"
884
00:49:47,609 --> 00:49:51,071
And I was like, "What?" I can't do that.
885
00:49:52,698 --> 00:49:55,367
My brother's a tough personality.
886
00:49:56,410 --> 00:49:58,285
He and I fought a lot
in those early days.
887
00:49:58,286 --> 00:50:00,705
And it was usually over ego
888
00:50:00,706 --> 00:50:05,711
and there was a lot of
frustration and lot of arguments.
889
00:50:06,503 --> 00:50:07,920
We fought a lot.
890
00:50:07,921 --> 00:50:11,007
Fast forward probably
about four or five years
891
00:50:11,008 --> 00:50:12,508
though, I got out of
the music business right
892
00:50:12,509 --> 00:50:15,262
after around that first record
came, Joel drove me out.
893
00:50:16,346 --> 00:50:18,640
I don't have great fond
memories of that time.
894
00:50:19,891 --> 00:50:21,892
It got really complicated.
895
00:50:21,893 --> 00:50:25,521
There was this sense of,
well, who's gonna call it?
896
00:50:25,522 --> 00:50:26,731
When's the penny gonna drop?
897
00:50:30,235 --> 00:50:31,360
I think if Joel had to come
898
00:50:31,361 --> 00:50:33,779
to me at one point and said, I'm out.
899
00:50:33,780 --> 00:50:36,615
There may have been pushed
back, but I may have gone okay.
900
00:50:36,616 --> 00:50:38,034
I mean, you know, I kind
of get it, you know,
901
00:50:38,035 --> 00:50:40,703
it's been pretty hard
and we haven't really,
902
00:50:40,704 --> 00:50:42,955
we haven't really done anything.
903
00:50:42,956 --> 00:50:44,999
Because I
don't think at that time
904
00:50:45,000 --> 00:50:49,963
Luke saw it as his lifelong job.
905
00:50:50,756 --> 00:50:53,049
There was something in him I think,
906
00:50:53,050 --> 00:50:55,509
that believed that his
presence didn't matter.
907
00:50:55,510 --> 00:50:58,220
And he would say to me a lot,
908
00:50:58,221 --> 00:51:01,474
if you think this is not
the right path for me,
909
00:51:01,475 --> 00:51:03,350
or like, who are we kidding?
910
00:51:03,351 --> 00:51:06,396
Like, tell me like almost
tell me to be done.
911
00:51:13,361 --> 00:51:15,279
We had to break through that as a writer
912
00:51:15,280 --> 00:51:16,823
and really find his voice.
913
00:51:26,708 --> 00:51:28,918
First song I ever
wrote that I was proud of
914
00:51:28,919 --> 00:51:31,337
was a song called "Crave."
915
00:51:31,338 --> 00:51:34,423
And it was a song that
I just wrote with Shaun.
916
00:51:34,424 --> 00:51:37,510
It came out of a direct
exercise that I had him do
917
00:51:37,511 --> 00:51:41,222
to try to get into some pain
and into some compassion
918
00:51:41,223 --> 00:51:43,015
and into some empathy.
919
00:51:43,016 --> 00:51:45,392
And we'd been studying lyrics
920
00:51:45,393 --> 00:51:48,854
and I was looking at a U2
song and I was like, man,
921
00:51:48,855 --> 00:51:51,148
at the end of the day,
like we all crave hope.
922
00:51:51,149 --> 00:51:52,650
Like look at these lyrics.
923
00:51:52,651 --> 00:51:56,612
And immediately it was
like, that's a song I'll do.
924
00:52:00,700 --> 00:52:02,618
That's what we were
always trying to find.
925
00:52:02,619 --> 00:52:05,121
It was like, Luke is turning a corner
926
00:52:05,122 --> 00:52:06,330
and becoming an artist.
927
00:52:06,331 --> 00:52:08,791
♪ Hope is what we crave ♪
928
00:52:08,792 --> 00:52:11,669
♪ And that will never change ♪
929
00:52:11,670 --> 00:52:14,840
♪ So I stand and wait ♪
930
00:52:18,969 --> 00:52:21,220
I kind of came to the
conclusion I wasn't gonna do this
931
00:52:21,221 --> 00:52:23,013
one foot in one foot
out, where I was like,
932
00:52:23,014 --> 00:52:25,474
I gotta give it everything to find out
933
00:52:25,475 --> 00:52:27,060
what this actually looks like.
934
00:52:29,312 --> 00:52:31,564
As a result, with him showing up
935
00:52:31,565 --> 00:52:34,525
his voice has been a really important
936
00:52:34,526 --> 00:52:36,527
and crucial part of For King & Country,
937
00:52:36,528 --> 00:52:38,654
really the heart in some ways.
938
00:52:40,448 --> 00:52:43,117
♪ It's written on my soul ♪
939
00:52:43,118 --> 00:52:45,995
♪ Hope's what we crave ♪
940
00:52:47,414 --> 00:52:48,247
♪ Ooh ♪
941
00:52:50,876 --> 00:52:53,460
♪ It's written on my soul ♪
942
00:52:53,461 --> 00:52:55,754
♪ Hope's what we crave ♪
943
00:52:59,259 --> 00:53:01,468
And we had spent that first
year and a half, two years
944
00:53:01,469 --> 00:53:06,474
working on their songs
and we were getting there.
945
00:53:06,600 --> 00:53:07,850
So then what we needed to do
946
00:53:07,851 --> 00:53:10,936
was just start booking
our first showcases.
947
00:53:10,937 --> 00:53:13,063
We would fly out to LA and Nashville
948
00:53:13,064 --> 00:53:15,608
and perform for different labels.
949
00:53:15,609 --> 00:53:17,318
We played showcases
950
00:53:17,319 --> 00:53:19,778
for all the major record
labels in America.
951
00:53:19,779 --> 00:53:21,405
You know, showcase after showcase,
952
00:53:21,406 --> 00:53:24,575
Warner Brothers, Universal,
we did one for Sony.
953
00:53:26,411 --> 00:53:28,287
They sort of saw some of the interest,
954
00:53:28,288 --> 00:53:29,705
they saw some of the uniqueness,
955
00:53:29,706 --> 00:53:31,290
but didn't see what they felt like
956
00:53:31,291 --> 00:53:34,001
was really gonna connect with people.
957
00:53:34,002 --> 00:53:38,297
They're always looking
for something quite narrow
958
00:53:38,298 --> 00:53:41,634
and you kind of gotta
be right in that lane.
959
00:53:41,635 --> 00:53:43,844
Joel and Luke are so artsy.
960
00:53:43,845 --> 00:53:46,680
I just wasn't sure that was gonna happen.
961
00:53:48,475 --> 00:53:51,770
But we had this shining beacon of hope.
962
00:53:53,605 --> 00:53:58,025
We had gotten this call from
Atlantic Records in New York
963
00:53:58,026 --> 00:54:00,903
that we were gonna have the
opportunity to play showcase
964
00:54:00,904 --> 00:54:04,407
for their president and
a few of their A&R folks.
965
00:54:05,617 --> 00:54:08,202
Going up there with this
like, we're gonna go
966
00:54:08,203 --> 00:54:11,997
and conquer the world in one
of the great cities in America.
967
00:54:11,998 --> 00:54:13,499
We thought we'd made it,
968
00:54:13,500 --> 00:54:18,254
we rented a bus, we were on a tour bus
969
00:54:18,255 --> 00:54:21,465
and we had rented a club and
we brought our brother, Daniel
970
00:54:21,466 --> 00:54:24,677
did our lighting like
we had stacked the deck.
971
00:54:24,678 --> 00:54:26,971
We were like, man, we're good to go.
972
00:54:26,972 --> 00:54:29,473
They walked in, we were so nervous.
973
00:55:11,683 --> 00:55:16,020
All I remember
afterwards was the evacuation.
974
00:55:16,021 --> 00:55:19,773
It was like, these people
are out like hardcore out.
975
00:55:19,774 --> 00:55:20,899
They don't give a rip.
976
00:55:24,362 --> 00:55:25,447
It was a low moment.
977
00:55:26,489 --> 00:55:28,991
I remember riding back on the tour bus
978
00:55:32,829 --> 00:55:37,834
crawling into the bunk and
the sinking feeling of like,
979
00:55:39,210 --> 00:55:41,587
is this the beginning of the end?
980
00:55:41,588 --> 00:55:46,342
I remember calling Moriah,
knowing that I really wanted
981
00:55:46,343 --> 00:55:49,511
to marry this girl and
just this feeling of like,
982
00:55:49,512 --> 00:55:50,346
what am I gonna do?
983
00:55:50,347 --> 00:55:53,098
Like where do I go from here?
984
00:55:53,099 --> 00:55:54,433
I don't know if she knew it on the call,
985
00:55:54,434 --> 00:55:55,518
but I remember crying.
986
00:55:56,686 --> 00:55:59,521
I think that was one of
the first times I remember
987
00:55:59,522 --> 00:56:03,233
seeing this man that I thought
was very indestructible
988
00:56:03,234 --> 00:56:05,819
and just a force.
989
00:56:05,820 --> 00:56:09,448
I saw a crack, I saw rejection and pain.
990
00:56:12,327 --> 00:56:15,496
Wondering if everything
he had just invested in
991
00:56:15,497 --> 00:56:17,832
and believed in was all for nothing.
992
00:56:19,250 --> 00:56:23,295
I think from the beginning
I had maybe more belief in him
993
00:56:23,296 --> 00:56:25,255
than he had in himself.
994
00:56:25,256 --> 00:56:27,007
He would ask me, how can you be
995
00:56:27,008 --> 00:56:28,676
confident that this will work?
996
00:56:30,220 --> 00:56:33,514
I just think it will something
special is developing
997
00:56:33,515 --> 00:56:36,016
and this is what you're supposed to do.
998
00:56:39,896 --> 00:56:42,314
I just felt like it was
important for him to know
999
00:56:42,315 --> 00:56:45,984
that no matter what the
circumstances looked like,
1000
00:56:45,985 --> 00:56:48,987
he was gonna make it, that
something was gonna click
1001
00:56:48,988 --> 00:56:50,656
and it was just about the right timing
1002
00:56:50,657 --> 00:56:52,408
and the right opportunity.
1003
00:56:52,409 --> 00:56:56,245
♪ She believes in me ♪
1004
00:56:56,246 --> 00:56:58,288
I've just always believed,
1005
00:56:58,289 --> 00:56:59,748
I just knew it was gonna happen.
1006
00:56:59,749 --> 00:57:01,376
♪ She believes in me ♪
1007
00:57:02,919 --> 00:57:07,924
Without Moriah's belief
in me, Courtney's in Luke
1008
00:57:08,967 --> 00:57:10,467
it just wouldn't have happened.
1009
00:57:41,458 --> 00:57:43,334
There was no going back at that point.
1010
00:57:45,420 --> 00:57:48,214
It was such a vulnerable time
1011
00:57:49,591 --> 00:57:51,425
because everything was
hanging in the balance.
1012
00:57:55,680 --> 00:57:58,056
We were really able to rally.
1013
00:58:00,810 --> 00:58:03,354
It was thick or thin, we
were gonna make it through.
1014
00:58:04,272 --> 00:58:06,273
And so we get back
the dust kind of settles
1015
00:58:06,274 --> 00:58:08,400
and just go right back at music,
1016
00:58:08,401 --> 00:58:11,195
writing songs and trying again.
1017
00:58:14,491 --> 00:58:15,532
There were these moments
1018
00:58:15,533 --> 00:58:18,452
when we'd think this is gonna work.
1019
00:58:18,453 --> 00:58:20,120
And at first they were
few and far between,
1020
00:58:20,121 --> 00:58:23,458
but then they started getting
closer together slowly.
1021
00:58:25,585 --> 00:58:27,836
And then Mark Bright took over Word.
1022
00:58:28,963 --> 00:58:30,047
One day where the studio
1023
00:58:30,048 --> 00:58:31,924
and a guy named Mark Bright called
1024
00:58:31,925 --> 00:58:36,470
and said, "I've heard some of
your music, I wanna sign you."
1025
00:58:38,890 --> 00:58:39,890
I was just, you know,
1026
00:58:39,891 --> 00:58:42,059
completely floored by the music.
1027
00:58:42,060 --> 00:58:43,727
I really decided in that moment
1028
00:58:43,728 --> 00:58:45,687
that I'm gonna sign this band.
1029
00:58:45,688 --> 00:58:47,898
I don't care who has passed on it,
1030
00:58:47,899 --> 00:58:51,026
I don't care about anything. I love it.
1031
00:58:51,027 --> 00:58:53,571
I said, okay, I want
need to meet the manager.
1032
00:58:54,447 --> 00:58:59,035
And David was like a lion in
the protective aspect of it,
1033
00:59:00,245 --> 00:59:03,455
making sure that this thing would succeed
1034
00:59:03,456 --> 00:59:05,207
and that they would get the right deal,
1035
00:59:05,208 --> 00:59:08,294
the right situation, be
around the right people.
1036
00:59:22,767 --> 00:59:23,934
I think that there's this feeling
1037
00:59:23,935 --> 00:59:26,395
from a lot of young
bands that if you can get
1038
00:59:26,396 --> 00:59:28,564
the record deal that you've arrived.
1039
00:59:28,565 --> 00:59:31,733
I think because of our
experience with Rebecca, we knew
1040
00:59:31,734 --> 00:59:33,277
that when you get the record deal,
1041
00:59:33,278 --> 00:59:34,653
that's just the beginning.
1042
00:59:36,573 --> 00:59:37,948
We had to figure out a band name
1043
00:59:37,949 --> 00:59:39,366
'cause nobody liked Joel and Luke
1044
00:59:39,367 --> 00:59:41,827
who wanted to go with Joel and Luke?
1045
00:59:41,828 --> 00:59:43,704
For days we were just running through,
1046
00:59:43,705 --> 00:59:46,164
they would come with these
big lists of band names.
1047
00:59:46,165 --> 00:59:50,335
I mean every road sign,
every newspaper article,
1048
00:59:50,336 --> 00:59:53,381
every word I would see would
become a potential band name.
1049
00:59:55,466 --> 00:59:58,385
Originally, when Luke and
I started working together
1050
00:59:58,386 --> 01:00:01,972
or writing together, people
would call us the boys
1051
01:00:01,973 --> 01:00:04,224
and we had a bit of a problem with it.
1052
01:00:04,225 --> 01:00:05,058
We didn't really like it.
1053
01:00:05,059 --> 01:00:07,019
So we sat down at this
meeting and we thought
1054
01:00:07,020 --> 01:00:08,520
we're gonna come up with some band names.
1055
01:00:08,521 --> 01:00:11,690
I came up with the idea of calling us
1056
01:00:11,691 --> 01:00:13,942
All The King's Men like the Humpty Dumpty,
1057
01:00:13,943 --> 01:00:16,486
all the king's horses
and all the king's men
1058
01:00:16,487 --> 01:00:18,614
didn't really have the right tone to it,
1059
01:00:18,615 --> 01:00:20,782
so our producer said-
1060
01:00:20,783 --> 01:00:23,160
No, it's For King & Country.
1061
01:00:23,161 --> 01:00:26,371
You are for King for God,
for country for people.
1062
01:00:26,372 --> 01:00:27,205
It is you.
1063
01:00:27,206 --> 01:00:29,583
So from this time out
we're gonna be called-
1064
01:00:29,584 --> 01:00:31,335
For King & Country.
1065
01:00:54,776 --> 01:00:56,943
The live show has always been
1066
01:00:56,944 --> 01:00:58,028
one of our favorite things to do.
1067
01:00:58,029 --> 01:00:59,363
It's been one of our strengths.
1068
01:00:59,364 --> 01:01:01,531
And so it was always labels, always like,
1069
01:01:01,532 --> 01:01:02,699
if we can get you in front of people,
1070
01:01:02,700 --> 01:01:03,533
if we can get you in front of people.
1071
01:01:03,534 --> 01:01:05,035
Well, Winter Jam was that ticket.
1072
01:01:05,036 --> 01:01:06,119
So the first thing
1073
01:01:06,120 --> 01:01:09,414
that I ever heard was them on Winter Jam
1074
01:01:09,415 --> 01:01:13,085
what I thought they did so
brilliantly was they gave you
1075
01:01:13,086 --> 01:01:16,088
no reasons to not love their show.
1076
01:01:16,089 --> 01:01:17,422
Something special happened
1077
01:01:17,423 --> 01:01:19,841
when For King & Country got on stage.
1078
01:01:19,842 --> 01:01:22,094
Even if they weren't headlining,
1079
01:01:22,095 --> 01:01:23,553
everybody walked away from the show
1080
01:01:23,554 --> 01:01:26,182
like they probably should
have though (laughing).
1081
01:01:28,142 --> 01:01:30,811
They had all the drums and all the drama
1082
01:01:30,812 --> 01:01:34,023
and all the King Arthur of Camelot stuff.
1083
01:01:35,024 --> 01:01:39,153
There is no reason not to love
this. It's just so exciting.
1084
01:01:40,863 --> 01:01:44,282
Winter Jam is a sort
of plug and play show.
1085
01:01:44,283 --> 01:01:48,120
You do the same show every
night for three months.
1086
01:01:48,121 --> 01:01:49,579
It wasn't like that for them.
1087
01:01:49,580 --> 01:01:51,665
And every night was a new group of people
1088
01:01:51,666 --> 01:01:55,043
where can we tweak this
just if it's a percent more
1089
01:01:55,044 --> 01:01:56,712
to be better than it was last night.
1090
01:01:56,713 --> 01:01:58,715
And I watched them do that consistently.
1091
01:01:59,716 --> 01:02:02,384
Okay, we're practicing about to go out
1092
01:02:02,385 --> 01:02:04,094
and visit the people waiting in line
1093
01:02:04,095 --> 01:02:05,972
with the Winter Jam experience.
1094
01:02:06,889 --> 01:02:08,390
This is "Busted Heart."
1095
01:02:16,441 --> 01:02:17,607
And so from about
1096
01:02:17,608 --> 01:02:20,318
like 3:00 PM till almost midnight,
1097
01:02:20,319 --> 01:02:23,780
we were doing some kind of
show like thing for Winter Jam.
1098
01:02:25,950 --> 01:02:27,284
We really celebrated that moment
1099
01:02:27,285 --> 01:02:31,830
because it felt like
the belief and the hope
1100
01:02:31,831 --> 01:02:35,667
and the investment that everyone made,
1101
01:02:35,668 --> 01:02:36,835
is becoming something.
1102
01:02:39,255 --> 01:02:41,965
There were all hands
on deck in that season.
1103
01:02:41,966 --> 01:02:44,342
I was pregnant with our first child, Jude.
1104
01:02:44,343 --> 01:02:48,263
We had two 15 passenger seat vans.
1105
01:02:48,264 --> 01:02:51,057
One had a hole in it,
so that was exciting.
1106
01:02:51,058 --> 01:02:54,269
There is a certain
drive you have to have,
1107
01:02:54,270 --> 01:02:56,731
or you more than likely
are never gonna make it.
1108
01:02:57,565 --> 01:02:58,982
You're gonna have to get in the van
1109
01:02:58,983 --> 01:03:00,734
and you're gonna have to
drive the van yourself
1110
01:03:00,735 --> 01:03:02,861
all night long and then
you're gonna have to show
1111
01:03:02,862 --> 01:03:04,863
over that radio station
and you don't even hardly
1112
01:03:04,864 --> 01:03:08,158
have a voice, but you are
there to do whatever you can do
1113
01:03:08,159 --> 01:03:10,368
because you don't think you deserve it.
1114
01:03:10,369 --> 01:03:12,204
Nobody could ever say
that For King & Country
1115
01:03:12,205 --> 01:03:15,207
was not willing to put the
blood, sweat and tears in.
1116
01:03:15,208 --> 01:03:17,751
And even if they were, their
dad wouldn't have let 'em.
1117
01:03:20,338 --> 01:03:24,550
You get out there boys, Dave's
not messing around none.
1118
01:03:26,093 --> 01:03:27,594
I remember it was raining.
1119
01:03:27,595 --> 01:03:30,639
And so we put all their show
flyers and Ziploc baggies
1120
01:03:30,640 --> 01:03:34,059
and put them on car
windshields in parking lots
1121
01:03:34,060 --> 01:03:36,144
and tried to get people
to come out to the show
1122
01:03:36,145 --> 01:03:37,979
and like people actually showed up.
1123
01:03:43,736 --> 01:03:46,446
We had released a song,
it was our first single ever
1124
01:03:46,447 --> 01:03:48,865
and it was a song called "Busted Heart."
1125
01:03:48,866 --> 01:03:52,828
We were in New Mexico and
people were singing it.
1126
01:03:52,829 --> 01:03:55,372
A little song that I wrote
in a tiny little room.
1127
01:03:55,373 --> 01:03:58,793
It had gotten to New Mexico
and it meant something to them.
1128
01:03:59,669 --> 01:04:02,254
The first moment I had
ever seen a group of people
1129
01:04:02,255 --> 01:04:05,549
that wasn't like my family sing my songs.
1130
01:04:05,550 --> 01:04:08,677
I just want to hear
this band on the radio
1131
01:04:08,678 --> 01:04:10,262
because if people were gonna get it,
1132
01:04:10,263 --> 01:04:12,472
they're really gonna get it.
1133
01:04:12,473 --> 01:04:15,267
And you know, they did. People got it.
1134
01:04:15,268 --> 01:04:17,769
♪ Hold on to me ♪
1135
01:04:17,770 --> 01:04:20,522
So we released the first record
1136
01:04:20,523 --> 01:04:24,025
and kind of charged into the music world
1137
01:04:24,026 --> 01:04:26,695
and at that point it had
been, you know, seven years
1138
01:04:26,696 --> 01:04:31,701
of development and there
was so much kind of triumph.
1139
01:04:31,993 --> 01:04:35,704
♪ Hold on to me ♪
1140
01:04:35,705 --> 01:04:40,710
This was the result of
many years of faithfulness,
1141
01:04:41,043 --> 01:04:43,378
hard work, strategy and execution
1142
01:04:43,379 --> 01:04:45,338
that even preceded For King & Country.
1143
01:04:46,674 --> 01:04:51,679
♪ Hold on to me ♪
1144
01:04:52,430 --> 01:04:54,931
♪ Winters come back again ♪
1145
01:04:54,932 --> 01:04:57,267
♪ Soon this season will end ♪
1146
01:04:57,268 --> 01:04:59,561
♪ I'll surrender tonight ♪
1147
01:04:59,562 --> 01:05:03,023
♪ You'll meet me right where I am ♪
1148
01:05:05,693 --> 01:05:09,362
It was a great tour. It
was a lot of stress for Luke.
1149
01:05:09,363 --> 01:05:13,450
Midway through that tour,
he started feeling ill.
1150
01:05:13,451 --> 01:05:14,492
He started losing weight.
1151
01:05:14,493 --> 01:05:16,620
We were
doing a lot of crazy hours
1152
01:05:16,621 --> 01:05:20,415
of like driving till three in the morning,
1153
01:05:20,416 --> 01:05:23,668
napping in a hotel for two
hours, getting back in,
1154
01:05:23,669 --> 01:05:25,795
you know, the food's not
great at gas stations,
1155
01:05:25,796 --> 01:05:28,507
but it kept getting progressively worse.
1156
01:05:29,634 --> 01:05:31,760
I think I tried to pretend
as if it wasn't real, you know,
1157
01:05:31,761 --> 01:05:33,762
I was kinda like, I've
seen some symptoms of,
1158
01:05:33,763 --> 01:05:36,014
my body's not quite right,
but I just was like, man,
1159
01:05:36,015 --> 01:05:38,309
you just tough it out
and you just keep going.
1160
01:05:39,769 --> 01:05:43,480
I had my wedding day
and he was skin and bones.
1161
01:05:46,067 --> 01:05:51,029
And this contrast of that,
I found my life partner
1162
01:05:51,030 --> 01:05:52,739
and I'm so happy to be married to her.
1163
01:05:52,740 --> 01:05:54,366
And then my, you know, my brother
1164
01:05:54,367 --> 01:05:57,869
and my vocational partner is not wanting
1165
01:05:57,870 --> 01:06:01,498
to steal anything but
is just deeply unwell.
1166
01:06:01,499 --> 01:06:03,959
And we'd fought through
so much at this point
1167
01:06:03,960 --> 01:06:05,585
and it was finally clicking, you know,
1168
01:06:05,586 --> 01:06:08,338
I was like, I'm getting
married and you're married
1169
01:06:08,339 --> 01:06:13,344
and you just have your new
child and you're really ill.
1170
01:06:17,014 --> 01:06:22,019
Joel was still on a honeymoon
and Luke's wife calls us
1171
01:06:23,604 --> 01:06:28,609
and says, "I don't know
what to do, Luke won't eat."
1172
01:06:30,444 --> 01:06:31,528
Technically I still have a disease
1173
01:06:31,529 --> 01:06:32,862
called ulcerative colitis.
1174
01:06:38,744 --> 01:06:41,246
So sick, I got down to about 125 pounds
1175
01:06:41,247 --> 01:06:43,248
and I stopped weighing myself after that
1176
01:06:43,249 --> 01:06:45,125
'cause it was so depressing.
1177
01:06:45,126 --> 01:06:46,251
My hair was falling out
1178
01:06:46,252 --> 01:06:50,213
because it just was that malnourished.
1179
01:06:50,214 --> 01:06:52,048
The doctor was
frightened when he saw him
1180
01:06:52,049 --> 01:06:54,843
and said, you get so weak,
1181
01:06:54,844 --> 01:06:57,178
your muscles get so weak at
that point that your heart,
1182
01:06:57,179 --> 01:06:58,430
you go into cardiac arrest.
1183
01:07:00,516 --> 01:07:03,435
His heart was
just going crazy all the time.
1184
01:07:03,436 --> 01:07:06,062
I would just be in bed and pray,
1185
01:07:06,063 --> 01:07:07,689
"Lord, cover his heart tonight.
1186
01:07:07,690 --> 01:07:09,650
Like let everything keep working."
1187
01:07:11,027 --> 01:07:12,902
And I stayed
with them for three weeks
1188
01:07:12,903 --> 01:07:16,448
just cooking meals and supporting
in whatever way I could.
1189
01:07:16,449 --> 01:07:20,077
And that held us through
that very scary time.
1190
01:07:20,911 --> 01:07:24,080
We went to Luke and Courtney's house.
1191
01:07:24,081 --> 01:07:26,916
Luke weighing less than me at that time,
1192
01:07:26,917 --> 01:07:30,421
he was just so, so fragile.
1193
01:07:31,589 --> 01:07:33,465
Jude started crying
1194
01:07:33,466 --> 01:07:38,094
and Luke wanted to comfort his own son,
1195
01:07:38,095 --> 01:07:40,181
but he was too weak to pick him up.
1196
01:07:41,307 --> 01:07:44,977
Kind of drag him across the
bed and really struggle to just
1197
01:07:45,978 --> 01:07:48,898
get his baby into his
arm so he could hold him.
1198
01:07:50,483 --> 01:07:51,483
He was bedridden
1199
01:07:51,484 --> 01:07:54,944
and couldn't even go on
walks outside the home.
1200
01:07:54,945 --> 01:07:56,780
There was family members
that were having dreams
1201
01:07:56,781 --> 01:07:57,989
about him dying.
1202
01:07:57,990 --> 01:08:02,368
I mean, it was just extremely
sobering, extremely sobering.
1203
01:08:02,369 --> 01:08:04,829
He was really death warmed up
1204
01:08:04,830 --> 01:08:07,708
and we didn't know what the future was.
1205
01:08:09,210 --> 01:08:12,754
For the first time
in raising our family,
1206
01:08:12,755 --> 01:08:15,632
both David and I actually
had to contemplate
1207
01:08:15,633 --> 01:08:18,927
that this may be a terminal
illness, that we might lose him
1208
01:08:18,928 --> 01:08:22,972
and it's not a place any
parents should visit.
1209
01:08:22,973 --> 01:08:24,057
It's a hard place.
1210
01:08:26,143 --> 01:08:29,104
But it was an intense few months
1211
01:08:29,105 --> 01:08:33,776
of just around the clock care
and around the clock worrying.
1212
01:08:35,194 --> 01:08:37,654
You know, you never
quite plan for a moment
1213
01:08:37,655 --> 01:08:41,157
when the person that you love the most
1214
01:08:41,158 --> 01:08:44,828
says to you, you know,
just don't leave me.
1215
01:08:44,829 --> 01:08:49,834
And you know, you say the
things that you can say,
1216
01:08:49,917 --> 01:08:52,669
and that is, you know, it's gonna be okay,
1217
01:08:52,670 --> 01:08:53,503
I'm gonna be fine.
1218
01:08:53,504 --> 01:08:56,297
And I didn't know if it was gonna be okay.
1219
01:08:59,426 --> 01:09:04,431
♪ I don't want to live without you ♪
1220
01:09:05,975 --> 01:09:10,980
♪ I'm not ready to live without you ♪
1221
01:09:13,357 --> 01:09:17,569
♪ So let's dance a
little, laugh a little ♪
1222
01:09:17,570 --> 01:09:19,988
♪ And hope a little more ♪
1223
01:09:19,989 --> 01:09:24,117
♪ Yes let's dance a
little, laugh a little ♪
1224
01:09:24,118 --> 01:09:26,828
♪ And hope a little more ♪
1225
01:09:26,829 --> 01:09:31,834
♪ Cause I don't want to live
without you, without you ♪
1226
01:09:44,763 --> 01:09:49,268
So I flew to a
performance where we played
1227
01:09:50,227 --> 01:09:52,729
for the first time ever
without my brother.
1228
01:09:55,316 --> 01:09:58,109
I got my wish, like I was in the stadium
1229
01:09:58,110 --> 01:10:00,571
doing the show without him.
1230
01:10:02,239 --> 01:10:05,992
I was tuned in live
watching that performance.
1231
01:10:05,993 --> 01:10:08,495
I remember that feeling
very, very clearly.
1232
01:10:09,330 --> 01:10:11,456
The road does provide
some sort of like band
1233
01:10:11,457 --> 01:10:13,166
of brothers mentality.
1234
01:10:13,167 --> 01:10:15,960
You know, you're meant to
be there and I couldn't be.
1235
01:10:18,964 --> 01:10:23,969
It was a strange night
performing without him
1236
01:10:25,262 --> 01:10:28,056
knowing that he was actually watching.
1237
01:10:30,267 --> 01:10:33,561
It is brilliant to be
here with you tonight.
1238
01:10:33,562 --> 01:10:36,606
It's a bit of a sad day for
us, as some of you might know
1239
01:10:36,607 --> 01:10:40,318
our little brother Luke,
who makes up the other part
1240
01:10:40,319 --> 01:10:43,571
of For King & Country,
is absent this evening.
1241
01:10:43,572 --> 01:10:48,409
He is ill. We ask for your
prayers and your support.
1242
01:10:48,410 --> 01:10:52,914
I actually turned away
from the TV and kind of wept.
1243
01:10:52,915 --> 01:10:53,748
As a younger brother,
1244
01:10:53,749 --> 01:10:56,209
you still want your
older brother's approval.
1245
01:10:56,210 --> 01:11:00,713
And so I could see that
I meant something to him
1246
01:11:00,714 --> 01:11:02,758
and I could see a void on stage.
1247
01:11:04,468 --> 01:11:08,096
And it was the great
solidifier of our partnership
1248
01:11:08,097 --> 01:11:10,015
because it was like, I don't want this.
1249
01:11:11,475 --> 01:11:16,480
All those years of, I didn't
choose this, I didn't want this
1250
01:11:18,691 --> 01:11:23,027
to this place of going, not
only do I want him here,
1251
01:11:23,028 --> 01:11:24,362
but I need him here.
1252
01:11:24,363 --> 01:11:28,074
Set everything aside, set
family of origin aside,
1253
01:11:28,075 --> 01:11:29,868
set our history aside.
1254
01:11:30,995 --> 01:11:33,788
Let's choose each other.
And we did that night.
1255
01:11:39,628 --> 01:11:43,423
Not only, I think relationally
was that moment in 2013
1256
01:11:43,424 --> 01:11:46,592
the great solidifier for Luke and I.
1257
01:11:46,593 --> 01:11:50,847
But I actually think it was
a great solidifier as artists
1258
01:11:50,848 --> 01:11:54,642
because, you know, pain
will find us all in life.
1259
01:11:54,643 --> 01:11:55,893
Suffering will find us all.
1260
01:11:55,894 --> 01:12:00,899
But for us, in our dynamic
of childhood and growing up,
1261
01:12:01,150 --> 01:12:05,069
we had not been the front
runner of pain and suffering.
1262
01:12:05,070 --> 01:12:06,738
That was Mom and Dad.
1263
01:12:06,739 --> 01:12:11,744
And I think in many ways
it gave us a song to sing.
1264
01:12:13,996 --> 01:12:16,915
We locked in as partners and as brothers.
1265
01:12:18,292 --> 01:12:21,337
We started to see who
each other was individually.
1266
01:12:23,005 --> 01:12:25,591
It was the
beginning of this deep well
1267
01:12:27,426 --> 01:12:29,927
gushing forth in their music.
1268
01:12:29,928 --> 01:12:32,430
That was it. That was
when it started to blossom.
1269
01:12:32,431 --> 01:12:35,141
It was shocking to see it go so quickly.
1270
01:12:35,142 --> 01:12:36,684
It just almost never happens.
1271
01:12:36,685 --> 01:12:39,562
The Lord used all of that
hard work and gave them
1272
01:12:39,563 --> 01:12:41,397
a much larger platform.
1273
01:12:41,398 --> 01:12:43,524
Please welcome For King & Country.
1274
01:12:43,525 --> 01:12:45,068
Knowing that
I'm very excited about it-
1275
01:12:45,069 --> 01:12:47,320
- Dolly Parton's on the phone.
- And I'm looking forward,
1276
01:12:47,321 --> 01:12:49,489
this song just came through my office
1277
01:12:49,490 --> 01:12:50,823
and they started playing it and I went,
1278
01:12:50,824 --> 01:12:52,700
"Oh, oh, I can't believe that."
1279
01:12:52,701 --> 01:12:55,703
I thought it was one of the
best songs I'd ever heard.
1280
01:12:55,704 --> 01:12:56,996
For King & Country has reached
1281
01:12:56,997 --> 01:12:59,875
number one on both billboard
and Christian charts.
1282
01:13:00,918 --> 01:13:03,336
For King & Country have
exceeded their wildest dreams.
1283
01:13:03,337 --> 01:13:05,798
With a chance to take home
two Grammys on Sunday.
1284
01:13:07,007 --> 01:13:09,675
The Grammy goes to "God Only Knows."
1285
01:13:16,517 --> 01:13:19,560
No matter how hard those
trials you might face might be,
1286
01:13:19,561 --> 01:13:20,771
there is always hope.
1287
01:13:21,647 --> 01:13:25,733
And that's the reason why we do music.
1288
01:13:25,734 --> 01:13:27,360
Joel and Luke Smallbone
1289
01:13:27,361 --> 01:13:29,654
are one of the biggest duos
1290
01:13:29,655 --> 01:13:31,115
in the music business.
1291
01:13:32,449 --> 01:13:34,575
Two-time Grammy award-winning rock group
1292
01:13:34,576 --> 01:13:37,328
For King & Country.
- For King & Country.
1293
01:13:37,329 --> 01:13:39,414
- For King & Country.
- Let's go.
1294
01:13:44,753 --> 01:13:49,048
It's just a sweet triumph
for everyone, for their family,
1295
01:13:49,049 --> 01:13:52,427
for the band, for fans who believe.
1296
01:13:52,428 --> 01:13:54,429
For King and Country, have
amassed millions of fans
1297
01:13:54,430 --> 01:13:56,389
that've scored four Grammys.
- Oh.
1298
01:13:56,390 --> 01:13:59,058
♪ We're comin' clean, we're born again ♪
1299
01:13:59,059 --> 01:14:02,103
♪ Our hopeful lungs can breathe again ♪
1300
01:14:07,317 --> 01:14:11,988
♪ Step into a new day ♪
1301
01:14:11,989 --> 01:14:16,994
♪ We can rise up from
the dust and walk away ♪
1302
01:14:17,035 --> 01:14:22,040
♪ We can dance upon the heartache, yeah ♪
1303
01:14:23,375 --> 01:14:27,753
♪ So light a match, leave
the past, burn the ships ♪
1304
01:14:27,754 --> 01:14:29,755
♪ And don't you look back ♪
1305
01:14:57,868 --> 01:14:59,660
Make no mistake,
1306
01:14:59,661 --> 01:15:02,205
this is not just a story about Luke or me
1307
01:15:02,206 --> 01:15:04,665
or the band that we're a part of.
1308
01:15:04,666 --> 01:15:08,337
Not a story about record sales,
tours, accolades, or awards.
1309
01:15:09,338 --> 01:15:11,214
It's a human story about the people
1310
01:15:11,215 --> 01:15:13,300
that persevered through struggle.
1311
01:15:14,301 --> 01:15:15,510
Well, decades later,
1312
01:15:15,511 --> 01:15:18,304
I saw the boys in one of their concerts.
1313
01:15:18,305 --> 01:15:20,306
As I was watching them,
1314
01:15:20,307 --> 01:15:25,020
Joel said there was a lady
named Kay, that helped them.
1315
01:15:26,271 --> 01:15:29,148
And I was just sitting
there and I just thought,
1316
01:15:29,149 --> 01:15:32,569
look what God has done,
look what God has done.
1317
01:15:34,196 --> 01:15:35,780
It's record label executives
1318
01:15:35,781 --> 01:15:39,075
and publishers who gave us a
chance when no one else would.
1319
01:15:42,663 --> 01:15:46,082
It's a story of faith
that guided and provided
1320
01:15:46,083 --> 01:15:48,961
during those dark nights
and really long days.
1321
01:15:50,462 --> 01:15:52,338
If there's a legacy for Helen's
1322
01:15:52,339 --> 01:15:56,008
and my life is that we as a family
1323
01:15:56,009 --> 01:15:59,930
have encouraged people
to take Jesus seriously.
1324
01:16:01,098 --> 01:16:04,141
It's a story about
those who believed in us
1325
01:16:04,142 --> 01:16:05,977
and our friends who showed
up at our performances
1326
01:16:05,978 --> 01:16:08,105
and encouraged us to keep pressing forward
1327
01:16:10,899 --> 01:16:13,235
You're like my hero.
1328
01:16:15,279 --> 01:16:18,656
It's a story about
our siblings, these sisters
1329
01:16:18,657 --> 01:16:21,993
and brothers who rolled up their sleeves
1330
01:16:21,994 --> 01:16:26,581
and rallied to give
their gifts and talents
1331
01:16:26,582 --> 01:16:28,874
and hard work to partner with us
1332
01:16:28,875 --> 01:16:31,586
for something greater than themselves.
1333
01:16:31,587 --> 01:16:35,840
It's a story about our wives,
Courtney, a mother, writer,
1334
01:16:35,841 --> 01:16:39,719
speaker, and my darling
wife Moriah, an actor,
1335
01:16:39,720 --> 01:16:42,555
producer, Latin country artist.
1336
01:16:42,556 --> 01:16:44,348
These great women who stood for us
1337
01:16:44,349 --> 01:16:46,601
when we could not stand for ourselves.
1338
01:16:50,606 --> 01:16:53,441
I never dreamed
that we would be able
1339
01:16:53,442 --> 01:16:56,110
to be involved in impacting people's lives
1340
01:16:56,111 --> 01:16:57,613
as a family like we have.
1341
01:16:58,614 --> 01:17:01,616
It's only God who can do that stuff.
1342
01:17:09,666 --> 01:17:12,044
This is not a story
about the band we're a part of
1343
01:17:13,503 --> 01:17:16,548
it's a great story of a
father who never gave up.
1344
01:17:17,674 --> 01:17:21,385
I saw him as a boy getting
out of bed every morning
1345
01:17:21,386 --> 01:17:24,221
when he'd been rejected
by everyone in this town.
1346
01:17:24,222 --> 01:17:28,434
To him believing in his daughter
and then believing in us.
1347
01:17:32,522 --> 01:17:35,358
It's a story about a
powerful mom who stood
1348
01:17:35,359 --> 01:17:38,944
by her husband when it
made absolutely no sense.
1349
01:17:41,156 --> 01:17:43,574
It's a story about our eldest sister
1350
01:17:43,575 --> 01:17:45,284
who cared for her family and allowed
1351
01:17:45,285 --> 01:17:48,913
these two ragamuffin brothers
a place behind her on stage
1352
01:17:48,914 --> 01:17:51,166
to find their own voices.
1353
01:17:52,000 --> 01:17:53,834
It's a story about her finding love
1354
01:17:53,835 --> 01:17:55,753
and a fulfilled dream of family.
1355
01:17:55,754 --> 01:17:58,881
Using her voice now stronger
and brighter than ever
1356
01:17:58,882 --> 01:18:00,883
alongside her partner, both in life
1357
01:18:00,884 --> 01:18:03,803
and yes, on the stage as well.
1358
01:18:03,804 --> 01:18:07,473
And lastly, it is also a
story about a pair of brothers
1359
01:18:07,474 --> 01:18:10,893
who honestly didn't quite
get along growing up,
1360
01:18:10,894 --> 01:18:13,729
but chose through
injury, illness, failure,
1361
01:18:13,730 --> 01:18:17,108
and desperation to not only
set aside their differences,
1362
01:18:17,109 --> 01:18:20,820
but to find a common voice
in music to band together
1363
01:18:20,821 --> 01:18:22,739
with no plan B and no turning back.
1364
01:18:50,559 --> 01:18:53,686
♪ I used to be a beggar ♪
1365
01:18:53,687 --> 01:18:58,692
♪ Down on calloused knees ♪
1366
01:18:59,985 --> 01:19:03,362
♪ Till I got an invitation ♪
1367
01:19:03,363 --> 01:19:08,368
♪ Into the courts of the King ♪
1368
01:19:10,662 --> 01:19:13,038
♪ I'm moving on, I'm moving on ♪
1369
01:19:13,039 --> 01:19:15,499
♪ I'm moving on, keep moving ♪
1370
01:19:15,500 --> 01:19:17,918
♪ I'm moving on, I'm moving on ♪
1371
01:19:17,919 --> 01:19:19,670
♪ I'm moving on ♪
1372
01:19:19,671 --> 01:19:22,631
♪ You gave me my freedom ♪
1373
01:19:22,632 --> 01:19:27,637
♪ Now I'm free indeed ♪
1374
01:19:28,722 --> 01:19:32,224
♪ I'm marching out of
the doubt into trust ♪
1375
01:19:32,225 --> 01:19:34,894
♪ Out of the me into us ♪
1376
01:19:34,895 --> 01:19:38,481
♪ No turning back, no turning back, ♪
1377
01:19:38,482 --> 01:19:41,859
♪ I'm falling head over heels into love ♪
1378
01:19:41,860 --> 01:19:44,779
♪ Leaving regret in the dust ♪
1379
01:19:44,780 --> 01:19:49,785
♪ No turning back, no turning
back, no turning back ♪
1380
01:19:51,077 --> 01:19:52,912
♪ No ♪
1381
01:19:52,913 --> 01:19:56,624
♪ And If I'm caught in the crossfire ♪
1382
01:19:56,625 --> 01:20:01,630
♪ I will stand my ground ♪
1383
01:20:02,672 --> 01:20:06,300
♪ And even if I were to lose my life ♪
1384
01:20:06,301 --> 01:20:11,306
♪ Your arms are where I'll be found ♪
1385
01:20:12,349 --> 01:20:15,726
♪ I'm marching out of
the doubt into trust ♪
1386
01:20:15,727 --> 01:20:18,562
♪ Out of the me into us ♪
1387
01:20:18,563 --> 01:20:22,191
♪ No turning back, no turning back ♪
1388
01:20:22,192 --> 01:20:25,361
♪ I'm falling head over heels into love ♪
1389
01:20:25,362 --> 01:20:28,280
♪ Leaving regret in the dust ♪
1390
01:20:28,281 --> 01:20:31,367
♪ No turning back, no turning back ♪
1391
01:20:31,368 --> 01:20:36,373
♪ No turning back, oh, oh no ♪
1392
01:20:36,915 --> 01:20:49,970
♪ Turning back, oh, oh no ♪
106156
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.