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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:04,162 WWW.MY-SUBS.COM 1 00:00:00,492 --> 00:00:03,840 ♪ It seems today that all you see ♪ 2 00:00:03,880 --> 00:00:07,152 ♪ Is violence in movies and sex on TV ♪ 3 00:00:07,184 --> 00:00:10,754 ♪ But where are those good old-fashioned values ♪ 4 00:00:10,787 --> 00:00:13,757 ♪ On which we used to rely? ♪ 5 00:00:13,790 --> 00:00:17,262 ♪ Lucky there's a family guy ♪ 6 00:00:17,295 --> 00:00:20,832 ♪ Lucky there's a man who positively can do ♪ 7 00:00:20,865 --> 00:00:22,300 ♪ All the things that make us ♪ 8 00:00:22,332 --> 00:00:23,667 ♪ Laugh and cry ♪ 9 00:00:23,701 --> 00:00:29,341 ♪ He's... a... Fam... ily... Guy! ♪ 10 00:00:29,342 --> 00:00:33,986 Sync and corrections by btsix www.MY-SUBS.com 11 00:00:34,020 --> 00:00:36,322 ANNOUNCER: We now return to The Last Man on Earth 12 00:00:36,355 --> 00:00:39,392 Plus These Other 16 People with More Showing Up Every Day. 13 00:00:39,425 --> 00:00:41,145 No way they'll pull this off. 14 00:00:41,147 --> 00:00:42,854 A show with just one character 15 00:00:42,856 --> 00:00:44,826 and an unlimited number of other characters? 16 00:00:44,828 --> 00:00:47,564 Peter, you can't just sit there and watch TV all day. 17 00:00:47,597 --> 00:00:49,834 - You have to mow the lawn. - Aw, this sucks. 18 00:00:49,867 --> 00:00:51,575 I was gonna go down to the Guitar Center 19 00:00:51,608 --> 00:00:52,715 and annoy people. 20 00:01:00,376 --> 00:01:04,429 FYI: My mom's not picking me up for a long time, because... 21 00:01:06,989 --> 00:01:08,360 she's dead! 22 00:01:11,921 --> 00:01:13,390 Hey, Brian, you want a beer? 23 00:01:13,424 --> 00:01:15,063 Peter, Lois is gonna be home soon. 24 00:01:15,095 --> 00:01:16,509 Shouldn't you be mowing the lawn? 25 00:01:16,542 --> 00:01:18,061 I am mowing the lawn. 26 00:01:18,094 --> 00:01:20,611 (BLEATING) 27 00:01:20,657 --> 00:01:22,646 - Where'd you get these? - Craigslist. 28 00:01:22,679 --> 00:01:25,182 Boy, that's got to be some long list. 29 00:01:25,216 --> 00:01:27,886 WOMAN: and pool tables and jukeboxes... 30 00:01:27,919 --> 00:01:29,887 Craig, are you getting all this down? 31 00:01:29,920 --> 00:01:31,389 Yes. Is that it? 32 00:01:31,422 --> 00:01:35,426 No! Futons, everyone's grandfather's golf clubs... 33 00:01:35,460 --> 00:01:36,560 I-Is that it? 34 00:01:36,594 --> 00:01:38,262 No! Gay sex... 35 00:01:38,295 --> 00:01:40,464 - What kind? - All of it! 36 00:01:44,604 --> 00:01:46,740 I have milked all the goats. 37 00:01:46,742 --> 00:01:48,745 Peter, all those goats are males. 38 00:01:48,747 --> 00:01:51,350 Well, the buckets are full and the goats are happy. 39 00:01:51,382 --> 00:01:53,584 I just hope word doesn't get around. 40 00:01:54,818 --> 00:01:56,855 I like good times. 41 00:02:00,525 --> 00:02:02,494 ANNOUNCER: We now return to Top Gun 42 00:02:02,526 --> 00:02:04,495 with only public domain music. 43 00:02:04,529 --> 00:02:06,365 (BAND PLAYS LIVELY INTRO) 44 00:02:06,398 --> 00:02:10,535 ♪ She'll be coming 'round the mountain when she comes ♪ 45 00:02:10,567 --> 00:02:13,170 ♪ She'll be coming 'round the mountain... ♪ 46 00:02:13,203 --> 00:02:16,674 Oh, my God, what the hell did the goats do in here? 47 00:02:16,708 --> 00:02:18,175 This place is disgusting! 48 00:02:18,209 --> 00:02:19,544 Where's your father? 49 00:02:19,577 --> 00:02:20,713 Peter! 50 00:02:28,252 --> 00:02:30,321 PETER (BLEATS): Lois is maaaad. 51 00:02:30,354 --> 00:02:32,490 Go to the Claaaam. 52 00:02:32,524 --> 00:02:35,894 Peter, I both saw you and recognized my husband's voice. 53 00:02:35,926 --> 00:02:37,763 Go baaaack. 54 00:02:39,564 --> 00:02:41,365 Lois! I-I didn't know you were home. 55 00:02:41,399 --> 00:02:45,003 Well, I guess we can all agree this was a great idea. The end. 56 00:02:45,036 --> 00:02:47,072 ♪ Ba-na-na-na Family Guy... ♪ 57 00:02:47,104 --> 00:02:49,340 Enough! My parents will be here any minute. 58 00:02:49,374 --> 00:02:51,342 You better get this house cleaned up. 59 00:02:51,376 --> 00:02:53,512 Don't worry, Lois. I have a Roomba. 60 00:02:53,544 --> 00:02:55,547 (WHIRRING) 61 00:02:56,981 --> 00:02:58,583 Okay, wait, wait, wait a minute. 62 00:02:58,615 --> 00:03:00,584 It'll... it'll figure it out. 63 00:03:00,618 --> 00:03:03,221 It's learning. That's-that's part of what it does. 64 00:03:03,253 --> 00:03:05,122 I think it's getting it. 65 00:03:05,156 --> 00:03:07,057 Now she's cookin'. 66 00:03:07,090 --> 00:03:09,293 Hang on to your hat. 67 00:03:09,327 --> 00:03:11,797 Clean floor dead ahead. 68 00:03:11,829 --> 00:03:13,697 Good purchase. 69 00:03:13,731 --> 00:03:15,699 Behold the future. 70 00:03:15,733 --> 00:03:17,269 All right, here it goes. 71 00:03:17,301 --> 00:03:18,470 (WHIRRING STOPS) 72 00:03:18,502 --> 00:03:19,870 And the battery's dead. 73 00:03:19,904 --> 00:03:21,573 (DOORBELL RINGS) 74 00:03:22,607 --> 00:03:24,776 Darling, so wonderful to be here. 75 00:03:24,809 --> 00:03:27,112 (CHUCKLES): Yeah, right. The drive here is like 76 00:03:27,144 --> 00:03:29,780 a counterclockwise trip around the Monopoly board. 77 00:03:29,814 --> 00:03:32,316 PETER (CHUCKLES): He has no paaaants. 78 00:03:32,350 --> 00:03:34,186 Peter, get out of there. 79 00:03:35,953 --> 00:03:37,788 Lois, what's going on here? 80 00:03:37,822 --> 00:03:40,125 Well, I asked Peter to mow the lawn. 81 00:03:40,157 --> 00:03:42,281 Will somebody turn off Top Gun?! 82 00:03:42,314 --> 00:03:43,343 (SONG STOPS) 83 00:03:43,345 --> 00:03:44,896 So obviously he bought a herd of goats, 84 00:03:44,929 --> 00:03:46,965 and now they've taken over the house. 85 00:03:46,997 --> 00:03:49,567 Lois, I worry this is not a healthy environment 86 00:03:49,601 --> 00:03:51,470 - for the children. - Mom, please. 87 00:03:51,502 --> 00:03:54,138 You know I would never put my children in harm's way. 88 00:03:54,172 --> 00:03:55,639 Oh, boy. AMBER Alert. 89 00:03:55,673 --> 00:03:58,509 Stewie was last seen with a goat in a '98 Toyota Tercel 90 00:03:58,543 --> 00:03:59,911 heading north on I-95. 91 00:03:59,943 --> 00:04:01,847 How do you turn those off, by the way? 92 00:04:01,879 --> 00:04:03,481 Lois, I've seen enough. 93 00:04:03,515 --> 00:04:06,918 You're completely overwhelmed, and you have four children. 94 00:04:06,951 --> 00:04:09,153 (CHUCKLES) Four children. 95 00:04:09,186 --> 00:04:11,355 (CHUCKLES) Four children. 96 00:04:11,388 --> 00:04:13,455 (CHUCKLES) Four children. 97 00:04:13,488 --> 00:04:15,776 (CHUCKLES) Four children. 98 00:04:15,809 --> 00:04:17,862 (CHUCKLES) Four children. 99 00:04:17,895 --> 00:04:19,263 Hey! 100 00:04:19,297 --> 00:04:20,664 You need help, Lois. 101 00:04:20,698 --> 00:04:22,667 And since I don't believe in psychiatry, 102 00:04:22,700 --> 00:04:24,683 I'm getting you a nanny. 103 00:04:24,717 --> 00:04:26,371 Well, I guess it would be good to have some help 104 00:04:26,403 --> 00:04:27,463 with Meg and Chris. 105 00:04:27,497 --> 00:04:29,541 And Stewie, if he's ever found. 106 00:04:32,176 --> 00:04:34,446 Honey, do you think that's the goat and baby 107 00:04:34,479 --> 00:04:36,948 - from the AMBER alert? - Uh, it's a Tercel, 108 00:04:36,980 --> 00:04:39,584 but I don't think it's the right year. 109 00:04:45,323 --> 00:04:46,725 (DOORBELL RINGS) 110 00:04:46,758 --> 00:04:48,493 That must be the new nanny. 111 00:04:48,525 --> 00:04:50,494 Is this the Griffin house? 112 00:04:50,527 --> 00:04:52,898 Welcome to this work environment. 113 00:04:52,931 --> 00:04:55,300 Oh. I'm not the nanny. I'm her Uber driver. 114 00:04:55,333 --> 00:04:56,868 Your nanny's still in the car. 115 00:04:56,900 --> 00:04:58,669 She dozed off on the way here. 116 00:04:58,703 --> 00:05:00,672 I not doze off, Yoober. 117 00:05:00,705 --> 00:05:03,918 Was looking at crinkled photos of dead relatives. 118 00:05:03,950 --> 00:05:05,509 Hello. I am Natalia. 119 00:05:05,542 --> 00:05:07,745 What is favorite breakfast fish? 120 00:05:07,778 --> 00:05:09,880 Well, if you must know... 121 00:05:09,914 --> 00:05:13,252 Welcome to this work environment. 122 00:05:19,792 --> 00:05:21,427 Okay, Natalia, level with me. 123 00:05:21,460 --> 00:05:22,795 Why are you really here? 124 00:05:22,828 --> 00:05:25,865 I have been sent to neutralize liberal Jewish dissident, 125 00:05:25,898 --> 00:05:27,768 Fievel Mousekewitz. 126 00:05:29,802 --> 00:05:31,939 Oh. Well, the only mouse in this neighborhood is 127 00:05:31,972 --> 00:05:33,974 our innocent neighbor, Frank Maxwell. 128 00:05:35,307 --> 00:05:37,139 Comrade Mousekewitz! 129 00:05:37,172 --> 00:05:39,312 Did you think you could run forever? 130 00:05:39,345 --> 00:05:42,148 I, uh, I think you've got the wrong mouse. 131 00:05:42,182 --> 00:05:44,617 I'm just regular old Frank Maxwell, 132 00:05:44,650 --> 00:05:46,787 and I'm very late for work. 133 00:05:46,819 --> 00:05:48,321 Good day, ma'am. 134 00:05:49,321 --> 00:05:50,490 (STARTS ENGINE) 135 00:05:50,523 --> 00:05:52,492 Whoa! You killed him? 136 00:05:52,525 --> 00:05:53,893 That was not me. 137 00:05:53,927 --> 00:05:55,796 Someone else got to him first. 138 00:05:56,795 --> 00:05:58,975 Tough break, Jew mouse. Ha-ha! 139 00:05:59,695 --> 00:06:00,967 Hi. I'm Peter Griffin. 140 00:06:01,001 --> 00:06:03,804 Under parody law, in order to use someone else's character 141 00:06:03,836 --> 00:06:06,105 in an unlicensed fashion, we have to provide 142 00:06:06,138 --> 00:06:07,674 something called "commentary." 143 00:06:07,706 --> 00:06:10,743 The commentary here is that Mickey Mouse hates Jews. 144 00:06:10,776 --> 00:06:14,614 Now, let's see what else this new nanny has up her sleeve. 145 00:06:18,552 --> 00:06:21,955 Okay, Stewie, this is favorite Belarusian children book 146 00:06:21,987 --> 00:06:25,291 called Goodnight Moon of Chernobyl. 147 00:06:25,324 --> 00:06:27,360 "Goodnight Chernobyl moon. 148 00:06:27,393 --> 00:06:30,017 Goodnight radiation house. 149 00:06:30,049 --> 00:06:32,165 Goodnight melted phone. 150 00:06:32,198 --> 00:06:34,434 Goodnight glowing milk. 151 00:06:34,467 --> 00:06:37,371 Goodnight bleeding grandpa's eyes. 152 00:06:37,403 --> 00:06:39,839 Goodnight two-headed cat. 153 00:06:39,872 --> 00:06:42,009 Goodnight nobody. 154 00:06:42,042 --> 00:06:45,946 Goodnight blocks and blocks and blocks of nobody. 155 00:06:45,978 --> 00:06:47,780 The end." 156 00:06:47,814 --> 00:06:49,383 Next book. 157 00:06:49,415 --> 00:06:51,184 Everybody Poops... 158 00:06:51,218 --> 00:06:52,987 Blood. 159 00:06:56,665 --> 00:06:58,802 I'll get started on dinner. 160 00:07:00,969 --> 00:07:02,438 No need to start dinner. 161 00:07:02,471 --> 00:07:04,773 Homework is done. Kids are fed. 162 00:07:04,806 --> 00:07:07,299 You two should go out and have lovely evening. 163 00:07:07,359 --> 00:07:10,496 - Together? - Yes. Everything taken care of. 164 00:07:10,528 --> 00:07:13,126 Go out. Enjoy American freedom. 165 00:07:13,159 --> 00:07:14,439 What do you say, Peter? 166 00:07:14,472 --> 00:07:16,668 Eh, it could be fun. And we haven't been on a date 167 00:07:16,701 --> 00:07:18,036 since I broke the Guinness record 168 00:07:18,069 --> 00:07:20,780 for longest nasal exhale at that Tina Fey movie. 169 00:07:20,814 --> 00:07:23,843 FEY: You're the baby mama? Well, that's no bueno. 170 00:07:23,876 --> 00:07:25,878 (INHALES THROUGH NOSE) 171 00:07:25,910 --> 00:07:28,915 (EXHALING THROUGH NOSE) 172 00:07:31,010 --> 00:07:33,947 (CONTINUES EXHALING THROUGH NOSE) 173 00:07:38,891 --> 00:07:39,992 Hello. I'm Steve. 174 00:07:40,025 --> 00:07:41,527 I'll be your server this evening. 175 00:07:41,559 --> 00:07:43,199 May I start you off with a cocktail? 176 00:07:45,230 --> 00:07:46,364 (CLEARS THROAT) 177 00:07:46,398 --> 00:07:47,799 You don't work here, do you? 178 00:07:47,833 --> 00:07:49,053 I do not. 179 00:07:49,734 --> 00:07:51,369 Oh, this is nice. 180 00:07:51,403 --> 00:07:53,039 So, how's work? 181 00:07:53,071 --> 00:07:54,540 Good. 182 00:07:56,242 --> 00:07:57,710 How, uh... 183 00:07:57,742 --> 00:07:59,978 how's the stuff you do during your day? 184 00:08:00,011 --> 00:08:01,680 - Good. - Good. 185 00:08:02,915 --> 00:08:04,549 So... is that it? 186 00:08:04,583 --> 00:08:07,220 Did we do a date? Phones back on? 187 00:08:07,253 --> 00:08:09,522 Peter, we finally have a chance to reconnect. 188 00:08:09,554 --> 00:08:11,090 We've been given this opportunity. 189 00:08:11,122 --> 00:08:12,691 It's like before we had kids. 190 00:08:12,725 --> 00:08:14,594 We got to make the most of it. 191 00:08:14,627 --> 00:08:15,928 H-Hang on, hang on, Lois. 192 00:08:15,960 --> 00:08:18,331 Give me two of those round balls of butter and a breadstick. 193 00:08:18,364 --> 00:08:19,764 You'll see where I'm heading with this. 194 00:08:19,797 --> 00:08:22,902 Okay, look, look, look. Here's what you want. 195 00:08:22,935 --> 00:08:24,904 - Here's what you got. - (CHUCKLES) 196 00:08:24,936 --> 00:08:27,072 I'm very happy with what I got. 197 00:08:27,105 --> 00:08:30,967 Hmm. Well, maybe I can give you half a breadstick later. 198 00:08:31,000 --> 00:08:34,180 As long as you don't mind a little marinara dipping sauce. 199 00:08:34,212 --> 00:08:36,441 That's absolutely disgusting. 200 00:08:36,474 --> 00:08:37,749 And I love it. 201 00:08:37,782 --> 00:08:40,253 You know what? I like date night. 202 00:08:40,286 --> 00:08:42,422 To Natalia, for making it possible. 203 00:08:43,555 --> 00:08:45,558 Pretty sure that's Steve's pee. 204 00:08:45,590 --> 00:08:47,216 Enjoying your wine? 205 00:08:52,831 --> 00:08:55,103 Oh, what an amazing night. 206 00:08:55,135 --> 00:08:58,103 I told you we could have a fun time, just the two of us. 207 00:08:58,137 --> 00:09:00,106 Fun's not over yet. 208 00:09:00,138 --> 00:09:01,787 (MOANING) 209 00:09:01,821 --> 00:09:03,308 PETER: Come on, let's get in the trunk. 210 00:09:03,341 --> 00:09:06,278 I filled it with water so we can do it hippo-style. 211 00:09:06,311 --> 00:09:07,613 Weightlessly, 212 00:09:07,646 --> 00:09:10,282 with my feet lightly scraping the bottom as we do it. 213 00:09:10,316 --> 00:09:12,585 LOIS: Okay. It's kind of sexy, I guess. 214 00:09:12,618 --> 00:09:14,453 PETER: And in the hippo tradition, 215 00:09:14,485 --> 00:09:16,788 first we must eat a whole head of lettuce. 216 00:09:16,821 --> 00:09:20,659 - Now, do you have the lettuce? - I-I didn't know we were doing this. 217 00:09:20,692 --> 00:09:22,294 Did you bring the lettuce? 218 00:09:22,327 --> 00:09:23,629 Oh, no, I forgot. 219 00:09:23,662 --> 00:09:25,797 Ronald, I asked you to do one thing. 220 00:09:25,831 --> 00:09:28,334 Honey, honey... I brought the lettuce. 221 00:09:33,538 --> 00:09:34,939 So thanks to Natalia, 222 00:09:34,973 --> 00:09:37,143 we've been spending so much more time together. 223 00:09:37,176 --> 00:09:39,612 Let me tell you, Joe, it's really been a rediscovery. 224 00:09:39,644 --> 00:09:41,687 - Hmm. - Joe, "we time" 225 00:09:41,721 --> 00:09:44,557 - is just as important as "me time." - Okay. 226 00:09:44,651 --> 00:09:46,918 We've actually been watching The Middle together. 227 00:09:46,951 --> 00:09:49,964 It's so funny! Isn't it funny, Peter? 228 00:09:49,997 --> 00:09:51,990 It is actually funny. At least three times an episode 229 00:09:52,023 --> 00:09:53,993 we turn to each other and we say, 230 00:09:54,026 --> 00:09:55,695 BOTH: "That's just like us!" 231 00:09:55,728 --> 00:09:57,162 - (LAUGHING) - (LAUGHS) 232 00:09:57,196 --> 00:09:58,531 Why are you laughing? 233 00:09:58,563 --> 00:10:01,032 - It sounded funny. - But you had to be there. 234 00:10:01,066 --> 00:10:03,369 Well, I was able to imagine myself there, 235 00:10:03,402 --> 00:10:05,104 which is why I chuckled. 236 00:10:05,137 --> 00:10:07,440 Oh, and, Donna, have you seen this Black-ish? 237 00:10:07,473 --> 00:10:09,508 - Why are you asking me that? - I don't know. 238 00:10:09,541 --> 00:10:11,609 It seems like you might like it. 239 00:10:11,643 --> 00:10:14,887 Oh, and, waiter, have you seen this Fresh Off the Boat? 240 00:10:14,920 --> 00:10:16,816 - Why are you asking me that? - I don't know. 241 00:10:16,849 --> 00:10:18,517 It seems like you might like it. 242 00:10:18,550 --> 00:10:19,719 Oh, there's Mort. Mort! 243 00:10:19,752 --> 00:10:22,188 Have you seen this The Goldbergs? 244 00:10:22,220 --> 00:10:24,609 MORT: Yes! I like it 'cause I'm Jewish. 245 00:10:27,759 --> 00:10:30,781 Boy, our friends all seem to be happily married. 246 00:10:31,730 --> 00:10:33,666 - (BOTH LAUGH) - Yeah, right. 247 00:10:33,699 --> 00:10:35,334 You know, Donna told me in the bathroom 248 00:10:35,366 --> 00:10:37,035 she and Cleveland haven't had sex 249 00:10:37,068 --> 00:10:38,203 in over three months. 250 00:10:38,236 --> 00:10:39,404 I love that you share things 251 00:10:39,437 --> 00:10:41,139 that were told to you in confidence. 252 00:10:41,172 --> 00:10:43,642 - Oh, and the poor Swansons. - I know. 253 00:10:43,675 --> 00:10:45,144 Joe's dead from the waist down, 254 00:10:45,177 --> 00:10:46,711 and Bonnie's dead from the waist up. 255 00:10:46,744 --> 00:10:48,080 They're perfect for each other. 256 00:10:48,113 --> 00:10:50,583 - (BOTH LAUGHING) - I know, I know. 257 00:10:50,615 --> 00:10:52,550 I got to say, Peter, I really feel like 258 00:10:52,584 --> 00:10:54,387 Natalia has helped put the spark back 259 00:10:54,420 --> 00:10:55,855 in our relationship. 260 00:10:55,888 --> 00:10:58,263 Yeah, we even had independent movie sex. 261 00:10:59,160 --> 00:11:02,327 I want to lean over this half-eaten blueberry pie 262 00:11:02,360 --> 00:11:04,562 and kiss you with black coffee breath. 263 00:11:04,595 --> 00:11:06,250 - Is that okay? - Yes. 264 00:11:09,768 --> 00:11:12,171 Now, can I do you to a song you know, 265 00:11:12,204 --> 00:11:13,606 but sung in German? 266 00:11:15,490 --> 00:11:18,303 ♪ Icht valking un sonshine ♪ 267 00:11:18,313 --> 00:11:19,844 ♪ Haaa-aah ♪ 268 00:11:19,878 --> 00:11:22,581 ♪ Icht valking un sonshine ♪ 269 00:11:22,614 --> 00:11:24,203 ♪ Haaa-aah ♪ 270 00:11:24,235 --> 00:11:25,750 ♪ Unt it feelin das good. ♪ 271 00:11:25,783 --> 00:11:27,919 (PHONE RINGING) 272 00:11:27,952 --> 00:11:31,389 Hello? I see. 273 00:11:31,422 --> 00:11:32,672 What is it? 274 00:11:32,705 --> 00:11:34,486 I've been assassinated. 275 00:11:43,969 --> 00:11:45,905 Wow, what a night. 276 00:11:45,937 --> 00:11:49,207 I guess someone's sleep number is 69. 277 00:11:49,240 --> 00:11:52,610 Uh, yes. It was, apparently, also number two. 278 00:11:52,643 --> 00:11:55,062 Would you maybe make some coffee and give me a moment? 279 00:11:55,980 --> 00:11:58,216 Car is packed for weekend. 280 00:11:58,249 --> 00:11:59,552 - Weekend? - Yes. 281 00:11:59,585 --> 00:12:01,220 You come in late last night drunk 282 00:12:01,253 --> 00:12:03,756 and tell me to pack car for weekend getaway 283 00:12:03,788 --> 00:12:05,057 you book online. 284 00:12:05,090 --> 00:12:08,060 Then you make me watch Diff'rent Strokes episode 285 00:12:08,092 --> 00:12:11,732 with substitute teacher played by Kareem Abdul-Jabbar. 286 00:12:12,464 --> 00:12:14,333 You know, I forgot about this weekend trip. 287 00:12:14,365 --> 00:12:16,302 I-Is that something we still want to do? 288 00:12:16,335 --> 00:12:17,836 Well, I do if you do. 289 00:12:17,869 --> 00:12:20,071 Absolutely I do... I-I was just seeing if you do. 290 00:12:20,105 --> 00:12:21,673 Of course I do. 291 00:12:21,706 --> 00:12:24,275 I mean, we've already had six nights out together. 292 00:12:24,308 --> 00:12:26,273 It'd be great to have three more. 293 00:12:26,306 --> 00:12:27,312 That's what I'm saying. 294 00:12:27,345 --> 00:12:28,847 That-That's what any guy wants, 295 00:12:28,880 --> 00:12:31,616 the same gal again and again and again 296 00:12:31,649 --> 00:12:33,985 and again and again and again and again 297 00:12:34,018 --> 00:12:36,489 and again and again and again and again 298 00:12:36,522 --> 00:12:38,424 and again and again, and again. 299 00:12:38,456 --> 00:12:40,792 And every gal wants the same guy who keeps 300 00:12:40,826 --> 00:12:43,461 getting fatter and fatter and fatter and fatter... 301 00:12:43,494 --> 00:12:45,297 Stop it right there, Lois. This is Family Guy. 302 00:12:45,330 --> 00:12:47,365 We only do the male side of the joke. 303 00:12:48,341 --> 00:12:51,103 You know what? I think this weekend will be fun. 304 00:12:51,135 --> 00:12:52,470 Yeah. I mean, it's not like we're gonna 305 00:12:52,504 --> 00:12:54,005 miss anything around here. 306 00:12:58,409 --> 00:12:59,944 Hey, Joe, what the hell's going on here? 307 00:12:59,978 --> 00:13:02,147 Oh, you didn't hear? Today is the opening 308 00:13:02,180 --> 00:13:05,316 of the first-ever Spooner Street Farmers Market. 309 00:13:05,350 --> 00:13:07,986 (IN SLOW MOTION): Farmers... 310 00:13:08,019 --> 00:13:10,688 market? 311 00:13:10,721 --> 00:13:12,357 Yeah, it's really exciting. 312 00:13:12,390 --> 00:13:14,492 For 50 cents, you can get your picture taken 313 00:13:14,526 --> 00:13:16,195 wearing a farmer's hat. 314 00:13:16,228 --> 00:13:19,198 (IN SLOW MOTION): Farmer's... 315 00:13:19,230 --> 00:13:21,566 hat? 316 00:13:21,600 --> 00:13:23,536 Hey, have a great weekend, you two. 317 00:13:23,568 --> 00:13:26,905 So glad you're finding time for each other. 318 00:13:30,609 --> 00:13:31,877 Goat meat. 319 00:13:31,909 --> 00:13:33,545 Get your goat meat here. 320 00:13:33,579 --> 00:13:35,047 - Cleveland, are those... - Yep. 321 00:13:35,080 --> 00:13:36,882 I have dibs on whatever silliness 322 00:13:36,914 --> 00:13:38,583 Peter loses interest in. 323 00:13:38,616 --> 00:13:39,751 Remember this? 324 00:13:39,784 --> 00:13:41,920 To the Cleveland copter! 325 00:13:43,888 --> 00:13:45,990 The moustache obscures my view! 326 00:13:46,023 --> 00:13:47,092 (CRIES OUT) 327 00:13:54,881 --> 00:13:56,283 LOIS: Oh, another hawk. 328 00:13:56,317 --> 00:13:57,652 Or maybe it's the same one. 329 00:13:57,685 --> 00:13:59,153 You think it could be the same one? 330 00:13:59,186 --> 00:14:00,241 Doubt it. 331 00:14:01,054 --> 00:14:02,322 Hey, do you have the address? 332 00:14:02,355 --> 00:14:04,158 I think it's in my pocketbook somewhere. 333 00:14:04,191 --> 00:14:06,694 'Cause I got to know if we should take 24 or 495. 334 00:14:06,726 --> 00:14:08,072 Hang on. 335 00:14:09,196 --> 00:14:11,225 - Anything? - Hang on. 336 00:14:12,268 --> 00:14:13,602 Exit's coming up. 337 00:14:14,735 --> 00:14:16,163 Half a mile. 338 00:14:18,839 --> 00:14:20,208 - Quarter mile. - (LAUGHS) 339 00:14:20,240 --> 00:14:21,509 You'd think I could find it. 340 00:14:21,542 --> 00:14:22,877 (CHUCKLES): Yeah, yeah, I would. 341 00:14:22,909 --> 00:14:25,645 I would. Okay, I'm taking 495. 342 00:14:25,678 --> 00:14:27,781 Okay, uh, here, let me see if it's... 343 00:14:27,815 --> 00:14:30,852 Oh, this is why I don't like big purses. 344 00:14:30,884 --> 00:14:34,321 Here it is. It says take 24 to 128. 345 00:14:34,355 --> 00:14:36,157 (INHALES DEEPLY) 346 00:14:36,190 --> 00:14:38,193 (EXHALES SLOWLY) 347 00:14:46,067 --> 00:14:47,936 (WINDSHIELD SQUEAKING) 348 00:14:49,669 --> 00:14:51,672 (CRICKETS CHIRPING) 349 00:14:54,908 --> 00:14:56,244 Hey, look, cookies. 350 00:14:56,277 --> 00:14:58,046 - Chocolate chip? - Oatmeal raisin. 351 00:14:58,078 --> 00:14:59,679 (BLEEP) 352 00:14:59,712 --> 00:15:03,083 Ah, I guess they stopped serving dinner at 9:30. 353 00:15:03,116 --> 00:15:05,685 Looks like that missed exit had the last laugh. 354 00:15:05,719 --> 00:15:06,988 Oh, look at this cute note. 355 00:15:07,020 --> 00:15:08,221 "In lieu of television, 356 00:15:08,254 --> 00:15:10,323 please tune in to each other." 357 00:15:10,356 --> 00:15:13,593 - Ha-ha. - Ha-ha, indeed. And get this. 358 00:15:13,626 --> 00:15:15,729 "Sorry no Wi-Fi, but the good news is 359 00:15:15,763 --> 00:15:17,532 your marriage has four bars." 360 00:15:17,565 --> 00:15:19,933 - Terrific. - Oh, here's another note. 361 00:15:19,966 --> 00:15:22,102 "How adorable were those first two notes? 362 00:15:22,135 --> 00:15:23,837 I hope you read this one third." 363 00:15:23,870 --> 00:15:26,073 There's a used condom in the fireplace. 364 00:15:26,106 --> 00:15:27,541 And the fireplace is decorative, 365 00:15:27,575 --> 00:15:28,743 so that's here to stay. 366 00:15:28,775 --> 00:15:30,243 So, do you think word just got out 367 00:15:30,277 --> 00:15:31,846 in the daddy longlegs community, like, 368 00:15:31,879 --> 00:15:33,247 "Hey, come to this hotel"? 369 00:15:33,279 --> 00:15:34,714 Peter, it's a little warm in here. 370 00:15:34,748 --> 00:15:37,051 Do you want to turn on that overhead ceiling fan? 371 00:15:37,084 --> 00:15:38,219 Sure. Looks stable. 372 00:15:41,288 --> 00:15:43,091 - Can you notice that? - Yeah. 373 00:15:43,124 --> 00:15:45,293 Can you notice anything in the world other than that? 374 00:15:45,326 --> 00:15:48,562 Only that fist-sized moth in the lampshade by the bed. 375 00:15:48,596 --> 00:15:51,633 I'm going to bed so that "go home time" comes faster. 376 00:16:02,694 --> 00:16:04,765 I'll just sleep with the light on. 377 00:16:10,116 --> 00:16:12,620 Natalia, will you be our nanny forever? 378 00:16:12,653 --> 00:16:14,821 Dah, unless Belarus security force 379 00:16:14,855 --> 00:16:16,957 - track me down. - I'm sorry, what? 380 00:16:16,990 --> 00:16:18,793 Natalia make a few enemies 381 00:16:18,826 --> 00:16:21,096 before she leave Belarus. 382 00:16:23,831 --> 00:16:26,668 (GUNSHOTS) 383 00:16:28,769 --> 00:16:31,505 Natalia save baby. 384 00:16:35,709 --> 00:16:37,979 - Brian? - Lock door. 385 00:16:38,012 --> 00:16:39,013 Why would I... (CRIES OUT) 386 00:16:39,046 --> 00:16:40,348 Brian! 387 00:16:43,850 --> 00:16:45,353 No kissing. Under bed. 388 00:16:54,127 --> 00:16:55,127 - (BONE CRACKS) - (CRIES OUT) 389 00:16:55,128 --> 00:16:58,365 - (BONES SNAPPING) - Aah! 390 00:16:58,399 --> 00:17:00,802 ♪ ♪ 391 00:17:02,670 --> 00:17:04,172 Out. 392 00:17:06,906 --> 00:17:08,175 Boy, that was a close one. 393 00:17:08,209 --> 00:17:10,211 Ah, my son was in the backseat. 394 00:17:23,022 --> 00:17:24,759 (TIRES SCREECHING) 395 00:17:40,941 --> 00:17:42,410 (ENGINE REVVING) 396 00:17:45,778 --> 00:17:48,782 (HEARTBEAT POUNDING) 397 00:17:56,222 --> 00:17:57,591 (TIRES SCREECH) 398 00:17:58,625 --> 00:17:59,927 Daddy? 399 00:18:03,896 --> 00:18:05,098 (GUNFIRE) 400 00:18:09,236 --> 00:18:10,403 Where are we going? 401 00:18:10,436 --> 00:18:11,838 You're going home. 402 00:18:11,872 --> 00:18:13,742 Count to three and pull cord. 403 00:18:13,956 --> 00:18:15,910 (SHOUTING) 404 00:18:15,942 --> 00:18:19,047 I don't know my numbers! 405 00:18:26,333 --> 00:18:28,040 Again! Again! 406 00:18:33,626 --> 00:18:36,596 (SALIVA SMACKING) 407 00:18:36,630 --> 00:18:38,532 - Oh. This. - What? 408 00:18:38,565 --> 00:18:40,067 That mealy-mouth thing you do. 409 00:18:40,099 --> 00:18:41,201 Take a sip of water. 410 00:18:41,234 --> 00:18:42,869 I don't like water. I like pop. 411 00:18:42,903 --> 00:18:44,471 Hey, will you let me know when you're done 412 00:18:44,505 --> 00:18:46,107 using the phone charger that I brought? 413 00:18:46,140 --> 00:18:47,775 Oh, you mean the only thing that you packed? 414 00:18:47,807 --> 00:18:49,442 Yeah, I just assumed if you pay, 415 00:18:49,476 --> 00:18:51,112 - you don't have to pack. - Here we go. 416 00:18:51,144 --> 00:18:52,445 My husband, the Rockefeller, 417 00:18:52,479 --> 00:18:54,448 letting my parents pay for the nanny. 418 00:18:54,480 --> 00:18:55,950 Kids still lining up around the block 419 00:18:55,982 --> 00:18:57,250 for those piano lessons? 420 00:18:57,284 --> 00:18:58,786 I wonder which has more clutter on it, 421 00:18:58,818 --> 00:19:00,086 the piano or your treadmill. 422 00:19:00,119 --> 00:19:01,488 You know what? I'm gonna go with the treadmill. 423 00:19:01,521 --> 00:19:04,090 Really? Let's go knock on the door of the next room 424 00:19:04,124 --> 00:19:05,925 and ask them which one of us is fat. 425 00:19:05,959 --> 00:19:08,262 Oh, I'm so sorry I'm not Bradley Hooper. 426 00:19:08,295 --> 00:19:09,563 It's Cooper, not Hooper. 427 00:19:09,596 --> 00:19:11,731 You're thinking of Mr. Hooper from Sesame Street, 428 00:19:11,765 --> 00:19:13,067 and I'd sooner bang him. 429 00:19:13,099 --> 00:19:15,502 He was a business owner. He was a successful man. 430 00:19:15,536 --> 00:19:17,404 You think you're the only one in this relationship 431 00:19:17,438 --> 00:19:19,006 who wants to be with a successful man? 432 00:19:19,038 --> 00:19:20,049 Get over yourself. 433 00:19:20,050 --> 00:19:21,509 Oh, hey, do you want these spit droplets back, 434 00:19:21,541 --> 00:19:22,809 Or are they for my arm to keep? 435 00:19:22,843 --> 00:19:25,112 Sorry, I was trying to scare that fly on your hand. 436 00:19:25,144 --> 00:19:26,513 Oh, it's a liver spot. Never mind. 437 00:19:26,547 --> 00:19:29,032 I'm hoping it's cancer. I want the ticket out. 438 00:19:29,065 --> 00:19:31,018 Oh, if you die, can I have all of your nothing? 439 00:19:31,050 --> 00:19:32,485 What do you mean if I die? 440 00:19:32,519 --> 00:19:34,855 I've been dead since the minute I said "I do"! 441 00:19:34,887 --> 00:19:36,323 Well, the minute you say "I don't," 442 00:19:36,356 --> 00:19:37,590 I am out that door. 443 00:19:37,624 --> 00:19:40,193 - Oh, is that right? - Yep. 444 00:19:40,227 --> 00:19:42,496 Well, what if I just said, "The hell with it, go"? 445 00:19:42,528 --> 00:19:43,680 What if you did? 446 00:19:45,201 --> 00:19:46,333 Go. 447 00:19:46,708 --> 00:19:48,061 Fine! 448 00:19:48,201 --> 00:19:50,171 ("SO FAR AWAY" BY CAROLE KING PLAYING) 449 00:19:50,203 --> 00:19:53,956 ♪ ♪ 450 00:19:54,141 --> 00:19:57,878 ♪ So far away ♪ 451 00:19:57,911 --> 00:20:00,147 ♪ Doesn't anybody stay ♪ 452 00:20:00,180 --> 00:20:03,518 ♪ In one place anymore? ♪ 453 00:20:04,751 --> 00:20:06,854 ♪ It would be so fine ♪ 454 00:20:06,886 --> 00:20:10,825 ♪ To see your face at my door ♪ 455 00:20:10,857 --> 00:20:13,860 ♪ It doesn't help to know ♪ 456 00:20:13,894 --> 00:20:17,832 ♪ You're just time away ♪ 457 00:20:17,865 --> 00:20:21,501 ♪ Long ago I reached for you ♪ 458 00:20:21,535 --> 00:20:25,038 ♪ And there you stood ♪ 459 00:20:25,072 --> 00:20:28,342 ♪ Holding you again could only ♪ 460 00:20:28,374 --> 00:20:31,679 ♪ Do me good ♪ 461 00:20:31,711 --> 00:20:33,814 ♪ How I wish I could ♪ 462 00:20:33,846 --> 00:20:35,482 ♪ But you're so ♪ 463 00:20:35,516 --> 00:20:38,052 ♪ Far ♪ 464 00:20:38,085 --> 00:20:40,587 ♪ Away. ♪ 465 00:20:42,422 --> 00:20:44,025 So, how was the trip? 466 00:20:45,472 --> 00:20:47,475 (BOTH LAUGHING) 467 00:20:47,989 --> 00:20:52,055 Sync and corrections by btsix www.MY-SUBS.com 468 00:20:52,432 --> 00:20:53,468 PETER: Just terrible. 33495

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