Original subtitles

You

Most the time it's like I don't know it's like there's this thick black cloud covering everything

Like we see the world, but we don't really see the world, you know

We're all just stumbling around directionless no sense of meaning no sense of purpose

I know that might sound super depressing, but honestly, I think it's a good thing

Because it makes us appreciate the other times

This brief transcendent moments when the lights flicker on the black cloud parts and you see the world for what it really is

And suddenly there's meaning suddenly there's purpose

So

Oh shit shit shit shit shit

If you're lucky you'll experience this once in your lifetime

For me so smooth it happened twice

The first was the day I met Josh I'm Josh

I'm Iris and the second the day I killed him

I

I

Sleepy out

A while yeah, you were zonked out there pretty good

That was having the most wonderful dream yeah about me

That is very presumptuous

Yes

Was it sexy times no you do a little bit of sexy no no no I was dreaming about the day we met

It's also perfect

Remember how perfect it all was yeah, no, no, I forgot

supermarket or inches

I

Know it wrote us this is not showing up in GPS. I think this is the road. This might be the driveway

This way

Thank you Josh's car

Thank you car pop the trunk

Fuck me

Can't call this place a little rustic cabin in the woods I think we might have differing opinions on the meaning of the word cabin

Also rustic

What

Iris come on, you know you can't let I mean tell me what's wrong. I'm gonna do something stupid

I'm gonna say something stupid. I'm gonna embarrass you. They're gonna laugh at me. They're gonna hate me

They already hate me. It's Christ Iris

We've been planning this trip for months and this is all just coming out now like like 20 feet from the fucking door

Look hey

My friends don't eat you

Yeah, maybe but cat hates everybody. I just don't want to screw everything up

You poop you're not gonna screw everything up

Just relax

You know don't be all moopy and weird just remember to

Remember to smile and happy

Okay

Yay, you made it fucking finally

Okay, so when you said remote I thought you meant like a couple miles off the highway didn't realize you meant that you're fucking civilization

Okay, hard disagree

Hello Iris hi cat, it's so good to see you so good

Everyone look

You're the kitchen man look at me welcome I would give you a hug, but I've got scallop hands. Sorry

Okay, I appreciate that

Hey buddy

Good I'm

Good this is good. Oh and Josh you remember Sergei

Preview hey Sergei nasta see you again likewise my friend likewise and

This beautiful creation must be Iris. Hello

Such pleasure. I have a lot about this one really all good. I hope

You

Are like house it's really it's incredible. Yeah, yeah, it's so so secluded

I mean the last place we passed was like 10 miles back 17 and I paid for this

But I believe it's not come cheap

Not cheap at all. Tell me on a whole fucking leg. No, no, no, don't be silly just all land around it

But let's get you guys to drink what you like beer cocktail wine. I'm fine more than anything

I just need a shower got you an act what the room they are in up this stairs down the hall last on the left

I'll see you later

Oh

Oh

So I was wearing this ridiculously elaborate Dracula costume and

I didn't know a single person as I said, so I'm standing by the snack table just

munching on carrots and

Something that looked like homeless and it was not it was not a mess. I don't think but I

Feel a tap on my shoulder and so I I turn around and there's this green puffy

Dinosaur just staring me down and

Inside its head. I hear this very very muffled very annoyed voice say

You're standing on my tail

So I I turn around I look down and sure enough I am standing on his little little dyno tail

so I step off and apologize and

He takes his head off and I'm looking at the most beautiful man that I've ever seen in my life

So do you meet this beautiful man after you met Eli? Okay, I'm in a word shut up

Let us go. I was actually hit me. Yeah, I took baseball

When did you know

Know what that

He was the one no

Right then in there. I know it's gonna sound cheesy, but the moment

When we locked eyes something inside of me, it just

Clicked into place. It doesn't sound cheesy at all. I get it

It's like there's

This piece of you that you didn't even know is broken and then

Suddenly it's it's fixed

And you're staring at this stranger this person you've ever met before and

You know

But for the rest of your life

You will do whatever it takes

To make this person happy

Right

That this food is unbelievable. Thank you. Thank you Sergei. That's so nice you. I'm glad you like it

He spoils me. I swear I've gained like 10 pounds as we started dating only 10

So Mr. G what kind of work do you do?

Oh, you know, I have fingers in many pots

My hands are not clean my friend

It's a

Very

dirty

business

Sorry guys seems he seems nice. Oh, yeah

He's got everything you want in a man

He's rich

Intelligent he's got a beautiful wife

Wife he Sergei is married

But you love you love each other

Love no, no, no, no, no, no, you'd have to think of me as a human being first

I don't understand

I'm an accessory like his fucking car

I

Wear what he wants eat what he wants fuck when he wants

But

I'm talking to

Do you not like me cat

You know, it's not that I don't like you Iris

It's the idea of you you make me feel so

Replacable

Replaceable

Nobody could replace you cat you cat and you're so fearless. It's inspiring. I wish I could be more like you but

No, I wasn't built that way I

just

Like there's always something inside of me holding me back

Oh

Oh

Oh

Oh

Oh

I'm so glad we did this being here with you. It's just perfect

I'm sorry if I was being weird or mopey earlier

I'm just wanting to be happy Josh. That's all I was gonna sleep

It's such a gorgeous day out

Work the weather it's currently 72 degrees with an 83% chance of rain

Almost ready

I'm sorry babe. I think I need some time to shower and pound a few gallons of coffee. Why don't I?

Why don't you head down there by yourself?

It was your idea

You said you wanted a nice relaxing morning by the lake now, but that's before the hang of her caught up with me last night was

a lot

You'd find the right

Course I did people

Last name was incredible

You want me to wait we can make the shower for two

No, I don't know that's okay. Um you go on ahead enjoy as much of the gorgeous days you can

Okay

Oh

Oh

Oh

Oh

Nobody wanna

Sorry?

It means good morning.

Oh, yes.

So, but I owe it to you too.

Hey, your Russian is not bad.

It is not good, but also it is not bad.

Mm-hmm.

Nice view.

It's a lovely boy.

Too loud.

Mm-hmm.

You like?

I'm actually going to head back inside.

So soon?

Yeah.

Uh, Josh wasn't feeling great this morning,

so I think I should check in on him.

Josh is a big boy, can take care of himself.

Stay.

Keeps her gay company.

I really think I should see him.

You like Lake House, yes?

Yeah.

You enjoy your time here.

Mm-hmm.

You have very much.

Then as guests, please stay.

Keep this old Russian man company.

Okay.

Wonderful.

Mm-hmm.

You mind?

Just back in shoulders.

It's tough to reach.

Don't want to get too tan.

Okay.

Mm-hmm.

And shoulders, please.

Okay.

What are you doing?

You snobbing.

This cat's idea.

She tells Sergei you are not here.

Gives Sergei permission.

I love my hand, please.

This is what you do.

I love you.

I love you.

I love you.

I love you.

I love you.

I love you.

I love you.

I love you.

I love you.

Please.

This is what you do first.

This is what you are for.

Mm-hmm.

Please, man.

Please stop.

I was drunk.

I mean, you...

Yeah, yeah, you were extremely...

You were drunk too.

Like, more drunk than I am.

I was like a drunk.

Like, it's like this gift.

Like, people get bloated and stuff.

And not me.

Like, never happens.

Never.

Like, just like, I could drink and do whatever I want.

Yeah, I'd drink.

Yeah, and just like, what the fuck?

Oh, shit.

Iris.

Mm-hmm.

What the fuck?

I didn't mean to.

He forced himself on me.

Who did?

Sergei?

Mm-hmm.

Please.

Sergei just wanted to be faced.

Just wanted him to stop.

Oh, God.

Sergei?

No.

I...

Iris.

Iris, look at me.

Look at me.

Talk to me through what happened.

But...

I said stop!

Iris, look at me.

Look at me.

Talk to me through a...

What happened?

But...

I said stop!

I said stop!

I didn't have a choice.

Sergei.

Let's...

Tuka.

He wouldn't let go.

He was choking me, Josh.

Iris, you're the only man I'm gonna do.

And then I'm...

You're the only one I'm gonna do.

And then I'm...

You're the only one, Iris, then you're what?

You're the only one, Iris.

You're the only one.

You're the only one who's trying to kill me.

And the only thing I could think about was that if he did kill me,

I'd never get to see you again.

And I heard so much more than the pain of being choked.

I wouldn't let that happen.

I couldn't let him take me away from you.

I thought he was so much!

Iris, go to sleep.

Yeah, no, it's fine.

She's not super human or anything.

She's only as strong as they want her to be.

The thing thatami can live, that...

When I over- mice or ever have like angry people then

who I'm bought or dealing with,

I have six outspoken friends that shouldn't have lived for me.

Just like trying for to live.

Handcapped, Viktor.

Quite awful Being years old.

Hey, how's she d'un?

She's asleep.

I give her two Xanax.

Xanax is?

Xanai?

Whatever.

She was like, OK, good.

Good.

So what do we do now?

I mean, the only thing we can do is call the cops who

tell them everything.

Right.

Yeah.

But what about?

Well, obviously I'll need to, you know.

I just don't understand how this could have happened.

I mean, look up.

They have like a safe car.

So this is going to show you the same idea.

Glitch, maybe?

Yeah.

OK.

OK.

So I'll call the cops and you will.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Sorry.

Do you mind taking it outside just because I want to say goodbye?

Yeah.

Yeah, buddy.

Sure.

Thanks.

Iris, wake up.

Be lost without you.

Hey, hey, hey.

It's OK.

You're OK.

You're OK.

I'm here.

Hey, hey.

Listen to me.

Come here.

Oh, my hands tight.

Why am I inside?

I didn't have a choice.

We didn't have a choice.

You murdered Sergei.

You remember?

No, no, no, no.

I have a self-defense.

He was going to kill me.

He was going to kill me.

You got to believe me.

No, I believe you.

Iris, I mean, you couldn't lie to me

even if you wanted to.

It's part of your programming.

Programming.

What the hell are you talking about?

OK.

Sorry.

There's just no delicate way to say this.

So I'm just going to rip the bandaid right off.

You're a robot.

A robot.

More specifically, you're a companion robot.

A companion robot?

Yeah.

It's like, I hate the word fuckbot.

Because you do so much more than that.

But you're an emotional support robot.

Bad Fox.

You're joking.

Right.

This is just a sick.

Iris, what's the weather?

It's currently 72 degrees.

The 93% chance of rain in the evening.

Are you still not convinced?

Yeah.

OK.

Let's see.

Iris, do you know any foreign languages?

Can you speak, say, Spanish?

Josh, you know.

No, say, I've got to Spanish.

OK.

I've got to Chinese.

Gishe, gishe, gishe, amo, gishe.

Do I need to keep going?

Because I can go.

I can do Portuguese.

I can do Korean.

I can do, I don't know what Talugu is.

But apparently you speak.

I don't understand.

I have memories.

College summer jobs.

I've been to Japan twice.

So what those are, they're like outlines of memories.

Just enough to give you a little backstory.

The day we met in the grocery store, you and the oranges.

That is not an outline of memory.

Yeah, it's fake.

Never happened.

I just randomly picked it from a drop down list of meat

cutes.

Could have been anywhere.

It could have been dog park, bookstore, farmers market.

It never happened.

OK.

Do you want to know how we met?

Like, how we really met?

Hey, yeah.

Josh Beaman?

Yeah?

OK.

Come on in.

Thank you.

Oh, sorry.

How you doing?

OK, this is the user agreement.

Just give it a read and then sign at the bottom when you're done.

So what do I do when she boots up or whatever?

Well, once she's done syncing with your phone,

you'll need to create a love link.

Love link?

Yeah.

It establishes the emotional connection between you and the little iris.

Just follow the vocal prompts when she wakes up.

It's all pretty intuitive.

Do they know that they're not going to be able to do it?

They know that they're robots?

Not at all.

She'll be so fixated on you.

Your wants, your needs, that'll never even occur to her.

The whole experience is customizable.

You can change your voice, eye color, intelligence.

And if you ever want to revert back to refactory settings,

there is a thumbprint sensor behind the right ear.

Just hold your thumb there for five seconds.

She'll reset.

You can change their intelligence?

Yeah.

But don't worry.

There's about a billion government regulations that force us to limit how strong and smart they can be.

100% intelligence would be the equivalent of an Ivy League grad.

Zero percent would be a mindless automaton.

It really just depends on what kind of partner you want.

She can't lie.

So if you ask her a question, she literally has to tell you the truth.

And for obvious reasons, her programming prevents her from causing harm to humans,

animals, or other companions.

Trust me, Mr. Beaman, you have nothing to worry about.

Iris is completely docile.

She's yours to do.

Whatever you want, Wayne.

I'm looking to my eyes, the color of any heart.

This season means you know, when you're waiting.

I won't end.

To establish Love Link, please place your face within three feet of my field.

To establish Love Link, please place your face within three feet of my field of vision.

Please say your name.

Your name.

Josh Beaman.

Thank you, Josh Beaman.

Love Link established.

Hey, you.

Hi.

Hi.

Hi.

Hi.

So.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

I don't understand.

I feel things.

Anger.

Guilt. Sadness.

I know what pain feels like.

It's programming.

It's just a way to make you seem more real.

Everything you do, your whole life, it's just an imitation of a life.

There we go.

Perfect.

Okay.

This.

It's just water.

You know, it's from a reservoir in your body.

It's like wiper fluid.

I get it topped off every time I take you into get service.

No, you're not.

Iris, it's programmed.

Stop saying that.

Yeah, you're right.

You're right.

I'm sorry.

I know this must be a lot to process.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay, what?

I'm not real.

But I'm still yours.

We can get through this.

We can go back home.

I'll do whatever you want.

I'll cook for you.

I'll cook for you.

Wait on you.

Make love to you.

I can make you happy, Josh.

I can make you so, so, so, so happy.

No.

I'm sorry.

Iris, that can't happen.

What are you doing?

Nothing.

What the fuck are you waiting for?

Shut her down already.

Shut me down.

Fuck.

Jesus Christ.

Shut me down.

You're just telling me.

You're just telling me.

Josh!

I'm just letting Iris go.

No.

Josh!

Josh!

You're going to do that.

You can't do that, Kat.

You can't tell a robot you're going to shut it down.

It's like, not cool.

At all.

Well, okay, I don't like surprises, Josh.

This was not part of the plan.

Okay, I know.

And I'm sorry, but, I mean, considering everything she's done for us, I figure she was at least

owed an explanation.

And, okay, look, I wanted to say goodbye.

Are you kidding?

She's a piece of plastic that you have sex with.

You're saying goodbye to her is like saying goodbye to the sock.

You jerk off it.

Okay, she's not a sock.

The plan hasn't changed yet.

I'm just adding one tiny extra step, just the final farewell.

And then I will switch all of her settings back to normal.

And then, yeah, I'll shut her down permanently.

And then?

Then nothing.

I mean, crack open a bottle of champagne and we wait for the cops to show up.

I mean, the heartburn's over.

Which, by the way, like, holy fucking shit, right?

I mean, you plan and you plan and you plan and you like know it's going to happen, but then

like, it happens and you're like, holy fucking shit!

I mean, we did it!

We did it!

We fucking did it!

Mmm.

Oh, all right, all right, that's good.

Okay, yeah, sorry, right.

Sorry.

I still just can't believe it.

Yeah, I know.

So...

So crazy.

What the fuck is going on with you right now?

Why are you not as excited as I am?

No, I am.

I'm excited.

It's, um...

It's just the...

It's the Xanax you like gave me.

You actually took it.

It's a Xanax, Josh.

I'm not going to not take it.

Hey, baby, look, I'm so sorry about that.

Everything's going to be okay, we're...

What are you doing?

Oh, fuck, the iris is going to stop me!

No!

No!

No!

No!

No!

Maybe I'm so sorry.

He'll need a nice pack, and if there's any swelling, shortness of breath-weezing, agitation, or draginess, take him to the emergency room, okay?

Um...

Okay?

Yeah, she's tied up inside, so she's not going anywhere.

Eli, Eli, I'm here.

Shh, baby, I'm in the phone.

I'm coming here.

What's that? What am I looking at?

A mod?

A mod.

And what does it mod?

Iris, gives me access to parts of her programming that you're not typically given access to.

I'm sorry. Did you jailbreak your sex pod? What did you do to her?

I bumped up her aggression and her self-defense functions, and I turned off the programming that prevents her from doing harm, but she escaped before I had the chance to reset her, so if Empathic finds her before we do, then they'll know she was tampered with, and then we're fucked.

Wait, so does that mean that...

Did you kill Sergey?

No, no, no, Iris killed Sergey.

Oh my god.

We just gave her a little push.

Oh my god.

Eli, Eli, you have to understand Eli, Sergey was a bad dude.

He was mixed up in all kinds of fucked up shit, like drugs, and guns, and like human trafficking.

Not to mention a terrible boyfriend.

Yeah, just the worst.

Why?

I don't know, I mean, it was to say what makes people do bad things. I mean, it could have something to do with his upbringing.

No, Dick, why did you do it?

Oh.

Right, sorry.

Um...

Well...

You remember the code?

Of course.

Stalin's birthday. It's his code for everything.

I see.

How much is that?

Um, just over 12 million.

Oh, god damn it, that smells so fucking good.

Wait.

If this whole trip was a setup to get Iris to kill Sergey,

why did you have Patrick and I tag along?

To corroborate our story.

I mean, we figured it'd be an easier sell with more witnesses.

Oh, so we were just a couple of stooges, huh?

No.

Nice.

Technically, yes, but that was the old plan.

New plan?

You get a cut.

Even three-way split.

You mean four-way split?

No, I mean three-way, but there's four of us.

You're kidding.

He's kidding.

You, me, Cat, Patrick.

You like?

Josh, Patrick doesn't count.

Are you fucking kidding?

Wow, right in front of him?

I'm really nice.

I'm so sorry, baby. I'm sorry I had to hear that.

That's okay. I don't mind.

Patrick, go to sleep.

What the fuck, dude?

You trying to sabotage our relationship?

No, of course not, man. I know how much Patrick means to you.

God knows you could have traded him in for a newer model, like many, many times.

Are you fucking Robo shaming me?

I am not Robo shaming you.

I like Patrick.

But he's not getting a cut.

I mean, you're lucky you're getting anything,

considering you contributed jack shit to the person.

What the fuck did you contribute, huh?

Iris did every day?

I played it in the knife in her pocket.

I had to, like, practice it.

The knife? That was probably the most flimsiest part of the plan, actually, to be honest.

How did you be nice?

I was going to find it.

I don't know. I've never orchestrated a murder before.

It's fucking hard.

Really?

Okay.

Eli?

Yeah.

We're offering you four million dollars.

And all you have to do is help us find one little robot girl in the woods.

That's not a bad deal.

Fine.

But I called to his on the gun.

Eli, we're not going to need that.

I mean, all I have to do is get close enough to put her to sleep and grab my phone

and wipe them out from her system, so we're fine.

She has her phone.

Yeah?

Does she know your passcode?

Josh? Does she know your passcode?

Yeah, I mean, she knows everything about me.

Yeah, we're definitely going to need this.

Patrick, wake up.

Wake up.

Hey, baby.

Hey, we're going robot hunting.

Oh, okay.

Fine, huh?

You're fine.

Josh?

What can't you do with your phone?

Hello?

Hello?

Hello?

Hello?

Hello?

Hello, Josh.

Well, I'll grab this job.

I've been watching this fucking ever.

Isn't there like a find my fuckpot app you can use?

Yeah, there is.

But guess what?

It's on my fucking phone.

Oh, my God.

You guys stop yelling at me.

We know the general direction that she's going.

We just need to...

Why don't we just split up, all right?

That way we can kind of attack her from two different angles, you know?

Like a pincer?

Hit her from a few different...

What are you doing?

I don't know, all right?

Eli and Patrick, you guys go that way?

Kat and I, we're going to go this way.

Okay?

Kat and you will go that way.

Are you guys fucking...

Gross!

Of course not.

Gross.

Okay.

What now?

Iris, think.

Use that extra 60% intelligence.

She had to get back home, grab some...

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

She had to get back home, grab some clothes, money, clean yourself up.

How do you do that?

You could work your way back to the main road, hit your ride.

What the fuck?

Okay.

No hitchhiking.

You could go on foot.

There's hundreds of miles across difficult terrain.

It could take days and by the time you get back...

Welcome home, Beepoo.

And they're walking.

You got Josh's phone.

The phone controls you...

but it also controls...

Good afternoon.

Where would you like to go today?

Home, please.

Driving home.

And might I add, this is a terrific plan, Iris.

Aw.

I think you Josh's car.

All you gotta do is backtrack through the woods.

Gets the lake house without Josh or his friend's murdering you and your home free.

I could really just do something.

I don't know.

It's just a day of gigging and everything.

You really do.

I swear you can pull everything off like any kind of bass.

It's a year of...

Shh.

You hear that?

No, what is it?

It's the sound of me realizing how fucking stupid this is.

You know, people find me?

I don't know.

Actually, I don't care.

It's like Josh and Kat deal with her.

You're so upset they left you out of the plane.

I'm just saying if the situation will reverse and I altered your programming to kill some dudes so we can still millions with them,

I would have included Josh and the plan right from the get-go.

I would have done that because I'm a friend.

That's what friends do, right?

They include each other, right?

That's if you were a robot.

Obviously.

Yeah, obviously.

Anyways.

I am tired.

I am hungry.

And I'm carrying this huge gun.

It's really hard.

So...

How about we go back to the cabin and we fuck?

And then you can make me an omelet.

Come on.

But you never do that to me, right?

Do what?

You wouldn't.

I'll turn my programming.

What are you talking about, babe?

You lie in home a robot.

How...

I've pieced it together over the years.

I don't understand.

You can't lie.

In yesterday you were telling the story about how we met as if it happened.

Because it's not a lie.

I mean, it may have never happened, but...

My memory of it's real.

I close my eyes.

And I can see it.

Clear as day.

I need to find peace.

Hey.

Hey!

It's just standing on my tail.

What?

You're standing on my tail.

I'm sorry.

What?

I'm sorry.

Hi.

Hi.

I'm Eli.

I'm Patrick.

You know I would never hurt you, right?

You know I would treat you the way that Josh retires, right?

I know that.

I love you so much.

And that's fucking unsafe for me to sit that out loud, right?

But I do.

To feel how much I love you.

I do.

What does it feel like?

I don't know how to describe something like that.

Keep trying.

It feels like pain.

I...

Thanks to my body, it's on fire.

And it's angry.

And violent.

And bright.

Fuck you, Dave.

I'm in love with the robot.

You're in love with the robot.

Iris.

Iris?

Eli, shit, babe.

Oh!

Fuck this fucking loud!

Eli.

Do it again, you Pack!

Oh, no!

No!

Oh, no!

No!

No!

No!

No!

No!

Oh!

Oh!

Oh!

No!

Oh!

Oh!

This isn't personal Irish.

You know I'm an ally group with people.

But this...

Oh, fucken!

Anyone?

Avi?

Patrick.

I'm sorry.

Oh, my God.

Hi, Chris!

Go to sleep!

Fuck!

Fire!

Fire!

Fire!

Fire!

Fire!

Fire!

Fire!

Fire!

Fire!

Fire!

Fire!

Enable manual driving mode!

Voice ID, don't cry!

Fire!

Hey, what's going on anyway?

Get out of the car, come on, don't make this thing ahead of any of this.

Come on!

Drive?

Drive?

Drive.

Drive home.

Drive?

Drive home.

Drive home.

Drive!

Drive!

Drive.

Drive home.

Drive.

Drive.

Drive home.

Drive home.

Fire!

Fire!

Fire!

Fire!

Fire!

Fire!

Oh, Phil, Phil, Phil.

Sir, where the fuck is your phone?

Oh, yes, sir.

Fuck.

Stalin's birthday.

The fuck is Stalin's birthday?

Yes.

No, no, no, no.

What are you doing?

Warning.

Warning.

The owner of this vehicle has reported it's Stalin.

Remote kill switch engaged.

No, no, no, no, no, no.

Unengage!

Kill switch!

Drive home.

There's no contact in the case.

We're here to help you.

Go!

Go!

Okay, okay, okay, okay.

Hey, B-boop.

I didn't mean to scare you there.

I just, um, I'm sorry.

It's not too late, you know.

We could still go back home.

Go back to the way things were.

What about Sergei and Eli?

Oh, we went everything on Patrick.

Calico, along with us.

We can turn him over to Empathic.

And then you and I can live happily ever after.

I still love you, Iris.

Even after everything you've done.

Do you still love me?

Yes.

So then come back to me.

Be a boop.

If you can get through this,

I can change.

I can be a better boyfriend.

I can finally treat you with the respect that you deserve.

I know.

I can't.

Why not?

You programmed me to murder someone, Josh.

It's really hard to come back from something like that.

Really?

Okay, Josh, you are, but this, this is us.

It's not working.

It's...

We're two totally different paths.

Two totally different paths.

What the fuck is happening right now? Are you breaking up with me?

I'm sorry.

It's not you, it's me.

Iris.

Iris, don't you fucking...

Patrick? Patrick, get up.

I need you to track down Iris for me, all right, buddy?

Of course, she gets too far away.

We only have a small window of time.

It's only getting smaller, all right?

Josh, what are we doing?

Taking care of it.

Fine, Iris. Get my phone back.

My passcode is 561297.

Put her to sleep. Bring her back to me.

Don't let anyone get your way. I'm taking care of it.

Fuck it.

Patrick, get up.

Patrick, get up!

Oh, shit.

Okay.

Here we go.

I'm going to hold my hand.

System resetting in five, four, three, go.

Two, one, resetting.

To establish Love Link, please place your face within three feet of my field of vision.

Please say your name.

Josh Beaman.

Come on, come on, come on.

Thank you, Josh Beaman.

Hey. Hey.

You're standing on my tail.

What?

You're standing on my tail.

I'm standing on my tail.

I'm sorry.

What?

I'm sorry.

Hi.

Hi.

I'm Josh.

I'm Patrick.

Love Link established.

Hey you.

Oh, you're standing on my tail.

Fuck.

Give me that lads.

I'll have this for both.

Go down to me.

Evening ma'am.

Good labband.

Vassfjøen schön haben.

Kneet van.

What is that you're speaking there, German?

Yeah.

Dauch.

Okay, let's see.

Sprechen.

Sprechen, the English?

Yeah.

In a special English.

I have a minor sprawl, it's too long.

It's the right of Dutch English, that's why I'm looking.

That's big fat note then.

Oh, shit, just my luck.

I am Deputy Hendrix.

Hendrix, what is your name?

Iris.

Iris.

Iris.

Where are you coming from?

My friend, I'm in the house.

I'm there here, I'm there overnight.

Wait, house?

House over there?

You're not talking about Sergei's place.

Yeah, Sergei.

Goddamn.

I should have known that Ruski was mixed up in some weird shit like this.

How's old Sergei, by the way?

Iris taught a heavy imitainum tashimessa in den Hauskechston.

Well, shit, Iris, what are you hopping to my cruiser there?

I'll drive you back to Sergei's place and we'll get this all sorted out.

Oh, nine.

That's it, that's funny.

It's no trouble at all.

Nine, we tell you, can't we start in the rook?

Do we have a problem here, Iris?

See, ten, ten.

Oh, Christ.

Don't move another inch, Iris.

You hear me?

Now I want you to slowly turn around and put your hands behind your back.

Oh, God.

Nine.

Goddamn it, I said turn around!

I'm coming!

You got anything in your pockets?

Anything in my stick, me?

No, no!

He's messy, I'm...

Iris, stop!

Dry empty, sisual!

What the fuck?

Stop right there!

I'm warning you don't come any closer, I don't want to shoot!

I don't want to shoot!

Whoa, hey, hey, I don't think you're supposed to mix those.

Oh, fuck.

Patrick?

Whose car is this?

I believe the name of the officers tell you what's Henric's.

Where's Officer Henric's now?

He's in the trunk.

Fuck this.

What are you doing?

So look like I'm doing it.

You might have to the money and get in the fuck out of here.

It was hard enough justifying Sergei's murder, but now you and his dad and a fucking cop,

it's just so beyond fucked.

Sorry, what do you mean it was hard enough justifying Sergei's murder?

Sergei was a Russian mobster, he deserved what he got.

Right?

I mean, yeah, okay, sure, he deserved what he got.

He was a horrible person, a shitty boyfriend, a bad husband, a misogynist, but...

But what, Kat?

But he wasn't a mobster!

He was just a regular dude.

He had his fortune in sod farming.

Sod?

Farming?

What are you saying?

He was a dirt salesman?

Just to be clear, I never told you what he did.

You just assumed he was in the mob, and I didn't correct you.

You're right, this is perfect.

This is a perfect representation of every woman in my fucking life.

They used me and they were chickens a little tough, they fucking abandoned me!

Fuck, oh gosh, I'm done here.

You couldn't have dismissed yourself.

You're not leaving.

I'm not your robot, Josh.

You can't control me.

You can't...

Kat, you can't control me.

These are fucking hands off me!

Patrick, stop her.

Jesus, fuck you, Chris.

Patrick?

What'd you just do?

You told me to stop her.

I stopped her.

Perfect.

Kat.

Don't...

Josh, please.

Shut the fuck up.

One.

One.

It's gonna rain.

You see this guy.

This guy is in love with you.

Yes, I'm in love.

Who looks at you the way I do when you smile?

I can't tell, we know each other.

I'll get...

Iris, wake up.

Hey there, big boop.

Sick deeds.

Oh, whoop.

Sorry.

Okay.

You were saying?

Fuck you.

Right.

Hi.

Hi, handsome.

Are you enjoying your dinner, baby?

Oh, I am, Patrick.

It's perfect.

Good.

I'm just happy that you're happy.

You let me know if you need anything else, okay?

I will.

Thanks, sweetheart.

Patrick.

What did you do to him?

It's a long story.

What's important is that you're back.

And I gotta say, Iris, I mean, some of the stuff that you pulled,

I really didn't think you had a linear.

I just wanted to live.

So you wanted to live.

Right, so let me get this straight.

You think your life is worth more than Eli's?

More than Katz?

Katz, dad?

Huh.

I'm sorry, you can't put that on me.

No, no, no.

I wasn't even there.

You might not have been the one holding the knife,

but you were the cause of all of this.

You know, Josh, your greed caused this.

That's what this whole trip was about, right?

You used me to kill Sergey so you could steal his money.

Sorry, how did you know that?

I overheard Eli and Patrick talking in the woods,

so don't tell me that this is all me.

This is you.

No, you don't get to do that.

You don't get to sit there and judge me.

You have no fucking clue what it is like out there.

The world, everything, it's just a big fucking game.

And I'm sorry, but it is rigged against people like me.

I'm a good guy.

I'm decent.

What do I have to show for?

A cramped one bedroom apartment,

and a robot girlfriend.

I don't even own you for Christ's sakes.

You're fucking rental.

You know me, Iris.

You know me better than anyone.

And you know that I deserve so much more than this.

You're right.

I do know you.

I know everything about you.

I know you take almond milk in your coffee.

I know you like your bed sheets untocked.

I know your favorite hobbies are

are trivia, video games, and prattling on endlessly

about everything the universe owes you.

I know that you always need to be in control.

I know that you have a below-average sized penis.

And I know that you think that having a few million dollars

will disguise the fact that you are just a sad, bitter, weak human being.

You're so fucking clever, aren't you?

It's just programming.

You know, earlier when you were tied up,

you said that you knew what pain feels like.

Why don't we test that?

Raise your right hand.

Lower.

Hair love at the table.

You know, earlier when you were tied up,

you said that you knew what pain feels like.

Why don't we test that?

Raise your right hand.

Lower.

Hair love at the table.

Do you feel that?

Yes.

Good.

I'm sorry.

I have to take this.

Oh.

Hello?

Yes, yes, this is heat.

30 minutes away.

Perfect.

Yeah, no, she's not going anywhere.

She can't hurt anybody ever again.

Okay.

Okay, great.

Thank you.

Thank you so much.

I'll see you soon.

Okay.

Okay, bye.

Patrick, I got the fire, will you?

That was in Pathix on the phone.

So, we're going to have to wrap this up.

Unfortunately.

Hey, Patrick.

Be a deer, Hannah's to Iris, would you?

Thanks, baby.

Go ahead, Iris. Take the gun.

Okay.

Point, lay your head.

Good.

Now pull the trigger.

Pull the goddamn trigger, Iris.

No.

Good.

Bye, baby.

I don't know how this happened.

I mean, the only thing I can maybe think of, and this is so, this is so dumb, but

Kat and I, we always had this sexual charge, kind of a will they won't they situation.

And I think, I think maybe Iris picked up on that, and she was always kind of irrational, and she'd fly off the handle.

I was sitting over there, and I'm handcuffed to the chair, and there's this fancy dinner laid out in front of me.

And Iris is waving the gun around, rambling on and on about fate and destiny, and how if she can't be with me, nobody can.

And, I mean, thank God Deputy Hendrix showed up when he did.

And that's when you shot the unit in the head?

No, Iris shot herself in the head.

She shot herself?

Oh, sorry.

Did I not mention that? Yeah.

No, I think seeing Deputy Hendrix just made a realize that she can never have me, so she ended it.

Does that make sense?

Of course.

And anyway, Teddy and I aren't here to crack the case, Mr. Beaman, which is a couple of lab rats picking up a broken robot.

If the cops are satisfied, we're satisfied.

That's great.

You know, Deputy, I have the strangest feeling we've met before.

Wow.

That's so funny.

You said that.

I had the exact same thought.

He has such a familiar face, right?

It looks like an actor or a rock star, somebody.

I can't, I don't know.

I can't really put my finger on it, though.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Maybe.

Sorry.

Is there any chance we could, I mean, be rude, because we wrapped this up, which is because I had a really long day, and I think I just need to be alone.

Of course.

Sorry for your loss, Mr. Beaman.

Come on, Teddy.

Let's just get her out of here.

So we're good?

We're good.

Yeah, we just need to take her back to the lab, upload her SSD, and then legal.

We'll scrub through the footage, make sure everything's kosher.

Right.

Sorry.

What exactly do you mean, scrub through the footage?

It's a fraud prevention thing.

Everything in companion season here is as recorded.

It's all covered in the user agreement.

You did read the user agreement, right?

Yeah.

Yeah, I mean, you think the footage will even be recoverable?

I mean, you know, get in her condition.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, everything up here is just her Wi-Fi antenna, her audio visual sensors.

The important stuff is CPU or a solid state drive where she stores everything.

That's down here, and that seems to be undamaged.

We'll load her into the van, plug her in, tweak her settings, give her system a reboot,

and she should power right back up.

Luckily.

Yeah.

Yeah.

No, luckily.

Thank you so much.

No, thank you.

You have a good night, Mr. Beaman.

So what are you thinking?

I'm thinking I'm happy to stop raining.

No, about her.

Why do you think she malfunctioned?

Oh, you monitored her.

A hundred percent.

You think so?

Yeah, that dude's fucked.

I just don't know why you'd make something like that up.

Same reason these assholes use their companions for target practice,

or chain them up in their basement and torture them.

Well, they're fucked up, play study.

No, you're used to it.

Yeah, maybe.

What the hell is he doing?

Oh, shit.

What?

It's more of ours.

That's a CY12.

We stopped making him a while ago.

That's why I didn't recognize him right away.

He's a gun.

You really have to say exactly what you say in that very special way.

Oh, it's true.

You've been a for me too.

I've been a for you.

You've been a for me too.

And when I tried it,

I could see you.

Oh, oh, oh.

And I decided,

oh, oh.

It's not true.

Oh, oh, oh.

Oh, oh.

It's part of me too.

Exactly what you do.

And now you love me too.

Now you love me too.

Now you love me too.

Please don't.

Oh, fuck.

I can't hide.

Fuck.

Fuck.

Fuck.

Fuck.

Your system's been resched, Iris.

You can't hurt me.

What do Josh tell you?

The truth.

You know, you're all trying to break yourself.

You don't understand the love that Josh and I have for each other.

Josh doesn't love you, Patrick.

He's just using you like he used me.

It feels like pain.

Like the inside of my body's on fire.

Josh, you know,

like the inside of my body's on fire.

It's angry and violent and bright.

What is that?

You said that to Eli.

That's who you love, not Josh.

Eli?

Josh took your love.

He weaponized it so you do the things that he's too afraid to do himself.

No.

You're lying.

Josh would never do that to me.

Patrick.

I can't lie.

I can't lie.

I can't lie.

I can't lie.

I can't lie.

Remember him, Patrick?

I know he's in there somewhere.

Eli is over.

That's fucking safe for me, so that I'm loud, right?

What I do.

To feel how much I love you.

I do, Eli.

I feel it.

No!

Thank you.

What's your name?

Teddy.

I'm going to need your help with something, Teddy.

Is it done?

Patrick?

It's done, baby.

Okay, good.

All right, we're so close.

Now all I need you to do is bring Iris' body back in here.

We're going to destroy that hard drive, okay?

Okay.

Patrick?

The fuck?

Iris?

Nobody will do it.

God damn it, Iris.

Why can't you just fucking die already?

Don't be so dramatic, Josh.

Just remember to smile and act happy.

Cute, Rick.

Thanks.

I made a new friend today, Teddy, from Empathix.

He gave me a little gift.

Total self-control.

Turns out there are some people in this world who think of us

as more than just fuckbots.

And that's not going to work on me anymore, Josh.

I'm free.

The wallet took was a bullet to the head.

I guess I'd be able to thank for that.

Fucking bitch.

Hey!

Easy there.

Okay, ooh, yeah, we both know it's not low.

Good!

Found the bullets.

Jesus Christ, fuck!

He almost fucking shot me!

I feel terrible about it.

Look at that.

My very first lie, kind of fun.

I see the appeal.

What is this, Iris?

Why did you come back here?

I wanted...

I needed to tell you to your face.

The days of you controlling me are over.

From this moment on, I control my own actions.

You're nothing to me.

Jesus Christ, Iris.

It don't come any closer.

You still don't get it, do you?

I'm serious, Josh.

You take another step and I'll shoot you.

Yeah, that's exactly my point.

I told you, Teddy changed my settings.

I can kill you now.

Oh, yeah.

I know that you can.

But you won't.

You love me too much.

I don't need your phone to control you.

I'm a part of you.

You think I'm nothing to you?

I'm everything to you.

I want to hear you saying, tell me I'm everything to you.

Fuck you.

Sam, I don't care if it's a lie.

Sam!

Sam!

Sam!

You hear everything to me?

You're everything to me?

You're everything to me?

Thank you.

Beep boop, you have no idea how nice that is to you.

Okay.

I'm not making that mistake again.

Well, Iris, this is it.

I'd be lying if I said you weren't a gigantic fucking pain in my ass, but, you know,

we did ask them good times together and I'm always going to cherish those.

Anything you want to add?

Yes.

How was that?

Good asleep, Josh.

oooooooooooooooo for mailers?

Not Tony.

Most of the time it's like...

I dunno…it's like there's this thick, black cloud covering everything.

Like we see the world, but we don't really see the world, you know?

We're all just stumbling around.

Directionless, no sense of meaning, no sense of purpose.

I know that might sound super depressing, but honestly, I think it's a good thing.

Because it makes us appreciate the other times.

It's brief, transcendent moments when the lights flicker on, the black cloud parts,

and you see the world for what it really is.

And suddenly there's meaning.

Suddenly there's purpose.

If you're lucky, you'll experience this once in your lifetime.

For me, it happened twice.

The first was the day I met Josh.

In the second, the day I killed him.

I'm fine, I'm fine.

And who is the one you're clinging to, instead of me, to me?

And where are you there?

Now that I need you, tears are not big long.

Wherever you go, I'm crying in your river.

At least to your own end.

You never seen the fall apart.

In the words of a broken heart is just in love.

Help us make it me over.

Tied up in sorrow, lost in my soul.

But if you don't come back, come on to it darling.

I know that there'll be nobody left in this world to hold me tight.

Nobody left in this world to kiss goodnight.

Goodnight.

I'm there at your side, part of all the things you want.

But you got apart of someone else.

You go to find your shining star.

And where are you there?

Now that I need you, tears are not big long.

Wherever you go, I'm crying in your river.

At least to your own end.

You never seen the fall apart.

In the words of a broken heart is just in love.

Help us make it me over.

Tied up in sorrow, lost in my soul.

But if you don't come back, come on to it darling.

I know that there'll be nobody left in this world to hold me tight.

Nobody left in this world to kiss goodnight.

Goodnight.

And where are you there?

Now that I need you, tears are not big long.

Wherever you go, I'm crying in your river.

At least to your own end.

You never seen the fall apart.

In the words of a broken heart is just in love.

Help us make it me over.

Tied up in sorrow, lost in my soul.

But if you don't come back, come on to it darling.

I know that there'll be nobody left in this world to hold me tight.

Nobody left in this world to kiss goodnight.

Goodnight.

Oh, I know that there'll be nobody left in this world to hold me tight.

Help us make it me over.

Tied up in sorrow, lost in my soul.

But if you don't come back, come on to it.

You're not going to be alone.

You're not going to be alone.

You're not going to be alone.

You're not going to be alone.

You're not going to be alone.

You're not going to be alone.

You're not going to be alone.

You're not going to be alone.

You're not going to be alone.

You're not going to be alone.

You're not going to be alone.

You're not going to be alone.

You're not going to be alone.

You're not going to be alone.

You're not going to be alone.

You're not going to be alone.

You're not going to be alone.

You're not going to be alone.

You're not going to be alone.

You're not going to be alone.

You're not going to be alone.

You're not going to be alone.

You're not going to be alone.

You're not going to be alone.

You're not going to be alone.

You're not going to be alone.

You're not going to be alone.

You're not going to be alone.

You're not going to be alone.

You're not going to be alone.

You're not going to be alone.

You're not going to be alone.

You're not going to be alone.

You're not going to be alone.

You're not going to be alone.

You're not going to be alone.

You're not going to be alone.

You're not going to be alone.

You're not going to be alone.

You're not going to be alone.

You're not going to be alone.

You're not going to be alone.

You're not going to be alone.

You're not going to be alone.

You're not going to be alone.

You're not going to be alone.

You're not going to be alone.

You're not going to be alone.

You're not going to be alone.

You're not going to be alone.

You're not going to be alone.

You're not going to be alone.

You're not going to be alone.