Original subtitles

♪ One fine day with a woof and a purr ♪

♪ A baby was born and it caused a little stir ♪

♪ No blue buzzard, no three-eyed frog ♪

♪ Just a feline, canine, little CatDog ♪

♪ CatDog... CatDog... ♪

♪ Alone in the world was a little CatDog ♪

♪ Out on the road or back in town ♪

♪ All kind of critters putting CatDog down ♪

♪ Got to rise above it, got to try to get along ♪

♪ Got to walk together, got to sing this song ♪

♪ CatDog... CatDog... ♪

♪ Alone in the world was a little CatDog ♪

♪ CatDog... CatDog... ♪

♪ CatDog... CatDog... ♪

♪ Alone in the world was a little CatDog. ♪

[Captioning sponsored by THE U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION

and NICKELODEON]

Oh, I can't wait to see them again!

( laughing )

♪ Mom and Dad, Mom and Dad ♪

♪ Mom and Dad are coming here today! ♪

Dog... will you please calm down?

We can't calm down.

We need to prepare the preparations!

We need marching bands

mimes, cakes, presents... spare no expense!

Dog, Dog, Dog, Dog...

Mom and Dad don't want marching bands

or expensive presents.

Okay, mimes it is!

Mimes it's not!

Dog, Mom and Dad just want to spend

a quiet, relaxing weekend with their boys, who are us.

They don't want a bunch of hoopla.

What am I going to do with all this hoopla?

( tires squeal )

( banging on door )

Hmm, wonder who that could be.

Knock, knock, we're here!

( both gasp )

BOTH: It's Mom and Dad!

MOM AND DOG: Hi-ho diggity!

Ow.

( laughing and exclaiming )

Yay!

Whee...!

Uh... okay...

I got it, no problem.

( grunts )

A little help here!

Whoopsie-daisy!

Don't worry, Dad, I'm coming to get ya!

Dad... you're beautiful.

( all laugh )

Aw...

CAT: Uh. Ahem.

Uh, Mom, Dad?

You must be exhausted from your long trip

so why don't you come on down and sit back and relax

with these fabulous presents

courtesy of your host and loving son Cat!

But Cat, you said no presents.

Here's something every father needs.

A floating contour lounger with reclining lily pad.

Say, now, that's fancy.

And for the greatest mom in the world

A super king-size multi-speed foot massager!

Oh, Cat, you shouldn't have.

Nothing but the best for my mom.

Hey, I'm the only foot massager around here.

( giggles )

You stop.

Not in front of the kids.

Gee, Mom and Dad, I didn't get you any fancy presents.

That's true.

But you can have some

of my favorite garbage.

Oh... why, Dog, it's lovely!

Ooh, the aroma...

Flies!

Now this is a present.

( laughs )

Well, I guess we know who they like best. ( laughs )

What, they like Dog best?

Ha! Don't be ridiculous.

They couldn't possibly like...

Oh, Dog, you're the best!

Oh!

Don't take it so hard.

Everybody likes Dog best.

( laughs )

BOTH: We like Cat better!

What are you, nuts?

Oh, oh! Let's play tag!

Well, count me in!

( laughs ) Me, too!

Tag, you're it!

Slowpokes!

Catch me if you can!

Over here! Ha-ha, you missed me.

Whoa... ah!

( both laugh )

Come on, boys.

But what about my g...

Catch me if you can!

( laughing and yelling )

Sorry.

( Mom and Dog laugh )

( laughing and yelling... )

( laughs )

( grunting and groaning )

Hi. Follow me!

Aah, aah, aah...

( laughing and panting... )

( laughing and yelling )

( video game music playing )

( panting and gasping )

( panting )

Oh, whee!

( horns honk, tires squeal )

CAT ( flat electronic voice ): My body. Aah! My body.

My body. Aah! My body. Aah!

My body. Aah! Aah!

My body. Aah! My body.

DOG: Hi ho diggity!

CAT: My body again. My body. Aah!

( laughs )

Oops!

Oops! Oops!

Sorry! Ha! Sorry!

Sorry. Oop, that tickles.

( laughs )

( crowd yelling... )

Follow me!

CAT: Wait, wait... Dad!

Wait, Dad... ( whimpers )

Hee-hee.

Aah!

Aah...

( gibbering )

Ha-ha!

Oh, hooray for you!

( Cat screams, lion roars )

( Cat blubbering )

Oh, Dad?

Come out, come out, wherever you are!

Olly-olly-froggy-free!

DAD: I really can't breathe.

( gasps ) Oh, dear.

Ha! ( laughs )

Tag! You're it again, you're it again!

Wait a minute, wait, wait!

There are other ways to have family fun.

How about... fishing?

Mmm... gah!

Ooh, good one, Dad!

That hits the spot.

( gags )

Uh... I, I thought we were going fishing.

We are... fly fishing! ( burps )

Go on, Cat, give it a try.

But... I clean myself with this tongue.

I want to try.

All right, but there's an art to it.

Let the tongue curl back in your throat.

Ready, aim...

Hiya, baby.

Mm-gah!

Aah!

( gulps )

Mm... ah...

Yeah, tastes a little like chicken...

if chickens were dung-eating, flying insects.

( all laugh )

DOG: Dung-eating insects...

Okay, Dad, here I go!

Hmm.

Aah...

Mm... gah!

Looks like you inherited your daddy's tongue.

CAT: Uh, well... since we don't get

to see you that much, I

I thought I'd take the liberty

of putting together a little slide show to, you know

bring you up to date on the accomplishments

of your favorite son... and Dog.

Now, this is just a little doodle I came up with.

( both laugh )

CAT: Oddly enough, I never had a lesson.

Oh, Dog, you crack me up.

( frustrated growl )

Next, a little hike I made to the top of...

Mount Everest!

( both laugh )

Dog, you're too much!

Yeah, and then some.

( laughs )

Here I am accepting my perfect attendance award

at the one-day driving school.

They said it couldn't be done.

Well, I did it! Ha!

( all snoring )

WINSLOW: Gee, you really know how to work a crowd.

But don't worry, sooner or later your folks

are bound to like you at least half as much as Dog.

( laughs )

Half as much...

It can't be...

I mean, I like me

better than Dog... why don't they?

( projector clicking... )

( growling louder and louder... )

( laughs wildly )

I'm going to put an end to this

"We like Dog better" nonsense

once and for all!

( thunder booms )

Yeah, yeah, yeah... you sleep the deep sleep

Mommy and Daddy's little favorite.

( laughs evilly )

DAD: Hurry it up, Mother.

We need to get on the road.

We're burning daylight.

Coming, dear... oops.

What in the name of chub?

Oh, bad Dog, bad, bad digging Dog who digs!

Huh... what I do, what I do?

My RV, my beautiful RV!

Oh, I tried to stop him, Mom and Dad

but... he's a dog, and

they're diggers, you know.

Dog... how could you?

With his front paws.

He does it all the time.

Gee, you're right.

Look upon the paws of a digger.

I must have done it in my sleep.

I'm sorry, Mom and Dad.

The important thing is, you took responsibility.

I'm proud of you, Dog.

Well, you should be!

You what... huh... whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa...?

Wait a minute. You still like him?

Even after he said he did those things?

It takes a big man

to take responsibility for his actions.

His actions? They weren't his actions!

They were mine! I did it!

It was me!

I admit it, I admit it!

Now you like me, right, right?

Right? Huh?

He gets this from your side of the family.

I blame you!

What did I do?

You've been planning this all along!

You outsmarted me with your stupidity!

Wait a minute... that's brilliant.

Oh, no... can it be you're smarter than me, too?

Cat, your imagination is running away with you.

Run away? ( laughs )

Good idea!

You obviously don't want me around.

All you need is Dog!

Mom and Dad always liked you best!

Always the dramatic one.

Coochie-coochie-coo!

( laughs )

Oh!

Cat, parents don't have favorites.

We love you both the same.

Right, Dad?

Dad?

A little help here!

Your mother's right.

Just 'cause Dog is cuter

and funnier and more lovable

has a better personality... ow!

Dad...

Okay, I was just kidding.

I like you both the same, too.

( sniffles )

Promise? For reals?

Oh, the joy of family!

Oh, for the love of chub...

( grunting, engine revving )

MOM: Bye!

Love you!

DAD: So long, Dog.

MOM: And you, Cat!

DAD: See you later.

MOM: Take your vitamins.

Hey, uh, Cat?

Yeah?

Even though we're not supposed to have favorites

you'll always be my favorite brother.

Oh, I know... but you're not so bad yourself.

Geez Louise!

Somebody pass the hoopla bucket!

I think I'm going to be sick.

( laughs )

Aah!

A little help here!

MOM: I'm positive we're going the wrong way.

DAD: Oh, terrific.

MOM: It's okay to pull over

and ask for directions, honey.

DAD: Fathers don't ask for directions.

MOM: It's the other way, Dad.

( Dog munching and slurping )

Mmm, yummy!

( munching and gulping )

Mmm...

♪ I eat meat... ♪ ( munch )

♪ All day long ♪

♪ That's my happy... ♪ ( gulp )

♪ Eat meat song... ♪ ( gulp )

Mmm...

( munching loudly )

( gulps )

( humming )

Huh, hmm, huh?

Oh... uh-oh.

Cat, I'm out of meat!

We got to buy some more right now!

Meat is expensive.

It doesn't grow on trees, you know.

Yes, it does.

It d... Dog, you've said a lot of silly things

in our long and colorful relationship

and that was one of them!

You have never heard of Johnny Meatseed?

No... but I have a feeling I'm about to.

( birds whistling )

DOG: Johnny Meatseed travels all over the world

planting meat trees everywhere he goes.

( jaunty music playing )

♪ My name is Johnny Meatseed ♪

♪ And I'm a meat tree planting man ♪

♪ I've planted meat trees near and far ♪

♪ across this glorious land! ♪

( music ends )

Where did you hear that ridiculous story?

A little pixie told me.

Or it might have been a leprechaun.

Come on, Dog.

I'm going to show you where meat comes from.

( cow moos )

Welcome to The Meat Channel.

Today we're going to learn where meat comes from

and I love it!

( mooing, oinking, clucking and baaing... )

( thumping... )

( thunder booms )

( thunder booms )

RANDOLPH: And that's where meat comes from.

( thunder booms )

They make animals out of meat?

( gulps )

I've been eating animals!

See, you learn something new every day.

Well, let's go to bed.

( Dog snoring and whimpering )

Mervis?

Uh, who did you expect, Peter Pan?

Um... oh, yeah.

You will be visited by the spirits

of three of your favorite meals.

So let's welcome our first ghost.

Guten abend.

Mein name ist Heinz von Hamburger.

( sniffs )

Gee, you smell good enough to eat.

You already did!

Uh, sorry.

Before I was burger, I was moo-cow.

Kommen sie hier!

I show you the good old days, ja?

HEINZ: I roamed the fields with mein little bells

going ding-a-ling all the ding-dong day.

I was captain of the badminton team.

( giggling )

I was going to the Olympics!

Until somebody decided they had to have a hamburger!

Gee, who was that?

You, dummkopf.

One hamburger, please.

( gulps )

HEINZ: Mein badminton days were over!

I'm sorry, Heinz.

I promise I'll never have another hamburger

for the rest of my little livesies.

I'll just eat tacos.

( thunder booms )

Favorite meal numero dos es aqui.

Me llamo Senorita Esperanza.

Oh, no... you, too?

Si!

And on the greatest day of my life.

( crowd cheering... )

I was to be the first flamenco chicken to go to Mars.

But then....

some stinking dog had to have a chicken taco!

Uh, would that stinking dog be stinky old me?

Si!

MAN: Tres, dos, uno, rios!

( squawks )

( sizzling... )

( munching and gulping... )

I'm sorry, Esperanza.

I'll never eat another taco!

From now on, it is only hot dogs for me.

( falling whistle )

( whimpers )

( groaning )

Cat?

MAN: So youse only gonna eat hot dogs, huh?

You wanna take a bite outta Frank, huh?

You wanna eat Frank, is that right?

You wanna eat a hot dog?!

You just gonna eat hot dogs from now on, tough guy?!

Um... yeah, no, I mean... you're scaring me!

Do you even know what hot dogs are made of?

Uh, hold on, don't help me.

Uh, let me see... uh, I'll get it.

Hot... dogs... hot... dogs are made of...

( gasps )

Oh, no, I'm a cannibal!

Nah, hot dogs ain't made of dogs, ya knucklehead!

Hot dogs are made up of a whole bunch

of your little animal friends there.

That's what hot dogs are made of?

Bingo, Junior. Occasionally they throw in a mime for flavor.

MERVIS: But mostly

hot dogs are made of pigs.

But Mervis, you're a pig.

That's right, Dog.

And you wouldn't want to eat me, would you?

No, I would never want to eat one of my friends.

MERVIS: Here's a handy list

of all the animal friends you shouldn't eat.

Remember, Dog, friends don't eat friends.

ALL: Friends don't eat friends.

Friends don't eat friends!

Friends don't eat friends.

Friends don't eat friends!

( gasps )

Cat...!

What...?!

What's the matter?

Cat, our friends are made out of meat!

Terrific.

We'll discuss it in the morning.

But it is morning!

The dawn of a new day

and I vow, as Cat is my witness

that I shall never eat my animal friends again!

From now on, it is meat no more for me!

Dog, Dog, Dog, you're a canine.

They named teeth after you.

You're a meat-eating, flesh- ingesting carnivorous beast!

What else are you going to eat?

( store music playing... )

Fruits and vegetables, fruits and vegetables! Leafy greens!

( scanner beeps )

Ooh, finally, some real food!

Cat, you know fish are our friends, too.

Yeah, right.

Hey, friend, will you lend me 20 bucks?

Hmm... gosh, no friends in there.

Tofu...

I'm your friend, Dog.

Me, too, Dog. I'm your friend.

ALL: Friends don't eat friends. Friends don't eat friends!

Friends don't eat friends...

( screams )

ALL: Friends don't eat friends.

Friends don't eat friends.

Friends don't eat friends!

Friends don't eat friends!

ALL: Friends don't eat friends!

Okay, I'll add you to the list! Friends, friends, friends, friends, friends...

I vow that I shall not eat any fruits or vegetables.

Then what the heck are you going to eat, Dog? Rocks?

Rocks!

Rocks...

Rocks, rocks, rocks.

Rocks, rocks.

( crunches )

Ow...

Boy, this is really...

...good.

Yo, Dog, I want to be your friend.

Huh? What do you say, pal?

Youse gonna be Rocky's friend?

Uh... okay.

All right! Way to go, Dog!

No rocks!

( panting )

RANDOLPH: And that's where meat comes from...

comes from... comes from.

HEINZ: Mein badminton days

were over... over... over...

ESPERANZA: Some stinking dog... stinking dog... stinking dog...

FRANK: Tough guy... tough guy... tough guy...

TOMATO: I'm your friend, Dog.

CARROT: Me, too, Dog, I'm your friend.

( hammering )

( panting )

Okay, Dog, the lack of meat

has done something to your brain.

You need meat!

No! No, I don't!

I know what I'll do.

I will just eat air!

( gulping )

Dog, snap out of it!

You've flipped your lid!

You've gone bonkers!

"Friends don't eat friends."

That's the silliest thing I've ever heard.

Ah... hey...

Cat is not on this list!

( thunder booms )

Hey, what are you doing?

D-Dog, remember.

Friends don't eat friends.

You are not my friend, you are my brother!

No!

( Dog snarling )

CAT: Help, help, help, help...!

Wait one second here.

What are you doing?

( screaming... )

( snarling... )

I, I, I, I don't think I taste very good.

I will be the judge of that!

Dog, Dog, Dog, stop...!

Meat, meat, meat, meat....

( sneezes )

Must... must eat Cat.

I must eat Cat, I must eat Cat, I must eat Cat!

( screams )

( whistles )

Heard you boys had a meat problem.

Hey, it's Johnny Meatseed.

He's really real?

( zaps, bell dings )

How about I plant some old meat trees out yonder?

Oh, yes, yes, yes, go, plant, quick, quick, fertilize!

♪ Perhaps you think I'm full of bunk ♪

♪ That meat don't grow like that ♪

♪ Well, did you ever see a dog connected to a cat? ♪

I see it...

but I don't believe it!

I guess you learn something new every day.

Hi-ho diggity!

Ooh, ooh, my body!

( grunting, panting, groaning )

That's the magic of meat!

( laughs )

( grunting, panting, groaning... )

♪ One fine day with a woof and a purr ♪

♪ A baby was born and it caused a little stir ♪

♪ No blue buzzard, no three-eyed frog ♪

♪ Just a feline, canine, little CatDog ♪

♪ CatDog... CatDog... ♪

♪ Alone in the world was a little CatDog ♪

♪ Out on the road or back in town ♪

♪ All kind of critters putting CatDog down ♪

♪ Got to rise above it, got to try to get along ♪

♪ Got to walk together, got to sing this song ♪

♪ CatDog... CatDog... ♪

♪ Alone in the world was a little CatDog... ♪

[Captioning sponsored by THE U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION

and NICKELODEON]

♪ Alone in the world was a little CatDog. ♪

[Captioned byThe Caption Center WGBH Educational Foundation]

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