Original subtitles

♪ ONE FINE DAY WITH A WOOF AND A PURR ♪

♪ A BABY WAS BORN AND IT CAUSED A LITTLE STIR ♪

♪ NO BLUE BUZZARD, NO THREE-EYED FROG ♪

♪ JUST A FELINE-CANINE LITTLE CATDOG ♪

♪ CATDOG ♪

♪ CATDOG ♪

♪ ALONE IN THE WORLD WAS A LITTLE CATDOG ♪

♪ OUT ON THE ROAD OR BACK IN TOWN ♪

♪ ALL KIND OF CRITTERS PUTTING CATDOG DOWN ♪

♪ GOTTA RISE ABOVE IT, GOTTA TRY TO GET ALONG ♪

♪ GOTTA WALK TOGETHER, GOTTA SING THIS SONG ♪

♪ CATDOG ♪

♪ CATDOG ♪

♪ ALONE IN THE WORLD WAS A LITTLE CATDOG ♪

♪ CATDOG ♪

♪ CATDOG ♪

♪ CATDOG ♪

♪ CATDOG ♪

♪ ALONE IN THE WORLD WAS A LITTLE CATDOG. ♪

[Captioning sponsored by THE U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION

and NICKELODEON]

CAT, HOW COME SOMETHING EXCITING HAPPENS TO US EVERY DAY?

OH, WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

NOTHING EXCITING HAS HAPPENED TO US TOD...

( screaming )

( yelping and yowling )

OH, LOOK OUT

LOOK OUT, LOOK OUT...

OUCH...

OW...

OY...

HEY, CAT, LOOK, IT IS RANDOLPH.

WHO CARES ABOUT...

( Cat gasps )

AND TALLULAH...

HEY, I BET THEY'RE FILMING

THEIR NEW RICK RIVERS SPY MOVIE.

I MAY BE A SECRET AGENT

BUT I CAN'T KEEP MY LOVE FOR YOU A SECRET ANY LONGER.

OH, DARLING, LET'S SAVE THE WORLD!

AND... CUT! PERFECT!

YOU'RE MELTING THE LENS, BABY.

I WAS TOTALLY IN THE MOMENT.

AND I LOVED IT!

BOY, I'D LOVE TO BE IN A MOVIE.

LOOK AT ALL THAT FREE FOOD.

AND PLAY A LOVE SCENE OPPOSITE TALLULAH... OOH, MAMA!

THINK IT WILL EVER HAPPEN, CAT?

TO YOU AND ME? HA!

NOT IN TEN MILLION...

Rancid: TIME FOR THE BIG STUNT SCENE!

WHERE'S OUR STUNTMAN?

RIGHT, HERE, MR. RAN...

( grunting and groaning )

I THINK I BROKE MY BACK.

QUICK, ROLL FILM BEFORE I PASS... OH... OUT.

( siren wailing )

NO STUNTMAN? WE'RE RUINED!

WE CAN'T SHOOT!

DISASTER!

( wailing )

Dog: OH, MR. DIRECTOR GUY, HERE IS YOUR STUNTMAN.

I MEAN, MEN... I MEAN, CAT...

WHAT?!

...DOG. WE DO STUNTS.

NO, DOG!

DO YOU HAVE ANY EXPERIENCE?

WHY, SURE.

WATCH THIS.

DOG, NO! WHAT ARE YOU THINKING? NO!

( yelling )

( grunting, yelping and yowling )

TA-DA!

HMM, NOT BAD.

DOG, ARE YOU CRAZY?

STUNTS ARE DANGEROUS.

WE'LL GET MAIMED.

WE'LL GET HURT.

WELCOME TO SHOW BUSINESS... MEAT.

( stammering )

WILL GET... TALLULAH.

READY WHEN YOU ARE, DOUBLE-R.

I-I DON'T KNOW ABOUT THIS, DOG.

FIRST WE'LL DO

THE FLYING-THROUGH- PLATE-GLASS-WINDOW STUNT.

OOH, PLATE GLASS!

WOWIE CABOODLES!

OOH.

UH, SIR, PLEASE, JUST, CAN...

CAN WE GET HURT DOING THIS?

OH, LOOK, KITTY, YOU CAN GET HURT

JUST WALKING DOWN THE STREET.

WHOA!

OW!

Rancid: SEE?

NOW, IN THIS SCENE

RICK RIVERS LEAPS THROUGH THIS WINDOW

JUMPS ONTO A MOVING CAR

LEAPS OFF AND SLIDES DOWN A STRING OF LIGHTS

AND GIVES A KISS TO MISS BUNNYHONEY.

AH! A, A KISS?!

A KISS...

THANK YOU-THANK-YOU-THANK YOU- THANK YOU-THANK-YOU-THANK YOU...

OH, NO WAY, THAT'S GROSS.

GIRL GERMS... NO KISSING, NO SMOOCHING, NO WAY...

DOG, DOG, DOG, IT'S A FAKE KISS

AND IT WILL BE MY LIPS, NOT YOURS.

WE'RE JUST ACTING.

YEAH, BUT I DON'T... OH...

ACTING!

PLACES!

QUIET ON THE SET!

LIGHTS...

CAMERA...

ACTION!

( yelling and panting )

WHOA...

( screaming )

( groaning )

OW...

( panting )

OH, HERE IT COMES.

HEY!

YOU DO THE STUNTS...

I DO THE KISSING.

ROLL 'EM, RANCY.

OOH... SAVED.

DID YOU SEE... BUT I WAS...

( muttering )

SORRY, KID, BUT IT'S A STAR-DRIVEN MEDIUM.

Rancid: ALL RIGHT, NEXT SCENE, NEXT STUNT

AND SOMEONE GET ME DOWN FROM HERE!

OKAY, PEOPLE, LISTEN UP.

( engine revs )

THIS TIME, RICK RIVERS DRIVES OVER THE FOUNTAIN

DOES A FLIP, CRASHES INTO THE FRUIT STAND AND KISSES THE GIRL.

BAH, BLECH!

AGAIN WITH THE KISSING?

DON'T WORRY, DOGGIE

I'LL BE DOING ALL THE KISSING.

THAT'S WHAT YOU THINK, PRETTY BOY.

( chuckling )

LIGHTS, CAMERA

ACTION!

( tires squealing )

( whooping and hollering )

Dog: YAHOO...

( screams )

WHAT, WHAT, WHAT?!

HE WAS SUPPOSED TO CRASH INTO THE FRUIT STAND!

THAT DIRTY RAT...

I MEAN CAT.

I'LL SHOW HIM.

WHOA...

( spitting )

( crash )

WHAT THE...? CUT!

HELP ME! I THINK I BROKE A NAIL!

( laughing )

OH, THAT WAS FUNNY!

YOU THINK THAT WAS FUNNY?

COMICAL!

IT WAS REALLY FUNNY?

YOU THOUGHT THAT WAS FUNNY?

ZIP IT! OR I'LL TELL EVERYONE

ABOUT YOUR LITTLE BAKED BEANS EPISODE.

I'M... ZIPPING.

ALL RIGHT, PEOPLE, SET UP FOR THE FINAL STUNT.

AND YOU...

NO MORE IMPROVISING.

FORGET IT!

WE'RE OUT OF HERE!

THIS STUNT CATDOG IS LEAVING THE BUILDING!

HEY!

ADIOS!

WAIT, CAT, WE CANNOT QUIT!

OH, NO? WATCH ME.

QUITTING!

SEND MY CHECK TO...

CAT, WE JOINED THE LOYAL BROTHERHOOD OF STUNTMEN.

WE MEMORIZED THE OATH.

"WE WILL FALL AND CRASH AND NOT COMPLAIN

ABOUT OUCHIES, OWIES, OOPSIES OR PAIN."

WE SIGNED ON FOR THIS JOB AND WE ARE GOING TO DO IT!

AH... I HATE IT WHEN YOU MAKE SPEECHES LIKE THAT.

FINAL STUNT.

NO WAY, DOG, NOW LET'S GO.

YES WAY!

( grunting )

AND THE FINAL KISS.

OOH-HOO... MY LAST CHANCE TO KISS TALLULAH.

AW, PLEASE, CAT

PLEASE, CAT, PLEASE...

( chanting ): ONE MORE STUNT, ONE MORE STUNT...

OKAY, OKAY, OKAY, OKAY, ONE MORE.

BUT THIS TIME, WE DO IT RIGHT.

NO HARD FEELINGS, RANDY.

SAY, HOW ABOUT GIVING US AN AUTOGRAPHED PICTURE?

I'D LOVE IT AND SO WILL YOU.

( grunting )

HEY, NOT SO TIGHT!

WOW, YOU'VE DONE THIS BEFORE!

ONCE OR TWICE.

YEAH, WE USED TO DO A MAGICAL ACT.

TA-DA!

HEY, THAT'S FANTASTIC!

TOODLE-OO.

SEE YOU AT THE MOVIES!

I DO NOT LOVE THIS IN THE LEAST!

OW! ROPE BURNS!

CAT... CAT, I THINK

WE WERE KIND OF MEAN TO RANDOLPH.

OH, DOG, DOG, DOG, DOG, DOG.

WE WEREN'T MEAN.

WE WERE... ACTING MEAN.

YEAH, BUT HE... OH...

ACTING!

ONE MORE LITTLE STUNT

AND WE'LL HAVE OUR PICTURE WRAPPED.

AND IT ENDS WITH RICK RIVERS KISSING TALLULAH? HMM...?

YES.

THEN WE'RE... IN!

Tallulah: YOO-HOO. MEAT.

( stammering )

DARN, WHY DID I EVER PASS ON THAT MOVIE ABOUT HOUDINI?

AW, GEE, CAT, THIS IS GOING TO BE OUR BEST STUNT EVER.

HOLY HITCHCOCK!

JUMPING VERTIGO!

TOO HIGH, WAY TOO HIGH.

OH, YEAH, WAY, WAY, WAY TOO...

TOO MUCH HEIGHT AND...

WE'RE NOT NEAR THE GROUND.

I JUST CAN'T DO THIS.

I CAN'T, I CAN'T.

COME ON, CAT

COME ON!

REMEMBER, YOU GET TO...

( blows raspberry )

KISS TALLULAH.

KISS, KISS, KISSY, KISS, YES, YES, YES, OKAY.

CONCENTRATE ON THE KISS... YES, DO IT FOR THE KISS.

ALL RIGHT, I'LL DO IT.

LIGHTS...

CAMERA...

AND... ACTION!

HI-HO DIGGETY!

( hollering ): FOR THE KISS...

HI-HO BUNNY!

HEY, THAT'S NOT IN THE SCRIPT... BUT I LIKE IT!

WHOA....

HERE IT COMES, DOG

HERE IT COMES!

THE KISS OF A LIFETIME!

AND NO RANDOLPH IN SIGHT!

Rancid: CUT!

WHAT CUT? RANDOLPH'S NOT EVEN HERE!

HOW DID HE DO THAT?

( screaming )

AND... ACTION!

NO-NO-NO-NO-NO-NO-NO-NO-NO...!

( whimpering )

WHOA!

( groaning )

AND CUT!

( grunting and moaning )

THAT WAS BEAUTIFUL!

THANKS, BETTY.

I'M TALLULAH HATBANK, MEAT

AND I ONLY KISS THE STAR!

( huffs )

OOH... SORRY ABOUT THAT KISS, PAL.

UM, ACTUALLY... IT WAS KIND OF FUN.

( guttural grunt )

( hoarse voice ): RIGHT BACK AT YOU, ROMEO.

OH... BUT MY NAME IS DOG.

( retching )

( birds chirping )

OUCH!

OH, SHH, SHH!

WOW, THIS IS FUN!

CAN WE STAY IN THIS BLUEBERRY BUSH FOREVER, CAT?

THAT'S THE PLAN.

WE HIDE HERE

AND THE GREASERS CAN'T FIND US.

MM, MM... RIGHT!

MMM!

MAYBE LATER WE CAN SWITCH TO A BIG BUSH.

( munching )

♪ DEE-DEE-DEE ♪

♪ DEE-DEE-DEE-DEE ♪

♪ DEE-DEE-DEE-DOO! ♪

HEY, WHAT GIVES?

I'M SMELLING CATDOG, BUT I AIN'T SEEING THEM.

YEAH, WHAT STINKS?

SHH, SHH, SHH...

( gasps )

DUH...

THIS BLUE IS A BIG BERRY.

HELLO!

DUH...

HELLO, BLUEBERRY.

HMM?

IT'S TIME TO TURN THIS BLUEBERRY BUSH

INTO A BLACK-AND-BLUEBERRY BUSH.

RUN, DOG!

( shrieking and yowling )

( grunting and yelling )

STRAWBERRY!

BAM, BAM, CATDOG.

DUH...

WHO'S IN THE MOOD FOR MUFFINS?

( panting )

THIS IS CRAZY.

( groaning )

OW...

OH... THERE'S GOT TO BE SOMETHING

THAT'LL STOP THE GREASERS.

EVERYBODY'S GOT A WEAK POINT.

( grunting ): OH!

I, FOR EXAMPLE, AM SOMEWHAT SCARED OF WATER.

AND FIRE... AND HEIGHTS...

AND THE GREASERS AND A WHOLE BUNCH OF OTHER STUFF.

OKAY, OKAY, I'M A BAD EXAMPLE.

MY ULTIMATE HERO, MEAN BOB

IS MADE POWERLESS BY PORK FAT.

THAT'S RIGHT-- THAT'S A GOOD EXAMPLE. PERFECT.

WE'VE GOT TO FIGURE OUT THE GREASERS' PORK FAT.

THE ONE THING THAT WILL STOP THEM IN THEIR TRACKS.

BUT HOW ARE WE GOING TO DO THAT?

HOW ARE WE GOING TO DO THAT?!

AY!

CATDOG!

CHECK OUT

THIS EYE-GOUGING CINCH BUG.

UNBELIEVABLE!

( chuckles )

I'D RATHER NOT.

BUT YOU KNOW WHAT WOULD BE FASCINATING?

STUDYING THE GREASERS.

OH, VERY INTERESTING.

I AM INTRIGUED BY ANIMAL AGGRESSION.

( whining )

THE GREASERS ARE THE AGGRESSITIVEST ANIMALS AROUND.

THIS IS TRUE.

BRING ON THE GREASERS!

YEOW!

OW!

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

( groans )

( tires screeching )

Lola: OKAY, BOYS, LET ME WALK YOU

THROUGH THE SURVEILLANCE VAN.

MONITORS...

TAPE RECORDERS...

COMPUTER MAINFRAME...

BOWLING ALLEY...

EVERYTHING WE NEED

TO STUDY THE GREASERS.

HEY, THIS PLACE IS SHMANCY!

AND IT GETS GREAT MILEAGE.

THANKS FOR HELPING WITH MY RESEARCH, CATDOG.

PLEASE... I INSISTED.

I'LL INFILTRATE THE GREASERS' HIDEOUT

AND SECRETLY RECORD EVERYTHING THAT GOES ON

WITH THIS CAMERA AND MICROPHONE.

UH-UH.

LOOK, CAT-- KARAOKE!

♪ ONE FINE DAY WITH A WOOF AND A PURR... ♪

OKAY, WIRE ME UP.

WE'LL MAN THE EQUIPMENT AND MAKE SURE

WE CAPTURE ALL THE GREASERS' SECRETS.

( whispers ): OKAY, CATDOG.

I'm about to make contact.

GOOD LUCK, AGENT LOLA.

SHE CAN'T HEAR YOU, DOG. OH.

( yelling ): GOOD LUCK, AGENT LOLA!

BOOM!

YEE!

YEE!

YEE!

HEY, WHERE'S THAT GRUB, LUBE?

DUH...

I BAKED...

WHA...?

BLUEBERRY MUFFINS

B-BLUEBERRY PANCAKES

AND, DUH...

I BAKED MY HAND INSIDE A LOAF OF BLUEBERRY BREAD.

MUFFIN! BREAD!

HA!

OW!

( squeaks )

DUH, LOLA?

( growling )

( gasps )

TAKE IT EASY. TAKE IT EASY.

I COME IN PEACE.

AND YOU'RE GOING TO LEAVE IN PIECES!

GIVE US ONE GOOD REASON

WHY WE SHOULDN'T POUND YOU FOR TRESPASSING.

BECAUSE... I... I... I WANT TO JOIN THE GREASERS.

SHE WANTS TO WHAT?

HA! HA!

THAT GIRL IS GOOD.

( laughing )

( laughing ) ( laughing )

REMIND ME TO POUND YOU...

WHEN WE STOP LAUGHING.

( laughter continues )

BUT ONLY DOGS CAN BE IN THE GREASERS.

ONLY DOGS CAN BE IN THE GREASERS!

THAT'S WHY THEY CALL THEM...

THE GREASER DOGS!

DUH... IT'S NOT 'CAUSE WE'RE ALL GREASY?

YOU JUST MADE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE

of your short, feathery life.

( growling )

I SURE HOPE LOLA KNOWS WHAT SHE'S DOING.

OF COURSE SHE DOES.

SHE'S A PROFESSIONAL SCIENTIST.

HUH?

( growling )

WHAT'S WRONG WITH THE MONITOR?

NOW, TAKE IT EASY, GUYS.

I JUST FIGURED YOU COULD USE THE EXTRA DUES.

UH, UH, IF YOU WANT, I COULD JUST... ADIOS!

( grunts )

EE-YAH!

HEY, BIRDY.

WHAT MAKES YOU THINK YOU'VE GOT

WHAT IT TAKES TO BE A GREASER?

YEAH. YOU EVER SHAVE A SKUNK

WHILE IT WAS SLEEPING?

I'M A VERY DEEP SLEEPER.

DID YOU EVER CAGE

AN EYE-GOUGING CINCH BUG?

DUH... YOU EVER PREHEAT YOUR HAND TO 450 DEGREES?

EE... CATDOG...

You getting all of this?

COME ON, COME ON.

YES!

Lola: Hey, CatDog...

CAT, LOLA'S IN TROUBLE.

LET'S GO GET HER.

WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, HO-HO-HO-HOA!

THEY'RE JUST STARTING TO REVEAL GREASER SECRETS.

ANY MINUTE NOW, WE'LL DISCOVER THEIR PORK FAT.

You can talk to your feathers all you want

but you ain't flying out of here.

Hey... who's in the mood for some Buffalo wings?

COME ON, CAT, THEY'RE NOT KIDDING AROUND.

NOW, NOW, JUST A SECOND.

I KNOW THEY'LL SPILL THEIR SECRET.

COME ON, LOLA, GIVE ME THE PORK FAT.

COME ON, YOU CAN DO IT, BABY.

Since you're headed to the deep fryer

you won't be needing this hat.

UH-OH...

( screams )

Lola: OH, NO! OY, AY, AY, OY, OY, OY, OY, NO!

I HAVE BAD HAT HAIR.

DON'T WORRY.

WE'RE GOING TO GIVE YOU A BRAND-NEW HAIRDO.

DUH, I'LL GET THE CURLERS.

I WAS USING A METAPHOR.

DUH, OKAY.

BUT THE CURLERS WORK BETTER.

( grunts )

OW! HEY! WHAT'S THIS?

WHA... AAH!

IT'S A CAMERA!

We've got ourselves

A SNITCH!

A RAT!

NO, NO, GET THE PORK FAT!

I CAN EXPLAIN! I CAN EXPLAIN!

GREASERS!

JUST LET ME TALK!

Security breach!

( gasps ) ( gasps )

( wailing ): LOLA!

( crying )

( whistling )

WELL, AS LONG AS WE'RE EATING

I FIGURED I'D MAKE A SALAD.

CAT, ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!

WE'VE GOT TO SAVE LOLA!

YOU'RE RIGHT!

BUT MAYBE YOU'RE WRONG.

NO, NO, NO, WE SHOULD SAVE HER.

BUT LET'S NOT RUSH INTO ANYTHING.

YOU COULD BE WRONG ABOUT BEING RIGHT.

THEN I WAS RIGHT WHEN YOU WERE...

THEN IT'S... OUCH! I JUST CAN'T... UH!

Cliff: AND WHAT DO WE DO TO A SNITCH

WHAT THAT WEARS A WIRE?

DUH... DON'T TELL ME.

DUH... I KNOW THIS ONE.

I DON'T KNOW.

IT... IT'S NEVER HAPPENED BEFORE.

THIS IS... TRUE.

IT... IT WAS JUST RESEARCH, I SWEAR!

OH!

HEY, YOU KNOW WHAT?

LOLA'S THE ONLY PERSON IN NEARBURG WITH THE GUTS

TO DO SOMETHING LIKE THIS.

YEAH, AND YOU GOT TO ADMIRE THAT KIND OF GUMPTION.

DUH... SHE'S CRAZIER THAN ME IS.

MAYBE YOU DO GOT WHAT IT TAKES TO BE A GREASER AFTER ALL.

IS THERE A VIOLENT AND HIGHLY VISUAL INITIATION RITUAL?

NAH.

YOU JUST SIGN A FEW FORMS.

AND WE TELL YOU WHAT THE GREASERS' PORK FAT IS.

( whispers ): YOU KNOW, THE THING THAT MAKES US POWERLESS.

READY?

READY.

THE ONE THING THAT CAN

STOP THE GREASERS IS...

HEE-YAH!

DON'T WORRY, LOLA.

WE'LL SAVE YOU.

LOLA, YOU'RE WORKING WITH THESE LOSERS?!

( choking ): WE ARE HER RESEARCH ASSISTANTS.

THEN THE DEAL'S OFF.

YOU CANNOT HANG OUT WITH CATDOG

AND BE A GREASER.

GOOD JOB, CATDOG!

WE WERE THIS CLOSE TO A MAJOR SCIENTIFIC DISCOVERY.

( choking ): I DON'T BELIEVE SHE'S MAD AT US!

HEY, BUT WE DON'T WANT YOU

TO LEAVE EMPTY-HANDED.

( whispering )

( laughing )

YEAH, WE'LL STILL THROW SOME SCIENCE YOUR WAY.

( giggles )

UNBELIEVABLE!

( grunting and yelling )

SCIENTIFICALLY SPEAKING

THIS IS THE BEST WAY TO POUND A CATDOG.

HANG IN THERE, CATDOG!

I'M GETTING SOME UNBELIEVABLE FOOTAGE!

( grunting and yelling )

ANYTHING FOR SCIENCE.

♪ ONE FINE DAY WITH A WOOF AND A PURR ♪

♪ A BABY WAS BORN AND IT CAUSED A LITTLE STIR ♪

♪ NO BLUE BUZZARD, NO THREE-EYED FROG ♪

♪ JUST A FELINE-CANINE LITTLE CATDOG ♪

♪ CATDOG ♪

♪ CATDOG ♪

♪ ALONE IN THE WORLD WAS A LITTLE CATDOG ♪

♪ OUT ON THE ROAD OR BACK IN TOWN ♪

♪ ALL KIND OF CRITTERS PUTTING CATDOG DOWN ♪

♪ GOTTA RISE ABOVE IT, GOTTA TRY TO GET ALONG ♪

♪ GOTTA WALK TOGETHER, GOTTA SING THIS SONG ♪

♪ CATDOG, CATDOG ♪

♪ ALONE IN THE WORLD WAS A LITTLE CATDOG... ♪

[Captioning sponsored by THE U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION

and NICKELODEON

Captioned by The Caption Center WGBH Educational Foundation]