Original subtitles

♪ ONE FINE DAY WITH A WOOF AND A PURR ♪

♪ A BABY WAS BORN AND IT CAUSED A LITTLE STIR ♪

♪ NO BLUE BUG AND NO THREE-EYED FROG ♪

♪ JUST A FELINE, CANINE, LITTLE CATDOG ♪

♪ CATDOG... CATDOG... ♪

♪ ALONE IN THE WORLD WAS A LITTLE CATDOG ♪

♪ OUT ON THE ROAD OR BACK IN TOWN ♪

♪ ALL KIND OF CRITTERS PUTTING CATDOG DOWN ♪

♪ GOT TO RISE ABOVE IT, GOT TO TRY TO GET ALONG ♪

♪ GOT TO WALK TOGETHER, GOT TO SING THIS SONG ♪

♪ CATDOG... CATDOG... ♪

♪ ALONE IN THE WORLD WAS A LITTLE CATDOG ♪

♪ CATDOG... CATDOG... ♪

♪ ALONE IN THE WORLD WAS A LITTLE CATDOG. ♪

[Captioning sponsored by THE U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION

and NICKELODEON]

( tuning radio... )

♪ ...I'M LONELY, I'M LONESOME, I'M ALONE... ( dog howls ) ♪

♪ YOU KNOW, I'M LONELY THROUGH AND THROUGH TO THE BONE ♪

♪ LONELY'S MY MIDDLE NAME, SOLITAIRE IS MY GAME ♪

♪ AND, OH, MY FAVORITE COLOR IS BLUE ♪

♪ YOU KNOW, I'M LONELY 'CAUSE I NEVER KNOWED YOU ♪

♪ YOU KNOW, I'M LONELY, I'M LONELY, I'M DEPRESSED... ♪

( grunting and groaning )

♪ IN THE DUMPS ALL THE DAY... ♪

( grunting and groaning... )

♪ ...I'M LONELY 'CAUSE I NEVER KNOWED YOU... ♪

( sighing )

LUBE IS BLUE.

♪ BOO-HOO, BOO-HOO-HOO. ♪

( sniffing and panting... )

THERE'S NOTHING LIKE A LOVELY SUNDAY DRIVE, DOG!

MAN, DO I LOVE THIS CAR!

HI-HO DIGGETY TO THAT, CAT! WHOA...

EITHER I'M HAVING A SEIZURE

OR THERE'S SOMETHING WRONG WITH OUR CAR.

( tires squealing )

( engine backfiring )

BOY, I WISH THIS WASN'T THE ONLY GARAGE IN TOWN.

HEY, LUBE...

SOMETHING'S WRONG WITH OUR CAR.

( grunting )

( coughing )

( sizzling, exploding )

( Lube screams )

HOW BAD IS IT?

UH... HUNDREDS AND HUNDREDS OF DOLLARS BAD.

OH, WE CAN'T AFFORD THAT!

( horn honks )

FILL IT UP WITH SUPER-EXPENSIVE SUPREME.

UH, YES, YOUR MAY-JESTY.

HURRY UP-- MISS THING HERE IS LATE FOR HER POLO GAME.

( sheep baaing... )

( heart thumping... )

UH... THAT'S THE MOST BEAUTIFUL THING I EVER SEEN

SINCE CHEESY CRUST PIZZA

UH... ( grunts )

GROAN.

HEY, LUBE LOOKS SICK.

AND MY HEART IS DOING FUNNY FLIPPY FLOP THINGS.

FLIP... FLOP...

( chuckles )

LUBE'S IN LOVE!

( laughing )

I AM?

YUP... BUT YOU GOT NO CHANCE.

FACE IT.

JUST LOOKING AT YOU MAKES ME NAUSEOUS!

I'D GIVE A LOT OF STUFF TO HAVE HER LIKE ME

BUT I GOTS NO CHANCE AT ALL EVER.

CAT... CAN'T WE HELP HIM?

NOT IN THIS PARTICULAR LIFETIME.

WELL, MAYBE WE CAN HELP EACH OTHER OUT, LUBE, OLD PAL, UM...

AHEM, NOW ARE YOU AWARE THAT I'M THE DOCTOR OF LOVE?

AND I AM KNOWN AS THE NURSE OF NOO-KY.

DUH, I AM MORE THAN NORMALLY CONFUS-ED.

OKAY, HERE'S THE DEAL: YOU FIX UP OUR CAR AND WE'LL FIX YOU UP WITH THAT BEAUTY.

( thumping and clanking )

( creaking )

DUH! OH, LET'S DO THE FIXING.

Cat: ALL RIGHT!

WILL YOU ASSIST, NURSE DOG?

YUP, YUP, UH-HUH, UH-HUH, YEAH, YEAH, YOU GOT IT!

( clanking... )

NOW FIRST, YOU GOT TO LOOK CLASSY.

OKAY, LET'S JUST PRACTICE SOME LINES. TRY THIS:

AHEM...

( in deep voice ): YOU'RE A FASCINATING WOMAN.

DUH, THANKS.

OH, HO... THIS IS GOING TO BE FUN.

COME ON, REPEAT AFTER CAT, LUBE.

( straining ): YOU'RE...

EE...

A FASCINATING WOMAN!

A...

FASCINATING...

FA...

CHANGES OF PLANS.

LET ME DO THE TALKING.

YOU JUST LOOK SOPHISTICATED

( yelps )

HERE, PUT THIS ON SO SHE WON'T SEE YOUR MOUTH.

Man: I REALLY MUST GET THE RECIPE FOR THIS CHAMPAGNE.

Man 2: ( laughs ) SO I SAID, "IF YOU THINK I'M REPLACING MY OWN DIVOT, YOU'RE CUCKOO."

THERE IS HER WHO I LOVE

WITH THE RED THING IN MY CHEST THAT GOES BUMPY-WUMPY.

( yawns )

ER.... WHERE'S THE SWIMMING POOL?

WHAT SWIMMING POOL?

AREN'T THEY GOING TO PLAY MARCO POLO?

( sighs ) NO, DOG, JUST POLO POLO.

YOU PLAY IT ON HORSES.

( gasps )

( whinnying )

BUT HORSES CAN'T SWIM.

OH, FOR THE LOVE OF...

Calling all rich and snooty contestants.

The polo match is about to begin.

DUH, WHERE'S MY HORSIE?

( Cat and Dog grunting... )

( in deep voice ): GOOD AFTERNOON.

MY NAME IS ERNST LUBOVICH, THIRD EARL OF RIGATONI AND YOU ARE...

( yawns )

GRACE HEPBURN...

AND I'M BORED.

Cat ( whispers ): KISS, DON'T LICK!

Cat ( as Ernst ): UH, SORRY, UH, THAT'S HOW WE DO IT IN RIGATONI.

ALLOW ME...

WHAT KIND OF HORSE IS THAT?

UM, IT'S A, UH...

EAST ARABIAN...

WEST INDIAN...

TOY MINIATURE...

DWARF STALLION...

PONY.

OH...

( horses whinnying and galloping )

OKAY, LUBE, GIRLS LOVE A WINNER.

SO LET'S WIN THIS THING!

( in cultivated voice ): HI-HO DIGGETY.

( grunting and yelling... )

( all gasp )

PUT THE BISCUIT IN THE BASKET, LUBEY, BABY.

( Lube laughs, grunts )

( cheering and applause... )

OH, THAT WAS MOMENTARILY EXCITING... ( yawns )

BUT NOW I AM BORED AGAIN.

GOOD-BYE.

Lube: DUH, DON'T LEAVE, BEAUTIFUL CHEESY CRUST PIZZA LADY.

WHAT DID YOU CALL ME?

Cat: UH... THAT'S THE HIGHEST COMPLIMENT IN RIGATONI. ( chuckles )

( whispers ): DO SOMETHING!

Dog: UH, MY, UH...

MY LIMO'S IN THE SHOP GETTING LIMOIZED.

UH, MAY I BUM A RIDE HOME?

Cat ( aloud ): GOOD THINKING.

( whispers ): I MEAN, GOOD THINKING.

IF YOU WISH.

DUH... ( whispering )

IS IT ALL RIGHT IF I, UM... BRING MY HORSE?

( Dog and Lube panting and laughing )

DUH... IT'S NO USE.

SHE DOES NOT WANT ME.

I AM SAD...

NOT TO WORRY, LUBE, THIS WILL GET HER, I GUARANTEE IT.

AHEM... GRACE, I MUST CONFESS, YOU ARE MY LOVE, MY LIFE...

I CANNOT LIVE WITHOUT YOU.

I WANT TO CROWN YOU WITH FLOWERS.

( yawning )

MAN, THIS IS ONE ICY ICE QUEEN.

I GIVE UP.

I GIVE UP, TOO.

( thump )

( rattling and clanking )

GREAT, ANOTHER SEIZURE!

YUCK, WHAT A FILTHY

GREASY MESS!

SORRY, MA'AM, I CAN'T FIX IT.

( sighs ) OH, HOW BORING.

UH, DUH, I'LL FIX IT.

YOU?

WAIT, LUBE, DON'T BLOW YOUR COVER!

DUH...

LIKE A WISE MAN ONCE SAID... ( grunting )

I AM WHAT I AM.

AND I AM...

A MECHANIC?A GREASER?

A-LONE.

DUH, WELL, HERE WE GO.

( grunting... )

CHANGE OILY THING...

WIPE THE GREASE....

( grunting... )

I DON'T BELIEVE IT.

YOU FIX CARS?

UH, SORRY.

I FIX CAR AND THEN I GO BYE-BYE.

YOU'RE NOT GOING ANYWHERE, MISTER!

DUH, CAREFUL, YOU'LL GET GREASY.

THE GREASIER THE BETTER!

DUH?

ALL I'VE EVER NEEDED

IS A MAN WHO'LL GET DOWN AND DIRTY

AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW IT!

DUH... I CAN INTRODUCE YOU TO SOME OTHER MECHANICS.

NO, I LOVE YOU, ERNST LUBOVICH, THIRD EARL OF RIGATONI!

AW, I LOVE A HAPPY ENDING.

YEAH... BUT WHEN IS IT GOING TO BE OUR TURN FOR LOVE, DOG?

UH, MAYBE TODAY?

EASY, TRIGGER, YOU'RE MAKING A BIG MISTAKE!

( Cat and Dog yelping... )

WHAT A TREAT!

THE NEARBURG MUSEUM OF FINE ART IS HAVING AN EXHIBITION OF RARE YARN BALLS!

ISN'T THAT FANTASTIC, DOG? DOG?

( growling... )

DOG, DON'T GET ME WRONG.

I MEAN THIS IN THE NICEST POSSIBLE WAY, BUT...

YOU'RE REPULSIVE.

JUST DOING WHAT COMES NATURAL.

I WISH THAT YOU HAD JUST ONE HOBBY

THAT DIDN'T INVOLVE CHASING, CHEWING OR ROLLING IN GARBAGE.

I MEAN, JUST ONE DROOL-FREE PASTIME.

IF IT WOULD MAKE YOU HAPPY, CAT, I'LL TRY.

SAY... HOW ABOUT MY OLD BUTTERFLY COLLECTOR KIT?

UH, THAT'S A LITTLE TOO FELINE FOR ME, YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?

FINE... HEY, HOW ABOUT THIS JIGSAW PUZZLE?

LOOK, NO BUTTERFLIES. HMM?

OH, WHAT'S THIS?

CHEESE!

MY OLD CAMERA! PERFECT!

DOG, YOU WILL BE

A PHOTOGRAPHER!

OKEY-DOKEY!

HOLA, FELLAS.

WHAT'S GOING ON? OOH!

HOLA, LOLA.

I'VE TURNED DOG INTO QUITE THE PHOTOGRAPHER.

I CALL IT "A BONE, A SHOE AND A STICK."

THAT IS A BEAUTIFUL START, DOG

BUT DID YOU EVER THINK OF TAKING PICTURES OF PEOPLE?

A REAL ARTIST CAN CAPTURE A PERSON'S TRUE NATURE.

REALLY?

OH, SURE.

BUT YOU HAVE TO BE CAREFUL.

SOMETIMES PURSUING ART CAN GET YOU IN A LOT OF HOT WATER...

QUESO!

WELL, I HAVE TO BE FLYING.

I'M MAKING DENTAL IMPRINTS OF NEARBURG'S MOOSE POPULATION. CIAO!

WOW... NOW, THERE GOES SOMEBODY WITH A LOT OF DIVERSE INTERESTS.

SMILE, CAT!

( snoring... )

COME ON, BABY, SLEEP FOR ME.

THAT'S IT-- BEAUTIFUL! BEAUTIFUL!

NOW GIVE ME THAT LOOK THAT SAYS "I'M HAVING SOME SWEET DREAMS."

I LOVE WHAT YOU'RE GIVING ME, WHOA, WHOA, DON'T OVERDO IT!

I... JUH... ENOUGH WITH THE PICTURES ALREADY!

I'M TRYING TO SLEEP!

BUT YOU SAID I SHOULD PURSUE MY NEW HOBBY.

( sighs ) I NEVER THOUGHT I'D SAY THIS

BUT I'M SICK OF SEEING MY BEAUTIFUL FACE PLASTERED ALL OVER THE WALLS!

TAKE PICTURES OF SOMEONE ELSE!

( grunts )

RIGHTY-OH!

NOW, WHERE'S HARVEY?

HARVEY? HARVEY?!

HARVEY! HARVEY! HARVEY!

HARVEY?

OH, OOH, THERE YOU ARE.

THERE YOU ARE, MY LITTLE DUCKY-WUCKY... ( kissing )

OH, HOW I LOVE YOU... ( kissing )

( gasps ) WHAT WAS THAT?

COME ON, DOG. READY TO GO?

YOU BETCHA!

( humming... )

YEAH, SPARKLE, BABY...

CHEESE, MORE CHEESE!

HAVE YOU SEEN MY MEAN BOB SPACESHIP?

NOPE. HAVE YOU SEEN MY MEAN BOB RACE CAR?

UH-UH.

( both gasp, growl )

( panting, humming to music on TV... )

I'M FEELING THE BURN, BABY!

( humming... )

( yelling... )

OOH... AHH!

( Rancid laughing )

CHEER UP, SENIOR CITIZENS.

THE CANDY APPLE CLOWN IS HERE.

( laughing... )

( camera clicking... )

COME HERE, LITTLE MOOSEY

AND LET ME GET A GANDER AT YOUR MOOSE CHOPPERS.

Cliff ( muffled ): SOMEDAY

THIS WILL ALL BE WORTH IT.

TIGHTEN THIS HERE...

UH... EEE...

Lube: UH... HEY!

( Shriek snoring )

HEY!

( grunts )

( snoring )

DEVELOPING TIME.

FIRST, EXPOSE THE NEGATIVE.

THEN PUT IT IN THE DEVELOPING SOLUTION...

TA-DA!

HEY, CAT, COME ON INTO THE DARKROOM.

OOPS, GOT TO REMEMBER TO KEEP THE DARKROOM DARK.

FIRST, EXPOSE THE NEGATIVE...

WELL, DOG, TONIGHT'S THE BIG OPENING OF YOUR PHOTO EXHIBIT.

I KNEW YOU'D "CLICK" WITH PHOTOGRAPHY. ( laughs )

( laughing )

YEAH, THAT'S A GOOD ONE, CAT.

COME ON, I CAN'T WAIT TO TAKE PICTURE OF PEOPLE'S REACTIONS TO MY ARTWORK.

LET'S GO!

( Cat laughs )

OH, THIS ONE'S GREAT!

LOOK AT WINSLOW!

( laughing )

OH, OR THIS ONE, THIS ONE... ( laughing )

EDDIE LOOKS RIDICULOUS!

AND LOOK, LOLA, SHE'S KISSING A MOOSE!

I LOVE THIS! LOOK AT THIS!

( laughing ) THAT'S GREAT!

THAT'S HILARIOUS! OH, DOG, DOG... ( laughing )

YES, I USED THE HEAVY SHADOWS TO INCREASE THE INTENSITY.

OH, MY GOSH, LOOK AT RANDOLPH, LOOK AT RANDOLPH!

HE'S A CUE BALL, HE'S A CUE BALL!

( laughs )

Dog: HERE I WAS TRYING TO USE THE NEGATIVE SPACE

TO SUGGEST THE ETERNAL STRUGGLE.

( laughing ): AND THE GREASERS!

OH, NO, OH, LOOK AT THIS!

LOOK AT THE GREASERS, LOOK...

OH, OH, OH... GET A LOAD OF CLIFF'S RETAINER!

I CAN'T TAKE IT! ( laughs )

WHAT THE HECK IS THIS?

Dog: I REALLY GOT BEHIND THE CAT MASK HERE TO WHAT MAKES YOU TICK.

DON'T YOU THINK?

( growling )

TAKE IT DOWN.

WHY?

BECAUSE I LOOK RIDICULOUS.

THAT'S WHY.

EVERYONE WILL LAUGH AT ME!

CHICKS ARE GOING TO BE HERE, FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE.

BUT CAT, THAT'S HOW YOU LOOK.

IT'S YOUR TRUE NATURE.

IF YOU LEAVE THAT PICTURE UP, I'LL SHOW YOU MY TRUE NATURE!

DON'T WORRY, CAT.

EVERYONE'S GOING TO LOVE THE PICTURES, YOU'LL SEE.

Cliff: HEY, CHECK OUT THE CAT! ( laughing )

( all laughing )

HE LOOKS EVEN DOOFIER THAN NORMAL. ( laughs )

UH, DUH, YEAH, DUH, WHAT A DOPE. ( laughs )

( whimpers )

( all laughing... )

DID YOU SEE CLIFF IN THAT RETAINER?

YEAH. ( laughs )

HEY...

THAT'S YOU WITH MY RACE CAR, YOU THIEF!

YEAH, WELL, LOOK WHO STOLE MY SPACESHIP!

( growls )

BEAUTIFUL! THE PASSION!

( both growl )

WHERE DID THAT COME FROM?!

I DEMAND THIS PICTURE BE REMOVED POST HASTY!

WORK WITH ME, WINSLOW!

HEY, WHAT THE...?!

SOMEBODY'S GOING TO GET POUNDED!

DUH, I LOOK STUPID.

( laughs )

SASSY... SASSY...

WHOA... NOT TOO SASSY...

THIS... THIS IS OUTRAGEOUS!

THIS PICTURE IS HUMILIATING!

I DON'T LOVE IT!

( laughs )

I DIDN'T KNOW YOU HELPED WITH THE ELDERLY.

YOU OLD SOFTY.

WHAT, WHAT, WHAT?! I'M NO SOFTY!

I BRING THEM CANDY APPLES ONE WEEK...

NEXT WEEK I SELL THEM NEW DENTURES-- WHAT A SCAM.

FOR A RABBIT, YOU'RE A BIG...

WHAT THE...?

I NEVER KISSED A MOOSE IN MY LIFE!

OKAY, WELL, ONCE, BUT IT WAS IN THE SCHOOL PLAY.

YOU LIED!

YOU LIED FIRST!

THIS IS AN OUTRAGE!

UNBELIEVABLE! WHAT PASSION!

YOU WANT PASSION?!

I'LL PASSIONATELY POUND YOU!

ME, TOO!

I MIGHT DO A LITTLE POUNDING MYSELF.

HEY, WHAT'S EVERYONE SO MAD ABOUT?

IT'S JUST ART.

( whimpering )

( grunts )

OH, NO!

EVERYONE IS FURIOUS AND IT'S ALL MY FAULT.

OH, WHAT HAVE I DONE?

DOG, THESE PICTURES ARE FABULOUS!

I WANT TO PUBLISH YOU.

IMAGINE-- A BOOK OF PHOTOGRAPHS OF PEOPLE

AND THE HUMILIATING THINGS THEY DO.

WE'LL MAKE MILLIONS!

SORRY, MISTER, THIS WHOLE THING IS A HUGE MISTAKE.

I THOUGHT MY PICTURES WOULD BRING YOU JOY

BUT THEY HAVE ONLY MADE YOU MISERABLE.

I PROMISE I'LL NEVER TAKE ANOTHER PHOTOGRAPH AS LONG AS I LIVE.

DID HE SAY MILLIONS?

I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO BE IN A BOOK.

UH, I CAN'T FIT IN A BOOK.

OH, THIS IS FANTASTIC!

WE'LL BE WORLD-RENOWNED!

HEY, IF DANCING AROUND IN MY TIGHTY-WIGHTIES

IS ALL IT TAKES TO BE FAMOUS

THEN I'M IN!

I DON'T BELIEVE THIS.

WE'LL NEED MORE PICTURES, DOG.

ARE YOU UP FOR IT?

I, UH, GUESS SO.

YEAH, AND I GOT A BALLET OUTFIT THAT MAKES ME LOOK RIDICULOUS.

YOU SHOULD SEE ME IN MY FOOTY PAJAMAS!

UH, YOU SEE ME IN HER FOOTY PAJAMAS. ( laughs )

GRAB YOUR CAMERA

AND GET A LOAD OF THIS!

TA-DA!

OKAY, SNAP, SNAP...

FLASH, FLASH!

THERE YOU GO, POSE!

YEAH, YEAH, LET THE CAMERA DO THE WORK!

YEAH, THE CAMERA LOVES YOU!

HEY, GET A LOAD OF THIS!

GET OUT OF MY WAY!

DO I HAVE ANYTHING IN MY TEETH?

I'M MUCH MORE HUMILIATING THAN THEM.

DUH, LOOKY, LOOKY WHAT I CAN DO!

UH, RIGHT OVER HERE!

KEEP YOUR CAMERA ON THE MONEY.

RIGHT HERE... ME! ME!

CHEESE, CHEESE...

CHEESE...

♪ ONE FINE DAY WITH A WOOF AND A PURR ♪

♪ A BABY WAS BORN AND IT CAUSED A LITTLE STIR ♪

♪ NO BLUE BUG AND NO THREE-EYED FROG ♪

♪ JUST A FELINE, CANINE, LITTLE CATDOG ♪

♪ CATDOG... CATDOG... ♪

♪ ALONE IN THE WORLD WAS A LITTLE CATDOG ♪

♪ OUT ON THE ROAD OR BACK IN TOWN ♪

♪ ALL KIND OF CRITTERS PUTTING CATDOG DOWN ♪

♪ GOT TO RISE ABOVE IT, GOT TO TRY TO GET ALONG ♪

♪ GOT TO WALK TOGETHER, GOT TO SING THIS SONG ♪

♪ CATDOG... CATDOG... ♪

♪ ALONE IN THE WORLD WAS A LITTLE CATDOG... ♪

[Captioning sponsored by THE U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION

and NICKELODEON]

♪ ALONE IN THE WORLD WAS A LITTLE CATDOG. ♪

[Captioned byThe Caption Center WGBH Educational Foundation]