Original subtitles

♪ ONE FINE DAY WITH A WOOF AND A PURR ♪

♪ A BABY WAS BORN AND IT CAUSED A LITTLE STIR ♪

♪ NO BLUE BUG AND NO THREE-EYED FROG ♪

♪ JUST A FELINE, CANINE, LITTLE CATDOG ♪

♪ CATDOG... CATDOG...

♪ ALONE IN THE WORLD WAS A LITTLE CATDOG ♪

♪ OUT ON THE ROAD OR BACK IN TOWN ♪

♪ ALL KIND OF CRITTERS PUTTING CATDOG DOWN ♪

♪ GOT TO RISE ABOVE IT, GOT TO TRY TO GET ALONG ♪

♪ GOT TO WALK TOGETHER, GOT TO SING THIS SONG ♪

♪ CATDOG... CATDOG...

♪ ALONE IN THE WORLD WAS A LITTLE CATDOG ♪

♪ CATDOG... CATDOG...

♪ ALONE IN THE WORLD WAS A LITTLE CATDOG. ♪

[Captioning sponsored by THE U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION

and NICKELODEON]

Dog: ♪ YUM, YUM, YUM...

( smacking lips )

( humming and slurping... )

( yawns )

HMM... AY...!

WHAT IS IT, BOY?

SOMEONE'S COMING.

INTRUDERS?

SHOULD I GET THE MUSKET?

NO.... ( sniffing )

NO, IT'S, IT'S... ( sniffing )

IT'S THE PAPER BOY!

UH-OH....

Dog: PAPER BOY, PAPER BOY!

OH, NO, OH, NO... NOT THAT CRAZY DOG AGAIN.

OH, MAN... OH, MAN, LEAVE ME ALONE!

GET AWAY!

( barking... )

YOU CAN'T KEEP DOING THIS... PLEASE!

LET ME ALONE, I'M JUST TRYING TO MAKE AN HONEST BUCK.

SEE? HE'S TRYING TO MAKE AN HONEST BUCK. YOU'RE SCARING HIM.

( barking... )

DOG, PLEASE STOP.

HE'S NOT ALWAYS LIKE THIS.

I'M SORRY!

( barking continues )

OH, MAN, THAT'S IT! I QUIT!

( barking... )

( panting... )

( barking... )

( Dog mumbling... )

( sighs ) YOU KNOW, DOG...

EVERY TIME YOU CHASE THE PAPER BOY...

I DON'T GET THE PAPER.

AND WHEN I DON'T GET THE PAPER

IT'S LIKE THE WHOLE DAY NEVER HAPPENED.

COME ON, CRABBY, IT'S JUST SOME HARMLESS FUN.

WELL, YOUR HARMLESS FUN

COST ME ONE DAY, AND NOW I'LL NEVER GET IT BACK.

HI, RANCID RABBIT

NEARBURG NEWS DISTRICT SUPERVISOR.

YES...?

YOUR DOG HERE HAS SCARED AWAY

FOUR PAPER BOYS IN THE LAST MONTH.

NO ONE WANTS TO TAKE THIS ROUTE.

OH, SORRY, SIR, HE'S, UH... HE'S VERY HARD TO TRAIN.

THEREFORE, I INVOKE FEDERAL STATUTE

6-STROKE-B, ARTICLE-DASH-37

DASH-A-DOT-20.

"STROKE-B?"

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

CONGRATULATIONS.

YOU WORK FOR TIPS.

WOWIE CABOODLES, THAT SOUNDS LIKE FUN.

YEAH, YOU KNOW, THOSE TIPS REALLY ADD UP AROUND CHRISTMAS.

OKAY, DOG, WE'LL START ON ELM AND WORK OUR WAY SOUTH TO OLD LADY LUDWIG'S HOUSE.

READY?

READY.

( bicycle wheels squeaking... )

Cat: IT'S... SHOWTIME!

OH, GREAT THROW, DOG!

( laughs ) WE WERE BORN FOR THIS.

( dog barking )

DON'T GET TOO CLOSE, DOG.

HE LOOKS MEAN.

DON'T WORRY, CAT.

WE SPEAK THE SAME LANGUAGE.

( barking )

HEY, BUDDY.

( growling... )

( snarling )

CALM DOWN, PAL.

YOU'RE MAKING A BIG MISTAKE.

I'M A DOG, TOO.

NOT NO MORE, YOU'RE NOT.

ONCE YOU PUT ON THAT HAT

YOU'RE A PAPER BOY.

HOW DARE YOU CALL ME THAT!

FACE IT.

YOU'RE A PAPER BOY, PAPER BOY.

AND YOU'RE FAIR GAME.

( Cat panting )

WHEELS DON'T FAIL ME NOW.

Dog: THIS IS CRAZY.

I'M NOT A PAPER BOY.

I'M A PAPER DOG.

( barking and howling )

NO... NO, I'M A DOG.

WOOF, WOOF... SEE?

( panting )

TA-DA!

( barking )

( grunts )

( gasps )

WATCH OUT, RAMP!

( both yelling... )

( crash )

HOLD UP, THIS AIN'T OUR TURF NO MORE.

IT'S OFF LIMITS.

( all snarling )

DARN ZONING LAWS.

THEY STOPPED.

GOOD.

WE ONLY HAVE OLD LADY LUDWIG'S HOUSE AND THEN WE'RE DONE.

COME ON.

( crash )

( Cat and Dog whimpering )

HEY, CATDOG'S THE NEW PAPER BOY.

UM, PAPER DOG.

I EXPECT IT FROM CAT, BUT I'VE NEVER SEEN A DOG SINK THIS LOW.

YEAH, NEXT THING YOU KNOW

YOU'LL STOP DRINKING OUT OF THE TOILET.

DUH, I LIKE IT WHEN IT'S BLUE.

EXTRA, EXTRA!

WHAT'S BLACK AND WHITE AND ABOUT TO BE RED ALL OVER?

PLEASE TELL ME IT'S A PENGUIN WITH LIPSTICK.

NO, IT'S YOU.

( all laughing )

( beeping )

WHOA...

( yelling... )

GET HIM, HE WENT THAT WAY!

HEY, COME ON!

( yelling )

( snarling )

( barking and yelling... )

( Cat and Dog panting... )

I DO NOT LIKE BEING CHASED BY MY OWN KIND, CAT.

I QUIT!

WELL, I DON'T LIKE BEING CHASED BY YOUR KIND, EITHER...

AND YOU CAN'T QUIT!

COME ON, CAT, IT'S NOT WORTH IT, NO MATTER HOW GOOD THE TIPS ARE.

IT'S NOT ABOUT THE MONEY, DOG, NOT ANYMORE.

IT'S ABOUT THE PAPER.

WE NEVER DELIVERED THIS PAPER TO OLD LADY LUDWIG

AND IF SHE'S LIKE ME, A MISSED PAPER IS LIKE A LOST DAY.

SO, THANKS TO US, THAT SWEET OLD DAME JUST MISSED TODAY COMPLETELY.

SHE DID?

YOU'RE DARN RIGHT.

AND SHE'S OLD, DOG.

SHE DOESN'T HAVE A LOT OF DAYS TO PLAY WITH.

( whimpering )

OH, SHE DOESN'T?

SO WE'VE GOT TO GO BACK OUT THERE TOMORROW

AND BRING TODAY, WHICH WILL BE TOMORROW

TO ALL THE LITTLE OLD LADY LUDWIGS OUT THERE!

YES, YOU ARE RIGHT!

YOU ARE RIGHT!

BUT WHAT ABOUT ALL THOSE TOUGH DOGS?

HMM...

( snickers )

YOU THINK THEY'RE TOUGH? HA!

THEY AIN'T SEEN NOTHING YET.

ARE YOU WITH ME, DOGGIE?

WHERE ELSE AM I GOING TO GO?

LET'S DO IT!

THIS DOG IS A PAPER BOY DOG.

ALL RIGHT... READY?

READY.

( Cat chuckles )

AIM.

AIMED.

FIRE!

OH, NASTY DOG, IT'S US-- THE PAPER CATDOG!

( barking )

Cat: NOW, DOG.

CONSIDER THAT A FREE ATTITUDE ADJUSTMENT.

( dogs barking )

LET'S BLOW.

HI-HO DIGGITY!

( snarling and yelling )

YOU'RE ON, DOG!

Cat: OOH, NICE GROUPING.

( barking... )

( engine sputters, stops )

UM... CAT?

WHAT, DOG?

I THINK WE'RE FALLING!

( screaming )

NICE WATER LANDING.

WATER! ( gasps )

( growling )

( gasps )

WHAT'LL WE DO NOW, CAT?

WE STAND AND FIGHT, LIKE PAPER BOYS.

( snarling )

BACK! BACK I TELL YOU!

Dog: DOWN, CUJO, DOWN, DOWN.

( growling )

All: HUH?

( whimpering )

WOW... AND I THOUGHT CATS HATED WATER.

Cliff: WELL, WELL, WELL.

WHAT AN UNEXPECTED PLEAJOUR.

I THOUGHT WE TAUGHT YOU A LESSON

LAST TIME, PAPER POOCH.

( laughs )

DUH, POOP IS FUNNY. DUH.

LISTEN UP!

MAYBE YOU CAN PUSH CATDOG AROUND

BUT NOBODY MESSES WITH THE NEARBURG NEWS.

DOG...

( martial arts yells... )

THOSE GUYS IS POOPY, I MEAN LOOPY.

( all laughing )

POOPY-LOOPY...

( laughing )

LOOPY-POOPY...

( garbage truck beeping )

HEY! WHOA....

( all yelling... )

WHOA...!

( laughing and cheering )

OH, YEAH, OH, YEAH!

IT WORKED.

BYE-BYE.

WE DID IT, DOG.

WE RAN THE GAUNTLET

AND DELIVERED ALL THE PAPERS.

ALL EXCEPT OLD LADY LUDWIG'S.

WOULD YOU DO THE HONORS?

WE HAVE YOUR PAPER, OLD LADY LUDWIG.

LEAVE ME ALONE ALREADY!

I CANCELED THIS STUPID SUBSCRIPTION WEEKS AGO!

PRINT IS DEAD.

WAKE UP, LOSERS.

IT'S ALL ABOUT SATELLITES NOW.

DOES THIS MEAN NO TIP?

COME ON, CAT.

I HAVE LEARNED A VALUABLE LESSON.

I WILL NEVER CHASE ANOTHER PAPER BOY.

WHY, DOG, I'M VERY PROUD OF YOU.

THAT'S A VERY MATURE DECISION.

WHY CHASE PAPER BOYS WHEN THERE ARE SO MANY MAILMEN TO CHASE?

HMM? ( screams )

HI-HO DIGGITY!

( barking )

( yelling )

( yelling and barking... )

( thunder rumbling... )

LET'S SEE...

BILLS... CHAIN LETTER... COUPONS...

WE JUST WON $10 MILLION... MORE BILLS...

NO ONE RESPONDED TO THIS YEAR'S CATDOG MAILER?

OH, SAME AS EVERY YEAR.

"ARE YOU A CATDOG SEARCHING FOR SOMEONE LIKE YOU? WELL, THAT MAKES FOUR OF US.

"COME VISIT AND SHARE. SHOW US WE'RE NOT ALL ALONE."

( knock at door )

( barking and yowling )

HMM.

HIYA, BOYS.

OH!

Cat: I... I DON'T BELIEVE IT.

WE GOT YOUR MAILER.

DID WE WIN THE $10 MILLION?

NO, NO, NO, DOG-- MY CATDOG MAILER.

( tearfully ): DOG, WE'VE FOUND A KINDRED SPIRIT!

WOW! HI, THERE...

( sniffing )

( growls )

WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOU, DOG?

WE'VE FINALLY FOUND ANOTHER CATDOG.

I DON'T KNOW, CAT.

( sniffing )

THEY DON'T SMELL RIGHT.

OH, PLEASE, PAY NO ATTENTION TO DOG.

COME IN, COME IN, COME IN.

THAT'S MIGHTY CHEEK OF YOU.

I'M DAN AND THIS IS STAN.

WE'RE DANSTAN.

IT'S A MIRACLE.

IS THAT HOT CHOCOLATE?

OH, WHERE ARE MY MANNERS?

( slurping )

MMM, COCOA-Y.

MY COCOA.

HUSH, DOG.

WE MUST BE HOSPITABLE TO OUR GUESTS.

WHAT CAN WE DO FOR YOU?

WE'RE HERE TO, UH...

"VISIT AND SHARE..."

AND TO SHOW YOU YOU'RE NOT ALONE.

ANYTHING TO EAT?

EXCUSE ME.

( dishes clattering )

THERE WE GO.

Cat: POOR DEARS.

WELL, YOU'LL STAY HERE TONIGHT.

COME ALONG, DOG.

WE'LL GET MORE ACQUAINTED

WITH DANSTAN IN THE MORNING.

ISN'T IT AMAZING, DOG?

WE'VE FINALLY FOUND SOMEONE WHO CAN UNDERSTAND US.

IMAGINE ALL WE COULD SHARE.

THEY DON'T SEEM TOO INTERESTED IN SHARING.

NOW, DOG, I WANT YOU TO BE NICE TO DANSTAN.

THEY'RE A COUPLE OF GOODHEARTED FELLOWS, JUST LIKE US.

IS THE COAST CLEAR?

ALL CLEAR.

GOOD, THIS THING'S KILLING MY BACK.

YOU KNOW, I DON'T KNOW HOW THAT CATDOG CAN STAND IT.

YEAH, BUT IT'S WORTH IT.

A WARM PLACE TO SLEEP, ALL THE FOOD WE CAN EAT.

IS THIS A BEAUTIFUL SCAM OR IS THIS A BEAUTIFUL SCAM?

I'D HAVE TO GO WITH BEAUTIFUL SCAM.

GOOD NIGHT, DAN.

GOOD NIGHT, STAN.

DEEP DISH APPLE PANCAKE TIME, DANSTAN!

( grunting and yelling )

HEY, DOG, TELL THOSE SLEEPYHEADS THAT BREAKFAST IS READY.

BREAKFAST IS READY, SLEEPYHEADS.

( gasp )

WHAT IS THAT?

QUIT EYEBALLING ME, POOCH.

I MEAN, HOW'S ABOUT A LITTLE PRIVACY?

SORRY, DAN.

BUT CAT

I THOUGHT I SAW SOMETHING WEIRD.

THERE IS NOTHING WEIRD ABOUT A NAKED CATDOG, DOG--

NO MATTER WHAT THE KIDS IN GYM CLASS SAID.

( gobbling and munching )

PANCAKEY CAKES...

WHAT THE?

I MUST NEED GLASSES...

I'M SEEING QUADRUPLE.

HEH, WHAT AM I, NUTS?

WHAT DO YOU SAY WE TAKE YOUR BEDROOM TONIGHT?

THAT SOFA'S GOT A SPRING DIGGING RIGHT INTO THE OLD LAKESHORE DRIVE

IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.

NOT A CLUE.

OUR ROOM IS YOUR ROOM, FELLOW CATDOG.

SO, UH... WHEN CAN WE SHARE OUR THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS?

YOU MUST BE DYING TO TALK ABOUT WHAT IT'S LIKE

TO BE A CATDOG.

UH, OH, YEAH, ABSOLUTELY.

BUT FIRST, ME AND DAN GOT TO VISIT THE LITTLE CATDOG'S ROOM.

CAT, DON'T YOU THINK THERE'S SOMETHING STRANGE ABOUT DANSTAN?

LET'S GET TO KNOW DANSTAN.

I'M SURE YOU'LL LOVE THEM.

( Stan barking )

HA-HA! GOOD CATCH, STAN.

IT'S AMAZING.

YOU DROOL ALL OVER THE BALL JUST LIKE DOG.

I DROOL SO MUCH BETTER THAN HIM, IT AIN'T EVEN FUNNY.

HEY, BE A DOG ON YOUR OWN TIME.

THIS COSTUME AIN'T MADE FOR HIGH-SPEED HIJINKS.

MY TURN.

( barking... )

( Cat yelling )

( thud )

COME ON.

WE GOT TO CASE THE JOINT

FOR MERCHANDISE.

( Cat groaning )

GOOD THROW, DAN!

DAN?

PRETTY SOON, THESE CHUMPS WON'T HAVE ANYTHING LEFT FOR US TO SCAM.

AND THAT'S WHEN WE'LL SCRAM.

OOH... BUT NOT BEFORE STEALING THIS.

BINGO!

SOLID GOLD.

OH, I THOUGHT IT WAS MILK CHOCOLATE.

( growling... )

NICE TROPHY.

SAY THERE, JACK AND JILL

WHO'S UP FOR SOME LOBSTER AND CORN ON THE COB?

UM, ISN'T THAT EXPENSIVE?

WE'LL SPLIT IT.

YOU SPRING FOR THE LOBSTER

AND WE'LL TAKE CARE OF THE CORN.

MM-HMM...

( chuckles )

AND, AND SOMETIMES HE EATS TACOS

AND I GET THE... YOU KNOW.

IS IT, LIKE, THAT WAY WITH YOU GUYS, TOO, OR WHAT?

UM... YEAH.

( sniffing )

SAY...

THIS GRUB SMELLS GOOD.

IT BETTER-- IT COST EVERY CENT WE HAVE.

HEAR THAT, POODLE BOY?

WHEN THE PENNIES ARE GONE, SO ARE WE.

RIGHTY-OH.

TONIGHT WE TAKE THE TROPHY AND VAMOOSE.

( loud belch )

Dan: A SQUARE MEAL FROM A COUPLE OF SQUARE EGGS.

GOOD NIGHT, DOCTORS.

OKAY, BUT WE'RE REALLY GOING TO TALK TOMORROW, RIGHT, DAN?

YOU GOT IT, JIGGLE JIBS.

COME ON, STAN.

THIS ONE ALWAYS WANTS TO TALK.

HE'S WORSE THAN MY MOTHER-IN-LAW.

I'M TELLING YOU, CAT

THERE'S SOMETHING FISHY ABOUT THOSE TWO FISH.

WE JUST ATE LOBSTER.

THERE'S SOMETHING FISHY ABOUT THE WHOLE HOUSE!

I DON'T WANT TO HEAR ANOTHER WORD AGAINST DANSTAN. GO TO SLEEP.

( snoring... )

SHH...

( crashing )

( grunt, groan )

( snoring )

( alarm blaring... )

( alarm stops )

( snoring )

WHA... WHAT HAPPENED?

HOWDY, BOYS!

UH, DIDN'T WANT TO WAKE YOU.

WE'RE, UM, UH... LATE FOR A DENTIST'S APPOINTMENT.

AT 4:00 IN THE MORNING?

UH... HE LIKES TO DRILL BY MOONLIGHT.

OKAY.

BEFORE YOU GO

I'D LIKE TO SHARIFY ONE EXPERIENCE WITH YOU

VIS-A-VISY-VIS... WHAT WITH OUR ALL BEING CATDOGS AND ALL.

HUH?

AGAIN WITH THE SHARING.

WHAT ARE YOU UP TO, DOG?

I DON'T THINK

THEY'RE A REAL CATDOG.

IF YOU'RE NOT GOING TO LISTEN, THEN WATCH.

( truck engine )HEY, STAN, DO YOU HEAR WHAT I HEAR?

UH-OH.

WHAT IS IT?

OH, YEAH.

COME ON, DOGGIE.

LET'S DO WHAT US DOGGIES DO DO.

DOG, DON'T.

WHAT... WHAT'S GOING ON?

HERE IT COMES A-RUMBLING.

AND A-STUM-STUM- STUMBLING.

Dan: WHAT ARE YOU TWO FLAPJACKS BABBLING ABOUT?

Both: GARBAGE TRUCK!

HERE WE GO, AGAIN, HUH, DAN?

WHAT, WHERE ARE WE GOING? WHOA!

Both: OW... OOH... OW...

Dog: GARBAGE, GARBAGE, GARBAGE, GARBAGE...

LET'S SEE YOU DO THAT, STANNY.

NO PROBLEM.

TA-DA!

AND NOW, FOR MY PIZZA RESISTANCE.

OH, DOG, JUST WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO PROVE...?!

( Dog barking... )

GOOD MOVE, STAN.

LET'S SKEDADDLE ON OUT OF HERE IN ONE PIECE.

OH, COME ON, STAN.

A REAL CATDOG CAN MAKE THAT JUMP, NO PROBLEM.

HE'S CALLING OUT OUR CATDOGHOOD!

THAT'S OKAY, GENIUS, WE'RE NOT A REAL CATDOG.

SAYS YOU!

( Dan screaming... )

( both screaming )

( both screaming... )

I DON'T BELIEVE IT.

YOU WERE RIGHT, DOG.

THEY WEREN'T A REAL CATDOG.

I GUESS THAT MEANS WE'RE ALL ALONE AGAIN, CAT. SORRY.

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

WE'LL NEVER BE ALONE

BECAUSE WE'LL ALWAYS BE RIGHT BEHIND EACH OTHER.

RIGHT, PALLY?

ABSOLUTELY, MUG.

YOU REALLY SHOWED DANSTAN, DOG.

I THINK THEIR SCAMMING DAYS ARE OVER.

Cliff: I'LL SHOW YOU SOME ARM WRESTLING!

( grunting )

OH!

( clears throat )

I HEAR YOU'RE LOOKING FOR NEW MEMBERS.

COME TO THINK OF IT

WE COULD USE A FOURTH FOR BRIDGE.

WELL, COUNT ME IN.

BUT FIRST, I'M GOING TO NEED A COUPLE OF STEAKS.

( slap )

( whispering )

MAKE THEM T-BONES.

YOU GOT IT... HANDSOME.

HEY... THANKS, ANGEL FACE.

( gobbling, munching, belching )

All: HUH?

Dan: MAN... ( laughs )

THIS IS ONE STUPID TOWN.

( punch )

( both groaning... )

♪ ONE FINE DAY WITH A WOOF AND A PURR ♪

♪ A BABY WAS BORN AND IT CAUSED A LITTLE STIR ♪

♪ NO BLUE BUG AND NO THREE-EYED FROG ♪

♪ JUST A FELINE, CANINE, LITTLE CATDOG ♪

♪ CATDOG... CATDOG...

♪ ALONE IN THE WORLD WAS A LITTLE CATDOG ♪

♪ OUT ON THE ROAD OR BACK IN TOWN ♪

♪ ALL KIND OF CRITTERS PUTTING CATDOG DOWN ♪

♪ GOT TO RISE ABOVE IT, GOT TO TRY TO GET ALONG ♪

♪ GOT TO WALK TOGETHER, GOT TO SING THIS SONG ♪

♪ CATDOG... CATDOG...

♪ ALONE IN THE WORLD WAS A LITTLE CATDOG... ♪

[Captioning sponsored by THE U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION

and NICKELODEON]

♪ ALONE IN THE WORLD WAS A LITTLE CATDOG. ♪

[Captioned byThe Caption Center WGBH Educational Foundation]