Original subtitles

♪ ONE FINE DAY WITH A WOOF AND A PURR ♪

♪ A BABY WAS BORN AND IT CAUSED A LITTLE STIR ♪

♪ NO BLUE BUG AND NO THREE-EYED FROG ♪

♪ JUST A FELINE, CANINE, LITTLE CATDOG ♪

♪ CATDOG... CATDOG...

♪ ALONE IN THE WORLD WAS A LITTLE CATDOG ♪

♪ OUT ON THE ROAD OR BACK IN TOWN ♪

♪ ALL KIND OF CRITTERS PUTTING CATDOG DOWN ♪

♪ GOT TO RISE ABOVE IT, GOT TO TRY TO GET ALONG ♪

♪ GOT TO WALK TOGETHER, GOT TO SING THIS SONG ♪

♪ CATDOG... CATDOG...

♪ ALONE IN THE WORLD WAS A LITTLE CATDOG ♪

♪ CATDOG... CATDOG...

♪ ALONE IN THE WORLD WAS A LITTLE CATDOG. ♪

[Captioning sponsored by THE U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION

and NICKELODEON]

( wind whistling )

( birds chirping )

( classical music playing )

( slurping )

AH...

AN AFTERNOON OF PURE, UNINTERRUPTED LEISURE.

DOG, THIS IS WHAT A CAT LIVES FOR.

( groans )

IF YOU SAY SO, CAT.

OH, I DO, I DO.

THE PHONE IS UNPLUGGED, SO IS THE TV, AND...

( doorbell rings, barks, meows )

THE DOOR IS STILL PLUGGED IN, HUH?

( snickers )

( imitating ): HEH-HEH-HEH.

Cliff: HEY, CATBUTT, OPEN UP.

IT'S CLIFF.

UM, UH, CLIFF, IT'S MY DAY OFF

AND DOG AND I WERE JUST RELAXING SO, WE...

NOT ANYMORE YOU AIN'T.

THIS HERE'S MY NIECE.

( coos )

( giggles )

( belches deeply )

HI, LITTLE BABY.

COOCHIE-COOCHIE-COO.

YOW!

LUBE WAS SUPPOSED TO BABY-SIT HER

BUT HE GOT HIS HEAD STUCK IN A BICYCLE.

THAT'S, THAT'S REALLY FASCINATING BUT I, UH...

I WANT YOU TO BABY-SIT HER INSTEAD.

DO ME THAT PERSONAL-TYPE FAVOR

I WON'T POUND YOU FOR A MONTH.

AND IF I REFUSE?

THEN I POUND YOU RIGHT NOW.

WELL THEN, JUST CALL ME NANNY.

HI, LITTLE NANNY.

HEY, I THINK YOUSE

ARE REALLY GOING TO HIT IT OFF.

SHE'S GOT A REAL THING FOR KITTY CATS.

KITTY CAT!

( giggling )

( gleeful yelp )

( laughing... )

BE A GOOD LITTLE GIRL

AND LET KITTY CAT GO.

( crashing ) OW!

( talking baby talk )

HERE COMES UNCLE CLIFFY.

HERE COMES UNCLE DOGGY.

HERE COMES UNCLE CATTY.

SHEESH, YOU GET THE LICENSE PLATE

ON THE ATOM BOMB THAT HIT THIS PLACE?

WE'RE BABY-SITTING CLIFF'S NIECE, WINSLOW.

YEAH?

SO, UH, WHERE IS THE LITTLE TYKE?

HUH?

( gasps )

( gasps )

SHE'S GONE!

( doorbell rings, barks, meows )

( groans )

HEY, UM, IT'S, UH...

I FORGET MY NAME.

( screams ): IT'S LUBE!

OH, YEAH.

UM, AND I COME TO TAKE OVER THE BABY-SITTING, ON ACCOUNT OF

I GOT MY HEAD UN-STUCK FROM THE BICYCLE.

OH, MY GOSH, MY GOSH.

WHEN LUBE SEES I LOST THE BABY

HE'LL TELL CLIFF.

AND I'LL BE DEAD CAT MEAT!

( snickers ) TOUGH BREAK, CAT.

SO, UH, CAN I HAVE YOUR TV?

WAIT A MINUTE.

YOU'RE JUST ABOUT THE RIGHT SIZE.

FOR WHAT?

W-WHOA!

HEY! I AIN'T PRETENDING TO BE NO...

COOCHIE-COO

LITTLE BABY.

HEY, I AIN'T NO...

I'LL GET YOU FOR THIS, CAT.

( chuckles )

SHE'S GETTING MORE LIKE CLIFF

ALL THE TIME.

( sighs heavily )

Dog: YOU'RE A GENIUS, CAT.

ALL OUR WORRIES ARE OVER.

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

WE STILL HAVE TO FIND CLIFF'S NIECE

AND SWITCH HER WITH WINSLOW

BEFORE CLIFF GETS HOME!

OH, YEAH.

CAT!

THAT INNOCENT BABY IS OUT THERE

IN THE BIG, BAD WORLD, ALL ALONE.

WE MUST FIND THE BABY

BEFORE ANY HARMS COME TO HER.

OR ME.

LET ME OUT OF HERE, YOU BIG DOPE.

UM, I THINK SOMEBODY'S CRANKY

ON ACCOUNT OF NOT EATING.

HERE, BABY.

A NICE JAR, UM...

( sniffs )

( flies buzzing )

...OF STUFF TO EAT.

WHAT, ARE YOU NUTS?

NO WAY I'M EATING KIDDY GARBAGE.

OPEN UP FOR LUBEY.

COMING IN THE GARAGE.

HUH, NOT BAD.

KIND OF TASTY, IN FACT.

KEEP IT COMING, SERVANT BOY.

( frantic sniffing )

( sniffing deeply )

GETTING CLOSER, CAT.

( horrified gasp )

( giggling )

( giggling )

( screams )

( giggling )

( riders screaming )

( giggles ) KITTY CAT.

( Catdog panting )

( frantic sniffing )

WHAT IS IT, BOY?

( giggling )

( coaxing ): WELL, HELLO THERE, LITTLE MISS.

WHY DON'T YOU WADDLE OVER HERE

AND PLAY WITH UNCLE CAT?

OOH! WHY, YOU LITTLE...

( cooing and laughing )

( growls )

( panting )

( laughing )

KITTY CAT.

( growling continues )

( stammering ): C-COME ON, BABY.

IT'S TIME TO GO.

( guard dog pounding, Cat groaning )

( groans )

( snarls )

DOG?

LEROY!

AH, LEROY... MY MAIN MAN.

GIVE ME SOME OF THAT.

Leroy: YOU STILL HANGING AROUND WITH CAT?

I'M KIDDING YOU, I'M KIDDING YOU.

Lube: AND SO THEM BEARS DID SOMETHING

AND BLONDE GIRL DID SOMETHING

AND THEY LIV-ED HAPPY FOREVER, UM, A LONG TIME.

( yawns )

TIME.

( snoring )

HEY, HEY, GETTING A LITTLE LAZY

WITH THE ROCKING, AIN'T YOU?OH, SORRY.

YEAH, WELL, SHAPE UP

OR I'LL TELL MY UNCLE CLIFFY.

NOW, LET'S HAVE A NEW STORY.

AND, WHILE WE'RE ON THE SUBJECT

( laughing )

HOW'S ABOUT FRESHENING UP MY MILK?

UH, OKAY, BABY.

PARTY'S OVER, MISSY.

( chortles )

( humming )

TERRIFIC.

( ice cream truck playing tinkly music )

( giggling )

( panting )

DOG, I DON'T THINK WE'LL EVER FIND

THAT LITTLE BUNDLE OF JOY.

CAT! LOOK!

IT'S BABY!

OH, NO, CAT.

HOW WILL WE EVER CATCH THAT SPEEDING TRUCK?

CATDOG WHEEL!

Cat: KEEP ROLLING, DOG!

( whistling )

IT'S CLIFF!

( Dog stammering )

( whistling )

WE'RE RUNNING OUT OF TIME.

WE HAVE TO FIND THE BABY

AND GET HER BACK TO CLIFF'S HOUSE

BEFORE HE GETS HOME.

CAT! LOOK!

SHE LEFT A TRAIL OF ICE CREAM WRAPPERS.

INTERESTING.

( gasps )

LITTLE MONSTER KNOCKED OVER SENOR FROSTY.

( someone moaning )

( laughing )

Cat ( whispers ): PERFECT, IT'S NAP TIME.

Winslow: HEY, WHAT'S THE BIG IDEA?

SHH! WE'RE GETTING YOU OUT OF HERE.

I DON'T WANT TO.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

I LIKE IT HERE.

I GET THREE HOTS AND A COT

THE BIG GOON TREATS ME LIKE A KING.

HE EVEN READS ME STORIES.

WELL, TOUGH KITTIES.

WE'RE GOING HOME.

WINSLOW, PLEASE.

CLIFF WILL BE BACK ANY SECOND.

OKAY, I'LL COME WITH YOU

ON ONE CONDITION.

( humming )

( gasps )

( crickets chirping )

Cat( wearily ): ♪ ROCK-A-BYE WINSLOW IN THE TREE TOP. ♪

OH, NO, NO.

I'M SICK OF THAT SONG, CAT.

HOW'S ABOUT A STORY?

AND SOME MORE STRAINED PEACHES.

AND WARM ME UP ANOTHER BOTTLE OF MILK.

Dog: YOU SURE MAKE A GOOD BABY-SITTER, CAT.

( laughter )

WHAT A GREAT YARN BALL!

MMM... WHAT A JOY IT IS TO BE A CAT.

( sighs )

DO YOU ALWAYS HAVE TO BE

SUCH A DOG?

( gobbling and gulping )

WHAT DID YOU SAY, CAT?

( horn blaring )

Calling all cats.

Join the Cat Club.

If you are a cat

you belong.

HMM...

I'M NOT GOING TO A STUPID CAT CLUB.

COME ON, DOG.

I NEED TO BE WITH MY OWN KIND

ONCE IN A WHILE.

WE'LL ONLY STAY A FEW MINUTES.

BUT IT SAYS "CATS ONLY."

NOT TO WORRY.

I DON'T WANT TO BE A CAT.

HOW DO YOU KNOW TILL YOU'VE TRIED?

YOU MIGHT LIKE IT.

OUCH.

THANK GOODNESS FOR THOSE ORIGAMI LESSONS.

( grunts )

HMM...

THAT NOSE WON'T DO.

YOU'LL PASS.

NOW JUST STICK CLOSE TO ME, AND IF ANYONE TALKS TO YOU

WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO SAY?

MEOW.

PERFECT.

WELL, GOOD EVENING, FELLOW CATS.

( chuckles )

WE'RE JUST A COUPLE OF CATS

HERE TO JOIN THE CAT CLUB.

MEOW.

HMM, I NEVER SEEN A CAT

LIKE THAT BEFORE.

HE'S A VERY RARE BREED.

HE'S A... EAST MORAVIAN... MARONI.

WELL! WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY SO?

COME ON IN!

( cats chatting and laughing )

GOOD EVENING, GENTLEMEN.

I'M FELEEN.

( chuckling )

HELLO-O-O.

MY NAME'S CAT, AND THIS IS

MY FRIEND DO... DOUG.

DOUG.

( moans ): MEOW.

CAN I GET YOU A YARN BALL?

A DRY SPOT IN THE

LITTER LOUNGE?

A TABLE IN THE MILK BAR?

HOW ABOUT A TASTY FRESH FISH JUICE?

YUCK.

TUNA? SALMON?

SUSHI?

OH, WHY, THANK YOU.

UH... DOUG.

EW... I HATE FISH.

( all gasping )

UM, HE'S KIDDING.

WHAT A FUNSTER.

HE'S A NUT!

DOG, UH, DOUG LOVES FISH.

( gulps )

I THINK I'M GOING TO BARF.

( swallows )

I WANT TO GO.

YOU SAID WE'D ONLY STAY

FOR A FEW MINUTES.

OH, YOU CAN'T GO YET.

YOU HAVEN'T SEEN YOUR UNIFORMS.

UNIFORMS?

OH, DO YOU HAVE HATS?

IS THERE A HAT?

I LOVE HATS.

BRING ON THE CHAPEAUS.

Both: ME-OW!

NOW, JOIN US IN OUR INNER SANCTUM...

THE SACRED CAVE OF CATS.

SHH!

SHHH...!

( alarm blaring )

ME-WOW.

( crowd gasping )

( crowd cheering )

♪ CATS, CATS, CATS, CATS ♪

♪ CATS, CATS, CATS, CATS ♪

♪ CATS ARE GREAT

♪ CATS ARE THE BEST

♪ COMPARED TO A DOG, THERE IS NO CONTEST ♪

♪ WE ARE THE CATS, WE HAVE COOL HATS ♪

♪ WE ARE THE CATS!

( audience cheering and exclaiming )

THAT WAS BEAUTIFUL!

I LOVE YOU GUYS.

GREETINGS, FELLOW FELINES.

PLEASE LOWER THE MASK OF UNITY.

WE WELCOME OUR TWO NEWEST MEMBERS

CAT AND DOUG.

All: HAIL CAT AND DOUG.

AND NOW, A FILM YOU WILL ALL FIND VERY ILLUMINATING.

ROLL IT, LENNY.

OH, BOY, A FREE MOVIE.

THIS IS A GREAT CLUB, CAT.

TOLD YOU SO.

Narrator: Cats, the proud

the brave

the intelligent.

Superior.

The cat, wonder of wonders.

AH...

The greatest creature on earth.

AIN'T IT THE TRUTH.

AIN'T IT THE TRUTH.

But alas, the beloved cat has an evil enemy.

the cause of all our problems...

the dog.

( audience shouting and booing )

Despicable, inferior creatures

not fit to walk this earth.

BUT NOT ANYMORE.

A NEW DAY IS DAWNING.

WE WILL ACHIEVE OUR ULTIMATE DREAM

A WORLD WITHOUT DOGS!

NO MORE DOGS!

All: NO MORE DOGS!

NO MORE DOGS!

NO MORE DOGS!

DOG-- DOUG, WHAT ARE YOU SAYING?

I'M SAYING, "NO MORE DOGS!"

Feleen: HERE IS HOW WE WILL ACHIEVE OUR DREAM:

THE DOGCATCHER XL5!

( audience gasping )

IT WILL ELIMINATE DOGS!

AND ANYONE WHO ASSOCIATES WITH DOGS!

NO MORE DOGS!

NO MORE DOGS!

NO MORE DOGS!

DOG, THIS IS A BAD CLUB.

WE'VE GOT TO GET OUT OF HERE.

THESE CATS ARE CRAZY.

NO MORE DOGS!

NO MORE DOGS!

DOG, DOG, DOG, DOG, DOG.

YOU'RE A DOG.

( siren wailing )

NO MORE DOGS...!

WAIT!

SOMEONE HERE HAS THE FOUL STENCH

OF DOG UPON THEM!

( all gasping )

( teeth chattering )

WHO HAS BEEN ASSOCIATING WITH A DOG?

OH, I KNOW, I KNOW!

PICK ME!

PICK ME! PICK ME!

DOG! DOG!

WHAT?

IT IS... HIM.

TRAITOR!

( groans )

AND WHO WAS THE DOG... DOUG?

IT WAS ME!

( crowd gasps )

DESTROY THAT CAT, AND THE DOG HE DRAGGED IN.

DESTROY THAT CAT AND THE D... OOPS.

AFTER THEM!

( cats yowling )

( cackling )

( both shriek )

WELL, DOG... WE LEARNED A VALUABLE LESSON TODAY.

( cat screeching )

DON'T JOIN A CLUB JUST 'CAUSE IT LOOKS COOL.

( another cat screeching )

RIGHT!

CAN I KEEP THE HAT?

( another cat screeching )

Crowd ( chanting ): CATDOG, CATDOG...!

NOW, REMEMBER, DOG, FOLLOW MY LEAD.

WHEN I SAY "CAT DIGGETY DOG," YOU SAY "CAT DIGG..."

OKAY!

( musical intro plays )

♪ CAT DIGGETY DOG

♪ CAT DIGGETY DOG

♪ DOG DIGGETY CAT

♪ DOG DIGGETY CAT

♪ HE WANTS TO DO THIS

♪ I WANNA DO THIS

♪ I GOTTA DO THAT

TERRIFIC.

♪ HOW COULD IT GET

♪ HOW COULD IT GET

♪ HOW COULD IT GET ANY BETTER THAN THIS? ♪

I CAN'T IMAGINE.

♪ TWO-IN-ONE BROTHERS

♪ TWO-IN-ONE BROTHERS

♪ WE NEVER FIGHT

♪ WE NEVER FIGHT

♪ EXCEPT WHEN WE YELL AND SCREAM ♪

DOG, WILL YOU WATCH...

Dog: ♪ WHEN WE SCRATCH AND BITE

Cat: ♪ HOW COULD IT GET, HOW COULD IT GET ♪

♪ HOW COULD IT GET ANY WETTER THAN THIS? ♪

CAN I GET YOU A TOWEL?

NEVER MIND.

♪ WE'RE SALT AND PEPPER

♪ WE'RE SALT AND PEPPER

Dog: ♪ WE'RE BACON AND EGGS

Cat: ♪ THAT'S SCRAMBLED EGGS

♪ MY LEGS ARE HIS ARMS

♪ HIS LEGS ARE MY ARMS

Dog: ♪ MY ARMS ARE HIS LEGS

♪ I GOTTA EAT TRASH

♪ HE HAS TO EAT TRASH

♪ HE'S GOTTA EAT WELL

♪ I TRY TO EAT WELL

♪ I EAT TILL I'M FULL

♪ HE EATS TILL I'M SICK

♪ AND, BOY, DO I SMELL

WHEW!

♪ HI-HO DIGGETY!

♪ NO-HO DIGGETY

♪ WHEN DAY IS DONE

♪ PLEASE SAY IT'S DONE ♪

Dog: ♪ YOU KNOW, TWO HEADS

♪ WHAT ABOUT TWO HEADS? ♪

♪ ARE MORE THAN ONE

STOP, STOP, STOP, STOP!

♪ CAT'S FACE DOESN'T GET ♪

♪ CAT'S FACE DOESN'T GET ♪

♪ CAT'S FACE DOESN'T GET ♪

♪ ANY REDDER THAN THIS. ♪

OH-HO, THAT'S FUNNY.

THOSE ARE NOT THE RIGHT WORDS.

♪ IT JUST DOESN'T GET, IT JUST DOESN'T GET ♪

♪ IT JUST DOESN'T GET ANY BETTER THAN THIS! ♪

Audience ( chanting ): CATDOG, CATDOG, CATDOG...!

♪ ONE FINE DAY WITH A WOOF AND A PURR ♪

♪ A BABY WAS BORN AND IT CAUSED A LITTLE STIR ♪

♪ NO BLUE BUG AND NO THREE-EYED FROG ♪

♪ JUST A FELINE, CANINE

♪ LITTLE CATDOG

♪ CATDOG... CATDOG...

♪ ALONE IN THE WORLD WAS A LITTLE CATDOG ♪

♪ OUT ON THE ROAD OR BACK IN TOWN ♪

♪ ALL KIND OF CRITTERS PUTTING CATDOG DOWN ♪

♪ GOT TO RISE ABOVE IT, GOT TO TRY TO GET ALONG ♪

♪ GOT TO WALK TOGETHER, GOT TO SING THIS SONG ♪

♪ CATDOG... CATDOG...

♪ ALONE IN THE WORLD WAS A LITTLE CATDOG... ♪

[Captioning sponsored by THE U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION

and NICKELODEON ]

♪ ALONE IN THE WORLD WAS A LITTLE CATDOG. ♪

[Captioned byThe Caption Center WGBH Educational Foundation]