Original subtitles

♪ ONE FINE DAY WITH A WOOF AND A PURR ♪

♪ A BABY WAS BORN AND IT CAUSED A LITTLE STIR ♪

♪ NO BLUE BUG AND NO THREE-EYED FROG ♪

♪ JUST A FELINE, CANINE, LITTLE CATDOG ♪

♪ CATDOG... CATDOG...

♪ ALONE IN THE WORLD WAS A LITTLE CATDOG ♪

♪ OUT ON THE ROAD OR BACK IN TOWN ♪

♪ ALL KIND OF CRITTERS PUTTING CATDOG DOWN ♪

♪ GOT TO RISE ABOVE IT, GOT TO TRY TO GET ALONG ♪

♪ GOT TO WALK TOGETHER, GOT TO SING THIS SONG ♪

♪ CATDOG... CATDOG...

♪ ALONE IN THE WORLD WAS A LITTLE CATDOG ♪

♪ CATDOG... CATDOG...

♪ ALONE IN THE WORLD WAS A LITTLE CATDOG. ♪

[Captioning sponsored by THE U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION

and NICKELODEON]

Dog: FAR OUT, ON A DISTANT PLANET

GALAXY DOG, THE SUPER SPACE HERO

SEARCHES FOR SIGNS OF EVIL ACTIVITY.

PLEASE, THIS IS JUST STUPID.

CAT, IT WAS MY TURN TO PICK THE GAME

AND I PICKED GALAXY DOG.

FINE.

OKAY, YOU MEAN OLD ALIEN

I'M TAKING YOU TO SPACE PRISON

SO YOU BETTER JUST GIVE UP.

NEVER!

( scary laugh )

CAT?

WHO'S CAT?

( growls ) I'M AN ALIEN

AND I'M GOING TO SUCK YOUR BRAINS!

OH!

OKAY, I'M DONE.

I DON'T WANT TO PLAY ANY MORE.

( howls )

( laughs )

HEY, DOG.

( howling )WAIT, DOG!

( groans )

( birds twittering )

GO AWAY, YOU EVIL, OLD ALIEN.

PLEASE, IT'S JUST ME, DOG.

AND I'M SICK OF THIS IDIOTIC GAME, OKAY?

( beeping, barking )

AHA, LOOK WHAT TIME IT IS.

DOG'S TIME IS OVER, AND CAT'S TIME HAS BEGUN.

BUT I DON'T WANT TO READ.

WELL, I DO, SO PLEASE KEEP QUIET.

( tapping )

DOG, ISN'T THERE SOMETHING YOU'D LIKE TO READ?

I KNOW!

WHAT? HOLD IT.

( crashing )

( panting )

( groans )

MMM... I'M READING THE EVIL ALIENS

WHO MOVED IN ACROSS THE STREET AND SUCKED BRAINS.

THAT SCIENCE FICTION TRASH

IS GOING TO ROT WHAT LITTLE BRAIN YOU HAVE.

( horn honking )

WHAT WAS THAT?

LOOKS LIKE WE'VE GOT SOME NEW NEIGHBORS.

( horn honks )

THAT WASN'T THERE THIS MORNING.

YEAH, THEY SURE BUILD THEM FAST THESE DAYS.

( gasps )

( electrical crackling )

CAT, I DON'T WANT TO SCARE YOU

BUT I THINK OUR NEIGHBORS ARE ALIENS.

AND I THINK I'M ATTACHED TO A NINCOMPOOP.

( whimpers )

WHAT IF THEY CAPTURE US

AND TAKE US TO THEIR PLANET?

( refrigerator door slams open )

( moans, groans )

( teeth chattering )

( yelling )

( metallic banging )

OH! OH! OH!

( rubbery squeak )

( screaming )

( gasping )

OOH... THEY'RE UGLY.

BEYOND UGLY.

LOOK AT THE STUPID ALIEN.

( gasping )

( electricity zapping )

I DON'T WANT TO BE PROBED!

YOU ARE ONE PATHETIC DOG.

NO ONE IS GETTING PROBED.

( odd clattering )

OH!... OH!

( machine thumping and banging... )

OOH...

IT'S THE BRAIN-SUCKING MACHINE.

OH, STOP READING THIS JUNK.

HEY, WHAT'S WITH THE NOISY NEIGHBORS?

WINSLOW, THEY'RE REAL, LIVE ALIENS.

THEY'RE REAL, LIVE PAINS IN THE REAR END.

I'M GOING TO GO OVER

AND GIVE THEM A PIECE OF MY MIND.

NO! THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT THEY WANT.

OH, LET HIM GO.

IF WE'RE LUCKY, THEY'LL EAT HIM.

( banging continues... )

( horrific screaming )

THEY TURNED WINSLOW BLUE.

HE'S ALWAYS BLUE.

( laughs ) I SET THOSE NEIGHBORS STRAIGHT.

THEY SUCKED OUT HIS BRAIN.

HE PROBABLY FORGOT TO PUT HIS CONTACTS IN.

GEE WHILLIKERS!

SEE?

WINSLOW NEVER, EVER SAID, "GEE WHILLIKERS" BEFORE.

IT'S NO COINCIDENCE.

HE'S A SPACE ZOMBIE.

( sputtering )

GET ME THE NEARBURG POLICE.

( snoring while man screams in background )

( rings )

NEARBURG POLICE, WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM?

WHAT, WHAT, WHAT?

HELP, ALIENS MOVED IN ACROSS THE STREET!

ALIENS?

OOH, YOU GOT SOME PROOF?

PROOF? I GOT PROOF.

THEY HAVE THE GREEN, ULTRA-DEADLY LASER BEAM

THEY SUCK OUT YOUR BRAINS

AND WINSLOW SAID, "GEE WHILLIKERS."

COULD YOU GET HERE?

YOU KNOW, MAYBE YOU SHOULD

STOP READING COMIC BOOKS.

( sighs )

NO ONE BELIEVES ME.

GO FIG.

( bell rings )

Cat: OH!

YII!

THEY'RE COMING TO GET US!

WHATEVER YOU DO, DON'T OPEN THAT DOOR.OH, JUST...

DON'T OPEN THE DOOR, DON'T OPEN THE DOOR.

DO NOT OPEN THE DOOR.

Cat: HELLO?

HELLO, NEIGHBORS.

MAY WE BORROW A CUP OF SUGAR?

( chuckles )

YOUR ALIENS WANT TO BORROW A CUP OF SUGAR.

THAT'S HOW THEY LIVE.

I'LL BE RIGHT BACK, LADIES.

WE'RE BAKING COOKIES.

YOU MUST HAVE SOME.

THANK YOU, HON.

COME VISIT US.

WELL, WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO SAY FOR YOURSELF?

WHOO-HOO!

THEY'RE ALIENS WEARING OLD LADY DISGUISES.

I GIVE UP.

I'M GOING TO BED.

I HOPE I DON'T HAVE A BAD DREAM ABOUT ALIENS.

( sighs )

I HAVE A VERY STRONG FEELING YOU WILL.

( snoring softly )

( fan creaks )

( whimpers )

( gulps )

( screaming )

SACRE BLEU!

MAMMA MIA!

OH, DASH IT ALL.

( aliens laughing )

Alien: THE WORLD IS OURS!

( Dog screaming )

( gasps )

DOG, WHAT ARE YOU...

Dog: LET ME GO!

Cat: WILL YOU STOP IT?

( shrieks )

( grunts )

( wheezing )

THE EVIL SPACE GRANNIES ARE TAKING OVER THE WORLD.

OKAY.

THAT'S IT!

I'M GOING TO MARCH YOU RIGHT OVER THERE

AND SHOW YOU THAT THOSE GRANNIES

ARE JUST GRANNIES.

NO! DON'T TAKE ME TO THE GRANNIES!

OF ALL THE CRAZY, STUPID IDEAS.

CAT: I'M GOING TO SHOW YOU

THOSE COMIC BOOKS ARE NOT REAL.

WILL YOU JUST...

( Cat sputters )

YOU'RE TRYING TO MAKE ME SEE THE GRANNIES.

I DON'T WANT TO BE A SPACE ZOMBIE.

WHOA!

OH!

HELLO, KITTY-DOGGIE.

COME IN.

( sputtering )

I WOULDN'T LOVE TO. WE'D LOVE TO.

I DON'T WANT TO GO.

WE'RE COMING IN... NOW.

( sobbing )

SHH.

UM... ( laughs )

SORRY TO BOTHER YOU

BUT, UM, WOULD YOU PLEASE

TELL MY CANINE FRIEND THAT...

THE DEATH RAY!

( water bubbling )

NICE AQUARIUM!

MM-HMM.

( odd banging and thumping )

THE BRAIN-SUCKING MACHINERY!

LET ME TURN OFF THAT OLD WASHING MACHINE.

IT'S SO NOISY-POISY.

AND I'LL GET US SOME DRINKS.

WELL?

DOES SOMEONE HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY?

UM... WELL...

MAYBE THEY'RE NOT SPACE ALIENS WHO WANT TO SUCK OUR BRAINS

AND KIDNAP US AND PROBE US WITH PROBEY-TYPE THINGS.

WHO WANTS A COOKIE?

I DON'T EVER WANT TO HEAR ANOTHER WORD FROM YOU

ABOUT ALIENS EVER!

PROMISE?

OKAY, I PROMISE.

( snoring )

Male alien: RETRIEVE THE MASTER PLANS.

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED, COMMANDERS.

EXCELLENT.

COMMENCE THE INVASION OF EARTH.

( screaming )

HELP.

WHAT?

THE HOUSE AND THE COOKIES AND THE GRANNIES AND THE...

NEVER MIND.

Next up on Really Incredible People

Rancid Rabbit interviews

a really incredible person.

( tires squealing )

( applause )

OH, MY GOSH.

IT'S THE INGRID TWINS.

HEY, GET OUT OF THE ROAD, 'CAUSE HERE I COME.

WHOO! VROOM, VROOM, VROOM, VROOM!

DRIVE, DRIVE, DRIVE, DRIVE...

DOG, DOG, DOG, DOG!

DO YOU MIND?

I'M TRYING TO GET A DATE WITH THE TWINS.

NOW, IF YOU PLAY IT COOL, I'LL INVITE YOU ALONG, TOO.

OKAY.

( squeaky honking )

Rancid: Welcome to Really Incredible People.

In today's installment

we interview Brock Lang, airplane pilot extraordinaire.

( suavely ): SO, MY TWO INGRIDS

WOULD YOU LOVELY LADIES LIKE TO JOIN ME

FOR A NIGHT ON THE TOWN?

Dog: OH, YEAH.

( squeaky honking )

VROOM, VROOM, VROOM.

SHIFT, SHIFT, SHIFT!

( laughs nervously )

SORRY, CATSIE.

WE'RE GOING OUT WITH BROCK LANG.

JA, HE'S ON TV.

BUT THAT'S NOT FAIR.

YOU TWO ALWAYS GO OUT WITH THE GUYS ON TV.

NO, MOVIES TOO.

BYE-BYE.

If you know someone really incredible like Brock

give us a call.

THAT'S IT!

CAT...

OH, NO.

( grunting )

YEAH, YEAH, I GOT SOMEONE REALLY INCREDIBLE

YOU SHOULD INTERVIEW-- ME!

( yelling )

HMM... NO, THANKS.

NO, WAIT, DON'T HANG UP.

I HAVE MANY UNIQUE TALENTS.

I'M, I'M, I'M ATHLETIC

AND I CAN JUGGLE.

AND, AND I'M ALSO ATTACHED TO A DOG.

A two-headed creature. Nice.

We'll do the interview tomorrow.

DOG, WE'RE GOING TO BE ON TV!

DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS?

YEAH, TELE-VISION.

NOW, DOG, GET A GOOD NIGHT'S REST.

TOMORROW WE'LL BE SEEN

BY MILLIONS AND BILLIONS OF PEOPLE.

AND ALL THEIR EYES WILL BE ON YOU.

WOW.(snoring)

MILLIONS AND BILLIONS.

THAT SOUNDS LIKE A LOT OF EYES.

MILLIONS AND BILLIONS, HUH?

( whistles )

ALL STARING AT ME.

MILLIONS AND BILLIONS.

MILLIONS AND BILLIONS?

MILLIONS AND BILLIONS.

MANY, MANY, MANY EYES.

I'M FREAKING MYSELF OUT.

( whimpering softly )

( snoring... )

( birds chirping )

( car door closes )

AH. WAKE UP, SLEEPYHEAD.

FAME IS A-KNOCKING AT THE DOOR.

( knocking continues )

DOG?(snoring)

DOG!

( dog barking, cat meowing )

HMM...

THIS BETTER BE GOOD.

DOG, WAKE UP.

WAKE UP, I TELL YOU.

WAKE UP, BOY.

UM, COMING.

COME ON, DOG!

( horn blaring )

THEY EXPECT TO INTERVIEW BOTH OF US

AND I TOLD THE INGRIDS I'D BE ON TV TONIGHT!

( yelps )

OH, OKAY, OKAY, OKAY.

THIS SORT OF THING MUST HAPPEN ALL THE TIME.

I'M SURE I CAN DO THE INTERVIEW WITHOUT DOG, NO PROBLEM.

( yells )

BOTH OF THESE GUYS BETTER BE PERKY.

IF IT DON'T PERK, IT WON'T WORK.

( snoring, groaning... )

OKAY, GOOD.

THIS IS GOING TO WORK.

UM, COME IN.

COME IN AND, AND WELCOME TO OUR HUMBLE ABODE.

HUMBLE IS RIGHT.

YOU MUST BE CAT, AND YOU MUST BE DOG.

WELL, DOG'S A LITTLE SHY.

BUT DON'T WORRY

'CAUSE I CAN DO MOST OF THE TALKING.

HMM, SHY DOESN'T WORK ON TV.

( clears throat )

( imitating Dog ): UH, DON'T MIND CAT.

HE'S SUCH A KIDDER.

( imitates Dog's laugh )

I'M NOT SHY.

LET'S MAKE TV MAGIC.

SO, WHAT'S IT LIKE BEING A CONJOINED TWIN?

A "CATDOG"?

DOG, YOU FIRST.

WELL, UH...

( clears throat )

HMM...

FUNNY THAT YOU SHOULD ASK.

LET ME THINK ABOUT THAT, WITH MY BRAIN.

I THINK MUCH BETTER IN THIS POSITION.

OH, EXCUSE US, EXCUSE US.

YOU KNOW, OUR STOMACH HAS BEEN ACTING UP A BIT LATELY.

RIGHT, DOG?

YOU SHARE A STOMACH.

FASCINATING.

WHAT'S THAT LIKE?

MILLIONS, BILLIONS OF PEOPLE.

BILLIONS OF PEOPLE HAVE ASKED US

THAT SAME QUESTION.

Rancid: I GUESS YOU MUST BE PRETTY POPULAR, HUH?

OH, YES, ESPECIALLY WITH THE GIRLS.

CAT HERE IS A BABE MAGNET.

WHAT ARE YOU NUTS?

WOMEN FIND HIM REPULSIVE.

GET LOST, RAT FACE.

CAN'T YOU SEE I'M BEING INTERVIEWED FOR TV?

PSST, HEY, DOG.

ARE YOU GOING TO LET YOUR LESSER HALF

STEAL ALL THE SPOTLIGHT?

SAY, I GET IT.

( laughs )

CAT, ON THE PHONE

YOU WERE TELLING ME HOW ATHLETIC YOU ARE.

WELL, I DON'T WANT... NOT ON...

BET YOU NEVER SEEN A TWO-HEADED CREEP PLAY CATCH WITH ITSELF.

WHY, NO, I HAVEN'T; LET'S SEE IT.

IS SOMETHING WRONG WITH HIM?

HE DIDN'T CATCH IT.

OH, WELL, ACTUALLY...

THIS IS HOW WE PLAY CATCH.

OH, THAT'S A GOOD THROW, DOG.

THAT WAS PRETTY GOOD.

WHAT ELSE YOU GOT?

THEY WON A BRONZE AT THE UNICYCLE OLYMPICS.

WAIT!

NEVER IN A MILLION YEARS...

ON THE OTHER HAND

THE INGRIDS WILL BE WATCHING.

MAKE SURE YOU FILM

MY GOOD SIDE FOR THE LOVELY LADIES.

( yelling )

WHAT ARE YOU...?

FABULOUS.

NOW, THIS IS WHAT I CALL PERKY TELEVISION.

( yelling... )

( crashes )

( Cat screaming )

I CAN'T FIND THE BRAKE ON THIS!

YOW!

NOT MY GOOD SIDE.

WHOO-HOO!

NOTHING IS WORTH ALL THIS TORTURE.

NOT EVEN TV.

( snoring )

HEY, MR. RANCID, I'VE GOT A CONFESSION TO MAKE...

SEE YOU ON TV, CAT.

AND THEN MAYBE WE'LL GO OUT.

WHAT DID YOU WANT TO SAY?

TV?

OH, TV IS OUR GREATEST NATIONAL PASTIME.

WELL SAID.

DID CAT TELL YOU

HOW HE AND DOG ARE CHAMPION SYNCHRONIZED SWIMMERS?

WHAT?! I'M A CAT.

CATS DON'T SWIM.

WAIT A MINUTE, WAIT A MINUTE.

WE GOT TO SEE THAT.

( Cat meowing )

( bubbling )

OKAY, THAT'S A WRAP.

LET'S PUT THIS BABY TO BED.

NOW THAT WAS TV MAGIC.

( yawning )

HEY, WAKE UP, CAT.

DON'T WE HAVE AN INTERVIEW TO DO?

( crickets chirping )

( music playing )

CAT, DID WE MISS YOUR BIG TV DEBUT?

NOT YET.

IN A FEW MINUTES I'LL BE WORLD-FAMOUS

NO THANKS TO A CERTAIN LITTLE BLUE RAT BOY.

SO, LADIES... ( chuckling smugly )

WHERE SHOULD WE GO ON OUR DATE TONIGHT?

HUSH, IT'S STARTING.

Welcome to Really Incredible People.

Tonight, we interview a suave, debonair, young lad

with a relaxed, laid-back style

all his own... Dog.

( gasps )

What makes this canine so special is

that he's had to overcome the horrible affliction

of having a cat for a tail.

( cackling maliciously )

BIG TV STAR.

OOH, DOGGIE, YOU WERE SO HANDSOME ON TV.

WE GO OUT NOW, JA?

( groaning )

YEAH, PEOPLE SENSE IF YOU'RE TRYING TOO HARD.

YOU KNOW, I JUST LAY BACK, LAY BACK.

LET THE CHARISMA DO THE WORK.

♪ ONE FINE DAY WITH A WOOF AND A PURR ♪

♪ A BABY WAS BORN AND IT CAUSED A LITTLE STIR ♪

♪ NO BLUE BUG AND NO THREE-EYED FROG ♪

♪ JUST A FELINE, CANINE

♪ LITTLE CATDOG

♪ CATDOG... CATDOG...

♪ ALONE IN THE WORLD WAS A LITTLE CATDOG ♪

♪ OUT ON THE ROAD OR BACK IN TOWN ♪

♪ ALL KIND OF CRITTERS PUTTING CATDOG DOWN ♪

♪ GOT TO RISE ABOVE IT, GOT TO TRY TO GET ALONG ♪

♪ GOT TO WALK TOGETHER, GOT TO SING THIS SONG ♪

♪ CATDOG... CATDOG...

♪ ALONE IN THE WORLD WAS A LITTLE CATDOG... ♪

[Captioning sponsored by THE U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION

and NICKELODEON ]

♪ ALONE IN THE WORLD WAS A LITTLE CATDOG. ♪

[Captioned byThe Caption Center WGBH Educational Foundation]