Original subtitles

♪ ONE FINE DAY WITH A WOOF AND A PURR ♪

♪ A BABY WAS BORN AND IT CAUSED A LITTLE STIR ♪

♪ NO BLUE BUG AND NO THREE-EYED FROG ♪

♪ JUST A FELINE, CANINE, LITTLE CATDOG ♪

♪ CATDOG... CATDOG...

♪ ALONE IN THE WORLD WAS A LITTLE CATDOG ♪

♪ OUT ON THE ROAD OR BACK IN TOWN ♪

♪ ALL KIND OF CRITTERS PUTTING CATDOG DOWN ♪

♪ GOT TO RISE ABOVE IT, GOT TO TRY TO GET ALONG ♪

♪ GOT TO WALK TOGETHER, GOT TO SING THIS SONG ♪

♪ CATDOG... CATDOG...

♪ ALONE IN THE WORLD WAS A LITTLE CATDOG ♪

♪ CATDOG... CATDOG...

♪ ALONE IN THE WORLD WAS A LITTLE CATDOG. ♪

[Captioning sponsored by THE U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION

and NICKELODEON]

( growling, woman screaming )

( chain saw buzzing )

( screams )

( woman screaming )

( man laughs maliciously )

( stammering )

TELL ME WHEN IT'S OVER.

( growling )

( panting )

( heavy footsteps thudding )

( screams )

TOOTHPICK HEAD!

( growls )

WHO BIT MY BOLOGNA?

( screaming )

( glass shatters )

( laughing evilly )

( door creaks, slams )

( both panting )

( growling )

MOLD-- BREAD'S WORST ENEMY.

( doorbell rings )

( growling )

( trembling )

( both screaming )

IT'S TOOTHPICK HEAD, HE'S GOING TO GET YOU.

( screams )

( growling )

( glass breaks )

( gasps )

BACK, EVIL SANDWICH!

( laughing )

( cawing )

THE TOASTER-- IT'S THE ONLY WAY TO DESTROY HIM!

Dog: YEAH, THE TOASTER, THE TOASTER, THE TOASTER!

( growls )

( muffled yelling )

( zapping, sizzling )

( laughs )

HE'S TOAST.

WHEW.

( coughing )

( crashes )

IT'S OVER.

IT'S FINALLY OVER.

( giggling )

Cat: BUT WHO WILL BE HIS NEXT VICTIMS?

( laughing heartily )

( snoring )

( thunder crashes )

( clears throat )

( panting, stammering )

TOOTHPICK HEAD!

WILL YOU GIVE ME THAT?

DON'T BE SILLY.

TOOTHPICK HEAD IS JUST A MAKE-BELIEVE MOVIE MONSTER.

NOW GO BACK TO SLEEP AND SNORE RIGHT.

OKAY, OKAY. GEEZ.

( whimpering )

RELAX, DOG.

IT'S JUST YOUR IMAGINATION RUNNING WILD.

I BET YOU THINK TOOTHPICK HEAD

LEFT THESE BREAD CRUMBS.

UH-UH, UN-UH.

OH, AND I SUPPOSE THIS JAR OF MUSTARD IS FOR HIS BOLOGNA?

HA!

OH, AND THESE, THESE... TOOTHPICKS.

THERE'S HUNDREDS AND THOUSANDS

AND MILLIONS OF TOOTHPICKS.

YOU'RE RIGHT, BUDDY.

I FEEL MUCH BETTER NOW.

SWEET DREAMS, PAL.

( snoring )

GARBAGE, GARBAGE.

TRUCK, TRUCK.

GARBAGE, GARBAGE.

TRUCK, TRUCK.

( thunder rumbling )

( teeth chattering )

Cat: THIS IS ABSURD.

THIS IS POSITIVELY RIDICULOUS.

TOOTHPICK HEAD IS MAKING MY LIFE A NERVOUS WRECK.

MY LIFE IS A LIVING HECK, IS WHAT IT IS.

I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M STUCK DOING THIS.

ALL RIGHT, LET'S SEE.

MOLD, IT'S GOT TO BE IN HERE SOMEWHERE.

( screams )

OH, IT'S YOU.

YOU'RE ALWAYS SNEAKING UP ON ME.

CAT, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

UH... WELL

I, I'M JUST MAKING A MIDNIGHT SNACK.

( laughs nervously )

WHY ARE YOU WEARING A TOASTER

AROUND YOUR NECK?

DUH! SO I DON'T HAVE TO WALK TO THE COUNTER!

STUPID QUESTION.

MMM...

( laughs )

MMM, MOLDY.

MOLDY TOAST, YUM.

( door creaks, slams )

SHEESH, THIS PLACE REEKS OF TOOTHPICK HEAD.

I GOT TO GET OUT OF HERE.

WINSLOW, THERE'S NOTHING TO BE AFRAID OF.

RIGHT, CAT?

( choking back vomit )

( puking violently )

YEAH, RIGHT.

UH-HUH.

( giggling )

OKAY, IT'S YOUR FUNERAL.

WAIT, WAIT, WAIT A SECOND.

ARE YOU A-SCARED OF TOOTHPICK HEAD?

NO.

YES!

( screaming )

( laughing evilly )

( springs popping )

( both shouting )

WHO TURNED OUT THE LIGHTS?

SHH, SHH, QUIET.

( soft skittering )

DID YOU HEAR THAT?

( banging )

( laughing )

( growling )

( yawning )

( yells )

( sniffing )

CAT, D-DO YOU SMELL THAT?

SMELLS LIKE... SOME KIND OF A MEAT BY-PRODUCT

LIKE OLIVE LOAF OR SALAMI OR...

Both: BOLOGNA!

( both scream )

TOOTHPICK HEAD!

WHO BIT MY BOLOGNA AGAIN?

MOLD, BREAD'S WORST ENEMY!

( footsteps approaching )

BACK, EVIL SANDWICH!

( laughing evilly )

ATTACK, ATTACK!

"BACK IN FIVE MINUTES"?!

THE TOASTER, IT'S THE ONLY WAY TO DESTROY HIM.

( muffled yelling )

( zapping, sizzling )

( both gasp )

WINSLOW!WINSLOW!

( cackling )

OR IS IT?

ENOUGH, ALREADY!

( all laughing... )

THAT WAS GREAT.

( laughing goofily )

YEAH, YOU GOT US, BUT GOOD.

( snickers )

WELL, HE GOT YOU GOOD, YOU MEAN.

( clears throat )

WELL, OKAY, I ADMIT

I WAS A TINY BIT SCARED

WHEN YOU TURNED OUT THE LIGHTS.

I DIDN'T TURN OUT THE LIGHTS.

( thunder rumbling )

( all screaming )

( cackling )

OLDEST TRICK IN THE BOOK.

( door opens )

( screams )

SECOND OLDEST TRICK IN THE BOOK.

( birds chirping )

( schmaltzy polka music playing )

( yawns loudly )

( engines revving )

Man: ...tons of pure hopping power

that's guaranteed to drive you out of your mind!

( turns up polka music )

Man: Hopping Haunches is four hydraulic-powered monkeys

capable of 300 miles per hour.

And here comes the turbo hopper, 600 hopping horsepower.

He's a bad boy!

( volume increasing... )

And there they go!

They're literally ripping up the track.

Can you feel the power?

( blaring polka... )

I said power, power, power!

OH, HOPPING HAUNCHES!

( engines revving )

TV announcer: Tuesday! Tuesday! Tuesday!

( rumbling, crackling... )

( music, TV silent )

THIS IS NOT WORKING.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN, CAT?

WE CAN'T AGREE ON ANYTHING.

I DISAGREE, I THINK WE CAN AGREE.

SEE, WE CAN'T EVEN AGREE TO DISAGREE ON DISAGREEING.

LOOK AT THE TWO OF YOUSE.

YOU CAN'T GET TOGETHER ON NOTHING.

HIYA, WINSLOW.

YOU GUYS GOT TO LEARN TO SOLVE YOUR PROBLEMS

THE CIVILIZED, DEMOCRATIC WAY, BY VOTING.

I TOOK THE LIBERTY OF DEFINING SOME OF YOUR ISSUES.

HMM, CLASSICAL POLKA VERSUS HOPPING TRUCKS.

CLASSICAL POLKA, NATURALLY.

INTELLIGENT CONVERSATION VERSUS MINDLESS DRIVEL.

( whining like jet )

( Dog imitates guns blasting )

UH, KABOOM!

OKAY, YOU GUYS.

THE POLLS ARE CLOSED.

LET'S SEE, THE DEMOCRATIC PROCESS TRIUMPHS AGAIN.

NOT! IT'S A DEADLOCK.

YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY.

THEY SAY, "WHAT THE HECK'S A DEADLOCK?"

NO, "A HOUSE DIVIDED CAN'T STAND."

SEE YOU!

HUH. DEADLOCKED, HUH?

DEMOCRACY.

THE MAJORITY RULES.

DOG CANCELS OUT MY VOTE.

IF I COULD VOTE TWICE...

NYAH-HAH!

YEAH, IF I COULD VOTE TWICE...

OH, DOG?

MY DEAR OLD FRIEND

I HAVE A PLAN THAT WILL UN-SKEWER US

FROM THE HORNS OF OUR SEEMINGLY HOPELESS DILEMMA.

HUH? UH, WHATEVER.

GOOD ANSWER.

( creatures chatting )

GOOD DAY. PLEASE STATE YOUR NAME.

MY NAME?

UH, YES, OF COURSE.

UH, MY NAME IS--

( clears throat, chuckles nervously )

WELL, IT'S A FUNNY THING, UH...

( clears throat )

IT'S, UH...

( loud heartbeat... )

IT'S A TOUGH ONE.

I CAN'T REMEMBER.

( whimpering )

( yells )

Cat: THANK YOU SO MUCH.

NEXT!

I ABSOLUTELY, POSITIVELY, 110% AM NOT A KLEPTOMANIAC.

( buzzer, yelling )

MY LIKES ARE LIKE, YOU KNOW

BODY PIERCING, MISSPELLED TATTOOS.

UM, MY DISLIKES WOULD BE, YOU KNOW, LIKE SOAP, UH...

TOOTHBRUSHES, PERSONAL HY--

( buzzer, yelling )

( snoring, wheezing )

SO MR., UM, PIG.

YOU LIKE TUNA BLINTZES?

TUNA BLINTZES, ARE YOU KIDDING?

I MEAN, YOU GOT YOUR TUNA

AND YOUR BLINTZES.

WHAT'S NOT TO LIKE?

UH, YEAH.

UH, DOG, DOG?

DO YOU HAVE ANY QUESTIONS?

( snoring, wheezing )

OKAY, I GUESS NOT.

TABLE MANNERS, MR. PIG, DO YOU VALUE THEM?

OH, HOW TO HOLD A FORK

IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN THE AIR I BREATHE.

( panting )

AND, UH... CLEANLINESS?

NEXT TO CATLINESS!

OH, THIS LITTLE PIGGY WENT TO MARKET.

CONGRATULATIONS, PIG.

YOU'RE IN.

( groans )

HOLY MOLY, THAT'S A BIG PIG.

DOG, STRETCH, COME ON.

( grunting )

( loud snap )

WELL, SO LONG, YOU GUYS.

GREAT IDEA, CAT.

( cackles )

( clears throat )

PIG, WELCOME TO CATDOG.

NOW, HOW ABOUT THAT TUNA BLINTZ?

OR SHOULD WE VOTE ON IT?

OR HOW ABOUT AN OOZEY, SLIMY, FILTHY MUD BATH?

ALL RIGHT, ALL IN FAVOR

OF THE MUD BATH, SAY AYE.

AYE.

AYE.

( yelps )

THE AYES HAVE IT!

Dog, Pig: HOORAY! OKAY!

ARE YOU READY TO WALLOW WITH ME?

MUDDY, MUDDY MUD.

I LOVE MUD.

MUD IS ON MY HANDS.

IT'S IN MY FACE.

IT'S IN MY HAIR.

HEY, PIG!

I THOUGHT YOU SAID CLEANLINESS WAS NEXT TO CATLINESS.

OH, NO, DUDE, NEXT TO IMPOSSIBLE.

( laughing )

( eating noisily )

DOG, OLD FRIEND.

HOW ABOUT A LITTLE GAME OF FETCH?

OH, BOY, I LOVE FETCH.

YEAH, YEAH, FETCH IS ONE EXCITING GAME.

IT'S GREAT FUN.

BUT, DUDE, LET'S DO SOMETHING REALLY RAD.

KAWABUNGA!

( Cat screeching )

Cat: I JUST... I FEEL TRAPPED.

I FEEL, I FEEL... I FEEL WOUNDED.

I FEEL DOWNRIGHT BETRAYED.

YOU NEED TO TALK TO DOG AND PIG.

YOU KNOW, SHARE YOUR ISSUES WITH THEM.

YEAH, YEAH, THAT'S GOOD.

I NEED TO SHARE MY ISSUES WITH THEM.

OKAY.

( clears throat )

GUYS?

GUYS?

IS IT ME

OR IS OUR NEW RELATIONSHIP KIND OF...

NOT WORKING OUT?

Both: NOT WORKING OUT?

THIS SCENE IS WICKED AWESOME.

YEAH, WICKED AWESOME, DUDE.

IN FACT, WE JUST VOTED IN THREE NEW MEMBERS!

THREE NEW MEMBERS?

( Cat groaning loudly )

( horse whinnies )

OKAY, CATDOG-PIG-HORSE- GORILLA-EMU, SUCK IT IN.

( groans )

WELL, WINSLOW..

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ALL YOUR HELP!

THE PLEASURE WAS TRULY MINE. SEE YOU.

YOU KNOW WHAT TIME IT IS?

HALF-PAST CHOW TIME!

All: AYE!

( grunting )

NO, COME ON.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

( horse neighs )

( noisy gobbling )

( burping )

IT IS NOT FAIR.

OW!

( glass breaks )

( whinnying )

OW!

OH, THEY'RE ALL AGAINST ME.

YOU STUPID MAJORITY!

OKAY.

ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR, FIVE.

WELL, WITH ONLY FIVE MORE VOTES, I'LL BE THE STUPID MAJORITY.

( giggling maniacally )

( yelping )

YOU'VE BEEN SELECTED TO PARTICIPATE

IN AN EXCITING EXPERIMENT IN THE ELECTORAL PROCESS.

WELCOME TO CATDOG-PIG- HORSE-GORILLA-EMU.

( Cat, Dog groaning )

I THINK I JUST PULLED A MUSCLE.

THAT WAS MY MUSCLE.

( both groaning )

ALL IN FAVOR OF GETTING OUT OF THIS MESS, SAY AYE.

AYE.

AYE.

AY... EE...!

CAT?

CAT?

IT'S OKAY, WE'RE FREE NOW, FREE.

( sighs ) YEAH, FREE AT LAST.

OH, BUT NOT THEM.

( whinnying, trumpeting, etc. )

THAT FOOLISH HEAP OF FLESH AND FUR.

FROM NOW ON, DOG...

HOW ABOUT WE WORK THINGS OUT

JUST THE TWO OF US?

CAT?

YES?

I VOTE WE LISTEN TO CLASSICAL POLKA.

OH, EXCELLENT CHOICE

BUT I THINK I'D RATHER WATCH MONSTER TRUCKS.

YOU'RE SO NICE.

NO, CLASSICAL POLKA.

WELL, I REALLY MUST INSIST ON MONSTER TRUCKS.

CLASSICAL POLKA!

MONSTER TRUCKS!

( singing a polka )

MONSTER TRUCKS!

( singing a polka )

STOP IT!

( chuckling )

Pig: TOTALLY RAD...!

♪ ONE FINE DAY WITH A WOOF AND A PURR ♪

♪ A BABY WAS BORN AND IT CAUSED A LITTLE STIR ♪

♪ NO BLUE BUG AND NO THREE-EYED FROG ♪

♪ JUST A FELINE, CANINE

♪ LITTLE CATDOG

♪ CATDOG... CATDOG...

♪ ALONE IN THE WORLD WAS A LITTLE CATDOG ♪

♪ OUT ON THE ROAD OR BACK IN TOWN ♪

♪ ALL KIND OF CRITTERS PUTTING CATDOG DOWN ♪

♪ GOT TO RISE ABOVE IT, GOT TO TRY TO GET ALONG ♪

♪ GOT TO WALK TOGETHER, GOT TO SING THIS SONG ♪

♪ CATDOG... CATDOG...

♪ ALONE IN THE WORLD WAS A LITTLE CATDOG... ♪

[Captioning sponsored by THE U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION

and NICKELODEON ]

♪ ALONE IN THE WORLD WAS A LITTLE CATDOG. ♪

[Captioned byThe Caption Center WGBH Educational Foundation]