All language subtitles for Bat Bitch xxx

It was an early September morning.

Standing outside of a warehouse playing
a hunch.

One of my sources gave me an inside on a
conspiracy going down.

It seemed some senator was selling
secrets to the Ruskins.

He had a thing with the ladies.

They were sending their foxes to agent.

It was chilly.

I had had only seven cups of coffee.

I was dead tired.

I kept having to ask myself, why am I
talking in voiceover dialogue?

Damned if I knew.

Senator Blowhard, I'm Anastasia, the
beautiful Russian spy.

Do you have the papers?

First things first, though.

Do you have what I want?

So do we have an agreement?

I'd heard about this, Dan.

Bat bitch, they called her.

Always wore black.

She'd show up.

Fuck guys, silly. Then, disappearing in
the night.

Scoop of a lifetime just from my hands.

Lucky me.

Who are you?

East German, perhaps?

You do not stand a chance against the
most sensuous woman in Russia.

I think this contract will be reopened
to discuss this new bid.

But we had a deal.

I'm Anastasia. I'm the most beautiful
Russian spy.

Retrieve in a senator when Washington
wants me.

Take a hike, Rusky.

I've got business to discuss.

Who is that bitch?

They called her the bat bitch.

She was the most beautiful woman I had
ever seen.

I had to find out who she was behind
that mask.

What is she doing here? Who does she
work for?

Who the hell are you?

Didn't know who she was or where she
came from.

Maybe she worked for us, maybe not.

But either way, I was going to find out
who she was, or my name wasn't Johnny

Deadline.

Your voice, you speak so, so strange.

The whiskey was gorgeous.

Any other time, I'd have bopped her.

But I had my story.

She'd probably be calling her superiors.

The bopping would have to wait.

Yes, when hell freezes under, you miss
the deadline.

But you are right. I must change my
clothes and call my comrade.

Oh, man, we could use some serious
consideration for these doctors.

Come on, Senator.

Fuck me.

I just don't understand what

you are doing with that nasty Russian
bitch.

She just doesn't have what I have, does
she?

That cock is good.

Great.

Fuck me like that.

Where'd she go?

Where'd she go?

Gone.

Vanished like a bat in the night.

What's more,

it was still daytime.

Well, the bitch was good.

She was very good.

Incredibly good.

I don't know what it all meant, but it
sounded good.

Yes, operator.

Russia.

Correct.

Comrade.

That's right, comrade.

They call her bat bitch.

Yes, she is gorgeous.

But she is no match for the beautiful
Russian spy.

I will get those plants.

No matter what I have to do, no matter
how slow I have to sink.

What?

Describe them?

You are sick, comrade.

No, I would not.

I'd stop begging.

I must go now.

To think I'd give up a part in the
ballet's ballet.

I'd comb the pawn shops in search of
clues.

I don't know why, but reporters are
supposed to comb pawn shops in search of

clues.

I came up with a big fat zero.

Stopped by my neighbor's, Naomi Simpson.

Nice girl.

By day, she was a librarian.

By night, she taught blind kids.

But then when you think about it, isn't
it always night to a blind kid?

Are you talking in voiceover again,
Johnny?

You know, I really think you ought to
see somebody about that.

It was a good suggestion.

I'd take it up later.

Right now, well, I had Senator Blowhard
on my mind.

Senator Blowhard?

He's the head of the top secret I don't
want the Russians to find out about

subcommittee.

You know, I heard he and his wife are
staying in town at the plaza.

I'd gotten a tip that they were at the
plaza.

I knew they wouldn't be staying at the
Motel 6.

Well, he's probably in the presidential
suite. He always stays there.

He's got delusions of grandeur, you
know. He might find him there. I knew

find him at the presidential suite at
the plaza.

But then, that would mean leaving Naomi
and her chocolate chip cookies.

And she made the best chocolate chip
cookies this side of the Mississippi.

Well, take some with you.

I took some with me.

I knew I'd need them later.

And I was off with my day with density.

Destiny. I never could spell where the
shit and still can't.

But that's what editors are for.

I told the maid I was Senator's special
attache.

CIA headquarters in Angola.

She believed it.

Showed her a fake ID.

Maids believe those kind of things.

These maids are dumb.

That's why they're maids, not
physicists.

I know there's bugs around. There's
always bugs around.

Every room you're in, I look for bugs.

I heard a key in the door. It's time to
go to work.

I tried to be quiet.

Who are you?

I must have the wrong room.

Possibly. Are you a beautiful Russian
spy?

Well, then you have the right room. I'm
Mrs. Blowhard.

You must be looking for my husband, the
senator.

He has told you of me?

No, but he comes with the territory.

Probably going to make mad passionate
sex with him in order to obtain some

secret documents.

You seem to know a lot of your husband's
affairs.

Well, like I said, it comes with the
territory.

But he won't be back tonight.

And since you're all dressed up with no
one to fuck, you can't possibly be

suggesting that I have mad passionate
sex with you.

Yes, I am.

Will it obtain me my documents?

Well, I can't say for sure, but it will
get you one hell of a pussy eating.

It is against the regulations for
beautiful Russian spy, but...

since he will not be back tonight, and I
have nothing to do until then.

Marvelous.

That was it.

The plot was thickening, and I was right
smack dab in the middle of it.

Did you hear something?

Yes, but maybe if we ignore it, it will
go away.

You are a beautiful Russian spy.

Why don't you play back?

Relax.

And that's what this is.

That's my new toy.

Want to see how it works?

Oh.

um um

Oh.

um um

Um.

oh oh oh

What is it?

Submission is back.

Yes.

Yes, yes

No, comrade. I've not obtained the
secret documents yet.

No, I've not had sex with the senator
yet.

But I have had sex with the senator's
wife.

Yes, she is one hot fucking babe.

What? No, I will not give you details.

And stop panting.

I do have a possible lead.

Yes, a reporter.

Who seems to know my moves more than I
do.

No, he will not give you details either.

I must go now.

And to think I could have been a coal
miner like my father wanted me to be.

no, I had to be a spy.

I'm surprised that Johnny used me as a
reference on his CIA application.

I thought he was happy as a reporter.

He is, but his country calls to him.

Do you know this gentleman well, yes?

Well, yes.

We've been neighbors for quite some
time.

He's very nice, very polite, but he does
have this strange habit of talking in

voiceover sometimes.

I have noticed.

He seems to be able to put himself in
the most clad steam places at the most

opportune time.

Well, he's very sneaky that way.

Do you know what his connection is with
this certain Senator Blowhard?

Um, he's doing a story on him.

And doing so, would he know where this
Senator is at all times?

I would assume so.

Sexual preferences?

Well, I'm just waiting for the right man
to come along right now.

No, Mr.

Deadline, does he have certain sexual
preferences?

Well, I would assume so.

Do you know what they are?

I don't know. We're just friends. I
mean, listen, I'd love to stay and chat

you, but I've really got to get going.

I've got class tonight. Can you hand me
those cards over there, please?

They are blank.

Well, yes.

I teach blind children.

See? They're in Braille.

Thank you. I must be going myself.

You have been most helpful.

Goodbye.

Beautiful Russian spy. I wonder what
she's up to.

You can bet your sweet ass if it has
anything to do with fucking that bitch

we'll be in on it.

It was Saturday.

I was sitting under a tree.

Going over what I had.

I had one beautiful Russian spy.

One senator on the make.

One mysterious, gorgeous nympho.

And one lesbo -senator's wife.

No matter how I figured it, it always
came up 3 .14.

Aye.

I just didn't figure.

All it did was make me hungry.

How won't you?

The look in her eye told me that she
wanted me.

What the hell?

There was no senator around and no bat
bitch either.

I figured hell was getting a little bit
nippy right about now.

I want you to make love to me, Johnny
Deadline.

I want you to make love to me like you
never made love to a woman before.

I've made love to women before.

She wanted me to make love to her like
I've never made love to a woman before.

If I made love to her like I never made
love to a woman before, that means I'd

be making love to her like I was a
virgin.

And that was clumsy.

Couldn't figure why she wanted me to be
clumsy.

Shut up and fuck my brains out.

I decided talk was cheap.

It was time for some action.

Hmm.

Mm -hmm.

Mm -hmm.

Right there.

Oh, this is so nice.

I couldn't think anymore. My mind was
spinning. I didn't know up from down,

from up, in from out.

Thank God for Naomi and her chocolate
chip cookies.

Thank you.

Now, tell me what's wrong.

I was trying to think what was really
bothering me, what was wrong.

I finally came up that it was that
Russian dame.

She wanted me to do unspeakable things,
things that I wouldn't normally do.

She wanted to take every threat of
morality and patriotism I had in me.

Well, are you going to?

You could bet your sweet ass I was going
to do it.

This Russian was hot, too hot.

She had her warm, wet thighs wrapped
around me like the erotic tentacles of

octopus.

There are other women in the world, you
know. Sure, there were other dames in

the world. About two and a half billion
of them.

About a billion of them, well, they were
underage.

And that left.

Well, about a billion or so.

Never could count, still can't. That's
why we have editors.

Anyway, the rest of them, they were
married.

About half of them, they were fat.

About a tenth of them, they were
lesbians.

The odds were falling fast.

Well, what about Bat Bitch?

Then there was the Bat Bitch.

I'd seen her once.

If anybody could take my mind off that
Russian dame, it was her.

But she was nowhere to be found.

She might be closer than you think?

You know, I was thinking she was closer
than I would really actually think at

first. I could feel it in my bones.

But I didn't have time to think about
that.

My deck was doing the thinking for me
now.

I wanted to help the Russian by helping
the senator's wife so that the senator

could get the secrets from the Russian.

All I had to do now was find the
senator's wife.

She's getting her carpet.

I had a tip.

She was at the garage fixing her car.

I had to go.

I thought I'd take some of Naomi's
chocolate chip cookies with me.

No Russian octopus is going to wrap her
erratic tentacles around you, Johnny

Deadline.

What are you doing here? You are
supposed to be seducing Miss Brohard.

I had waited around the garage an hour.

Service attendant told me that the car
never even was checked in for servicing.

I go to the secret meeting place and
warn the Russian there.

Take every back alley, every street,
every dark path so I wasn't followed.

You! I will not lose to you again.

The Russian was good.

Too good. But the bat bitch, she was
something special.

I could see electricity coming out of
her eyes. She made me feel like I was

standing on a cold floor with no shoes.

You are standing on a cold floor with no
shoes.

Then I realized I was standing on a cold
floor and I had no shoes on.

Didn't matter.

My head was on right.

My cock was hard and at the ready. And I
was going to fuck this girl for all she

was worth.

Just like that. I ain't to be forgotten.

Like some old shoe you forgot to work.

The Russian gave up quick, a little too
quick.

But it didn't matter. The bat bitch was
here.

I just wanted to tear her top off, dive
into her titties and go sucka, sucka,

sucka.

Well, going to talk?

Or are we going to screw?

I was done talking.

Oh.

Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh.

Thank you for watching.

Ugh.

This brings to mind that old saying that
people say to each other after they're

done fucking.

Do you smoke after sex?

Usually people say, I don't know.

I haven't looked.

I always say, just keep one by the bed.

But that's another story.

I've come to make a deal.

I've never seen this woman before in my
life.

Ah, she's a beautiful Russian spy.

I met her the other day.

She's really quite good. You really
should have sex with her.

You had sex with this woman?

Yes, Pocom.

She has some super secret stuff.

We do have some money around here
somewhere, don't we?

I've come to make mad passionate love to
both of you. You will give me the

documents I've requested.

Thanks to my brilliant planning, that
bitch will otherwise be occupied.

Oh, what a shame. I was really looking
forward to eating her pussy.

But they'll be as they say in one of
those countries.

Come on, dear.

Time to sell our country out.

Okay, schnookums.

I've got it.

you

Thank you.

Okay. Okay.

Fuck!

oh oh oh

I love you, Americans.

Oh, fuck me, Jennifer.

Oh, I can fuck your dark fat ass.

Red, white, and blue, you communist
bitch.

It was quite simple, actually.

Very obvious. I should have seen it from
the start.

The senator's wife was actually a CIA
agent setting up the Russian, who was

using me to set up the bat bitch who was
setting up the senator.

The bat bitch was setting up the
Russian, who, by telling the senator,

the Russian showed up when he was with
his wife, thereby setting the Russian

What about the bat bitch?

The bat bitch was really something
special.

Never thought I'd see her again.

But it really didn't matter.

I had my story and it wouldn't be a
Pulitzer. I knew that.

I just couldn't help thinking.

I'll always be thinking.

The girl next to me, is that her?

Is that the one?

Is that the bat bitch?

No, comrade, I did not get the
documents.

Yes, I was followed again by the one
they call Bat Bitch.

No, comrade, I did not have sex with
her.

That reporter, Johnny Deadline, yes, he
had sex with her.

Polaroids? No, I do not have Polaroids.

But I soon will have something better.

Yes, I have a plan to get Johnny
Deadline out of my way for good. I'm

take care of his girlfriend.

Then I would get the document.

That's the danya.

That's the danya.

That's the danya.

That's the danya.

That's the danya.

Is this the end? Will Bat Bitch become a
proletariat pussy?

Will the evil Anastasia finally get rid
of the caped cunt? And what about Johnny

Deadline? What about the senator?

What about the duck?

Stay tuned for the next exciting chapter
of Bat Bitch.

It's a dirty job, but someone's got to
do it. That's right.

Our final contestant, and she's going to
show us everything.

Everything she's got. That's right.

Cassie Christopher.

I can tell she took some of you on a
real nice trip, right?

It didn't go through the ape trick. It's
a gee whiz, gee strings. Well, what did

you think about our contestants, our
final contestants?

Well,

we've had a good time. I know the judges
have had a good time, and most of you

seem like you've had a good time. Yes,
and the judges are now tabulating their

final scores.

Why don't we get all the beautiful
ladies back out here?

I think we're ready.

Okay. Here we go.

We're coming down. Down we come.

Oh, my goodness.

Oh, my gosh.

I won the entire thing. Oh, no. Okay.

We have it, ladies and gentlemen. It's
on these pieces of paper. We have ties.

These ties.

Okay. So our fifth runner -up tonight is
Contessa Ayesha.

Thank you, Donna.

And our fourth runner -up is Kitty.

She's so pumped, so loud.

Our third runner -up this evening is
Kathy Christopher.

And now we have a tie for first runner
-up. That's right.

Hold a second. I didn't get an ooh out
of you, pal. Come on.