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1
00:00:02,785 --> 00:00:05,309
♪ Men ♪♪
2
00:00:05,396 --> 00:00:08,138
Feel like I spent the last
half hour yodeling in a cave.
3
00:00:10,445 --> 00:00:12,838
I'm sorry.
It wasn't you.
4
00:00:12,925 --> 00:00:14,753
No, it was, it was
like licking a lollipop
5
00:00:14,840 --> 00:00:16,407
that never
gets any smaller.
6
00:00:16,494 --> 00:00:18,627
I mean, you enjoy it,
but after a while
7
00:00:18,714 --> 00:00:20,455
you start to crave the stick.
8
00:00:20,542 --> 00:00:24,241
Did I at least make
you crave the stick?
9
00:00:24,328 --> 00:00:27,853
You did great. I'm just...
a little distracted.
10
00:00:27,940 --> 00:00:30,856
- Is everything okay?
- Not really.
11
00:00:30,943 --> 00:00:32,684
- We need to talk.
- Oh, come on.
12
00:00:32,771 --> 00:00:34,991
I got lockjaw
and you wanna talk?
13
00:00:35,078 --> 00:00:36,993
I-I wanna know where we're
going with this relationship.
14
00:00:37,080 --> 00:00:38,560
Do we have any
kind of a future?
15
00:00:38,647 --> 00:00:40,823
Of course, we do.
I mean, th-things are good.
16
00:00:40,910 --> 00:00:43,478
Th-things are great.
Why rock the boat?
17
00:00:43,565 --> 00:00:45,654
I mean, I know the little
man inside your boat
18
00:00:45,741 --> 00:00:47,960
could use some rocking.
19
00:00:48,048 --> 00:00:50,876
I'm talking about making a long
term commitment to each other.
20
00:00:50,963 --> 00:00:52,617
You mean like marriage?
21
00:00:52,704 --> 00:00:55,229
- Would that be so awful?
- Ask my ex-wife.
22
00:00:55,316 --> 00:00:58,058
Her statement in court read
like a Stephen King novel.
23
00:00:58,145 --> 00:00:59,798
W-where is this coming
from all of a sudden?
24
00:00:59,885 --> 00:01:01,757
It was something
my gynecologist said.
25
00:01:01,844 --> 00:01:03,541
- Are you alright?
- I-I'm fine.
26
00:01:03,628 --> 00:01:06,066
He said, "Everything
looks great down here.
27
00:01:06,153 --> 00:01:08,720
Would you like to
have dinner sometime?"
28
00:01:08,807 --> 00:01:10,113
Wow. Wow.
29
00:01:10,200 --> 00:01:12,637
Uh, that is wildly
inappropriate.
30
00:01:12,724 --> 00:01:15,162
- I mean, a-as a doctor myself--
- You're a chiropractor.
31
00:01:15,249 --> 00:01:18,252
Nonetheless, I am a healer.
There's a code!
32
00:01:18,339 --> 00:01:19,818
I mean, you don't,
you don't ask someone out
33
00:01:19,905 --> 00:01:22,038
when they're buck naked with
their feet in the stirrups.
34
00:01:22,125 --> 00:01:24,432
Unless you're
drunk at a rodeo.
35
00:01:24,519 --> 00:01:26,216
Well, he did.
36
00:01:26,303 --> 00:01:27,957
Do you wanna
go out with him?
37
00:01:28,044 --> 00:01:30,046
It's not about
going out with him.
38
00:01:30,133 --> 00:01:31,830
But if you and I
don't have a future
39
00:01:31,917 --> 00:01:33,745
I need to examine my options.
40
00:01:33,832 --> 00:01:36,270
The way you got examined
by Dr. Busy Fingers?
41
00:01:37,793 --> 00:01:41,275
Look, I don't
wanna grow old alone.
42
00:01:41,362 --> 00:01:44,321
So, if you're not ready to
make this kind of commitment
43
00:01:44,408 --> 00:01:45,844
better to know now.
44
00:01:45,931 --> 00:01:48,456
Jeez, Lyndsey, you
k-kinda sprung this on me.
45
00:01:48,543 --> 00:01:50,022
I mean, I don't have
to give you an answer
46
00:01:50,110 --> 00:01:51,546
just this second, do I?
47
00:01:51,633 --> 00:01:53,025
No, no, of course not.
48
00:01:53,113 --> 00:01:55,158
- Just think about it.
- Okay.
49
00:01:55,245 --> 00:01:57,247
- Goodnight.
- Goodnight.
50
00:01:58,466 --> 00:01:59,423
[sighs]
51
00:02:03,384 --> 00:02:05,473
And just for the record,
he gets paid to go down there.
52
00:02:05,560 --> 00:02:07,475
I do it for
the love of the game.
53
00:02:09,085 --> 00:02:11,653
♪ Men men men men
manly men men men ♪
54
00:02:11,740 --> 00:02:14,612
♪ Ha ah ha-a-ah ♪♪ Men ♪♪
55
00:02:18,225 --> 00:02:20,270
♪ Men ♪♪
56
00:02:20,357 --> 00:02:21,402
Hey.
57
00:02:21,489 --> 00:02:23,665
Oh, hey, can I borrow your car?
58
00:02:23,752 --> 00:02:25,057
I need to take
my bike into the shop
59
00:02:25,145 --> 00:02:26,102
and it won't fit in mine.
60
00:02:26,189 --> 00:02:27,364
Sure. No problem.
61
00:02:27,451 --> 00:02:28,496
Thanks.
62
00:02:28,583 --> 00:02:30,237
I assume it needs gas?
63
00:02:30,324 --> 00:02:32,369
And oil.
64
00:02:32,456 --> 00:02:34,502
And brake fluid.
65
00:02:34,589 --> 00:02:36,678
And wiper blades.
66
00:02:37,896 --> 00:02:39,071
So, uh, what are you reading?
67
00:02:39,159 --> 00:02:40,725
I'm trying to finish "Ulysses."
68
00:02:40,812 --> 00:02:41,900
Oh, that's a tough one.
69
00:02:41,987 --> 00:02:42,901
How long you
been reading it?
70
00:02:42,988 --> 00:02:44,468
Fourteen years.
71
00:02:45,556 --> 00:02:48,298
I'm on page eight.
72
00:02:48,385 --> 00:02:49,647
Impressive.
73
00:02:49,734 --> 00:02:52,346
I'm still on the first
"Tuesday With Morrie."
74
00:02:52,433 --> 00:02:54,565
He dies in the end.
75
00:02:54,652 --> 00:02:56,350
Thank you.
76
00:02:56,437 --> 00:02:59,004
So, listen, I-I-I wanna ask
your opinion about something.
77
00:02:59,091 --> 00:03:00,832
Lyndsey has been pushing
me to make a commitment
78
00:03:00,919 --> 00:03:02,660
'cause some other
guy asked her out.
79
00:03:02,747 --> 00:03:05,794
- Who asked her out?
- Her gynecologist.
80
00:03:05,881 --> 00:03:07,970
Well, at least he knows
what he's getting into.
81
00:03:12,670 --> 00:03:13,758
Cute.
82
00:03:13,845 --> 00:03:14,977
But I-I-I mean, I don't want to
83
00:03:15,064 --> 00:03:16,674
lose Lyndsey, but I'm just not
84
00:03:16,761 --> 00:03:18,154
ready to make a commitment.
85
00:03:18,241 --> 00:03:20,504
My advice is you
better do something soon
86
00:03:20,591 --> 00:03:22,245
or you're out
and the doctor's in.
87
00:03:22,332 --> 00:03:24,682
And when I say,
"The doctor's in," I mean--
88
00:03:24,769 --> 00:03:27,076
No, I got it, I gotit.
89
00:03:27,163 --> 00:03:28,295
Alright, I got
to get out of here.
90
00:03:28,382 --> 00:03:30,079
Oh, here you go.
91
00:03:30,166 --> 00:03:32,429
Oh, uh, the driver's side
door doesn't work anymore
92
00:03:32,516 --> 00:03:33,822
so either get in
the passenger side
93
00:03:33,909 --> 00:03:35,519
or climb in through the window.
94
00:03:36,738 --> 00:03:37,695
- Got it.
- Oh!
95
00:03:37,782 --> 00:03:38,870
And whatever you do
96
00:03:38,957 --> 00:03:40,176
when you put
the key in the ignition
97
00:03:40,263 --> 00:03:42,265
make sure you're holding
something rubber.
98
00:03:42,352 --> 00:03:44,049
You know, so
you're grounded.
99
00:03:45,703 --> 00:03:46,922
Does Lyndsey have a nice car?
100
00:03:47,009 --> 00:03:48,924
- Yeah.
- Marry her.
101
00:03:49,011 --> 00:03:50,621
♪ Men ♪♪
102
00:03:50,708 --> 00:03:52,797
♪ And he's holding
her in his arms ♪
103
00:03:52,884 --> 00:03:54,843
♪ Late late at night ♪
104
00:03:54,930 --> 00:03:58,716
♪ You know I wish
that I had Jessie's girl ♪
105
00:03:58,803 --> 00:04:01,719
♪ I wish that I
had Jessie's girl ♪
106
00:04:03,939 --> 00:04:07,551
♪ Where can I find
a woman like that ♪
107
00:04:07,638 --> 00:04:09,292
♪ I'll play along
with this charade..♪♪
108
00:04:09,379 --> 00:04:12,252
[engine sputtering]
109
00:04:20,477 --> 00:04:21,609
Alan!
110
00:04:23,088 --> 00:04:25,265
Ah! Ow! Ow!
111
00:04:37,102 --> 00:04:38,278
Everything okay?
112
00:04:38,365 --> 00:04:39,757
Oh, yeah.
113
00:04:39,844 --> 00:04:41,411
I think it just overheated.
114
00:04:41,498 --> 00:04:42,934
Can I give you
a ride to a gas station?
115
00:04:43,021 --> 00:04:44,849
Uh, gee, I don't know.
116
00:04:44,936 --> 00:04:47,722
My mom always told me never
to get in a car with a stranger.
117
00:04:50,202 --> 00:04:52,248
I'm Shari McMartin.
118
00:04:52,335 --> 00:04:54,250
Solves that problem.
119
00:04:54,337 --> 00:04:56,426
♪ Men ♪♪
120
00:04:56,513 --> 00:04:58,820
Thank you.
I really appreciate it.
121
00:04:58,907 --> 00:05:00,952
Oh, no problem.
122
00:05:01,039 --> 00:05:03,172
So your old Volvo's
seen better days, huh?
123
00:05:03,259 --> 00:05:05,392
[chuckles]
Yeah, it's actually,
it's not mine.
124
00:05:05,479 --> 00:05:08,438
I borrowed it from a friend
to get my bike fixed.
125
00:05:08,525 --> 00:05:10,092
You ride a bike around town?
126
00:05:10,179 --> 00:05:12,181
You must have amazing stamina.
127
00:05:14,314 --> 00:05:15,706
Well, it's not the only
way that I get around.
128
00:05:15,793 --> 00:05:17,839
Hey, it's nothing
to be ashamed about.
129
00:05:17,926 --> 00:05:19,667
With the price
of gas being what it is
130
00:05:19,754 --> 00:05:21,886
a bicycle is very practical.
131
00:05:23,279 --> 00:05:24,802
I'm-I'm not ashamed.
132
00:05:24,889 --> 00:05:26,848
Trust me, there will
come a day when you won't
133
00:05:26,935 --> 00:05:29,764
have to worry about
having enough money for gas.
134
00:05:29,851 --> 00:05:31,026
Okay.
135
00:05:32,854 --> 00:05:34,725
I look forward to that day.
136
00:05:36,118 --> 00:05:38,120
So what's your name?
137
00:05:38,207 --> 00:05:40,992
- Walden.
- That's a nice name.
138
00:05:41,079 --> 00:05:42,211
What are you doing
in Los Angeles, Walden?
139
00:05:42,298 --> 00:05:45,040
You trying to be an actor or..
140
00:05:45,127 --> 00:05:46,824
...model or something?
141
00:05:49,958 --> 00:05:53,918
Right now, I'm trying
to finish a book.
142
00:05:54,005 --> 00:05:56,094
Oh. How long have
you been at it?
143
00:05:56,181 --> 00:05:59,750
- Fourteen years.
- Oh, a struggling writer.
144
00:06:02,144 --> 00:06:05,669
- Yes. Yes, I am.
- Well, you're in luck.
145
00:06:05,756 --> 00:06:08,455
I happen to be a big
supporter of the arts.
146
00:06:08,542 --> 00:06:11,327
Oh, really?
How fortuitous.
147
00:06:11,414 --> 00:06:14,852
Ooh, "Fortuitous."
You are a writer.
148
00:06:14,939 --> 00:06:17,377
Listen, uh, what do you
say we go grab a bite to eat
149
00:06:17,464 --> 00:06:19,727
get the car fixed later?
150
00:06:19,814 --> 00:06:22,730
Sure. There's-there's a really
great deli right up here.
151
00:06:22,817 --> 00:06:25,602
Well, actually, I have
a better place in mind.
152
00:06:25,689 --> 00:06:27,691
- Where's that?
- My house.
153
00:06:27,778 --> 00:06:30,259
Oh. What's on the menu there?
154
00:06:32,957 --> 00:06:34,306
Oh.
155
00:06:35,960 --> 00:06:37,135
Yum.
156
00:06:39,094 --> 00:06:40,748
♪ Men ♪♪
157
00:06:41,749 --> 00:06:44,316
- Hi.
- Hi.
158
00:06:44,404 --> 00:06:46,014
What you doin'?
159
00:06:46,101 --> 00:06:47,319
[Lyndsey on screen]
Nothing much.
160
00:06:47,407 --> 00:06:49,104
How about we go out to a movie?
161
00:06:49,191 --> 00:06:50,932
- Sure, we could do that.
- Great, great.
162
00:06:51,019 --> 00:06:53,500
I will check some times.
163
00:06:53,587 --> 00:06:55,415
- 'Alan?'
- Yeah?
164
00:06:55,502 --> 00:06:57,808
Did you think about what
we discussed last night?
165
00:06:57,895 --> 00:06:58,896
Oh, yes, oh, yes.
166
00:06:58,983 --> 00:07:01,203
Thinking about it constantly.
167
00:07:01,290 --> 00:07:03,118
Anything you wanna talk about?
168
00:07:03,205 --> 00:07:05,816
Not yet. Still thinkin'.
169
00:07:05,903 --> 00:07:09,385
Uh, you know, uh,
percolating, uh, mulling.
170
00:07:09,472 --> 00:07:12,562
All the other
pertinent "ings."
171
00:07:12,649 --> 00:07:15,826
Ooh, ooh, uh,
uh, cogitating!
172
00:07:15,913 --> 00:07:18,176
Stalling, avoiding, ducking.
173
00:07:18,263 --> 00:07:20,091
Ooh! Procrastinating.
174
00:07:20,178 --> 00:07:22,616
What? No, no.
That's, that's crazy.
175
00:07:22,703 --> 00:07:24,313
I'm not, I'm not doing
any of those things.
176
00:07:24,400 --> 00:07:26,184
I mean, why would
I do those things?
177
00:07:26,271 --> 00:07:28,839
So what movie
would you like to see?
178
00:07:28,926 --> 00:07:31,233
I know what you're doing.
This is not gonna go away.
179
00:07:31,320 --> 00:07:32,669
Look, I just don't understand
180
00:07:32,756 --> 00:07:34,497
why we can't keep
things the way they are.
181
00:07:34,584 --> 00:07:36,194
You mean,
living day-to-day
182
00:07:36,281 --> 00:07:38,109
never knowing what kind of
future you have with the person
183
00:07:38,196 --> 00:07:40,634
you've been in a relationship
with the past three years?
184
00:07:40,721 --> 00:07:43,811
Okay, I-I-I prefer to think
of it as cherishingeach day
185
00:07:43,898 --> 00:07:46,944
nay each moment
with the woman I love
186
00:07:47,031 --> 00:07:49,643
because none of us knows
how much time we have left.
187
00:07:49,730 --> 00:07:51,688
I mean, it-it-it
could all disappear
188
00:07:51,775 --> 00:07:53,473
in the, in the blink of an eye.
189
00:07:53,560 --> 00:07:54,735
You mean like this?
190
00:07:57,433 --> 00:07:58,695
Exactly.
191
00:07:59,740 --> 00:08:01,611
♪ Men ♪♪
192
00:08:01,698 --> 00:08:04,135
Well, it would appear that
a bicycle's not the only thing
193
00:08:04,222 --> 00:08:06,486
you can ride.
194
00:08:06,573 --> 00:08:09,010
I'm also good with bulls
and merry-go-rounds.
195
00:08:10,446 --> 00:08:12,883
Did you enjoy
your lunch?
196
00:08:12,970 --> 00:08:14,406
Oh, yeah.
197
00:08:14,494 --> 00:08:16,408
I would definitely
eat here again.
198
00:08:18,933 --> 00:08:20,761
Mm. Mm.
199
00:08:22,763 --> 00:08:24,721
Do you mind
taking a taxi home?
200
00:08:26,418 --> 00:08:29,030
Uh, sure, no problem.
201
00:08:29,117 --> 00:08:30,988
I'd drive you, I just
have some things to do.
202
00:08:32,686 --> 00:08:33,861
Okay.
203
00:08:33,948 --> 00:08:36,167
So...then we're done here?
204
00:08:37,691 --> 00:08:38,822
I am.
205
00:08:40,650 --> 00:08:42,522
Okay. Alrighty then.
206
00:08:45,829 --> 00:08:48,179
You know, uh, we
should do this again.
207
00:08:48,266 --> 00:08:50,225
Oh, we will.
I'll let you know when.
208
00:08:51,792 --> 00:08:55,056
- Alrighty.
- Oh...here.
209
00:08:57,058 --> 00:08:58,363
What's this?
210
00:08:58,450 --> 00:09:00,975
- It's money for a taxi.
- I don't need that.
211
00:09:01,062 --> 00:09:03,630
Sweetie, don't be proud.
Take the money.
212
00:09:07,155 --> 00:09:08,591
Okay, great.
213
00:09:10,462 --> 00:09:11,594
Thank you.
214
00:09:11,681 --> 00:09:13,204
♪ Men ♪♪
215
00:09:17,165 --> 00:09:18,732
♪ Men ♪♪
216
00:09:20,385 --> 00:09:22,605
- Hey, hey!
- Hey!
217
00:09:22,692 --> 00:09:24,955
Where have you been?
218
00:09:25,042 --> 00:09:27,828
I got some good news and I
got some bad news for ya.
219
00:09:27,915 --> 00:09:29,003
What's the bad news?
220
00:09:29,090 --> 00:09:31,135
Your car overheated
and broke down.
221
00:09:31,222 --> 00:09:33,268
Ah! I should have told you
not to turn on the radio.
222
00:09:36,314 --> 00:09:37,838
So, uh, what's the good news?
223
00:09:37,925 --> 00:09:39,840
This beautiful woman pulls up
224
00:09:39,927 --> 00:09:42,320
in a Bentley and offers me help
225
00:09:42,407 --> 00:09:43,757
and then she takes
me back to her house
226
00:09:43,844 --> 00:09:46,498
and bangs my brains out.
227
00:09:46,586 --> 00:09:48,109
H-h-how is that
good news for me?
228
00:09:48,196 --> 00:09:49,284
Oh, sorry, I misspoke.
229
00:09:49,371 --> 00:09:50,677
The bad news was for you
230
00:09:50,764 --> 00:09:52,679
the good news was for me.
231
00:09:52,766 --> 00:09:54,463
Do you have any idea how
many times I've been stranded
232
00:09:54,550 --> 00:09:56,204
by the side of the road
'cause of that car?
233
00:09:56,291 --> 00:09:57,988
The only person who ever
stopped was a truck driver
234
00:09:58,075 --> 00:10:00,687
with no pants
and drawn-on eyebrows.
235
00:10:00,774 --> 00:10:02,340
She also gave me
money for a taxi.
236
00:10:02,427 --> 00:10:04,908
- I hate you.
- I know, right?
237
00:10:04,995 --> 00:10:06,518
How was your day?
238
00:10:06,606 --> 00:10:08,042
I'm pretty sure
Lyndsey and I broke up.
239
00:10:08,129 --> 00:10:10,653
Oh, man.
240
00:10:10,740 --> 00:10:12,176
I'm sorry.
241
00:10:12,263 --> 00:10:14,483
I-I really liked Lyndsey.
I thought she was great.
242
00:10:14,570 --> 00:10:16,790
Yeah, well, she is great,
but I'm not gonna be bullied
243
00:10:16,877 --> 00:10:18,052
into spending the rest
of my life with somebody
244
00:10:18,139 --> 00:10:19,662
just 'cause they're great.
245
00:10:19,749 --> 00:10:22,317
Who would? It's like being
forced to win the lotto.
246
00:10:24,754 --> 00:10:27,235
Wait a minute. If you took
a cab home, where's my car?
247
00:10:29,367 --> 00:10:30,455
Huh.
248
00:10:32,501 --> 00:10:34,372
Here's a 100 bucks.
Buy a better car.
249
00:10:37,985 --> 00:10:40,335
♪ Men ♪♪
250
00:10:40,422 --> 00:10:41,902
So, you ready
for round two?
251
00:10:41,989 --> 00:10:44,687
Oh, right now?
252
00:10:44,774 --> 00:10:48,038
Um, well, could we
just talk a little
253
00:10:48,125 --> 00:10:51,651
while...the boys, you know,
restock the shelves?
254
00:10:53,261 --> 00:10:55,785
Yeah, sure, let's talk.
255
00:10:55,872 --> 00:11:00,311
Um, how are things...
going with your book?
256
00:11:00,398 --> 00:11:02,966
How's...with the what?
257
00:11:03,053 --> 00:11:05,621
Your book? The one
you're trying to finish?
258
00:11:05,708 --> 00:11:07,623
Oh, about the book..
259
00:11:08,580 --> 00:11:10,365
Good.
260
00:11:10,452 --> 00:11:11,714
It's good.
261
00:11:11,801 --> 00:11:13,716
It's going good.
262
00:11:14,978 --> 00:11:16,850
Writing words.
263
00:11:18,155 --> 00:11:20,027
Making sentences.
264
00:11:21,158 --> 00:11:22,116
What's it about?
265
00:11:22,203 --> 00:11:23,465
Okay, um...yeah.
266
00:11:23,552 --> 00:11:25,293
It's about this, uh..
267
00:11:25,380 --> 00:11:29,123
...guy...named Alan.
268
00:11:29,210 --> 00:11:31,734
Mm-hmm.
269
00:11:31,821 --> 00:11:33,475
He, and he-he lives
with his brother
270
00:11:33,562 --> 00:11:37,566
in this, uh, fabulous
Malibu beach house.
271
00:11:39,394 --> 00:11:40,525
And?
272
00:11:42,397 --> 00:11:46,140
And...the brother dies.
273
00:11:46,227 --> 00:11:49,056
He falls in front
of a train in Paris.
274
00:11:50,318 --> 00:11:52,407
Wow. Didn't
see that coming.
275
00:11:54,235 --> 00:11:56,193
Neither did he.
276
00:11:59,980 --> 00:12:03,810
Anyway, this, uh, this
billionaire named Wal...ter
277
00:12:05,289 --> 00:12:08,379
comes along and he
buys the house
278
00:12:08,466 --> 00:12:12,644
and then, and Alan
continues to live there.
279
00:12:12,732 --> 00:12:14,777
Wait. With
a complete stranger?
280
00:12:14,864 --> 00:12:15,822
Yeah.
281
00:12:17,171 --> 00:12:21,218
- Are they gay?
- No. No, no.
282
00:12:21,305 --> 00:12:23,525
They-they're just,
they're just friends.
283
00:12:23,612 --> 00:12:26,093
That's a bit
far-fetched, isn't it?
284
00:12:26,180 --> 00:12:28,182
What? No.
285
00:12:28,269 --> 00:12:30,140
That's totally plausible.
286
00:12:31,925 --> 00:12:34,057
They have these
adventures together.
287
00:12:36,625 --> 00:12:38,540
It's funny.
288
00:12:40,847 --> 00:12:42,718
It's a good thing
you're pretty.
289
00:12:46,809 --> 00:12:48,637
♪ Men ♪♪
290
00:12:50,726 --> 00:12:51,945
Hey.
291
00:12:52,728 --> 00:12:53,903
Whoa!
292
00:12:56,384 --> 00:12:58,690
Look at you.
Bought some new clothes, huh?
293
00:12:58,778 --> 00:13:00,518
Nope.
294
00:13:00,605 --> 00:13:03,608
Somebody bought
new clothes for me.
295
00:13:03,695 --> 00:13:07,177
Shari took her boy toy
shopping in Beverly Hills.
296
00:13:07,264 --> 00:13:09,658
I felt like Julia Roberts
in "Pretty Woman."
297
00:13:13,314 --> 00:13:14,750
The only thing I got
from the truck driver
298
00:13:14,837 --> 00:13:16,926
was a pack of cigarettes
and an eyebrow pencil.
299
00:13:18,580 --> 00:13:20,408
Yeah, I gotta tell
you, it is nice
300
00:13:20,495 --> 00:13:21,713
to be taken care
of for a change.
301
00:13:21,801 --> 00:13:23,759
Well, look who I'm talkin' to.
302
00:13:25,282 --> 00:13:28,155
Alright, I'm gonna
go do some manscaping.
303
00:13:28,242 --> 00:13:30,113
Mama like me smooth.
304
00:13:31,375 --> 00:13:33,203
[Skype call tone]
305
00:13:33,290 --> 00:13:35,597
- Oh, hey, buddy.
- Hey, dad.
306
00:13:35,684 --> 00:13:37,773
Well, this is a nice surprise.
W-what's going on?
307
00:13:37,860 --> 00:13:40,167
Well, I heard from Eldridge
that you and his mom broke up
308
00:13:40,254 --> 00:13:41,821
so I'm just checking in
to see how you're doing.
309
00:13:41,908 --> 00:13:43,823
That is really
sweet of you, Jake
310
00:13:43,910 --> 00:13:45,520
to be concerned
about your old man.
311
00:13:45,607 --> 00:13:46,913
Well, I love you, dad.
312
00:13:47,000 --> 00:13:49,263
- I want you to be happy.
- Thank you.
313
00:13:49,350 --> 00:13:50,917
And, you know, you've
always been there for me.
314
00:13:51,004 --> 00:13:52,832
Now I get to be here for you.
315
00:13:52,919 --> 00:13:54,572
That's true.
316
00:13:54,659 --> 00:13:57,488
- Speaking of which--
- How much?
317
00:13:57,575 --> 00:13:59,664
A couple of 100 bucks would
make it a Merry Christmas
318
00:13:59,751 --> 00:14:01,188
for all the people I love.
319
00:14:01,275 --> 00:14:02,798
Alright, Jake,
I'll take care of it.
320
00:14:02,885 --> 00:14:05,018
Oh, thank you, dad.
Love you, bye.
321
00:14:05,105 --> 00:14:06,584
Bye.
322
00:14:06,671 --> 00:14:09,239
Totally worked!
We're going to Tijuana!
323
00:14:14,375 --> 00:14:16,812
Totally worked. He thinks
I'm sending him money.
324
00:14:17,639 --> 00:14:19,119
♪ Men ♪♪
325
00:14:20,642 --> 00:14:23,123
Um. Excuse me.
Is this seat taken?
326
00:14:23,210 --> 00:14:24,559
Sit.
327
00:14:24,646 --> 00:14:25,821
But if a lady comes along
328
00:14:25,908 --> 00:14:27,867
I'm gonna have to
ask you to vacate.
329
00:14:29,564 --> 00:14:31,566
Right back at you.
330
00:14:31,653 --> 00:14:33,046
I'm not worried.
331
00:14:37,006 --> 00:14:39,617
- Sid Olsen.
- Oh. Nice to meet you.
332
00:14:39,704 --> 00:14:41,619
Uh, Alan Harper.
333
00:14:41,706 --> 00:14:44,361
So, Alvin,
you play the ponies?
334
00:14:44,448 --> 00:14:46,886
Uh, I'm not much
of a gambler.
335
00:14:46,973 --> 00:14:49,627
I don't know, that
shirt's kind of a gamble.
336
00:14:52,108 --> 00:14:55,068
So, uh, what, uh,
brings you in here, Sid?
337
00:14:55,155 --> 00:14:57,984
Besides dispensing
fashion advice?
338
00:14:58,071 --> 00:14:59,942
I like to get out,
make the rounds
339
00:15:00,029 --> 00:15:02,814
you know, talk to
the young people.
340
00:15:02,902 --> 00:15:05,165
But I'll talk to you
until one comes along.
341
00:15:06,731 --> 00:15:09,169
Whether I like it or not.
342
00:15:09,256 --> 00:15:11,649
Oh, I got some more
advice for you, Albert.
343
00:15:11,736 --> 00:15:13,129
When you get to be my age
344
00:15:13,216 --> 00:15:16,045
always bring a big
plastic cup into the john.
345
00:15:16,132 --> 00:15:17,177
Why?
346
00:15:17,264 --> 00:15:18,743
You gotta lower
the water level
347
00:15:18,830 --> 00:15:21,268
or your nuts get wet.
348
00:15:21,355 --> 00:15:22,965
Oh, excuse me,
darlin', darlin'.
349
00:15:23,052 --> 00:15:24,880
Could we have some
more wings, please?
350
00:15:24,967 --> 00:15:26,360
I'll have
a beer, please.
351
00:15:26,447 --> 00:15:28,362
You know, it's
all-you-can-eat for $6.99.
352
00:15:28,449 --> 00:15:29,885
It's also dollar beers.
353
00:15:29,972 --> 00:15:32,453
Yeah, I don't drink beer.
It gives me the wind.
354
00:15:35,064 --> 00:15:36,979
What's your
problem, Alfred?
355
00:15:37,066 --> 00:15:39,460
- I don't have a problem.
- Oh, come on.
356
00:15:39,547 --> 00:15:41,244
You're in a bar at
four o'clock in the afternoon
357
00:15:41,331 --> 00:15:43,638
talking to an 80-year-old
man about his balls.
358
00:15:45,596 --> 00:15:47,076
You got a problem.
359
00:15:49,035 --> 00:15:52,690
Fine. I-I guess, uh, I've been
having relationship issues.
360
00:15:52,777 --> 00:15:55,867
Ah, I get it. I'm having
trouble with my wife.
361
00:15:55,955 --> 00:15:58,479
- What's the matter?
- She's dead.
362
00:15:58,566 --> 00:16:00,655
Oh, oh, I'm, I'm sorry.
363
00:16:00,742 --> 00:16:02,222
Ah, so am I.
364
00:16:02,309 --> 00:16:03,701
If she were still alive,
I wouldn't have to be
365
00:16:03,788 --> 00:16:05,747
talking to you.
366
00:16:05,834 --> 00:16:07,618
Now we both wish she was alive.
367
00:16:09,446 --> 00:16:10,578
Zing.
368
00:16:13,885 --> 00:16:16,801
Our marriage was the best
30 years of my life.
369
00:16:16,888 --> 00:16:19,500
My only complaint was
that she couldn't cook.
370
00:16:19,587 --> 00:16:21,719
The woman could
screw up iced tea.
371
00:16:21,806 --> 00:16:24,070
I mean, you know
the recipe for iced tea?
372
00:16:24,157 --> 00:16:26,681
It's ice...tea. Done!
373
00:16:29,423 --> 00:16:32,774
Well, I guess you have
to take the good with the bad.
374
00:16:32,861 --> 00:16:34,515
You're smarter
than you look.
375
00:16:36,212 --> 00:16:39,041
You got a good one,
you gotta hang on to her.
376
00:16:39,128 --> 00:16:41,217
Yeah, but how do you know
you've got a good one?
377
00:16:41,304 --> 00:16:42,697
Well, you don't always know.
378
00:16:42,784 --> 00:16:44,699
Sometimes you just
gotta take the leap.
379
00:16:47,745 --> 00:16:49,399
Ah, here we go.
Thank you.
380
00:16:49,486 --> 00:16:51,271
Thank you very much.
381
00:16:51,358 --> 00:16:52,794
Uh-h-h..
382
00:16:54,404 --> 00:16:56,145
These are for my cat.
383
00:17:00,584 --> 00:17:01,933
I don't have a cat.
384
00:17:05,459 --> 00:17:08,679
Well, it was great
talking to you, Archie.
385
00:17:09,811 --> 00:17:11,291
Alan.
386
00:17:11,378 --> 00:17:12,509
Sid.
387
00:17:15,773 --> 00:17:17,601
Here's my card.
388
00:17:17,688 --> 00:17:19,516
Oh. Thanks.
389
00:17:19,603 --> 00:17:21,518
I'll call you
if I need a wing-man.
390
00:17:23,651 --> 00:17:25,479
Get it? Uh, a wing-man.
391
00:17:25,566 --> 00:17:26,958
The, the chicken?
392
00:17:28,134 --> 00:17:30,049
Leave the jokes
to me, chuckles.
393
00:17:32,051 --> 00:17:35,184
Aw, jeez.
I forgot my wallet.
394
00:17:35,271 --> 00:17:37,056
Don't worry.
I've got it.
395
00:17:37,143 --> 00:17:39,058
Thank you. Much appreciated.
396
00:17:42,061 --> 00:17:44,019
Works every time.
397
00:17:45,368 --> 00:17:47,022
♪ Men ♪♪
398
00:17:47,936 --> 00:17:49,329
[doorbell rings]
399
00:17:52,767 --> 00:17:54,160
- Alan?
- We need to talk.
400
00:17:54,247 --> 00:17:56,684
Oh, really?
Now you want to talk.
401
00:17:56,771 --> 00:17:59,208
I don't know, you just
kind of sprung this on me.
402
00:17:59,295 --> 00:18:02,603
Okay, I deserved that.
But just listen, please.
403
00:18:02,690 --> 00:18:03,908
Go ahead.
404
00:18:03,995 --> 00:18:05,171
I've just come
405
00:18:05,258 --> 00:18:07,999
to the realization that..
406
00:18:08,087 --> 00:18:11,090
...I don't want to end up alone
with my nuts in the toilet.
407
00:18:11,177 --> 00:18:14,528
- What?
- All I know is this.
408
00:18:14,615 --> 00:18:16,878
I was scared
because every time
409
00:18:16,965 --> 00:18:18,923
I've made
a commitment to a woman
410
00:18:19,010 --> 00:18:21,535
it's blown up in my face.
411
00:18:21,622 --> 00:18:26,366
But...I'd rather be scared
than risk losing you.
412
00:18:27,889 --> 00:18:29,978
I-I want to be
with you forever.
413
00:18:30,065 --> 00:18:33,721
Ah. That's all I
ever wanted to hear.
414
00:18:33,808 --> 00:18:35,462
I-I love you, Lyndsey.
415
00:18:35,549 --> 00:18:38,378
And as soon as I can
save enough money
416
00:18:38,465 --> 00:18:41,685
I'm gonna...put a deposit
down on an engagement ring.
417
00:18:43,078 --> 00:18:46,081
You don't have to
buy me some dumb ring.
418
00:18:46,168 --> 00:18:48,039
That's all I ever
wanted to hear.
419
00:18:49,606 --> 00:18:51,086
♪ Men ♪♪
420
00:18:51,173 --> 00:18:52,305
[doorbell rings]
421
00:18:58,702 --> 00:18:59,703
Yeah?
422
00:18:59,790 --> 00:19:02,489
Is your mom here?
423
00:19:02,576 --> 00:19:03,925
My mom?
424
00:19:05,970 --> 00:19:07,842
Walden, what are you doing here?
425
00:19:07,929 --> 00:19:09,931
Well, I just wanted
to surprise you.
426
00:19:10,018 --> 00:19:12,629
Oh, that's very sweet.
427
00:19:12,716 --> 00:19:14,501
Baby, go put these in water.
428
00:19:15,154 --> 00:19:16,242
Yeah.
429
00:19:18,200 --> 00:19:21,247
Honey, you really have
to call before you come over.
430
00:19:21,334 --> 00:19:24,119
What's up with
the kid from "Twilight?"
431
00:19:24,206 --> 00:19:27,818
Oh, uh, he works
at Foot Locker.
432
00:19:27,905 --> 00:19:30,821
You know, he's like you, he
just has a little more ambition.
433
00:19:30,908 --> 00:19:33,955
[chuckling]
Ambition? You're kidding me.
434
00:19:34,042 --> 00:19:35,522
Oh, no, don't take
that the wrong way.
435
00:19:35,609 --> 00:19:38,002
I mean, you are very
good at what you can do.
436
00:19:39,221 --> 00:19:40,918
Okay.
437
00:19:41,005 --> 00:19:42,746
I'm a billionaire.
438
00:19:42,833 --> 00:19:44,270
I own my own company.
439
00:19:44,357 --> 00:19:46,141
Oh. There's that imagination.
440
00:19:46,228 --> 00:19:48,883
Hey, that's what you
should be writing about.
441
00:19:48,970 --> 00:19:50,798
I'll call you, okay?
442
00:19:50,885 --> 00:19:52,756
I own my own freakin' jet!
443
00:19:57,892 --> 00:20:00,764
That's it. I'm going
to buy Foot Locker.
444
00:20:00,851 --> 00:20:02,418
♪ Men ♪♪
445
00:20:07,771 --> 00:20:09,469
♪ Men ♪♪
446
00:20:15,866 --> 00:20:18,217
Thank you for inviting
me over, Alfonso.
447
00:20:19,130 --> 00:20:20,828
No problem.
448
00:20:20,915 --> 00:20:22,786
You too, Winston.
449
00:20:22,873 --> 00:20:25,049
Any time, Sid.
450
00:20:25,136 --> 00:20:27,922
Look, I don't want to
tar anybody else's roof
451
00:20:28,009 --> 00:20:29,924
but either one of you
tappin' the hot redhead?
452
00:20:31,491 --> 00:20:32,492
[both]
No.
453
00:20:34,145 --> 00:20:35,973
Mind if I take
a swing at her?
454
00:20:36,060 --> 00:20:37,366
Go right ahead.
455
00:20:37,453 --> 00:20:39,020
Yeah, she might
swing back.
456
00:20:39,107 --> 00:20:41,022
Good. I like 'em feisty.
457
00:20:48,769 --> 00:20:50,640
This may take a minute.
458
00:20:52,468 --> 00:20:54,340
Is your friend
pool that shallow?
459
00:20:58,605 --> 00:21:00,650
Hey, red, you
like chicken wings?
460
00:21:02,783 --> 00:21:04,001
♪ Men ♪♪
461
00:21:06,743 --> 00:21:10,051
♪ Men men men men
manly men men men ♪
462
00:21:10,138 --> 00:21:13,315
♪ Men men men men
manly men men men ♪
463
00:21:13,402 --> 00:21:16,275
♪ Men men men men manly men ♪
464
00:21:16,362 --> 00:21:18,320
♪ Ooh hoo-hoo hoo-hoo hoo ooh ♪
465
00:21:18,407 --> 00:21:21,715
♪ Men men men men
manly men men men ♪
466
00:21:21,802 --> 00:21:24,457
♪ Men men men men
manly men men men ♪
467
00:21:24,544 --> 00:21:26,589
♪ Ha ah ha-a-ah ♪♪ Men ♪♪
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