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1
00:00:08,390 --> 00:00:10,723
( music playing )
2
00:00:37,807 --> 00:00:39,306
( birds chirping )
3
00:00:51,765 --> 00:00:54,932
( playing "Ode to Joy" from
Beethoven's 9th on trumpet )
4
00:01:11,515 --> 00:01:14,099
( continues playing )
5
00:01:29,099 --> 00:01:30,890
( stops playing )
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00:01:30,974 --> 00:01:32,306
( exhales )
7
00:01:40,265 --> 00:01:43,099
Man:
Dear Mr. Mulvahill,
I sincerely hope
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00:01:43,182 --> 00:01:44,848
that this letter finds you
spiritually, mentally,
9
00:01:44,932 --> 00:01:46,848
and physically well.
10
00:01:46,932 --> 00:01:48,390
You likely won't remember me,
11
00:01:48,473 --> 00:01:51,265
so please allow me
to reintroduce myself.
12
00:01:51,348 --> 00:01:53,598
My name is Jim Herbers.
13
00:01:53,682 --> 00:01:58,265
I attended Franklin Elementary
from 1974 through 1979,
14
00:01:58,348 --> 00:02:00,723
where you coached baseball
and taught music
15
00:02:00,807 --> 00:02:03,473
to kindergarten
through 3rd grade.
16
00:02:03,556 --> 00:02:06,598
I was an ordinary child who,
from an early age,
17
00:02:06,682 --> 00:02:10,306
had ordinary aspirations
to lead an ordinary life.
18
00:02:11,974 --> 00:02:15,390
But all that changed
when I was in 3rd grade--
19
00:02:15,473 --> 00:02:17,515
when I met you.
20
00:02:17,598 --> 00:02:20,390
I am hoping that you will be
kind enough to meet with me.
21
00:02:20,473 --> 00:02:23,182
I have longed for many years
to meet face-to-face,
22
00:02:23,265 --> 00:02:27,224
and have only recently
gathered the courage to ask.
23
00:02:27,306 --> 00:02:29,974
You will receive
a second letter from me
this afternoon
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00:02:30,057 --> 00:02:31,765
outlining the specific
time and place
25
00:02:31,848 --> 00:02:33,848
at which I would like
to meet tomorrow.
26
00:02:36,723 --> 00:02:40,807
And while I realize
this may seem an odd
and presumptuous request,
27
00:02:40,890 --> 00:02:42,431
I remind you that
as a former teacher
28
00:02:42,515 --> 00:02:44,140
your primary role in life
29
00:02:44,224 --> 00:02:47,848
was to profoundly impact
the lives of your students.
30
00:02:50,723 --> 00:02:54,640
I can assure you that no one
was more profoundly impacted
31
00:02:54,723 --> 00:02:58,057
by the short time
we spent together than me.
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00:02:59,807 --> 00:03:02,431
Sincerely, Jim Herbers.
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00:03:16,932 --> 00:03:18,306
( knocking on door )
34
00:03:29,473 --> 00:03:30,932
( knocking on door )
35
00:03:40,765 --> 00:03:41,807
Jim?
36
00:03:41,890 --> 00:03:44,099
Mr. Mulvahill?
37
00:03:44,182 --> 00:03:47,182
( chuckling )
Yes. That's me.
38
00:03:48,848 --> 00:03:51,099
I-I'm sorry, I just--
39
00:03:51,182 --> 00:03:52,556
it's been so long.
40
00:03:52,640 --> 00:03:54,515
( stammers )
41
00:03:54,598 --> 00:03:56,265
It's really you?
42
00:03:56,348 --> 00:03:58,224
Well, I hope I'm him.
43
00:03:58,306 --> 00:04:01,099
I'm wearing his underwear.
44
00:04:01,182 --> 00:04:02,515
( chuckles )
45
00:04:02,598 --> 00:04:05,015
( laughs )
Please come in.
46
00:04:05,099 --> 00:04:06,431
I'm sorry, I just--
47
00:04:06,515 --> 00:04:09,099
No, no, it's--
it's quite all right.
48
00:04:14,057 --> 00:04:18,099
Well, I-- I guess
you've grown a few inches
49
00:04:18,182 --> 00:04:20,473
since we last
saw each other.
50
00:04:20,556 --> 00:04:22,015
You remember me?
51
00:04:22,099 --> 00:04:24,057
( awkward laugh )
52
00:04:24,140 --> 00:04:27,057
I carry all my students
with me.
53
00:04:28,390 --> 00:04:30,431
How?
54
00:04:30,515 --> 00:04:32,431
I'm sorry. How?
55
00:04:32,515 --> 00:04:34,640
Yes, how?
56
00:04:34,723 --> 00:04:38,598
It's just a figure of speech.
I--
57
00:04:38,682 --> 00:04:40,099
I...
58
00:04:40,182 --> 00:04:43,390
You're all
a part of my life.
59
00:04:43,473 --> 00:04:44,682
I understand.
60
00:04:47,182 --> 00:04:49,598
So, I was pleased
to get your letter.
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00:04:49,682 --> 00:04:54,556
I have to confess
that I do have an appointment
this afternoon,
62
00:04:54,640 --> 00:04:57,848
but I'm eager to hear
whatever it is
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00:04:57,932 --> 00:04:59,640
you wanted to discuss with me.
64
00:05:02,057 --> 00:05:04,099
Mr. Mulvahill, I--
65
00:05:04,182 --> 00:05:06,682
I can't thank you enough
for coming today.
66
00:05:06,765 --> 00:05:09,140
You have no idea
how much this means to me.
67
00:05:09,224 --> 00:05:12,974
It's no trouble at all.
Really.
68
00:05:13,057 --> 00:05:14,807
Please. Have a seat.
69
00:05:14,890 --> 00:05:16,848
- Oh. Thank you.
- OK.
70
00:05:22,723 --> 00:05:27,099
( playing "Ode to Joy"
with many wrong notes )
71
00:05:37,890 --> 00:05:39,640
( finishes tune )
72
00:05:39,723 --> 00:05:41,890
( panting )
73
00:05:46,682 --> 00:05:48,265
You remember?
74
00:05:50,140 --> 00:05:52,723
Do you mean
the piece of music?
75
00:05:52,807 --> 00:05:56,515
It's the 4th movement
of Beethoven's 9th Symphony.
76
00:05:56,598 --> 00:05:59,348
- "The Ode to Joy."
- His final symphony.
77
00:05:59,431 --> 00:06:01,598
That's correct.
( chuckling )
78
00:06:03,723 --> 00:06:05,848
The year was 1978,
79
00:06:05,932 --> 00:06:07,974
I was in the 3rd grade,
you were
80
00:06:08,057 --> 00:06:09,598
teaching us all music.
81
00:06:09,682 --> 00:06:11,848
And we were trying to decide
82
00:06:11,932 --> 00:06:14,099
what to play
for the spring concert.
83
00:06:14,182 --> 00:06:16,306
And all the kids wanted to play
the overture to Star Wars.
84
00:06:16,390 --> 00:06:18,974
The movie had
just been released, and made
85
00:06:19,057 --> 00:06:20,348
quite an impression
on all of us.
86
00:06:20,431 --> 00:06:22,598
I was behind that idea
a hundred percent.
87
00:06:22,682 --> 00:06:24,598
Do you remember?
88
00:06:24,682 --> 00:06:28,848
No? Well, you were having
none of it, Mr. Mulvahill,
let me tell you.
89
00:06:28,932 --> 00:06:30,556
( laughing )
90
00:06:30,640 --> 00:06:34,057
You said, while the music
might be exciting to us,
91
00:06:34,140 --> 00:06:35,556
it was highly derivative
92
00:06:35,640 --> 00:06:38,182
and wasn't worth our attention.
93
00:06:38,265 --> 00:06:39,890
Ha!
94
00:06:39,974 --> 00:06:41,932
Then...
95
00:06:42,015 --> 00:06:44,182
you told us...
96
00:06:44,265 --> 00:06:47,932
about Ludwig van Beethoven.
97
00:06:48,015 --> 00:06:53,390
His dark and fiery
compositions
made him a star,
98
00:06:53,473 --> 00:06:56,015
and yet, his personal life
99
00:06:56,099 --> 00:06:59,848
was filled with pain
and deeply troubled.
100
00:07:01,390 --> 00:07:03,807
Which got even worse
as he lost his hearing.
101
00:07:03,890 --> 00:07:05,932
Can you imagine
the ultimate tragedy?
102
00:07:06,015 --> 00:07:10,099
A composer losing their hearing.
103
00:07:10,182 --> 00:07:14,224
And that for
the final movement
of his final symphony,
104
00:07:14,306 --> 00:07:18,556
in a stroke of irony,
he composed an ode...
105
00:07:18,640 --> 00:07:21,723
- to joy.
- To joy.
106
00:07:21,807 --> 00:07:24,765
He even brought in a chorus
to sing along with the music.
107
00:07:24,848 --> 00:07:26,348
Yes, yes.
108
00:07:29,890 --> 00:07:32,556
Well, needless to say,
the children of the class
109
00:07:32,640 --> 00:07:35,765
did not approve
of your choice,
Mr. Mulvahill.
110
00:07:35,848 --> 00:07:37,224
( laughs )
111
00:07:37,306 --> 00:07:39,431
But I just wanted
to thank you
112
00:07:39,515 --> 00:07:43,265
for playing "Ode to Joy"
for me that day.
113
00:07:43,348 --> 00:07:47,807
For teaching me
that even though a man may live
a deeply troubled life
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00:07:47,890 --> 00:07:50,932
and come up against...
115
00:07:51,015 --> 00:07:53,640
unbelievable obstacles
116
00:07:53,723 --> 00:07:56,473
over which he has no control,
117
00:07:56,556 --> 00:08:00,182
to which he might be
an innocent victim,
118
00:08:00,265 --> 00:08:02,723
even if he's...
119
00:08:02,807 --> 00:08:07,015
drowning
in darkness and fear
120
00:08:07,099 --> 00:08:10,807
and despair
and isolation...
121
00:08:10,890 --> 00:08:15,099
that every person
has the opportunity
122
00:08:15,182 --> 00:08:19,015
to... end their life
123
00:08:19,099 --> 00:08:22,431
with an ode to joy.
124
00:08:28,723 --> 00:08:31,556
I desperately want
to believe that.
125
00:08:31,640 --> 00:08:35,974
And, ironically enough,
it's you I have to thank
126
00:08:36,057 --> 00:08:40,390
for this narrow strand of hope
127
00:08:40,473 --> 00:08:43,765
upon which... I now stand.
128
00:08:48,932 --> 00:08:50,224
Do you remember now?
129
00:08:55,556 --> 00:08:58,057
I-- I do. Uh...
130
00:08:58,140 --> 00:09:00,556
I-- I do remember it, Jim.
131
00:09:00,640 --> 00:09:04,682
And, uh, I'm so glad
132
00:09:04,765 --> 00:09:09,224
that... that it stayed with you.
133
00:09:15,015 --> 00:09:17,473
Well, I--
I should probably--
134
00:09:17,556 --> 00:09:20,140
Do you also remember
what happened after
all the other kids left?
135
00:09:21,890 --> 00:09:23,890
Uh, I'm sorry?
136
00:09:23,974 --> 00:09:27,515
Well, you remembered
the first portion of the day,
137
00:09:27,598 --> 00:09:31,348
I'm assuming
you remember the portion
that followed after.
138
00:09:31,431 --> 00:09:32,306
Hmm?
139
00:09:32,390 --> 00:09:34,224
( mirthless chuckle )
140
00:09:34,306 --> 00:09:36,515
I'm not sure, uh, really.
141
00:09:36,598 --> 00:09:38,598
But that's
the most seminal part
of it for me.
142
00:09:38,682 --> 00:09:40,807
That's the part
that affected me the most,
143
00:09:40,890 --> 00:09:43,640
you and me alone together
in the classroom.
144
00:09:45,598 --> 00:09:49,473
That's what...
made me the man I am today.
145
00:09:59,723 --> 00:10:01,348
Do you remember?
146
00:10:03,348 --> 00:10:05,348
Let me refresh
your memory.
147
00:10:07,723 --> 00:10:10,723
So, the kids
voted for Star Wars.
148
00:10:10,807 --> 00:10:13,099
You were disappointed,
but you handled it well.
149
00:10:13,182 --> 00:10:14,598
And then the bell rang,
150
00:10:14,682 --> 00:10:17,140
and all of
the other children left.
151
00:10:17,224 --> 00:10:22,015
And I came up to you
and I said
152
00:10:22,099 --> 00:10:24,057
that I really loved
"Ode to Joy"
153
00:10:24,140 --> 00:10:25,807
and I wanted to vote for it,
154
00:10:25,890 --> 00:10:28,224
but I was afraid
the other kids
would make fun of me.
155
00:10:28,306 --> 00:10:31,932
So I copped out
and I voted for Star Wars, too.
156
00:10:32,015 --> 00:10:34,182
And you were very sweet
about it,
157
00:10:34,265 --> 00:10:39,598
and you forgave me
for voting for Star Wars
and not for Beethoven.
158
00:10:39,682 --> 00:10:41,057
Then I turned to go,
159
00:10:41,140 --> 00:10:42,932
and then you stopped me
and said
160
00:10:43,015 --> 00:10:45,890
could I stay for a few minutes.
161
00:10:47,431 --> 00:10:49,932
Do you remember that?
162
00:10:51,265 --> 00:10:53,431
I-- I'm sorry, Jim, I--
163
00:10:53,515 --> 00:10:56,140
- I should be going.
- Just one-- one minute.
164
00:10:56,224 --> 00:10:57,348
Please.
165
00:10:58,848 --> 00:11:00,306
So...
166
00:11:00,390 --> 00:11:03,431
you asked me
to take out my trumpet--
that trumpet--
167
00:11:03,515 --> 00:11:06,515
and you handed me
the sheet music
for "Ode to Joy"
168
00:11:06,598 --> 00:11:08,265
and asked me
to play along with you.
169
00:11:08,348 --> 00:11:09,807
I was thrilled.
170
00:11:09,890 --> 00:11:11,848
I never got this kind
of attention at home.
171
00:11:11,932 --> 00:11:13,140
( laughs )
172
00:11:13,224 --> 00:11:15,723
You asked me
to close the door,
173
00:11:15,807 --> 00:11:17,015
and I did,
174
00:11:17,099 --> 00:11:19,598
and then
we started to play,
175
00:11:19,682 --> 00:11:21,265
me on the trumpet,
you on the piano.
176
00:11:21,348 --> 00:11:23,348
I played terribly,
of course,
177
00:11:23,431 --> 00:11:26,015
and you played brilliantly.
178
00:11:26,099 --> 00:11:29,515
And the whole time you...
smiled at me
179
00:11:29,598 --> 00:11:32,015
and nodded in encouragement.
180
00:11:32,099 --> 00:11:36,140
And it made me
feel so good about myself.
181
00:11:36,224 --> 00:11:37,848
Then we finished,
182
00:11:37,932 --> 00:11:40,015
and I put away the trumpet,
183
00:11:40,099 --> 00:11:44,265
and you looked me,
you smiled...
184
00:11:45,848 --> 00:11:47,890
...then you put your hand
on my knee.
185
00:11:50,140 --> 00:11:52,974
Can you remember
what you said?
186
00:11:57,224 --> 00:12:00,682
I-- I, uh, I don't. I--
187
00:12:00,765 --> 00:12:01,932
This one is important.
188
00:12:04,099 --> 00:12:06,640
This...
189
00:12:06,723 --> 00:12:08,807
is the most important.
190
00:12:11,640 --> 00:12:14,473
Can you remember
what happened next?
191
00:12:19,890 --> 00:12:22,057
I'm gonna need you
to remember.
192
00:12:22,140 --> 00:12:24,556
I'm gonna need you
to try harder.
193
00:12:24,640 --> 00:12:26,265
OK?
194
00:12:29,974 --> 00:12:31,348
No, I-- I--
195
00:12:31,431 --> 00:12:33,057
I'm gonna need you
to work harder.
196
00:12:33,140 --> 00:12:36,265
Because what happened
over the next four minutes
197
00:12:36,348 --> 00:12:39,306
entirely changed
the course of my life.
198
00:12:39,390 --> 00:12:42,390
So the least you can do
199
00:12:42,473 --> 00:12:44,890
is try and remember.
200
00:12:44,974 --> 00:12:49,015
Or admit-- Please.
201
00:12:49,099 --> 00:12:53,306
Tell me...
what you remember...
202
00:12:53,390 --> 00:12:55,390
about what happened next.
203
00:13:02,015 --> 00:13:02,932
I'm sorry.
204
00:13:03,015 --> 00:13:06,015
I simply don't remember.
205
00:13:12,224 --> 00:13:13,974
( exhales )
206
00:13:17,723 --> 00:13:20,099
OK.
207
00:13:20,182 --> 00:13:23,015
I'm disappointed,
but what can you do?
208
00:13:23,099 --> 00:13:26,640
I mean... you can't remember
what you can't remember.
209
00:13:26,723 --> 00:13:29,890
Thank you so much
for coming.
210
00:13:29,974 --> 00:13:33,473
And I sincerely hope
I haven't made you late
for your next appointment.
211
00:13:33,556 --> 00:13:37,640
Well, nice to see you, Jim,
and I hope everything--
212
00:13:37,723 --> 00:13:39,057
- Mr. Mulvahill!
- Yes?
213
00:13:51,224 --> 00:13:54,723
Jim ( echoing ):
If you scream, I'll have to
put a gag in your mouth.
214
00:13:59,431 --> 00:14:01,515
You won't like that.
215
00:14:04,390 --> 00:14:06,682
Plus, I rented
all the nearby rooms,
216
00:14:06,765 --> 00:14:09,265
so there's no one to help you.
217
00:14:09,348 --> 00:14:13,015
But I'm confident
that we can resolve this
218
00:14:13,099 --> 00:14:18,473
if we just cooperate together.
OK?
219
00:14:18,556 --> 00:14:20,515
I'm sorry I had
to hit you like that,
220
00:14:20,598 --> 00:14:22,473
but, as you'll soon realize,
221
00:14:22,556 --> 00:14:25,765
I needed to have you immobilized
for about ten minutes
222
00:14:25,848 --> 00:14:27,723
while we work through this.
223
00:14:27,807 --> 00:14:30,057
Now, I'm pretty sure you knew
what happened on that day
224
00:14:30,140 --> 00:14:32,390
and are lying to me right now.
225
00:14:32,473 --> 00:14:35,807
But there is the possibility
that you have forgotten
226
00:14:35,890 --> 00:14:40,890
or, even more likely,
that what was so seminal for me
227
00:14:40,974 --> 00:14:43,807
was merely commonplace for you.
228
00:14:45,390 --> 00:14:50,890
So, where were we? Ah, yes.
229
00:14:50,974 --> 00:14:55,265
Sitting down,
your hand on my knee,
the door was closed.
230
00:14:55,348 --> 00:14:57,057
You remember
what you said to me?
231
00:14:57,140 --> 00:14:59,932
You said, "Jim...
232
00:15:00,015 --> 00:15:02,306
I believe...
233
00:15:02,390 --> 00:15:05,140
that anything is possible
in this world."
234
00:15:07,224 --> 00:15:11,182
I remember basking
in the warm glow
of your smile,
235
00:15:11,265 --> 00:15:13,182
and for a moment I believed
236
00:15:13,265 --> 00:15:15,057
that maybe I could
have a beautiful life,
237
00:15:15,140 --> 00:15:18,515
maybe I could be a composer
one day,
238
00:15:18,598 --> 00:15:20,682
like Beethoven.
239
00:15:20,765 --> 00:15:22,723
And then...
240
00:15:22,807 --> 00:15:26,306
just like that...
( snaps fingers )
241
00:15:26,390 --> 00:15:27,974
you took it away.
242
00:15:30,099 --> 00:15:31,765
You erased it.
243
00:15:33,515 --> 00:15:35,306
And do you know why?
244
00:15:40,515 --> 00:15:42,390
You teleported.
245
00:15:48,015 --> 00:15:50,932
From right over here,
to right over there.
246
00:15:51,015 --> 00:15:53,265
Thirty feet.
247
00:15:53,348 --> 00:15:56,057
From the piano
to behind the desk.
248
00:15:56,140 --> 00:15:57,807
Whoosh!
249
00:15:57,890 --> 00:16:00,224
Just like that.
250
00:16:00,306 --> 00:16:03,099
And I-- I was shocked.
I-- I couldn't believe it.
251
00:16:03,182 --> 00:16:05,473
So I quickly asked you
about it,
252
00:16:05,556 --> 00:16:09,765
and, even more strangely,
you denied it.
253
00:16:09,848 --> 00:16:12,890
And I wanted
to find the truth.
254
00:16:12,974 --> 00:16:14,473
So I asked you again.
You denied it again.
255
00:16:14,556 --> 00:16:15,848
Back and forth we went--
256
00:16:15,932 --> 00:16:18,598
for four minutes
this conversation went on.
257
00:16:18,682 --> 00:16:21,765
Well, finally, I-- I started
doubting myself.
258
00:16:21,848 --> 00:16:24,348
Do you know what that's like?
259
00:16:24,431 --> 00:16:27,057
When part of you
deeply believes
that something is true,
260
00:16:27,140 --> 00:16:32,390
and another part of you
doubts yourself
to your very core?
261
00:16:33,598 --> 00:16:35,807
Until you start to doubt...
262
00:16:35,890 --> 00:16:38,848
any experience you might have.
263
00:16:38,932 --> 00:16:41,306
Oh...
264
00:16:41,390 --> 00:16:43,848
it's-- it's dark.
265
00:16:45,182 --> 00:16:47,598
It's a lot darker than...
266
00:16:47,682 --> 00:16:50,057
the life of
Ludwig van Beethoven,
267
00:16:50,140 --> 00:16:51,556
I'll tell ya that.
268
00:16:53,640 --> 00:16:56,932
Makes it impossible
to get close to anyone.
269
00:16:57,015 --> 00:17:02,598
Because you know something
they can't,
270
00:17:02,682 --> 00:17:05,890
and even if you do
get close enough
271
00:17:05,974 --> 00:17:07,598
to confess it to someone,
272
00:17:07,682 --> 00:17:09,640
like, say,
your college girlfriend,
273
00:17:09,723 --> 00:17:13,224
oh... it doesn't go very well.
274
00:17:15,015 --> 00:17:17,140
So then you keep it a secret.
275
00:17:17,224 --> 00:17:21,598
But that creates a wall
between you and other people.
276
00:17:21,682 --> 00:17:24,224
You talk to therapists,
to psychiatrists,
277
00:17:24,306 --> 00:17:26,640
to hypnotists,
and no one believes you,
278
00:17:26,723 --> 00:17:30,390
and even the medication
stops working the way it should,
279
00:17:30,473 --> 00:17:33,598
which makes you
doubt yourself even more.
280
00:17:36,765 --> 00:17:41,224
So what do you do?
You work a menial job, and...
281
00:17:41,306 --> 00:17:43,640
you just get by.
282
00:17:46,640 --> 00:17:48,974
Until, finally...
283
00:17:49,057 --> 00:17:51,515
you come to
the terrifying conclusion
284
00:17:51,598 --> 00:17:55,807
that even though
it makes no earthly sense...
285
00:17:55,890 --> 00:18:00,932
that Mr. Mulvahill,
the baseball coach
and music teacher,
286
00:18:01,015 --> 00:18:04,556
harbors the powers
of teleportation,
287
00:18:04,640 --> 00:18:07,431
you know what you saw!
288
00:18:07,515 --> 00:18:09,556
And you believe it--
289
00:18:09,640 --> 00:18:11,224
no matter what
anyone else says.
290
00:18:11,306 --> 00:18:13,807
Now, I know
what you're thinking.
291
00:18:13,890 --> 00:18:18,640
Why wait 40 years
to confront you about it?
292
00:18:18,723 --> 00:18:21,015
Well, that's
a very good question.
293
00:18:21,099 --> 00:18:25,015
Believe me, I have been
thinking about this every day,
294
00:18:25,099 --> 00:18:28,306
multiple times a day,
for the past 40 years.
295
00:18:28,390 --> 00:18:30,932
Who and what you might be,
296
00:18:31,015 --> 00:18:35,057
and why you did
what you did to me.
297
00:18:35,140 --> 00:18:37,723
Now, ultimately,
298
00:18:37,807 --> 00:18:42,932
I decided that I can live
without knowing why.
299
00:18:43,015 --> 00:18:45,848
But mm-mm. What I can't stand
300
00:18:45,932 --> 00:18:50,848
is the .001 percent chance
that it didn't happen.
301
00:18:52,182 --> 00:18:54,015
What if I'm crazy?
302
00:18:56,015 --> 00:18:59,598
What if I... blinked
303
00:18:59,682 --> 00:19:01,932
or had a blackout,
304
00:19:02,015 --> 00:19:04,390
and there was
no teleportation whatsoever?
305
00:19:06,390 --> 00:19:09,807
That's when I knew
I needed to confront you,
306
00:19:09,890 --> 00:19:12,890
I needed to speak to you,
try and get the truth.
307
00:19:12,974 --> 00:19:16,306
And, well,
we went through that,
308
00:19:16,390 --> 00:19:19,140
and it worked out
just as I thought: fruitless.
309
00:19:19,224 --> 00:19:22,848
So then I thought, well,
why not capture him
310
00:19:22,932 --> 00:19:25,640
and threaten his life
until he tells me the truth?
311
00:19:25,723 --> 00:19:27,640
Well, look,
you and I both know
312
00:19:27,723 --> 00:19:30,348
that if my life were threatened
313
00:19:30,431 --> 00:19:32,848
unless I admitted
to something ridiculous,
314
00:19:32,932 --> 00:19:35,515
like, say, I don't know,
I had 39 testicles,
315
00:19:35,598 --> 00:19:36,890
I would do it. Of course.
316
00:19:36,974 --> 00:19:38,306
I would lie. Wouldn't you?
317
00:19:38,390 --> 00:19:40,265
Of course you would.
318
00:19:40,348 --> 00:19:43,682
And that's why I've never
confronted you before.
319
00:19:43,765 --> 00:19:49,306
I could never
figure out a strategy...
320
00:19:49,390 --> 00:19:51,598
to come up with the truth.
321
00:19:51,682 --> 00:19:54,556
Then, one day,
when I was eating Corn Pops
322
00:19:54,640 --> 00:19:56,682
and listening to
This American Life,
323
00:19:56,765 --> 00:19:59,182
it hit me like
a bolt of lightning.
324
00:19:59,265 --> 00:20:02,182
Ha ha! Of course!
325
00:20:02,265 --> 00:20:06,182
If I tell him
that he's only got
60 seconds
326
00:20:06,265 --> 00:20:09,390
before I put this baseball bat
through his skull,
327
00:20:09,473 --> 00:20:12,390
well, that should
give him enough time, right?
328
00:20:12,473 --> 00:20:14,348
If he can teleport, he will.
329
00:20:14,431 --> 00:20:17,265
Because if not...
he's dead.
330
00:20:19,265 --> 00:20:20,848
( clears throat )
331
00:20:20,932 --> 00:20:23,224
- Fifty seconds.
- Please wait.
332
00:20:23,306 --> 00:20:24,598
Please! Please--
333
00:20:24,682 --> 00:20:26,515
D-Don't do this.
334
00:20:26,598 --> 00:20:27,848
I'll do anything you want.
335
00:20:27,932 --> 00:20:29,306
We're past that,
Mr. Mulvahill.
336
00:20:29,390 --> 00:20:30,723
Look into your heart.
337
00:20:30,807 --> 00:20:32,473
You know this is not
the right thing to do.
338
00:20:32,556 --> 00:20:34,057
But I need to do it.
339
00:20:34,140 --> 00:20:36,099
But you know you have doubts.
340
00:20:36,182 --> 00:20:37,932
Just the tiniest
of doubts.
341
00:20:38,015 --> 00:20:40,556
But what you are claiming
is impossible.
342
00:20:40,640 --> 00:20:43,015
Man cannot teleport himself!
343
00:20:43,099 --> 00:20:44,890
Religion is impossible,
but man believes it...
344
00:20:44,974 --> 00:20:46,807
But I know you are
a man of reason!
345
00:20:46,890 --> 00:20:48,848
Ah, you don't
really know me.
Thirty seconds.
346
00:20:48,932 --> 00:20:50,556
( hyperventilating )
347
00:20:50,640 --> 00:20:52,598
In 30 seconds
you'll commit murder.
348
00:20:52,682 --> 00:20:54,265
I don't believe that's true.
349
00:20:54,348 --> 00:20:55,431
But you're not sure.
350
00:20:55,515 --> 00:20:56,890
And if you're not sure,
351
00:20:56,974 --> 00:20:59,598
- then--
- I need to find out!
352
00:20:59,682 --> 00:21:02,099
If your life is dark now,
353
00:21:02,182 --> 00:21:05,723
there'll be no hope for you
after you've killed
an innocent man.
354
00:21:05,807 --> 00:21:07,348
I don't believe
you're innocent!
355
00:21:07,431 --> 00:21:09,682
But you'll never know!
356
00:21:09,765 --> 00:21:11,515
Because I'll be dead!
357
00:21:12,890 --> 00:21:14,306
Please don't do this.
358
00:21:14,390 --> 00:21:16,265
Don't do this to me!
359
00:21:16,348 --> 00:21:18,974
- To yourself!
- Ten seconds.
360
00:21:21,224 --> 00:21:23,556
Oh, dear God, help me!
361
00:21:23,640 --> 00:21:27,848
- Please! Please help me!
- Help! No one can hear you.
362
00:21:27,932 --> 00:21:30,224
- Six seconds.
- Oh, God!
363
00:21:30,306 --> 00:21:32,099
Oh, God! Oh, God, please!
364
00:21:32,182 --> 00:21:33,598
No, no! No!
365
00:21:33,682 --> 00:21:35,640
- Three...
- Oh, God! No, no!
366
00:21:35,723 --> 00:21:38,182
- two...
- No!
367
00:21:42,515 --> 00:21:45,807
( no audio )
368
00:22:02,057 --> 00:22:03,015
( whooshing )
369
00:22:05,890 --> 00:22:07,140
Jim: Oh!
370
00:22:07,224 --> 00:22:09,265
( panting )
371
00:22:23,265 --> 00:22:25,890
( "Ode to Joy" playing )
372
00:22:38,932 --> 00:22:40,890
( laughing )
373
00:22:43,306 --> 00:22:46,057
( "Ode to Joy"
continues playing )
374
00:23:50,306 --> 00:23:51,140
WOMAN:
So, what's your real name?
375
00:23:51,431 --> 00:23:52,723
(IN RUSSIAN ACCENT)
Do you like vodka?
376
00:23:52,807 --> 00:23:55,431
(RAPPING) Ian Brzezinski.
They all want to sex me.
377
00:23:55,515 --> 00:23:57,224
The honeys always wanna (YELPS)
378
00:23:57,306 --> 00:23:58,473
-(GASPS)
-What?
379
00:23:58,556 --> 00:24:00,348
-(ELECTRICAL SIZZLING)
-♪ (HIP HOP MUSIC PLAYS) ♪
380
00:24:01,057 --> 00:24:02,556
Would you like a salad course?
27260
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