Original subtitles

Amar!

Where's that wretch?

But baby, your mother-in-law already flew back to India.

Shut up!

Where is she?

Hema, Rekha, Jaya, Rupa!

Come out!

Baby...

Rupa's long gone, baby- you won't even find her underwear here.

I'll show you.

Baby...

There is nothing below.

Sorry, baby...

I thought you brought some girl home.

Me? No.

Because if that was the case,

Yes.

I would've done this to her.

But you didn't do anything like that.

No.

Let me put on some lipstick.

Love you, baby.

Love you too.

Bye.

You okay?

Yeah.

- I'm okay. - Thank God.

Ohh...

Are you alright, Amar ji?

Yes, that was a close call.

This animal pairing and your daring...

you're brilliant, Amar ji.

By the way, animal union is a pretty dangerous job.

That's why animals from eleven continents are waiting for me.

I'm the United Kingdom's best Master Mater.

Sparking their excitement and making them mate-

- that's what I'm best at. - Oh!

But Amar...

The tigress has been upset with the tiger for a long time.

So dressed as the tigress,

I'll make the union calls myself.

When the tiger hears it,

he'll think the tigress is calling him.

That'll get him happy and ready for union.

In simpler words- the tiger will feel alive.

Come, come, come...

toward the tigress.

Come on.

Come on.

Go. Go.

Yes. Yes.

Time for union.

Hey! Get the camera! Camera!

No. No.

No, no... no...

go away, tiger!

You're holding that glass

because you're afraid it might break

and the tiger will eat you.

I'm not afraid he'll eat me-

I'm afraid of what he'll do before he eats me.

Looks like history's being made today.

For the first time,

a tiger is going to mate with a human!

Now the union will happen.

No!

No union!

No union!

Sheru... you've got such a great life going,

don't think of Grand Masti.

Fly away, O crow, with that pearl in your beak.

Stop pecking, you bloody pecker!

Crack!

Stop bloody pecking me!

Crack!

Crow, crow, crow! Fly away! Fly away, please!

Fly away! Fly...

Thank you.

Hey tiger, your lover is calling you.

Go, go, go, go!

Go. Go quickly.

And now, ladies and gentlemen,

the most expensive car of the auction.

This is a once-in-a-lifetime offer.

Bidding starts at five million pounds.

Excuse me...

why such a hyped-up price for this rundown car?

Because there's something special about this car.

This car has met with ten accidents so far, and each time,

the wife ended up dead.

Ten million pounds!

Fifteen million pounds!

Twenty million!

Twenty-five million!

Shut up! This is my car!

Thirty-five million!

Shut up! This is my car!

Forty million pounds!

Forty million pounds... sold!

She's bloody done for.

Hi.

What a model.

What a model...

I agree.

It's awesome.

Hindi?

How far does it go?

What?

Mileage?

Ohh.

Give me a demo of its features.

Please.

By the way, what's your name?

Rose Mary.

Is your surname Karlo?

Yes.

Rose Mary Karlo.

Ohh... features.

The seats recline.

Make it recline, will you?

If you say it in that tone,

only an idiot would decline.

As you reclined, something has inclined.

Does the engine warm up?

Can't say anything about this thing,

but my engine's definitely warming up.

Satellite.

Excuse me.

Sweetheart,

I missed you.

I missed you so much.

Sweetheart, you missed me too, right?

Yes, Aanchal.

But we spoke only a minute ago.

Sweetheart, what's this?

Why is your heartbeat racing?

And your body temperature rising?

And what's this...

the blood is rushing from your upper body to your lower body.

How do you know all this?

I installed a health-tracking app on your phone.

And all the information gets sent to mine.

Put it in gear already!

What's this?

The blood is now rushing toward your abdomen.

Call me anytime...

929 247... 69!

Sixty-nine...

The blood is rushing below the abdomen now.

Thank God.

Sweetheart, I think there's a malfunction in the app.

I don't know about the app,

but I hope my instrument hasn't malfunctioned permanently.

Doctor. Doctor.

Doctor. Doctor.

I've lost my mind, doctor.

I've gone crazy, doctor.

- I've lost my mind, doctor. - Okay.

Alright, what happened?

Doctor, I married a widow.

Yes.

I married a widow.

Okay.

The widow had a young daughter.

Okay.

Doctor, my father married her young daughter.

What?

That made my father my son-in-law,

What?

and my daughter became my mother.

A few days later...

A few days later, they had a daughter, doctor.

Their daughter became my sister.

- What? - Their daughter became my sister.

But since I was her granny's husband,

their daughter was also my granddaughter.

- What? - Are you getting it?

And because of all this...

my own son became his grandma's brother.

What?

And I became my son's nephew.

And my son became his grandpa's brother-in-law, doctor.

When I called my son "uncle,"

he started crying and called me "dad."

When I called my daughter "mom,"

she tried to swallow poison.

Mother...

Doctor,

I'm getting crushed in this mixer-grinder of relationships.

I'm getting crushed... crushed!

Grrr...

Keep quiet!

Your family's mixed pickle!

Your story's blown my mind.

Get up.

Get lost. Get out.

Get lost!

Bloody madman!

Gita.

What is all this, Gita?

Welcome, husband dearest.

Accept this humble gift of Eid.

Husband dearest's wife dearest...

until yesterday you were singing devotional songs,

and today you're celebrating Eid.

You know how much I love celebrating every religion's festival and ritual.

And look at the Eid feast I've prepared for you.

As they say,

the way to a man's heart is through his stomach.

Dear God, I've been trying to say this since part one...

The way to a man's heart isn't through his stomach,

but slightly lower.

Don't get mad.

Meet me in the bedroom.

The bedroom?

She's got it.

She finally got it.

Mughal-e-Azam. Shauhar-e-Azam.

Babar-Azam.

Rabbit?

I get it-role play.

It's okay.

I'll be a turtle.

This isn't role play.

It's easter today.

And I'm your Easter bunny.

This is not funny.

Forget Easter and come to your mister.

Come on.

But these eggs?

If we keep thinking about these eggs,

then my eggs will go into hibernation.

You're always switching characters.

Whenever I come home,

even I don't know whether my wife is Hindu,

Muslim, or Christian today.

I don't know whether to sing a bhajan, recite poetry,

or sing a Christmas carol.

Whether to greet you with hello, greetings, or Adaab.

Or even Sat Sri Akaal!

Sat Sri Akaal just reminded me...

What?

I have to go.

Where?

Today is also Gurunanak Jayanti.

Is it?

So I'm off to the Gurdwara to seek blessings.

Sat Sri Akaal!

Dear God,

here I am cursing my destiny and she's off seeking blessings.

My tigress... there you are.

Your tiger has arrived.

This master is ready for union.

Now no more waiting.

In the savannah,

a lion mates with a lioness up to 100 times a day.

Baby... we should at least do it once today.

Oh, baby.

Baby...

I told you to act like a tigress,

not lie there like a bear.

You visit the beauty parlour every week-

why not get some waxing done too?

But it's alright.

I will...

I'll... adjust.

Thief! Thief!

- Who are you? - Thief!

There's a pervert thief in the house!

Who's the pervert? What pervert?

Why are you shuting my mouth?

Let it be.

What are you doing?

Move aside.

Prem, who are these people?

Who are you? Who are you?

What's happening here?

Sir, this thief broke into your house.

We caught him.

- How dare you break into my friend's house? - Hit him! You hit him too!

You scoundrel!

- Hit him! Hit him! - I'm not a thief!

I'm Amar!

It's Amar!

Untie him, Prem!

Untie him!

Are you alright?

It's actually my husband.

Are you okay?

I'm not okay!

I'm not okay!

Where did these beggars come from?

Who are these beggars?

They beat me up.

They beat me...

Hey, that's no way to hit anyone!

- He looks more desperate than us! - Shut up!

So what?

Who hits with a frying pan?

Yes.

What are these beggars doing in the house?

Baby...

Yes.

I found these poor souls on the street.

And he said, "If I give a million,

he'll give us ten million."

Since I didn't have a million,

I brought them home instead.

You know I can't see poor people suffering, baby.

Sorry.

Bindiya, if you keep bringing home these homeless people every day,

our family will never be complete.

You feel everyone's pain...

except mine.

Sorry, baby.

This mosquito was sucking your blood.

Mosquito...

How sweet of sister-in-law-

she can't even stand a mosquito sucking your blood.

- How sweet, sister-in-law. - So sweet.

She really can't stand anyone else sucking my blood except her.

Okay... let's go home now.

Tomorrow is Menka and Kaamraj's tenth wedding anniversary,

and we have to be there.

Who celebrates ten years of punishment?

How do I say my nights are incomplete...

Honestly, they long for your company.

How do I say my nights are incomplete...

Honestly, they long for your company.

Come here, baby, come rest in my arms.

I'll make the whole world bow at your feet.

Come here, baby, come rest in my arms.

I'll make the whole world bow at your feet.

Baby, you're one in a billion.

One in a billion...

Baby, you're one in a billion.

Never leave me...

Baby, you're one in a billion.

One in a billion...

Baby, you're one in a billion.

I'm drawn to you.

One in a billion... billions I could spend for you.

These hypnotic eyes, pure magic.

Your pink lips, I'm losing control.

Your face, my tattoo.

No number of zeroes can compare to you.

Stars on your skin, eyes like the sky.

I love you to the moon, yeah.

Baby, I'm a gentleman with manners.

It's unfair to tease me like that.

Your skin's like soft butter...

Come closer now.

Come here, baby, come rest in my arms.

I'll make the whole world bow at your feet.

Come here, baby, come rest in my arms.

I'll make the whole world bow at your feet.

Baby, you're one in a billion.

One in a billion...

Baby, you're one in a billion.

Never leave me...

Baby, you're one in a billion.

One in a billion...

Baby, you're one in a billion.

I'm drawn to you.

My temperature rises when you come near.

Though I'm high on you, I pretend to be sober.

People want the moon and stars.

But all I want is you close, doing what you like.

I'd sing a lullaby till you fall asleep.

Wake you up with kisses in the morning.

I'd sing a lullaby till you fall asleep.

Wake you up with kisses in the morning.

Come here, baby, come rest in my arms.

I'll make the whole world bow at your feet.

Come here, baby, come rest in my arms.

I'll make the whole world bow at your feet.

Baby, you're one in a billion.

One in a billion...

Baby, you're one in a billion.

Never leave me...

Baby, you're one in a billion.

One in a billion...

Baby, you're one in a billion.

Except for you, I want nothing more.

Wow, Kaamraj.

Tattoo of your love on your chest.

Yeah.

Menka lives in my breath...

- Is that so? - my heart.

But I thought I'd ink her face on my chest.

So every time I breathe,

I know we're breathing together.

How romantic.

There's him, tattooing his wife's face on his heart,

and then there's you-

who won't even put your wife's picture on your WhatsApp DP.

No, baby, that's not...

Show me your DP.

No, why check my DP?

See. Just hearing "DP" made your BP rise.

Forget that. Why are you donating blood?

Yes... every year on our anniversary, I donate blood.

So I can earn the blessings of the poor

and stay with you forever.

Temples, mosques, churches- I took you everywhere.

But you never donated a single penny, let alone blood.

- Really? - Yes.

- Cheap. - Enough!

I've had enough of your taunts!

Yes! Even we've had enough of your taunts!

We're all going to donate blood now!

- Yes! - We're going to donate-

Prem, my doctor told me not to donate blood.

Are you serious, Amar?

Even my doctor said the same.

You can donate for me, Prem.

I'm your doctor, idiots!

When did I say you couldn't?

Today, Amar, Akbar, and Anthony are donating blood!

Yes.

Yeah!

Yeah.

Take our blood now!

Well done!

Take more!

Yes, take more!

Take more!

Take more!

Alright!

Wow!

Get up, boys.

Well done.

Yeah...

they're back to their old tricks again.

Cheap!

Loser.

You donated five bottles but had to be given twenty-five in return.

Bloody blood-sucking... hideous vampires!

Don't ever set foot in my house again!

Since Kaamraj's party,

Bindiya's behavior toward me has been just like the tigress toward the tiger.

Looks like this Master Mater will have to find himself a new mator.

Guys, Gita's been working double shifts these days.

She keeps praying to God

to make her husband as perfect as Kaamraj.

I'm fed up.

Aanchal's so possessive,

she'd rename the Siri on my phone to Suresh if she could.

This doubting nature of hers has made my life F-

Finished.

Like this condom.

For a whole year this man

couldn't even test the power of ManForce.

I think something's fishy.

How can any husband love his wife so much?

You're right.

Look at Shahjahan, for example.

When did he build the Taj Mahal?

After his wife's death.

Exactly!

Because if his wife were alive during the construction,

she'd have interrupted a thousand times.

Correct.

"Baby, why is the Taj Mahal white?

Why not off-white?"

"Why marble? Wooden flooring would look better!"

Correct.

She'd have said, "Shahju,

why are you building the Taj Mahal in Agra?

Let's make it in Goa, I love sea view!"

So right.

Yeah...

Guys.

Any husband who acts overly loving

is usually feeling guilty about something.

Correct. You're right.

In fact, I say we should spy on Kaamraj at his house.

Catch him red-handed- with his pants down.

- Yes! Superb idea. - Come on.

Yes.

I love you.

Baby, I love you.

I'm gonna miss you.

I'll miss you.

I'm gonna miss you so much.

Have a great weekend.

Enjoy yourself.

You too, my dear.

Have a great weekend.

Bye.

Bloody Amar, shame on you.

You suspected a decent man like him.

He turned out to be a devoted husband, not just dedicated.

You brought us here.

Why did you bring us here?

Me?

Coming here was your idea!

Catch him red-handed with his pants down, remember?

Get lost before we strip you down and beat you up.

Baby, come on!

Come on!

Yes...

Guys!

Come on!

Yes!

Didn't I tell you? It was my idea. I am a genius.

So many legs coming out of Basanti's four-legged vehicle...

I love legs.

This is exactly what I was hoping for.

Yes. Come on.

This Kaamraj doesn't have one Menka-

he's got many!

Yes! Come on, come on, girls!

You know I love you. Come on. Love me.

His name should be Kaamdev, not Kaamraj!

He's only got one arrow-

how many are you going to shoot?

Go inside. Get inside.

Everybody inside.

Get inside.

I'm getting a slightly dark vibe.

Come on, girls!

He's got a whole harem-hardcore!

Yes.

- Let's go. - Where?

- To catch him with his pants down. - Yes.

Excuse me.

Ae G, O G, what an orgy!

Made us look like fools in front of our wives-

turned out to be a Circuit himself!

Go on, give them your magical hug.

Pretending to be a sweet, innocent Parsi,

but he's actually Arshad Warsi!

He's not all bad, guys.

The details of this scam are going straight to Menka.

No, please! Don't tell Menka!

She deserves to know what her Kaamraj does behind her back.

Yes.

Please, please, don't tell Menka!

She's finally gone on a holiday after ages!

We'll send you on a permanent holiday, buddy.

We men do these little side hustles sometimes-

understand!

Guys, I swear! This is my first Masti!

And this is our fourth!

Then you guys should know better.

You'll find out soon enough, boy.

- Prem! - Yes!

- Out with your phone! - Yes!

Not your phone,

- Don't do that. - Wait and watch.

- Wait and watch. - This is okay.

Idiot-call Menka!

Wait and watch.

You're done for.

Hello, Sister Menka.

Take my advice-

don't tolerate this nonsense.

Yes, your rascal of a husband,

right there in your bedroom, with a dozen girls!

To you he's a blood donor,

but behind your back he's a Vicky Donor!

Baby! These three aren't letting me have fun!

I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!

Kill him!

How dare you?

How dare us?

I gave my husband LV.

- LV? - LV? Louis Vuitton?

It's not Louis Vuitton- LV means Love Visa!

Love Visa?

Yeah.

In which embassy is that available?

It's not available in any embassy.

My Menka gives me one.

Love Visa?

Once a year-

- Boogie Woogie! - Yeah.

- Boogie Woogie? - You idiots.

That's the secret of our ten-year happy marriage.

This Love Visa has spiced up our boring life.

When Kaamraj comes back to me after a week,

after fulfilling all his fantasies...

Forget touching another woman-

he doesn't even think of looking at one!

For the rest of the year,

even if the most beautiful woman stands in front of him,

he won't look twice.

He belongs to me entirely - In body and soul.

I've heard of washing machines,

but Love Visa is a sin-cleansing machine.

Yes.

These guys are so slow- let me explain.

Listen carefully...

In cricket, don't you get a free hit after a no-ball?

Yes.

Love Visa is the free hit of marriage.

In this, a man can hit fours, sixes-

whatever he likes-

You know, what's the good part?

But he can't get out.

Can't get out?

- Can't get out? - Yes.

He doesn't get out!

Love visa.

Free hit.

Seven days!

Every year.

He's got such a great life.

Lucky rascal's got an even better wife.

And then there's us...

Completely doomed!

Friends, I have an idea.

I have an idea!

Every time we've listened to your "idea" and tried to do Masti,

Grand Masti, and Great Grand Masti,

we've been royally screwed!

Your "ideas" are the monsters that destroyed our peace.

Guys, this is the best idea please.

Best idea, please!

Forget part one, two, and three -

trust me, this is Masti Four!

Let's ask our wives for LV.

Love visa.

Have you gone mad?

Have you lost your mind?

You want me to ask Bindiya for a love visa?

Someone might dare to put their hand in a tiger's mouth,

but never in a tigress's!

You know how possessive my wife is?

Just a few days ago, she said,

"How come there isn't a single strand of another woman's hair on your clothes?"

And I said, "That's a good thing, baby."

Yes.

Do you know what she said next?

"Tell me honestly -

who's that bald woman?"

This is mission impossible, bro.

Guys, think about it...

We sent Chandrayaan to the moon...

Won the World Cup with a six...

And even surpassed China in population!

And we three had nothing to do with any of it -

we just sat clapping!

Yes, that's true.

But listen,

if we let this opportunity slip away,

we'll be clapping for the rest of our lives!

Imagine - if we manage to get a Love Visa from our wives,

life will turn into Boogie Woogie!

Once we cross the first hurdle of the Love Visa,

even if we don't become billionaires,

we'll surely become better husbands - like Kaamraj.

Yes.

You're right, Amar.

- We're not doing this for ourselves. - Yes.

We're doing this for our wives' happiness.

Yes.

In fact, by giving us Love Visas,

our wives will be doing themselves a favor, not us.

Yeah...

Guys, our dreams could come true -

and we could actually be in bed with someone else.

Yeah!

Love Visa!

Let's get it!

Love Visa?

Love Visa?

Love Visa?

Baby, it was a mosquito again, wasn't it?

No.

This time I actually slapped you.

How could you even think of something so filthy?

Baby, I've done too many good things -

it's time to do something dirty.

But...

You slapped me, didn't you?

Fine.

No problem.

Bapu said,

when someone slaps you on one cheek,

offer the other.

Thank you.

Thank you, Bapu.

Bapu?

What are you doing, love?

Putting the phone on silent...

because I'm about to get violent.

Violent?

If it weren't Gokul Ashtami today,

I'd have smashed your head instead of this pot!

But baby, you said I should be a husband like Kaamraj!

And this "idea" came from Kaamraj!

I'll deal with Kaamraj later.

You've heard of Bobbit, right?

Bobby... Deol?

Sunny Sir's brother?

Neither Bobby nor Sunny - Bobbit!

Sunny Sir just uprooted a hand pump.

Yes.

Mrs. Bobbit chopped off her husband's pump!

History is full of examples -

whenever a married man lost focus on his wife,

his sausage got chopped!

Yes.

I thought we'd get a Love Visa -

a volcano of desire would erupt!

Yes.

But my volcano fizzled out.

Bindiya slapped me so hard,

anyone who needs her fingerprints can scan my cheeks.

Look! Look!

Good thing today's Eid-e-Milad and not Bakri-Eid -

otherwise Gita would've slit my-

If I ever cheat in my dreams,

I do it with Meet.

I can't believe he asked me for something like this.

I always saw Prem as a godlike man -

turns out he's just a despo.

I'm not surprised at all.

Have you ever noticed how our husbands behave around women?

They start drooling.

Their eyes go wild.

They act like starving men who just got invited to a feast.

Hi, girls.

Hi.

Ever wondered why they act that way?

Every man thinks his wife is like a mobile phone -

if he'd waited a little longer,

he could've gotten a better model.

Look to your right.

Those two - definitely husband and wife.

Yes... yes.

Yes.

He's definitely a husband, but not hers.

- She's his girlfriend. - What?

No.

Don't believe me?

Come on, let's test it.

I don't know.

Hello?

Yeah, listen.

I came to Olive Restaurant for dinner.

I just saw your husband here.

He's sitting with his girlfriend.

Come down quickly -

catch your husband red-handed!

- What... - Catch your husband red-handed!

Run! Run! Run from here!

Oh, my God!

What?

When Kaamraj asked me for a Love Visa,

I was angrier than all three of you put together.

But then I realized -

Kaamraj was at least honest enough to ask me for permission.

He could've easily gone behind my back and had an affair.

What are you trying to say?

Your husbands aren't like those men.

At least they confessed their desires to you -

they asked for a Love Visa.

Yes.

So... what do we do now?

The most important thing in any marriage is trust.

So thank you for trusting us with your request.

If our husbands had gone behind our backs and had affairs,

we'd never have tolerated it.

But you three came to us honestly and asked for permission

- and we truly appreciate that.

Maybe something's missing in our marriages -

something that made you even think of a Love Visa.

And if Kaamraj and Menka's marriage has lasted ten years

because of this, then there must be something real to it.

You mean...

You're actually giving us a Love Visa?

What?

We're giving the three of you a Love Visa for one week.

For this one week, you're free to fulfill your fantasies and desires.

For this one week, you can have all the Masti you want.

In fact, you can have Grand Masti

- even Great Grand Masti.

- Baby... - Baby...

- Baby... - Baby...

- Baby... - Baby...

'Masti 4'.

When a beautiful woman walks by,

When a beautiful woman walks by,

When a gorgeous woman walks by,

a voice echoes from deep inside...

Hold her, hold her, hold her close.

grab her hand, don't let go.

Hold her close, don't let her slip away.

grab her hand, don't let go.

Hold her close, don't let her slip away.

When a gorgeous woman walks by,

a voice echoes from deep inside...

grab her hand, don't let go.

Hold her close, don't let her slip away.

grab her hand, don't let go.

Hold her close, don't let her slip away.

I feel drawn to every woman I see.

My thoughts start heading in the wrong direction.

I feel drawn to every woman I see.

My thoughts start heading in the wrong direction.

I stay calm around doctors, but the nurses raise my temperature.

Men are always ready- always prepared.

The truth is, we're Majnu's mentors.

We are his mentors.

When a graceful woman sways her hips,

When a graceful woman sways her hips,

a voice echoes from deep inside...

Hold her, hold her, hold her close.

Grab her hand, don't let go.

Hold her, hold her, hold her close.

Grab her hand, don't let go.

Hold her, hold her, hold her close.

When a beautiful woman walks by,

When a beautiful woman walks by,

a voice echoes from deep inside...

Hold her, hold her, hold her close.

Grab her hand, don't let go.

Hold her, hold her, hold her close.

Today's the seventh day, Meet.

Your luck hasn't been great this week.

Running short on matches for Love Visa Week?

Didn't get a single stamp?

Hello.

You here?

You here?

I've been searching for you for six days.

For six days? Why?

Yes.

For my test drive!

I'll give you a test drive.

- Oops- - Oops.

The driving licence is in my bedroom.

Bedroom?

Then let's go to your house and get it.

Let's go.

Love visa. Love visa. Love visa. Lucky me.

Allow me.

So, what seems to be the issue?

Doctor, I want to have fun with a young woman.

That may cause death.

I am ready to die.

What?

Hello, doctor.

Hello.

Please come.

Please come.

Please.

Please sit.

Thank you, doctor.

What is your problem?

Actually, I work at the Happy Thai Massage Parlour.

After giving massages all day,

my fingers start aching.

Happy Thai Massage Parlour?

So, doctor.

Why don't you come there later?

I'll ease all your pain with a very,

very happy massage.

Even I'd like one!

Here's my advice-go out,

take a right, then straight and left.

You'll find a cremation ground there.

I've kept a pyre burning just for you-

lie down and rest in peace!

Now get out!

These guys have two humps each,

and I don't even have one.

And the seven days of Love Visa are almost over.

Yes...

Mr. Amar?

Yes?

I'm Rozy, the new zookeeper.

New zookeeper?

Wow.

But the earlier keeper worked here for years-

how did you get in?

They said I had no chance...

until I showed my qualifications.

Qualifications?

I'm a top graduate in Zoology, expert in Animal Psychology,

have a Diploma in Veterinary Science,

and a PhD in Animal Conservation and Biodiversity.

I'm single and live alone in my flat.

What?

And... I take i-pill every morning.

With qualifications like those,

anyone would hire you.

So, which animal are you working with today?

The most dangerous of all- humans.

He only needs two things in life-

his Rozy and a meal.

And I've brought my own lunch.

Let's see what else you've brought.

Something...

It's not what you're thinking.

What's that?

Special pheromones.

Pheromones?

Yes. It's like Viagra for animals.

Spray it and every nearby creature gets restless.

In short, it sparks the union instinct.

What are you doing?

Doctor, this massage is unique.

And do you know what's unique about it.

What?

All the blood in your body rushes to one place.

Absolutely right.

The blood is gushing to only one part.

So is mine.

I think you've got a sore throat.

Not my throat- it's something else.

Baby...

Sister- I mean, mister- what do you want?

I want you.

Me?

Don't you have men in your family?

I do, but none as charming as you.

Blind yet bold.

With company this tempting,

there'll be fireworks tonight.

I'll just freshen up my makeup.

Good idea-get ready for the show.

Come quickly.

Meet, you lucky guy-

Enjoy, he's all yours.

She's here.

She's here.

Those legs...

that slim waist...

that sparkle of youth...

Rose Mary, take me today.

Wait-

these teeth aren't mine!

How did you go from Rose Mary to half-dead?

Mom! Granny! Great-granny!

- I want you to drive me crazy. - Crazy.

Crazier.

Crazier.

I want to bring out the animal inside of me.

Animal...

The wildest animal ever.

Let go! Let go!

Leave. Leave.

Shoo. Shoo.

No, no, what are you doing?

Shoo.

Run! Run!

Run!

What's Queen Elizabeth doing there?

Queen Elizabeth?

Saved! Saved! Saved!

Caught! Caught! Caught!

Rose Mary. Half-dead?

Leave me.

No, no.

No!

Union!

By the way, Amar, how was your week?

Fantastic.

Yours?

Great.

Mine too.

Look at those glowing faces- real champions.

Guys who get one free hit in life are lucky,

but you got the whole power play!

Tell me, how was the game?

I hit so many boundaries

I can defend even a full toss now.

Nice! And you?

My pitch was old,

but I hooked every bouncer out of the park.

That's the spirit!

And you?

What can I say?

Please tell me.

Tell me. Tell me.

How do I say it?

Say it however you like.

My performance made me the Animal of the Match,

not Man of the Match.

Good!

No...

Union!

Amar! Amar! Amar!

I can hear you-

I'm not deaf!

Looks like you guys enjoyed that Love Visa to the fullest.

You really nailed it.

On the contrary- the Love Visa nailed us.

I'm so proud of you... Baby!

Come here, baby.

Bindiya, baby-where are you three going with those suitcases?

We're off on a holiday.

Holiday? Perfect-we'll come too!

Yes, great idea.

We haven't been on a holiday together for ages.

Let's go pack.

Sorry-

the visa for this trip is just for us.

Meaning?

You guys enjoyed your week.

Yes.

Now it's our turn for the Love Visa.

What?

Nice.

- Yeah. - Yeah.

Did you really think

Menka's the only one who gives a Love Visa to Kaamraj?

Yes.

Even Kaamraj gives one to Menka every year.

Why?

Because you can't clap with one hand-you need both.

You're the reason we got into this mess!

Couldn't you warn us earlier?

Even cigarette packs come with warnings.

- Correct- - "Smoking is injurious to health."

Yes.

But do you quit smoking after reading that?

We'd have quit if we'd known sooner!

We'd never have fallen for this Love Visa trap.

Forget love visa, we'd have torn up our passports.

- Yes. - What have you done?

Sorry, but we're off to the airport.

Airport?

We'll clear security-

Security?

And take off with our Love Visa!

Take off?

See you in a week, boys.

The husbands had their fun-

now it's the wives' turn!

- Enjoy. - Enjoy, girls.

- Listen to me. - Bye!

- Bye! - Bye, have fun!

Where are you going? Bindiya!

Gita.

Gita.

- Aanchal! - Gita!

Bindiya!

- Gita! - Aanchal!

- Bindiya! - Gita!

Why are you staring at me like that?

Idea.

Idea...

Thanks to you, we've been grandly fooled for the fourth time.

Prem...

So, nothing happened at the massage parlour?

Thank God nothing happened.

What I thought was Thai,

turned out to be a guy!

Even I got duped.

Mine was so old...

that she didn't know that her age

to pass away had already passed.

And you?

Rascals.

At least yours were human.

I was ravaged by the entire animal kingdom.

What?

From pigs to rabbits...

Each one pounded my flesh.

Thank God the elephant and hippo

were locked in a cage.

- Otherwise, I would have been... - Enough. Enough.

We got it. We got it.

Meaning...we three flopped,

but they will get lolly-pop.

Men get nothing even after a billion attempts.

But girls...

find a billion without even trying.

Men are such rascals,

they don't look for anyone special.

They settle for anyone ordinary.

Yes.

And our wives from more than ordinary from top to tip.

They will all pounce on them like hungry wolves.

Friends, I have an idea.

- Let's put this dog down today. - Yes.

And we'll bury his body so deep,

even his soul won't know where it is.

We won't bury it.

We'll burn the rascal.

Pass the matchbox.

Go ahead and burn me, bury me.

But when sister-in-law Bindiya

with the love visa stamp, you'll die of shame.

And you...

When sister-in-law Aanchal returns with blackened face,

where will you hide your face?

What are you trying to say?

I am trying to say that, friends,

we should stop our wives.

Yes.

The reality is, doesn't matter how many times men

cheat on their women,

they know their wife will forgive them.

But when the wife has an affair outside,

- no man can tolerate it. - No.

We must stop our women from having Masti.

- Yes. - Yes.

I, Meet, place my hand on Gita...

Gita is mine. Keep your hand on Aanchal.

If only Aanchal would let me touch her,

I wouldn't be in this situation.

Leave it.

I, Amar, place my hand on Bindiya and swear,

that I will stop her from having fun and won't let her find out.

- I, Meet, swear... - Wait.

- I swore for all three. - Okay.

- Let's make a plan. - Alright.

Yes.

Paintings. Paintings by MF Hussain.

Paintings.

Massage. Oil massage.

Only happy, no ending.

Spare some change in the name of God.

Spare some change in the name of God.

Spare some change in the name of anyone,

but just spare some change.

- Sister-in-law. - Sister-in-law.

Sister-in-law.

Baby?

Baby...

Baby!

- All of them are old. - What was that?

Why does it feel like

all the ugly men in the world are right here.

We came here to have fun with these men?

Yuck!

I want to tear up the love visa.

Brilliant, God. Thank you.

Thank God,

women have a class and standard.

Women only want to ride a Ferrari.

Yes, and these girls won't even find a Nano here.

Wow.

Feels like Hrithik Roshan

together with John Abraham made him.

Where did this rascal come from?

Even the husbands would be ready to have an affair with him,

- let alone the wives. - Yes.

The sun's hotness make people sweatness,

but this guy's so hot that he makes even the sun sweat.

He's so hot, if we break eggs on his body,

it will turn to omellete.

We are ruined.

We are ruined.

We are done for.

We are gone.

Hey, girls.

What?

How are you doing?

You girls are here on vacation?

Well, me too.

Because girls just want to have fun.

Call me. Love you. Bye.

He wants the husbands, not wives.

He doesn't want eggs or chickens...

He wants a cock.

No, not a cock.

He wants a boy.

- Saved. - Oh Lord!

I...am going to get changed

and head to the market.

Where is she going?

I am leaving too.

What am I going to do sitting around here?

Guys...best of luck.

Hello, baby. Looking hot.

- Who are you? - Baby, listen to me.

- Leave me. - Come on, baby.

Somebody help me.

You dare mess with my girl.

Here comes your hero.

No. No.

No, somebody help.

Please anybody here.

Please help!

Oh my!

Is he UK's Crime Master Gogo?

He's pulled out eyes to play marbles.

Hey...

My girl...

Hey boy!

Boy...

Hi, baby.

Bye, baby.

No. Thank you.

If you had fallen down,

you would have gotten hurt.

And if you had gotten hurt,

I would have taken you to the closest emergency centre.

Infirmary.

Infirmary.

Hospital.

You Hindi's so good even though you live in the UK.

I am impressed.

Actually, I like India.

And I love Indians.

That's why I did a course on PURE Hindi.

Hi. I am Sid Walia.

Prince of good times.

Good time.

Baby...

I am Inspector Virat.

And you are?

Anushka.

I mean Gita.

Gita. What a cute and pious name?

Are you married?

Was.

But my wife passed away couple of years ago.

How?

She was flying around in a helicopter in the valleys.

Suddenly she started to feel cold,

and accidentally switched off the helicopter's fan.

And since then, I've been a widower...

Widower! Widower! Widower!

Why is your voice echoing?

Actually, I was born in the valleys.

That's why my voice sometimes echoes.

Echoes. Echoes. Echoes.

Oh.

But... who were you running from?

There's a guy in a red cap,

who was giving me dirty looks.

Don't you worry.

After hugging you, I'll go deal with him.

Inspector.

Did you see a girl go by?

Was so utterly gorgeous?

Gorgeous? Gorgeous? Gorgeous?

Yes.

But why are you repeating it three times?

The audience already knows,

no need for an explanation.

Was she trying to...

get away from someone?

Get away? Get away? Get away?

Yes. From me. Me. Me.

Great. The criminal accepts his crime.

Yes, means?

Was that your leg?

Yes.

Left uppercut.

Right uppercut.

Your legs are bigger than the law.

My shoelaces are untied.

Smell it. Smell it. Smell it.

Smell it. Smell it.

Smell it. Smell it. Smell it...

Now take it.

Take it.

Oh my, God.

Thank you.

Where is she going?

Hide. Hide. Oh no.

Haven't I seen you before?

Haven't seen anything.

Haven't seen it.

I haven't seen anything for years.

I didn't see your orange colour bikini.

Nor without the bikini.

Mother... Mother...

Madam...

I haven't seen Shah Rukh Khan's Jawaan,

nor Sheila's Jawaani.

I didn't see Brahmastra or anyone without clothes.

Spare some change in the name of God.

Give it only to me.

Don't give anyone else.

Please, madam, please.

- Leave. Let go. - Please, madam...

Where did she go?

Hey, beggar! Get lost!

BB?

Baby who?

Bhikari brother.

Who is feeding these homeless people in this community kitchen?

He's the messiah of the poor-

Protector of the weak-

Savior of the needy,

one who holds a Russian passport and Indian Aadhar.

He robs the rich...

and gives to the poor-

Our Robin Hood.

Don Pablo Putinwa!

Wow.

Pablo Putinwa!

Pablo Putinwa...

Pablo.

Pablo, what a name?

Whole of London can drown in your intoxicating eyes...

Make me your tennis ball

and become my Sharapova.

Wow...

your personality and accent.

My mom is from Khandwa.

That night from Russia Putin came to Khandwa,

and led to a one-night-stand.

And thus I came in this world.

God knows. God knows.

Urdu!

That night, after Putin came a Sheikh.

Habibi. Habibi.

Always ready.

Thank you from saving me from falling.

Falling in in your love is what I am afraid of,

my Sharapova.

Twinkle-Twinkle shines the star.

Something troubling me, my love.

Shaking, shaking, the cords of my heart.

What? Come again.

Tonight is the sum of the reminder of unbalanced equation

inherent to the hormonal disprogramming

of the problem called love.

While it remains a burden to seductively avoid it.

It is not unexpected and not beyond a measure of my control.

That is like, something like That, said SEX APPEAR (SHAKESPEARE)

I know, dear.

We started with Masti,

then Grand Masti,

then Great Grand Masti...

Now it's time for Masti Four!

We started with Masti,

then Grand Masti,

then Great Grand Masti...

Now it's time for Masti Four!

You're like a sizzling firecracker.

Explosive like a grenade.

You sizzle like a firecracker.

Explode like a grenade.

One in a million, baby.

Truly enchanting.

I'm Viru, you're my Basanti.

My heart's tingling.

Let my desires be fulfilled.

You're a parched bird,

and I am the sea of beauty.

Come and take a sip from me.

My mischivious lover, come touch me,

my mischievous lover.

My mischievous lover, do masti,

my mischievous lover.

We started with Masti,

then Grand Masti,

then Great Grand Masti...

Now it's time for Masti Four!

Your youth is feisty.

Hits like a gun,

It's totally solid.

You are strong and robust.

Full of zest.

And really fun.

Such is your magic, it's driving me nuts.

and I am the gush of wind.

Let the sparks fly.

My mischievous lover, come touch me,

my mischievous lover.

My mischievous lover, do masti,

my mischievous lover.

What pill did you pop in my mouth?

I am head over heels for you.

It's been ages since

I crossed paths with a lover like you.

Your youth...

...is like flowing water.

My youth...is like flowing water.

Come and take a dip in it.

My mischievous lover, come touch me,

my mischievous lover.

My mischievous lover, do masti,

my mischievous lover.

That Russian Ravi Kishan's pride has to be shattered.

And turn his life upside down.

That Virat busted my balls like Singham

and turned it into chewing gum.

That young man gouged those

goons' eyes with his fingers in front of my eyes.

What are you trying to say, bro?

That prince of good times

gouged the balls out of the eyes of those goons.

Our wives are staying in this hotel.

Roon number 49...59...69!

Sixty-nine.

We must save our wives from those rascals.

Virat, Sid and Pablo are very dangerous.

We should be careful as well.

Guys, we have to do this in disguise.

- Dear... - Yes.

would you like to consume grapes?

No, thank you.

By the way, I also brought some pressed grapes for you.

Pressed grapes?

What is it called?

What's that?

Juice, baby. Grape juice.

Bloody asaf.

I'll squeeze the juice out and turn your grapes into raisins.

Raisins...

I also called for some cupcakes.

What...what...

What's...

Baby... this patty.

Cupcake.

Bloody cupcake.

Let go!

Did you also hear that?

Yes, but there's no one around?

Yes, there's no one around.

Let go!

- Dear. - Yes.

Let's go someplace solitude,

so our love play is not interrupted.

I love this place.

It's also got these cute trees.

Why don't you slip into the mood,

and I'll be back from the restroom.

Come soon.

I'll be back.

Come soon. Soon.

Even I need to go urgently.

Where do I relieve my bladder?

Behind those trees.

Relieve...

- Bladder... - On me?

Prem, he's coming. He's coming.

Hold on...

This is actually going to hurt.

What happened?

I think there's a squirrel on this tree.

He bit me.

Why don't you try the other tree?

Yes...

Rascal...this is going to hurt.

Bust your apricots.

What happened this time?

Is there a squirrel on this tree as well?

No, I think there's a huge mouse on this tree.

He hit my pretty hard.

Why don't you try the third tree?

There won't be a snake on it.

My Nagpur's serpent,

make him pay!

Snake! Snake! Snake!

- I got bitten by a snake. - Snake!

Snake! Help. Help.

It's a snake!

Snake! Snake! Snake!

I got bitten by a snake.

Help. Save me.

Help.

Snake!

Pull. Pull. Pull.

Don't pull. Don't pull.

Pull. Pull.

Don't pull.

Don't pull. Pull. Pull... Don't pull.

Pull. Pull...

Don't pull. Don't pull.

Rascals.

Do you want to uproot my stick with the snake?

Pull. Pull...

Snake... I got bitten by a snake.

It must be poisonous.

Suck the poison out.

Suck the poison out.

Where are you going, rascals?

First suck the poison out.

Wait.

Rascals. First suck the poison out.

Sir... Sir... it was not a poisonous snake.

Then what was it?

If you get bitten, it will cause pain for sometime.

I am.

There'll be a burning sensation.

It is.

And then it will swell up.

It has swelled up!

Nothing more.

Leave it and give me that.

I am going to cut down those trees for good today.

The trees have come alive.

How can the trees come alive?

Welcome. Welcome.

This is my home and my stable.

Two and one.

Brilliant. Brilliant.

What's that? Sorry.

I mean...what is that?

That's Pablo's justice,

Make my enemies walk the gallows.

That...

That dog is eating that man.

That's just his way of showing love.

My cute puppy...Kalashnikov.

Leave him.

I'll introduce you to Toofan.

Toofan.

My love...

my pride...

My Toofan.

And Toofan's rider...Kornikova.

For a year, I didn't let him mate.

I only said one thing to Toofan...

Hold your horses.

I will make him mate with the best mare in the world.

I guess you love your horse more than anything else.

I love the horse,

but my reins are now in your hands.

Soon, it will be nightfall.

After that I...

will show you the master bedroom.

I guess Pablo's ready to ride out

in the sunset with sister-in-law Bindiya.

If Pablo's ready to ride on, we're also ready to ride back.

Should have hired a elephant costume instead.

At least we would have had some space.

And where's Meet?

Meet's busy disconnecting the electicity connection to Pablo's house,

so that Pablo's entire house goes dark.

And we... can use the darkness as leverage,

break into the house and sever that Pablo's connection as well.

Yes.

- Good. - Yes.

Don't worry,

to save sister-in-law,

here comes naughty pussy.

Meow!

Didn't work?

Screwed.

One more time.

Cut Pablo's power.

What the...

Just give me a signal once, and I'll go searching for you.

You'll go crazy, because I'll propose you in such a way.

Are you going to give the bank of my heart a heart attack here?

Sister-in-law?

Want to drive me crazy?

Do you want to drive me crazy?

Your body's like magnet,

Do you want to drive me crazy with your touch?

Want to drive me crazy?

Do you want to drive me crazy?

Your body's like magnet,

Do you want to drive me crazy with your touch?

This is just the trailer, my love.

The movie's yet to come.

The sights within are much more grand.

This is just the trailer, my love.

The movie's yet to come.

The sights within are much more grand.

I am not going anywhere.

Hold your horses.

- Look, Toofan. - Where?

- He's looking at us. - Is it?

- But why is he looking at us like that? - How?

The way we look at girls...

Shit. Shit.

Shit...

- Prem. - Yes.

- I've bad news. - Yes.

And I've very-very bad news for you.

What do you want to hear first?

Bad news.

I think Toofan has mistook us for a real horse in this costume,

and he's lost his heart to us.

What?

And what's the very-very bad news?

The very-very bad news is,

the zipper of the horse's costume is stuck from inside.

And we can't get out.

- What? - Yes.

Run, Amar. Run.

Run.

Run.

Run. Run. Run. Run. Run.

Run.

Prem, I think Toofan's in the mood for union.

What is union?

When a human or animal gets shameless,

then...it leads to union.

No.

Amar, only your feet can save my honour now.

Run!

Kalashnikov.

Pablo!

Dhar from your hatiyaar?

Rascal, I'll shoot you.

One hathiyaar, two dhaar.

I am not a real horse.

You should run backwards.

It will save your behind.

If I run backwards,

my behind will be saved...

but my face will get creamed.

Run!

Hey...

Why did you stop?

My feet are stuck.

What?

My Toofan!

Toofan, no.

Don't do it, Toofan.

Don't mate with her, Toofan.

Bloody horse.

We came with high hopes

of saving our wives' honour.

We didn't know that your arse will get so big.

It looks more like the aasmaan (SKY) than an arse.

He's turned into a camel since that horse rode him.

He's humped, bro.

People can't show their faces.

But I've to hide my back now.

Guys...only until day after tomorrow.

We've to save our wives from Sid,

Pablo and Virat until day after tomorrow.

Yes!

Sorry. Sorry.

Red dress...

just like a red chili.

By the way, exactly at 8:20 p.m.,

a boat will take us to a private island.

Oh, wow!

And like Adam and Eve,

we'll spend the entire night there.

Oh, wow!

But remember one thing-

if 8:20 turns to 8:21,

the boat will leave... leave... leave...

He hit us! He hit us!

He hit us! He hit us!

That cruel man hit us!

He even broke my teeth!

Excuse me!

I didn't hit anyone.

You people came right in front of my car!

We're not talking about you.

Nine months ago, he didn't see the stop signal...

and she didn't either.

And then the accident happened, dear God.

Now he's going to be a dad...

and she's become the bag with the cat.

- But... - Greetings, mister.

I'm Dattu, this is the doctor...

and she's my wife, Mia Khalifa.

And he's my husband.

But the boat will leave at 8:21.

The boat will leave.

- Doctor... - Yes?

Can you check if the baby's alright?

Of course! Why not? I'll check.

Absolutely, I'll check.

What's the baby saying?

The child is saying...

What is the baby saying?

I am throwing the ball.

- Doctor... - Yes?

Not me, check Mia, doctor!

Apologies, apologies, apologies.

Turn around.

What's the baby saying?

What's the baby saying?

Doctor, that's not where you should be checking!

Forgive me.

Your wife looks more pregnant from behind than from the front.

Naughty.

But the boat will leave at 8:21.

Doctor... check properly.

I'm checking, I'm checking...

checking!

Is everything alright inside, doctor?

Baby's frock.

Baby's frock.

The dam has burst.

The dam has burst, Madan Chopra.

Prepare to face the storm now!

The baby will arrive at 8:22!

Congratulations! Congratulations!

But the boat will leave at 8:21!

They're having a baby, and you're worried about the boat!

But baby...

Madam, we'll take you to the hospital.

Don't worry.

How sweet... in a world full of cruel men,

only a woman can understand another woman's pain.

- But- - Quiet!

You only know one thing: getting women pregnant!

Come forward!

Don't just stare at me-hit him!

Don't hit me...

hit me... hit me?

Hit me?

Alright then, let's hit him!

Never leave me, sister.

Never.

- But the boat will leave at 8:21... - No. No.

Let's go, sister-in-law... I mean, let's go, wife!

Relax... breathe in...

breathe out... just relax.

breathe in...

breathe out...

Thank you, Gita... I mean, sister.

Now that you're close, I feel better.

If you're feeling better, should I call a taxi?

It hurts! It hurts! It hurts!

Stop hitting me!

Why are you hitting me?!

It's hurting me too!

It's hurting me too!

What have I gotten myself into?

Curse you!

If we're causing you so much trouble,

then let us get off at the steps of the mosque.

Me, the doctor, and Mia Khalifa will go on our own.

Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!

I'll go to the hospital only in this car!

Okay, don't worry. Don't worry, sister.

You'll go to the hospital in this car.

8:21! We missed the boat!

That's what we wanted...

we wanted... we wanted...

this is where we wanted to be-the hospital.

You can continue with your program.

Go catch your boat.

No! How can they leave?!

Until this baby is born,

I'm not letting anyone go anywhere!

- Child? - Child...

help!

How am I supposed to deliver a real baby, you maniacs?!

Don't look at me like I'm some actual doctor!

I've got an idea- go find a baby somewhere!

Me?!

Until then, I'll handle everything!

- Me?! - Go on!

Yes... but where on earth am I supposed to find a baby?!

If the big guy's a handful,

the little one's a hurricane!

Don't-!

You just need to push, my lady!

Push! Push!

Try harder... heave... ho!

Amar and Akbar look so decent and proper...

then why are you, Anthony, spraying your water jet all over me.

What are you all doing?!

Push hard enough for the baby to just slip right out!

Push!

How nice!

Push...

My lady...

push from the front, not the back!

Sorry, doctor.

You see, before I came here,

I took digestion pill. Then it's beyond control.

I didn't know it would happen this fast!

Just push. Push!

Good baby.

He bit me! He bit me!

Push! Push!

Push from the front!

In relation I am your father. My name is Shahenshah.

Basanti, don't dance in front of the dogs.

My lady... the baby's almost out.

He's knocking...

knocking on the doors of your womb!

Scoundrel! I will drink your blood!

Sister, let go!

Sister, let go! Sister, let go!

Mogambo is pleased.

Sister, let go!

Sister, let go!

Sister, let go!

Sister, let go! Sister, let go!

Sister, let go!

Sister-don't let go so hard!

Sister, let go!

Meet! Why are you drenched?!

The baby peed on my face!

If you'd taken even a second longer,

he would've done the other thing!

Rajma-Rice.

No, Chole-Bhature.

Smells like Rajma-Rice!

No, feel that asafetida!

Asafoitida? Or just assorted spices?!

No, it's asafoitida.

Forget it-just give me the baby!

Take the baby. I mean-take it!

Congratulations! Congratulations!

The storm has arrived!

But... he's black.

With diaper.

Oh my!

Guys, we've been safe till now.

But today... today is the final day of Love Visa.

We only have to save our wives from their lovers for one more day.

Listen, beloved. In your love,

I will cross all limits

We're falling in our own eyes.

We're falling in our own eyes.

We're repenting our sins.

We're crying for betraying you.

We're paying for our mistakes.

We're paying for our mistakes.

We're repenting our sins.

We're crying for betraying you.

We'll never let tears touch your eyes.

We'll make sure you're always happy.

We are no longer who we once were.

Swearing to never break your heart again.

We'd die without you, believe us.

We're repenting our sins.

We're crying for betraying you.

Listen, beloved. In your love,

I will cross all limits

That's how we took our nuptial rounds-

made promises to stay together forever.

But we didn't honor those vows or those promises.

We're fools.

We had a visa for seven lifetimes...

but we ran after a seven-day love visa.

This is my fault.

If I hadn't come up with that stupid idea,

we wouldn't be in this mess today.

Hit me. Slap me.

Slap me hard.

I deserve it.

Rascals!

You took advantage of my weak emotional moment!

Hey... our wives!

Hide! Hide! Hide!

Wait!

Yes?

Come, dear.

Are the passes for tomorrow night confirmed?

Yes, sir. All set.

Tonight will be the most romantic night of the year.

- Tonight! - Tonight!

Tonight!

Goodbye.

See you tonight.

Tonight's party is just an excuse.

The real party begins after that.

Tonight, on Valentine's night,

we three young men

will have the time of our lives with their youth,

Don Pablo.

Tonight, the serpents will dance in their rooms...

and with them will dance-

the king of serpents.

Come on!

Shit.

Tonight, after the party,

these rascals plan to have an after-party in our wives' rooms.

And after that party... we'll be ruined.

Think. Think! We've got to stop this serpent dance!

Yes, think fast!

Friends... this time, I have an idea.

Why did you hit me?! It's his idea!

Sorry, buddy...

but every time I hear "idea," I just feel like slapping you!

Hear me out!

Enough of the drama.

Now, we'll give Pablo, Sid, and Virat-A.V.

- A.V.? - What's that?

Anti-Viagra.

This pill is given to animals

when they're overly excited for mating.

It calms them down completely.

Ohhh...

why do you even carry that around?

After what those animals did to me in the zoo,

I don't trust any animal anymore.

- Meet! - What?!

Then why didn't you give it to the horse that chased me?!

- Did you ask me?! - No!

Alright, let's finish the plan.

Good idea.

Tonight, at the party,

we'll drop one pill each into their drinks.

Yes!

After that-for 24 hours-

even if the serpent dances before them,

or the snake charmer tries his best,

the king will stay fast asleep in his burrow.

Stay asleep! Stay asleep!

Nagoba!

If you're the night, I am the morning.

If you're the snake, I am your charmer.

If you're the night, I am the morning.

If you're the snake, I am your charmer.

Hold me tight in your arms.

This is your chance- come and bite me.

Your youth is so deceiving.

Your waist moves like a serpent,

swaying to my melody.

Your waist moves like a serpent,

swaying to my melody.

Your waist moves like a serpent,

swaying to my melody.

There's a little misunderstanding between us,

but once we talk, everything will be clear.

There's a little misunderstanding between us,

but once we talk, everything will be clear.

Whether you go left or right, you can't escape your hero.

I'll handle your attitude.

I'll calm you when you're upset.

I've made up my mind- I'm not leaving without you.

Why does your look seem so different?

When you go home with me,

all the other serpents will scatter.

Your waist moves like a serpent,

swaying to my melody.

Your waist moves like a serpent,

swaying to my melody.

First tell me what my mistake was,

and punish me however you wish.

Your lover stands here, head bowed-

we'll accept whatever you say.

You're the one we worship.

We'll never go astray again.

You're always right, baby.

It's all my fault.

It's all my fault.

Your waist moves like a serpent,

swaying to my melody.

- It's this. - Hurry up.

Room number 49, 59, 69.

- Amar... - Yes?

Will this A.V. even work?

- A.V.? - You mean Anti-Viagra?

Of course! It should!

And if it doesn't?

Then we're doomed.

Take it out.

Aanchal. Gita. Bindiya.

Let's go.

I went in to have fun,

but my plans were crushed!

I thought my gun would fire like a cannon...

but it turned out worse than a water jet!

How did my Made-in-Russia weapon suddenly

become Made-in-China?!

Nothing happened!

Sir! Sir! I saw these three mix some pills in your drinks!

So they're the culprits!

Run!

This way! Here!

Hey, what should we do next?

You go behind. Get inside it.

Hide! Hide!

Come on. Come on.

Run! Run!

Oh, God...

why is it that whether it's a man or a horse-

they're always chasing me?!

Get inside the hospital before they kill us!

Run! Run!

Where did they go?!

Over here! Here!

Yes.

Yes.

Amar, is he dead?!

Don't ask me-he's the doctor!

Prem! Yes?! Check his pulse!

Come on.

Not mine-his!

Yes, yes...

he has no pulse!

Oh, crap. Oh, crap! What do we do now?!

Let's take him to the hospital!

This is the hospital!

Then get me the defibrillator!

The paddles- get me the paddles!

Here! Here! Take them!

Okay, everyone stand back!

All clear!

One, two, three-

Dried figs?

Amar... those aren't figs.

Prem just ripped off his nipples!

Who brings iron presses into an operation theatre?!

This isn't an operation theatre-

it's the hospital laundry!

Before he wakes up and kills us- run! Run!

Mister-your nipples!

Stick them back on!

Run! Run!

Come on, hurry up.

Get out, get out, hurry up.

Come on, come on, Let's go!

There are nooses around our neck.

Oh no! Oh no!

Wipe yourself and run!

Whose phone is ringing?

Mine's ringing.

Mine too...

Why is the horse dancing to the song?

Is he a racehorse or a wedding horse?

Why is he dancing so much?

Toofan, no! Toofan, down!

Thank God it got disconnected.

- Amar! - Amar!

First your leg's heavy, and your leh's heavy too!

Rascal!

I'm sorry!

It got disconnected! It got disconnected!

It's not mine.

It's mine.

How can I disconnect it? My hands are tied!

Meet, disconnect the phone!

But my hands are tied too!

But your legs aren't!

I'm not Baba Ramdev!

What is this? Toofan... what is he doing?

Disconnect it with your leg!

Disconnect it with your leg!

Alright, I'll try... wait...

got it, got it!

Disconnect! Disconnect!

Prem, why is your iPhone 5 turning into an iPhone 15?

Because it's not my phone!

Rascal!

Meet, you're sticking your leg in the wrong places!

Moron! It was my idea!

Enough singing and dancing.

We're about to have TKS.

TKS?

Tusshar Ka Swayamvar?

Not Tusshar's, it's Toofan's!

- No, no, no! - No!

Our horses are doomed!

Once his heart's stuck on a mare...

You're stuck for life!

Stuck. Stuck. Stuck.

Friends, our fate no longer lies in our hands-

but in another body part of his!

No, no!

Call the mare!

No!

Oh God, no, no...

Don't move.

Toofan... Toofan...

Oh no!

Toofan... Toofan..

Your lust has no limits!

Couldn't Prem satisfy you the other night?

But Prem was satisfied!

Rascals, don't remind me!

This Love Visa has stamped our permanent visa.

Yes... after we're gone, tell our wives we're sorry.

We made mistakes in this lifetime,

but if we get another chance in the next, we'

ll never look at other women with wrong intentions.

In fact, we won't even look at our own wives with wrong intentions!

Please... please...

Saved! Saved!

- Saved! - Saved!

- Saved! - Saved!

Why are you behaving like a donkey?

Idiots, look who's here!

The day you three talked about the Love Visa, from that very day,

every man or woman that came into your life

was sent by us.

What?!

What?!

You sent them?

Conspiracy!

Hey, this is...

How far does it go?

Rose Mary karlo...

She's here.

I'm Rosy-the new zookeeper.

Rosy... without the platter!

Him too?

Hey, girls!

Even Pablo, Sid, and Virat?

Absolutely.

I'm not Don Pablo Putinwa.

I'm Inspector Pablo Putinwa-from Bihar!

Gita is my cousin sister.

She's my Ekta Kapoor, and I'm her Tusshar Kapoor!

- What?! - Tusshar Kapoor!

Together, we made this plan.

I told her-give your husbands a Love Visa,

and I'll handle the rest.

And these two helped my brother Pablo.

Before meeting Pablo, I was an insignificant man.

But after meeting him, I became... significant!

Significant... significant!

My first posting in the Bihar police was under Brother Pablo.

Then I went to Thailand, where I joined duty in Bangkok... Kok... Kok...

And then I came straight to England-

to teach you all a lesson... lesson... lesson!

He's screwing us in echo!

I've heard of twists in stories-but here, every twist has its own story!

Feels like we're in Masti Part One,

not Part Four!

This is Part Four-but you three

are still making the same mistakes as Part One!

We love you three so much,

that we planned all this just to teach you a lesson.

And you three love us so much,

that you came here in disguise,

risking your lives to save us from these three.

When we love each other so much,

why do we even need a Love Visa?

And Bindiya-starting today, bring fewer strangers home

and prepare to bring an heir!

Gita-celebrate fewer festivals

and celebrate the festival of love with your husband!

Aanchal-put your phone on silent for a while

and trust him more.

You won't need any app to spy on your husband anymore.

We'll never ask for a Love Visa again.

We'll never ask or give one again.

And to the audience-we request you

never listen to any Kaamraj or Menka again!

Yes!

I swear on Gita again...

You're swearing on my wife again!

Sorry!

I swear we three will never do Masti again!

Who'll do Part Five then?

What?

I meant-we'll never do Masti again!

Never!

Never!

Twinkle-Twinkle shines the star.

Something troubling me, my love.

Shaking, shaking, the cords of my heart.

What? Come again.

Tonight is the sum of the reminder of unbalanced equation

inherent to the hormonal disprogramming

of the problem called love.

While it remains a burden to seductively avoid it.

It is not unexpected and not beyond a measure of my control.

That is like, something like That, said SEX APPEAR (SHAKESPEARE)

I know, dear.

We started with Masti,

then Grand Masti,

then Great Grand Masti...

Now it's time for Masti Four!

We started with Masti,

then Grand Masti,

then Great Grand Masti...

Now it's time for Masti Four!

You're like a sizzling firecracker.

Explosive like a grenade.

You sizzle like a firecracker.

Explode like a grenade.

One in a million, baby.

Truly enchanting.

I'm Viru, you're my Basanti.

My heart's tingling.

Let my desires be fulfilled.

You're a parched bird,

and I am the sea of beauty.

Come and take a sip from me.

My mischivious lover, come touch me,

my mischivious lover.

My mischivious lover, do masti,

my mischivious lover.

We started with Masti,

then Grand Masti,

then Great Grand Masti...

Now it's time for Masti Four!

Your youth is fiesty.

Hits like a gun,

It's totally solid.

You are strong and robust.

Full of zest.

And really fun.

Such is your magic, it's driving me nuts.

and I am the gush of wind.

Let the sparks fly.

My mischievous lover, come touch me,

my mischievous lover.

My mischivious lover, do masti,

my mischivious lover.