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1
00:00:01,102 --> 00:00:03,069
MAN: Here we go.
HELGA: Arnold.
2
00:00:03,104 --> 00:00:04,670
(YOWLING)
(BARKING)
3
00:00:05,406 --> 00:00:06,438
Hey, Arnold!
4
00:00:07,341 --> 00:00:09,108
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
5
00:00:13,514 --> 00:00:14,546
(CRASHING)
6
00:00:17,585 --> 00:00:18,618
(SCREAMS)
7
00:00:18,653 --> 00:00:19,852
Hey, Arnold!
8
00:00:22,323 --> 00:00:23,455
Arnold.
9
00:00:25,226 --> 00:00:26,258
Arnold.
10
00:00:26,293 --> 00:00:28,427
(SIREN WAILING)
Arnold.
11
00:00:37,371 --> 00:00:39,038
Arnold.
12
00:00:40,608 --> 00:00:42,108
Move it, football head!
13
00:00:42,677 --> 00:00:43,976
ALL: Hey, Arnold!
14
00:00:58,492 --> 00:00:59,658
(FIRE ALARM RINGS)
15
00:01:00,961 --> 00:01:04,830
(SHOUTING) Fire! Fire!
16
00:01:04,865 --> 00:01:06,264
(KIDS SCREAMING)
17
00:01:06,300 --> 00:01:09,802
Stop, stop, it's a
false alarm!
18
00:01:09,837 --> 00:01:12,805
Wait until I get my hands on
the kid who pulled the alarm.
19
00:01:14,175 --> 00:01:15,273
(FIRE ALARM RINGING)
20
00:01:29,990 --> 00:01:31,256
(FIRE ALARM STOPS RINGING)
21
00:01:38,099 --> 00:01:43,135
Eugene Horowitz, you have been
caught red-handed in the
pulling of the fire alarm,
22
00:01:43,170 --> 00:01:45,170
a most serious offense.
23
00:01:45,940 --> 00:01:47,039
But I didn't do it.
24
00:01:47,842 --> 00:01:49,007
(KIDS LAUGHING)
25
00:01:52,012 --> 00:01:56,982
What my client is trying to
say is, he didn't do it,
Your Honor.
26
00:01:57,017 --> 00:02:00,052
Now according to the bylaws of
this school district,
27
00:02:00,087 --> 00:02:05,624
you can only be expelled
after being found guilty by a
jury of your student peers.
28
00:02:07,327 --> 00:02:09,327
(ALL LAUGHING)
29
00:02:09,363 --> 00:02:10,996
(GAVEL BANGING)
30
00:02:11,031 --> 00:02:13,365
(WHISPERING) Face it, Eugene.
You're gonna fry.
31
00:02:13,400 --> 00:02:14,833
I didn't do it.
32
00:02:14,869 --> 00:02:16,334
(ALL LAUGHING HYSTERICALLY)
33
00:02:16,370 --> 00:02:18,270
Bye, Eagle Scouts.
34
00:02:20,307 --> 00:02:22,641
HELGA: Guilty! Guilty!
35
00:02:23,210 --> 00:02:25,710
Guilty! Guilty!
36
00:02:27,281 --> 00:02:29,214
Fudgy nut-nut bar?
37
00:02:29,250 --> 00:02:32,818
It's on the back Madam
Fortress mommy!
38
00:02:32,853 --> 00:02:34,987
Oh! Guilty, and
39
00:02:35,022 --> 00:02:36,321
not guilty?
40
00:02:36,356 --> 00:02:38,390
HAROLD: Come on, get this
stuff out of the way.
41
00:02:38,425 --> 00:02:39,858
All right, who's the bonehead?
42
00:02:39,894 --> 00:02:42,527
Helga, our votes are
supposed to be secret.
43
00:02:42,562 --> 00:02:44,029
Yeah, right, Phoebe.
44
00:02:44,064 --> 00:02:46,932
Quit kidding around and change
your votes, so we can get out
of here.
45
00:02:46,967 --> 00:02:49,034
I got tickets to WrestleMania.
46
00:02:49,069 --> 00:02:50,202
HAROLD: And I'm hungry!
47
00:02:50,237 --> 00:02:52,404
HELGA: Yeah, come on!
Let's get this over with.
48
00:02:52,439 --> 00:02:54,173
GERALD: Huh? Not guilty?
49
00:02:54,208 --> 00:02:56,441
Phoebe didn't vote
"not guilty." I did.
50
00:02:57,211 --> 00:02:58,043
HELGA: You?
51
00:02:58,078 --> 00:02:59,544
HAROLD: What'd ya do it for?
52
00:02:59,579 --> 00:03:01,980
Well, I'm not convinced.
He could be innocent.
53
00:03:02,016 --> 00:03:07,886
Yeah! And little green aliens
could be building an advanced
civilization inside my nose.
54
00:03:07,922 --> 00:03:09,521
Come on, Arnold!
55
00:03:09,556 --> 00:03:13,358
No, really. I think there's
reasonable doubt that Eugene
pulled the fire alarm.
56
00:03:13,393 --> 00:03:15,660
What? You gotta be kidding me!
57
00:03:15,696 --> 00:03:17,629
I'll never get out of here
on time.
58
00:03:17,664 --> 00:03:19,431
Come on! What's
more important?
59
00:03:19,466 --> 00:03:23,135
Our petty little pleasures,
or making sure that our
classmate gets a fair trial?
60
00:03:24,371 --> 00:03:27,739
(KIDS GROAN)
(UNINTELLIGIBLE CHATTERING)
61
00:03:27,774 --> 00:03:30,375
Look, the least we could do is
go over the evidence again.
62
00:03:30,410 --> 00:03:31,509
We owe it to Eugene.
63
00:03:32,246 --> 00:03:33,678
(KIDS GROAN)
64
00:03:33,714 --> 00:03:38,217
Fine. If the football head
wants to go through
the evidence... again,
65
00:03:38,252 --> 00:03:40,685
then we'll go through
the evidence... again.
66
00:03:40,721 --> 00:03:42,787
But if I miss WrestleMania,
67
00:03:42,823 --> 00:03:44,823
it's gonna be your butt!
68
00:03:44,859 --> 00:03:46,291
Harold you start.
69
00:03:46,327 --> 00:03:47,893
But I'm hungry.
(STOMACH GROWLING)
70
00:03:48,195 --> 00:03:49,094
Huh!
71
00:03:49,129 --> 00:03:51,830
Here's a banana. Get started.
72
00:03:55,336 --> 00:03:58,303
Okay, well, here's why it had
to be Eugene.
73
00:03:58,339 --> 00:04:02,107
It was just after lunch,
and we was all coming out
of the cafeteria.
74
00:04:02,142 --> 00:04:04,977
I remember, 'cause I just
finished my third
pudding pack,
75
00:04:05,012 --> 00:04:07,445
and I wasn't as hungry as
I usually...
76
00:04:07,481 --> 00:04:09,214
Get on with it, pink boy!
77
00:04:09,250 --> 00:04:11,083
Oh, yeah right, okay.
78
00:04:11,118 --> 00:04:15,820
Anyways, according to the
testifaction of
Squeaky Peterson,
79
00:04:15,856 --> 00:04:18,623
just before the fire alarm
was pulled,
80
00:04:18,658 --> 00:04:20,525
she observified Eugene.
81
00:04:20,560 --> 00:04:23,095
walking right by
the fire alarm!
82
00:04:23,130 --> 00:04:25,130
It was at that moment
83
00:04:25,165 --> 00:04:28,833
that someone, unknownst to the
rest of us,
84
00:04:28,869 --> 00:04:31,203
but definitely not me,
you guys,
85
00:04:31,238 --> 00:04:35,340
pulled Squeaky's right pigtail
hard, detracting her.
86
00:04:35,376 --> 00:04:39,844
While Squeaky was detracted,
someone pulled the fire alarm!
87
00:04:39,880 --> 00:04:43,048
And who was right there?
Who? Who?
88
00:04:43,083 --> 00:04:45,050
No one else but...
89
00:04:46,853 --> 00:04:48,686
(CHOKES ON BANANA)
90
00:04:48,722 --> 00:04:50,956
Out of the way!
I'm a certified CPU.
91
00:04:54,028 --> 00:04:56,494
Ah, that's better!
92
00:04:56,530 --> 00:05:01,533
What monkey-boy here is trying
to say is that Eugene
had the opportunity.
93
00:05:01,568 --> 00:05:04,502
So Eugene had the opportunity,
Helga. So what?
94
00:05:04,538 --> 00:05:07,572
There were lots of kids there.
They all had the
same opportunity!
95
00:05:07,607 --> 00:05:10,708
Well, how many kids had peanut
butter smeared all over them?
96
00:05:10,744 --> 00:05:13,711
His hands were covered with
it! So was the fire alarm!
97
00:05:13,747 --> 00:05:15,647
Peanut butter is not proof
of anything.
98
00:05:15,682 --> 00:05:18,250
What about the glasses,
the footprints?
99
00:05:18,285 --> 00:05:21,320
Slow down! Let's look at all
the evidence, one thing
at a time.
100
00:05:22,456 --> 00:05:24,957
Fine! Who wants to talk about
the evidence?
101
00:05:24,992 --> 00:05:26,959
I believe I took all notes
on it, Helga.
102
00:05:26,994 --> 00:05:29,328
Then spill it, sister, and
make it snappy.
103
00:05:29,363 --> 00:05:32,797
It's not every day the
Bloated Bill wrestles
Haystacks Calhoun,
104
00:05:32,833 --> 00:05:34,866
and I'm not going to miss it.
105
00:05:34,901 --> 00:05:37,135
I believe that we've already
established that
106
00:05:37,171 --> 00:05:39,104
the peanut butter smeared on
the fire alarm
107
00:05:39,139 --> 00:05:42,607
was of the same style, creamy,
as Eugene usually eats.
108
00:05:42,642 --> 00:05:45,710
Although he testified he has
also enjoyed chunky
on occasions,
109
00:05:45,745 --> 00:05:48,680
though usually when his mom
was out of creamy,
but we all know that...
110
00:05:48,715 --> 00:05:51,249
(SCREAMING) Phoebe, while
we're young, please!
111
00:05:51,285 --> 00:05:52,951
I'm surrounded.
112
00:05:52,987 --> 00:05:55,520
Hurrying. Um, in addition to
the peanut butter evidence,
113
00:05:55,555 --> 00:05:58,656
a pair of eyeglasses were
found a few feet from the
scene of the crime.
114
00:05:58,692 --> 00:06:00,292
A few minutes after
the fire alarm,
115
00:06:00,327 --> 00:06:02,227
the students were allowed to
reenter the building.
116
00:06:02,262 --> 00:06:04,529
It was at this point,
the eyeglasses in question
117
00:06:04,564 --> 00:06:06,798
were discovered by
our classmate, Sid.
118
00:06:06,833 --> 00:06:09,167
Hey, these appear to
be Eugene's.
119
00:06:09,203 --> 00:06:12,204
Look everybody,
Eugene's glasses!
120
00:06:12,239 --> 00:06:14,672
Boy howdy, Eugene is
gonna fry!
121
00:06:14,708 --> 00:06:17,309
Hmm, these are
Eugene's glasses.
122
00:06:18,845 --> 00:06:21,346
Since the eyeglasses which
have been positively
identified
123
00:06:21,382 --> 00:06:24,949
as belonging to Eugene were
discovered next to
the fire alarm,
124
00:06:24,985 --> 00:06:28,553
and since it was a Tuesday and
on Tuesdays Eugene has
to wear his glasses...
125
00:06:28,588 --> 00:06:31,423
Get to the
footprints, brainiac!
126
00:06:31,458 --> 00:06:33,358
Footprints were found leading
up to the fire alarm
127
00:06:33,394 --> 00:06:34,959
and then into a nearby
broom closet.
128
00:06:34,995 --> 00:06:38,897
They were of the same size and
unusual make of Eugene's
distinctive sandals.
129
00:06:40,034 --> 00:06:41,500
And finally,
130
00:06:41,535 --> 00:06:44,536
a pencil stub with the word
"Wanky Land" was found outside
the broom closet.
131
00:06:45,506 --> 00:06:47,239
Aha, Wanky Land!
132
00:06:47,274 --> 00:06:49,674
Therefore in conclusion, it...
133
00:06:49,709 --> 00:06:52,944
Appears that Eugene is as
guilty as sin!
134
00:06:52,979 --> 00:06:55,713
Come on Arnold! Peanut butter
on the fire alarm,
135
00:06:55,749 --> 00:06:58,950
glasses on the floor,
footprints from some
fancy sandals.
136
00:06:58,985 --> 00:07:01,520
Criminy! What more evidence
do you need?
137
00:07:01,555 --> 00:07:03,688
Hey, Arnold,
Helga's right, man.
138
00:07:03,723 --> 00:07:07,259
I mean, face it! Eugene was
hiding in the broom closet.
139
00:07:07,294 --> 00:07:08,626
Exactly!
140
00:07:08,662 --> 00:07:12,030
What Geraldo here is trying to
say is that
141
00:07:12,066 --> 00:07:15,233
Eugene was caught in the act
of fleeing from the scene of
the crime.
142
00:07:15,269 --> 00:07:18,937
Helga, baby, put your feet up.
I'll tell it.
143
00:07:18,972 --> 00:07:22,974
Now, I think a minute there
about the above-mentioned
heinous crime
144
00:07:23,009 --> 00:07:24,276
(LAUGHS STRANGELY)
145
00:07:24,311 --> 00:07:27,011
Eugene must have figured that
he could hide in
the broom closet,
146
00:07:27,047 --> 00:07:31,883
until all the kids ran past,
but he accidentally locked
himself in.
147
00:07:31,918 --> 00:07:34,419
EUGENE: Hello? Could someone
please let me out?
148
00:07:34,455 --> 00:07:38,223
And that's where the Principal
found him
about a minute later.
149
00:07:40,260 --> 00:07:43,161
So, therefore Arnold,
we can conclude,
150
00:07:43,197 --> 00:07:46,731
that Eugene's not exactly a
criminal mastermind,
151
00:07:46,766 --> 00:07:50,735
but he did get caught fleeing
from the scene.
152
00:07:50,770 --> 00:07:52,337
He's guilty, man!
153
00:07:52,372 --> 00:07:55,640
So he was in a closet.
We found Eugene locked
in closets before.
154
00:07:55,675 --> 00:07:58,243
Look, you guys, I'm not saying
Eugene couldn't have done it.
155
00:07:58,278 --> 00:08:01,012
I'm just saying that I still
have reasonable doubt.
156
00:08:01,047 --> 00:08:03,515
What? Oh, come on, Arnold!
157
00:08:03,550 --> 00:08:06,184
Eugene's guilty three ways
to Sunday.
158
00:08:06,220 --> 00:08:08,653
You know it, I know it,
the American people know it.
159
00:08:08,688 --> 00:08:10,722
How can you possibly have
any doubts?
160
00:08:10,757 --> 00:08:13,891
Hey, it makes just as much
sense as anything else.
161
00:08:13,927 --> 00:08:16,628
Okay, here's my version.
162
00:08:16,663 --> 00:08:18,196
Maybe when he was
eating lunch,
163
00:08:18,232 --> 00:08:20,465
someone distracted him from
his peanut butter sandwich...
164
00:08:20,501 --> 00:08:21,600
KID: Hey, Melvin.
165
00:08:22,102 --> 00:08:23,468
Who, me?
166
00:08:28,142 --> 00:08:30,408
Later, when Eugene was going
to class
167
00:08:30,444 --> 00:08:34,045
he could've tripped just like
he does every day for one
reason or another.
168
00:08:34,080 --> 00:08:35,213
I'm fine.
169
00:08:37,217 --> 00:08:38,617
Here, I'll help you!
170
00:08:38,652 --> 00:08:42,020
Oh, thanks. Must've been a
bump in the hallway there.
171
00:08:42,055 --> 00:08:45,123
I lost my balance. I can't see
a thing without my glasses,
of course.
172
00:08:45,159 --> 00:08:45,990
No problem.
173
00:08:47,961 --> 00:08:49,227
(FIRE ALARM RINGING)
174
00:08:55,068 --> 00:08:56,201
You see what I mean?
175
00:08:56,236 --> 00:08:58,570
Every single piece of evidence
could've been set up.
176
00:08:58,605 --> 00:09:00,305
And there's even one
piece of evidence
177
00:09:00,340 --> 00:09:02,374
that couldn't possibly have
come from Eugene.
178
00:09:02,409 --> 00:09:05,443
And what evidence is that,
head boy?
179
00:09:05,479 --> 00:09:06,778
The Wanky Land pencil.
180
00:09:06,813 --> 00:09:08,112
(EXCLAIM IN SURPRISE)
181
00:09:08,148 --> 00:09:09,981
Everyone knows Eugene.
182
00:09:10,016 --> 00:09:13,785
He's been in more accidents
this year alone than all
of us combined.
183
00:09:13,820 --> 00:09:16,921
And everyone knows that Eugene
was banned last fall
from Wanky Land
184
00:09:16,956 --> 00:09:18,423
when he tripped
off the bandstand
185
00:09:18,458 --> 00:09:21,426
and caused the whole
Thanksgiving Day parade
to crash!
186
00:09:21,461 --> 00:09:24,229
Anyway, even though he
loves Wanky Land,
187
00:09:24,264 --> 00:09:26,464
it's not likely he would have
one of their pencils,
188
00:09:26,500 --> 00:09:28,366
since he hasn't been
near there since.
189
00:09:28,402 --> 00:09:29,634
(GULPING)
190
00:09:29,670 --> 00:09:32,103
So why would Eugene have a
Wanky Land pencil?
191
00:09:32,138 --> 00:09:34,472
Because someone planted it
outside the broom closet
192
00:09:34,508 --> 00:09:36,641
with a motive to frame him,
that's why.
193
00:09:36,677 --> 00:09:38,410
And who has that motive?
194
00:09:38,445 --> 00:09:40,712
ARNOLD: Someone who
hates Eugene.
195
00:09:40,747 --> 00:09:42,814
Someone who has reason
to harm him.
196
00:09:42,849 --> 00:09:45,950
Someone... (ECHOING) Someone,
Someone...
197
00:09:46,953 --> 00:09:49,087
Okay, okay, I did it!
198
00:09:49,122 --> 00:09:51,823
I confess, I planted
the peanut butter,
199
00:09:51,858 --> 00:09:55,927
I made the shoe prints, I left
the glasses at the scene
of the crime!
200
00:09:55,962 --> 00:09:57,596
But why, Curly?
201
00:09:57,631 --> 00:10:00,565
Because three months,
two weeks, and four days ago,
202
00:10:00,601 --> 00:10:02,467
Eugene borrowed my
favorite pencil.
203
00:10:02,502 --> 00:10:05,437
The pencil I got last summer
at Wanky Land,
204
00:10:05,472 --> 00:10:07,706
and then, when he finally
returned it,
205
00:10:07,741 --> 00:10:09,874
it had chew marks all over it!
206
00:10:09,909 --> 00:10:12,777
And he sharpened it down to
the metal parts!
207
00:10:12,812 --> 00:10:15,079
I couldn't sleep,
I couldn't eat.
208
00:10:15,115 --> 00:10:18,950
All I could think about was
Eugene writing with my pencil,
209
00:10:18,985 --> 00:10:23,555
Eugene chewing on my eraser
and Eugene...
210
00:10:23,590 --> 00:10:26,958
(IN A SHRIEKING VOICE)
Sharpening, sharpening,
sharpening
211
00:10:27,927 --> 00:10:29,327
(LAUGHING LIKE A MANIAC)
212
00:10:29,363 --> 00:10:32,830
and when he finally
gives it back to me, he says,
213
00:10:32,866 --> 00:10:36,033
"Oh, here, Curly."
214
00:10:37,837 --> 00:10:40,972
Like it was no big deal!
215
00:10:41,007 --> 00:10:43,975
I couldn't just take that
lying down. I had to
do something.
216
00:10:44,010 --> 00:10:45,810
So I got this plan, see?
217
00:10:45,845 --> 00:10:47,211
The fire alarm!
218
00:10:47,247 --> 00:10:50,081
I'd pull it, and then I'd
frame Eugene for the crime!
219
00:10:50,116 --> 00:10:52,584
All I needed to do was plant
the right clues.
220
00:10:52,619 --> 00:10:55,787
The peanut butter, the glasses
and to top it all off,
221
00:10:55,822 --> 00:10:57,422
the pencil!
222
00:10:57,457 --> 00:10:59,924
Bingo! He'd be branded
for life!
223
00:10:59,959 --> 00:11:02,126
(LAUGHING DIABOLICALLY)
224
00:11:08,001 --> 00:11:11,436
In light of recent evidence
and at the request of the
student jury,
225
00:11:11,471 --> 00:11:13,705
the court finds Eugene...
Innocent!
226
00:11:14,675 --> 00:11:16,741
(KIDS CHEERING)
227
00:11:16,777 --> 00:11:19,711
I never lost faith in you.
228
00:11:19,746 --> 00:11:24,382
You know what, not so many
kids would have stood up to
the whole jury like you did.
229
00:11:24,418 --> 00:11:26,250
I had to do it, Gerald.
230
00:11:26,286 --> 00:11:28,753
You're a bold kid!
231
00:11:30,691 --> 00:11:32,890
So you admit you pulled
the fire alarm?
232
00:11:32,926 --> 00:11:34,759
(LAUGHING LIKE A LUNATIC)
That's right!
233
00:11:34,795 --> 00:11:36,428
I did it!
234
00:11:36,463 --> 00:11:39,731
I pulled the fire alarm.
235
00:11:39,766 --> 00:11:42,667
And I'd do it again, too. See?
236
00:11:42,703 --> 00:11:44,168
(FIRE ALARM RINGING)
237
00:11:44,204 --> 00:11:47,339
(LAUGHING LIKE A MANIAC)
238
00:11:47,374 --> 00:11:48,039
WARTZ: Stop that!
239
00:11:54,114 --> 00:11:58,617
Deepest hole, 7265 feet!
240
00:11:58,886 --> 00:12:00,385
Wow!
241
00:12:00,421 --> 00:12:04,255
Most kites on single string,
11284.
242
00:12:04,291 --> 00:12:08,326
Most chocolate chips
in a single cookie, 2684.6.
243
00:12:08,361 --> 00:12:10,729
All right, chocolate!
244
00:12:11,231 --> 00:12:12,931
(CHATTERING)
245
00:12:12,966 --> 00:12:14,800
Most pokes on a pogo stick.
246
00:12:14,835 --> 00:12:16,635
Fattest worm!
247
00:12:16,670 --> 00:12:20,038
Most bones broken in a single
bicycle accident!
248
00:12:20,073 --> 00:12:22,373
What you dork wads doing now?
249
00:12:22,409 --> 00:12:24,342
We're just reading this book
of World Records.
250
00:12:24,377 --> 00:12:25,276
It's great!
251
00:12:25,312 --> 00:12:27,378
Let me see that thing.
252
00:12:27,414 --> 00:12:32,651
Most fingertip push-ups? Most
consecutive nights sleeping
with scorpions?
253
00:12:32,686 --> 00:12:35,654
Criminy! What a bunch of geeks
and weirdos!
254
00:12:35,689 --> 00:12:38,957
This isn't a book of records,
it's a book of morons.
255
00:12:38,992 --> 00:12:42,427
Come on, Helga. I mean, sure,
there's a lot of weird stuff
in here,
256
00:12:42,463 --> 00:12:45,396
but there's a lot of cool
stuff too... Like this...
257
00:12:45,432 --> 00:12:48,667
The largest bubblegum bubble
was blown by Phyllis Serenson,
258
00:12:48,702 --> 00:12:51,235
of Moose Jaw, Saskatchewan.
259
00:12:51,271 --> 00:12:55,306
It was 33 inches across and
took 46 pieces of gum to make.
260
00:12:55,709 --> 00:12:57,108
Yeah, big deal!
261
00:12:57,143 --> 00:13:00,311
Does it say how long it took her
to pull all the gum off her face?
262
00:13:00,347 --> 00:13:01,880
No, you know why?
263
00:13:01,915 --> 00:13:03,381
'Cause it's dumb!
264
00:13:03,416 --> 00:13:06,417
I mean, who cares how many
pogos some guy did
in Timbuktu?
265
00:13:06,720 --> 00:13:07,953
Nobody!
266
00:13:07,988 --> 00:13:11,623
If you dweebs wanna sit there
reading that dumb book, fine!
267
00:13:11,658 --> 00:13:13,525
But I've got more important
things to do.
268
00:13:13,560 --> 00:13:16,127
Come on, Phoebe, let's get
down to the river and
throw rocks.
269
00:13:16,162 --> 00:13:18,463
And by the way,
it's Saskatchewan,
270
00:13:18,499 --> 00:13:22,100
a province in Canada, our
neighbor in the north,
football brain.
271
00:13:27,240 --> 00:13:28,940
Helga's wrong about this book.
272
00:13:28,976 --> 00:13:32,076
I don't know. She made a
couple of good points.
273
00:13:32,112 --> 00:13:35,947
I mean, who really cares how
many sardines a guy
can clean in an hour?
274
00:13:35,983 --> 00:13:38,984
Gerald, the people
in this book are the best
in the world.
275
00:13:39,019 --> 00:13:41,185
They're at the forefront
of human achievement.
276
00:13:41,221 --> 00:13:45,089
To be listed in the book of
World Records is to get a
little piece of immortality.
277
00:13:45,125 --> 00:13:46,090
Uh huh!
278
00:13:46,126 --> 00:13:47,759
You wanna go down the river
and throw rocks?
279
00:13:47,794 --> 00:13:49,928
Gerald, don't you see
what I'm trying to say?
280
00:13:49,963 --> 00:13:51,596
If you and I broke
a world record,
281
00:13:51,632 --> 00:13:53,765
we'd be listed in this
book forever.
282
00:13:53,800 --> 00:13:56,067
Yeah, maybe pretty cool.
283
00:13:56,102 --> 00:13:59,103
But come on, Arnold!
What world record could
we break?
284
00:13:59,139 --> 00:14:00,639
I don't know, but if we
break one,
285
00:14:00,674 --> 00:14:03,942
we'll be the most famous kids
in the whole city.
286
00:14:05,145 --> 00:14:06,377
Walking backwards.
287
00:14:07,147 --> 00:14:08,880
Wait a minute! Tell me again.
288
00:14:08,916 --> 00:14:10,949
Now, why do we pay
walking backwards?
289
00:14:10,984 --> 00:14:11,816
It's a classic!
290
00:14:11,852 --> 00:14:12,817
Oh, yeah.
291
00:14:22,963 --> 00:14:24,095
(PANTING)
292
00:14:24,865 --> 00:14:26,631
So how far do you think
we've gone?
293
00:14:26,667 --> 00:14:27,899
About a mile.
294
00:14:27,935 --> 00:14:29,300
What's the record?
295
00:14:29,335 --> 00:14:31,302
Let me check.
296
00:14:31,337 --> 00:14:35,574
Frannie Cardell walked
backwards from Santa Monica,
California to Istanbul,
297
00:14:35,609 --> 00:14:38,877
8773 miles!
298
00:14:38,912 --> 00:14:39,644
(SIGHS)
299
00:14:39,680 --> 00:14:41,312
Let's try somethin' else.
300
00:14:41,915 --> 00:14:43,648
(GRUNTING)
301
00:14:49,957 --> 00:14:50,989
(CRASHES)
302
00:15:08,108 --> 00:15:10,208
How about flaming limbo
dancing?
303
00:15:10,243 --> 00:15:12,510
You kiddin'? I don't wanna
burn my belly.
304
00:15:12,545 --> 00:15:15,246
Okay, what about
chainsaw juggling?
305
00:15:15,782 --> 00:15:17,115
Skip on down.
306
00:15:17,150 --> 00:15:18,650
Man full of bees?
307
00:15:18,685 --> 00:15:21,653
Forget it, Arnold. We're never
gonna find a world record
we could break.
308
00:15:21,688 --> 00:15:23,722
You guys still trying to
break a world record?
309
00:15:23,757 --> 00:15:24,689
BOTH: Yeah.
310
00:15:24,725 --> 00:15:26,691
You don't have to do that kind
of stuff.
311
00:15:26,727 --> 00:15:28,893
You should do stuff you
already know you can do.
312
00:15:28,929 --> 00:15:30,862
except that it doesn't really
take any talent.
313
00:15:30,897 --> 00:15:33,098
You know, kids' stuff like...
314
00:15:33,133 --> 00:15:35,600
Most days without taking
a bath.
315
00:15:35,636 --> 00:15:36,601
Yeah!
316
00:15:36,637 --> 00:15:37,636
(LAUGHING)
317
00:15:50,617 --> 00:15:51,983
GRANDPA: Here they come!
318
00:15:53,887 --> 00:15:55,787
GRANDMA: Ah! Ha ha. Yay!
319
00:15:58,424 --> 00:16:00,258
(UNINTELLIGIBLE CHATTERING)
320
00:16:01,194 --> 00:16:02,827
HELGA: Face the fact,
football face.
321
00:16:02,863 --> 00:16:06,597
There's no way you two lame-os
are ever gonna break a
world record.
322
00:16:07,901 --> 00:16:08,867
You're right, Helga.
323
00:16:08,902 --> 00:16:09,901
I am?
324
00:16:09,936 --> 00:16:13,371
The two of us can't. What we
need is more kids!
325
00:16:14,374 --> 00:16:16,074
ARNOLD: Highest pyramid
of kids.
326
00:16:30,557 --> 00:16:32,356
Longest game of
Crack the Whip.
327
00:16:40,000 --> 00:16:41,299
Wee!
328
00:16:46,039 --> 00:16:47,238
Aah!
329
00:16:47,273 --> 00:16:48,439
(CRASHES)
330
00:16:49,042 --> 00:16:50,641
This is not safe.
331
00:16:53,914 --> 00:16:55,980
Most kids riding on
a single bike.
332
00:16:58,151 --> 00:16:59,884
No!
333
00:16:59,920 --> 00:17:01,452
(ALL SCREAMING)
Aah!
334
00:17:04,791 --> 00:17:05,690
Aah!
335
00:17:07,260 --> 00:17:08,727
(CRASHES)
336
00:17:08,762 --> 00:17:09,794
I'm fine!
337
00:17:11,064 --> 00:17:13,464
Hey, I'm not having any fun.
338
00:17:13,499 --> 00:17:16,400
This isn't fun.
You guys stink!
339
00:17:16,436 --> 00:17:20,071
I'm gettin' out of here and
makin' my own world record.
Yeah!
340
00:17:20,107 --> 00:17:21,773
Who's with me?
341
00:17:23,576 --> 00:17:26,310
Uh, I'm in!
342
00:17:26,346 --> 00:17:28,379
This really bites.
343
00:17:28,414 --> 00:17:31,649
I'm not sure how many more
records we can try to break.
344
00:17:33,586 --> 00:17:35,586
I'm game!
345
00:17:35,622 --> 00:17:38,289
Come on, you guys!
We can't give up.
346
00:17:38,324 --> 00:17:40,391
There's plenty of records we
haven't tried yet.
347
00:17:40,426 --> 00:17:43,261
Look, Arnold. Wake up, okay?
348
00:17:43,296 --> 00:17:46,197
I mean, come on, how many
things do you have to fail at?
349
00:17:46,233 --> 00:17:48,733
How many windmills have
to knock you on you butt
350
00:17:48,769 --> 00:17:51,069
before you realize you're just
an average kid
351
00:17:51,104 --> 00:17:52,270
with a bunch of
average friends
352
00:17:52,305 --> 00:17:55,273
and you can't do anything
better than anybody else?
353
00:17:55,909 --> 00:17:57,375
That's not true, Helga.
354
00:17:57,410 --> 00:18:00,678
There's plenty of things we
can be better than
anyone else.
355
00:18:00,713 --> 00:18:04,382
Stinky, nobody else can roll
sleeping bag as tight
as you, right?
356
00:18:04,417 --> 00:18:06,617
Well, uh...
357
00:18:06,653 --> 00:18:10,688
And Phoebe, who else has your
encyclopedic knowledge of
Italian sauces?
358
00:18:10,723 --> 00:18:12,056
(GIGGLING)
359
00:18:12,092 --> 00:18:15,593
Gerald, who else can trap a
bazookini with his
mom's car keys?
360
00:18:16,529 --> 00:18:17,762
Come on, you guys!
361
00:18:18,364 --> 00:18:19,463
Think.
362
00:18:19,499 --> 00:18:21,900
All we've gotta do is figure
out how to combine
363
00:18:21,935 --> 00:18:24,669
these seemingly useless
talents into one idea
364
00:18:24,704 --> 00:18:28,907
to make something so great,
so unique, so incredibly cool
365
00:18:28,942 --> 00:18:32,010
that no one else could
possibly pull off the
same thing.
366
00:18:32,913 --> 00:18:35,346
Great! So, Stinky can roll
something,
367
00:18:35,381 --> 00:18:39,517
Phoebe knows sauces
and Geraldo's
a human vegematic.
368
00:18:39,552 --> 00:18:40,751
So what?
369
00:18:40,787 --> 00:18:43,254
So... so...
We'll cook something.
370
00:18:43,290 --> 00:18:45,156
Yeah, right, what?
371
00:18:45,192 --> 00:18:47,358
Like the world's
biggest casserole?
372
00:18:47,961 --> 00:18:49,427
Biggest donut!
373
00:18:49,462 --> 00:18:50,728
ALL: Yay!
374
00:18:50,763 --> 00:18:52,096
Biggest sundae!
375
00:18:52,132 --> 00:18:53,031
(ALL CHEERING)
376
00:18:53,066 --> 00:18:54,465
Biggest crawdad!
377
00:18:55,101 --> 00:18:56,567
(ALL CHEERING)
378
00:18:56,602 --> 00:18:59,337
No, the world's biggest
pizza puff!
379
00:18:59,806 --> 00:19:01,239
(ALL AGHAST)
380
00:19:01,274 --> 00:19:02,841
Stinky can roll the crust.
381
00:19:02,876 --> 00:19:04,809
Phoebe, you can create
the sauce.
382
00:19:04,845 --> 00:19:07,411
Gerald, you can lead us with
the vegetable chopping.
383
00:19:08,048 --> 00:19:09,247
(ALL CHATTERING)
384
00:19:09,983 --> 00:19:11,049
It'll be huge!
385
00:19:11,084 --> 00:19:13,117
We'll get Mr. Green to
donate salami,
386
00:19:13,153 --> 00:19:15,720
Mrs. Johanssen for the
sacks of flour.
387
00:19:15,755 --> 00:19:18,689
There is a rosemary-oregano
sauce I've been
experimenting with.
388
00:19:19,726 --> 00:19:21,425
(ALL CHEERING)
389
00:19:21,461 --> 00:19:23,294
What's a pizza puff?
390
00:19:23,864 --> 00:19:25,730
Biggest pizza puff!
391
00:19:25,765 --> 00:19:28,933
Oh, brother Arnold. What
a stupid idea!
392
00:19:28,969 --> 00:19:30,969
Where do you come up
with this stuff?
393
00:19:31,872 --> 00:19:34,805
Ah! My love is such
a visionary!
394
00:19:34,841 --> 00:19:36,774
All right, here's the
plan, Brainy.
395
00:19:36,809 --> 00:19:39,543
You go get the quarters from
the very nice people, okay?
396
00:19:39,579 --> 00:19:43,915
And then I'm gonna sit on this
pony until I can break
a world record.
397
00:19:43,950 --> 00:19:45,149
Yeah, are you with me?
398
00:19:45,185 --> 00:19:45,884
Uh huh!
399
00:19:45,919 --> 00:19:46,817
Yeah!
400
00:20:33,033 --> 00:20:35,333
This time I think we really
did it.
401
00:20:35,368 --> 00:20:37,235
I hope we put in enough
baking soda.
402
00:20:37,270 --> 00:20:39,770
One hundred and fifty
teaspoons should be plenty.
403
00:20:39,806 --> 00:20:43,041
Teaspoons? I didn't know
it was teaspoons.
404
00:20:43,076 --> 00:20:45,109
What did you think "tsp"
stood for?
405
00:20:47,613 --> 00:20:49,680
Uh, ten square pounds?
406
00:20:49,715 --> 00:20:50,448
ARNOLD: Uh oh!
407
00:20:52,452 --> 00:20:54,252
Look out! She's gonna blow.
408
00:20:54,988 --> 00:20:56,387
(ALL SCREAMING IN PANIC)
409
00:21:09,635 --> 00:21:11,402
(ALL SIGHING IN
DISAPPOINTMENT)
410
00:21:11,438 --> 00:21:15,340
Well, that's it! We've tried
to break just about every
record in the book.
411
00:21:15,375 --> 00:21:17,342
And we haven't even
gotten close.
412
00:21:17,377 --> 00:21:20,211
I guess that just means
one thing.
413
00:21:20,246 --> 00:21:21,812
What's that, Gerald?
414
00:21:21,848 --> 00:21:25,183
Maybe we're not special.
Maybe we're not unique
415
00:21:25,218 --> 00:21:28,119
and maybe we'll never break
a world record.
416
00:21:28,154 --> 00:21:30,188
Yeah, Gerald, maybe
you're right.
417
00:21:33,626 --> 00:21:34,658
Unless...
418
00:21:34,694 --> 00:21:35,893
Unless what?
419
00:21:35,928 --> 00:21:38,329
No time to talk, Gerald.
I gotta letter to write.
I'll see ya.
420
00:21:39,432 --> 00:21:42,100
Poor boy! He just can't
face the fact.
421
00:21:50,877 --> 00:21:52,377
(DOGS BARKING AT A DISTANCE)
422
00:21:56,249 --> 00:21:58,483
We did it! We did it!
423
00:21:58,518 --> 00:22:01,752
I'll say you did it and we're
still cleaning it up, too.
424
00:22:01,787 --> 00:22:04,022
Arnold, what in the world
is that?
425
00:22:04,957 --> 00:22:06,424
(ALL CHATTERING)
426
00:22:07,660 --> 00:22:09,727
Now what, football head?
427
00:22:09,762 --> 00:22:11,829
It's from the people at the
book of world records.
428
00:22:11,864 --> 00:22:14,098
They say they're gonna put us
in the book.
429
00:22:14,134 --> 00:22:15,366
(ALL ASTONISHED) What?
430
00:22:15,402 --> 00:22:18,736
Huh? Why are they gonna
do that? We didn't break
any record.
431
00:22:18,771 --> 00:22:20,271
Oh yes, we did!
432
00:22:20,306 --> 00:22:23,641
We broke the record for most
attempts to get in the
book of world records.
433
00:22:23,676 --> 00:22:26,644
They say we're the most
determined neighborhood
they'd ever heard of.
434
00:22:27,213 --> 00:22:28,679
(ALL CHEERING)
435
00:22:29,715 --> 00:22:31,582
We're famous! We're famous!
436
00:22:31,617 --> 00:22:33,617
My love has done it again!
437
00:22:33,653 --> 00:22:36,720
We're special, we're unique,
we're one of a kind!
438
00:22:36,756 --> 00:22:40,425
Oh, joy! Oh, rapture!
Oh, ecstasy!
439
00:22:41,661 --> 00:22:44,495
Ah! I knew it all along.
33459
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