Original subtitles

MAN: Here we go. HELGA: Arnold.

(YOWLING) (BARKING)

Hey, Arnold!

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)

(CRASHING)

(SCREAMS)

Hey, Arnold!

Arnold.

Arnold.

(SIREN WAILING) Arnold.

Arnold.

Move it, football head!

ALL: Hey, Arnold!

(ABNER GRUNTING)

Abner, stop it.

Oh, Abner, you're such a pig.

(GRUNTING)

Okay. Okay, I'll get your breakfast.

Okay, it's coming.

What have we got for you this morning?

Hmm, a little dog food,

some egg shells.

Hmm, a banana peel,

and to top it off a very special treat.

(GRUNTING)

You know, boy,

you're more fun than a hundred dogs put together.

(YAWNS)

Well, I better get some sleep.

Good night, Abner. (GRUNTING)

(SNORING)

(SNARLS)

(LOW GROWL)

Here you go, Abner.

In. Out.

In. Out.

Out. Out. Out.

No, Abner, no!

(GRUNTING) (MEOWING)

Abner?

Must be getting a drink out of the toilet again.

Abner?

Abner?

Abner?

Abner?

Abner!

Abner!

Abner!

Abner!

Abner!

Abner!

No!

Grandma, Grandpa, Abner's gone.

Anyone for bacon?

Come on, you guys,

don't you understand? He's gone.

He's run away.

Oh now, don't get yourself all in a snit.

Abner knows his way back home. It's instinct.

I don't know, Gramps, pigs aren't dogs, you know.

They can't just figure out how to get home automatically.

It's like they've got a big chunk of their brain missing or something.

(GRUNTS)

Abner!

Abner!

Abner!

Abner!

Abner!

Abner! What?

What?

Oh, leave me alone.

Well, he's about this tall,

he's got pink skin with little hairs all over his body,

a big flat nose

and his tail is so curly, when you pull it out, it goes poing!

Hey!

GERALD: Hey, man, how's the search going?

Not so good, Gerald.

I have tried everything I can think of,

but I can't find Abner anywhere.

Well, did you try going down to the dump and yelling, "Sooey!"

Come on, Gerald, this is serious.

It is a scary world out there.

I just hope he is okay.

I am sorry, Arnold.

He is probably okay. I mean, come on,

how much trouble can a pig get into?

Hey, Morty, we're one pig skin short of an order here.

MAN: Hey! There is a live one!

(ABNER GRUNTING)

Get back here, you football.

(KNOCKING AT DOOR)

Hey there, short-man, how's it going?

Not so good, Grandpa.

I just keep thinking about Abner.

Oh yeah, me, too.

I wouldn't sit on the chair, Grandpa, it's pretty wobbly.

Oh, nonsense, it's perfect.

See?

Why did he run away from me, Grandpa?

He was my friend, my pal.

Why?

Well, boy, you can't force animals to do what you want them to do.

People neither for that matter.

Except your great Uncle Phil.

Oh, I could get him to do anything.

Stand on his head, suck his toes.

Of course, he ran away, too. Eventually.

Think Abner hasn't come back because

he doesn't wanna be my pet anymore?

No, I think Abner hasn't come back because he is...

Well, he is dumb. He's a dumb pig.

But that is not the point.

The fact is, he might never come back.

And if he doesn't,

you gotta remember all the good times you had together,

not the bad.

You're right, Grandpa.

I'll always remember the way he used to roll around in the mud.

Oh, yeah.

The way he used to knock over the garbage cans.

The way he used to eat egg shells and coffee grounds...

Yes, I remember.

Hey, wait a minute. That's it.

Egg shells. Coffee grounds.

I know how to get Abner to come back.

Grandpa, you're brilliant.

Brilliant.

(KISSES)

But I didn't...

Uh... Ah, kid's right.

Brilliant does pretty much describe me. Yeah.

(GROANS)

(WIND BLOWING)

(ABNER SNIFFING)

(OINKING)

It's not working, Arnold.

It's gotta work. It's just gotta.

Well, it is not and it is making me sick.

Hey, look!

(OINKING)

(NEIGHBORS CHEERING)

Abner! Abner!

It kind of brings a tear to your eye.

No, that's just the onions.

(BOTH SOBBING)

Abner, you're the best pig a kid could ever have.

GRANDPA: Hey, Arnold.

Hey, Arnold. What, Grandpa?

Listen, when you finish that I need you to do me a favor.

Okay.

Go down to the jewelry store and give the man this receipt.

He'ill give you my gold watch. Had it cleaned.

Get it back here in one piece and you'll be a real hero.

You mean your Schnitzenbauer Time Master 909

with a Swiss polar align triple synchronous movement escapement?

That's the one.

Wait a minute.

You never trust anybody with that watch, Grandpa.

Not even Grandma.

Well, short-man, you're nine.

And as far as I am concerned,

you are man enough now to take responsibility

for its safekeeping.

I would go myself, but you know

I got my stories this afternoon.

You can count on me, Grandpa.

That watch is as good as home.

(BELL RINGS)

(WATCH TICKING)

Want to go down to the river and throw rocks?

I can't, Gerald, I gotta get this watch back to Grandpa as soon as possible.

Wait a minute.

You mean his Schnitzenbauer Time Master 909

with a Swiss polar align triple synchronous movement escapement?

Yup.

Man, I didn't think he'd trust anybody with that thing.

It is my sacred quest, Gerald.

And nothing is going to stop me from giving it back to him.

Nothing. Hey, what is that over there?

(EXPLOSION)

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

Man, that's one deep hole.

I bet it goes all the way to China.

I bet your mother dropped you on your head.

It's like 8000 frequent flyer miles to China, Pink Boy!

ALL: Wow!

Well, somebody throw something in.

(SID SCREAMS) I mean a rock.

(THUDS)

(SPLASHES)

Man, that's deep.

No!

Man, Arnold, you just lost your Grandpa's watch.

(LAUGHS) See ya, Arnold.

HAROLD: Bye, Arnold. KIDS: Oh brother...

(KIDS LAUGHING AND CHATTERING)

Hey, what are you doing, man?

I'm going down, Gerald.

What? I got it, Gerald.

I told grandpa I'll bring that watch back to him.

I gotta go down and get it.

Are you crazy?

Gerald, what could possibly go wrong?

(RUMBLING) (GERALD SCREAMING)

(BOTH SCREAMING)

Are you coming with me? Okay.

But I am gonna regret it.

GERALD: Man, what died in here?

We should have bought

little pine trees they have in the taxicabs.

It has got to be around here somewhere.

Arnold, what do you say we go back?

I can't go back without Grandpa's watch.

Hey, what's that?

(SQUEAKING)

Come on. Oh man, this really stinks.

(GASPS)

(BOTH SCREAMING)

Ah, my lovely,

you've brought me another trinket from the world above.

Good rat. Faithful rat.

Now get out of here.

(RATS SQUEAKING)

I am Sam, king of the sewers,

prince of the pipes, Duke of the Depths.

Lord of all you see before you.

I guess you got last pick for royal domain, huh?

You must be weary travelers.

Welcome to my palace.

You shall be my royal guests.

Arnold, this guy's a major flake.

Tell me about it.

But look what he's got around his neck.

It looks like your Grandpa's watch.

It is my Grandpa's watch.

Just play along, okay?

Listen, Your Highness, I'm on this quest, see?

Quest, you say. Royal quest?

Yeah, I'm looking for a sacred relic.

It's round and shiny

and it looks just like that.

What? But this is a royal icon.

You cannot have the royal icon.

It's royal plus it's an icon.

Royal icon.

Uh, listen sewer king,

that actually is my grandfather's watch

and we really have to get it back to him.

There is nothing you could do

that would make me want to give you this watch.

Nothing!

Do you play chess?

(STUTTERS) Chess. Uh, chess. Are you kidding?

Oh, it's has been so long since I've played with another human.

Oh, sure the rats will play once in a while

but you can't teach them en passant

or the Sicilian Defence.

And do they know who Boris Spassky is?

No!

Okay. I'll play you for the watch.

And if you lose?

If I lose, you can keep the watch.

And you two shall remain here in my kingdom

as my subjects and royal rat groomers.

ARNOLD: Deal.

Checkmate.

Best two out of three.

Checkmate.

SEWER KING: Three out of five.

ARNOLD: Checkmate.

Eight out of fifteen?

Look, sewer king, I've beaten you, give me the watch.

(BOTH GRUNT)

Come on, man, let's get out of here.

Come back here, rebellious serfs, come back!

(EVIL LAUGH)

(BOTH SCREAMING)

(BOTH PANTING)

GERALD: Arnold!

Look, there's a way out.

(BOTH SCREAMING) GERALD: Let's go!

(STRAINING)

Oh, no! The light! I can't!

Stop!

Well, I'm back.

Hey, short-man, get the watch?

Sure did, Grandpa.

And you will be proud to know that it's in perfect condition.

Just like when I picked it up from the shop.

You did good, Arnold. Oops!

Oh, criminy.

Sounds like it went all the way to China.

(SOBBING)

I've lost it all.

I've lost the royal icon.

The royal rat groomers.

I don't even know what time it is.

The royal icon.

(LAUGHING MANIACALLY)

Oh well, always got to have a backup, Arnold.

(WATCHES TICKING)

Hey, where you goin'?

To take a long hard look at my life.

Well, uh, while you're there,

would you pick up a quart of milk?

(MUSIC PLAYING)