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1
00:00:01,702 --> 00:00:03,867
MAN: Here we go.
HELGA: Arnold.
2
00:00:03,902 --> 00:00:05,233
(YOWLING)
(BARKING)
3
00:00:06,202 --> 00:00:07,467
Hey, Arnold!
4
00:00:07,502 --> 00:00:09,533
(OPENING THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
5
00:00:12,901 --> 00:00:13,899
(CRASHING)
6
00:00:18,468 --> 00:00:19,399
(SCREAMS)
7
00:00:19,434 --> 00:00:20,765
Hey, Arnold!
8
00:00:23,167 --> 00:00:24,332
Arnold.
9
00:00:26,034 --> 00:00:27,032
Arnold!
10
00:00:27,067 --> 00:00:28,965
(SIREN WAILING)
Arnold.
11
00:00:38,000 --> 00:00:39,864
Arnold.
12
00:00:41,400 --> 00:00:43,164
Move it, football head!
13
00:00:43,200 --> 00:00:44,763
ALL: Hey, Arnold!
14
00:00:53,799 --> 00:00:55,230
Hey!
15
00:00:58,998 --> 00:01:01,029
Hey, who's doing that?
Cut it out.
16
00:01:02,864 --> 00:01:04,429
What? What?
17
00:01:04,465 --> 00:01:07,496
(SCOFFS)
Arnold. What a boob.
18
00:01:08,198 --> 00:01:10,196
And yet... (SIGHS)
19
00:01:10,864 --> 00:01:12,463
What a dreamboat.
20
00:01:18,997 --> 00:01:21,962
HELGA: (VOICE-OVER)
Your eyes like two jelly beans
21
00:01:21,997 --> 00:01:24,095
are pools I want to bathe in.
22
00:01:24,130 --> 00:01:26,728
In the classroom,
my heart doth swoon.
23
00:01:26,763 --> 00:01:29,827
And yet, I want
to beat your face in.
24
00:01:29,862 --> 00:01:31,128
(SIGHS)
25
00:01:32,596 --> 00:01:33,994
(SCHOOL BELL RINGS)
26
00:01:34,029 --> 00:01:35,228
(CHATTERING)
27
00:01:36,963 --> 00:01:38,427
HELGA: Move it!
28
00:01:44,662 --> 00:01:46,793
What are you
looking at, geek-bait?
29
00:01:52,196 --> 00:01:54,593
(SIGHS)
(SNIFFS)
30
00:01:54,628 --> 00:01:58,393
(SIGHS)
Suddenly,
I feel inspired.
31
00:02:02,161 --> 00:02:05,725
I close this tome
with my signature, beloved.
32
00:02:05,760 --> 00:02:08,358
H is for the head
I'd like to punt.
33
00:02:08,394 --> 00:02:11,292
E is for every time
I see the little runt.
34
00:02:11,327 --> 00:02:14,792
L is for longing
for our firstist kiss.
35
00:02:14,827 --> 00:02:17,258
G is for how good
that longing is.
36
00:02:17,726 --> 00:02:18,891
(SIGHS)
37
00:02:20,593 --> 00:02:24,991
And A is for
Arnold, of course.
38
00:02:25,026 --> 00:02:26,357
Duh!
39
00:02:29,626 --> 00:02:31,624
One side, moron.
40
00:02:37,758 --> 00:02:39,790
Hey, what's this
little pink book?
41
00:02:39,825 --> 00:02:41,690
It isn't yours?
Please.
42
00:02:42,258 --> 00:02:44,523
(LAUGHING)
43
00:02:44,559 --> 00:02:47,123
What's so funny?
Arnold,
who wrote this stuff?
44
00:02:47,158 --> 00:02:48,290
What is it?
45
00:02:48,325 --> 00:02:50,490
Listen to this.
"To Arnold,
46
00:02:50,525 --> 00:02:52,655
"with the red-hot lips.
ARNOLD: (GASPS)
47
00:02:52,691 --> 00:02:55,689
"Your football head,
your awesome face,
48
00:02:55,724 --> 00:02:59,655
"your grungy chic,
your cat-like grace.
49
00:02:59,691 --> 00:03:02,055
"Whose wet hot lips
do I want to taste?
50
00:03:02,091 --> 00:03:03,755
"Three guesses, stupid.
51
00:03:03,791 --> 00:03:05,489
"Arnold! Arnold! Arnold!"
52
00:03:05,524 --> 00:03:07,255
(EVERYONE LAUGHS)
53
00:03:08,357 --> 00:03:10,488
Well, it must have been
some other Arnold.
54
00:03:10,523 --> 00:03:14,555
It fits your description
pretty well, "hot lips."
55
00:03:14,590 --> 00:03:15,754
Grandpa!
(ALL LAUGH)
56
00:03:15,790 --> 00:03:17,854
Sorry,
I couldn't resist.
57
00:03:17,890 --> 00:03:20,154
ARNOLD: Give me that.
BOY: Hey, let me read one.
58
00:03:20,190 --> 00:03:21,987
(ALL LAUGHING AND TEASING)
59
00:03:22,022 --> 00:03:23,488
MARTY:
So long, Romeo.
60
00:03:30,090 --> 00:03:32,420
(CRASHING AND CLANGING)
61
00:03:33,755 --> 00:03:35,019
(GASPS)
62
00:03:35,055 --> 00:03:36,919
HELGA: (VOICE-OVER)
Oh, my!
63
00:03:36,955 --> 00:03:39,686
(HIGH-PITCHED SCREAM)
64
00:03:42,388 --> 00:03:44,953
Hey!
Listen to this one.
65
00:03:44,988 --> 00:03:47,286
"Let me count the hairs..."
66
00:03:47,321 --> 00:03:49,419
(GERALD LAUGHING)
67
00:03:49,455 --> 00:03:52,018
Why did I sign my name?
68
00:03:52,054 --> 00:03:53,718
I was too bold.
69
00:03:53,753 --> 00:03:55,952
Those poems
weren't meant to be seen
70
00:03:55,987 --> 00:03:57,952
until I'm dead and buried.
71
00:03:57,987 --> 00:04:00,385
And worms
have consumed my flesh.
72
00:04:00,420 --> 00:04:03,185
Arnold must never
see that last page.
73
00:04:05,120 --> 00:04:08,118
Ah, I'll steal inside
his room somehow.
74
00:04:08,153 --> 00:04:10,784
There are ways to find out
who wrote those poems.
75
00:04:10,819 --> 00:04:12,452
Just have to be scientific.
76
00:04:12,487 --> 00:04:14,451
Wait. Don't touch that.
77
00:04:15,486 --> 00:04:16,984
It's evidence.
78
00:04:19,919 --> 00:04:22,184
Note the bite marks
on the pencil.
79
00:04:22,219 --> 00:04:23,417
The strands of hair.
80
00:04:23,453 --> 00:04:26,384
But first, we make
the list of suspects.
81
00:04:26,419 --> 00:04:29,649
Okay, who was there
at the bus stop?
82
00:04:29,685 --> 00:04:31,016
Let's see.
83
00:04:31,052 --> 00:04:32,349
Jennifer was there.
84
00:04:32,385 --> 00:04:34,450
The one who always chews
with her mouth open?
85
00:04:34,485 --> 00:04:36,116
Ugh! No way!
86
00:04:36,151 --> 00:04:38,383
Dodie?
Not!
87
00:04:38,418 --> 00:04:41,116
Hmm...
Some older girls
were there.
88
00:04:41,151 --> 00:04:42,516
Wait a minute.
89
00:04:45,051 --> 00:04:47,083
Ruth McDougal was there.
90
00:04:47,118 --> 00:04:49,116
GERALD: Ruth? Arnold.
91
00:04:49,151 --> 00:04:50,982
She's in the sixth grade.
92
00:04:51,417 --> 00:04:52,915
It could happen.
93
00:04:52,951 --> 00:04:55,948
Dream on.
There's only
one way to find out.
94
00:04:55,983 --> 00:04:58,914
We need to collect
some evidence from
every girl on that list.
95
00:04:58,950 --> 00:05:00,348
That'll take all day.
96
00:05:00,384 --> 00:05:01,847
Not with Abner.
97
00:05:01,883 --> 00:05:03,647
(WHISTLES)
98
00:05:03,683 --> 00:05:05,281
(GRUNTING)
99
00:05:05,716 --> 00:05:08,247
(CHUCKLES) A pig?
100
00:05:08,283 --> 00:05:09,781
What's he going to do?
101
00:05:09,817 --> 00:05:11,614
Here, boy. Smell this.
102
00:05:11,916 --> 00:05:13,180
(SNIFFS)
103
00:05:13,215 --> 00:05:16,414
(SQUEALING)
GERALD: Wow!
Look at him go.
104
00:05:16,450 --> 00:05:17,780
(SQUEALING)
105
00:05:27,281 --> 00:05:29,146
ARNOLD:
Hey, Abner, wait up.
106
00:05:30,014 --> 00:05:31,879
(GASPS)
Wait up!
107
00:05:32,681 --> 00:05:35,112
(SIGHS)
108
00:05:38,014 --> 00:05:41,379
Ha! (GRUNTS) Ow!
109
00:05:43,013 --> 00:05:46,611
I'm in his room.
110
00:05:46,647 --> 00:05:49,678
A place I've often
visited in my dreams.
111
00:05:51,513 --> 00:05:54,144
The temple
of your soul, my love.
112
00:05:56,246 --> 00:05:58,910
(SIGHS)
(SNIFFS)
113
00:05:58,946 --> 00:06:00,244
Oh, my gosh!
114
00:06:00,279 --> 00:06:02,478
What is that shampoo?
115
00:06:02,779 --> 00:06:04,211
(GASPS)
116
00:06:11,546 --> 00:06:13,811
ARNOLD: Go on, Abner.
Go on downstairs.
117
00:06:13,846 --> 00:06:17,109
(GASPING)
ARNOLD: It seems like
he'd be good at this.
118
00:06:17,145 --> 00:06:20,210
I don't know.
Abner might be
a good truffle hound
119
00:06:20,245 --> 00:06:22,043
but he's
a lousy detective.
120
00:06:22,078 --> 00:06:23,443
I'll say.
121
00:06:26,745 --> 00:06:28,376
Hey, wait a minute.
122
00:06:28,411 --> 00:06:29,710
Something's wrong here.
123
00:06:29,745 --> 00:06:31,908
Something's missing.
124
00:06:32,877 --> 00:06:34,443
I know.
125
00:06:35,977 --> 00:06:38,742
(BEEPING)
(MUSIC PLAYING)
126
00:06:38,777 --> 00:06:40,241
That's better.
127
00:06:40,276 --> 00:06:42,675
Let's get down
to the evidence.
128
00:06:42,711 --> 00:06:45,775
Exhibit 1,
the drinking glass from
Jennifer's cafeteria tray.
129
00:06:45,811 --> 00:06:47,542
Check.
Exhibit 2,
130
00:06:47,577 --> 00:06:49,907
Dodie's retainer.
Check.
131
00:06:49,943 --> 00:06:53,007
Exhibit 3,
Ruth McDougal's hair ribbon.
132
00:06:53,043 --> 00:06:54,641
(GROWLING)
133
00:06:56,043 --> 00:06:57,407
Fingerprints.
134
00:06:58,676 --> 00:06:59,941
Yup.
135
00:06:59,976 --> 00:07:01,641
They're human.
136
00:07:03,775 --> 00:07:05,106
Hmm.
137
00:07:05,142 --> 00:07:06,574
Negative.
138
00:07:13,908 --> 00:07:15,773
Hmm...
139
00:07:16,308 --> 00:07:17,640
Negative.
140
00:07:21,007 --> 00:07:23,172
GERALD: All right,
let's have Ruth's ribbon.
141
00:07:26,774 --> 00:07:28,939
Is it Ruth's hair?
Is it? Huh?
142
00:07:29,774 --> 00:07:31,539
Mmm-mmm.
143
00:07:38,673 --> 00:07:40,671
So, Gerald, when these
results come out,
144
00:07:40,707 --> 00:07:42,638
will we finally know
who wrote the poems?
145
00:07:42,673 --> 00:07:45,338
No. I was just
making hot chocolate.
146
00:07:47,306 --> 00:07:49,204
Okay,
based on our research,
147
00:07:49,239 --> 00:07:51,804
we can safely deduce
that our suspect is female,
148
00:07:51,839 --> 00:07:53,571
lives in the Tri-City area
149
00:07:53,606 --> 00:07:57,937
and is somewhere between
the ages of 8 and 87.
150
00:07:57,972 --> 00:08:00,570
Ooh, we're doing good.
151
00:08:00,605 --> 00:08:02,937
Okay, let's narrow
the field a little.
152
00:08:02,972 --> 00:08:06,570
This yearbook has
the autograph of
every kid at P.S. 118.
153
00:08:06,605 --> 00:08:09,269
We're going to compare
handwriting on each
suspect on the list.
154
00:08:09,904 --> 00:08:11,769
(SOFTLY)
Oh, no.
155
00:08:11,805 --> 00:08:13,669
Let's start with
Ruth McDougal.
156
00:08:13,705 --> 00:08:16,102
Arnold, face it, man.
157
00:08:16,138 --> 00:08:17,502
It's not Ruth.
158
00:08:17,538 --> 00:08:19,068
It never was Ruth.
159
00:08:19,103 --> 00:08:20,669
It's never
going to be Ruth.
160
00:08:20,705 --> 00:08:22,402
Okay?
Or just maybe,
161
00:08:22,438 --> 00:08:24,536
she purposely changed
her handwriting because
162
00:08:24,571 --> 00:08:27,168
she was too shy
to let me know
how much she really cares.
163
00:08:27,204 --> 00:08:28,768
GERALD:
All right, let's go.
164
00:08:28,804 --> 00:08:30,768
Abigail V. Armstead...
165
00:08:30,804 --> 00:08:32,234
Nope. Definitely not.
166
00:08:32,269 --> 00:08:34,068
Jennifer Barnes...
167
00:08:37,069 --> 00:08:38,900
Amy Oblemeyer...
168
00:08:38,936 --> 00:08:41,100
Hey, Arnold. I give up.
169
00:08:41,136 --> 00:08:44,301
The next name
on this list is
Helga Pataki.
170
00:08:44,936 --> 00:08:47,867
(BOTH LAUGH)
171
00:08:47,902 --> 00:08:49,900
(GROWLS)
You hear something?
172
00:08:51,769 --> 00:08:53,200
ARNOLD: Must be coyotes.
173
00:08:53,235 --> 00:08:56,066
Let's face it, Arnold.
We're stumped.
174
00:08:56,101 --> 00:08:58,266
We aren't any closer
to figuring this out
175
00:08:58,302 --> 00:08:59,933
and we've been
working all night.
176
00:08:59,968 --> 00:09:01,533
(YAWNS)
177
00:09:02,168 --> 00:09:03,633
Let's take a break.
178
00:09:03,668 --> 00:09:05,966
(SOFTLY) Yes, take a break!
179
00:09:06,001 --> 00:09:08,399
Let's go down to Slausen's
and get an ice cream cone.
180
00:09:08,435 --> 00:09:11,132
Yeah. I could go
for some ice cream.
181
00:09:11,167 --> 00:09:12,765
(SOFTLY)
Yes! Ice cream.
182
00:09:12,801 --> 00:09:14,732
Good plan.
ARNOLD: But, then again...
183
00:09:14,767 --> 00:09:16,465
Oh, come on, Arnold.
184
00:09:16,500 --> 00:09:18,365
Well...
(SOFTLY)
Go, go.
185
00:09:18,400 --> 00:09:19,498
What was that?
186
00:09:19,534 --> 00:09:21,398
I must stop talking
to myself.
187
00:09:21,434 --> 00:09:23,665
Are you sure
you don't hear something?
188
00:09:23,701 --> 00:09:25,699
Look,
we're both tired.
189
00:09:25,734 --> 00:09:28,064
I'm just going to go
straight to bed.
190
00:09:28,099 --> 00:09:30,164
Okay,
see you tomorrow, Arnold.
191
00:09:30,866 --> 00:09:31,897
See you.
192
00:09:34,200 --> 00:09:36,897
Grubworm,
this is Mighty Falcon.
193
00:09:36,933 --> 00:09:38,397
Mighty Falcon!
194
00:09:39,899 --> 00:09:41,896
Phoebe, it's me Helga.
195
00:09:41,932 --> 00:09:43,664
Listen, call my mom
196
00:09:43,700 --> 00:09:46,030
and tell her
I'm sleeping over with you.
197
00:09:46,598 --> 00:09:47,730
Just do it.
198
00:09:51,498 --> 00:09:53,330
Good night, sweet prince.
199
00:09:59,365 --> 00:10:01,262
(BEEPING)
200
00:10:01,298 --> 00:10:02,829
(YAWNING)
201
00:10:04,464 --> 00:10:06,296
(MOANING)
202
00:10:15,464 --> 00:10:17,429
Morning, short man.
203
00:10:17,464 --> 00:10:21,261
Ever find out who
your secret admirer is?
204
00:10:21,297 --> 00:10:25,361
Nah, whoever it is,
I wish they'd go
jump up a rope.
205
00:10:25,396 --> 00:10:28,661
Why I remember
when I was your age...
206
00:10:28,697 --> 00:10:32,160
I don't actually remember.
207
00:10:32,196 --> 00:10:35,428
But still, you're pretty
darn lucky to have someone
208
00:10:35,463 --> 00:10:37,960
who cares
about you so much.
209
00:10:37,995 --> 00:10:40,493
You know, it is kinda cool.
210
00:10:40,529 --> 00:10:42,560
Obsessive, but cool.
211
00:10:42,595 --> 00:10:44,092
See you later,
Grandpa.
212
00:10:44,128 --> 00:10:47,193
Book's gone straight
to the kid's head.
213
00:10:47,228 --> 00:10:48,726
(BELL RINGS)
214
00:10:49,795 --> 00:10:52,459
"The little twerp
who sets my soul aflame.
215
00:10:52,494 --> 00:10:54,826
"Put them all together,
they spell Arnold"
216
00:10:54,861 --> 00:10:57,059
(ALL LAUGHING)
217
00:10:57,094 --> 00:10:58,392
GERALD:
That's unbelievable.
218
00:10:59,561 --> 00:11:01,659
Hey, Helga,
what's wrong with you?
219
00:11:01,695 --> 00:11:03,392
You sleep in
a closet or something?
220
00:11:03,428 --> 00:11:04,692
(CHUCKLING)
221
00:11:05,927 --> 00:11:08,225
(ALL LAUGHING)
222
00:11:08,260 --> 00:11:09,825
GERALD: Oh, man, Arnold,
223
00:11:09,860 --> 00:11:12,158
that is
the corniest poem yet.
224
00:11:12,193 --> 00:11:14,291
GIRL: Whoever wrote 'em
is pathetic.
225
00:11:14,327 --> 00:11:16,625
Read another one.
Okay.
226
00:11:16,660 --> 00:11:18,090
This is the last page.
227
00:11:18,126 --> 00:11:19,291
(GASPS)
Here goes.
228
00:11:19,327 --> 00:11:22,024
H is for the head
I'd like to punt.
229
00:11:22,059 --> 00:11:24,691
E is for every time
I see the little runt.
230
00:11:24,726 --> 00:11:27,390
L is--
Hey, what
did you do that for?
231
00:11:29,926 --> 00:11:32,691
First spit-ball of the day,
football head. Yes.
232
00:11:34,058 --> 00:11:35,889
What is it with her?
233
00:11:42,925 --> 00:11:47,356
Please, really much,
Help me! (SCREAMS)
234
00:11:52,924 --> 00:11:56,022
GERALD: Nothing like
a field trip, huh, Arnold?
Huh? What?
235
00:11:56,057 --> 00:11:58,088
Oh, are we
at the aquarium yet?
236
00:11:58,124 --> 00:11:59,287
GERALD: Not yet.
237
00:12:00,790 --> 00:12:02,488
But, we better
get there soon.
238
00:12:02,524 --> 00:12:04,488
Everyone is getting
kinda restless.
239
00:12:04,524 --> 00:12:05,888
I'll say.
240
00:12:05,923 --> 00:12:07,488
(LAUGHING)
241
00:12:09,289 --> 00:12:11,521
Look, I'm a whale.
242
00:12:13,156 --> 00:12:15,420
(LAUGHING)
243
00:12:19,489 --> 00:12:22,186
What do you mean
you've never been
to the aquarium?
244
00:12:22,222 --> 00:12:24,987
Last time we had
a field trip there,
we were in the first grade,
245
00:12:25,022 --> 00:12:26,586
and I had the chicken pox.
246
00:12:26,622 --> 00:12:28,520
Oh, it was great, man.
247
00:12:28,555 --> 00:12:30,386
They had this
tide pool thing,
248
00:12:30,421 --> 00:12:33,319
full of those fat rays,
you can touch
with your fingers.
249
00:12:33,354 --> 00:12:35,853
It was really
slimy and disgusting.
250
00:12:35,889 --> 00:12:37,319
I went back nine times.
251
00:12:37,354 --> 00:12:39,452
And they've got
a penguin named Stuart
252
00:12:39,488 --> 00:12:40,819
who eats his own barf.
253
00:12:40,854 --> 00:12:42,386
And Slimo the sea snail,
254
00:12:42,421 --> 00:12:45,919
who can draw a replica
of the Mona Lisa with
his mucus trail.
255
00:12:45,954 --> 00:12:47,852
Of course,
I can do that too.
256
00:12:49,754 --> 00:12:51,519
See?
Dweeb!
257
00:12:51,554 --> 00:12:53,318
And they've got Lock Jaw.
258
00:12:53,353 --> 00:12:56,018
ALL: Yeah, Lock Jaw!
259
00:12:56,053 --> 00:12:57,284
Lock Jaw?
260
00:12:57,320 --> 00:12:58,651
Who's Lock Jaw?
261
00:13:01,520 --> 00:13:03,718
(CHATTERING IN BUS)
262
00:13:07,520 --> 00:13:10,484
(SHRIEKING WITH EXCITEMENT)
263
00:13:14,252 --> 00:13:15,817
Wow!
264
00:13:28,318 --> 00:13:30,049
GUIDE:
Welcome to the city aquarium.
265
00:13:30,084 --> 00:13:32,415
We have a few
simple rules to follow.
266
00:13:32,450 --> 00:13:34,682
No feeding the fish.
No tapping on the glass.
267
00:13:34,718 --> 00:13:38,181
No diving in the shark tank.
No video cameras.
No photography.
268
00:13:38,217 --> 00:13:40,415
No sushi chefs.
269
00:13:40,751 --> 00:13:42,181
(SIGHS)
270
00:13:43,717 --> 00:13:46,648
So, who's Lock Jaw?
Are you kidding me?
271
00:13:46,683 --> 00:13:49,681
He's only the scariest
sea monster in the ocean.
272
00:13:49,717 --> 00:13:51,381
If there was a battle
273
00:13:51,416 --> 00:13:54,314
between him
and a giant squid,
Lock Jaw would win.
274
00:13:54,349 --> 00:13:57,080
I heard he could ram
a boat with his head
and sink it.
275
00:13:57,116 --> 00:13:59,981
I heard he could
swallow a kid whole.
276
00:14:00,016 --> 00:14:02,714
And spit out the bones.
Lock Jaw, huh?
277
00:14:02,749 --> 00:14:04,446
Cool.
278
00:14:04,482 --> 00:14:06,714
No guns, no knives,
no plastic explosives
279
00:14:06,749 --> 00:14:09,446
and most of all,
no skateboards.
280
00:14:17,948 --> 00:14:20,213
Hey,
is that Lock Jaw?
281
00:14:20,248 --> 00:14:21,679
Yeah, right.
282
00:14:21,715 --> 00:14:23,013
(GROWL)
283
00:14:24,581 --> 00:14:26,112
Which one's Lock Jaw?
284
00:14:26,147 --> 00:14:27,345
Are you kidding?
285
00:14:27,381 --> 00:14:30,513
Lock Jaw could suck
these guys up like vermicelli.
286
00:14:30,548 --> 00:14:32,812
Hey, Arnold,
we're going
to see Lock Jaw.
287
00:14:32,847 --> 00:14:34,045
Come on.
288
00:14:35,647 --> 00:14:37,712
(CHATTERING)
289
00:14:39,747 --> 00:14:42,512
ALL: Oh!
290
00:14:51,513 --> 00:14:55,443
MAN (ON SPEAKER):
And now, presenting
the terror of the deep,
291
00:14:55,479 --> 00:15:00,677
the ancient reptile
whose ancestors date back
over 150 million years,
292
00:15:00,713 --> 00:15:04,110
the mighty Lock Jaw.
293
00:15:05,012 --> 00:15:07,243
(ALL CHEERING)
294
00:15:09,112 --> 00:15:10,776
That's Lock Jaw?
295
00:15:10,812 --> 00:15:12,076
Big deal.
296
00:15:12,112 --> 00:15:14,342
He seemed a lot bigger
when we were in first grade.
297
00:15:14,378 --> 00:15:17,510
He's not so scary.
What a rip!
298
00:15:17,545 --> 00:15:20,175
(GRUMBLING)
299
00:15:20,211 --> 00:15:22,075
Yes! I got him. Yes!
300
00:15:22,111 --> 00:15:24,009
STINKY:
Sad turtle weenie. Bye.
301
00:15:24,044 --> 00:15:28,942
(ALL LAUGHING)
302
00:15:40,110 --> 00:15:41,440
Lock Jaw?
303
00:15:45,242 --> 00:15:47,073
Hey, Lock Jaw?
304
00:15:49,976 --> 00:15:51,140
Hey, man.
305
00:15:59,441 --> 00:16:01,607
ALL: Bye, Arnold.
306
00:16:01,642 --> 00:16:04,006
STINKY:
Sorry that turtle bites.
307
00:16:04,041 --> 00:16:05,806
I got him. Yes!
308
00:16:09,808 --> 00:16:12,306
Excuse me, sir,
we're selling
chocolate turtles
309
00:16:12,341 --> 00:16:15,271
to raise money
for our troop trip
to Scotland.
310
00:16:17,074 --> 00:16:18,539
Hmm, no thanks.
311
00:16:18,574 --> 00:16:21,271
(MEOWING AND BARKING)
312
00:16:21,307 --> 00:16:23,872
Hi, Grandpa.
Hey there, short man.
313
00:16:23,907 --> 00:16:26,105
How do you like
my new turtleneck?
314
00:16:26,140 --> 00:16:28,372
It's nice, Grandpa.
315
00:16:28,406 --> 00:16:31,838
Now if I can only find
my tortoise shell glasses.
316
00:16:31,874 --> 00:16:34,005
Then I'd really
be looking snazzy.
317
00:16:44,973 --> 00:16:47,137
(BLUES MUSIC PLAYING)
318
00:17:05,671 --> 00:17:07,135
(SIGHS)
319
00:17:07,571 --> 00:17:08,836
(KNOCKING AT DOOR)
320
00:17:08,871 --> 00:17:11,469
Who is it?
It's me, mon Capitan.
321
00:17:11,505 --> 00:17:13,503
I brought you a sandwich.
322
00:17:13,538 --> 00:17:15,302
I'm really
not hungry, Grandma.
323
00:17:15,337 --> 00:17:17,135
What's the matter?
324
00:17:17,170 --> 00:17:19,135
I haven't seen you
this down since
325
00:17:19,170 --> 00:17:22,635
von Kluck swept through
Belgium back in August '14.
326
00:17:22,670 --> 00:17:24,401
I don't know, Grandma.
327
00:17:24,436 --> 00:17:27,301
Let me ask you
something, Grandma.
328
00:17:27,336 --> 00:17:29,502
How would you feel
if you were living
in the ocean
329
00:17:29,537 --> 00:17:31,433
and some scientist
put you in a tank?
330
00:17:31,469 --> 00:17:32,834
What? No, sir.
331
00:17:32,870 --> 00:17:34,234
They'll never catch me.
332
00:17:34,268 --> 00:17:35,834
Never.
Calm down, Grandma.
333
00:17:35,870 --> 00:17:37,233
It's a hypothetical question.
334
00:17:37,268 --> 00:17:39,601
Why didn't you say so?
335
00:17:39,636 --> 00:17:41,833
See, we went
to the aquarium today...
336
00:17:41,869 --> 00:17:44,534
Oh, the big house for fish.
337
00:17:44,569 --> 00:17:46,367
And there's this
really old turtle there.
338
00:17:46,402 --> 00:17:48,200
Old, eh?
Yeah.
339
00:17:48,235 --> 00:17:50,265
And his shell's all
covered with graffiti
340
00:17:50,301 --> 00:17:53,165
and his water's dirty.
Kids throw stuff at him.
341
00:17:53,201 --> 00:17:55,500
And he's old?
Yeah.
342
00:17:55,535 --> 00:17:56,966
And sad and dirty.
343
00:17:57,001 --> 00:17:58,399
And his tank's too small.
344
00:17:58,434 --> 00:18:01,099
And he's old.
Yeah--
345
00:18:01,134 --> 00:18:04,132
Why, this is an outrage.
...and then--
346
00:18:04,167 --> 00:18:08,331
Treating a wise
old creature like he's some
sort of common criminal.
347
00:18:08,367 --> 00:18:09,899
I think they just--
Come on.
348
00:18:09,934 --> 00:18:11,499
There's not a moment to lose.
349
00:18:11,534 --> 00:18:13,632
But--
I said, come on.
350
00:18:13,667 --> 00:18:15,931
We've got a mission
to complete.
351
00:18:15,967 --> 00:18:18,398
I know
it's in here somewhere.
352
00:18:18,433 --> 00:18:20,331
(MEOW)
Grandma,
353
00:18:20,366 --> 00:18:22,164
what are you doing?
354
00:18:22,200 --> 00:18:23,631
We're taking action.
355
00:18:23,666 --> 00:18:27,330
Righting a wrong.
Grasping at straws.
356
00:18:27,600 --> 00:18:28,798
Aha!
357
00:18:29,332 --> 00:18:30,730
Perfect.
358
00:18:31,932 --> 00:18:34,330
(CAR REVIVING)
359
00:18:37,699 --> 00:18:40,630
From now on,
call me Chief.
360
00:18:40,665 --> 00:18:42,563
And you're Agent 9.
361
00:18:43,832 --> 00:18:45,363
Take this, Number 9.
362
00:18:45,398 --> 00:18:46,929
It's our gear.
363
00:18:50,465 --> 00:18:52,796
Grandma, do you
have a driver's license?
364
00:18:52,831 --> 00:18:56,029
(TIRES SCREECHING)
(GRANDMA LAUGHING MANIACALLY)
365
00:19:00,197 --> 00:19:01,629
(TIRES SCREECH)
366
00:19:02,631 --> 00:19:04,228
Grandma,
we're trespassing.
367
00:19:04,263 --> 00:19:05,496
This is public property.
368
00:19:05,531 --> 00:19:07,862
Well, we're the public,
aren't we?
369
00:19:15,563 --> 00:19:17,027
(CLANGING)
370
00:19:19,129 --> 00:19:20,994
(GRUNTING)
371
00:19:32,828 --> 00:19:35,393
Good, the sentry's
not at his post.
372
00:19:35,428 --> 00:19:37,093
Now's our chance.
Come on.
373
00:19:39,661 --> 00:19:41,093
You lead, Number 9.
374
00:19:41,128 --> 00:19:42,993
You know where
the prisoner's cell is.
375
00:19:43,028 --> 00:19:46,726
GUARD: (CHUCKLING)
Here, have a cookie.
376
00:19:46,761 --> 00:19:48,325
Oh,
you tossed your cookies.
377
00:19:48,361 --> 00:19:50,825
(CHUCKLING)
Here, have a cookie.
378
00:19:50,861 --> 00:19:53,925
(CHUCKLING)
Oh, you tossed
your cookies again.
379
00:19:53,961 --> 00:19:55,959
(CHUCKLING)
380
00:20:06,726 --> 00:20:09,224
GRANDMA:
Oh, my goodness!
381
00:20:09,259 --> 00:20:12,124
This is worse
than I thought.
382
00:20:12,159 --> 00:20:13,891
See. I told you.
383
00:20:13,926 --> 00:20:16,858
I know one thing
that'll cheer him up.
384
00:20:25,025 --> 00:20:26,923
Hey, I think
he's starting to trust us.
385
00:20:26,959 --> 00:20:28,857
Good. Then we can
get him out of here.
386
00:20:28,892 --> 00:20:31,222
But, Grandma,
isn't that against the law?
387
00:20:31,257 --> 00:20:34,289
Against the law of
the King, perhaps,
388
00:20:34,324 --> 00:20:36,856
but against the law
of common decency,
389
00:20:36,891 --> 00:20:39,255
I think not.
390
00:20:39,291 --> 00:20:42,356
Don't worry, buddy.
We're busting you
out of this joint.
391
00:20:42,391 --> 00:20:45,189
Now you're getting
the hang of it, number 9.
392
00:20:45,224 --> 00:20:47,421
(BOTH GRUNT)
Be careful.
393
00:20:47,457 --> 00:20:48,889
Don't get too close
to his mouth.
394
00:20:48,924 --> 00:20:50,755
(SHRIEKS)
Grandma?
395
00:20:50,791 --> 00:20:53,121
There darn sleeves
are too long.
396
00:20:54,090 --> 00:20:56,788
(BOTH GRUNT)
397
00:20:56,823 --> 00:21:00,154
MAN: (ON SPEAKER)
Lock Jaw is a rare and
endangered Galapagos tortoise.
398
00:21:00,190 --> 00:21:03,220
He weighs
well over 400 pounds.
399
00:21:03,255 --> 00:21:05,488
Wait here, Grandma.
I got an idea.
400
00:21:15,122 --> 00:21:18,720
(GUARD LAUGHING)
Hey,
let's go, big shark.
401
00:21:18,755 --> 00:21:20,286
Come on, jaws.
402
00:21:20,321 --> 00:21:22,520
Bite me.
(LAUGHING)
403
00:21:28,421 --> 00:21:29,752
Punch it, Grandma.
404
00:21:42,787 --> 00:21:44,519
Do you think he knows
the way to the ocean?
405
00:21:44,554 --> 00:21:46,751
Well, sure,
It's instinct.
406
00:21:47,687 --> 00:21:49,185
(BOTH GRUNTING)
407
00:21:56,019 --> 00:21:59,117
Run! Be free!
408
00:21:59,152 --> 00:22:03,250
Go, live and love again.
409
00:22:21,685 --> 00:22:22,916
Hey, Grandma.
410
00:22:22,952 --> 00:22:25,749
Yes, Number 9.
You're the best.
411
00:22:25,785 --> 00:22:27,882
So are you, Arnold.
412
00:22:29,718 --> 00:22:31,115
GRANDMA: Now, come on.
413
00:22:31,150 --> 00:22:35,215
All this exercise
gives me a hankering
for some turtle soup.
27844
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