Original subtitles

MAN: Here we go. HELGA: Arnold.

(YOWLING) (BARKING)

Hey, Arnold!

(OPENING THEME MUSIC PLAYING)

(CRASHING)

(SCREAMS)

Hey, Arnold!

Arnold.

Arnold!

(SIREN WAILING) Arnold.

Arnold.

Move it, football head!

ALL: Hey, Arnold!

(GROWLS)

HELGA: Cut! Cut!

Hey, Arnold!

Huh?

Get off the stage!

(ALL LAUGHING) (GRUNTS)

This isn't your scene!

Oh, yeah.

Sorry.

Amateur.

Okay, let's pick it up from the dance of the vegetables.

Five, six, seven, eight.

(BELL RINGING)

(CHATTERING)

Not so fast.

Come on, Helga. We know our lines.

Know your lines?

Of course, you know your lines.

But I don't want to just hear your lines.

I want to hear what's in your souls!

Do vegetables have souls?

That audience expects food with feelings.

And that's what we're gonna give 'em.

Iggy, what's your motivation?

I don't know. I'm a utensil.

Stinky, what's in your character's gut?

I thought so. You guys all bite.

Okay, here's the deal.

I want every kid here a half an hour early

so we can do another run-through.

If anybody is late,

they're gonna have to answer to old Betsy.

I'm Monkeyman!

(DOG BARKING)

(CATS MEOWING)

Fruits. We had to be fruits.

Why couldn't we have been in the bread group?

Or beverages?

I could have been a cream soda.

ARNOLD: Yeah, well, we're fruits.

And let's hurry, or we'll miss the bus.

Slow down!

This strawberry really chafes.

(ENGINE STARTS)

Man, this is so humiliating.

This is nothing.

In a few hours, the entire student body

will be laughing at us.

(BELL DINGING)

I can't believe we have to do this.

For Helga.

I know, it's not fair.

But there's nothing we can do about it.

Nothing.

Unless...

ARNOLD: Unless what?

Let's just say,

we forgot to pull that cord,

and we didn't get off at this stop?

Or the next stop?

Or the next!

Hey. By the time we get back home,

the play would be over.

No. We couldn't do that. It would ruin the play.

Well, was it right for Helga to make fun of you during rehearsal?

Well... Oh, Gerald, we gotta stop. We can't ruin the play.

(ENGINE REVVING)

Well, maybe one more stop would be okay.

(CHATTERING)

(TICKING)

HELGA: People, people!

Now, remember, a play has a life of its own.

It's got to breathe.

Every food group must build upon the group that came before it.

First, the legumes.

"Legumes"? I thought we were beans.

You are, genius!

Then the meats. Lusty and powerful.

Then the fruits, they're...

Hey! Where are the fruits?

They're not here, Helga. They never showed up.

What?

(YELLING) Arnold!

Did you hear something just now?

Nope.

Hey, how far does this bus go anyway?

What difference does it make?

When it gets to the end of the line,

we'll just ride it back again.

The journey is the destination, man.

What's that mean?

I'm not sure.

I heard it in a hippie movie.

(TIRES SCREECHING)

Hey, what's going on?

GERALD: Oh, man. This is the end of the line.

You and your hippie movies.

Does this mean...

Yeah. We're stuck.

Downtown.

As fruits.

Now, what?

I know. We'll call my mom and dad.

They'll come pick us up.

Good idea.

Great. Just great!

Well, at least let's get rid of these costumes.

Uh, I can't.

Why not?

I didn't wear anything underneath.

You didn't wear anything underneath?

Well, polyester makes me sweat.

Okay, so you have to stay a strawberry.

Arnold, this is serious.

We're stuck downtown, I'm a strawberry

and we don't have any money!

(TIRES SCREECHING)

MAN: Here, you go.

What's this?

MAN: You know what it is. Just take it.

Wow. People downtown sure are friendly.

Let's go.

He's two minutes late.

You were right, Arnold.

Those shoes really pull your look together.

You hungry?

Hey, thanks, man.

Ain't no problem, fella.

Does souvlaki cover the four food groups?

Who cares?

(BOTH CHUCKLING)

(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)

♪ I'm a steak A juicy steak

♪ Full of fat and protein

♪ I'm a ham You know I am

♪ And if you keep kosher

♪ I'm not in your routine ♪

(AUDIENCE CLAPPING)

HELGA: Psst.

Stretch. Stretch!

(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)

(AUDIENCE EXCLAIMING)

I can't believe this is happening.

Do you know how hard I prepared for my role?

I ate nothing but dairy products for two weeks!

If I ever get my hands on that Arnold, I'll...

I'll...

Soothe his fevered brow,

oh, my poor lost sweetheart,

how I love you.

(AUDIENCE EXCLAIMING)

And yet I hate you.

And yet I love you.

And yet I hate you!

And yet I love you.

(BREATHING HEAVILY)

(SIREN WAILING)

(CROWD CLAPPING)

(CHEERING)

Hey, waiter. Sodas for everyone.

All right!

Rack 'em again, fat man.

What do you mean you gave it to the wrong banana?

Um...

What does this other banana look like?

You know, kind of small, kind of yellow,

banana shoes.

Just like those.

MAN: Hey!

Hey, you two!

(EXCLAIMS)

MAN: Who enters the realm of the great Zamboni?

I'm Arnold. This is Gerald.

Wait, wait!

You're... You're Arnold!

And Gerald.

Good guess.

Ha! Zamboni Jones does not guess.

He knows.

You have come to me with a problem.

Yeah. We came downtown and at first, everything was great.

But now it's all gone wrong.

There is a disturbance in your karmic energy field.

(HUMMING)

Is there someone you have harmed in the past?

Hmm? Someone you have wronged.

Hmm...

My play!

My play!

My beautiful play!

Nope. Can't think of a soul.

Gerald, you've got to be kidding.

Think of Helga and her play,

and all the kids back at school that we're letting down.

What's your point?

ARNOLD: Come on. We've got a karmic energy field to fix.

Bye, Mr. Jones. Thanks.

Hey! Where is my $3.50?

I should have foreseen this.

(WHISTLES)

(TIRES SCREECH)

(CATS MEOWING)

(TIRES SCREECH)

(OBJECTS CLATTERING)

Wow.

People downtown sure are friendly.

(CRYING) I'm ruined. Ruined!

My future as a playwright is over.

(SNIFFLES)

(AUDIENCE BOOING)

(CLEARS THROAT)

Ladies and gentlemen.

There will be a small change in the fourth act.

We won't be having it.

It seems that some of our food groups

are not as dedicated as the rest of us.

But the show must go on.

♪ It's fruits It's fruits

♪ That really makes us toots

♪ It's fruits

♪ It's fruits

♪ That give us all a hoot

♪ It's not like other food groups aren't important

♪ In fact you need us all

♪ To make your fingernails And eyes and organs

♪ It's fruits It's fruits

♪ You've got To have your fruits

♪ That's what the folks With scurvy say

♪ 'Cause it's fruits Us fruits

♪ That really makes us sing

Wait till I get my hands on you, Arnold, you beautiful creature.

♪ This is the end Of our play ♪

(EXCLAIMS)

(HELGA SIGHS)

(GROWLING)

GERALD: Hey, Arnold!

(ROARS)

(GROWLS)

(SNARLS)

Hey, Arnold!

Arnold!

(CARS HONKING)

What are you looking at?

Hello! Is anybody in there, man?

Come on, we gotta cross now

or else we're gonna be late for school.

ARNOLD: Okay, I'm right behind you.

Hey, Arnold. Hey, Gerald.

Want to see my albino worm collection?

I call this one "Pinky."

Uh, no thanks, Billy.

Okay. But you don't know what you're missing.

Look, you guys. I got a new scab!

If you squint real hard, it's look like Texas.

That's nice, Sheena.

The crusty part is the Alamo.

GERALD: That's disgusting!

(BREATHING HEAVILY)

Uh... Nougats?

None for me.

I had a big breakfast.

Well, folks, I think we've reached

the end of our dork parade.

Hey, look, here comes Eugene.

(HONKING)

GERALD: I stand corrected.

Am I seeing things?

No, that's Eugene all right.

And he's riding a really cool bike.

(TIRES SCREECHING)

(KIDS CHATTERING EXCITEDLY)

What'd you do, rob a bike store?

(ALL LAUGHING)

No, it's Flag Day and my family exchanges gifts.

All my life I've wanted a bike like this.

Look at it! Look at it, you guys.

Shiny red frame with little specs of metallic stuff in the paint,

lots of gears so I don't have to pump hard

when I'm going up a hill.

Big thick tires so I can run over glass.

It's the one thing I've wanted more than anything else.

More than incredible wealth.

More than world peace!

It's my dream bike, you guys.

My dream bike. And I finally got it.

There's just one thing it needs to make it perfect.

ALL: Ooh!

(CLICKING)

(HONKING)

I guess every dork has his day.

(BELL RINGING)

Yeah.

I'll be there in a second, Gerald.

(HORN HONKING)

(CRASHES)

(WHIMPERING)

My bike.

I'm really sorry, Eugene.

I don't know what to say.

My bike!

I think it's history, Eugene.

My bike!

It was an accident, Eugene.

I'm really, really sorry.

(SCREAMING)

(CAR ALARMS BLARING)

No, no, no! Please!

No! Not my bike.

(CRYING HYSTERICALLY) No! No, please!

Not my bike.

Man, I feel terrible about this, Gerald.

Look, Arnold. It wasn't your fault.

Stuff like this always happens to the geeky kids.

And of all the kids in the school,

Eugene's got to be the geekiest.

You could say that again.

Hey, where's Pinky? Pinky?

Anybody seen my Pinky?

(SQUELCHING)

Ew.

(BELL RINGING)

(CRASHES)

(THUNDER RUMBLING)

(MOTOR WHIRRING)

EUGENE: Wow, Arnold. It's beautiful.

ARNOLD: Thanks.

It is kind of nice, isn't it?

"Nice"? Heck, it's better than ever.

(HONKING)

You didn't have to do this, Arnold.

Yeah, but I wanted to.

Wow, Arnold, you're a pal.

I'm gonna take it for a ride right now.

Hey, wait! Don't forget this.

Have a good ride, Eugene.

Oh, hey, Abner, what you got there?

Brake cable?

The brake cable!

Eugene!

Whee!

I'm a bird! I'm a plane!

I'm...

...about to be hurt very badly.

(CRASHES)

(METAL CLATTERING)

(KNOCK ON DOOR)

Come in.

Hey, Eugene.

Oh. Hi, Arnold. Thanks for coming.

Listen, Eugene. I'm really sorry.

What do you mean, Arnold?

You didn't do anything.

It's just something that happened, that's all.

Well, I brought you some candy to make it up to you.

Aww, that's nice of you, Arnold,

but really, you didn't have to.

Here. Let me help you with that.

(SCREAMING)

Oh, no! I'm sorry.

Here. Let me take that.

(SCREAMING)

Man, I'm sorry. (EUGENE EXCLAIMING IN AGONY)

I'll just... No! No.

Arnold, please, you don't have to.

Please just sit down there. Right over there.

Good.

Look, Eugene.

Somehow, I'm gonna make it all up to you.

I don't know how yet, but I'm gonna do it.

You'll see.

(SIGHS SOFTLY)

What a guy.

WOMAN ON PA: Dr. Kravitz, you have a visitor in the main...

Here it is, 336.

Tonsillectomy. Let's do it.

(MOTOR WHIRRING)

BOY: He's a dork.

HELGA: He's a real dork.

GERALD: Yeah, stuff like this always happens to the geeky kids.

(SQUEAKING)

(CLOTH TEARING)

GERALD: Arnold, come quick!

Harold just ripped his pants wide open.

(CRASHES)

Hey, Arnold. Shake hands with Mr. Crab.

(EUGENE SCREAMING)

(MUFFLED YELLING)

(ALL LAUGHING)

Every dork deserves his day.

And I'm gonna give that dork his day.

(SOFTLY) Oh, hi, there, Arnold.

Hey, Eugene. What happened to your voice?

I don't know. There was some kind of mix-up.

They took my tonsils out by mistake.

That's terrible.

No, not really.

You don't need 'em, anyway.

I kind of wish they would have left my spleen, though.

Listen, Eugene. I just want you to know I'm sorry for everything.

The teeter-totter, the crab, the paste...

Huh?

I don't know what you're talking about.

But I figured out a way to pay you back.

I'm gonna take you out for one full day

where nothing bad happens at all.

One entire day of just you and me

having nonstop full-on action-packed fun.

Gee, Arnold. That sounds neat.

Great.

I'll be here to pick you up

the first thing tomorrow morning.

And don't forget to wear your fun clothes.

That Arnold.

He just keeps giving and giving.

(GASPS)

(CROWD CHEERING)

(THUMPS)

(CHOKING)

(COUGHING)

(EXCLAIMING IN PAIN)

(SPLASHES)

(VOMITING)

Sorry, Eugene.

I guess we shouldn't have taken that ferry ride.

(VOMITING)

Oh, that's okay.

You couldn't have known I get motion sickness.

Oh, Eugene. I'm really sorry.

All I wanted to do was pay you back for all the trouble I've caused you.

Everything just seems to go wrong.

I guess this wasn't such a good day after all.

Are you kidding me, Arnold?

I ate hot dogs in the park.

I almost caught a home-run ball hit by Spuds McGee.

I watched the sun set on the river...

And I even got to swim in the river.

By accident, sorta.

I had a great time.

You know, nobody has ever done anything like this for me before.

I don't know how I'll ever be able to thank you enough.

This has been one of the best days I've ever had.

(EXCLAIMING IN PAIN)

See you later, Arnold.

Uh, excuse me.

Mr. Driver, sir?

You think you can open...

Hey, Eugene.

Ah, I'll give it to you tomorrow.