Original subtitles

.

[upbeat festive music]

- Excuse me.

I'm looking for the North Pole.

Could you give me directions? [cackles]

- Not now.

I've got a million business things to do

before the end of the year!

And now they're done!

It's Christmas, Rudolph.

- Oh.

I love this time of year!

- Oh, me too.

And I want to make our first Christmas together

the most special.

- Do you want to help me finish decorating the tavern?

- Yes.

This year, I get to put the star on top of the tree

because we got a short one.

- And next year, we'll have an authentic Mexican Christmas.

- OK.

Well, look at the ho-ho-humbugs.

All right, Rudolph,

turn on that nose so these Grinches can

make their way through the fog.

- I just got off the phone with Knoxville Trust.

They canceled their Christmas party on us.

- You can turn the nose off now.

- Where's the trust, Knoxville Trust?

Makes me wonder how secure my $146 is.

- So how bad is this?

- Bad.

We needed the money to fund our health insurance.

Daddy was always so proud that

he took such good care of y'all.

- Well, I already bought 10 pounds of scallops

for their appetizers, and those babies ain't cheap.

- How can you stand to touch scallops?

They're so slimy.

It's like touching...scallops.

- OK, come on, guys. Think.

We got to find somebody to come in here

and throw a party to make up for the one that canceled.

- Um... I know this guy Danny.

- Yeah? - Yeah.

We sit together at the dog park.

He has got the cutest little Yorkie-poo named Tinkerbell.

- Gabby, focus! - Yeah.

- But tell me about Tinkerbell later.

She sounds so cute. - Me too.

Me too, me too, me too, me too, me too, me too.

- Well, Danny, he's got his own company, and he is super rich.

Plus, he owes me.

I saved Tinkerbell from an overly amorous Rottweiler.

I mean, the visual was hilarious.

[laughs]

But the aftermath would have been a disaster.

- Do you think this will work?

- OK. Come on, guys.

We've got to have faith.

Turn that nose back on.

There you go. There you go.

- Yeah, there's, um, there's just one little thing.

When Danny's here, you all have to call me Bobbie.

- Why would we do that?

- Well, I told him I owned the tavern.

I said I was you.

- I know.

["Happy's Place" playing]

- * Sometimes it feels like a big ol' fight *

* To get through the day *

* And sleep on through the night *

* But here you'll find a place *

* That'll surely lift your spirits *

* You belong at Happy's Place *

- You know, with your fair skin,

you can really see the blood rush to your face.

Oh, it's hot. [laughs]

- Well, I can't see this ending well.

I'll be in the kitchen, short Bobbie, tall Bobbie.

- I'm trying hard not to overreact

'cause I don't want to go to jail.

Just tell me why.

- It's really a long story.

- Shorten it. - OK. Um...

I wanted Danny to think I was interesting.

And the only unique things about me are,

I own an original Easy-Bake Oven,

and I can dunk a basketball.

- So why can't we just tell Danny the truth?

- You know, people say they appreciate honesty,

but most of them are lying.

- Yeah.

And what about all the people at the dog park?

I have a reputation to uphold.

If I tell them I'm lying,

they're gonna think I'm a liar!

- Why are you even at the dog park?

You don't own a dog.

- It's not required.

I checked.

- OK, does anybody have a better idea?

OK, well,

it looks like we don't have a choice.

This Christmas, everybody's lying!

- OK.

- I'm sorry.

I can't be a part of this.

Lying is just a hole that you dig that gets deeper.

- OK. Ignore him.

- Yeah.

- You get your friend in here, and you be the best me

you can be. - Yeah.

- All right.

- Can I borrow that sweater?

- No.

What the heck?

- Oh, Bobbie!

I thought you had the day off.

- What the heck?

- Do you like it?

I figured I couldn't be the only one lying.

The office had to also.

Yeah, I got more stuff in my car.

Oh, don't touch anything.

- [laughing]

Yeah.

- Nice mustache.

- Wish I could say the same about yours.

- Oh, I know who you are.

The red hair, the impish sense of humor

that covers the bottomless need for attention.

Bobbie's description was spot on.

Nice to meet you, Gabby.

- Gabby?

- Oh, Danny! - Bobbie!

- Danny? - Gabby!

Yes.

This is Danny, the guy I was telling you about,

even though I don't have to tell you anything,

Gabby, because I'm the boss.

- Well, now, careful, Bobbie.

The key to being a good boss is to project authority

without coming off as a villain.

I say that only to defuse the tension

when I tell you that Gabby defaced your photo.

- Ah!

- I think I improved it.

- Gabby.

Gabby, look at me.

Gabby! - Oh.

- Now, you're not gonna joke your way out of this.

I'm worried about you.

Do you need counseling?

- Every day, I have to do this.

Gabby.

Gabby!

Do you need counseling?

- I think it's painfully obvious that yes,

Gabby definitely needs counseling.

.

- What, uh-- what's going on in there?

- Well, not only Gabby is Bobbie,

but now Bobbie is Gabby too.

[laughs]

- Oh, no.

Dishonesty grows.

- Which is terrible,

so why are you smiling?

- Hey, I smile 'cause

my parents spent a fortune on braces.

- Hey, Danny.

Let me introduce you to the gang.

- Well, hopefully, they're better behaved

than this little firecracker here.

Red hot!

- She's my "project."

And this darling little ornament

is my sister, Isabella,

who, as you know, is from France.

- This is fun.

- Bonjour!

- Bonjour.

Bobbie has told me so much about you.

Knoxville really must feel different than Paris, huh?

Less French people, more french fries.

- Ah! [laughs]

- Eh, Bobbie?

- Oh, I'm sorry.

I thought you said she spoke English.

- I do. - Are you leaving?

- Oh, no.

Not "adieu."

I do!

- Good lord.

- And everyone else is super nice.

They are just their normal, boring selves.

This is--

- I'm Emmett,

the chef.

all: What?

- Yes. I love to cook scallops,

complain, and wear tough-guy bandanas.

- Hey, Emmett.

There's an emergency in the kitchen.

- No, there's not.

- Get!

- OK.

- So since that was Emmett, this is--

- I'm out.

- Out?

That's a fun name.

- OK.

This has been a hoot, but I think it's time

that I show Danny around the tavern

so he can decide to have his Christmas party here.

- Gabby, I was gonna show Danny around.

- This is like when you Americans visit France.

Argue! Argue!

Argue!

- Well, actually, I-I'd love a tour

from the wildcard in red--

sounds dangerous.

- Ah, it won't be dangerous.

But later, tonight after you leave,

that's when it's gonna get dangerous.

Here we go.

Hey, Emmett.

You have a visitor.

- Oh, but I don't think chefs are allowed

visitors in the kitchen based on what Congress said.

- So this is the kitchen, so on with the tour.

- Well, hang on, Gabby. I want to ask Emmett here

about the appetizers for the party.

What do you suggest?

- Pretzels.

They're a classic choice--

clean, simple, non-slimy.

- Yeah, what about those scallops

you mentioned earlier?

- I regret a lot of things I mentioned earlier.

- I bet you do.

Our bacon-wrapped scallops are so good,

it'll make you want to slap your mama.

- Sounds good to me.

Make me a couple to try?

- You mean pick them up

and throw him in a pan after I pick them up?

- Well, I don't think they're gonna do it on their own.

See? I'm funny too.

- [laughs]

- So are you gonna let me taste them or not?

- Mm-hmm.

Yum.

[groans]

Cooking is my passion.

- Well, this is exciting.

- For a lot of reasons.

- We're gonna get to see culinary magic.

- Oh, you sure are.

- Hey!

Out is back.

- Every time I watch him do this,

it still amazes me

what a half a stick of butter--

a half a stick of butter,

some garlic powder,

two tablespoons of lemon juice,

a little salt and pepper, just a pinch of chopped parsley

can do over medium heat.

- Ooh, I can't wait till he gets to the bacon.

- Absolutely incredible.

[cheering]

- OK.

I think you've seen everything, so ta-da!

Trust me, your employees are gonna love it.

- So should we make it official?

- I'll go get the contract.

- Well, here's where we stand. - Uh-huh.

- The layout of the place is perfect,

and the food is delicious.

- Thank you.

On behalf of Emmett.

- All that's left is to check out the vibe.

- The vibe? - Exactly.

And the best way to get a feel for that

is for me to hang out with you guys all night.

- [laughs] OK!

- I guess I was a little premature on my ta-da!

.

- So then I said, I don't need to have a big dog

to show the world how manly I am.

That's why I drive a Cybertruck.

[laughter]

No, but seriously, I drive a Cybertruck.

It's pretty cool.

- Oh, gosh, you are just so fascinating.

You know, I could talk to you all night.

- Right, except we've kept him here longer than we intended.

- Right. - Oui.

He should probably get back to his life.

Ah, our loss.

- Yeah, I probably should.

But I won't

because I'm having too much fun.

I'll have another, please.

Just gonna make some room.

- [laughs]

Would you stop flirting with him?

The longer he stays around here,

the longer I have to be Gabby.

And I don't like it!

- I wasn't flirting.

- Oh, please.

Gosh, you're so exciting.

I could, like, talk to you all night.

[giggles]

[smooching]

- I was trying to charm him

so he would have his party here.

Mama needs her dental!

- And that would have been a lot easier

if you hadn't said I'm from France.

- Yeah.

- Well, Austin is no longer cool.

I told him you were from a foreign country

so you would seem exotic.

- I'm Mexican!

- But you're not from there.

- That guy still here?

- What do you care, Takoda?

You're not the one pretending.

- I'm pretending to be someone who can handle this.

- OK, see? That's another thing.

You've put Takoda in a terrible position.

- OK, you're the one who said we had to lie.

- And it doesn't matter where I'm from.

I am Mexican. OK? - Hello.

- Hi, Danny!

- Everything all right? - Great.

- Fine. - Oui, oui!

- Just did.

[laughter]

I don't know.

It feels like you guys are hiding something from me.

- Oh, wow. No.

Uh-uh. No.

Don't believe everything you read in the stall.

- Yeah, but I'm sensing some friction.

If I may, I'd like to try an exercise

that my company uses to improve boss-employee relations.

OK, Bobbie.

Bobbie. Bobbie?

- Yes.

- I want you to pretend to be the bartender,

and Gabby will pretend to be the boss.

- [laughs]

Studies do show that role-swapping

helps at reducing tensions.

- OK, let's start.

Gabby, you're the boss, so you go first.

What would you like to say to your employees?

- Oh. Well-- - Don't think.

Just speak. - OK.

OK.

I've never been the boss before,

so I guess I would say...

I'm working all the time,

and I can't get everything done.

It's Christmastime, and I'd really like

to be out celebrating like everybody else,

but I can't 'cause I have this huge responsibility.

Like, if I don't take care of all this stuff...

I'm afraid that y'all's lives would fall apart.

And it would kill me if something happened to y'all

because I had failed.

- How'd she do?

- She'd make a really good boss.

- Now you go.

- I know that I'm just a bartender and that I can be

a little much and that I do things

that even though I'm trying to help

wind up making your life a lot harder--a lot.

And I hate that,

because I don't feel like your employee.

I feel like your family.

You make me feel like family.

- My turn!

When I was a kid, it was just my mom and me.

And I thought that was all I needed.

But now I have a sister

and a Gabby

and an Emmett and a Takoda and a Steve.

You guys could have rejected me,

but instead, you've made me feel so special.

You know, this might be our first Christmas together,

but you can never top the gift you've already given me.

- Oh, sweetheart.

- Isabella, I love you.

- Oh.

- That's beautiful, just beautiful.

What happened to your accent?

- I was imagining I was in America.

- Crushed it.

- Yeah.

Yeah.

- So did that help?

- It did. It really did.

Well, we don't want to rush you, Danny,

but I'm sure Bobbie would like to know

your decision about the party.

- Yeah.

Well,

I'm afraid I'm gonna have to

spend some money 'cause the answer's yes!

- Yes!

- Oh, yes, yes, yes.

- Is it a yes?

- Yes! - It's a yes.

- Hot damn.

I bet the scallops you made were the clincher.

- Well, I couldn't have done it without some help from Mr. Out.

- Out's my first name.

- Did he say yes?

- He said yes.

Yes, Danny's gonna have his Christmas party with us.

- Oh. Congratulations.

- Well, hang on.

You're Takoda, right?

- I am.

- You don't seem too happy about this.

- Oh, no.

Of course he's happy!

You just can't tell from his attitude or his face.

- He's--he's just stressed.

- Is she right?

Is this a stressful place to work?

- No, not usually.

- So what's different about it this time?

What am I missing?

.

[upbeat festive music]

- Hello?

Why did everybody get so weird all of a sudden?

Look, I don't know if I can throw a party here

unless everybody stops lying

and tells me who they actually are!

- Uh... What?

You knew we were lying?

- Of course!

I mean, you may be a great restaurant staff,

but you are terrible actors.

- To be fair, Bobbie is a very difficult character to play.

I just--

- So how long have you known?

- Well, I've known Gabby for about three months,

so I'd say about three months.

Don't let the mustache fool you.

I'm actually pretty smart.

- OK, so let me officially introduce myself.

I'm Bobbie, the owner of the tavern.

And this is Gabby, our crazy bartender.

- And I'm Mexican,

but I'm not from there.

- Wait, so you've known for three months,

and you just came here tonight to mess with us?

- If I knew this was a prank,

I would have been lying my ass off.

- No, I wasn't pranking.

I came here thinking I was gonna hang for a half hour,

have a beer, and see what tricks old dog-less

had up her sleeve.

But then you people kept running with it.

I mean, who knew it would go on this long?

- It didn't go on that long.

- I had to reschedule two meetings.

- OK.

- OK, but just to be clear,

you are having a party here, right?

With a lot of people?

- Absolutely. - Ah, yes!

- Whoo!

- Honestly, when I got here,

I had no intention of saying yes,

but there's something about you guys.

It's like you cause each other all this trouble,

but you still have each other's backs.

- It's because we're a family.

- Yeah.

Totally crazy,

but family.

You remind me of these people I knew in Houston 20 years ago.

Anyway, clearly, this means a lot to you guys.

And what kind of Grinch would I be

if I didn't help out at Christmas?

- Thank you very much.

You have no idea what this means.

- Merry Christmas, Bobbie.

- Merry Christmas, Danny.

- Merry Christmas!

- Merry Christmas, honey.

- Merry Christmas. - Merry Christmas.

- Does anyone else feel like singing?

How about you, red?

What do you want to sing?

all: * Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer *

- * Reindeer *

all: * Had a very shiny nose *

* And if you ever saw him *

- * Saw him *

all: * You would even say it glows *

* Like a light bulb *

* All of the other reindeer *

- * Reindeer *

all: * Used to laugh and call him names *

- * Red thunder *