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Everybody, shut up!

All mothers out!

Georgie, Georgie! I don't want 'em in the wings.

I don't want 'em in the theater, I want 'em out!

It's a pleasure, okay, mothers! Move!

Out!

All right, kids,

Let's get in a straight line.

Come on, here.

Come forward one at a time.

The doors open at 7:00,

And Uncle Jocko doesn't have time to rehearse

each of your darling acts.

Um, you-- you-- you wait

right over here, girlie-girl.

Gus, hit this doll with a surprise pink when she does her turn.

Uncle Jocko promised the wee bairn would be a winner, and she will.

Yeah, there.

A chip off her sister's block.

You ought to see them balloons.

Okay, who's the first wee laddie

in Uncle Jocko's kiddie show today?

Take each of them from the top and then cut to the last eight.

Every Friday night...

♪ Ya-da-da-da da-da-da-da-da

Uncle Jocko didn't ken there were so many

talented bairns right here in Seattle--

And the rest of that crap.

"Clarence and his classic clarinet."

♪♪

Georgie, that's what's going to kill vaudeville.

Okay, Clarence, cut to the end.

The end, kiddo. The end, professor.

And who does Uncle Jocko have here?

Who the hell does he have here?

Baby June and company?

Half the song, half the dance, and out.

Gotcha.

♪ May we entertain you?

♪ May we see you smile?

♪ I will do some kicks oh!

♪ I will do some tricks

Sing out, Louise, sing out!

♪ I'll tell you a story

Who said that?

♪ I'll dance when...

You're behind, Louise!

Catch up, baby, catch up!

Who let in one of their mothers?

Hold it, please, hold it.

Save your strength, June.

Louise, dear, if you don't count--

Madam, do you realize you are absolutely--

Oh, I do, Uncle Jocko.

But I want to save your very valuable time for you.

When I saw your sensitive face at the Odd Fellows hall--

You know, my first husband was an Odd Fellow.

I am not an Odd Fellow.I meant the Knights of Pythias.

My second husband was a Knight of Pythias.

I'm not a Knight of Pythias.

Well, where did you catch our act?At the Elks.

My father was an Elk.

I have his tooth in here someplace.

Will you just hold Chowsie for me?

That's short for chow mein.

Mommy just loves chow mein, doesn't she, Chowsie wowsie?

Louise, stop sucking your thumb.

Professor, ahh!

I just marvel how you can make a performer into an artiste.

Now if you could just help my little girls by giving them

a good loud... ♪ Dee-dee-da da-da-da

What is going on here?

God helps him who helps himself.

Oh, Mr. Zipser, Mr. Zipser!

When the girls do their specialty, could you please ad lick it?

Thank you. Show 'em, girls!

Oh, Gus, Gus! Would you please slap

Baby June with something pink?

She's the star.

Smile, baby, dear.

I have seen all kinds of mothers--

Don't hang on the baby's dress. You'll rumple it up.

Do you know a really good agent who could book a professional act like ours?

Professional? Hey, Georgie, Get a load of this.

Don't you laugh.

Don't you dare laugh.

That child is gonna be a star.

That's what they all say.

All right?

But we're not finished.

You are, as far as I'm concerned.

Because you're trying to play favorites.What?

How dare you let that rotten, untalented, fat balloon

block up my babies?

I won't leave the stage until she does.

That child--Have you no loyalty to the Elks?

I'm not an Elk!

Well, the editor of "The Gazette" is.

And I happen to know because, the last meeting,

he showed my father a letter he got complaining

that some contest was fixed.

I guess desperate people do desperate things.

♪ Da-da-dee da-da-da

♪ May we entertain you?

♪ May we see you smile?

Thank you, Professor.

Thank you, Uncle Jocko.

Thank you, Gus!

Thank you, Mr. Zipser.

Smile, girls, smile.

How do you like that? That rotten little Uncle Jocko.

He's as cheap as your grandpa.

10 bucks for a talent like yours!

Well, we're through with kiddie shows

and with your grandpa's lodge hall.

Time we were moving on anyway.

I'm gonna get us an agent to book the act on the Orpheum circuit.

That's dog food, Mama.

That's what he thinks. I'm hungry.

Then why didn't you eat some of our chow mein after the show?

'Cause you two did the work and we've got to save every cent.

I had a dream last night.

I dreamt a whole new act for you.

"Baby June and her Newsboys."

How are you gonna get the boys, Mama?

Louise can be a boy.

And I'll find three others.

Well, how are you gonna pay them?

The experience will be their pay.

I got just enough saved up for scenery and costumes.

If I can just squeeze a couple more bucks out of Grandpa,

we can head for Los Angeles and the Orpheum circuit.

Good night, Mama.

Good night, Grandpa.

You ought to be ashamed.

Fooling your kids with those dreams.

They're real dreams, and I'm gonna make them come real for my kids.

What are you, Rose, a crazy woman?

God put you down right here

because he meant for you to stay right here.

God's like me, Pop.

We both need outside assistance.

Huh, you've squeezed the last penny out of me

that you're ever gonna get.

It ain't for me. It's for my girls!

It's too late for me.

It ain't too late for you to get a husband to support you.

After three husbands, I want to enjoy myself.

I want the girls to enjoy themselves and travel...

Like Mama does.

And you'll leave them just like your mother left you.

Never!

Why aren't you ready for bed, Louise?

June says you said she can sleep with you tonight.

You know how high-strung the baby is after a performance.

I performed.

It ain't the same.

Now say good night and go to bed.

Good night, Grandpa.

Good night, Louise. You're a good girl.

You are a good girl, and I was proud of you tonight.

Mama...

How come I have three fathers?

'Cause you're lucky. You were born with a caul.

That means you have the powers to read palms and tell fortunes

and wonderful things are gonna happen to you.

Why do you fill her with such bunk?

It ain't bunk.

Nothing wonderful is going to happen to her

or to June or to you.

Maybe not to me, but they're gonna have a marvelous time.

I'll be damned if I'll let them sit their lives away

like I did or like you do with only that calendar

on the wall to tell you one day from the next

or that plaque from your rotten railroad company

to say, "congratulations.

For 50 years you did the same dull thing every dull day."

That plaque is a great tribute....

It's solid gold.

How much could you get for it?

Rose, if you ever--

Well, what good's it doing sitting up there?

That plaque belongs there like you belong home!

Oh, anybody that stays home is dead.

If I die, it won't be from sitting.

It will be from fighting to get up and get out!

♪ Some people can get a thrill

♪ Knitting sweaters

♪ And sitting still

♪ That's okay for some people ♪

♪ Who don't know they're alive

♪ Some people

♪ Can thrive and bloom

♪ Living life

♪ In the living room

♪ That's perfect

♪ For some people

♪ Of 105

♪ But I

♪ At least gotta try

♪ When I think of all the sights that I gotta see ♪

♪ And all the places I gotta play ♪

♪ All the things that I gotta be yet come on, Papa ♪

♪ What do you say?

♪ Some people can be content

♪ Playing bingo

♪ And paying rent

♪ That's peachy

♪ For some people

♪ For some humdrum people

♪ To be

♪ But some people ain't me

♪ I had a dream

♪ A wonderful dream, Papa

♪ All about June in the Orpheum circuit ♪

♪ Give me a chance and I know I can work it ♪

♪ I had a dream

♪ Just as real as can be, Papa ♪

♪ There I was in Mr. Orpheum's office ♪

♪ And he was saying to me

♪ Rose, get yourself some new orchestrations ♪

♪ New routines and red velvet curtains ♪

♪ Get a feathered hat for the baby ♪

♪ Photographs in front of the theater ♪

♪ Get an agent and in jig time ♪

♪ You'll be being booked

♪ In the big time

♪ Oh, what a dream

♪ A wonderful dream, Papa

♪ And all that I need

♪ Is 88 bucks, Papa

♪ That's what he said, Papa

♪ Only 88 bucks...

You ain't getting 88 cents from me, Rose.

Well, I'll get it someplace else, but I'll get it!

And get my kids out!

♪ Goodbye

♪ To blueberry pie

♪ Good riddance to all the socials I had to go to ♪

♪ All the lodges I had to play ♪

♪ All the Shriners I said hello to ♪

♪ Hey, L.A. I'm coming your way ♪

♪ Some people

♪ Sit on their butts

♪ Got the dream, yeah

♪ But not the guts

♪ That's living

♪ For some people

♪ For some humdrum people

♪ I suppose

♪ Well, they can stay and rot

♪♪

♪ But not Rose ♪

No, Madam Rose, no.

Mr. Weber, you don't know how to run your theater.

Your business is slipping.

You need youth! Fresh young talent!

Madam Rose, I told you this morning,

I told you this afternoon, and I'm telling you now.

If there is anything I hate worse than kids,

it's kids onstage!Shh!

Children, go play in the alley.

Mr. Weber, that was a rotten remark.

And if you were a gentleman, you would apologize

and book my act.

I am not a gentleman.

Yes, you are! Deep down you are.

Herbie, I've been looking all over for you to get your opinion of the show.

I doubled your Crackerjack order, Ed.

That bad?

Except for a couple of acts.

I left a memo on your desk.

Mr. Weber, you left me in the middle of a sentence.

Madam Rose, you're always in the middle of a sentence.

But if your show is as rotten as this intelligent gentleman says,

you could certainly try my act for a couple of nights, couldn't he?

Yeah, he could. You could, Ed.

What?

Your theater gets a family audience.

They love kids.

And my kids are great.

They sure are.

How do you know?I've seen 'em.

Where?In Seattle.

It would give your show a lift, Ed.

Well...Listen--

Stop pushing. Let me think it over.

Oh, gee...

It's hard for me to say thanks.

You just said it.

Why'd he listen to you?

Everybody in show business listens to anybody.

Besides, I used to book acts into this theater.

Are you an agent?

I was, but I'm in the candy business now.

I sell to vaudeville houses all over the West.

How could you ever leave show business?

When the acts I handled

had too little talent, I got sick to my stomach-- ulcers.

Oh, you're too sympathetic.

Also, I went bust.

I was always giving them my commission

and telling them they got a raise.

The good Lord says charity begins at home.

Well, I don't have a home.

You're not married?

I had five sisters and the ugly one

didn't get married until a year ago.

Why did you help me just now?

I love kids.

Oh.

Also, I've seen you before.Where?

Waiting outside Weber's office.

You looked like a pioneer woman without a frontier.

Hmm.

I, uh, I don't suppose you'd consider being an agent again.

Would you consider marrying again?

How do you know I'm not married now?

I asked your kids about you.

Oh.

Well, after three husbands,

it takes a lot of butter to get you back in the frying pan.

After 20 years in show business,

you kind of breathe better in the real world.

Funny.

What?Us.

I like you...

But I don't want marriage.

You like me...

But you don't want show business.

That seems to leave you there and me here.

That all depends on how you look at it.

You look at what we don't have.

I look at what we do have.

♪ Funny

♪ You're a stranger

♪ Who's come here

♪ Come from

♪ Another town

♪ Funny

♪ I'm a stranger myself here

♪ Small world

♪ Isn't it?

♪ Funny

♪ You're a man who goes traveling ♪

♪ Rather than

♪ Settling down

♪ Funny

♪ 'Cause I'd love to go traveling ♪

♪ Small world

♪ Isn't it?

♪ We have

♪ So much in common

♪ It's a phenomenon

♪ We could

♪ Pool our resources

♪ By joining forces

♪ From now on

♪ Lucky

♪ You're a man who likes children ♪

♪ That's an important sign

♪ Lucky

♪ I'm a woman with children

♪ Small world

♪ Isn't it?

♪ Funny

♪ Isn't it?

♪ Small

♪ And funny

♪ And fine ♪

Well, I'm not gonna pay 'em much money.

Oh, you'll have to talk about money to Herbie.

Are you handling her act?

No, I can't-- but I can't--

Yeah, I guess I am.

I'll be in the office.

♪ We have

♪ So much in common

♪ It's a phenomenon

♪ We could

♪ Pool our resources

♪ By joining forces

♪ From now on...

Rose, is this act of yours any good?

Good? It's great. And June is sensational.

Wait till you see it.

♪ Lucky

♪ You're a man who likes children ♪

♪ That's an important sign

♪ Lucky

♪ You're a woman with children ♪

♪ Small world

♪ Isn't it?

♪ Funny

♪ Isn't it

♪ Small

♪ And funny

♪ And

♪ Fine ♪

Extra!

♪ Extra! Extra!

♪ Hey, look at the headline

♪ Historical news is being made ♪

♪ Extra! Extra!

♪ They're drawing a red line

♪ Around the biggest scoop of the decade ♪

♪ A barrel of charm

♪ A fabulous thrill

♪ The biggest little headline in vaudeville ♪

Presenting...

In person!

That 3'3" bundle of dynamite:

Baby June!

Hello, everybody!

My name is June.

What's yours?!

♪♪

♪ Let me entertain you

♪ Let me make you smile

♪ Let me do a few tricks ♪

♪ Some old and then some new tricks ♪

♪ I'm very versatile

♪ And if you're real good

♪ I'll make you feel good

♪ I want your spirits to climb

♪ So let me entertain you, oh

♪ And we'll have a real good time, yes, sir ♪

♪ We'll have a real good

♪ Time

Oh!

Oh!

Okay, now go ahead.

Whew.

Thank you so much, ladies and gentlemen.

You're very kind.

You know, everyone has someone

to thank for their success.

Usually it's their mother.

And sometimes it's their father.

But tonight, I would like you all to join me

in giving thanks

to an uncle of mine

and an uncle of yours--

the greatest uncle of them all,

our Uncle Sam!

♪♪

Yah!

♪♪

Yah!

♪♪

Yah!

♪♪

Mr. Conductor, if you please.

["The Stars and Stripes Forever" playing]

Oh!

Oh!

All right, all right.

We're up, Madam Rose.

It ain't even 10:00 yet, turn it off.

Louise, Louise, turn it off, Louise.

I was having the loveliest dream

about a special day.

My dream book says that you have a dream like that because--

We wanna sleep!

Well, I just wanted to say that maybe--

Shh!

How can you all sleep on such a beautiful day?

You woke up mother.

I didn't mean to.

It's just that today is my... Well, you know.

Today is the one day when we don't have to travel

and we don't have to rehearse.

Which means we could sleep.

Is Mama mad?

She's in the bathroom making coffee.

She says as long as she's up,

everybody come have breakfast.

Thanks a lot, Louise.

Well, I said I'm sorry.

Mama?

Mama?

Happy Birthday!

Surprise!

♪ Happy birthday to you

♪ Happy birthday to you

♪ Happy birthday, dear Louise ♪

♪ Happy birthday to ♪ You

Yay!

Make a wish. Go on, make a wish.

I wish...

Oh, Mama, I wish--

Oh, that rotten monkey ate a piece out of the cake.

Gigolo! Bad gigolo, bad, bad.

I wish--Make a wish.

One, two, three.

I wish--

Say, that'd make a good coat.

Yay!

Hey, there's only 10 candles on this cake.

What do you care? You ain't gonna eat candles.

But she only had 10 candles last year.

And the year before that.

Come to think of it she's had 10 candles--

Stop right there!

As long as we have this act,

nobody's over 10 and you all know it,

except of course me and--

Where's Herbie? I had a dream.

Tulsa, go across the hall and see what's keeping Herbie.

The rest of you can give Louise her presents

while I go see if the chow mein is warmed up.

Chow mein?

It's my birthday.

But chow mein for breakfast?

Why not? There's egg roll, ain't there?

If Madam Rose paid us a salary, we could have bought you presents, Louise.

But it's more fun to clip from the five-and-dime.

A catcher's mitt and a big-league baseball.

Oh, thank you, Yonkers.

Here's a real stuffed cat.

I love it, Kansas.

And I clipped a goldfish bowl.

I'll give you the fish for lent.

Thanks, L.A.

Oh, what a beautiful package, June.

It's a complete sewing set in a velvet-lined basket.

I should have wrapped them.

Oh, you don't have to wrap books.

Well, happy birthday, Louise.

Happy birthday, Tulsa.

I mean, you're welcome.

I mean, thank you.

All right, one egg roll apiece and no more.

Herbie wasn't in his room, Madam Rose. No.He wasn't?

Where could he be?

Mama, can I see my present from you now?

It's from Herbie and me.

it's not from Herbie, he's an agent.

It's from you.

well, I picked it out, but Herbie paid for it

with his commission for a whole month.

Old Herbie makes the same salary we do.

Inside, you, and get the coffee.

Here I am, busting to tell Herbie about the dream I had.

Mama--

It's really in your honor coming on the very

evening of your birthday.

Oh, baby, you'll love it.

Children, you'll all love it.

It's a new act.

Ohh...

In this dream I saw June singing a song in, like, a barnyard.

And then a cow came onstage.

A cow?

Hey, that's pretty sexy.

Not a real cow.

A kind of a dancing cow with a great big smile.

And that cow-- that cow leaned right over my bed

and spoke to me.

What did the cow say?

Madam Rose!

I'm not cooking in here, Mr. Kringelein! That--

Open this door!

I'm dressing. That cow--

Madam Rose!

I'll call you tomorrow when I'm finished!

Ah!

That dear, fat cow looked me right in the eye and said,

"Rose, if you want to get on the Orpheum circuit, put me in your act."

Children, you know what I'm gonna go?

You're gonna pay that crummy cow and not us.

I ain't paying anybody.

But I'm gonna take the cow's advice.

I'm gonna call the new act

"Dainty June and Her Farm Boys."

I'm gonna get more boys.

I'm gonna put the cow in the act and Chowsie and the monkey

and Louise's present, if you don't mind, honey.

But, Mama, I don't even know what my present is.

No cooking, Madam Rose?

How dare you enter a lady's boudoir without even knocking?

Vere is your hot plate?

"Vere" is your search warrant?Plan B!

Never in all my years of running a theatrical hotel, have I ever--

If you don't leave, I'm gonna scream!

But you know the rules!

No cooking, no electrical appliances...

No dogs, no cats,

No pets of any kind.

Happy birthday, darling.Oh, Mama.

It's a damn zoo.

Profanity in front of my babies.

June, get the bible. Get the bible!

You pack up this dirty menagerie and get out!

You'll have to throw me out, you rotten animal hater.

That's what he is. Send for the S.P.C.A.

Send for the police.

I rented these two rooms to one adult and three children.

And now I find one adult, five pets,

and one, two, three, four--

You counted him twice!

A simple little birthday party for my baby.

One, two, three-- Stand still!

Chow mein, I'd offer you some, but there's only one egg roll.

How many people are sleeping in that room?

What room, Mr. Kringelein?

This room, madam, this room.

There isn't a soul in this room, Mr. Kringelein.

No, but I mean--Except you and me.

Argh! Mr. Kringelein!Stop it!

What are you trying to do?

Stop! Help! Help! Rape!

My babies! My babies!

Monster!

Oh!

Madam Rose, are you okay?

Thank you

A little birthday party-- chow mein, a tiny little cake.

Rose, Rose, are you all right?

Rose, what's happened? Are you okay, honey?

Sure, where have you been? Ooh, Herbie, Mr. Kringelein,

the hotel manager-- he tried-- he tried to--

Again?

Well, I had to do something.

Herbie, don't you dare apologize to him.

Where's Louise?

Fat lot you care. Child has her birthday.

Does she like her present?I'm surprised you remembered.

Where have you been? That's what I want to know.

Rose, this is Mr. Goldstone.

I ask you, Mr. Goldstone--

Child has a birthday once a year.

We plan a nice little party.

Sorry the cake is so small.

Mr. Goldstone is from the Orpheum circuit.

There's only one egg roll apiece and some fried rice and--

The act is booked on the Orpheum circuit, Rose.

♪♪

♪ Have an egg roll

♪ Mr. Goldstone

♪ Have a napkin have a chopstick ♪

♪ Have a chair

♪ Have a sparerib

♪ Mr. Goldstone

♪ Any sparerib that I can spare ♪

♪ I'll be glad to share

♪ Have a dish, have a fork

♪ Have a fish, have a pork ♪

♪ Put your feet up feel at home ♪

♪ Have a smoke, have a coke

♪ Would you like to hear a joke? ♪

♪ I'll have June recite a poem Oh!

♪ Have a litchi

♪ Mr. Goldstone

♪ Tell me any little thing

♪ That I can do

♪ Ginger peachy

♪ Mr. Goldstone

♪ Have a kumquat

♪ Have two

♪ Everybody, give a cheer

♪ Santa Claus is sitting here

♪ Mr. Goldstone

♪ I love you

♪ Have a Goldstone Mr. Egg Roll ♪

♪ Tell me any little thing that I can do ♪

♪ Have some fried rice Mr. Soy Sauce ♪

♪ Have a cookie, have a few

♪ What's the matter, Mr. G? Have another pot of tea ♪

♪ Mr. Goldstone

♪ I love you

♪ There are good stones

♪ And bad stones

♪ And curbstones and gladstones ♪

♪ And touchstones and such stones ♪

♪ As them

♪ There are big stones

♪ And small stones

♪ And grindstones

♪ And gallstones

♪ But Goldstone is a gem

♪ There are milestones

♪ There are millstones

♪ There's a cherry, there's a yellow, there's a blue ♪

♪ But we don't want

♪ Any old stone

♪ Only Goldstone

♪ Will do

♪ Moonstone, sunstone, we all scream for one stone ♪

♪ Mr. Goldstone we...

♪ Love

♪ You ♪

♪♪

Goldstone!

♪♪

♪ Little lamb

♪ Little lamb

♪ My birthday is here

♪ At last

♪ Little lamb

♪ Little lamb

♪ A birthday goes by

♪ So fast

♪ Little bear

♪ Little bear

♪ You sit on my right

♪ Right there

♪ Little hen

♪ Little hen

♪ What game should we play

♪ And when?

♪ Little cat

♪ Little cat

♪ Oh, why do you look

♪ So blue?

♪ Did somebody paint you

♪ Like that?

♪ Or is it your

♪ Birthday, too?

♪ Little fish

♪ Little fish

♪ Do you think I'll get

♪ My wish?

♪ Little lamb

♪ Little lamb

♪ I wonder how old

♪ I am

♪ I wonder

♪ How old

♪ I am

♪ Little lamb ♪

June, hand me Louise's plate.

Mother...

We're paying for it, ain't we?

You'll get an ulcer like Herbie.

Besides, what the dogs won't eat, we will.

Rose, did it ever occur to you there might be somebody

in this world who doesn't like Chinese food?

Don't be silly. Who?

Don't you like it, Herbie?

Sure, Rose, I love it.

Did she?Yes, Mama.

That's a healthy-wealthy lady-wadie.

Oh, God.Herbie's angry.

Herbie's never angry. It's bad for his stomach.

Come on, girls, beddie-bye.It's so early.

But you have to audition for Mr. T.T. Grantziger at his Palace Theater tomorrow.

You have to look young.

Can I wear a dress?

You'd look old in a dress.

Besides, you haven't got one.

Good night, Uncle Herbie.

'Night, June.

Good night, Louise.

Good night, Herbie.

I'll cold-cream their faces and be right back.

Rose, the hotel is two doors away.

Honestly, you behave as though those girls-- Rose!

We need new silverware.

Herbie...

Herbie, how long is it gonna take you to get used to me?

How long did it take me to get used to those coats?

What's the matter with them? They're very stylish!

Louise is very handy with a needle.

As the good Lord says, "an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth,"

and it serves them right for overcharging.

They can skip the cold cream for one night.

All this time we've been together,

and you still stand up for me.

Instead of standing up to you.

Well, I wanted to have dinner, just the two of us,

but what was I gonna do with the girls?

They're just babies.

Rose, no matter how you dress them,

no matter how you smother them, they're big girls.

They're almost young women.

They're not and they never will be.

I'm embarrassed in front of them.

When are you gonna you marry me, Rose?

Don't forget our scrapbooks to Mr. Grantziger's tomorrow.

When are you gonna quit stalling?

Honey, don't you know there's a depression?

Of course I know. I read "Variety."

Don't you know what it's doing to vaudeville?

Don't you know what the talkies are doing to vaudeville?

Don't you know I love you?

Do you think I'd be unfaithful to my husbands if you didn't?

But I have to think of my girls and their happiness.

Louise is very happy being the front end of a cow.

It's better than being the rear end.

Anyway, she loves animals.

She and June should both be in school.

And be like other girls-- cook and clean and sit and die.

Honey, could I have a spoon to stir my tea?

I promised June she'd be a star and she will be.

I promised her I'd get her on the Pantages circuit and I did.

I promised I'd get her on the Orpheum circuit and I did.

I did.

And you promised me that after I did, you'd marry me.

I promised her she'd headline on Broadway.

Didn't you hear what I said?

Yes, but I'm ignoring it.

Thanks, honey.

It isn't very polite of a gentleman to remind a lady that she welched.

There was no date on that promise.

Rose, stop handing me that bull!

Your stomach. Oh, Herbie...

Why don't you get angry on the outside instead

of letting it settle in your stomach?

I'm afraid.

Of me?

Of me.

What do you mean?

if I ever let loose, it'll end with me

picking up and walking.

Only around the block.

No.

Don't say that.

♪ You'll

♪ Never get away from me

♪ You can climb the tallest tree ♪

♪ I'll be there somehow

♪ True, you could say

♪ Hey, here's your hat

♪ But a little thing like that

♪ Couldn't stop me now

♪ I

♪ Couldn't get away from you

♪ Even if you told me to

♪ So go on and try

♪ Just try

♪ And you're gonna see

♪ How you're gonna not at all ♪

♪ Get away

♪ From me

Rose, what do you want?

There are better agents.

Not for me.

Even weaker men.

Not for me.

Then what?

You.

Herbie, just keep helping me like you've been helping.

Just let me get June's name up in lights so big,

it'll last my whole life.

Rose, what you expect...I'll get!

And after I get it, I promise I'll marry you.

I even promise to keep my promise.

Oh, Herbie, I don't want to upset anything before the audition tomorrow,

including your stomach.

♪♪

♪ Rose, I love you

♪ But don't count your chickens ♪

♪ Come dance with me

♪ I warn you

♪ That I'm no boy scout

♪ Relax awhile Come dance with me ♪

♪ So don't think

♪ That I'm easy pickings

♪ The music's so nice

♪ Rose, 'cause I just may someday ♪

♪ Pick up and pack out

♪ Oh, no, you won't no, not a chance ♪

♪ No arguments shut up and dance ♪

♪♪

♪ You'll

♪ Never get away from me

♪ You can climb the tallest tree ♪

♪ I'll be there somehow

♪ True, you could say

♪ Hey, here's your hat

♪ But a little thing like that ♪

♪ Couldn't stop me now

♪ I

♪ Couldn't get away from you

♪ Even if I wanted to

♪ Well, go on and try

♪ Just try ♪ Ah, Rose

♪ And you're gonna see ♪ Ah, Rose

♪ How you're gonna not at all ♪

♪ Get away

♪ From

♪ Me ♪

Yes, Mr. Grantziger.

Yes, I know, but they're having

a little difficulty with their scenery.

Well, wait till you see it.

Now keep the tempo up. Keep it bright.

That's the mother.

No, I have told her.

Hello, Mr. Grantziger.

Where is he?

He's in his office at the top of the theater.

Hi!

it's a pleasure to audition for you, Mr. Grantziger.

You're gonna love us!

That's the agent, he's nice.

We're ready now.

Oh, they're ready now, Mr. Grantziger.

Good luck.Thank you.

♪ Extra! Extra!

♪ Hey, look at the headline

♪ Historical news is being made ♪

♪ Extra! Extra!

♪ They're drawing a red line

♪ Around the biggest scoop of the decade ♪

♪ A barrel of charm

♪ A fabulous thrill

♪ The biggest little headline in vaudeville ♪

Presenting...

In person!

That 5'2" bundle of dynamite...

Dainty...

June!

Hello, everybody.

My name is June.

What's yours?

♪ I have a moo cow

♪ A new cow, a true cow

♪ Named Caroline ♪ Moo moo moo moo

♪ She's an extra-special friend of mine ♪

♪ Moo moo moo moo

♪ I like everything about her fine ♪

♪ Moo moo moo moo

♪ She likes to moo

♪ In the moonlight

♪ When the moody moon appears

♪ And when she moos

♪ In the moonlight

♪ Gosh, it's moosic to my ears

♪ She's so moosical

♪ She loves a man cow, a tan cow who can cow her ♪

♪ With a glance ♪ Moo moo moo moo

♪ When he winks at her she starts to dance ♪

♪ Moo moo moo moo

♪ It's what grown-ups call a real romance ♪

♪ Moo moo moo moo

♪ But if we mooved to the city ♪

♪ Or we settled by the shore

♪ She'd make the moove

♪ 'Cause she loves me more

♪♪

Yes, Mr. Grantziger.

Dainty June, will you come out for a minute?

Face front, dear.

Profile.

Thank you very much, that's all.

But we have a great dramatic finish.

I'm sure,

But, Mr. Grantziger--Ah, hit it!

Stop that music!♪ Broadway

♪ Broadway

♪ We miss it so

♪ We're leaving soon and taking June ♪

♪ To star her in a show

♪ Bright lights White lights ♪

♪ Rhythm and romance

♪ The train is late so while we wait ♪

♪ We're gonna do a little dance ♪

Smile! Yeah!

♪ Broadway, Broadway

♪ How great you are

♪ I'll leave the farm

♪ With all its charm

♪ To be a Broadway star

♪ Bright lights

♪ White lights

♪ Where the neons glow

♪ My bag is packed

♪ I've got my act

♪ So all aboard, come on, let's go ♪

Let's go!

Bye! Bye! Bye!

Watch this! It's a train!

Whoo whoo!

Goodbye, Caroline.

Don't forget to write.

Bye!

Goodbye, Caroline.

Goodbye.

Goodbye!

♪♪

Wait.

Stop the train.

Stop everything.

I can't go to Broadway with you.

Why not, Dainty June?

Because...

everything in life that really matters

is right here.

What care I for tinsel

or glamour

when I have friendship

and true love?

I'm staying here with Caroline!

Yay!

♪♪

Yes, Mr. Grantziger.

What?

He liked it.

Yes, sir, if that's what you want.

If you and your tribe will follow me up to the office,

I'll make out the contracts.

You won't be sorry, Mr. Grantziger!

This is gonna make ya!

Yes?

No, Mr. Grantziger's busy. He's gone down to the stage.

Your mother and your agent are still reading over the contracts.

They won't be much longer.

She's got to eat sometime.

Say, woman to woman...

How old are you?Nine.

Nine what?

Nine, going on 10.

How long has that been going on?

Miss Cratchitt, I think Mr. Grantziger made a mistake in this contract.

So do I.

Happy, girls?

Yes, Mama.No!

We auditioned for Grantziger's Palace.

This is for Grantziger's Variety.

That's right.

But the Variety's way down on 14th street.

He'll give you a visa to get there.

Yes?

I'd like to talk to Mr. Grantziger.

No, I told you he's gone down to the stage.

Then I'm going down to the stage.

Wait a minute, you can't disturb him

while he's holding auditions.

Then I'll wait.

Listen, friend, strictly between us,

if I were you, I'd sign that contract.

There's only one item in that act of yours the boss likes--

Dainty little June.

He thinks she can be an actress.

He's right.

Can be if...

If what?

If she goes to school for a solid year

and takes acting lessons.

He's ready to pay for everything...

On one condition.

You stay away.

Stay away? I'm her mother.

You said it, I didn't.

What about the act?

One week at the Variety.

But June is the act.

How is it supposed to go on without her?

How are Louise and I supposed to live?

You might get a job, dear.

I have a job, dear, and I do it damn well.

My daughters are my job, and I got two of them.

Mama, if June has--

June is my baby. I'm her mother.

Don't you dare answer that phone when I'm yelling at you.

Nobody knows June like I do.

And no one can do for her what I can.

Mama, this is my chance to be an actress.

Mr. Grantziger can make me a star.

You are a star!

And I made you one!

Who's got clippings like she does?

Look, the book's full of 'em.

She don't need lessons any more than she needs Mr. T.T. Grantziger.

There isn't a person in show business who doesn't need Mr. Grantziger.

Then take a good look at this person.

Rose!

Oh, they're so smart in New York.

New York is the center of--

New York is the center of New York!

There's a whole country full of people who know people,

who know what a mother means to her daughter.

It's hicks like you that don't know.

And I'll tell you something else.

Grantziger's a hick. He'll get no place!

Rose!

He's trying to take my baby away from me!

That's what he's trying to do.

Well, over my dead body he will.

Rose, come on now.Just a minute!

Just wait one minute.

No!

Mama's just talking big, June.

She won't really--Yes, she will.

Well, Maybe Mr. Grantziger will--

No, he won't.

Well, that's show business.

Aren't you happy that someone like Mr. T .T. Grantziger

thinks that you can be a star?

You're funny.

Why?

Well, you're never jealous.

Oh, well, I don't have any talent.

I don't mind, really,

except Mama would like it better if I did.

Guess that's what she likes about me.

Mama's no fool.

I'm not a star.

Oh, you are.I'm not!

Mr. Grantziger can make me one.

Mama can make you a star, too.

Mama can do one thing:

she can make herself believe anything she makes up,

like with that rhinestone finale dress that you sewed for me.

Mama wants publicity, so she makes up a story

that three nuns went blind sewing it.

And now she believes it.

She even believes the act is good.

Isn't it?

It's a terrible act and I hate it.

I've hated it from the beginning.

And I hate it even more now.

I hate pretending like I'm two years old.

I hate singing those same awful songs,

doing those same awful dances,

wearing these same awful costumes.

Well, I didn't mean it about the costumes.

No, you just meant that you're too big for them now.

Did you ever feel like you didn't have a sister?

Sometimes.

It's Mama's fault!

You can't blame everything on Mama.

Well, you can't maybe.

I wish she'd marry Herbie and let me alone.

Herbie doesn't want marry her.

All he cares about is the act.

Oh, honest, Louise.

Well, he's an agent.

Your mother isn't feeling well.

I'll take her back to the hotel.

Don't worry, June.

I'll get you a good booking.

I wish Mama would marry a plain man,

so we could all be together.

♪ If Mama was married we'd live in a house ♪

♪ As private as private can be

♪ Just Mama, three ducks, five canaries, a mouse ♪

♪ Two monkeys, one father

♪ Six turtles and me

♪ If Mama was married

♪ If Mama was married I'd jump in the air ♪

♪ And give all my toe shoes to you ♪

♪ I'd get all those hair ribbons out of my hair ♪

♪ And once and for all

♪ I'd get Mama out, too

♪ If Mama was married

♪♪

♪ Mama

♪ Get out your white dress

♪ You've done it before

♪ Without much success

♪ Mama

♪ Godspeed and God bless

♪ We're not keeping score

♪ What's one more or less?

♪♪

♪ Oh, Mama, say yes

♪ And waltz down the aisle while you may ♪

♪ I'll gladly support you

♪ I'll even escort you

♪ And I'll gladly give you away ♪

♪ Oh, Mama

♪ Get married today

♪ If Mama was married

♪ There wouldn't be any more

♪ Let me entertain you

♪ Let me make you smile

♪ I will do some kicks

♪ I will do some tricks Sing out, Louise!

Smile, baby.

♪ Mama

♪ Please take our advice

♪ We aren't the Lunts

♪ I'm not Fanny Brice

♪ Mama we'll buy you the rice ♪

♪ If only this once

♪ You wouldn't think twice

♪♪

♪ It could be so nice

♪ If Mama got married

♪ To stay

♪ But Mama gets married

♪ And ♪ Married

♪ And Married ♪

♪ And never gets carried away ♪

♪ Oh, Mama

♪ Oh, Mama

♪ Oh, Mama

♪ Get married today

That's pretty fancy footwork, Tulsa.

Why don't you show it to Madam Rose?

I'm not that good, Herbie. I'm just fooling around.

Tulsa, you started fooling around about three months ago,

right after Mr. Grantziger canceled our booking.

Well, I

He's just had more time, that's all,

like that two-week layoff in Albany.

And the layoff in Rochester.

And the layoff in Niagara Falls.Sure, Herbie.

I thought you were maybe worried about the act.

Oh, no, Herbie.

because the way things are picking up,

why, I wouldn't be surprised if you kids got paid.

Matter of fact,

they're good enough right now for me to treat you

to an ice cream soda.

No, thank you.

Chow mein?

Mama doesn't like us to eat before a show.

Louise, there's one thing your mama knows.

I wish you did.

I like her.

Herbie.

Uh... uh...

Nothing.

Tulsa, if you or the boys have any problems,

you bring them to me.

Sure, Herbie.

You didn't tell him anything, did you?

I mean, that you're rehearsing a dance

How'd you know I was rehearsing an act?

I saw you practicing on Monday after the matinee

with a broom for your partner. I was up in the flies.

Louise, please, just--Oh, I won't tell anybody, Tulsa.

I promise.

I'm very secretive, like you.

That's what this means, here in your palm.

And this means that you make up dreams, like me.

What do you make up dreams about?

People.

Oh, I do that, too.

You, but yours are about a partner for your act.

She's gonna be more than a partner, I hope.

I mean, I dream that one day...

Well, you know.

What would she have to be like, Tulsa?

A wonderful singer and dancer, I guess.

No, I'm gonna do most of that myself.

I don't mean I'm gonna hog it all, but...

But they always look at the girl in a dance team,

especially if she's pretty.

Oh, makeup can help and costumes.

I've got the costumes all figured out.

I'll sew them for you.Okay!

Hey, thanks!

Well, you see, I pretend

I'm at home getting ready for a date.

I take a comb, comb my hair,

take a flower, smell it,

put it in my lapel,

and I spot the audience.

♪ Once my clothes were shabby

♪ Tailors called me "cabby"

♪ So I took a vow

♪ Said this bum'll be Beau Brummel ♪

♪ Now I'm smooth and snappy

♪ Now my tailor's happy

♪ I'm the cat's meow

♪ My wardrobe is a wow

♪ Paris silk

♪ Harris tweed

♪ There's only one thing I need ♪

♪♪

♪ Got my tweed pressed

♪ Got my best vest

♪ All I need now

♪ Is the girl

♪ Got my striped tie

♪ Got my hopes high

♪ Got the time and the place and I got rhythm ♪

♪ Now all I need's the girl to go with them ♪

♪ If she'll just appear

♪ We'll take this big town

♪ For a whirl

♪ And if she'll say

♪ "My darling, I'm yours" I'll throw away ♪

♪ My striped tie

♪ And my best-pressed tweed

♪ All I really need

♪ Is the girl

I start easy, see?

Now I'm more debonair.

Break.

And I sell it here.

I start this step.

Build it, double it!

And she appears, all in white.

I take her hand...

kiss it,

and lead her on the floor.

This step's good for the costume.

Astaire bit.

♪ Now we waltz

♪ Strings come in...

And I lift her.

Again.

Once more.

Now the tempo changes

and all the lights come up,

and I build for the finale!

Hey, that's it, Louise. Do it over here.

Follow me.

Faster.

Charleston... again!

Once more.

Give me your hands.

♪♪

Hey, come on.

[Herbie speaking, distant train whistle]

Don't lower yourself to argue, Herbie.

If them rats want to quit, then let them quit.

They want their train tickets back--

give them their bus tickets back.

What's keeping those girls?

There's plenty of time, Rose.

And you say they're old enough to take care of themselves.

Look, fellows, I know we've had a couple of layoffs.

It ain't that, Herbie.Then what is it?

We're too old.

Would you be too old if Madam Rose and I

could see our way clear to increasing your salary?

Increase what salary?

Herbie's been paying us.Moron.

Herbie.

How long is it gonna take you to get used to me, Rose?

Button your coat.

Ingrates.

You take the bread out of this man's mouth

and spit it right in his face.

Well, as the good Lord said, good riddance to bad rubbish.

Give them their tickets, Herbie.

They were both rotten in the act anyway.

Okay.

Thanks, Herbie.

We'd like tickets for all the fellas.

All the fellas?They asked us.

You're all leaving?Yes, sir, Herbie.

Something's funny.

Something's very funny here.

Why, Yonkers?

What's this all about?

Okay, if you're all going, you're all going, but why

Where have you been? Where's June?

Louise, where's June?

Don't give me any of your poems to read now.

Answer me.

June wrote this, to you.

What for?

What's she writing me for?

Mama, read it.

She eloped. She didn't elope, stupid.

They got married three weeks ago.

Who got married?

June and Tulsa. June?

Only they had to wait until their act was ready

before they took off.

It's a keen act, ain't it, Louise?

I've never seen it.

We ain't rats, Herbie.

We just know that without June--

Where'd they go Well, first they got

a club date in Kansas. Big mouth.

Can we have the tickets now?

Please, Herbie. We've got to get moving.

See, we fixed up an act--Here.

Get moving.

Don't be sore, Herbie.

It ain't our fault the act's all washed up.

Hey, fellas,

Good luck.

Thanks, Herbie. Good luck to you.

Good luck, Louise.

Good luck.

Good luck, Madam Rose.

Come on, L.A.

Rose,

honey, even if we--

Honey, listen, I can go back in the candy business.

It's steady.

52 weeks, all year, every year,

I'll work my fingers to the bone.

I'll do twice what I did before, and I was pretty fair.

See, I could be a district manager

and we can stay put in one place.

Louise can go to school.

Rose?

Rose, honey, you still got Herbie.

You can marry me, and I promise you,

you won't have one single worry the rest of your life.

Don't you want that?

Yes.

Oh, mama, say yes.

Herbie.

You read palms. I read minds.

Okay, honey.

Honey, it's gonna be fine.

Everything happens for the best.

Okay, so the act's finished,

but you and me and our daughter--

we're gonna have a home.

Say, we even got a cow for the backyard.

Why, we are gonna be the best damn family ever was.

I'm used to people walking out.

When my own mother did it, I cried for a week.

Your father did it.

Then the man I married after him did it.

And, well,

this time I ain't crying.

This time I'm apologizing

to you.

I pushed you aside for her.

I made everything just for her.

No, Mama.

Now she says I can't make her an actress

like she wants to be.

The boys walked because they think the act is finished.

They think we're nothing without her.

She's nothing without me.

I'm her mother, and I made her.

And I can make you now.

I'm gonna make it up to you

for all the years I pushed you in the back.

And I will, my baby, I swear I will.

I'm gonna make you a star.

I'm gonna build a whole new act all around you.

It's gonna be better than anything we ever did before,

better than anything we've even dreamed.

Rose, listen--You're right, Herbie.

It is for the best.

The old act was getting stale and tired,

but the new one--

Look at the new star.

She's gonna be beautiful. She is beautiful.

Finished? We're just beginning,

and there's no stopping us this time.

♪ I had a dream

♪ A dream about you, baby

♪ It's gonna come true, baby

♪ They think that we're through ♪

♪ But, baby

♪ You'll be swell

♪ You'll be great

♪ Gonna have the whole world on a plate ♪

♪ Starting here starting now ♪

♪ Honey, everything's

♪ Coming up Roses

♪ Clear the decks

♪ Clear the tracks

♪ You've got nothing to do but relax ♪

♪ Blow a kiss take a bow ♪

♪ Honey, everything's

♪ Coming up Roses

♪ Now's your inning

♪ Stand the world on its ear ♪

♪ Set it spinning

♪ That'll be just the beginning ♪

♪ Curtain up

♪ Light the lights

♪ You got nothing to hit

♪ But the heights

♪ You'll be swell

♪ You'll be great

♪ I can tell

♪ Just you wait

♪ That lucky star I talk about is due ♪

♪ Honey, everything's

♪ Coming up Roses

♪ For me and for you ♪

♪ You can do it

♪ All you need is a hand

♪ We can do it

♪ Mama is gonna see to it

♪ Curtain up

♪ Light the lights

♪ We got nothing to hit but the heights ♪

♪ I can tell

♪ Wait and see

♪ There's the bell

♪ Follow me

♪ And nothing's gonna stop us till we're through ♪

♪ Honey, everything's coming up Roses and daffodils ♪

♪ Everything's coming up sunshine and Santa Claus ♪

♪ Everything's gonna be bright lights and lollipops ♪

♪ Everything's coming up Roses

♪ For me and for you... ♪♪

Are you ready, Louise?

Yes, mama.

Ready, girls?

Yes, Madam Rose.

Now, don't let the past discourage you.

Remember, you are artistes of the theater.

Madam Rose's Toreadorables.

♪♪

♪ Extra! Extra!

♪ Hey, look at the headline

♪ Historical news is being made ♪

♪ Extra! Extra!

♪ They're drawing a red line

♪ Around the biggest scoop of the decade ♪

♪ A barrel of charm

♪ A fabulous thrill

♪ The biggest little headline in Vaudeville... ♪

Now sell it. Sell it.

Presenting

in person

that 5'4" bundle of dynamite,

Senorita

Louise!

Come on, Louise. Come on.

Olé,everybody.

My name is Louise.

What's yours?

Well, it's coming along.

Mama, I'm just no good at it.

Don't be silly. Let's try the finale.

If you have a good, strong finish,

they'll forgive you for anything.

You're late.

Come on now, girls.

Make it stirring.

♪♪

Pick your feet up, Louise.

Pick them up.

♪♪

They're tired.

You'd better go on up to the tent, girls,

and get ready for bed.

Good night, Madam Rose.

Good night, Madam Rose.

Good night, Louise.

Don't forget to write your mothers for money.

How'd you make out in town?

Not even a lodge hall.

They're too damn un-American down here,

that's the trouble.

We'd better talk about heading up north

after I tell them their bedtime story.

Once upon a time there was a prince named Ziegfeld.

It could happen.

Anyway, everybody needs something impossible to hope for.

Rose, why do you make Louise wear that wig in the act?

It makes her look more like--

Makes her look more like a star.

Why do we keep that cow?

Herbie, if that cow goes, I go.

Oh, the act can be fixed.

If I was doing it for June, it would be all set.

But you're not.

And I'm not June.

Now, Louise, nobody expects you to--

Mama, I love you so much,

and I've tried as hard as I could,

but the act is rotten and I'm rotten in it.

How do you like that? Typical of a kid.

Mama, I've been--Always impatient.

A few break-in dates don't go so hot--

Mama, I am not June, and I am not a blonde.

I can't do what she did.She isn't asking you to.

Maybe you want to stay in show business--

Maybe?Well, I thought--

That's our whole life.

What have we been working for ever since you were a baby?

That's a foolish remark from a foolish girl.

I promised my girl she'd be a star, and she will be.

Baby, I've been on the wrong track with you and the material,

but as the good lord says,

"You gotta take the rough with the smooth," baby.

And like I always say,

you're lucky, because you don't have to take it alone.

Right, Herbie?

Right.

We got Herbie for brains.

We got you for talent.

And you both got me to yell at.

♪♪

♪ Wherever we go

♪ Whatever we do

♪ We're gonna go through it

♪ Together

♪ We may not go far

♪ But sure as a star

♪ Wherever we are

♪ It's together

♪ Wherever I go

♪ I know he goes

♪ Wherever I go

♪ I know she goes

♪ No fits, no fights

♪ No feuds and no egos ♪

♪ Amigos

♪ Together

♪ Through thick and through thin ♪

♪ All out or all in

♪ And whether it's win place or show ♪

♪ With you for me and me for you ♪

♪ We'll muddle through whatever we do ♪

♪ Together

♪ Wherever we go

♪ Wherever we go

♪ Whatever we do

♪ We're gonna go through it

♪ Together

♪ Wherever we sleep

♪ If prices are steep

♪ We'll always sleep cheaper together ♪

♪ Whatever the boat I row you row ♪

♪ A duo

♪ Whatever the row I hoe you hoe ♪

♪ A trio

♪ And any I.O.U. I owe you owe ♪

♪ Who, me owe? No, you owe ♪

♪ No, we owe

♪ Together

♪ We all take the bow

♪ Including the cow

♪ Though business is lousy and slow ♪

♪ With Herbie's vim

♪ Louise's verve

♪ Now all we need

♪ Is someone with nerve

♪ Together

♪ Together

♪ Wherever

♪ Wherever

♪ Together

♪ Wherever

♪ Together wherever we go

Here are the letters, Madam Rose.

That's a good girl. Now go to bed, Agnes.

Now that I'm an actress, it's Amanda.

Whatever it is, go to bed.

Can I ask Herbie a question first?

Sure.

Herbie, do you think we'll ever work again?

Of course we will.I'll get us a booking, Amanda.

Thank you, Herbert.

Louise, your hair.

It's yours if you want it.

Gee, I always wanted to be a blonde.

Then get some peroxide and a toothbrush.

Wigs are expensive.

Say, we could get a good refund on this,

if we ever pay for it.

How about getting a gallon of peroxide

and a carton of toothbrushes?

What for?Make them all blondes.

I was only joking, Herbie.

So was I, honey.Yes, but why not do it?

They're children, Louise.

They're young girls, mama.

And with blonde hair, they could be pretty young girls.

It'd sure jazz up the act and make it easier to sell.

We could call it "Madam Rose and Her Blonde Babies ."

"Baby Blondes."Nothing with babies.

"Hollywood Blondes." Yes.

All blondes except you, because you're the star.

If I'm the star,

then it should be

"Louise...

and Her Hollywood Blondes ."

"Rose-Louise

and Her Hollywood Blondes."

Okay.

♪♪

♪ We go in a group

♪ We tour in a troupe

♪ We land in the soup but we know ♪

♪ The things we do we do by threes ♪

♪ A perfect team No, this way, Louise ♪

♪ Together

♪ Together

♪ Wherever

♪ Wherever

♪ Together wherever we go ♪

It's a real live theater.

With a real live stage.

Oh, Marjorie May, we've arrived at last.

Louise, look!A real live theater.

Kill that flood.

It's just like opening day rehearsals used to be.

Mama's gonna love it.

Will you kill that flood?

Will you shut your hole?

She isn't gonna love that.

Or that.

♪♪

What kind of an act is that?

Okay, jailbait. You the Hollywood Blondes?

Yes--You're late.

Our car broke down--Skip it.

Now some of you dogs can use this dressing room.

The rest-- the one up there.

This one you share with Tessie Tura the Texas Twirler.

My mother doesn't--That one with Mazeppa,

Revolution in Dance.

Shake it up.

Oh...

So you're the act that's supposed to keep the cops out?

You must be lousy.

It's a real live theater, all right.

He reminds me of my brother.

Oh, Amanda, don't start sniveling now.

Come on, grab the cow

and anything else you can carry and go in there.

Marjorie May, why don't you take the other girls

into the second room and start unpacking?

All right, come on, let's wrap this rehearsal.

Ooh.

Look at this.

That Tessie Tura must be a very fancy lady.

She must also be a pig.

Louise.I'm here, Mama.

Here, let me help you.

Louise, we're back in a theater, a real theater.

Mama, where's Herbie?

He went out front to check the billing.

Good morning.

Oh, no, no, no.

Oh, it ain't weighted right, damn it.

It scratches the hell out of me

and it just don't bump when I do.

Maybe there's something wrong with your bumper.

Big joke.

I'm out there bumping my brains off with no action,

and she's being witty.

Hey, you with the neck.

I paid six bucks for that g-string.

Now back where you found it.

Yes, ma'am.

Get the bags.

Get the props. Get the cow.

Now, mama--

You don't know what kind of people these are.

You don't know what kind of a theater this is.

Yes, I do. It's a house of burlesque.

A house of burlesque. Do you know what that is?

Filth, that's what.

I tell you when your friend Herbie shows his face--

Mama, I'm sure Herbie didn't know.

Not much, he didn't. Agnes!

He did the booking over the telephone. Agnes!

Mama, we were all so happy.Agnes, damn it.

Madam Rose, you know my name isn't Agnes anymore.

...Agnes, I want you and the rest of those girls

out of this hellhole in two seconds flat.

But, Madam Rose--March!

Yes, ma'am.

Wait in the other room.

I'll take the front end of the cow, you take the rear.

And what bags we can't carry, your friend Herbie can

damn well pick up and carry by himself.

Now you listen to me, Louise.

Just because you think your friend Herbie--

This has nothing to do with Herbie.

You don't know what burlesque is.

Yes, I do. No, you don't.

No daughter of mine is ever working in burlesque,

and no daughter of any woman I know.

Then, Mama, where are we going to work?

I'd rather starve.

Mama, how much money do we have?

Including what's left of their allowances,

how much do we have?

Something will turn up.Well, something has turned up,

and this is it.

Mama, we're flat broke.

We've got to take this job.

Even if you wanted to quit and go home right now,

we'd have to take this job.

I had a dream.

Mama.

Oh, you'll like this one.

I had it over a week ago, only I didn't want to tell.

I was home in Seattle

and the cow came into my room.

Only this time she wasn't dancing and smiling.

She was wheezing and sadlike.

She came right over to my bed, looked at me, and said,

"Rose, move over."

I'm sorry, Mama.

Why?

She didn't ask you to move over.

No, I mean I'm sorry I'm not good enough

in the act.

Oh, it's the act that ain't good enough, baby.

Rose?In here, Herbie.

Rose, I didn't know, believe me.

I do, honey.

What the hell?

It's only two weeks. The money is good.

Maybe by that time something will turn up, right?

Right.You're a nice girl, Rose.

Thank you.That's show business.

One good thing-- I bet we got top billing.

No. We're featured, though.

Second?

Actually they had us lost in the middle.

I thought last was better, and so it says,

"and Rose-Louise and Her Hollywood Blondes."

and I'm making them put a box around it.

They'll use a lot of pictures.

Forget the box, Herbie. Forget the pictures.

But, Mama, if--You don't know what they say in the business,

but Herbie does.

They say once a Vaudeville act plays in burlesque,

that means it's all washed up.

Nothing's gonna turn up for us, is it, Herbie?

No.

I guess it is a pretty rotten act.

It ain't the act, honey.

I've been telling you, Vaudeville's dead,

stone-cold dead.

Well, we sure as hell tried.We sure as hell did.

Nobody can say we didn't last right up to the very end.

Sure as hell can't.Right?

Right.

Well, I'd better get the cues ready.

Herbie...

...how about marrying me?

Sure.

I love you, you know.

I know.

Do it today.

Not while we're in burlesque.

The day we close.

It's a deal.

Oh, Herbie. I do, honey, I do.

So do I, Rose.Hey, Rose-Louise,

where the hell is your music and light cues?

Be right with you.You Rose

Yeah, I'm Rose-Louise.Things are looking up.

Well, I got a show to open, Rose-Louise, so move your ass.

Listen, you little punk, for the next two weeks

you're gonna speak like a Sunday school teacher.

You got something in this theater

you've never seen before-- a lady.

Look at her. That is a lady.

That is also a lady.

Every girl in this damn act

is a lady, you understand?Yes, sir.

Now go onstage and I'll give you those cues when I'm ready.

Yes, sir. Excuse me, ma'am.

Oh, sir.

Won't you give me your protection?

I'm a lady, too.

Hey, the damn thing worked!

Well, if you ladies will excuse me...

We're very busy.

In my dressing room.

In your dress-- Mama.

You're damn right it is.

And I don't like sharing it any more than you do,

particularly with a troupe of professional virgins.

We are not-- All right.

So you're acrobats.

We happen to be headliners from the Orpheum circuit.

We were booked into this theater by mistake.

Weren't we all?

Say, who made that? I did.

I make all our costumes.

Will you look at them ladylike little stitches?

That miserable broad who's been making my gowns

must be using a fishhook.

What do you pay her?

25 bucks a gown and I provide the material.

30.But she's new in the business.

30. Who are you? Her mother?

Yes. 30.

I'll get the material after the matinee.

It's a deal.

Where's your toreador costume?The girls must have it in--

God knows what else they've got in that dressing room with them.

You know,

from the way that dame walks,

she would have made a damn good stripper in her day.

Hey, Tessie, I'm short a talking woman.

Tough titty.

Tessie, the new comic won't use a chorus girl.

Let him use Mazeppa. Everyone else has.

Now, you know Mazeppa's got a gladiator ballet

just before his spot.

Then cut the ballet. It stinks anyway.

Oh, be a sport. I'm in a bind.

You're always in a bind in this flee-bitten trap.

I'm a strip woman, slob.

I don't do no scenes. Now screw.

Have you ever heard of a first-class strip woman

playing scenes?

Well, you play stock in a dump like this,

you gotta expect to be insulted.

The work's steady, ain't it?

Yeah, but you bring in a new star for each show, don't you?

Tessie, it's just a few lines.

Fat boy,

save your bad breath.

I'll give you 10 bucks extra. Nah.

Excuse me.

I can read lines.And who are you?

Rose-Louise of Rose-Louise and Her Hollywood Blondes.

Wait a minute.

What kind of lines?

You in her act?

Not exactly.

Shut up. How are your legs?

Great, and I'll learn her the scenes.

Okay, 10 bucks.

It's money, Mama.

What's she going to be saying out there on that stage?

The same burlesque crap that's been said since the year one.

Say, where have you been all your life?

Playing Vaudeville.

Where

You name a big city and we've played it.

My grandfather says we've covered the country like gypsies.

Well, you may be a gypsy, Rose-Louise--

Say, that ain't a bad name if you ever take up stripping.

She won't.

No, but you let her feed lines to a bum comic

for a lousy 10 bucks.

That's training.

She's going to be an actress.

This is only temporary.

As soon as she finishes here,

she goes right back to Vaudeville.

Back to Vaudeville, my eye.

There ain't any Vaudeville left except burlesque.

We know.

You know?

You better wise her up.

She's wise.

She's a damn sight wiser than any of you.

Like mother, like daughter.

Okay.

It's okay, baby.

Say,

whose feelings did I hurt?

Yours or hers?

Neither.

We'll both be fine.

That's good, because sharing a dressing room

is like sleeping together.

If you don't get along with one another--

Miss Tura!

Miss Tura.

I will thank you not to give the boss any notion

that I would ever play scenes.

One more disparaging remark about my ballet

will find this bugle right up your--

Please.

There is a lady present.

Where?

Open your eyes instead of your mouth.

Gypsy,

meet Miss Mazeppa and Miss Electra.

Say, you're even younger than I was

when I began stripping.

Oh, I'm not going to strip.

Something wrong with stripping?

No, I just meant that I don't have any talent.

You think they have?

I myself, of course, was a ballerina.

But take it from me, to be a stripper,

all you need to have is no talent.

You'll pardon me,

but to have no talent is not enough.

What you need to have is an idea

that makes your strip special.

♪♪

♪ You can pull all the stops out ♪

♪ Till they call the cops out

♪ Grind your behind till you're banned ♪

♪ But you got to get a gimmick

♪ If you want to get a hand

♪ You can sacrifice your sacro

♪ Working in the back row

♪ Bump in a dump till you're dead ♪

♪ Kid, you got to get a gimmick ♪

♪ If you want to get ahead

♪ You can uh

♪ You can uh

♪ You can uh uh uh

♪ That's how burlesque was born ♪

♪ So I uh

♪ And I uh

♪ And I uh uh uh

♪ But I do it with a horn... ♪

♪ Once I was a schlepper

♪ Now I'm Miss Mazeppa

♪ With my revolution in dance ♪

♪ You got to have a gimmick

♪ If you want to have a chance ♪

♪ She can uh

♪ She can uh

♪ She can uh uh uh

♪ They'll never make her rich

♪ Me, I ooh

♪ And I ooh

♪ And I ooh ooh ooh

♪ But I do it

♪ With a switch...

Ooh!

♪ I'm electrifyin'

♪ And I ain't even tryin'

♪ I never have to sweat to get paid ♪

♪ 'Cause if you got a gimmick

♪ Gypsy, girl you've got it made ♪

♪ All them ooh

♪ And them ooh

♪ And them ooh ooh ooh

♪ Ain't gonna spell success

♪ Me, I hmm

♪ And I hmm

♪ And I hmm hmm hmm

♪ But I do it with finesse...

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪ Dressy Tessie Tura

♪ Is so much more demurer

♪ Than all them other ladies because ♪

♪ You got to get a gimmick

♪ If you want to get applause ♪

♪ Do something special

♪ Anything that's fresh'll

♪ Earn you a big fat cigar ♪

♪ Earn you a big fat cigar

♪ Earn you a big fat cigar

♪ You're more than just a mimic ♪

♪ When you've got a gimmick

♪ Take a look how different we are ♪

♪♪

♪ If you want to make it

♪ Twinkle while you shake it

♪ If you want to grind it

♪ Wait till you've refined it

♪ If you want to bump it

♪ Bump it with a trumpet

♪ Get yourself a gimmick and you too ♪

♪ Can be a star ♪

Go to flood and bring in number four.

I told you we ain't using number four in this show,

you pinhead.Hey, you seen Amanda?

She must be packing.

Ain't your act through today?

You bet it is-- through, finished, over.

Hey, I've been hunting all over for you.

Here.

Oh, Herbie.

It's like for a funeral.

It's for the wedding.

Madam Rose and I want you to be bridesmaid, Amanda.

No, it's Agnes again.

You'll be happier as Agnes, Amanda.

Oh, you're leaving?

Yeah, I have to go home and let my hair grow out.

Oh, you poor kid.

Come on, Tessie.

Shake it up.

Well, for the last time--

♪ Meet you around the corner... ♪

♪ In a half hour ♪

Oh...

Tessie!Tessie.

I'm coming, you creep.

And now, Miss Tessie Tura.

Why aren't you nervous?

I've never been so nervous in my whole life.

You've never been married before.

Well, your mother's never been married before

like she's gonna be this time--

for keeps and forever, to me.

Honey, ain't you a little bit nervous? Sure.

I don't know why the hell I stay in this business.

If it ain't one damn headache, it's another.

Shh, they can hear you out front.

It's my theater, ain't it? Let 'em.

Last show, no talking woman.

The show before that-- no second banana.

If that crazy broad wasn't here,

why did you start the performance?

She don't go on till next to closing.

She said she was only going next door to the drugstore.

What was she arrested for? Shoplifting?

No, soliciting.

She always was greedy. Cut the spot.

Do you think we ought to invite the minister out

for a drink after?

It's the star strip.

Cut it.

They'll yell murder if it's the same act

they've been seeing for the past eight weeks.

The star's the novelty.

And what do you want I should do?

Let you strip?

My daughter can do it.

Rose-Louise. Since when?

Ever since she's been here to see how little there is to it.

She didn't look bad in them scenes.

She'll look great in her own gowns.

What's the gimmick?

She's young.

And you got any better ideas?

Well, she'd better get ready right damn quick.

It's the star spot.

You're telling me?

That means the star salary.

If we keep her.

You will.

She's gonna be wonderful.

I knew something would turn up.

Where's that dress you were gonna make for Tessie?

It will work perfect for you.

Well, come on, get your makeup on.

There ain't much time.

Oh, silly,

you ain't really gonna strip.

All you'll do is walk around the stage in time to the music

and drop a shoulder strap at the end.

You're a lady, like Herbie says you are.

You'll just parade so grand,

they'll think you're doing them a big favor

if you even show them your knee.

Louise, it's the star spot.

I always promised my daughter we'd be a star.

Baby,

it's all right to walk out when they want you,

but you can't walk out now

when after all these rotten years we're still a flop.

That's quitting.

We can't quit because we're a flop.

Louise, don't be like June.

Just do this so we can--

we walk away proud because we made it--

maybe only in burlesque,

maybe only a second-rate burlesque at that--

but let's walk away...

a star.

There ain't enough time to finish the dress,

but we can pin it.

Hey, here's some material for extra panels.

Didn't I tell you you were born lucky?

You can unpin them and drop them every once in a while

so they think you're taking something off.

Not too much makeup, baby-- young and girlish, pure.

Don't smear that junk all over your face like they do.

You keep your mouth the way the lord made it.

No rouge, no beauty marks.

You be a lady--

grand, elegant,

with a classy, ladylike walk.

Shoes.

Oh, my god, shoes.

Well, you could wear these--

these old silver ones I borrowed from Tessie.

They'll do for this performance.

Come on, get into them.

Oh, no, your hair's all wrong.

You can't let it just hang there like spaghetti.

Put it up.

It's got to have class.

Fluff it up in the front.

Thank God the Lord gave us good color

and that you washed it this morning.

Say, maybe we should put in a couple of feathers, huh?

No, that's what they all do.

Jewelry, jewelry.

No, let Tessie and the others

wear all the vulgar junk they want.

She almost ready? She goes on in five minutes.

She'll be there. She'll be there.

Come on. Get into the dress.

What are these?

Oh.

My wedding present from Tessie.

Good for a lady. Yeah, wear them.

Let's see, what else?

Music!

Hmm, Spanish, cow, military-- no.

Say--

Say, you can do June's "Let Me Entertain You" number.

I'll mark it for the conductor to repeat two choruses slow--

No, 2 1/2 choruses.

And sing out, Louise.

You just walk and dip. My girl's a lady.

Make them beg for more and then don't give it to 'em.

Let's see, anything else?

Where you been? Out front?

No, I got sick to my stomach and threw up.

But you feel better now?

No.

Herbie, I had to.

That's why I'm leaving.

I apologize.

No, let me,

for my resemblance to a mouse--

no, to a worm, the way I've crawled after you.

No more, Rose. I won't.

I was even going to crawl away from you

because my stomach started to turn over at the idea

of coming back and telling you we're finished.

Tell me tomorrow after we're married.

We're never getting married.

Sure, we are, first thing in the morning.

Never! Not if you got down on your knees and begged.

Oh, I still love you,

but all the vows from here to doomsday--

they couldn't make you a wife.

I want a wife.

I'm gonna be a man if it kills me.

So you're killing me.

Nobody can kill you.

You're jealous,

just like every man I've ever known,

jealous because my girls come first.

Well, they always did and they always will.

Then why did June leave?I don't wanna hear her name.

She didn't want the act any more than Louise wants this.

Louise does.

She'll leave like June did.

Never.

She's gonna be a star.

She's gonna be a star if it kills you and her.

She's gonna be a star someplace.

Where are you gonna be when she gets married?

She won't be getting married for years.

She's a baby.

Sure.

Anyway, her career will always come first.

That's right.

That is right.

Herbie...

why does everybody walk out?

Maybe Louise won't.

Don't leave, Herbie.

I need you.

What for?

A million things.

Just one would be better.

Goodbye, honey.

Be a good girl.

You go to hell.

Come on, get her music to the conductor.

And you'd better stand by me for the light cues.

I just hope you know what you're doing.

♪♪

♪ Lucky

♪ You're a man who likes children ♪

♪ That's an important sign

♪ Lucky

♪ I'm a woman

♪ Funny

♪ Small

♪ And funny ♪

I'll take this to the conductor.

Just remember you're a lady...

...and you are going to be a star.

Mama, I'm pretty.

I'm a pretty girl, Mama.

She's pretty.

You look beautiful.

Good luck, honey.

Are you nervous?

What?

I said, are you nervous, baby?

No, Mother.

Wichita's one and only burlesque theater presents...

Mama?

Miss Gypsy Rose Lee!

Louise.

Go on, baby!

Let's go, honey.

♪ Let me entertain you...

We can't hear you!

♪ Let me make you smile...

Sing out, Louise.

♪ Let me do a few tricks

♪ Some old and then some new tricks ♪

♪ I'm very versatile

Oh, yeah, but can you dance?

♪ And if you're real good

♪ I'll make you feel good

♪ I want your spirits to climb ♪

♪ So let me

♪ Entertain you...

Let's see some skin.

♪ And we'll have a real good time ♪

♪ Yes, sir

♪ We'll have

♪ A real good time...

Well, do something.

Dip.

Take something off.

Mama?

Where are you going, honey?

A glove.

Well, say something.

Hello.

Hello.

Come on, cutie.Well?

Everybody...

my name is...

Gypsy...

Rose...

Lee.

What's yours?

Barney.

Sir.

Mr. Conductor, if you please.

♪ So let me

♪ Entertain you

♪ And we'll have a real good time ♪

♪ Yes, sir

♪ We'll have

♪ A real good time ♪

The Alhambra Theater of Philadelphia

brings you our featured attraction--

Miss Gypsy Rose Lee!

♪♪

♪ Let me

♪ Entertain you

♪ Let me

♪ Make you smile

I'm beginning to like this.

My mother,

who got me into this business...

always told me,

"Make them beg for more

and then don't give it to them."

But I'm not my mother.

So if you beg for more,

I'll give it to you.

♪ And we'll have a real good... ♪

Beg.

The Diamond Burlesque of Detroit

presents another jewel in our glittering crown--

Miss Gypsy Rose Lee!

The Old Howard Theater of Boston

invites all you floundering fathers

to the most spectacular event--

Miss Gypsy Rose Lee!

What am I going to do when big hats go out?

Use mine!

And now, Minsky's World-Famous Burlesque

presents the queen of the striptease,

the incomparable Miss Gypsy Rose Lee

in our salute to the Garden of Eden.

♪♪

Pack up your petals, girls,

and back to the garden.

Bonsoir, messieurs

et messieurs.

Je m'appelle

Gypsy

Rose

Lee.

And that concludes my entire performance in French.

I've been too busy learning...

Greek.

Where were you last night?

Some man accused me

of being an ecdysiast.

Do you know what that means?

No.

Do you?

No.

Do you No.

You do.

No.

He's embarrassed.

Don't be embarrassed.

I like men without hair.

An ecdysiast...

is one who...

or that which...

sheds its skin.

In vulgar parlance...

a stripper.

But I'm not a stripper.

At these prices,

I'm an ecdysiast.

♪ And if you're real good

♪ I'll make you feel good ♪

♪ I want your spirits

♪ To climb

♪ Let me entertain you

♪ And we'll

♪ Have

♪ A real good time... ♪♪

Bravo.

Bravo.

Bravo.

Sure, I saw that sign. Huh!

If I can read the fine print in our contracts,

I can certainly read letters two-feet high.

"The mother of Miss Gypsy Rose Lee

is not allowed backstage at this theater." Huh!

You want to know what I did with that sign?

I tore it off the wall, spread it out on the floor,

and I set Chowsie III down on it.

That dog's a trouper. She knew what to do.

It'd take more than signs to keep me out of a theater.

That comes down.

You need something to remind you that your goal

was to be a great actress,

not cheap stripper.

June's the actress, Mother.

And I'm not a cheap stripper.

I'm the highest-paid in the business.

You won't be ready when vaudeville comes back.

No, I'll be dead.

Renee, tell Sam he can lock the animals up for the night.

I'll tell him.Mother, please.

And, Renee, bring in my press agent as soon as he gets here.

Oui, Madam.

Aren't you going to take your bath?

Yes, Mother.

Then why are you fixing your face?

A photographer's coming.

Where's he gonna photograph you? In the tub?

Eventually.

Louise.

It's for "Vogue."

Louise. Well, I'd better get out our scrapbooks.

Phil's taken care of all that.

Phil-- ugh, he's a rotten press agent.

He never tells them we headlined the Morpheum Circuit.

I've got it.

Hello.

Hello.

It's difficult right now.

I'm not leaving.

I'll see you at the party.

I promise.

A bientot.

A bienwhat?

I guess I'm being a little much, but, Mama, I love it.

All right.

Who's giving the party?

Some friends.

In the old days,

I was always invited first.

Well, I wouldn't go even if I did have something to wear.

I've got more important things to do,

like thinking up an idea for a new strip for us.

Mother, we're still stuck with that wind machine you bought

to blow my clothes off.

Actually, I'm putting in a new number on Saturday.

What is it?

You'll see.

I'll see?

Let me surprise you.

These days you're just one big surprise after another.

Well, we have to go shopping tomorrow

for the material for the gown.

I've got a French lesson tomorrow.

Oh, well, I'll go alone.

Any particular color you have in mind?

Mother, I've already started making the gown.

Oh.

Well, uh-- hm.

Well, I'd better run your bath.

You don't have to. That's what I've got a maid for.

Let me do something, damn it.

What, Mother?

A million things.

A million things. I'm not a baby.

Neither am I.

Don't you take that tone to me.

Your sister used to get that edge to her voice.

I am not June.

You're not Louise either.

Neither are you.Oh, yes, I am.

More than you, Miss Gypsy Rose Lee,

with your dirty pictures for "Vogue"...

Mother, that's--And your maids and your press agents

and your fancy friends with their fancy parties.

They happen to be

They laugh at her.

They don't laugh at--They do!

And don't think I don't know that's one reason

why you don't want me backstage--

so I won't hear them laugh.

Well, that's them you ought to keep out, not me,

because they're laughing at you, too,

you, the burlesque queen who speaks lousy French

and reads book reviews like they was books.

Turn it off, Mother.You know what you are to them?

A circus freak, this year's novelty act.

And when the bill is changed--

I said turn it off.

Nobody laughs at me, because I laugh first...

at me--

me from Seattle,

me with no education,

me with no talent,

as you've kept reminding me my whole life.

Well, look at me now--

a star.

Look at how I live.

Look at my friends.

Look at where I'm going.

I'm not staying in burlesque.

I'm moving.

Maybe up, maybe down,

but wherever it is, I'm enjoying it.

Mama, I'm having the time of my life

because for the first time it is my life.

And I love it.

I love every second of it.

And I'll be damned if you're going to take it away from me.

I am Gypsy Rose Lee.

And I love her.

And if you don't, you can clear out right now.

Madam,your press agent is here with a photographer.

Tell him I'll be ready in a minute.

Oui, Madam.

Mama, we can't go shouting

seven performances of this a week.

The whole family shouts.

It comes from our living so near the railroad tracks.

I'm getting an ulcer.

You think I'm not?

Yes, I think you're not.

And if you want an ulcer, Mama, get one of your own.

You can't have mine.

Everybody's got stomach trouble but me.

Louise, let's forget it.

No, Mama, let's finish it.

I gotta go feed Chowsie.

Mama, you fought your whole life.

I wish you could relax now.

You need more mascara on your left eye.

Mama, you've got to let go of me.

Let go?

I'll give you anything you want.

You need me.

A house, a farm, a school--

a dramatic school for kids.

You were always great with kids.

I am a pro,

not an old workhorse you can turn out to pasture

just 'cause you think you're riding high on your own.

Mama, no kid does it all on his own.

But I'm not a kid anymore.

From now on, even if I flop, I flop on my own.

Hey, Gyps,

what do you say?

"So long, Rose."

That's what she says.

"Don't slam the door as you leave."

Hello, Rose.

Gyps, baby,

may I present Monsieur Bougeron

Enchante, Monsieur.

Enchante, Mademoiselle.

Let's make with the oiseau,kiddies.

Hmm?

One before the plunge.

Fine.

All right, Miss.

Just one thing I want to know--

all the working and pushing

and finagling,

all the scheming and scrimping,

all the lying in bed nights

figuring how we're gonna get from one town to the next,

how do we all eat on a buck,

how do I make an act out of nothing--

what did I do it for?

You say I fought my whole life.

I fought your whole life.

So tell me now,

what did I do it for?

I thought you did it for me, Mama.

Come on, smile, Gyps.

Show us your talent.

That's it.

♪♪

I thought you did it for me, Mama.

I thought you did it for me, Mama.

I thought you made a no-talent ox into a star

because you like doing things the hard way, Mama.

And you haven't any talent--

not what I call talent.

Talent for the deaf, dumb, and blind,maybe!

Not an ounce of it, Miss Gypsy Rose Lee.

I made you!

And you want to know why?

You want to know what I did it for?

Because I was born too soon and started too late.

That's why. With what I got in me,

I could have been better than any of you.

What I got in me, what I've been holding down

inside of me--

Oh, if I ever let it out,

there wouldn't be signs big enough.

There wouldn't be lights bright enough.

Here she is, boys. Here she is, world.

Here's Rose!

♪♪

♪ Curtain up

♪ Light the lights...

Play it, boys.

♪ You either got it

♪ Or you ain't

♪ And, boys, I got it...

You like it?

Yeah!

Well, I got it.

♪ Some people got it

♪ And make it pay

♪ Some people can't even

♪ Give it away

♪ This people's got it

♪ And this people's

♪ Spreadin' it around

♪ You either have it

♪ Or you've had it...

Hello, everybody.

My name is Rose.

What's yours?

How do you like them egg rolls,

Mr. Goldstone?

♪ Hold your hats and hallelujah ♪

♪ Mama's gonna show it to ya ♪

♪♪

♪ Ready or not, shh

♪ Here comes Mama

♪ Mama's talkin' loud

♪ Mama's doin' fine

♪ Mama's gettin' hot

♪ Mama's goin' strong

♪ Mama's movin' on

♪ Mama's all alone

♪ Mama doesn't care

♪ Mama's lettin' loose

♪ Mama's got the stuff

♪ Mama's lettin' go...

Mama.

♪ Mama's got the stuff

♪ Mama's got to move

♪ Mama's got to go...

Mama.

Mama.

♪ Mama's got to let go...

♪ Why did I do it?

♪ What did it get me?

♪ Scrapbooks full of me in the background

♪ Give 'em love and what does it get you? ♪

♪ What does it get you? One quick look as each of 'em leaves you ♪

♪ All your life and what does it get you? ♪

♪ "Thanks a lot" And out with the garbage ♪

♪ They take bows and you're batting zero ♪

♪ I had a dream

♪ I dreamed it for you, June

♪ It wasn't for me, Herbie ♪

♪ And if it wasn't for me

♪ Then where would you be ♪

♪ Miss Gypsy Rose Lee?

♪ Well, someone tell me when is it my turn? ♪

♪ Don't I get a dream for myself? ♪

♪ Starting now it's gonna be my turn ♪

♪ Gangway, world, get off of my runway ♪

♪ Starting now I bat a thousand ♪

♪ This time, boys, I'm taking the bows and... ♪

♪ Everything's coming up Rose ♪

♪ Yeah, everything's coming up roses ♪

♪ Everything's coming up roses this time for me ♪

♪ For me

♪ For me

♪ For me

For me!

For me!

♪ For me...

♪ Yes ♪

Just-- just trying out a new--

a few ideas you might want to use.

You really would have been something, Mother.

Think so?

If you had had someone to push you, like I had.

If I could've been, I would've been,

and that's show business.

I guess I did do it for me.

Why, Mama?

Just wanted to be noticed.

Like I wanted you to notice me.

I still do, Mama.

It's okay, Mama.

It's okay, Rose.

Say...

You look like you should speak French.

You're coming to that party with me.

No.Come on.

No. Like this?

You can wear my fur.

I've got a stole in the box office.

Well, maybe just for an hour or two.

Say, this looks better on me than it does on you.

Funny how we can both wear the same size.

Especially in mink.

You know, I had a dream last night.

It was a big poster of a mother and daughter--

like the cover of that ladies' magazine.

Yes, Mother.Only it was you and me

wearing exactly the same gown.

It was an ad for Minsky.

And the headline said,

"Madam Rose...

...and her daughter Gypsy"!

♪♪

♪♪