Original subtitles

What's up, guys?

I was like, I'm trying to stay here.

I'm doing good.

Nothing, nothing's up.

We have great friends of the show.

Yes. Jade, Jade Jones, and Hazel Horn.

There's been about a year, right?

Yeah, almost exactly, I think. Next month makes a year.

So we did some warm -up prep for this.

just a little bit you know gotta get excited gotta prep jade because you guys

have you guys been having any sex with with men no not even like with each

other that's much sadly but she has

her own work that she does

Things have been happening. Well, that happens. That happens a ton.

When you're married, you know. Yeah.

You're going to be an old married couple.

When was the last time you had sex? 50 years ago.

No, no, no. This is keeping us alive.

No.

So, Hazel, what kind of work are you doing now?

I'm just doing OnlyFans. Been doing... that just basically just that.

Do you do a lot of solo type stuff?

I do mostly solo. I've been playing with, you know, the weird

monster dicks lately.

Oh, okay.

That's what I've been up to recently.

So now in my room I have a shelf of all the monster dicks on display.

So when I'm FaceTiming my family, gotta make sure I don't... Then they'll get a

whole row.

They're everywhere.

They are everywhere. I'm going to put up a new shelf to get new ones.

People aren't asking you to do naked stuff with your wife.

Yeah, but Jade's kind of... She has this one fan that's just crazy.

And I did one video with her for him, but I don't really do content unless

with you.

Special.

No, but yeah,

not a lot of people have asked too much.

They're just okay with me doing solo.

They do ask for boy girl, and that's awesome.

Last year, we did a content trade, too.

But then I'm just going to direct them to your page and be like, oh, there you

go. If you want a boy girl, there you go.

Alex has a new video.

Yeah.

So, Jade, what kind of stuff are you doing?

Unemployed or what?

I am unemployed at the moment.

I'm Jade's sugar mama.

She's my broke sugar mommy.

Now I'm her brown sugar mommy.

But I was keeping it up for a while.

You know, that rabid, the rabid consumerism came out and was just like,

-bye. That's good.

Really good.

I just am trying to practice and build up a career for tattooing. So that's

Oh, okay.

And we also moved across the country.

Yeah, where'd you guys move?

Tell me about it.

Vegas moved into a small little town in West Virginia that has no people.

But it's okay because it's to focus on work too.

So now in Vegas it was, everything's so distracting there.

And the boba, the boba man got me in a choke hold. I started drinking

too much.

So did you drink too much boba tea?

Yeah, and they're like $6 or $7 now.

I haven't watched Regina Honey Boba Tea out there. There's none.

No. I quit cold turkey.

I quit cold turkey.

You should have called Dave Ramsey. Dave Ramsey.

Boba Tea.

It would have been like instead of the avocado toast, it's Boba Tea.

Dave is spending $25, $30 now on Boba Tea.

You stay in your house and you put the monster dildos in your pussy. That's it.

You're drinking water. Tap water.

That's it.

You can't even drink the tap water in West Virginia.

Oh, no. It's good there.

Yeah, it's got a lot of train fuel in it.

It's just good for the brain.

But if you drink it, you know, I heard you gain superpowers.

Yeah, sure.

Yep.

But, you know, we're kind of losers, so we put a tap filter on it. And you know

that Samsung fridge has a built -in filter.

Nice. Yeah.

She's not sponsored.

I'm not sponsored.

Samsung, if you want to sponsor them.

Girl.

No, but that's what our adventures have been up to as of recently.

driving cross country when we moved because we didn't we packed all our

a U -Haul which those things are expensive we packed all the things in

-Haul and drove we drove in a snowstorm mostly snow it was in Colorado and

in Idaho you couldn't even see yeah it was fun it

was fun especially with Our friend as a driver, she's a psycho driver.

Bro, it was scary.

It was scary. But we got here in one piece and we're not off the road

So, you know, that's all good.

It's all good.

So you guys have like another friend that you don't want to?

We have two roommates. Two roommates.

Because we got the house.

And the house is like five, seven bedrooms, something like that. It's not

huge, but it's really, it's like a single family home. It's just they have

of random bedrooms. Yeah, it's got a West Virginia mansion.

Yeah, West Virginia mansion. It's got the basement. Oh my God, the basement.

basement is so cool.

It's kind of like Civil War Ghosts in the basement. No, they trapped the

children. I swear they did. I swear they did. Because they have a room that's

just in the corner where there's... It looks scary.

It looks scary. And there's like hand -painted alphabet on the floor.

No, I'm serious. You're making... We're making jokes.

It's a theater room now.

But it was all concrete and it's like concrete bricks and the...

look like scary down there it looks better now it looks better now um but

that house is weird uh we found some like crosses dug up in the backyard i

a rosary buried in the backyard it's two in the morning yeah you guys definitely

promised

So we have the basement and that has a room which we swear the children were

locked up in but we don't know so there's a room down there I

don't know man it doesn't have anything to do with like this I'm assuming we can

if we don't tell me so okay Then

the first floor the first floor of the house

or whatever.

The living room, it has a little Harry Potter room down, like, under the

Oh, like, where somebody locks somebody up under the stairs? Yep, yep. I'm

telling you, they have perfect opportunity everywhere.

Um, and then there's my room, which is kind of like an add -on, and a guest

and a bathroom, and then upstairs is, uh, three bedrooms, an office, and then

the attic in the office.

There's some skin crawlers living in the attic, too. I've seen them.

It looks scary, so we haven't really gone up there. It's one of those ones

you pull down and the ladder automatically comes down.

The house honestly looks like the Conjuring house.

It's white and black like it too.

It is.

It's perfect. I'm going to paint it pink and white later on.

some time into it.

Maybe we'll find a DVD in the attic of the children they kept in the basement.

Maybe.

We don't know.

And when we moved in, I swear I saw like a shadow figure walking around.

But my mom's like one of those preacher people.

Did you see the hat man?

The hat man?

No, I don't think so. He actually is my best friend. Did you know that?

My mom was just like, I'm going to pray for you guys. I'm going to pray for your

house.

She's just like, I prayed every day for like a week straight. Going to sleep, I

prayed. I envisioned your house in light.

And I'm just like, okay, mom. Thank you.

Thank you. Meanwhile, I'm just putting the water jugs in the corners of the

house.

It's been interesting, but it's been a little stressful. So I'm glad we're here

and we're going to de -stress a little bit.

Let's go.

It's time to get away from the haunted house.

The haunted house.

And come to beautiful Florida. I miss the humidity.

I miss everything about it.

Most people are like... I hate it. You walk outside and your body is wet.

Most people have that exact reaction. Me? I love it. My skin thrives. My hair

thrives. You know...

The beach. The beach.

The warm water. That is like the cherry on top.

Don't you guys have the watering hole in West Virginia? The watering hole?

You don't have a crick?

We do have a crick.

We have one right behind our house. Yes, there you go.

That's where all the crackheads live, in that crick.

Collecting water in their water bottle. Those are outdoor things. Those are

candles.

Oh, you're right. I think they call...

zombie backpackers in the town that we live or something like that.

I've never heard that. Is everybody on that there?

Yeah. Yeah.

You can tell because their jaws are all collapsed and rotted.

My friend applied to a stripper job there. Life in rural America.

Yeah, there's strip clubs, except you have to be fully nude to work there,

is crazy to me. Also, they don't let you into a strip club if you're a girl. If

you're not accompanied by a man.

Yeah, if you're not accompanied by a man. Well, they don't have time for your

lesbian foolishness. Yeah, they're like, you're going to be a lion.

They're like, that goes against God.

They want old, drunk men on drugs.

Yeah. Looking to spend their whole paycheck.

Yeah. And I'm like, that's what they're looking for.

Me and one of my roommates tried going to the strip club the other night, and

they, because there's two in town, or like, two... What's the, do you

what's like the population of the town? Like 50 ,000? I think it's like 50,

around 50, yeah.

So they didn't let us in, and we got turned away both times, and we're just

like, damn, we're both lesbians too. Like, what the fuck? We could have gone

a dance.

No, they were just like, we can't let you in.

And they were even like. They don't like you Budweiser supporting folk.

I was just like. Sipping those fruity beers.

Trying to do lesbian activities.

Yeah. Isn't a good Christian stripper.

Yeah. I don't know.

Part of the requirements to be a stripper is. They literally said, you

too chunky.

And you have to have teeth. That was it.

Yeah.

It's wild out there.

That's literally what they said. You have to have teeth. That was funny to

Yeah. Did you guys get in? Have you been inside any of them yet?

No. Because we're all.

You gotta come to West Virginia. We don't know any men in the state.

We don't know any men.

I just wonder what the.

I really don't know what they look like. Even if you hung out outside, you'd

probably never see them leave.

They just live there.

It doesn't look like you're stalking them, too.

I think, yeah, there's only a

couple bars.

There's not too much to go and do.

Is there like a mill in town or anything?

A what?

Like a mill? Like a steel mill or a paper mill?

I think there's a bunch of oil places.

What? There's a bunch of oil places, and there's a nuclear power plant nearby.

Okay, so guys work at the nuclear plant. Yeah, they work usually in oil fields

or at the nuclear plant.

There's also a lot of truckers.

Nice.

But that's about the main... the main job, so I would say trucking, that oil

field, nuclear power plant.

You guys should become truckers.

You know, I've thought about it. I think it's like six months.

It's like six months. I love to see you driving a fucking thing. No, I think

it's only six months.

Oh my god.

When I first got my car, my first one, I would run into things like crazy.

She purposely got over her.

And then he sold that car to me for $500.

So I jumped with a curve. So just imagine, I'm probably going to run over

cars if I become a trucker.

You're going to hear the, I'll be like, oopsie. It's fine.

You don't kill anybody.

It's fine.

You know, you're supporting the infrastructure of America. Those people

little cars don't matter.

They really don't. It's the truckers. Yeah.

The truckers are the important people. They keep the backbone of the country

going. That's right.

You know, who do you think gives you that Amazon one, two day shipping?

The truckers.

That's right.

I didn't know you were so patriotic.

No, I'm not.

I'm just stupid.

And what?

No, we have a friend who's a truck driver.

He got fired because he ran into a fire hydrant.

He ran it over.

He ran it over.

Well, he was going to get fired, but he quit before they could fire him. And

just got hired somewhere else. And got hired somewhere else.

That's good.

That's good. The good American people.

Yeah, my uncle did that. He's a truck driver.

And he like, he like just.

Last year, like, smashed his trailer turning into, like, the side of the

warehouse or something.

And then they, he just started working somewhere. Like, they were, like, put

on, like, suspension or something.

But, like, you know.

Those things, those trucks are big, man. Why don't you smash some stuff up a

little bit? Break some things.

Our roommate said that some of the truck drivers, if they see an animal on the

road, will purposely hit it. And that makes me want to cry sometimes.

Wow, they probably... No, they said they've seen it happen.

I guess they'd probably tell you to not, you're not supposed to swerve.

No, that's not part of their policy.

But you're saying that they intentionally, they go out of their way

they go out of their way to hit them.

Oh no.

There goes Bambi.

There are a lot of deer in the area.

You know, they total cars.

I never knew that.

Yeah.

That's crazy.

And there's no insurance policy against it.

You just, you hit a deer, go well.

Probably buy a car.

I feel you.

Well, I'm not sure I should cover that.

In the area, yeah.

But, no, that's just how they make their money.

It's getting a little toasty.

Yes, it is.

Yeah, just.

You guys have been chilling.

I've been like the only guy you've felt like for a while now.

Yeah.

It's like you were a little girl. No, we haven't filmed with anyone else other

than you since like 2020.

Since like we left our agency in like

February 2020.

No, no, no, no. I think it was 2021, February 2021.

Well, one of them's the 20s.

One of them. It's all blurring together.

It's all boring together.

But the one who left a long -lasting impression was

you. So we're just like, Alex is a really nice guy.

We'll keep going back.

We'll have some fun. I like where you guys visit.

I like where we visit, too.

What, um... Jay, what, like... Because I thought we probably talked about it a

little bit before.

Because you were, like, pretty much totally lesbian.

Yeah.

That's, like, my trademark.

You should just put it.

When was it, like, the first time that you were with a guy?

I can't remember.

Oh, my gosh.

Oh, it was Exploded College Girls.

That was legit?

Yeah. That was legit. That was legit.

That's wild. They label it virgin and you can't trust them, but that one

truthful. They find the virgin and they bring them there and

it's a sacrifice, bro.

She fucked me with a dildo like two or three days before that and that was the

first time that I had a dildo.

Really?

And so like you were 18, correct?

Yeah.

Yeah.

I don't know if I was 18 or 19 yet. I think I was 18 because when I came to

Florida, I was 18. Yeah, because you guys were both 18.

Yeah, we were both 18.

That's why, if you were 18, you'd never even have a dildo around. No.

Wow. We have some weak partners.

But, yeah, that was crazy.

We make this joke all the time that, um...

I'm straight, but the exception is Jade.

And Jade is lesbian, but the exception is you.

So.

So, like, who was the guy that you filmed for Exploited?

I think his name was, like, Jay or something. I don't remember.

Like, AJ or something like that.

Yeah, it was like JJ was his name on Twitter, but I don't actually remember

like his stage name.

How like, so that was your, yeah, I guess that was your first shoot. Uh

How did that like, did like Hazel or you like be like, oh, let's do it for him?

So.

Because you guys have been like what? You guys have been like dating for a few

years, right? No, we've been friends.

For a few years, and we started dating in 2019 in October. And then at the

beginning of 2020, she had been, she had

a... I had some sugar daddies. Yeah, she had a sugar daddy. And then she's like,

this is not enough.

So she signed up for sexyjobs .com. And then a recruiter, one of Brian's

recruiters, messaged her.

And then...

When he found out she was in a relationship, he was like, well, does

partner want to do it too?

And I was like, well, I don't want you to do it if I'm not doing it. So we got

that phone number.

I think I just said, like, fuck it. Yeah.

Well, yeah, kind of. It was kind of weird because he kind of felt creepy,

person, but he wasn't.

What, Brian?

No. The recruiter.

Oh, okay. Yeah.

A lot of those recruit guys are old.

They didn't recruit guys, they were agents.

Ryan was just an old man.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

So how, what was, what was that like, the, the school or college girls, like

fucking, where'd that go?

They pick you up at the airport in a car with the cameras on, with the cameras

on you and then do like a car blow job fingering thing and then you, Go back to

the hotel.

And even though they want you to leave, you have sex right when you get there,

you don't.

It's like the next day.

Mm -hmm. Oh, okay. But that one was cool because it was like... Yeah.

I don't remember.

It was like three years ago. You take this car with cameras to your hotel,

and then you meet the producer and all that stuff, and then you go to your

room, and then the next day...

you are shooting.

And they have you show up obviously super early in the morning because they

a makeup artist who does your makeup.

And then you start shooting and that's it.

But it was a cool experience because they were really nice people.

That's good.

Yeah, it's a really good shoot. Did you like actually like, did you like bleed

or anything?

No. No? No, it's a myth.

That's only in, like, anime porn.

I wouldn't say it is a myth. I don't know if it's a myth or not, but I

personally did not bleed. You think it's real?

When I was little, though, I did have an accident where I hurt myself.

On the monkey board? That's when it bled, but it didn't bleed when I had sex

the first time.

Did it, like, hurt a lot, or was it kind of like...

I would say that it kind of hurt at first, but he had an average to

small penis for a porn star.

So it kind of was just like, it was,

it didn't hurt after a minute, but it did at first.

Yeah.

So how many, how many like girls have you been with?

My whole life I've just dated women.

Yeah. How many, how many girls do you think?

Like 10?

30?

Um, in an actual, like, relationship that matters, only, like, three.

But, you know, you date people in high school and stuff.

So, probably, like, 15 or more.

And in a sexual sense?

Three. Including you.

Yeah.

She's like, I would bet you not.

Did I smile so good?

I don't know what position we'll need to go into. I don't want to walk. Yeah,

you can do that. Spread your legs a little bit.

That's the only thing you need to put in the toilet bowl or something.

I don't know if I want to follow you guys.

Maybe I should put my hair up.

Yeah, you get on top of that one.

Yeah, this one.

Thank you.

Thank you.

I don't know if you remember, Jade, why don't you go on top of it?

But like, like, like.

My face?

No, like, uh.

Like what? The same way she is?

You guys ever done that?

No. That's the first time I think.

Oh, I love your body.

Yeah, just try to get a little bit closer.

Yeah. Go a little bit more. Yeah, we're almost done.

Look at that. Good job, guys.

I don't

know.

Thank you.

I love you.

It's like a little jungle down. Yeah.

Yeah.

This is just normal sex.

Two girls.

Just normal.

This is just how it goes.

Married couple.

Want me to get up?

Yeah.

So,

hey, Lisa, you think you're like a little bit of like a cock?

Partially, yes.

I think so.

There's no partially about it. She is.

Do you like watching Jade do something?

Yeah, I would.

Jade doesn't indulge me, but... This is me indulging you. This is?

Does Hazel try to get you to fuck truckers and stuff?

No.

I don't know what she means by I don't indulge her. She's never brought it up.

I don't know.

Can you help me?

Yeah.

I didn't think it would be something that would be interesting.

I know.

Huh?

Hey, let's try to, uh, let's try, I'm gonna try to move.

let's see how it's been a while

Okay. I don't want to hurt you.

Yeah.

Okay.

It's a big bunch here.

Uh huh.

Oh shit.

Oh shit.

Oh wait, no, just next to it.

Oh my god.

It's okay.

Thank you.

Thank you.

future plans before or are you just chilling for now?

My brain's not working properly.

Let me think.

I want to go to New York in November.

Japan in March.

Philippines next November.

I want to make $10 ,000 a month.

Those are my big goals.

I just want to tattoo at my job.

Bro,

tattoo the sims.

The sims? I've been like, on OnlyFans, like, meet me at this hidden spot in

the tree.

And I'll tattoo you.

Meet me behind the haunted mansion in West Virginia.

Meet me in the basement.

Oh my God.

Oh my God.

snack for you

thank

you

so much thank you for having us be like we'll be back next

Oh, if you have us and if not, then concentrate.

We'll still just hang out. What the fuck? We gotta hang out. I know you

really like band and the beach and stuff, right? But we can go somewhere

I promise we can be good company.

I think the beach is cool. I just... Only if you're... If I was drunk.

I'm not supposed to drink anymore, so... Yeah. I think it's fine. I just... I

just like warm water.

I just... You get the liquid death. You get the...

There's all these people and their fan gets everywhere.

Yeah.

So a pool with warm water and I'm good. I'm Gucci.

Take a bath.

Take a bath?

Our bath is small.

I was thinking of replacing it with one of those big bathtubs. I can remodel

stuff like crazy.

Nice. Yeah.

You have to get a, you have to get a film on TLP.

TLP? Yeah.

I feel like, I feel like TLP is where people go to die.

Well.

No offense, TLC.

Some good shit on there, but... Yeah.

Always, always happy to be here.

Very happy to have you.

Very, very fun.

I hope you guys have lots of good luck on all your future adventures.

Future adventures, yes.

Yeah, and hopefully you get that car you want.

Yep. Well, he has it.

No, the white one. No, he has to mod it. Oh. He just has to mod it. Hopefully

it... Hopefully you can sell the one that you want to sell. Hopefully it's

perfect. Yeah.

After it's modded. And then I don't have to buy any cars ever again until I buy

a car again.

All right, guys. Thanks for watching. Bye -bye.