Original subtitles

Hello, my name's Kieran Lee.

You may recognise me from movies such as Say Hi to Your Husband for Me and I Am

Cock, but my real passion is history.

This 4th of July, Americans Everywhere will be celebrating Independence Day,

if you think you know the story behind the Declaration of Independence, think

again.

The year was 1772.

The signing of the Declaration of Independence was four years away, and

was a thriving colony, still living happily under the glorious patronage of

British Empire.

On this day, His Royal Majesty, King George III, was on his way to visit the

colonial leaders.

It was here that an incident occurred which would rock the British Empire to

core and change the course of history.

For God's sake, ladies, make yourselves presentable.

His Majesty, King George III, will be here any moment.

Will you put your cleavage away? We already got enough to worry about with

goddamn anthem monarch.

We don't need your principal bosom getting in the way.

Curses! I can't seem to find my wife. I haven't seen her anywhere.

No time to worry, old sport. Our king has arrived.

How wonderful it is to see you again.

Always a joy to visit the colonies.

Jefferson, isn't it?

Promise Jefferson, my lady. At your service, as always.

My wife, Martha.

It's an honor to finally meet you, Your Majesty.

I've heard so much about you from the other wives.

Of course you have.

Your Majesty, you do remember Thomas Paine.

An honor to see you again, Your Highness. Let me present to you my wife,

Elizabeth.

Oh dear, don't embarrass me. The King and I have already met.

Of course we have. How could I forget?

Of course, you've met our resident bookworm, John Adams.

Your Highness, and here's my wife, Abigail.

Eat lovelier than the next. What are you feeding your women in these colonies

that they should grow so healthily?

Ladies, why don't you go entertain yourselves while the men talk?

Of course.

And ladies, if you happen to see my wife, tell her she has some explaining

do.

And sweetheart, why don't you make us all some of your famous tea?

My pleasure.

Speaking of tea, what's this of a tea party I hear in the Boston Harbour?

Oh, it's nothing, Your Majesty.

Just a few illiterate buffoons who drank too much ale.

Troublemakers will be dealt with in short order. This I promise you.

Glad to hear it, Payne.

We won't let anything affect our relationship with Britain.

Yes. Yes.

Very good.

To another hundred years of brilliant patronage from the crown to the

Hear, hear!

Another echo from the mountain.

And now on to other matters.

Who's up for pot -humping?

Oh, yes, of course. Fuck yes.

If you would excuse me for a moment, gentlemen, I'd like to go freshen up.

But of course. Would you like me to show you to your room?

No, I'll be fine. I'll find it myself.

What a great king.

We are so lucky.

Did you see this coming?

Ladies, would you like to come out and pay tribute to your king?

Welcome back to the colonies, your highness.

Miss Franklin, there you are.

Isn't His Majesty happy to see these again?

Well, what are you waiting for?

Why don't you come into my room and shut the door behind you, my king?

Your Highness, it's been far too long since I felt your hands on my apple,

but... Oh,

yes.

Oh, that's it.

I've been waiting for you.

I'm becoming fleshed.

I must have your royal cock in my mouth.

it's been far too long your highness

That fucking royal cock.

Yes, your majesty.

I must leave.

We cannot draw suspicion.

I'm looking all over for you.

Have you been hiding from us, Your Highness?

You're already hard.

Well, of course, Abigail Adams.

Everyone knows a king can't resist a good pair of flip -flops.

Please, Your Highness.

You've been waiting for you to come visit us again, King.

We haven't seen you in months, Georgie.

Please, lady.

I have been...

What important matters to attend to? Oh, come on. What could be more important

than getting your cock sucked?

like having the king's cock in your...

His cock is so small.

King Georgie, he's high up at all.

A nice big king cock.

You can do whatever you want to your subject. Come on. Come on.

Benjamin.

There you are, Your Majesty.

Tell me, have you seen my wife? I can't find that bloody twit anywhere.

I'm afraid not, Adams.

It's Franklin, Your Majesty. Benjamin.

Why, she's in there.

Oh, no, no, Betty Boy.

Yes? Now tell me about your wonderful experiment.

Oh, it all happened on this one scary stormy night.

It was quite amazing, actually.

I was in the...

Come here, my lead.

I'm sure you'll see, here in the colonies, we have the best foxes of

the world.

Oh, you're right, your highness.

You look a bit faint.

Yeah, it's just a tad tired, Jefferson.

I'm sure I'll be right as rain in the morning.

Perhaps I should take the tea up to your highness' room.

Wait.

No, that's fine.

What you need is a nice cup of tea and some rest.

Ah, yes.

Your highness?

My wife makes the best tea in all 13 palanins.

I'll leave it.

I'll leave it next to your bed.

Well, gentlemen, perhaps I should retire for the afternoon.

As you wish, Your Highness.

Also, please, not just...

It's quite strange.

I mean, it's still early out.

It's very weird.

Maybe you go to bed early.

What about that fox hunting?

Oh, yes.

Capital idea.

We've been waiting for you, Your Majesty.

Now let's see what all the fuss is about.

I'm going to give him your titties. I'm going to give him your titties.

Are you ready to see his nice big claws?

I've only heard rumors.

So fucking big.

You get first taste on it.

Make that fucking cock grow in your slutty fucking mouth.

Good.

Oh, that's a good little fucking whore.

Oh, yes.

Oh, don't lie about that.

Yeah, there you go. Suck that fucking dick.

Yes. Oh, my God.

Oh, that turns me on so much.

Watch your fucking sex.

oh yeah get these fucking

pants down

This is your first time at the King's Big Buggy Pod. Enjoy that big dick.

I'm the king.

Oh, my God.

Oh,

my God.

He's in the big bag.

Like our fucking king's boss. Give him the royal treatment.

Sit on it.

Amen.

Yes, that's good.

I got pissed off.

That's good.

This cock has made cock holes of us.

I'm the king.

It's my right.

Equal rights for all. Special privileges for none.

We will not be governed by lewd tyrants.

We demand a government of laws, not of men.

Come, my brothers. We will rise up against England. For the harder the

the more glorious the triumph.

Independence.

We will seek our independence from this lecherous toad. Wait.

Can't we discuss this?

An American nation.

free of the yoke of tyranny, based on the pursuit of life, liberty, and

happiness. Yes!

And so began the long, arduous road to American

independence.

Of course, this incident has been removed from the American history books.

Who knows?

If the king had not fought the wife of the founding fathers, the United

States... may have remained under the patronage of Great Britain, but it

to be.

And here we are celebrating the birthday of the greatest country in the world.

Happy Independence Day, America.