Original subtitles

Thanks for letting me stay with you guys for a couple days.

You know, Tyler's been drinking again, and I just can't be around

that anymore.

I'm scared.

Why do you keep going back to him?

I hope he doesn't plan on coming to the wedding.

Nah.

Even when he's sober, he's never really into all that family shit.

You're my stepsister, and you're maid of honor. I'm here to help you guys. I'm

not here to get in the way.

Eric, stop.

I'm on the phone with my sister.

Hi, Jane.

Hey, future brother -in -law.

We'll see you soon.

At the wedding, right?

No, I'm actually going to come over and help you guys. I'm about to be on my way

right now.

Actually, it is a good idea.

I'll see you guys soon.

Okay.

I guess it's not really a surprise.

You too.

How was the drive out?

You know, it wasn't too bad.

I'm just happy to be here now.

But I just want to say thank you guys for letting me stay here again.

No problem. That's what family is for.

I'll just be sure to...

Barton on your life four days before you get married, whenever that happens,

okay? Consider me like your personal assistant, okay? I'll handle

everything for you with the wedding, and you can just give me your phone and

relax.

Actually, I downloaded this wedding planner app. You'd be really proud of

I used technology, and it found me a wedding dress.

It booked a caterer. It found a DJ. It sends me reminders. It sets

All I have to do is open it up and check in. Can it get married for you?

Do you even need to go to the wedding, Joanna?

Look, you'd be proud.

I have been sending text messages with actual messages in them. They don't just

say, call me.

I'm slowly catching up to your generation.

You're only 10 years older. Don't act like such a grandma.

I appreciate you rounding down.

That's very sweet.

Well, why don't you just give me your phone?

I can take care of everything, Joanna. Just let me do it. It's the least I

do.

I have to pick up my dress. I have to get the cake and all of the code they're

in there. I have to make a playlist. No, Joanna, you need to go to the spa,

okay? Just stop trying to control everything.

I got it. I just, I want you to enjoy being a bride.

Okay, please.

Well, that actually does sound kind of nice.

Are you sure I can trust you?

Yes. Come on.

Well, you make yourself comfortable on my finest couch for you to crash on.

I'm actually supposed to go meet Aaron. We are going to go on one last date.

as boyfriend and girlfriend at the same bar that we met at.

That is so romantic, Joanna.

Well, I'll just get started on my maid of honor responsibilities.

Hey, I paid $4 .99 for that app. Let it do some of the work for you.

Oh, don't worry.

I know exactly what to do.

So, I think the blue and our romantic evening that

Jane at the house, she came to do with us.

So tell me, why is she staying with us again?

I don't know. She's stuck. She has nowhere to go. She's a shitty boyfriend.

I can't think of her name.

I know how that goes.

I didn't even realize you guys were still on speaking terms.

It's hard to keep track.

Yeah. Well, forgive and forget.

But that is all that.

And she's a changed person now.

Whatever you say.

They are having problems and I just don't know if the wedding is going to

happen. Yeah, we're going to have to cancel the cake.

No more cake.

Hey. Hi.

Oh, my God, Aaron.

Wow.

Are you excited to be a part of the family?

I'm excited to stop planning a wedding, that's for sure.

Well, you don't have to plan it anymore.

I'm doing it now, so you can just not worry about it.

No,

Joanna's got it. It's totally fine.

Yeah,

so me and her talked about this before.

She took my phone and she's going to...

Check in with all my appointments and handle all my responsibilities so I

have to think about anything.

And I can just focus on being a bride.

She's like a real maid of honor. Isn't that a great idea?

No.

That's fucking terrible. Are you kidding me? You've been planning this for a

year and you're just going to let some runaway come in and take control out of

nowhere and fucking... Hey!

I can hear you, first of all.

Second of all, calm the fuck down about it, okay?

Like, Joanna, she's been there for me for my entire life, okay? When my own

left me.

As far as I can even remember, she's been there for me.

And I understand that I just came uninvited.

And maybe it's not the best time, but I... Yeah, you could say that.

Can you please, please just let me do something nice for the person that I owe

my life to?

Please.

Just let her have this.

Everything's already set up in the app.

So what's the worst that can happen?

I'm not answering that.

You know, it gets like this sometimes.

I don't take it personally.

Why don't you, um, get to bed?

You've had a long day.

And I

just want to

say, again, thank you for...

Everything that you've done for me.

And I really appreciate it. I mean it.

Of course.

No problem.

Good morning.

Good morning.

You may kiss the bride, but I know you'll be thinking about fucking me.

Stop it, Jane.

What? You know it should be me and you at that altar.

You're going to be there anyway. You somehow suckered your way into being a

of honor.

So why don't you do the honorable thing?

Put some clothes on.

You can't tell me you never think about it. That was one night.

You don't want your bride -to -be to hear us, do you?

Come here.

Stop it.

Good morning.

You know, I have to admit, this whole thing with you taking away my phone and

handling everything has been great.

I feel like we've been living in wedding planning hell, like, the last year and

a half, and I just feel so relaxed. So, thank you.

Yeah, you're welcome. I mean, everything is under control. The cake is being

delivered directly to the venue tomorrow, and somehow I was able to talk

into doing it.

And the flowers are being delivered, and everything is good.

Flowers. I didn't order any flowers. Did you order flowers?

That wasn't in our budget.

Yeah, that's what I do behind your back, is order flowers.

Well, you're constantly spending money on a bunch of excessive shit, so why

would this be any different?

Excessive?

If you think that me spending my money on shit for me that doesn't benefit you,

that's excessive, then yeah, yeah.

Sorry, guys. My bad. I was totally thinking of a different wedding that I

to a month ago.

Really pretty flowers there.

Flowers or not, I'm just really happy to be spending the rest of my life

with someone I love.

That's important, right?

Yeah.

So, you know, Jane, I should really go with you to pick up the dress. If they

have to make any alterations, it would probably be a good idea. I got measured

so long ago for that thing. I have to see if it still fits. Oh, no, Joanna.

If they do need to do alterations, they're going to charge you out the ass

last minute. I'll just do it with my sewing kit, okay?

I got you an appointment at the West Valley Spa.

I just want you to go and enjoy yourself and relax.

I have everything under control.

I promise.

Thank you.

You know, one day you will find somebody very

special to share your life with.

And you'll be as happy as I am.

I could only hope.

Why don't you just relax?

Come to the spa with me. We could get a couple's massage.

I have to work.

So, you didn't take off this week like you promised me. I didn't want a big

fucking wedding.

I would have been happy with going to the courthouse on my lunch break,

it done, and moving on with our lives.

You wanted this.

And now what? I'm supposed to work overtime so I can afford this charade of

love's supposed to be?

What is so wrong with wanting a romantic fucking wedding?

It wasn't about romance.

It was so you could have some photos to post on your profile.

So you could prove to yourself and all your friends that you finally graduated

from having a fucked up family.

It's not...

Just make sure you don't let your past fuck up your future.

She's fine.

Everything's fine.

Whatever you say.

I do.

I do.

I do.

Here,

you got everything?

I literally passed nothing.

This is really not like... Yes, I have everything I told you. I have your

wedding dress, I have three options for the rehearsal dinner, I got comfy

clothes, and I even packed your prettiest lingerie that I found for

wedding.

The best.

Thank you.

Shotgun! Are you kidding me? No, I'm not.

You taught me this game ten years ago. Don't hate on the fact that I'm better

it now than you are.

Okay. Really, Jane?

The bride in the back seat.

She called shotgun.

We've always taken this game really seriously.

Okay, let's go.

Joanna?

Are you awake?

Joanna?

She's always been such a heavy sleeper.

We're almost here.

Let the shit show begin.

Well, I don't know about you, but I'm excited for this wedding.

Stop it.

Jane!

Come on.

Just one last time before you're a married man.

Like that's ever stopped you before?

Well, it might.

For a little while.

Oh.

Why is the cake canceled?

Why are all these people calling?

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. No.

Don't act like you didn't know.

It's so fucking obvious, Joanna.

You know, the whole time he's been with you, he's been in love with me.

You're so oblivious. I'm not in love with you.

I'm not in love with you.

What? I'm not in love with either of you. You are both out of your fucking

minds, and I'm tired of being a pawn in this game.

You don't exactly look tired of it right now. You seem to be enjoying your...

All supposed to get along like a happy family.

Why don't you fuck us both? Don't push me. Like you already have been.

And make a fucking decision of who you want to be with.

You know what? Suck his fucking cock.

Suck his cock.

I know you don't think you're as good as me.

But I'm not right.

I'm not fucking worried.

I'm not fucking worried, Joanna.

Here, take it.

I don't mind sharing with you. I love charity.

Is that what you want? Is that what you like?

Is that what you fucking want?

Yes, fuck.

you actually cook the cheese.

Show me what your face looks like. Look right in her eye.

Fucking whore.

you wanted.

You've been fucking doing. So fucking show me your top. Come on.

Oh, fuck yes.

Fuck you. Fuck you.

Jesus.

I know what I want.

I know what I fucking want.

I want you to fuck both of us at the same time.

I want you to fuck both of us. I want you to fuck both of us. I

want you to fuck both of

us.

Why don't you guys hold each other we're family

Hope you're out.

I forgive you.

You guys made up yet?

I guess it finds out when all this is over.

Watch him fuck me. Watch him fuck you. Yes. Yes.

Yes.

Oh, my God. Yes.

Oh, my God.

Yes.

Oh,

my God. Yes. Oh, my God.

Yes. Oh, my God. Yes. Oh, my God.

Yes.

like that. I guess I was wrong.

I mean, that's fucking...

Yes. Oh, my God, yes.

Fuck, yes.

I love

you.

Come on, come on, come on, come on.

You can't go inside.

Give it to me. Me?

No, give it to me. Give it to me. Give me that fucking gun.

Give me that fucking gun.

It's mine.

It's mine.

It's mine.

So who are you picking?

I've made my decision.

You two deserve each other.

I'm not picking either of you. You guys are fucking crazy.

I'm out of here.

What?