Original subtitles

Do you like them?

Hey, I think they're wonderful.

Well you have 'em, then.

Here, like it?

What you think I'm standing here for?

Just for fun?

And here it is, today's bargains.

A work of art.

I just like you to, examine the craftsmanship.

I'm telling you, that your money is better invested in this,

than it is in the repositories in the Bank of England.

Now I'm not gonna ask you no favour,

nor yet I'm not going to give it to you for nothing.

I'm going to ask you a fair price,

for a priceless work of art.

Half a dollar.

Now you sir.

Take one home to to the wife.

Or perhaps the girlfriend, hey?

I tell you what up better still, you be a sport.

Take one home for both. - Load of old Rubbish.

C'mon. - Watch it law!

Oh very funny.

There's nothing I like better than a humorous joke.

Bleeding kids.

Oh, I like that colour, it's awfully nice.

Wotcher, Mother Hitchens.

I'm not your mother, Herbie Shadbolt.

And never could be.

Thank the Lord.

Here!

That boy gets worse everyday.

I forbid my Alf, to go with him anymore.

I should think so, an all.

Nothing but trouble, that family.

Yeah, the whole lot of 'em.

Here, how's your Cyril?

Bleached here?

No, thanks dear.

Two nine please.

Is he working?

Oh don't talk to me about Cyril.

He'll be the death of me, I'm telling you.

Why what's he been up to?

Oh, he's one of them, down the bomb lot.

You heard anything like it?

He's got one of them ridiculous half grown beards,

stretching from ear to ear.

And all he ever does, is sit in his bedroom,

reading out a load of that Partree rubbish.

It's driving me potty.

Oh, it's probably just a passing craze.

Yeah.

What does Bert say about it?

He's no son of mine. That's what he says.

Oh, and what does he mean by that?

Well he reckons, that when I was in the hospital,

after having Cyril, they give me the wrong baby, by mistake.

Oh don't he talk bloody ridiculous.

Cause, that's what I told him, there's no mistaking them.

Now take their earlobes, to begin with.

Cyrils got Bert's earlobes all over.

What? All over?

Yeah, look at that will ya.

It's Romeo, and whatever his sucky tarts name was.

After you mate with Cleopatra

Thanks love. - Thank you.

That'll be one and three, dear - Ta

Hello there. You seen Alf?

Nah.

Perhaps he's found himself a decent bird at last.

Should've known better than to ask you, shouldn't I?

Your all mouth and trousers.

C'mon Lil, we don't want people to think we were with him.

What Alf sees in that silly bird, I'll never know.

Drop dead Shadbolt, and give the world a treat.

Very fair.

Do you think so?

Yeah.

You know what she wants, don't ya?

Yeah.

Wouldn't do it a favour.

Want one?

I was over Chambos this morning he's got a load of bike pumps,

so I wanna know, if you was interested in buying any?

No, I don't wanna know about it. No.

It's all good gear.

I can't handle this you know.

People coming here with bits of...

You'll have to take this card to the National Assistance Board.

The National Assistance Board!

You have to take this...

The National...

Do you speak English?

Hurry up man, we ain't got all day.

Just got him off the banana boat.

Look I'll come to you in a minute,

just be patient, and get back in line, will you?

My life! It's getting worse every week. - Yeah

The whole place has gone down the pan, innit?

Definitely.

d Our local labour exchange has gone to wreck and ruin. d

d Cause there's so many new blokes signing on each week. d

d And most of them just don't know what they doing. d

d Cause, you can't understand the languages they speak. d

d Oh, it's getting like the U.N assembly meetings, d

d With each fella out to make a couple of bob. d

d Our local labour exchange has gone to wreck and ruin. d

d So we reckon we'll have to find ourselves a job. d

d They're talking filthy, diabolical liberties. d

d They're flocking in, as though they own the place. d

d And the bloke behind the counter's getting worried. d

d The smile is disappearing from his face. d

d But it's really spoilt it for us regular patrons. d

d We have to queue for hours to get our weekly lob. d

d Our local labour exchange has gone to wreck and ruin. d

d So we reckon we'll have to find ourselves a job. d

d Oh, I think, I'll start a layabouts trade union. d

d So we can stand, together for our rights. d

d And if they don't never give us satisfaction. d

d There'll be nothing left for us to do, but strike. d

d Now I'm searching for another source of income. d

d I ain't fussy if it means, beg, loan or rob. d

d Our local labour exchange has gone to wreck and ruin. d

d So we reckon we'll have to find ourselves a job. d

d What's happened to those peaceful, Friday mornings? d

d A quiet smoke, with all the local boys. d

d When we used the time to fill in our false coupons. d

d Now we can't concentrate there's too much noise. d

d Oh I'll tell you, that it really is heart breaking. d

d It makes you feel like sitting down to sob. d

d Our local labour exchange has gone to wreck and ruin. d

d So we reckon we'll have to find ourselves a job. d

d So we reckon we'll have to find ourselves a job. d

d But we don't want one. d

d We reckon we'll have to find ourselves a job. d

Bleeding kids.

Didn't see Alf about in there.

Nah. He's probably been and gone ain't he.

Unless his old man's having another go at him.

And what's more, I'm getting bleeding fed up with

having you, hanging about the house all day long.

About time you found yourself a job, you could keep for more than five minutes.

Instead of all this gallivanting around, trying to be a playboy, or something.

Messing about, with silly little bits of tarts.

Alright, alright, you'll get on anyone's nerves, moaning all the time.

I think I got a right to moan.

How old are ya?

Getting on for eighteen, and look at ya.

laying about like a old age pensioner.

Like the rest of these yobs you hang around with.

A lot of you could do with a bar of soap each.

And get a bloody haircut.

Your beginning to look like a right pansy.

Oh give it a rest will ya.

Rest?

You were born with that word in your mouth.

Rest.

You ain't done a full weeks work since you left school a couple of years ago.

Excuses.

That's all you got. Excuses. And more excuses.

You think me and your mother supposed to keep you forever?

After working our fingers to the bone, to bring you up.

I'll get something.

You'll get something alright. If you go one like this much longer.

I want done with ya.

What's the matter with you lot these days.

And put that comic down when I'm talking to you!

You seem to think the world owes you something.

When I was a kid.

Here we go again.

When I was a kid, we didn't have it as easy as you got it nowadays.

We didn't have none of these, Hydrogen bombs.

And band of bomb marches and all what got now.

That's your Dads

Sometimes we didn't even have a enough grub on the table for all of us.

Are you leaving that?

They'll go mad for that in China.

Bread and dripping was all we had.

And lucky to get it.

Hang about I'll get me violin and give you a bit of accompaniment.

You'll get the back of my hand across your face, if you aren't careful.

Do you want more tea?

You ain't talking to your street corner yobbos now, you know.

Well he's always on about when he was a kid,

things have changed a bit since then you know.

Things have changed alright, you all want something for nothing these days.

And when I was a kid,

If we wanted something, we had to work for it, a bloody

sight harder than you work in your life, mate.

Yeah, and just look where it's got ya.

Right.

That is it.

That is it.

I'm telling ya.

Either you gets yourself a job, or out you go.

I mean it.

Here, here's tonight's paper. You look through that and find yourself something.

And don't crease the sports page, I wants to read it, for work out the dogs.

I've just about had enough of you and your shenanigans.

Sam, leave him alone.

Oh, by the way.

Where's your precious little Joey?

After six again, and the little git still ain't home.

You wait till he comes rolling in.

I've heard some right nice things about him today.

Here, why don't you look where you're going?

Why don't you shut your face?

I'll tell your mother on you, I will.

Ohh, pest of a kid

A merry evening, to one and all.

Where do you think you been?

School finishes half past four, don't it?

Been round me mates house, you don't get moaned at round there.

Ah, don't you get saucy.

I've had enough with this one here, without your contributions.

Now.

Who is this Elsie Morcambe?

Don't ask me, never heard of her.

Well that's funny. That is funny.

Cause she's heard of you. And so has her old man.

He comes round me works this afternoon. We had a nice little chat.

All about you.

And his little girl.

What about his little girl?

Well, it a be as if this here, Elsie Morcambe, and your little boy,

have been having,

afternoons off from school together, for who knows how long.

Had a rare old time with her father and his suggestions as to what they've been up to.

Nearly ended up with me punching him to mouth.

Big headed nickle. I could have had him over

What happened then, Sam?

This geezer said, he's had the school board round,

asking what kept his little girl away

from her lessons in the afternoon.

When he asked his little Elsie,

who should be the Romeo of the piece, but our darling little boy.

Oh, don't break his heart cruel father, he's suffered enough.

You'll suffer in a minute.

I don't think it very funny either.

Lord knows what the pair of them have been up to.

Well then Sam, what's gonna happen now?

Her old man ain't gonna take it any farther.

But I can promise you one thing,

you better come straight home from school in future my boy,

else you'll get the tanning of your life.

Right where you're turning hard.

What you need is a damn good hiding.

Well why don't you give him one then? Instead of just talking about it.

You're just as bad as they are.

I've a damn good mind to.

Right here and now.

Anyone would think I done a crime or something.

You probably have.

You can thank me for getting you out of it.

And how long has all this been going on?

I say good luck to him.

Best time to learn is when you're young, innit?

Now don't start taking his part.

It's obvious he don't need any encouragement from you.

I'm going out.

Joey. This is your final warning.

Don't you dare move a step outside of this house tonight.

Alf, you look though that paper and find yourself something, else you know what.

I don't understand you kids.

Why can't you find yourself something worthwhile to do.

Like what? Greyhound racing?

We gotta have our little bit of pleasure too, you know.

What about your exams this year?

I can't see you pass at anything, if this is the way you been carrying on.

You'll end up a layabout, like your brother.

Do you think that bothers me?

They can do what they like, with their stupid exams.

We don't want any bother now, do we?

No we don't want no trouble, we just want our money back.

Now look fellas, think of it, from my point of view.

To give everybody their money back, I'd have to close the place, wouldn't I?

Yeah.

Well then you couldn't come in here, could you?

No.

You wouldn't like that would ya? - No.

No, well I mean you'll have to make up your mind,

what would you rather have, eh?

Our money back. - Yeah

Them machines are definitely fixed mate. You must be making a packet.

Suppose I give you all a free go.

Turn him over.

No! Well how much then?

Three and six.

Three and six? You're out of your mind? you've only just come in here,

how could you have spent Three and six?

I was here last night, weren't I?

Yeah. I saw ya.

And the night before that?

Yeah, that's right.

Two bob. - Shilling.

And sixpence a piece.

Ah, look be reasonable fellas.

Lets turn him over.

Alright, yea.

When you've finished that, I want you to wash the things up for me.

I've got to go out tonight.

Oh me again? Why can't somebody else do it for a change?

Because I'm telling you, that's why.

Where you going then? Bingo again?

Yeah, you don't mind do you?

Blimey, I reckon you'd sleep down there, if you had half a chance.

Anyway, why can't Doris wash the things up?

It's a woman's job, if you can call her a woman.

Now don't talk about your sister like that.

Wouldn't be fair to ask her after a long days work.

She's never in any bother.

She's a good girl to me.

Good girl. Cor blimey, I can tell you a few things about her,

and that twit she brings home at night,

when you're all in bed.

Now shut up Alf. I don't wanna know any tales.

You just do what you're told, and don't bother about other peoples business.

I gotta go now.

Tell Doris when she comes in, her tea's in the oven.

A woman's work is never done.

Here Mum,

lend us half a dollar will you?

That's a joke innit? Lend us?

Come on.

I ain't even got a fag, anyway.

Give it back to you Friday, when I get me Dole, straight up.

Oh Lord knows why I do these things.

I must be mad.

Oh, and I don't want that Herbie Shadbolt round here.

That boy's a troublemaker.

You know you're being told to stay away from him.

Give us one then.

It's me last one, straight up, Alf.

Always is, innit.

Oh, here you are then.

What's up with you, then?

I've gotta hurry. Freddie will be round at seven.

Where's Mum?

Clickety click.

Again?

Don't tell me, we got that creep in here again tonight?

I could see me laying one his chops, the way he carries on.

Jealousy, will get you nowhere.

Yeah, I'm sure, I'm jealous of that stuck up burk.

Here.

And if he comes anymore lip with me,

like he did the other night, he will be stuck up.

Right up against the wall, and me kicking his head in.

Your tea's in the oven, and Mother said wash those things up for her.

Anyway, when Lord Frederick comes a calling,

you can take him straight to your room.

You'll find it more comfortable in there, than in the old parlour there, won't she?

Keep our mouths shut, won't we.

For a couple Bob.

Is that all you think of?

No, cause it ain't. I think of other things as well don't I.

Like a punch up, with drippy witch.

Cor blimey, I must say he got a marvelous taste in birds.

Still I suppose he gets what he wants.

Why don't you shut your face.

d Brothers. d

d Why have I been cursed with these two brothers? d

d When other peoples ones are seen, of being good mannered. d

d Smart and clean. d

d This scrubby little twosome, seem quite positively gruesome. d

d Brothers. Brothers. d

d It's very true, some Mothers really have 'em. d

d And I'll bet you, Mum and Dad, now regret the day they had, my two brothers. d

d Sister. Sister. d

d Every fella down the street, has kissed her. d

d And they all boast about it. Yes, you can hear them shout it. d

d Shes a goer. d

d Brothers. Brothers. d

d Filthy minded, nasty horrid brothers. d

d Slimy, sly and sneaky. d

d Crafty and so cheeky. d

d A scruffy little pair with, dirty necks and greasy hair. d

d That's my brothers. Brothers. d

d There can't be any worse, than my two brothers. d

d And I'll bet you Mum and Dad, now regret the day they had, my two brothers. d

d Brothers. - Sister. d

d Brothers. - Sister. d

d There can't be any worse, than my two brothers. d

d And I'll bet you Mum and Dad d

d Now regret the day they had, my two brothers. d

d Sister. Sister. d

d When they added beauty up, they missed her. d

d But though it sounds a pity. d

d She really is quite pretty. d

d Pretty ugly. d

Ready for Freddie?

I kept it hot for you, Fred.

Oy Alf.

Where you been?

What's the matter then Alfie boy? You look proper cheesed.

Ah, Nothing much, the old man's been onto me again, ain't he.

Told me to get meself a job or hes chucking me out.

Anyone down your drum?

Do leave off, we ain't got hardly no room now.

And me old man gets out next month.

God knows where he's gonna fit in.

Here, what's he gonna do when he finds out your old

ladies been having it away with the lodger?

I don't think he cares, two shakes of his walking stick.

That old nackety chops is getting worried.

Only have to mention the old man's name and ask us to lend me a few bob

and he can't get it out of his wallet fast enough.

Got half a sheet of him the other night.

Yeah? Very fair.

Here Alf.

What's that then?

It weren't half a scream with him the other night.

Why, what happened?

He's only come flashed with me ain't he.

So I turned around, and I stuck one right on him.

My life, the old woman's gone potty, cause I landed one on her luncheon voucher

Attendant.

I saw you with the wheel, doing all this.

Attendant Alright, I'm coming.

How did you get on in court, the other day?

Oh, I got ain't got to go, till next week.

I ain't bothered, Am I.

Do you know what, I thought my family was bad enough,

but we ain't got nothing on your lot.

Yeah. Your dead right there. What a mob.

d Me father's doing, five years. Me grandad's doing ten. d

d Me cousin came out just last week, now he's back in again. d

d Me uncle's just got six month. For petty larceny. d

d Oh what a family. d

d His gran got caught shoplifting. d

d They carted her away. d

d She went up, before the judge. Only yesterday. d

d When he put her on probation. d

d The old girl danced with glee. d

d Oh what a family. d

d His sister runs a teenage gang, with members by the score. d

d And they all use his cellar, as a hideout, from the law. d

d His brother goes out screwing, in his big flash car. d

d He sure knows what he's doing, cause he ain't been caught so far. d

d He's his mothers pride and joy, and a real hard-knock is he. d

d Oh what a family. d

d So it was left for me to carry on, the family name. d

d But I got nicked the other night. Oh what a rotten game. d

d Me case is coming up next week. Before the juvenile court. d

d The only thing, they're waiting for is a psychiatrist report. d

d They wonder why I've gone astray, but the reason's plain to see. d

d Oh what a family. d

What a bleeding mob!

d Oh what a family. d

Hey! Bleeding kids.

Hey, come out of it.

How's Marilyn missed your big day then?

Oh well, she's getting on my wig, ain't she.

When I sent her a form, she had to go through to

get her to take her to pictures or something.

My love, it's murder, innit?

Thinking of chucking her in then?

Yeah. Go fancy a change of clomper.

Trouble is though I'm work broke, ain't I?

No birds gonna stay over you conning 'em straight away, are they?

Gotta have a few bob at the kick off ain't ya?

Yeah. That's more than true.

What you get up to labour?

Thirty blinking bob, that's all they give me,

I mean, it ain't worth the bob hanging about for, is it?

Yeah, your turning in the tea, AI.

Wotcher, girls.

I'm here!

Very nice - I like your dress, dear

Come on over here

What's the hurry?

Seven teas gov. On the slate, pay ya Friday.

Which Friday?

I'll make a lot of money if I go on doing this won't I.

You're a great bloomin' idiot

Hello, Alf.

Wotcher, Mel.

Ain't seen you around much lately. Where you been?

Been around, ain't I.

With him I suppose.

What if I have.

I can't see why you hang about with him. He's nothing but trouble.

I keep telling you, there's nothing the matter with Herbie.

And if I wanna hang about with him I'll hang about with him.

What about his mum and dad then?

His old man and his old lady, they ain't got nothing to do with him.

Maybe so, but it gives them a bad name out here don't it?

So?

So, people will think you're the same.

Why do I care what people think?

They don't give me nothing, do they?

Tea's up you lot.

All you seem to do is argue.

It ain't me, it's you.

I don't run your mates down, do I?

I don't say to you, don't go with Cathy Jones or whatever her name is.

Cause her old mans in the bill, and he's old woman's

having it off with another fella, while he's gone do I?

It don't bother me who you go with.

That's silly

None of my friends are like that.

Yeah, we ought to feel sorry for him,

not keep running him down all the time.

He can't help how things are, can he?

Well, I'm only thinking of you.

Don't want you to think of me.

Ain't married yet, you know.

Alright then, I'm sorry.

But when am I gonna see you?

Seeing me now, ain't ya?

You just don't seem bothered lately, I don't know how to take you.

You make me feel like I'm running after you all the time.

Just the way I am, innit.

Can't help if it's who I am, can I?

You weren't like that, when I first knew you.

Well I'm older now.

What, three months?

A lot can happen in three months.

Yeah, like meeting up with Herbie Shadbolt.

Cor blimey, the way you keep on about him, I reckon you must fancy him, or something.

I hate you, Alfred Hitchens.

d I hate Alfred Hitchens. d

d That conceited Alfred Hitchens. d

d He always seems to treat me like it's one big game. d

d I'm better off without him. d

d Can't stand anything about him. d

d I even hate each single letter of his name. d

d A, he is artful. d

d And I is the place, I wish he'd go. d

d F, is for foolish, a word that I think you all know. d

d R, he makes me see red. d

d E, he's got a swollen 'ead. d

d D, he is dense, and he ain't got no sense. d

d H, he is heartless. d

d And I, I am sure he's insane. d

d T, he's a tearaway, terribly idle and vain. d

d C, likes to see me cry. d

d H, leaves me high and dry. d

d E, every N, I tease every S, always scores me the same. d

d Yes, H, he is horrid. d

d And I, I'm the one he's horrid to. d

d T, tried to teach him, that he ought be always true. d

d C, he don't care for me, H, won't turn a hair for me. d

d E, he is end, N, no good. S, until he left with no scare. d

d But I can't forget him. d

d And I never will. d

d No I can't forget him. d

d And I never will. d

Stupid bird.

She wanna make her mind up.

Oh, c'mon girls.

Where you going then?

They all the same ain't they.

Get nothing off them anyway.

C'mon let's go.

Yeah. C'mon.

We're not gonna hang around, with that lot.

Load of old scrubbers. The lot of 'em.

Fancy getting a round at pictures Harry?

Yeah, might as well, anyone else fancy it? - Yeah anyone else fancy it

Nah.

See you all then.

See you then. - Ta da.

Ta da.

See ya.

Well you lot stopping here all night, or are you coming?

There ain't nowhere to go, is there?

Except down the old dance hall, and there's only records on tonight.

Yeah.

No birds get down, when it's just records, do they?

No, there's a great group on tonight.

Frantic Freddie, and the Screaming Dreamers.

They great.

C'mon let's go. We'll have a giggle.

Before there was a any decent talent about.

Usually it's a waste of time though, innit?

Well I got an idea,

I'm gonna end up with a right little darling tonight.

I can feel it in me marrow.

That's what you say every time we go down there.

No I mean it tonight, straight up.

What?

Do me a favour, you don't stand a chance

Lets face it.

The birds definitely going, for the fellas with the experience.

Do leave off, I've had more birds, than you lot have had hot dinners.

Nearest you've ever come to a bird, is a boiled egg mate.

The truth if the matter is, I don't have to run after the women now.

I just let them come to me.

Oh right then ma'am.

Tonight you can show us how it's done. Can't he?

Yeah. Go on.

Bleeding kids.

Would you like a pass out my dear? - Oh yes please.

Thank you.

Hello darling.

That'll be three and six, each.

We just been out for a drink.

Got your pass outs?

We lost 'em.

That'll be three and six, each.

We ain't paying again, mate.

Then you ain't going in, mate.

Let's turn him over.

I'm sorry lads. No pass outs, no re-admission.

You'll have to pay again.

They're to be paid in the first place.

Ah, come on, I'm not hanging about here all day.

Sounds like a decent group on in here an' all.

# See them running on a ten mile heat. Roo Bah. Roo Bah

# Around the race track and repeat. Wo ho, Roo bah bay.

# I'll put my money on the bobtail nag Roo bah, Roo bah

# It ain't my money on the horse you buy Whoa, Roo bah bay.

# I don't care

# Gonna twist all night. Gonna twist all day.

# And if we don't make money, gonna have some fun twisting the night away.

# We're gonna twist all night. Gonna twist all day.

# And if we don't make money, gonna have some fun, twisting the night away.

# Twisting the night away.

# Twisting the night,

# Away!

Right kids, let's all get swinging now with, Sally Anne.

# Give me your love, Sally Anne.

# Say I'm your number one man.

# Sally Anne.

# I love you. Yes I do, oh so true.

# Tell me you care, Sally Anne.

# Think of the dreams we can share, Sally Anne.

# Oh you thrill me, like no one else can.

# Cause you've got a way of walking, you've got a way of talking.

# Cute way of looking, at me.

# You've got a way about you. Just can't live without you.

# My love for you, will go on endlessly.

# So give me your heart, Sally Anne.

# Vow not to part, Sally Anne.

# I'm your man, I love you.

# Yes I do, oh so true.

# Cause you've got a way of walking, you've got a way of talking.

# Cute way of looking, at me.

# You've got a way about you, I just can't live without you.

# My love for you, will go on endlessly.

d So give me your heart, Sally Anne.

d And vow not to part, Sally Anne. I'm your man, I love you. d

# Yes I do, oh so true.

See anything you can fancy then, Herb?

Nah.

But there's some geezer over there, screwing me something rotten.

Hang about, I'll have him.

Screw me? Flash little git.

What's happened, John? You want bother?

What you on about mush?

I don't rate fellas screwing me.

Watch it. Or you'll have this right between your ear holes.

Come on Herb, he's dead chicken ain't he.

Here, cop that over there, right little darling.

That's a bit of form.

Is she on her own?

No fella, she's got her mate with her though, that's her mate over there.

My eyesight,

look at the state of that, an a price of fish.

Come on Herb, we'll be on the firm, with these two.

Right, I book the darling then.

Oh no turn it up, she fancies me, straight up,

you should've seen the way she was clocking me just now.

Well I'm sure, I ain't cutting a bride of Frankenstein.

Oh come on, we'll have a giggle.

Oh yeah, some giggle.

I don't mind roughing it a bit, but do us a favour.

I'd do it for you, wouldn't I?

Right well you do it for me now then. You have fatty, and I'll have the darling.

Oh leave off.

Wanna dance then darling?

Hi.

Dance?

Who me?

Oh yes please.

I won't be a minute.

Don't go away

Oh.

Uh, this way.

# Who wears short shorts?

# We wear short shorts.

# Yeah.

# Who wears short shorts?

# We wear short shorts.

# Who wears short shorts?

# We wear short shorts.

There! That's him!

Ah, ain't that nice? He's bought he's grandmother with him.

Or is it he's grandmother?

I do believe it's suppose to be a bird.

Ain't some geezers got weird taste?

Yeah. It looks like a gorilla, dancing with a baby elephant.

Find, Find the law.

Hey quick, Herbs' in bother!

How about that, then?

Cor.

Hold tight!

Watch it!

Leg it away quick.

Law!

Bleeding kids.

Oh.

Oh no.

Have a rinse on me.

Hello Alf.

Oh hello, what's the picture like then?

Great! - Load of cabbage.

Where you two been then?

Down the ring.

You missed a darling bundle, didn't they Alf.

Till the law come.

Yeah. What a drag.

Can't even have a decent punch up, without them coming to poke their noses in.

Handsome while it lasted though, weren't it?

d Oh wasn't it a handsome punch up. d

# Oh wasn't it a darling fight.

# Wish that we could have a bundle.

# Like it, every other night.

# There was changing of knuckledusters.

# And bottles flew across the floor.

Hold tight!

# Oh wasn't it a handsome punch up.

# Till somebody called the law.

# Then we scattered.

# All over the place.

# Didn't fancy, a night in the nick.

# Yes, we scuppered, when we heard some yob shout.

Watch it bum! - Here they come.

Whip it, quick!

# But, it was very fair while it lasted.

# Everybody had loads of fun.

# Oh wasn't it a handsome punch up.

# Now we're dying for another one.

# Don't lose your bottle.

# We're dying for another one.

# Dying,

# For another one.

See me clobber that ginger headed fella did ya?

Marvelous, mate.

Night all!

State of him.

Here Alf.

What's that then?

See you finally packed it in with Marilyn Bishop then?

Yeah.

Why'd you say that?

We seen her tonight with some other fella. - Yeah. Some other fella.

Who?

I don't know who, but sitting right behind us, up the coronation weren't they, Chaz?

Yeah. Having a right old lumber.

You sure it was her?

What up then Alf?

You suppose to be cooing her?

Yeah. Cause it was her.

Here shall we have this fella then?

If you shoot round her place now, we probably catch them at it on the doorstep.

Yeah. Come on Alf.

Nah. I don't feel up to it tonight. Ernie.

Ah come on, Alf. I'll do him for you then.

I'll find out who he is, I'll have him some other time.

Well, I'm whipping off home now. Before my old man locks me out.

Coming now, or you staying here? - Yeah. I'm with ya.

See ya Alf, See ya Herb. - See ya.

Yeah, see ya Chaz. See ya Harry.

What's up then Alf?

I just got a headache ain't I.

Don't give me that.

I reckon your moping, over that silly bird.

Look I told you, I ain't bothered am I?

Well why don't you wanna go chin the fella she been out with then?

She can go with whoever she likes, as far as I'm concerned.

Well I reckon you got a strong fancy on her, meself.

Anyway I'm off home, you coming my way?

Uh, suppose I better, in case you do anything stupid.

Shh, keep still.

Sisters courting on the sofa.

You wanna hear the springs go.

What a bleeding life.

And he's at the dog track again.

Oh Mother.

She's down at Bingo.

Sisters on the sofa, you wanna hear the spring go.

No one seems to notice me.

# Blimey, what a scene.

# What a crazy world we're living in.

# Mother's playing bingo.

# Sister's courting on the sofa, you wanna hear the spring go.

# No one seems to notice me, isn't it a sin.

d What a crazy world we're living in. d

You waiting for me?

No. I'm just on me way to work.

Don't normally come this way, do you?

I can come this way, or down Albert Street. It's all the same.

Look Alf. If you don't want to go out with me no more, why don't you say so.

Did you enjoy the film last night?

Or was the snogging better?

Suppose you mean Eric, so I did go out with him.

At least I didn't have to pay for him.

So, he's your new romance?

He's nothing like that, he's just a friend of the family.

He comes round ou house, quite a bit.

And last night he asked if a fancied going to pictures.

What do you expect me to do then?

Sit home every night, hoping you might decide to honour me and call round?

Well I've been busy ain't I.

Besides, I ain't got no money, I don't want to keep

going on you, hopping to you all the time do I?

Two sixes please. - Two sixes

But we could've sat in, that don't cost nothing do it?

I don't mind if you're a bit hard up these days.

What bloke ain't?

But I mean you could let me know?

Look!

You're either going with me, or you ain't going out with me?

If you wanna go out with this, Uncle Eric.

Go out with him, go out with whoever you like,

but don't start hanging round me, cause I won't wanna know.

Well if that's the way it is, I've a good mind to go out with Eric, regular.

Well I ain't bothered.

So you don't wanna know, no more?

I didn't say that did I?

Well, do ya?

Yeah. I suppose so.

You don't sound very keen about it. - I just got headache, ain't I.

Look Alf.

Why don't you come round our house and play some records?

Your old man, your lady going out then?

Why? Does that make a difference?

Well I don't fancy if they're in, do I. The old man hates my guts for a start.

And your old lady don't exactly kiss my feet when I walk in, does she?

Ah, they're like that with nearly everybody.

They like you, really, honest.

Yeah, I know when people like me, and when they don't.

Oh come round Alf, they might even be going out.

Dunno, I might do.

Well if you do, make it about eight o'clock then, alright.

Yeah. See ya later.

# Please give me a chance. This is my first romance.

# Just one chance to show. That my love for you, will grow.

# Grow.

# So, give me a chance. This is my first romance.

# Please, tell me you care. For this, is my first affair.

# Just one kiss from you. Would make all my dreams come true.

# So

# Give me a chance.

# This is my first romance.

# They say, falling in love, is wonderful.

# And I've found that soul.

# I've never felt this way before.

# And I don't want the feeling to go.

# So please, hold me near. Whisper sweet words in my ear.

# Then tell me that you.

# Are feeling the same way too.

# Oh, give me a chance.

# For this, is my first romance.

# They say that, falling in love is wonderful.

# And I found that so.

# I've never felt this way before. And I don't want the feeling to go.

# So please hold me dear.

# Whisper sweet words, in my ear.

# And tell me that you, are feeling the same way too.

# Oh,

d Give me a chance. For this, is my first romance. d

d This, d

# Is my first, romance.

# No one seems to notice me, isn't it a sin?

Alright, thank you, thank you. No, I tell you what you do,

go next door to the 'modern musik' company.

Number twenty two, you can't miss it.

They might have a basin for the lad, that serves him right.

Kindly bring your book in please, Miss Williams.

Not that one! That one.

Wotcher, Chaz. Wotcher, Harry.

Hello Alf. - Hello Alf.

What you doing round this manor?

Oh, nothing much just baking about, anyway.

Here, how long you two been working for a living?

Ooh, a long time.

Yeah, about a week I suppose.

I must say, you kept it very quiet ain't ya.

Yeah, you know what the lads like don't you, they'd been round here every day,

sending us up, something rotten.

Something rotten.

Well you will do these things, won't ya?

Yeah.

Still, I gotta hand it to you, you're a hard working pair ain't ya.

Oh, it's a good mornings graft that.

Good mornings graft, eh?

Here,

I ain't shredding my guts out for no one.

What's the time Alf?

God knows.

Five to twelve.

Nearly dinner time. - Nearly dinner time.

One thing about us two,

No, knocking off early just cause the old foreman's off ill eh?

Yeah. Union men, us two.

Fancy a cup of tea in a minute, Alf?

On me?

Dunno, might do.

Here Alf, what's the matter, you cheesed off?

You cheesed off?

Nah, I ain't cheesed off. Just a bit fed up legging about, you know.

Here, why don't you get a job.

Oh turn it up, blimey as soon as you find something

you like, they don't wanna know you, do they?

You could get a job with us. We'd row him in, wouldn't we Chaz?

Yeah. We'll row you in.

Nah. Don't fancy this old painting lot, do I.

It's a job though innit?

Yeah. At least you got a few bob in your bin.

And you don't have to keep tabbing the old lady, every five minutes.

You're independent ain't ya.

Yeah, you can say that again.

You're independent ain't ya.

# Independence.

# Independence.

# Means standing on your own two feet.

# Independence.

# Independence.

# It's a feeling that you just can't beat.

# With a few honest bob in your pocket.

# Up the social ladder you climb.

# So, independence.

# Independence, every time.

# Independence.

# Independence.

# Suddenly you're ten feet tall.

# No more scrounging, no more lounging.

# Worries are to fade and fall.

# You find you are constantly smiling.

# Life seems much more sublime.

# With independence.

# Independence, every time.

# Oh, there's something to be said, for crawling out of bed.

# At eight AM each working day.

# For, very very soon, it is Friday afternoon.

# When the foreman, comes around with your pay.

# Independence.

# Independence.

# From now on it's gonna be.

# Self reliant.

# Non defiant.

# On the point, we both agree.

# So take this advice that we offer.

# Each time you here, Big Ben chime.

# So Independence. - Independence!

# Independence. Every time.

Here, we're working overtime. - Overtime? Right down tools into break.

Coming Alf?

No, I'll see you later boys.

Sorry.

Hey that's mine, I found it.

Ah, well I nearly had it.

All out of tune.

Funny music, I don't know.

Still here, Alf?

Here, you having a go at the old Ivan and bellows?

Yeah, the old Ivan and everlyos

Yeah, I'd go for that crudgy guitar Alf.

Straight up mate, are you having a go at the songwriting game?

Thought I'd give it a try didn't I.

How'd you get on?

I'm only on the firm. Ain't I.

He's only on the firm, ain't he.

Yeah. Now we know where to come for a sub, when we're skint, eh Chaz?

Well I reckon that tea's all down to Alfred Hitchens. The composer.

Boys, be my guest.

Right.

Hello Johnny boy.

Wotcher, darling. Tell the gaffer I'm here will ya.

You're a bit early.

Mr Gold isn't in yet.

Gives me more time to chat to you, don't it?

I know your type.

Fast worker.

How long you worked here then?

Ever since I left school.

Any good? - It's alright.

How do you come to get it then? - Through my father.

Well, he's a friend of Mr Gold.

Yeah? What's he do then, your old man?

He's got his own business.

Has he got a car an all that, then?

Cause he's got a car.

You like asking questions don't you?

It's the only way to get answers innit?

And to get on.

I'm thinking of getting a motor myself you know.

Can't do without one, these days.

No, guess what for.

Oh?

Well what did you used to do?

I done a bit of everything.

I used to work on the council at one time, on the dustcart.

Just for the experience, like.

I'm thinking of starting my own business now though.

Doing what?

I dunno, I ain't thought yet.

When did you start writing songs?

It just come to me, you know.

Good Morning, Mr Gold.

Good Morning, Miss Eckett.

Got any messages for me?

No messages, oh here's a post.

That's a post?

Well my budding Lionel Bart. All ready to start this morning, are ya?

Follow me, me son.

See ya later then.

Best of luck.

Right.

We'll need these my son, follow me.

What's your name again?

Alf Hitchens.

Alf Hitchens. Now here's your bike my son.

And you'll find that at the top of each sheet in here,

you'll find the names and addresses.

Here, are you listening to me?

At the top of each sheet here, you'll find the names

and the addresses of all the places you've gotta go.

This'll probably take you all morning.

So you take your lunch break about one o'clock.

Alright my son? Talk to you in the afternoon.

Oh, Mr Gold.

What is it?

Er, you wouldn't have another listen at me song would ya?

Look! I told you already, I'll listen to the song,

when I got the time, I'm a busy man.

How's he expect me to ride this pony thing?

Gonna look a right dick on that, ain't I?

She had a fabulous dress on.

I like those pink shoes.

I saw some down the market the other day. Very fair price.

Ain't you read the by-laws?

No. - No music.

Off!

And him.

I'll see you back at work then.

Oh yeah.

Won't be late. - Bye.

Bye.

Wotcher, Mal.

I'm sorry about the other night, ain't I.

I didn't expect you to turn up anyway.

Yeah. Well I meant to didn't I?

Didn't really matter. Lil came round, we went out.

Yeah, well I got this job see.

So I heard, what you doing?

Oh, nothing much, I'm helping out ain't I, delivering these.

Wonder how long you'll stick that.

Oh, turn it up, you sound like my old lady now.

I better be getting back, don't wanna be late.

They've made me as manageress.

Oh, that's soundy innit? I was gonna phone you at the shop, I didn't know time right.

Yeah I bet you was.

Oh don't start all that again.

Well, who do you think you're kidding with all your stories?

What you talking about? What stories?

Alright, have it your way. So I'm a liar.

Those are the truest words you've ever said.

I suppose you went out with Uncle Eric again the other night?

What if I did?

Well then you're a liar, cause you just said you went out with your mate, Lil.

I ain't gotta tell you everything I do.

No, and I ain't gotta tell you everything I do, have I?

So now we're quits.

Well I don't think so.

When you seeing Uncle Eric again then?

That's my business.

And he's name is just Eric if you don't mind.

He's not my uncle.

You know what I mean.

I know what you mean.

You've always got to take the mickey out of people better than you, haven't you?

Better than me? I'll flatten him with me little finger.

And the rest of that team, you hang about with,

you're getting more and more like 'em everyday.

So what, anyway as far as I'm concerned, you can go with Uncle Eric.

I will and all, don't you worry.

You're not the only girl in the world.

Well if it comes to that.

# You're not the only fella on this earth.

# And I'll find enough, that you're just not worth.

# All the lonely tears, that I've cried for you.

# And I feel the same way too. I bet you do.

# You're not the only pebble on the beach.

# And you're not the only girl within my reach.

# You make me mad.

# Ain't that too bad.

# I feel the same way too.

# It's plain to see.

# That you want me to be.

# Always waiting at your beck and call.

Well I won't.

# And if you had your way, you'd keep me everyday.

# Like a dog chained up to the wall.

A dirty dog.

# You're not the only number in my book.

# And you're not the only ripple in the brook.

I'm fed up of you.

# Well you know what to do.

# And you can do the same thing to. Get lost!

# One of these days, you'll be sorry for the ways, that you've been so unkind and mean.

You'll see.

# You'll be sorry too. Cause I got news for you.

# I won't be around on the scene.

So what.

I already told ya.

d You're not the only number in my book.

# And you're not the only ripple in the brook.

I'm still fed up of you

Well, you know what you can do.

# And you can do the same thing too. Drop dead!

# You're always late. For reaching every date.

# And you nag me like a clucking hen.

# You're full of lies. So here are my goodbyes. I never wanna see you again.

# Here! Your not the only fish that's in the sea.

# And you're not the only bird that's in the tree.

# Someday you'll find, how much you were blind.

# Then you'll feel the same way too.

# And I feel the same way too.

# Please hold me near, whisper sweet words in my ear.

# You're not the only cherry in the pie.

# And tell me that you, are feeling the same way too.

# And you're not the only, star that's in the sky.

# Oh, someday you'll find, how much you were blind.

# Then you'll feel the same way too.

# And you'll feel the same way too.

# I feel the same way too.

Hello.

Thank God, that's another week over.

Where's Goldilocks then?

Oh, he's in his office with someone, listening to recordings.

I should like to get him to start forking out

for some bus fares. My feet are killing me.

Poor old thing.

Where you taking me tonight then?

How do you know, I haven't got another date?

Don't give me that.

Here, how about a nice little stroll over Hampstead Heath eh?

Fresh air will do you good.

I thought your feet were aching.

Yeah, well we can sit down, can't we, on the grass.

No thanks.

That was enough the other evening, at the pictures.

Miss Eckett.

Yes?

Miss Eckett, is Hitchens back yet?

Oh, he's just got in Mr Gold.

Well send him in here, with the tape of the new Johnny Fletcher song will you.

Right.

Cor blimey, I'll be in here all night now, won't I?

Here, he's only had it recorded, hasn't he.

What you doing?

You can't do that.

Can't I?

# Dad's gone down the dog track.

# Mother's playing bingo.

# Grannie's boozing in the parlour, you oughta see the gin go.

# No one seems to notice me, isn't it a sin.

# What a crazy world we're living in.

# Brown bread!

# Brown bread!

# The old man never talks to me, and when he does, it's moan.

You could get your cards and coppers for that.

Oh, I shouldn't worry, can't hang about with me career to stand still.

Can I?

I was only saying to Sam in bed last night, Sam I said,

That boy's growing up at last.

It surprise us all before very long, you mark my words, I said.

But he don't have much to say, just grunts and turns over.

Bert's the same just can't be bothered.

Hello son.

Oh what you got in that parcel?

New shirt and tie, innit?

Ooh, that's nice. isn't it?

Here.

How's your Cyril, I ain't seen him around much lately, is he courting?

I wish he was, he just don't seem interested in girls.

I knew a fella like him once. - Oh yeah?

We used to call him, Matilda.

What can you do with 'em?

I'll just get me coat, doll.

Here, my Cyril's not...

Oh.

Here Alf.

What?

You know how you've bought a new tie?

Yeah I know, I've bought a new tie.

Well do you reckon,

do you reckon, I can borrow your old one? Just for tonight, I give you it back

as soon as I get in. Straight up.

Where you going tonight, then?

Seeing Elsie, ain't I.

But don't say nothing will ya.

Your secret affairs safe with me, innit.

Will you lend it me then? Go on Alf.

Here you are, cock, you can have it.

Don't say I don't give you nothing.

Thanks Alf.

Thanks.

Take Elsie somewhere special will ya.

Ten bob!

Thanks Alf!

Alf son, do you reckon you can lend me a couple of bob, till your father gets in?

Can't wait no longer, we'll be late for bingo.

Aw, that's a good boy.

Good on you son. Ask your father for it, when he gets in.

Don't know where he's got to tonight, must be working overtime or something

First

number six.

You lucky winner.

All drinks is down to you, right.

Same again miss, alright.

If you lot want service, you'll have to come to the bar.

That depends what service you got going.

Do you mind?

Cor, I reckon your away with that one Sam.

Ah, the old magic's still there.

Good luck to you mate.

There you go son.

Oh, state of him, no wonder she turns the light out, as soon as they get in.

I'm telling you now, I'm gonna put one on him, one of these days.

Oh, he didn't mean nothing, Fred.

Come on hurry up, they're all out now.

Come on.

Oy up.

Wanna lift?

Oh that's handy, yeah.

Hang about girls, I'm coming over.

Well watch it then, that's my foot you're treading on.

Put on your signals mate!

We're looking smart ain't we?

All dressed up in our brand new clobber.

Where you off to then?

Nowhere much.

Ain't you er...

Seeing Marilyn Bishop tonight then?

Why?

Oh, we seen her up the high street just now, with all those other silly screaming birds.

Going out bowling or something.

She say anything?

Yeah. Wanna know where you was.

What you say?

Said, how do I bleeding well know.

What she say?

Started having a go. Nearly put one on her, silly mare.

I thought you lot would've picked 'em up, in this old crate.

No, we don't wanna know.

Got a job lined up ain't we.

Yeah?

Yeah and some.

Tobacco, it's from the railway station, out at the sticks.

You lot skint again then?

Yeah, things are going from bad to worse. - Yeah.

Bit low on er, juice an' all

Half a sheet?

Ah! Cheers Alf.

I'll give you it back, when we get rid of the gear.

You can drop me off here, if you like.

See ya then Alf.

Yeah. And mind how you go mate.

Thought as much.

Lover boy's here.

Hello, how's it going then?

Alright, thank you.

Wanna talk to you, don't I.

No ones stopping you.

Be like that then.

How'd you expect me to be then? Falling at your

feet cause you decided to say something at last?

I've been working ain't I

You don't work evenings as well do you?

What's up, she let you down tonight?

You can either believe me, or not believe me. I've been working ain't I.

Look Alf, let's just forget it.

So you don't wanna no any more then?

Looks to me like it's the other way around.

Cause it ain't. What you think I'm standing here for?

Don't know, you tell me.

Look.

I've already told you ain't I.

I'm sorry I haven't been seeing you lately, but I've been working ain't I.

I'm not giving you a load of old mood, it's straight up.

Well, you fancy coming to pictures then?

Dunno.

Well you either do, or you don't.

I can't make you up. One minute you don't wanna know me, next minute, you do.

You coming or what?

I'm here with me friends now.

I'm sure they can manage without you. You coming or what?

Wait a minute then.

Gotta go now, see you all.

You back with Hitchens, then?

I don't know what you see in that.

Didn't say I was going back with him, did I?

Well are you coming, or what?

Yeah, alright.

Hang about.

One and nine.

My age.

Nineteen.

On it's own.

Number three.

Up a tree.

With number three.

Keep your fingers crossed doll, I've only got one more to get.

Oh yes, so you have.

All the eights.

Two fat ladies.

No offence, madam.

That's alright Dickie, I'll sit on you later.

One and six.

Sweet sixteen.

All fours.

Droopy draws. - Yes!

Well how'd you like that?

That's a second time in a fortnight, that's happened to me.

Never mind, there's still the pyramid to come.

It would have to be her an all.

Yeah.

I suppose, we'll never hear the end of it now, off her.

Ain't it disappointing though?

Just when Joey needed some new clothes, when he leaves school at the end of term.

Yeah, but what the eye don't see, the heart don't grieve over.

You don't want to spend your like worrying about the kids.

They won't care about you, when the time comes.

My kids seem to think, money grows on trees.

The more you do for 'em, the more they treat you like dirt.

Yeah. you're dead right there, Perce.

They don't know how easy they've got it.

I mean we never used to earn the money they earn, did we?

What? I wish I was an office boy now.

The screw they earn.

We're old crooks my son.

They got no respect for us.

# No they will deride, when you try and provide.

# A future for your girl or your lad.

# They don't understand, that you've worked and you've planned.

# To give 'em all the things we never had.

# Now, it doesn't seem fair.

# When none of them care, if times are good, or if they are bad.

# Once the seeds have been planted, they'll just take you for granted.

# When you give 'em all the things we never had.

# They'll want a new TV set.

# So you buy a new TV set.

# To pay off the HP debt, you go out and play so bad.

# They'll need a new pair of shoes,

# So you buy a new, pair of shoes.

# They know that you can't refuse.

# Whatever the odds, you lose.

# Then you reach the state, when you can't hesitate.

# To keep up with these passing fads.

# You just keep on buying, and you never stop trying.

# To give 'em all the things we never had.

# Then they'll want a radiogram.

# So you buy 'em a radiogram.

# You're in a financial jam, but they never, give a damn.

# Then they'll need a winter coat.

# So you buy 'em a winter coat.

# And then it's up to the top, to see if you sink or float.

# Yes it's up to you, to find us something to do.

# To stop you going skull raving mad.

# You watch the dog chase the bunny, praying you'll win some money.

# To give 'em all the things we never had.

# You pay it off crown, and from then on it's eyes down.

# To give 'em all the things we never had.

# Yes, once you start, there's no ending.

# You'll forever be spending.

# To give 'em all the things we never had.

Wow, what's come over you?

What you mean?

Gone all passionate all of a sudden.

It's what you do to me, innit.

What are you after?

Only you.

Yeah. Until tomorrow night.

What you mean by that?

What I said.

You only want me, when you've got nothing better to do.

From now on I'll see you every night if you like.

You feeling alright?

Yeah.

If you like we'll get engaged.

Do you really mean that?

Yeah, what you think I asked you for?

Will you?

You know I want to, don't you.

Yeah, but will you?

Yes.

Oh, that's nice.

You want bother mate?

You're very likely to get your head kicked in.

I've heard about blokes like you, in the back of cinemas before.

What you gonna do about it then?

I'm gonna kick his false teeth down his throat.

I don't think he meant nothing, really.

Nosey old git.

Was you messing about just now, about getting engaged to me?

Nah, I weren't messing about, I mean that. Straight up.

But why all of a sudden?

Well, it ain't all of a sudden, I've been thinking

about it for a long time now, ain't I.

The way you've been acting lately, I should have said no.

Why didn't you then.

Dunno.

Reckon I must love you or something.

Don't know why.

You're just a big nothing.

Oh, thank you very much. I am, am I?

Well just you wait and see.

# I'm gonna be somebody, someday. Just you, wait and see.

# I'll make money and go a long way.

# You'd be proud of me.

# Oh, I won't climb mountains, or sail the seas.

# I won't unravel lifes mysteries.

# But, I'm gonna be somebody someday.

# Just you wait and see.

# I'll be the king of all I survey.

# And you'll share it all with me.

# All our cares, will just fade away.

# And happy forever, we'll be.

# Well, I won't fly a jet,

# Plane or a balloon.

# And I won't be the first man, to land on the moon.

# But I'm gonna be somebody, someday.

# Just you wait and see.

# Just wait and see, what life will bring.

# Undoubtedly, a wedding ring.

# A country mansion, built for two.

# With a garden, and a lovely view for you.

# I'm gonna be somebody, someday.

# Just you wait and see.

# You might think, that's funny insane.

# I'm talking foolishly.

# But, though I won't be famous like a TV star.

# And I won't build bridges, in lands of afar.

# I'm gonna be somebody, someday.

# Just you wait and see.

# Just you wait and see.

I can't hang about Alf, or I'll get locked out.

Yeah, alright then. See you tomorrow, about seven.

Ta-Ra

Alright bye.

Alf.

Yeah.

Let's just wait.

And see.

# I'm gonna be somebody, someday.

Number.

Seven.

Ooh, that's lucky.

Look you not had a bingo. Don't rabbit, I'm trying to concentrate...

Tea Doris.

Thanks mum. - Here you are then.

Here! Got something for you to hear, it's out today.

Well I hope it's good.

It's smashing, put it on Alf.

Turn that thing down.

We ain't all deaf.

It's me song innit.

Do you like it, Mrs Hitchens.

Yeah. Very nice. But don't let it go to your head.

Yeah well, I'm glad I bash, ain't I.

What about your job then.

It ain't no bottling, I've turned it in.

Well, you can just go and unturn it in.

Alright, alright.

I'm not having another son of mine, laying about the house all day,

while I'm flogging my guts out.

Alright, alright. - Alf!

Don't you give me those alrights, you just do what I say.

Oh listen a minute Dad!

The day you keep a job for more than five minutes, is the day I drop dead.

Is that a promise?

Stop giving me, none of your cheek.

Grow up a minute. - Be a good boy Joe.

Mind your own business.

Joey, you say you're sorry, this minute!

Tomorrow morning, first thing, up and out. And find yourself a job, or out you go!

This is your final warning!

Your just as bad as they are. All talk.

I mean it this time. I mean it this time.

No wonder he's the way he is.

# Dad's gone down the dog track, Mother's playing bingo.

# Sister's courting on the sofa. Wanna hear the springs go.

# No one seems to notice me, isn't it a sin.

# What a crazy world we're living in.

# Mother says I look a yob, me trousers are too tight.

# She think's you ought to get a job and not stay out all night.

# She doesn't like your haircut. She says me friends are lousy.

# And then she says, it's getting late, can't miss me ousey-ousey.

# Dad's gone down the dog track, Mother's playing bingo.

# Me Brother's fiddling with the telly, trying to make the thing go.

# And no one seems to notice me, oh isn't it a sin.

# What a crazy world we're living in.

# The law caught us out thieving, took us down the nick.

# The sergeant made out his report, and layed it on real thick.

# He said I'll fetch your parents, we answered with a grin.

# Save yourself the trouble, mate, you'll never find 'em in.

# We've been slaving, in the home. Trying to make ends meet.

# Trying to bring our kids up right, and keep 'em off the street.

# But no one seems to notice us, isn't it a sin.

# What a crazy world we're living in.

# Dad's gone down the dog track, Mother's playing bingo.

# All our mates are layabouts, you wanna hear their lingo.

# No one seems to notice us, isn't it a sin.

# What a crazy world we're living in.

# What a crazy world we're living in.

Bleeding kids.

Extracred from mkv: suadnovic