Original subtitles

Starring Andy Griffith...

with Ronny Howard.

Also starring Don Knotts.

Henry, do you have to stand

looking over my left shoulder like that?

Huh?

Well, it's bad luck

looking over a player's left shoulder.

Everybody knows that. Stand somewheres else, will ya?

Are you kiddin'?

No, I ain't kiddin'.

Well, this is ridiculous.

Go, Barney. It's your move.

No, no, no. He doesn't like to be rushed.

That's right. Don't rush me.

Just don't rush me.

I'm gonna take my own sweet time.

Oh, say! That was nice.

That was a nice move.

I'll just take my own sweet time, too, then.

I think I'll just jump you here...

and here... and here.

It's easy to see why I lost that one.

Oh?

It's because you was standing behind me,

and you jinxed me. That's why!

Could it be that maybe you was getting a little careless?

Yeah? And what made me careless?

Huh? Answer me that one.

Are you trying to make me out like a jinx or something?

Well, maybe you are a jinx.

Huh?

You remember last Labor Day?

The horseshoe pitching contest? What about it?

Virgil Hodge was pitching a beautiful game.

Just beautiful.

Then, at one point,

he went to get hisself a drink of water,

and you patted him on the back... and kaboom!

Virgil lost the contest.

Now, ain't that right?

That is right.

I kinda remember.

Now, wait a minute. Wait a minute.

It wouldn't be that Virgil

was a little overconfident, would it?

No. No. No.

Facts is facts, Henry.

Virgil was winning until you touched him

and hexed him.

Now, listen... listen to me.

This is just nonsense.

A lot of just nonsense.

I don't know about that.

What's going on?

Oh, Henry here just hexed me

into losing a checker game.

And now they're trying

to make me out to be a jinx.

Well, like Barney said, facts is facts.

Say, you know, I just happen to remember something.

It was the opening day at the Little League.

You probably remember this, too, Barney.

Uh... what happened?

Well, a foul ball went in the stands,

and Henry caught it and threw it back.

Well, the very next batter that comes up,

he knocks a fly out to my son,

and it goes right through his fingers.

Uh... Floyd, could that have happened

because your boy ain't a very good ballplayer?

It was the only fly

that my Norman dropped in the whole game.

Well, I don't know,

but I believe it was the only fly

that come to your Norman in the whole game.

Well, it happened

after Henry patted Virgil on the back,

just like it happened after he stood behind me.

The plain fact is, you're a jinx.

I don't have to stand around here

and listen to all this baloney.

Barney Fife, you're a sap!

Just a great big sap!

And that goes for all the rest of you, too.

Who you callin' a sap?!

Well, I can't say as how I blame him.

Huh?

What did you expect,

carrying on like that and calling him a jinx?

What's the matter with you?

Well, Andy, he was there when all these things happened.

So how do you account for that, huh?

Yeah. Facts is facts, Andy.

Fact number one, I was playing checkers...

I know, I know.

You was playing checkers,

and you conveniently blame the checker game

and the ball game and everything on Henry.

You're all acting like a bunch of superstitious young'uns.

I believe I'll just go tell him so.

Andy?

You ain't planning on a game of cards

or checkers this evening, are you?

Why?

Well, if you get close enough to Henry,

you're going to be somebody's pigeon.

He's going to be somebody's pigeon.

Hey, Henry!

Sheriff, ain't you afraid of getting yourself hexed?

Come on, Henry. You ain't going

to take them seriously, are you?

Well, dadburn it, Andy

how would you feel if they was to make out

you was the town jinx?

But they was just joking.

Yeah?

Oh, sure.

Now, you know there's no such thing as a jinx.

They was just trying to get a big joke off on you.

Well, it ain't funny to me.

Well, listen.

We'll just get a bigger joke back at them.

Yeah? How?

Well, listen. Day after tomorrow's the opening day

of fishing season, right?

You come with Barney and me in my boat.

Me?

That's right.

We always do extra good because we got

a special fishing hole we know about.

We'll show them birds in that barber shop.

They'll be laughing out the other side of their faces.

Oh, that's a great idea, Andy.

Yeah, that will show them. Won't it?

It surely will.

But, uh, what's your deputy

going to think about that idea?

Barney? Oh, don't worry about him.

Once I explain it to him,

he'll be all for it.

That's one thing about Barney.

Once you explain something to him,

he gets real sensible.

Henry Bennett in our boat?

You actually invited him to be in our boat?

Henry Bennett?

In our boat?

That's right, Barney.

Oh, brother!

I thought I'd heard everything.

But I didn't hear everything!

But I sure am hearing it now!

Well, speak right up

if you got any objections.

Objections?

Oh, what possible objection could I have?

Outside of the fact that,

for the past three years running,

you and I have won the opening day sweepstakes

for the best catch.

But the important thing is that

Thelma Lou and I were planning to celebrate

by having a little intimate dinner.

Oh, you were?

That's right.

Just her and me.

We was going to have

a little candlelight and wine.

Then we was going to listen

to some of them Cole Porter records

that has that certain effect on her.

Well, outside of the fact that

that's all down the drain, I don't object.

Why should Henry being along make a difference?

He's a jinx!

It's as simple as that, Andy.

The man's a jinx.

Oh, come on, Barney.

Now, you don't really

believe that stuff, do you?

I do!

And, with him in the boat,

how in the world are we going to win the sweepstakes?

For that matter, what chance do we have

to even catch one little trout?

And, without any trout, how's Thelma Lou and me

going to have an intimate little dinner?

And, without an intimate dinner,

how are we going to get to Cole Porter?

You see, Andy,

it just unravels the whole evening.

Oh, ain't that awful?

Ain't that awful?

A whole evening spoiled.

Now, don't tell me any more

or I'll be standing here up to my ankles

in a puddle of tears.

Oh, you're funny, you are.

Why don't you put a flower in your lapel

and squirt water?

Paw!

The back room, Ope.

Hi, Barney.

Hi, Ope.

What ya doing?

Oh, getting ready to go fishing tomorrow.

By readin' a book?

Yeah. I'm studying to find something

to give us good luck.

This is an old book of my grandma's.

It's just full of valuable information.

Hey, here's something.

Listen to this.

"To insure good luck before a coming event,

"rub the head of a redheaded man.

"If a man with red hair cannot be obtained,

a boy will do."

Well, now.

I don't reckon you could find

any hair redder than that carrot top of yours.

If you don't mind...

That ought to do some good.

We need all the luck we can get.

At fishing? Why?

Golly, you and Paw always win on the opening day.

Well, Henry Bennett is going in our boat, Ope.

And Henry Bennett is a jinx.

He is?

He is. And you got to take

all the precautions you can against a jinx.

Barney?

Coming, Andy.

Hi, Paw!

Oh, hi, Ope.

Hi, Barn. Hi, Andy.

How is everybody?

Oh, fine.

Good.

You want to rub my head?

I want to what?

Go on. I'm a redhead, you know.

Why don't you run out and play, Ope?

What are you talking about?

I'm just helping to take precautions

against a jinx.

Where'd you learn that?

Oh, he probably picked it up somewheres, Andy.

You know how kids are.

They're always picking things up.

That's the way they are.

I'll see you, Ope.

Could it be he picked up this particular gem

right here from you maybe?

From me?

What you got behind your back there?

What?

Behind your back, right here.

Behind your back. Behind your back.

What's this?

I just... catching up on a little reading.

Signs, Omens, Portents and Charms

To Ward Off Bad Luck.

Catchy little title, ain't it?

Now, Barney, I want you

to stop this nonsense.

Now, that's why I asked Henry Bennett

to come fishing in our boat in the first place

was to stop this foolishness about him being a jinx.

Now, we're going to catch just as many fish as we ever did,

and I want you to stop your fretting and carrying on.

And quit rubbing Opie's head!

Pat.

I ain't even had a nibble yet, Andy.

Oh, we're going to do just fine.

We ain't been here long enough.

Don't you worry about it.

Right, Barney?

What are you doing?

You stop that.

Why? We ain't caught one fish yet.

I tell ya, he's jinxin' us.

Barney, quit!

Andy, it ain't going to hurt

to try a few sayings for things like this.

Now, here. Touch this rabbit foot.

Barney...

Come, fish, come. Come, fish, come.

Sam's at the gate with a frosted cake.

Come, fish, come.

Silliest thing I ever heard.

Shh! Here's another one.

Fly away, buzzard, fly away, crow,

way down south where the winds don't blow.

Rub your nose and give two winks,

and save us from this awful jinx.

You put that thing away... and right now.

Andy! Andy!

Look at your line!

Quick!

Look at that pole bend!

You got a big one!

Andy, look!

I can't look right now.

I'm busy. But, Andy...

Boy! Look at the size of him.

He is a big one!

Boy, he sure is. About the biggest I've seen

coming out of this pond.

Boy, you reckon the folks

will still call you a jinx, Henry?

I reckon not.

Andy, will you hand me an oar?

What for? We ain't going anywhere.

Well, we'd better.

We're sinkin'.

Uh-oh, uh-oh, boys.

Now, here's the man that can tell us

just what he had in mind when he asked Henry Bennett

to fish in the same boat with him.

Uh... what were you trying to do there, Andy?

Throw the fishing contest?

I don't think that's a bit funny, Floyd.

Oh, you mean you still don't think he's a jinx?

Well, you asked for it.

You saw the whole thing firsthand.

Biggest catch in years right in your fingertips,

and you lose it.

Well, I can't lay all that at Henry's door.

Well, where do you lay it?

At a lot of doors.

Now, I dropped my pole because our boat was sinking.

Well, why was that?

Because Earl Gilley was too blamed cheap,

and tried to save money on the caulking, that's why.

Boy, you insist on flying

right in the face of scientific fact, don't you?

Scientific fact?

There are atmospheric rays which control bodily motions.

Now, if a person containing negative or hexing qualities

gets between you and them rays,

why, he creates a static that jars any successful motion

into an unsuccessful motion, and jinxes you.

And that is a scientific fact.

And that is also

the biggest crock of nothing I ever heard.

It's guys like you that laughed at Edison,

the Wright brothers, Buzz Fluheart.

Buzz Fluheart?

The man that discovered the scientific fact

I just was telling you.

Oh, for heaven's sakes, Barney.

Hello, boys.

Oh, hi, Aunt Bee. What you got there?

Tickets for the church social Saturday night,

and nobody leaves without buying one.

They cost 50 cents.

I'll take one, Aunt Bee.

What's the door prize this year, Aunt Bee?

A portable TV.

Oh! Stepping up in class, huh?

Remember, last year, it was just a transistor radio.

Without an earplug.

Well, the bigger the prize, the more tickets we sell.

Oh! Say, that's cute.

"Bigger the prize, more tickets..."

Hey, here comes Henry Bennett.

Quick, everybody.

Touch this rabbit's foot.

Touch it. Touch it. Touch it.

Touch it, Andy.

Now, Barney... Turn the mirror face down.

Okay, now, everybody take your right hand,

put it over your head, touch your left earlobe.

Barney.

Close your eyes and listen to this:

Wink 'em, think 'em, 'nonymous rex,

protect us all from the man with the hex.

Wink 'em, think 'em, 'nonymous rex...

Hello, Henry.

Hi, Henry.

Hello, Sheriff, Aunt Bee.

What are you fellas doing?

Uh...

I'll tell you what they're doing, Henry.

Outside of behaving like a bunch of nuts,

they're protecting themselves from a jinx.

They saw you a-coming.

I know, I know.

And that's the reason I'm, uh...

well, I'm leaving.

You're what?

I'm leaving Mayberry.

I come over to tell you that.

You can't be serious.

Oh, yes, I am.

Ain't no fun living in a town

where folks are starting to avoid you.

Folks that used to be your friends.

From now on,

everything bad that happens in this town

is going to be blamed on me.

And, after what happened at the fishing,

I ain't so sure but what they'd be right.

Well, uh... maybe I'll be seeing you.

Well, I hope you're all satisfied,

with your picking at him

and your scientific facts and all.

Well, Andy, I didn't mean to hurt him.

Well, you did. You hurt him bad enough that he's leaving town.

Barney, you know, sometimes you beat everything.

Golly, Andy, we was only having

a little joke.

Well, your joke went too far.

So you don't really believe Henry's a jinx, huh, Floyd?

No.

How about you fellas?

How about you, Barney?

You believe that Henry's got the power to hex somebody?

Do you, huh? Well...

See? None of you believe it,

but you got Henry to believe it,

and he's leaving town and there's no reason for him to.

Henry's a good man, and every one of you

ought to be ashamed of yourselves.

What do you think we ought to do about it?

I don't know. But you better do something.

Like what?

How do I know?

Well, maybe we could make it up to him.

Yeah, maybe we could show him

that his luck has changed.

Yeah. Well, maybe something like,

you know, if he... if he just won that TV

Saturday at the social, you know.

You expect Henry to win? Are you kidding?

There'll be a hundred people with chances at that door prize.

Just how do you think Henry Bennett will win?

Wait a minute.

There's a lot of ways Henry might win.

One way, of course, is by pure chance.

And then there's the fact that Henry's a little overdo

for some good luck. That's another way.

And then there's one more way,

and I believe that's the way that I prefer.

What's that?

Cheating.

You mean rig it so's he'd win?

That's right.

Andy, how can a respectable sheriff,

and an upstanding group of citizens like us,

perpetrate such a thing?

Well, if the upstanding group of citizens

will listen just a minute, I'll tell you.

Now, Aunt Bee, there'll be a hat

full of numbers there, right?

Uh-huh. And the corresponding numbers in the fishbowl.

In the fishbowl. Now, suppose we had all the numbers

in the hat and the fishbowl the same?

Well, that would mean everybody'd be a winner.

It would, it would.

But supposing we got everybody to agree

not to answer when the number's called?

I see. Then Henry would be the only one to speak up.

He'd have to be the winner.

That's right. You want to do that?

I think that's a pretty good idea.

Just a minute, Andy.

How you going to get Henry to the church social?

I'll get him there.

Sheriff Taylor, I got to hand it to you.

For a fella sworn

to uphold law and order and decent living,

you sure are a good sneak.

All right, there you are.

The hat's full of lucky numbers,

and each one of them just happens to be number 44.

Everybody got it straight?

We all got it straight?

Yes, yes. Pass the word around.

Now, wait. Now, nobody's to say anything

when the winning number is called except Henry. Okay?

I know.

Oh, that was extra good.

Good. Come on up here, Aunt Bee.

Good, Sandy. Don't your voice ever get tired?

All right, everybody.

All right, now, quit dancing.

Quiet down and come on up here

and let's make a real close group up here

around the stage here.

Now, folks, get your numbers ready

for the big drawing

for the beautiful portable TV set.

Come on, Henry.

I think I'll step out for a breath of air.

Oh, but wait a minute.

It's the drawing. You might win.

You got as good a chance as anybody else.

You took a number, didn't you?

Yeah.

Well, come on then.

Now, everybody set?

Go ahead, Aunt Bee.

Andy, would you do the honors?

Well, I'd be proud to serve.

Everybody ready?

There they are. There they are.

There they are.

Whoop, whoop, whoop.

I got one. I got one.

You ready?

The winning number is number 44.

And the winner is...

The lucky number's number 44,

and the winner is stepping forward right now,

and we see that it is, uh...

No number 44, huh?

Everybody want to check your cards?

Well, it ain't my number.

Why don't you look at your number?

What number did you get, Henry?

You did get a number, didn't you?

Good. Folks, Henry Bennett's going to show us what number

he pulled out of the hat.

What'd you get, Henry? Number 44?

No. Six and seven-eighths.

Seven-eighths?

Let me see that.

Oh, Andy, he pulled out the hat size.

I told you, didn't I?

Now I've even jinxed myself.

Uh... wait. Wait a minute, Henry. Wait a minute.

There's... there's something you ought to know.

This, uh... this drawing was rigged.

Rigged?

That's right.

Folks, would you show Henry what number you got?

Well, they've all got 44.

That's right.

Only they wasn't going to say anything.

That way, you would have to win.

And I still lost.

Well, I wouldn't be so sure.

What? What do you mean?

Well, Henry, look what everyone's trying to do

to prove you're not bad luck.

What Aunt Bee's trying to say

is that you got to believing that you're a jinx

and full of bad luck and everything.

And, well, I don't know how you figure it

but, the way I see it,

why, the luckiest thing a man can have is friendship.

Kind of friendship

these folks here tried to show you tonight.

With friends like that,

I don't hardly see how you can... you can be a loser.

Speaking of which... speaking of which...

Since Henry was going to win the TV anyway,

let's award it to him unanimously.

All right, let me through.

What say we just put the TV set

in the squad car right now?

And, Barney, you can drive Henry home.

Come on, Henry, Floyd, let's go.

Hey, Andy!

Huh?

You want me to drive him home?

Sure.

In our squad car?

That's right.

Well, come on, Barney.

What you doing?

I'm just looking for something.

If I'm driving him home, I better take a precaution.

Barney!

Hi, Red!

When are we going fishin', Paw?

We'll go in a few minutes.

Soon as Barney gets here.

Go on. Move. I got you cornered,

and I'm going to lower the boom on you.

Move.

Well, I guess there ain't much I can do.

Nope.

Oh, that's a good, outstanding move.

Now watch this.

Look, look, look.

Mm-mmm! Look at that.

Hey, wait a minute.

I won! I won! I beat Paw!

Did you see that, Barney?

I sure did.

How long you been standing there?

Long enough to see you pull that boo-boo.

That was a dilly.

Well, no wonder I lost.

Huh?

You hexed me. What?

Well, how else you explain me

gettin' so careless all of a sudden?

You was standing right behind me.

Aw, come on, Andy.

If I'd a knowed you was standing there,

I'd have rubbed Opie's head.

If you're goin' fishin', let's go fishin'.

I don't know we want you in the same boat with us,

you being a jinx and all.

Cut that out! Let's go.

Holy cow! It's beginning to storm.

Storm's coming up.

Yeah?

Huh.

Well, Bad Luck Barney, you've done it again.

Come here, Opie.

You're a riot. You know that?

Why don't you go someplace and have one?