Original subtitles

I don't understand. You didn't get any footage from the party?

I got plenty of footage.

Oodles of footage.

Just not in the last hour

because I left to follow a lead.

A suspect.

Well, despite our best efforts,

vinick is now fully aware that someone here hates his guts.

I will remind you both that if we don't secure this donation,

Wheeler college may just disappear off the map.

Pepto coffee? It's disgusting.

- No. - I'm good.

We should review everything from the time of the fire to be sure.

Yeah... I already tried.

It's not useful.

I think the file got corrupted or something,

but let's focus on the positives.

I mean, we have a big new clue, the note.

The original threat was emailed, but this is in the blackmailer's own handwriting.

Okay, I have a source, a former con artist

who specializes in this kind of thing.

Forgeries, ransom notes, lives nearby, so I'll head there now.

I'll go with you.

Okay.

I'm so excited.

My first meeting with an underworld source.

Julie, what a surprise.

Hi, Apollo. Is she in?

Maybe, but first, you gotta do something for me.

Read the first 1600 pages of my novel,

and tell me honestly if it's too close to little women.

- Bye, Apollo. - What. No.

Come on. You'll read it later, okay?

It's a story of four sisters who lived during civil war times in new England,

but not the civil war you're thinking about.

Vanessa, Julie's here.

Hey, who's this?

He... works with me. I need you to look at something.

Of course. Hang on, let me get my glasses.

I'm Charles, by the way.

Hey, Apollo lambrakis.

I live here, sexually.

Well, congratulations.

Thanks, it's great.

Just getting a little painting done right now.

I'm a contractor by trade.

If you need anything, give me a call.

- What's happening here? - Yeah.

I found a box of these in a dumpster.

I don't know who Dr. Lucy Patterson is.

I'm assuming she's dead.

Whoa, is that the case you're working on?

Wait a minute, am I a suspect?

I had nothing to do with it.

No. No, you're fine.

Okay, that's a relief?

You hungry?

I got baby carrots, and I got hummus.

It's organic.

Wow, that seems a little risky.

No, not really. I just gotta keep 'em straight.

This one's hummus.

This one's paint.

Now, hang on.

This is my bad.

They're both hummus.

No wonder this room smells delicious.

You taking off?

I'll talk to you later, Charles.

Whoever wrote this was smart enough to disguise their handwriting.

The handwriting isn't the clue. It's the pen. This isn't a ballpoint.

It's fancy.

Fountain pen.

See this dark streak in the middle of the horizontal lines?

There's a chip in the nib.

And whenever they press down hard, it releases extra ink.

Good catch.

Who would use a pen like that?

Artists like to use fountain pens to sketch line drawings.

Con artists like to use them

to forge degrees from Harvard business school.

Class of '81.

Vanessa, thank you. We'll be in touch.

You don't have to run. Lisichka, I could make a pot of coffee.

Sorry, work.

Or have those little cookies you like. I got some.

We're leaving.

Well, it was great to see you.

"Lisichka"?

Leave it alone.

"I got those little cookies you like"?

Vanessa

is my mom.

You didn't even hug her.

You barely even said hello.

We have a business relationship.

That's it.

But why?

And how?

And probably also when?

Okay.

I'm going to explain this one time. Then we do not discuss it again.

Okay.

Vanessa started pulling scams before I was in kindergarten.

Small-time stuff.

Over time, the scams got bigger.

More audacious.

And then one day,

the cops came to the door and... arrested her.

My dad, who is not Apollo...

- Thank god. - Was not in the picture.

So I had to go live with my grandparents because she had to go live in prison.

She ruined my life.

And also, as I found out many years later, ruined my credit.

I have repaired both, no thanks to her.

So I pay her for her expertise as a criminal when I need it,

and that is the extent of our interactions.

"Lisichka"?

Russian nickname my dad gave me when I was a baby.

It means "little fox." Annoyingly, she won't stop using it.

So this is why you became a pi.

No, it's not why.

Her being a criminal just put me... on a path.

I'm just... I'm just interested in the...

- It's why. - Okay, fine. Yes, it's why.

- Who cares? - I... okay.

You know, Emily and I went through a rough patch for a while.

We are not discussing this.

Stop asking questions about my mom.

Okay.

Focus on the case.

Hi there.

- Hey. - Hey.

I was just thinking about you.

Really? Neat.

Because I was also thinking about you.

Wanna grab some lunch?

That would be lovely.

Perfect. Let's do it.

Let's get some lunch.

- Actually, I can't. - Whoa.

Getting real mixed signals here.

I forgot. I'm... I'm... I'm meeting a friend.

Stupid friends. Stupid friends.

They ruin everything.

Just go have a lovely time with your friend.

And you know where to find me. Okay?

Okay.

Thank you.

Thank you for kissing me.

I can't tell whether you've gotten better or I've gotten worse.

I must have gotten worse because you stink.

I have to tell you something.

I met someone.

- Really? - Her name's Mona.

She's stunning.

And funny.

Talented.

Brilliant. And gorgeous.

And sexy.

Stunning, gorgeous, and sexy all mean the same thing.

Well, she's all of them.

We literally just met.

But every time I see her, I... sweat.

I stutter.

My heart races.

You sure it's not your thyroid? Could be your thyroid.

Calbert.

Is this okay?

What do you mean, is it okay?

You mean because of Victoria?

You mourned Victoria. You did right by her.

You don't honor her life by not living your own.

The only question is, is this something you want to pursue?

Yes.

Then go for it.

Now, how did you meet this heart-racing lady?

She's one of the suspects in my new case.

For god's sake.

I know. Kinda bad.

It's very bad.

You remember how I reacted when you told me you were a spy?

How's it gonna go when you tell your girlfriend you've been lying to her?

You cannot be in a relationship with someone you're lying to.

Charles, old boy.

You're a very observant fellow.

Now, recently, between us, I invested in a hair system.

Be honest.

Can you tell?

Not at all.

Money well spent.

Grazie.

What? I can't even lie to Grant?

Julie, exciting news.

Vanessa's information has led to a promising new suspect,

Dr. Elizabeth muki, m-u-k-i.

She runs the fine arts department.

She was present at the event last night, and get this,

she actually painted the portrait herself.

Tonight, after the museum closes, I'm gonna infiltrate her office,

maybe get lucky, and find the smoking pen.

Hi. Are you here for extension school class?

Sorry. No. I'm a visiting lecturer in engineering.

I'm just coming to look around.

We're usually closed now, but faculty can come anytime.

Are you Elizabeth muki?

Yeah, that's me. Or you can call me Betsy.

And you must be Charles?

Mona told me that she met you the other night.

She mentioned me? What did she say about me, exactly?

Honestly, that whole night was a blur because,

my painting was set on fire in protest.

Wow. You painted that portrait.

Jeez, that's... that's intense.

Sorry about that.

Yeah. Yeah, thanks.

I just hope we didn't scare that guy away.

I know we're suspicious of corporate types around here,

but the museum could really use his money.

Sure, sure.

So you don't remember anything she said about me?

Ask her yourself.

- Hello. - Hi. Hey.

Hi.

Fancy meeting you here.

I like your trench coat.

You look like a spy.

That's... That's a ridiculous assertion.

I just came to look around.

What are you doing here?

Betsy's figure drawing class.

Hey, you still owe me a lunch. How about tomorrow?

Yeah, that should work. Let me just check my... schedule here.

I have... let's see.

Yeah, I have office hours at 11, but after that, I am free all day.

Whoa.

You're the noodle. Nude model.

I am. Yes. Every week.

Do me a favor and throw those on that chair over there.

I'll see you tomorrow.

Get it together, nieuwendyk.

It's just a naked woman. You've seen hundreds of them.

You've seen four of them.

My god.

No.

I can't work like this.

My...

Jesus.

Okay. Okay.

Nope.

God, is all art naked?

Okay.

You're... my god. You're all over the place.

You have a visitor.

You're not supposed to show up unannounced.

I know.

But you ignored all my calls.

That's what people do when they don't want to talk to other people.

I need to tell you something.

I don't want you to pay me anymore.

I want to help you with your work, but I want to help because...

You're my daughter and...

And not because I'm on your payroll.

Well, I prefer to keep things professional.

It's cleaner that way.

You do work. I pay you. We don't owe each other anything.

What's this?

Every dollar you've insisted on paying me over the years.

I never wanted any of it, so I never spent any of it.

Mother-daughter relationships

aren't supposed to be clean and professional.

If I can't be your mom, then I don't want to be your source.

If you insist.

Sorry to see you go.

Everything okay?

Put this into petty cash for me.

No! No.

- Good job. - Thank you.

- So you didn't find any pens that matched? - Nope.

Did a methodical search. Very professional. But no luck.

Muki wants vinick's money for the museum,

so she's not a top suspect anyway.

All right. Then we move on.

Who's next?

Mona margadoff.

What do you know about her?

Music teacher.

Pretty unremarkable.

Stays fully clothed all the time, as far as I know.

Okay. Well, look into her.

Start one of your famous dossiers.

I don't think I need to. She didn't do it.

- How do you know that? - Gut.

Mostly just gut.

Also... instinct.

Well, she was on Holly's list, and she was at the party.

So maybe your gut should take a back seat to actual investigative work.

- That... - hey.

This is the juicy case you wanted, man.

Work the case.

Julie, it's 8:53 P.M.

I just wanted to apologize for our conversation earlier.

As you pointed out, Mona margadoff is indeed

a potential suspect, just like anyone else.

So, beginning now,

I'm going to use various undercover techniques

to secretly gather information about her,

never letting on, not even for a second...

That I am a private investigator.

- I'm a private investigator. - What?

I'm an undercover private investigator.

I recorded our first kiss with a spy camera.

But I deleted it. It wasn't pervy.

Also, I stole your purse, for the case,

and I feel bad about it

because even though we just met... I like you.

And I don't want to lie to you.

Anymore.

Anyway, this is all under the heading of.

I'm an undercover private investigator.

You burned your cover on purpose to a suspect?!

First of all, Mona is not a suspect.

I guarantee we can trust her.

Just ask her. Mona!

Wha... she... she's here?

You brought her here?

I have never been in a real detective's office before.

It's less interesting than I would have imagined.

Have you told anyone else about Charles?

- Of course not. He made me promise. - I made her promise.

Well. As long as she promised.

Why? Why in the world would you do this?

Well, to be honest, it was something that calbert said to me.

What could calbert have possibly said to make you do this?

I mean, you could just ask him.

My god.

I did not tell him to confess.

I told him he can't have a relationship built on lies.

I assumed he was gonna break it off with her.

No offense. You seem terrific. I've heard a lot about you.

I've heard a lot about you.

You used to work at the Pentagon.

I was once arrested at a rally outside the Pentagon.

Small world.

This is so wonderful.

You guys meeting. That's why I invited him.

- We were going to have breakfast after... - everybody shut up.

Charles, stay.

You two, scram.

Are you still down for a breakfast burrito?

- Charles said you love breakfast burritos. - I do, and I'd love one.

So I know an incredible place down the street.

My treat.

- Julie, do you want anything? - Out.

You are on extremely thin ice.

That woman may be the perp that we're looking for.

Mona didn't do it.

She couldn't have.

Because she was with me.

She was with you?

Of course.

She was the lead you were chasing down

when you were supposed to be at the party.

And she was with me the whole time.

Are you sure?

The whole time?

Well, that was certainly...

Yes, the whole time.

Julie, look, I'm sorry, but this is bigger than the case.

I... I didn't think that I could have this in my life again.

Another chance at a meaningful relationship at my age?

You of all people should understand that.

- The hell is that supposed to mean? - Your mom.

Your mom wants what I want, a second chance.

And if you didn't really, down deep,

want a relationship with her, you wouldn't keep seeking her out.

You want to give her a second chance. You're just...

You're too stubborn to admit it.

My relationship with my estranged mother,

which you know nothing about,

and which is none of your business,

is not an excuse to screw up my case.

And that's what this is, by the way.

It's my case.

Mona is my suspect.

You are my employee.

And if you don't understand that, then you won't be my employee.

- You... - this conversation is over.

I'm really sorry this caused so much trouble.

So, what's our next step?

Lie low and hope Julie doesn't fire me.

Charles, I know we don't know each other very well,

but no matter what happens,

I'm glad you told me the truth.

It gives me a good feeling about you, and...

I already had a good feeling about you.

You will figure this out, I promise.

But the only clue I have is this theoretical pen.

It's like looking for a needle in a haystack.

That party was a cash bar, right?

At Wheeler, it's always a cash bar.

Why?

So that's what it's like when I do that.

It's annoying.

I cannot believe Charles.

I started working on a cover story in case we need to pull him.

He said I don't understand my own feelings about my mom.

The hell does he know?

I mean, he's a pretty good detective.

- Don't tell me you agree. - I didn't say that.

I do agree. I didn't say it because you're scary. I'm scared of you.

I'm going to explain something to you, okay?

Vanessa and I have a purely professional relationship.

Had. Apparently, it's over, which is fine.

I'm fine with it. That's all I wanted from her.

She was my source.

She was one of my many, many sources.

You know? And... and the fact that I used her as a source,

it just doesn't mean anything.

Okay, fine, fine.

I pay to see my mom on a semi-weekly basis.

Who cares?

It's not that weird. It's not like I'm like, "boo-hoo."

Like, "mommy, can we please rekindle our relationship

so I can actually have a real mom in my life

without needing to be an emotionally vulnerable person

and tell you how I feel and..."

Crap.

Hey, Julie.

Word of caution.

My Guinea pig, joni Mitchell, has escaped from her cage,

and she's in a mood.

Okay? So get in here, but leave your shoes on.

She's a biter.

I'll tell Vanessa you're here.

Joni! Joni!

- Hi. - Hi, Vanessa.

Hi, mom.

Okay.

Okay.

"I would like to examine the possibility

of having a non-work-related relationship with you."

- Sweetheart. - Just wait. Just wait.

I wrote this out, and I need to get it exactly.

"I'm not sure what that would look like, and I need it to move very slowly."

"If these terms are acceptable to you,"

"check this box and return it."

I'm sorry. I was considering just leaving this on the doorstep.

I made a lot of mistakes.

All I ever wanted was for you to forgive me.

And I will do literally anything to make that happen.

Okay.

Found her!

I found joni Mitchell.

She was in the toilet.

There's no way we're gonna find that pen,

but we don't have to if we find another piece of paper it wrote on.

The dining hall caters all the school events,

and it's almost always a cash bar

because the school is broke.

Which means people sign credit card receipts.

If we can get a hold of receipts from the night of vinick's party,

we might find a match,

and it will literally be the name of the person who wrote the note.

Look.

I made a judgment call telling Mona.

I knew the risks, and I'm sorry if you don't like it.

But either fire me or let me keep going.

Your choice.

Yeah, I know because that's what being a boss is,

and I'll remind you that I am your boss.

I went to see my mom.

We're going to try and do whatever it is people do

in these situations.

Well, I think that's great.

And that's all I'll say.

Look, we're on the right track.

I can feel it.

We're gonna have hard evidence as soon as I find that receipt.

I hope you're right.

Give me a second here.

Thank you for looking.

I think I used my personal card instead of my business card.

Need those miles.

Yeah, you gotta get the miles.

I don't see the receipts from that night.

I must have sent them in already.

Okay, thanks for looking.

Hey, Charles.

How's it going? What's the,

haps, as they say?

I was just trying to switch out a credit card

I used at the party.

What are you doing?

I wanted to see what was for lunch tomorrow.

Beef stew.

That's great.

That's my favorite thing to... put beef in.

Okay, bye.

Julie? Looks like there's a new potato in our clue stew.

The potato is a suspect.

Griffin is the potato.

The stew is the case.

I'm gonna start over.