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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:11,511 --> 00:00:13,072 You wore my favorite tie. 2 00:00:13,096 --> 00:00:14,949 That's my only tie. 3 00:00:14,973 --> 00:00:16,450 No, I'm kidding. 4 00:00:16,474 --> 00:00:17,976 I have so many ties. 5 00:00:19,310 --> 00:00:21,104 - Right. - Yeah. 6 00:00:23,273 --> 00:00:25,918 - I think I should go. - What? No. 7 00:00:25,942 --> 00:00:29,839 - I think the night should end, don't you? - The night doesn't have to end now. 8 00:00:29,863 --> 00:00:32,800 How exactly do you see the night ending, then? 9 00:00:32,824 --> 00:00:35,761 I don't know. Maybe we stay the night. 10 00:00:35,785 --> 00:00:38,121 Slip into some of those fancy robes they have. 11 00:00:39,122 --> 00:00:42,000 - I'm gonna see if they have rooms open. - Okay. 12 00:00:46,921 --> 00:00:48,381 Can I buy you a drink? 13 00:00:49,466 --> 00:00:50,526 Sorry? 14 00:00:50,550 --> 00:00:52,069 I'd like to buy you a drink. 15 00:00:52,093 --> 00:00:55,406 How about a... Martini? Yeah. 16 00:00:55,430 --> 00:00:58,284 A vodka Martini for the lady. 17 00:00:58,308 --> 00:01:01,394 - I'm actually with my boyfriend. - That guy? He's no good for you. 18 00:01:02,103 --> 00:01:04,064 You'd be better off with someone else. 19 00:01:05,231 --> 00:01:07,209 Aren't you a little old for me? 20 00:01:07,233 --> 00:01:11,255 I am indeed, but I'm not buying you a drink to hit on you. 21 00:01:11,279 --> 00:01:13,198 Why else would you buy me a drink? 22 00:01:14,074 --> 00:01:15,426 What's going on? 23 00:01:15,450 --> 00:01:18,262 This guy bought me a drink. Says you're no good for me. 24 00:01:18,286 --> 00:01:19,621 Yeah? 25 00:01:20,121 --> 00:01:22,266 Mind your own business, grandpa. 26 00:01:22,290 --> 00:01:23,500 Well, that's the thing, Steve. 27 00:01:24,501 --> 00:01:26,020 This is my business. 28 00:01:26,044 --> 00:01:28,272 See, I'm a private investigator. 29 00:01:28,296 --> 00:01:29,607 I was hired by your wife, 30 00:01:29,631 --> 00:01:33,027 Donna... to figure out whether you were having an affair. 31 00:01:33,051 --> 00:01:35,970 And since that's not Donna, it seems like you are. 32 00:01:37,222 --> 00:01:38,973 Yeah. Married. 33 00:01:39,682 --> 00:01:43,329 Last week, when he canceled your dinner 'cause he was called into surgery, 34 00:01:43,353 --> 00:01:46,248 he was actually at his kid's dance recital. 35 00:01:46,272 --> 00:01:48,542 And he's not a surgeon. 36 00:01:48,566 --> 00:01:50,252 He manages a pep boys. 37 00:01:50,276 --> 00:01:52,463 Hey, hey, hey, look. 38 00:01:52,487 --> 00:01:54,173 I don't know what she's paying you, 39 00:01:54,197 --> 00:01:57,635 but I will double it if you forget what you saw here tonight. 40 00:01:57,659 --> 00:02:00,870 Plus, free oil changes for life. 41 00:02:01,579 --> 00:02:03,873 That's not how this works, chum. 42 00:02:04,457 --> 00:02:07,019 You see, private investigators like myself, 43 00:02:07,043 --> 00:02:09,897 we obey a strict code of honor. 44 00:02:09,921 --> 00:02:11,398 We don't do this for the money. 45 00:02:11,422 --> 00:02:13,984 We do this to pursue the truth. 46 00:02:14,008 --> 00:02:17,822 Because the truth is all that... jeez! 47 00:02:17,846 --> 00:02:19,490 I'm so sorry. 48 00:02:19,514 --> 00:02:21,266 My leg's asleep. 49 00:02:21,766 --> 00:02:22,952 That ever happen to you? 50 00:02:22,976 --> 00:02:24,662 Brother! Man! 51 00:02:24,686 --> 00:02:26,813 I must have sat on that stool too long. 52 00:02:27,605 --> 00:02:29,816 Just give... give me a second here. 53 00:02:31,442 --> 00:02:34,630 It feels so weird. It's like, whose leg is this? 54 00:02:34,654 --> 00:02:36,090 Shoot. 55 00:02:36,114 --> 00:02:37,407 Anyway, 56 00:02:38,950 --> 00:02:40,910 you folks have a great night. 57 00:02:43,288 --> 00:02:45,099 See now why I got you that drink? 58 00:02:52,964 --> 00:02:54,799 Nice composition. 59 00:02:55,508 --> 00:02:59,738 You're really coming into your own as a photographer of gross dudes. 60 00:02:59,762 --> 00:03:02,056 - Had a lot of practice. - Yep. 61 00:03:02,640 --> 00:03:05,476 - They're always cheating. - They're always cheating. 62 00:03:06,352 --> 00:03:09,373 Nine cases in the last year. They're all the same. 63 00:03:09,397 --> 00:03:12,209 Client says, "I think he's having an affair." 64 00:03:12,233 --> 00:03:15,296 I follow the guy for a couple of days. 65 00:03:15,320 --> 00:03:18,048 Then I catch him in a very suave way 66 00:03:18,072 --> 00:03:20,593 where my body functions normally. 67 00:03:20,617 --> 00:03:24,555 - What? - I want a real pi case. 68 00:03:24,579 --> 00:03:26,640 Something I can sink my teeth into. 69 00:03:26,664 --> 00:03:30,019 Something juicy like... Like pacific view. 70 00:03:30,043 --> 00:03:32,688 Okay. First of all, you're not a real pi. 71 00:03:32,712 --> 00:03:34,398 You're an unlicensed trainee. 72 00:03:34,422 --> 00:03:37,818 Second, these cases, the ones that you've been assisting on, 73 00:03:37,842 --> 00:03:39,069 this is the job. 74 00:03:39,093 --> 00:03:41,572 Most pi work isn't juicy. 75 00:03:41,596 --> 00:03:42,722 It's dull. 76 00:03:43,640 --> 00:03:45,558 Pacific view was one in a million. 77 00:03:47,727 --> 00:03:49,330 We have a walk-in. 78 00:03:49,354 --> 00:03:50,539 Julie kovalenko? 79 00:03:50,563 --> 00:03:52,124 - Yes. - Jack berenger. 80 00:03:52,148 --> 00:03:55,211 President of Wheeler college. This is our provost, Holly bodgemark. 81 00:03:55,235 --> 00:03:57,546 Provost is basically vice president. 82 00:03:57,570 --> 00:04:00,424 I was gonna Google it after they left. What can we do for you? 83 00:04:00,448 --> 00:04:03,076 This morning, my laptop was stolen. 84 00:04:04,577 --> 00:04:08,641 Okay. I don't think you need to hire a private investigator. 85 00:04:08,665 --> 00:04:10,625 What's the laptop worth? A thousand bucks? 86 00:04:11,417 --> 00:04:14,587 This laptop is worth four hundred million dollars. 87 00:04:16,798 --> 00:04:17,798 Juicy. 88 00:04:19,259 --> 00:04:20,945 These are standard ndas. 89 00:04:20,969 --> 00:04:24,990 Regardless of whether we take the case, everything will stay within these walls. 90 00:04:25,014 --> 00:04:27,684 Good. Because this is a delicate situation. 91 00:04:28,351 --> 00:04:32,206 I've been president of Wheeler college for two years. 92 00:04:32,230 --> 00:04:33,582 Ever since I arrived, 93 00:04:33,606 --> 00:04:36,669 I've been trying to get our richest graduate to make a donation. 94 00:04:36,693 --> 00:04:39,880 His name is Brad vinick, ceo of vinick capital. 95 00:04:39,904 --> 00:04:41,406 I know that name. 96 00:04:42,073 --> 00:04:45,261 Wait. Is he "what else am I supposed to do?" 97 00:04:45,285 --> 00:04:47,596 I will not apologize for being successful. 98 00:04:47,620 --> 00:04:51,225 These complaints about my private jet use are absurd. 99 00:04:51,249 --> 00:04:55,729 Your plane has made two round-trip flights from San Francisco to Aspen 100 00:04:55,753 --> 00:04:57,815 every day for four years. 101 00:04:57,839 --> 00:05:00,901 My dog is in San Francisco. 102 00:05:00,925 --> 00:05:03,886 My dog Walker is in Aspen. 103 00:05:04,762 --> 00:05:06,824 What else am I supposed to do? 104 00:05:06,848 --> 00:05:10,911 That unfortunate interview notwithstanding, 105 00:05:10,935 --> 00:05:13,580 vinick is worth about six billion dollars. 106 00:05:13,604 --> 00:05:15,291 Like all small colleges, 107 00:05:15,315 --> 00:05:18,919 Wheeler is struggling, and it is a really special place. 108 00:05:18,943 --> 00:05:20,296 You don't have to tell me. 109 00:05:20,320 --> 00:05:21,547 My daughter went there. 110 00:05:21,571 --> 00:05:22,798 And my son-in-law. 111 00:05:22,822 --> 00:05:25,175 Love to hear it. Go, acorns. 112 00:05:25,199 --> 00:05:28,679 I got vinick to pledge 400 million to keep Wheeler afloat. 113 00:05:28,703 --> 00:05:30,764 We shook hands on the terms last night. 114 00:05:30,788 --> 00:05:33,350 This morning, I got to my office, my laptop was stolen, 115 00:05:33,374 --> 00:05:38,087 and I received this email from somebody called "Wheeler guardian." 116 00:05:40,048 --> 00:05:42,151 "Brad vinick is a lying snake." 117 00:05:42,175 --> 00:05:46,846 "You take one dollar of his blood money, I spill all your secrets." 118 00:05:47,347 --> 00:05:49,974 - What secrets are on your laptop? - Hell if I know. 119 00:05:50,475 --> 00:05:52,453 That doesn't matter. It's messy. 120 00:05:52,477 --> 00:05:54,330 And billionaires hate messy. 121 00:05:54,354 --> 00:05:57,458 I don't want him freaking out if he finds out that two years ago 122 00:05:57,482 --> 00:05:59,817 I had a botched calf implant in Miami. 123 00:06:00,485 --> 00:06:01,545 Hypothetically. 124 00:06:01,569 --> 00:06:04,882 We can't go to the police because we can't afford a scandal, 125 00:06:04,906 --> 00:06:07,343 but the actual contract won't be signed for months. 126 00:06:07,367 --> 00:06:12,014 And if the blackmailer succeeds in sabotaging vinick's donation, 127 00:06:12,038 --> 00:06:15,309 Wheeler college may just disappear. 128 00:06:15,333 --> 00:06:17,895 Well, let us talk it over. 129 00:06:17,919 --> 00:06:20,046 There's no need. We'll take the case. 130 00:06:22,090 --> 00:06:25,218 This is clearly an inside job. 131 00:06:26,469 --> 00:06:30,783 Every single faculty member could be a suspect, 132 00:06:30,807 --> 00:06:34,161 which means you have to find someone from outside the school 133 00:06:34,185 --> 00:06:37,397 to go undercover and investigate. 134 00:06:38,022 --> 00:06:42,652 Your only chance to save Wheeler college is if you have... 135 00:06:49,992 --> 00:06:53,305 Okay, let's start with the basics. That's your ID card on top. 136 00:06:53,329 --> 00:06:55,391 That gets you into any door on campus. 137 00:06:55,415 --> 00:06:57,893 Also, inside the folder is the list you requested. 138 00:06:57,917 --> 00:07:00,711 Everyone working on campus the night the laptop was stolen. 139 00:07:01,295 --> 00:07:04,525 Students don't arrive until next week, so for now it's just faculty. 140 00:07:04,549 --> 00:07:06,819 How many of these people knew about the donation? 141 00:07:06,843 --> 00:07:07,736 No way to know. 142 00:07:07,760 --> 00:07:11,949 It hasn't been announced officially, but gossip travels fast around here. 143 00:07:11,973 --> 00:07:14,368 The laptop was stolen off Jack's desk next door. 144 00:07:14,392 --> 00:07:16,078 I can show you his office. 145 00:07:16,102 --> 00:07:20,416 It used to be four small offices, but Jack had it remodeled. 146 00:07:20,440 --> 00:07:24,795 He said he needed a private bathroom more than he needed an hr department. 147 00:07:24,819 --> 00:07:28,531 Please don't touch anything. Jack is very fastidious. 148 00:07:29,323 --> 00:07:33,262 Okay, we should start by reviewing any camera footage that you have 149 00:07:33,286 --> 00:07:36,723 along with geolocation data from the swipe cards. 150 00:07:36,747 --> 00:07:38,725 We should start that way, but we can't 151 00:07:38,749 --> 00:07:42,712 because our cameras broke years ago, and we can't afford to get them fixed. 152 00:07:44,839 --> 00:07:45,732 Aspirin? 153 00:07:45,756 --> 00:07:47,258 Nicotine gum. 154 00:07:47,758 --> 00:07:49,069 I don't even chew it anymore. 155 00:07:49,093 --> 00:07:51,697 It works faster if it goes right to the stomach. 156 00:07:51,721 --> 00:07:53,949 How many people had access to this room? 157 00:07:53,973 --> 00:07:56,452 Anyone with a swipe card, which is everyone. 158 00:07:56,476 --> 00:07:59,288 And to answer your next question, our system is so old, 159 00:07:59,312 --> 00:08:01,498 we can't even track who went in what door. 160 00:08:01,522 --> 00:08:04,251 Friday we are unveiling vinick's official portrait 161 00:08:04,275 --> 00:08:06,253 as a "distinguished graduate." 162 00:08:06,277 --> 00:08:07,963 Part of the charm offensive. 163 00:08:07,987 --> 00:08:09,965 Most on that list will be at the party. 164 00:08:09,989 --> 00:08:13,218 Okay, since Charles is undercover, you likely won't see me 165 00:08:13,242 --> 00:08:14,803 unless we meet at my office. 166 00:08:14,827 --> 00:08:16,829 I am off to a meeting for another case. 167 00:08:17,413 --> 00:08:18,932 See you at the party. 168 00:08:18,956 --> 00:08:23,211 Until then, I will be engaging in plop. 169 00:08:26,881 --> 00:08:29,675 Prepare, learn, observe, pursue. 170 00:08:31,802 --> 00:08:33,095 Is that a spy term? 171 00:08:33,596 --> 00:08:34,865 It's a famous one. 172 00:08:34,889 --> 00:08:40,311 I'm not sure who invented it... Some genius, probably. 173 00:08:41,479 --> 00:08:43,856 Okay, off to plop. 174 00:08:44,482 --> 00:08:47,360 It's so much worse when you use it as a verb. 175 00:08:58,955 --> 00:09:00,390 Hi. Now a good time? 176 00:09:00,414 --> 00:09:01,725 Yeah. Come in. 177 00:09:01,749 --> 00:09:02,809 Have a seat. 178 00:09:02,833 --> 00:09:06,772 Can I get you anything? Water, calcium supplement, knee brace? 179 00:09:06,796 --> 00:09:07,689 I'm good. 180 00:09:07,713 --> 00:09:12,861 Okay, so my stupid company keeps merging with other stupid companies. 181 00:09:12,885 --> 00:09:15,906 "Bynum southwest pacific is forming a strategic partnership 182 00:09:15,930 --> 00:09:17,908 with northeast Atlantic retirement." 183 00:09:17,932 --> 00:09:22,829 "The new company will be called southwest northeast Atlantic pacific." 184 00:09:22,853 --> 00:09:24,122 - Catchy. - Yeah. 185 00:09:24,146 --> 00:09:28,001 So we're gonna have new employees, and we need to do some background checks. 186 00:09:28,025 --> 00:09:29,151 Do you want the job? 187 00:09:31,279 --> 00:09:35,300 Well, to be honest, I'm a little surprised you want to hire me, 188 00:09:35,324 --> 00:09:36,969 given that you once called me 189 00:09:36,993 --> 00:09:41,372 a remorseless, bottom-feeding, two-faced rat. 190 00:09:42,206 --> 00:09:44,017 Yeah, I did. 191 00:09:44,041 --> 00:09:45,769 But that's water under the bridge. 192 00:09:45,793 --> 00:09:49,565 I gotta admit, you did a great job on the case with Gladys. 193 00:09:49,589 --> 00:09:52,258 And I'd rather have somebody I know in charge of this. 194 00:09:53,509 --> 00:09:55,845 - Okay, yeah. Send me the files. - Great. 195 00:09:56,679 --> 00:10:00,266 Hey, Nancy's stuck in her bathtub again, and she's not alone. 196 00:10:01,183 --> 00:10:04,270 Hey, froggy. How's it going? You wanna help me with something? 197 00:10:05,855 --> 00:10:09,960 Well, by all means, save Wheeler college. I... it's the best. 198 00:10:09,984 --> 00:10:14,089 Do you realize that it's almost the 25-year anniversary of when we met? 199 00:10:14,113 --> 00:10:16,717 Tell me again how it happened exactly? 200 00:10:16,741 --> 00:10:20,721 Well, we were on the freshman orientation camping trip. 201 00:10:20,745 --> 00:10:22,097 Literally, day one. 202 00:10:22,121 --> 00:10:25,684 And I looked at him, and he looked at me. 203 00:10:25,708 --> 00:10:29,062 And I said, "do you know anything about camping?" 204 00:10:29,086 --> 00:10:31,607 And I said, "not one thing." 205 00:10:31,631 --> 00:10:37,595 And then we smiled at each other, and I felt like I got struck by lightning. 206 00:10:38,638 --> 00:10:42,200 And then, like, two weeks later, she introduced me to you guys? 207 00:10:42,224 --> 00:10:45,912 I remember. You had a very interesting hairdo. 208 00:10:45,936 --> 00:10:50,250 Look, Adam duritz of the counting crows convinced a lot of guys my age 209 00:10:50,274 --> 00:10:52,002 that they could pull off dreads. 210 00:10:52,026 --> 00:10:53,920 I made a lot of bad choices. 211 00:10:53,944 --> 00:10:55,547 And one great one. 212 00:10:55,571 --> 00:10:57,698 - Good save! - Ha-ha. 213 00:11:03,454 --> 00:11:06,391 Julie, it's 7:12 A.M., day five. 214 00:11:06,415 --> 00:11:09,353 This is the first of my weekly reports. 215 00:11:09,377 --> 00:11:14,232 I once again object to doing these weekly instead of daily. 216 00:11:14,256 --> 00:11:15,651 Too bad. They're boring. 217 00:11:15,675 --> 00:11:17,653 I know you think they're boring. 218 00:11:17,677 --> 00:11:22,032 But in a case like this, every detail is crucial. 219 00:11:22,056 --> 00:11:28,938 My class will meet Monday and Wednesday in Burnham hall, room 331. 220 00:11:29,438 --> 00:11:33,210 Fun fact. Thornton Burnham, for whom the building was named... 221 00:11:33,234 --> 00:11:34,234 Boring. 222 00:11:36,362 --> 00:11:37,756 The campus is small. 223 00:11:37,780 --> 00:11:41,551 It's only about 116 acres. 224 00:11:41,575 --> 00:11:47,891 That's just shy, and I do mean just shy, of 47 hectares. 225 00:11:47,915 --> 00:11:50,352 My god. 226 00:11:50,376 --> 00:11:54,064 Anyway, during my first week of plop, 227 00:11:54,088 --> 00:11:57,234 I met a number of possible suspects. 228 00:11:57,258 --> 00:12:00,529 Andrea yi, professor of economics. 229 00:12:00,553 --> 00:12:01,571 Very upbeat. 230 00:12:01,595 --> 00:12:03,490 You must be going to this event on Friday. 231 00:12:03,514 --> 00:12:05,492 Who is Brad vinick? 232 00:12:05,516 --> 00:12:09,437 He's a multibillionaire grad, supposedly making a huge donation. 233 00:12:10,146 --> 00:12:12,207 Hopefully some of it goes to the econ department 234 00:12:12,231 --> 00:12:14,960 because god knows I could really use a raise. 235 00:12:14,984 --> 00:12:18,630 You know, I haven't bought a new bra in six years. 236 00:12:18,654 --> 00:12:21,323 That's not your problem, though. 237 00:12:21,824 --> 00:12:24,094 - It's nice to meet you. - You too. 238 00:12:24,118 --> 00:12:26,036 Not a likely suspect. 239 00:12:26,704 --> 00:12:27,973 Max Griffin. 240 00:12:27,997 --> 00:12:30,225 Assistant professor of journalism. 241 00:12:30,249 --> 00:12:34,563 Just published a book called the fourth estate: 242 00:12:34,587 --> 00:12:36,440 America's first line of defense 243 00:12:36,464 --> 00:12:39,568 against the second coming of the third reich. 244 00:12:39,592 --> 00:12:41,236 Excited to read it. 245 00:12:41,260 --> 00:12:43,512 Don't be. It's terrifying. 246 00:12:44,013 --> 00:12:45,240 You a motorcycle guy? 247 00:12:45,264 --> 00:12:46,265 How'd you know? 248 00:12:48,934 --> 00:12:52,789 I always forget I'm carrying this thing around with me. 249 00:12:52,813 --> 00:12:55,733 I'm guessing you're not a big Brad vinick fan. 250 00:12:56,358 --> 00:12:58,086 You going to that party Friday? 251 00:12:58,110 --> 00:13:01,864 I'm not interested in kissing the ass of a billionaire corporate oligarch. 252 00:13:02,782 --> 00:13:05,951 But they do serve these amazing tiny empanadas, so. 253 00:13:06,827 --> 00:13:08,037 I might stop by. 254 00:13:09,455 --> 00:13:12,058 Slavoj tshibili from linguistics. 255 00:13:12,082 --> 00:13:15,479 And järkko hövinen, professor of semiotics. 256 00:13:15,503 --> 00:13:19,191 What exactly is semiotics? I've never really known. 257 00:13:19,215 --> 00:13:24,512 - It's a complicated subject. - Yeah. It's hard to define. 258 00:13:25,012 --> 00:13:28,950 Contemporary post-plumfellian language analysis investigates phonology. 259 00:13:28,974 --> 00:13:31,828 - But I did spot real... - yeah, you miss the point, järkko. 260 00:13:31,852 --> 00:13:34,664 You must start with signifier and signified. 261 00:13:34,688 --> 00:13:37,209 Move through structuralism to post-structuralism. 262 00:13:37,233 --> 00:13:39,085 Framework to put it inside. 263 00:13:39,109 --> 00:13:41,379 - What kind of... - it is going to come... 264 00:13:41,403 --> 00:13:44,132 I talked to them for about 20 minutes. 265 00:13:44,156 --> 00:13:48,053 No idea what they said. Let's just assume they're not suspects. 266 00:13:48,077 --> 00:13:50,472 But I may know someone who is. 267 00:13:50,496 --> 00:13:53,683 Charles nieuwendyk, visiting lecturer in engineering. 268 00:13:53,707 --> 00:13:56,770 This is Dr. Benjamin Cole, head of our English department. 269 00:13:56,794 --> 00:14:00,816 Dr. Cole is a Wheeler college lifer and a very dear friend. 270 00:14:00,840 --> 00:14:03,926 And yes, before you ask, he has always been this way. 271 00:14:06,262 --> 00:14:09,282 So what's your specialty within the department? 272 00:14:09,306 --> 00:14:13,370 I teach romantic poetry and the 19th century novel. 273 00:14:13,394 --> 00:14:15,437 Just one novel? Sounds easy. 274 00:14:16,814 --> 00:14:17,814 Droll. 275 00:14:18,440 --> 00:14:21,086 If you'll excuse me, I have to get ready. 276 00:14:21,110 --> 00:14:24,381 I assume you're going to the cocktail party later 277 00:14:24,405 --> 00:14:25,549 for Brad vinick? 278 00:14:25,573 --> 00:14:28,593 I am, out of professional necessity. 279 00:14:28,617 --> 00:14:30,178 You don't approve of vinick? 280 00:14:30,202 --> 00:14:32,597 Do I approve of vinick? 281 00:14:32,621 --> 00:14:35,374 Did antigonus approve of etesias? 282 00:14:35,958 --> 00:14:37,018 Boy, I don't know. 283 00:14:37,042 --> 00:14:39,920 No, I apologize. I forgot what you teach. 284 00:14:40,754 --> 00:14:43,567 Well, I'll ask it in a way you can understand. 285 00:14:43,591 --> 00:14:46,736 Did Garfield approve of not having lasagne? 286 00:14:46,760 --> 00:14:49,346 Come on, now. 287 00:14:49,847 --> 00:14:52,659 Engineering is an advanced science. 288 00:14:52,683 --> 00:14:54,035 Yes. 289 00:14:54,059 --> 00:14:56,186 That bridge is big. 290 00:14:56,687 --> 00:14:58,898 What if we built one that's bigger? 291 00:14:59,398 --> 00:15:01,233 Fascinating stuff. 292 00:15:02,484 --> 00:15:05,404 Dr. Benjamin Cole is my first suspect. 293 00:15:05,905 --> 00:15:08,782 He's prickly, has an axe to grind, 294 00:15:09,783 --> 00:15:11,344 and he kinda hurt my feelings. 295 00:15:11,368 --> 00:15:12,971 More later. 296 00:15:12,995 --> 00:15:15,372 - Nieuwendyk out. - Okay. 297 00:15:16,498 --> 00:15:18,459 Okay. Any headlines? 298 00:15:18,959 --> 00:15:20,228 Couple small things. 299 00:15:20,252 --> 00:15:23,607 One woman left her job quite suddenly, but I think it's innocent. 300 00:15:23,631 --> 00:15:26,443 The other was just a public intoxication charge from college. 301 00:15:26,467 --> 00:15:29,094 That's a load off my mind. 302 00:15:30,095 --> 00:15:31,305 Thanks so much. 303 00:15:32,139 --> 00:15:33,724 So, how you been? 304 00:15:34,224 --> 00:15:36,077 Working any hot new cases? 305 00:15:36,101 --> 00:15:37,454 Yeah, we've been busy. 306 00:15:37,478 --> 00:15:38,663 Good. Same. 307 00:15:38,687 --> 00:15:42,667 Actually, corporate just told me I have eight weeks of vacation 308 00:15:42,691 --> 00:15:44,502 I have to take by the end of the year. 309 00:15:44,526 --> 00:15:46,254 I have no idea where to go. 310 00:15:46,278 --> 00:15:47,529 Any recommendations? 311 00:15:48,280 --> 00:15:49,341 Hawaii. 312 00:15:49,365 --> 00:15:51,075 Yeah? You love it there? 313 00:15:51,784 --> 00:15:55,079 I've never been. I don't take vacations, but I've heard people like it. 314 00:15:57,498 --> 00:16:00,000 Yes, I've also heard people enjoy 315 00:16:00,918 --> 00:16:01,919 Hawaii. 316 00:16:04,338 --> 00:16:06,715 Okay. Well, thank you so much. 317 00:16:14,014 --> 00:16:15,075 Hey. 318 00:16:15,099 --> 00:16:17,142 Everything good at pacific view? 319 00:16:18,435 --> 00:16:21,814 Maybe. What do you remember about didi Santos cordero? 320 00:16:22,481 --> 00:16:24,668 Beloved leader, caught you red-handed. 321 00:16:24,692 --> 00:16:27,212 Called you a remorseless, bottom-feeding, two-faced rat 322 00:16:27,236 --> 00:16:29,172 in an email I deleted before you read it. 323 00:16:29,196 --> 00:16:32,467 I read it. She hated my guts, right? 324 00:16:32,491 --> 00:16:35,845 Until you and Charles went and apologized or whatever, yeah. 325 00:16:35,869 --> 00:16:37,496 Anything I can help with? 326 00:16:38,831 --> 00:16:39,873 No. 327 00:17:14,450 --> 00:17:15,743 Pretty ugly, isn't he? 328 00:17:16,827 --> 00:17:17,929 Sorry? 329 00:17:17,953 --> 00:17:20,289 The... him? 330 00:17:21,331 --> 00:17:23,208 The him, yes. 331 00:17:24,001 --> 00:17:26,896 I mean, I suppose he's classically handsome. 332 00:17:26,920 --> 00:17:29,524 Square jaw and all that. 333 00:17:29,548 --> 00:17:32,426 But, his soul. 334 00:17:32,926 --> 00:17:35,262 His soul is ugly. 335 00:17:36,346 --> 00:17:40,059 Charles nieuwendyk, visiting in the engineering department. 336 00:17:41,185 --> 00:17:45,147 Mona margadoff, professor of music theory. 337 00:17:45,898 --> 00:17:48,150 - How long have you been here? - Gosh. 338 00:17:48,942 --> 00:17:51,546 I got my phd in 1984. 339 00:17:51,570 --> 00:17:53,489 I came here a year later. 340 00:18:06,668 --> 00:18:07,836 Okay. 341 00:18:09,797 --> 00:18:11,173 That is too much. 342 00:18:11,673 --> 00:18:14,468 I'm so sorry, but there's no smoking in the museum. 343 00:18:15,385 --> 00:18:16,362 Really? 344 00:18:16,386 --> 00:18:19,365 Because I'm with the president here, and he doesn't seem to mind. 345 00:18:19,389 --> 00:18:21,058 - Right, Jack? - Yeah, I do not. 346 00:18:21,558 --> 00:18:24,496 Claire, find Mr. Vinick an ashtray, please. Thank you. 347 00:18:24,520 --> 00:18:26,313 Thank you so much. Thank you. 348 00:18:27,397 --> 00:18:29,525 Vinick is unbelievable. 349 00:18:30,234 --> 00:18:32,796 We're paying for a cash bar at our own party, 350 00:18:32,820 --> 00:18:34,881 and he's handing out $100 Cubans. 351 00:18:34,905 --> 00:18:37,258 That's... well, that brand of confidence 352 00:18:37,282 --> 00:18:40,494 is found only in the ultra-wealthy American male. 353 00:18:40,994 --> 00:18:44,015 And the fattest hippo in central Africa. 354 00:18:44,039 --> 00:18:46,834 Yeah, newsflash. The billionaire's a narcissist. 355 00:18:47,709 --> 00:18:49,187 So are you, Ben. 356 00:18:49,211 --> 00:18:50,522 And yet we still love you. 357 00:18:50,546 --> 00:18:53,108 Well, excuse me, Elizabeth. 358 00:18:53,132 --> 00:18:55,193 I'm not a narcissist. 359 00:18:55,217 --> 00:18:56,611 I'm an egotist. 360 00:18:56,635 --> 00:18:57,928 There's a difference. 361 00:18:58,428 --> 00:19:02,200 He made a ton of money, and now he wants to give some of it to us. 362 00:19:02,224 --> 00:19:03,743 Why does this upset you so much? 363 00:19:03,767 --> 00:19:06,538 The Wheeler distinguished graduate award, 364 00:19:06,562 --> 00:19:10,792 traditionally given to poets, musicians, and activists, 365 00:19:10,816 --> 00:19:15,547 will today be given to a man who's concerned only with his own coffers 366 00:19:15,571 --> 00:19:19,408 and whose sole talent is extraction and not contribution. 367 00:19:19,908 --> 00:19:21,052 He's a plague. 368 00:19:21,076 --> 00:19:23,429 There are more like him every day. 369 00:19:23,453 --> 00:19:27,082 "Hell is empty, and all the devils are here." 370 00:19:27,958 --> 00:19:29,978 It's the tempest, act 1, scene 2. 371 00:19:30,002 --> 00:19:33,606 Okay. Well, throwing a party for a billionaire is a small price to pay 372 00:19:33,630 --> 00:19:35,692 to keep all our jobs, right? 373 00:19:35,716 --> 00:19:37,402 To keep this place alive? 374 00:19:37,426 --> 00:19:40,238 Yes, well, there is one price I'm willing to pay. 375 00:19:40,262 --> 00:19:42,782 Maxwell, may I buy you another drink? 376 00:19:42,806 --> 00:19:43,950 Yes, please. 377 00:19:43,974 --> 00:19:45,434 I agree with you. 378 00:19:50,063 --> 00:19:55,420 And I've been here ever since, so 1985 to 2025. 379 00:19:55,444 --> 00:19:57,362 That's 40 years. 380 00:19:57,905 --> 00:19:58,882 What? 381 00:19:58,906 --> 00:20:00,884 You asked me how long I'd been at Wheeler. 382 00:20:00,908 --> 00:20:02,468 Yeah, an hour ago. 383 00:20:02,492 --> 00:20:03,720 Right. 384 00:20:03,744 --> 00:20:04,637 Sorry. 385 00:20:04,661 --> 00:20:06,556 So, I compose music, 386 00:20:06,580 --> 00:20:09,893 and sometimes a song will pop into my head. 387 00:20:09,917 --> 00:20:14,272 And if I don't stop whatever I'm doing and go someplace very quiet 388 00:20:14,296 --> 00:20:17,275 and write it down, it'll disappear. 389 00:20:17,299 --> 00:20:19,402 Most people here are used to it. 390 00:20:19,426 --> 00:20:21,261 I forgot you're new. 391 00:20:22,262 --> 00:20:24,097 You look so familiar. 392 00:20:24,973 --> 00:20:27,410 Could we have met before somehow? 393 00:20:27,434 --> 00:20:32,439 Possible, but most people our age recognize me from "lavender highway." 394 00:20:35,275 --> 00:20:37,778 Now it's goodbye, baby 395 00:20:38,278 --> 00:20:41,674 well, it's goodbye, baby 396 00:20:41,698 --> 00:20:46,703 well, it's not like me to stay too long. 397 00:20:48,872 --> 00:20:50,266 I remember that song. 398 00:20:50,290 --> 00:20:52,477 - Was that you? - That was me. 399 00:20:52,501 --> 00:20:55,730 That was my band. I was 18 years old. 400 00:20:55,754 --> 00:20:57,523 We played at Woodstock. 401 00:20:57,547 --> 00:20:58,548 Wow. 402 00:20:59,049 --> 00:21:02,320 You know, we had weirdly similar lives. 403 00:21:02,344 --> 00:21:04,364 Because when I was 18, 404 00:21:04,388 --> 00:21:08,684 I was on the local news for growing a really large squash. 405 00:21:09,309 --> 00:21:12,104 So I guess we both understand fame. 406 00:21:14,231 --> 00:21:16,251 Do you still perform? 407 00:21:16,275 --> 00:21:17,543 That song? No. 408 00:21:17,567 --> 00:21:21,047 Not since the band broke up 50 years ago. 409 00:21:21,071 --> 00:21:24,908 People ask me to all the time, but I don't like living in the past. 410 00:21:25,742 --> 00:21:27,845 So, I have to make the rounds. 411 00:21:27,869 --> 00:21:30,265 Are you gonna stay for a while? 412 00:21:30,289 --> 00:21:31,349 I am. 413 00:21:31,373 --> 00:21:32,374 Good. 414 00:21:34,584 --> 00:21:36,336 Thank you, Claire. 415 00:21:37,671 --> 00:21:39,482 How are you guys? 416 00:21:39,506 --> 00:21:41,359 Good evening, professor. 417 00:21:41,383 --> 00:21:42,718 How's it going? 418 00:21:43,218 --> 00:21:45,220 It's good. Making progress. 419 00:21:46,263 --> 00:21:48,700 Talked with Mona margadoff. 420 00:21:48,724 --> 00:21:51,119 What's the deal there? What's going on with her? 421 00:21:51,143 --> 00:21:53,997 You mean is she like a possible suspect? 422 00:21:54,021 --> 00:21:55,540 She's on the list I gave you. 423 00:21:57,399 --> 00:21:58,543 What about her husband? 424 00:21:58,567 --> 00:22:00,128 Is he a suspect? 425 00:22:00,152 --> 00:22:01,254 No. 426 00:22:01,278 --> 00:22:03,488 He died like 15 years ago. 427 00:22:04,448 --> 00:22:05,758 Copy that. 428 00:22:05,782 --> 00:22:07,760 Husband has alibi. 429 00:22:07,784 --> 00:22:08,910 Graveyard. 430 00:22:09,828 --> 00:22:11,371 Okay. Good. 431 00:22:12,080 --> 00:22:13,081 Ready to meet vinick? 432 00:22:14,958 --> 00:22:16,460 - Yes. Sorry. - Yeah, let's... 433 00:22:17,252 --> 00:22:18,462 Hold up, sweetheart. 434 00:22:19,212 --> 00:22:20,589 Boom. 435 00:22:22,132 --> 00:22:25,528 Brad, congratulations again. 436 00:22:25,552 --> 00:22:29,365 This is Charles nieuwendyk, visiting professor in engineering. 437 00:22:29,389 --> 00:22:31,701 Finally, a useful discipline. 438 00:22:31,725 --> 00:22:34,579 Might even lead to one of these kids getting a job. 439 00:22:34,603 --> 00:22:36,164 All these pointless subjects. 440 00:22:36,188 --> 00:22:39,000 Philosophy, art history, fashion design. 441 00:22:39,024 --> 00:22:41,735 "Hey, look. It's my senior thesis. Pants." 442 00:22:43,403 --> 00:22:45,506 Let me introduce you to my wife and daughter. 443 00:22:45,530 --> 00:22:48,367 Yeah! I can see the family resemblance. 444 00:22:49,576 --> 00:22:51,161 Nope. That's the wife. 445 00:22:51,870 --> 00:22:55,391 This is Rebecca, my daughter from my first marriage. 446 00:22:55,415 --> 00:22:59,437 - Pleasure. - This is my newest wife, kelseigh Rose. 447 00:22:59,461 --> 00:23:01,439 Hi. Isn't that so funny? 448 00:23:01,463 --> 00:23:02,690 The two of us. 449 00:23:02,714 --> 00:23:05,068 She's so much older than me, but she's my daughter. 450 00:23:05,092 --> 00:23:08,154 It's like, "go to your room, little missy, and do your homework." 451 00:23:08,178 --> 00:23:11,240 I'll give you a noogie. I'll do it. 452 00:23:11,264 --> 00:23:12,325 I'm just kidding. 453 00:23:12,349 --> 00:23:15,769 I'm gonna go look at my portrait. Charles, entertain the troops. 454 00:23:21,566 --> 00:23:23,652 Are you married, shuffles? 455 00:23:24,653 --> 00:23:28,341 It's Charles, and my wife passed away a couple years ago. 456 00:23:28,365 --> 00:23:30,176 I'm sowwy. 457 00:23:30,200 --> 00:23:31,451 That's a bummo. 458 00:23:32,202 --> 00:23:34,413 Tiny empanadas. My god. 459 00:23:37,165 --> 00:23:39,126 I don't want this. Sorry. 460 00:23:40,293 --> 00:23:42,671 So, how did your wife die? 461 00:23:44,047 --> 00:23:46,692 Julie, it's 6:48 P.M. 462 00:23:46,716 --> 00:23:49,529 I'm right in the middle of plop-ing. 463 00:23:49,553 --> 00:23:51,805 My next move will be to... 464 00:23:54,015 --> 00:23:55,410 Gotta go. More later. 465 00:23:55,434 --> 00:23:57,495 - Hello again. - Hello again. 466 00:23:57,519 --> 00:23:58,937 And again, hello. 467 00:23:59,688 --> 00:24:03,668 I was wondering, because I'm new, 468 00:24:03,692 --> 00:24:07,088 whether or not you could just show me around campus a bit? 469 00:24:07,112 --> 00:24:08,363 I would like that. 470 00:24:08,989 --> 00:24:11,634 But first, I have an errand to run. Keep me company. 471 00:24:11,658 --> 00:24:12,659 Yes. 472 00:24:17,372 --> 00:24:18,623 Solved it. 473 00:24:19,583 --> 00:24:20,584 Solved the case. 474 00:24:21,543 --> 00:24:22,603 What case? 475 00:24:22,627 --> 00:24:26,232 The case of why you would hire me when you hated me so much. 476 00:24:26,256 --> 00:24:27,733 It didn't make sense. 477 00:24:27,757 --> 00:24:28,884 And then it hit me. 478 00:24:29,468 --> 00:24:31,237 You're playing a long game. 479 00:24:31,261 --> 00:24:32,304 You want revenge. 480 00:24:32,846 --> 00:24:35,867 So I went back to those employee files, and I dug a little deeper. 481 00:24:35,891 --> 00:24:39,120 Turns out the guy with the public intoxication charge 482 00:24:39,144 --> 00:24:40,997 has a juvie record. 483 00:24:41,021 --> 00:24:41,914 Sealed. 484 00:24:41,938 --> 00:24:43,565 Marijuana possession. 485 00:24:44,149 --> 00:24:48,296 You hire him, "find out about that," blame me. 486 00:24:48,320 --> 00:24:51,007 Bad yelp reviews, complaints to the state board, 487 00:24:51,031 --> 00:24:53,217 come after me, take me down. 488 00:24:53,241 --> 00:24:54,635 That is your long game. 489 00:24:54,659 --> 00:24:55,659 I'm right. 490 00:24:56,119 --> 00:24:57,180 Right? 491 00:24:57,204 --> 00:24:58,204 Julie. 492 00:24:58,872 --> 00:25:01,559 That is the most delusional rant I have ever heard, 493 00:25:01,583 --> 00:25:02,977 and I work in elder care. 494 00:25:03,001 --> 00:25:05,295 Two of the residents think I'm chita Rivera. 495 00:25:06,880 --> 00:25:08,441 Then why did you hire me? 496 00:25:08,465 --> 00:25:11,510 I needed background checks. You're the only pi I know. 497 00:25:13,678 --> 00:25:16,574 That's what you would say if you were trying to take me down. 498 00:25:16,598 --> 00:25:18,576 All right. Okay. Just listen. 499 00:25:18,600 --> 00:25:21,329 This level of mistrust and paranoia is 500 00:25:21,353 --> 00:25:24,582 what we in the medical and psychological community 501 00:25:24,606 --> 00:25:27,108 refer to as cuckoo bananas. 502 00:25:27,901 --> 00:25:31,964 Maybe you should go to therapy and try to figure out what happened 503 00:25:31,988 --> 00:25:33,883 to you to make you like this. 504 00:25:33,907 --> 00:25:36,952 I know exactly why I'm like this. 505 00:25:37,452 --> 00:25:40,205 Solved that case years ago. 506 00:25:41,790 --> 00:25:42,791 Yeah. 507 00:26:06,439 --> 00:26:09,401 - Hey, blade. - Hey, Mona. Tuba's right over there. 508 00:26:09,901 --> 00:26:11,671 This is Charles. 509 00:26:11,695 --> 00:26:12,964 Hey, Charles. 510 00:26:12,988 --> 00:26:15,341 Hi, blade. I'm scared of blade. 511 00:26:15,365 --> 00:26:17,885 Don't be. This place is great. 512 00:26:17,909 --> 00:26:20,388 They get good stuff from Colombia. 513 00:26:20,412 --> 00:26:22,723 Drums and musical instruments. 514 00:26:22,747 --> 00:26:25,768 They use them to smuggle cocaine across the border. 515 00:26:25,792 --> 00:26:29,146 I'm kidding. 516 00:26:29,170 --> 00:26:31,756 - Wow. - You think that tuba's full of cocaine? 517 00:26:32,799 --> 00:26:34,175 Honestly, I have no idea. 518 00:26:36,428 --> 00:26:37,989 Not full of cocaine. 519 00:26:38,013 --> 00:26:40,348 Yeah. I'll just take the tuba. 520 00:26:41,141 --> 00:26:45,079 Long story short, because the department is broke, 521 00:26:45,103 --> 00:26:49,333 I have to go looking for used instruments all over northern California, 522 00:26:49,357 --> 00:26:53,004 bring them back here, and refurbish them myself. 523 00:26:53,028 --> 00:26:57,324 Well, it seems like a lot of extra work for a tenured professor. 524 00:26:58,366 --> 00:27:03,347 What if a kid has always wanted to learn the tuba and she comes here, 525 00:27:03,371 --> 00:27:05,016 she goes to the music department, 526 00:27:05,040 --> 00:27:08,543 and there are no tubas, and that makes her sad? 527 00:27:09,210 --> 00:27:11,421 Can't have sad kids, can we? 528 00:27:12,505 --> 00:27:15,258 Let's just leave it here. I'll take it inside in the morning. 529 00:27:17,344 --> 00:27:20,531 No one's gonna steal it? 530 00:27:20,555 --> 00:27:23,576 Well, not unless the unrefurbished tuba bandit 531 00:27:23,600 --> 00:27:27,395 escapes from sing sing, but I don't think that's gonna happen. 532 00:27:30,815 --> 00:27:32,859 I need to say something to you. 533 00:27:33,443 --> 00:27:37,989 I met my late wife, Victoria, right after grad school. 534 00:27:38,907 --> 00:27:41,910 She passed away a couple of years ago, and 535 00:27:43,203 --> 00:27:47,141 ever since, I... Charles, how old are you? 536 00:27:47,165 --> 00:27:48,434 Seventy-six. 537 00:27:48,458 --> 00:27:50,126 I'm seventy-four. 538 00:27:51,211 --> 00:27:54,756 We've both been through some shit, right? 539 00:27:55,674 --> 00:27:58,277 We've both lost people we loved. 540 00:27:58,301 --> 00:28:04,057 We've both been through periods of joy and tragedy. 541 00:28:04,557 --> 00:28:10,039 We've both opened for fleet wood Mac at the royal Albert hall. 542 00:28:10,063 --> 00:28:12,023 - Wait, sorry? - Metaphorically. 543 00:28:12,524 --> 00:28:14,401 I mean, mine was literal, but... 544 00:28:15,402 --> 00:28:19,131 My point is people our age 545 00:28:19,155 --> 00:28:23,576 have this whole complicated life behind us. 546 00:28:24,327 --> 00:28:29,165 And we have god knows what ahead of us. 547 00:28:29,666 --> 00:28:33,086 Let's just be here now. 548 00:28:47,225 --> 00:28:49,060 Well, that was certainly... 549 00:29:02,115 --> 00:29:04,677 Since graduating in 1975, 550 00:29:04,701 --> 00:29:08,389 Brad vinick has achieved everything there is to achieve 551 00:29:08,413 --> 00:29:10,099 in the world of finance. 552 00:29:10,123 --> 00:29:12,059 To celebrate those accomplishments, 553 00:29:12,083 --> 00:29:15,396 we declare him this year's distinguished graduate. 554 00:29:15,420 --> 00:29:20,884 And we'll hang his portrait here in the Mildred Wheeler historical gallery. 555 00:29:30,268 --> 00:29:32,061 My god. 42163

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