Original subtitles

Hi. Todd Maher, eHarmony.

How can I help you today?

Hi. I can't seem to leave a wink for someone.

I don't know, is my page broken?

Do I... do I maybe have a broken page or...?

I've never heard of that, but okay.

You're trying to use your eHarmony account

for the first time?

I am.

Okay. I'm looking at your profile.

We have a pretty intricate matching algorithm.

That's what distinguishes us from other online dating services.

Yeah, I like that.

Actually, I'm just trying to leave a wink for one person.

Cheryl Melhoff?

She started in my division at work about a month ago,

and I overheard her near the bagels

saying she was on your site.

Okay, that's unique,

but let me ask you,

you left a lot of this stuff,

like... like the "Been There, Done That" section,

you left it blank.

Yeah, I think I skipped it.

Okay, well, you got to help me out here, man.

Don't skip stuff.

Okay, well, I haven't really been anywhere...

noteworthy or mentionable.

Have you... have you done anything

noteworthy, mentionable?

Hello? You still there?

Can you hang on a second?

My God!

Go, go, go! Get out!

Get out! She's gonna blow!

Go! Go!

Chips! Over here!

Chips!

Thank you! How'd you know about the building?

I heard barking, thought I smelled gas.

I hope it's okay.

I engineered a prosthesis for Chips while I was sprinting down the stairwell.

Little hip-joint assembly with a drop-ring lock

and an anterior pelvic band. God, you're noteworthy.

I just live by the ABCs.

Adventurous, brave, creative.

That's everything I want in a man.

My man?

Hey, my man, you still there?

Hey.

What, did you pass out or...?

No, I just, like, zoned out for a second.

Okay.

Do you do that a lot?

A normal amount,

I guess.

Yeah... I... I got to run. Sorry.

O-Okay, but we... we need a lot more...

Hey, bad day to be late.

We just got acquired.

What? Yeah, over the weekend.

Walter, happy birthday!

He's 42 years old!

Odessa, what are you doing here?

Mom made you your favorite clementine cake.

Aren't you supposed to be at the retirement place with her getting the piano moved in?

Yes, I was there. It's, like, halfway done.

Piano is out of the van, it's on the street.

Everything's fine, but I just got a phone call

about a really big audition, so can you go finish it?

No, I can't; I'm late. Walter, I...

I don't think you're seeing this from what I need.

What do you... What do you need?

I need to be Rizzo in Grease.

I don't understand that.

My audition... Rizzo.

Rizzo? Rizzo.

She's tough and tender. Do me a favor, please.

Make sure Mom's piano gets moved in all the way, all right?

Don't go to Rizzo.

Thanks, Walter.

Happy birthday!

Guess what. We just got acquired.

Yeah, I heard. Yeah.

There's gonna be changes, downsizing of us

into some kind of dot-com thing possibly.

I wonder how

this thing goes down,

how the transition's gonna play out.

I could probably tell you.

Ted Hendricks,

managing director of the transition.

Hey. Tim Naughton, sales.

Gary Mannheim, graphic design.

And what do you do, cake man?

I...

I do the, um...

The cake's just for today.

I'm not a cake man.

I do... I-I deal dirctly...

"Dirctly"?

Directly with,

LIFE's photo units...

I'm sorry, I was really getting into this song.

I stopped listening to you.

I was saying, you know who looks good in a beard?

Dumbledore, not you.

Guy...

Guy?

What do you do?

I'm a negative asset manager.

Worth the wait.

Ted. Donny.

You feeling tough? Feeling good.

Well, got to make some tough calls ahead.

You've been here before, yeah?

Yeah, so this is it?

Yeah, the house of pictures.

Hey.

Hi.

How was your weekend?

I... I had an awesome weekend.

And what did you do this weekend?

Um, let's see.

I bathed in Arctic mountain water

while my Latin lover recited verse to me.

You slut. I know.

Actually, I waited for my refrigerator repairman who never came.

I'm so sorry.

I'm gonna call you later.

Okay.

The ice, yes?

She moves like a woman.

I'm Walter. Mitty.

Cheryl. Melhoff.

Where have you been?

Testing the limits of the human spirit.

I'd like to climb your hair,

test that out.

Perhaps I can contact you

possibly through my poetry falcon.

Poetry falcon.

I like that.

Do you think if I hit him with a paper clip, would he move?

Yeah, I don't know.

Do it. Hello.

I actually threw a toner box at him once.

Yeah? Did he move?

No, I-I missed.

That's a great story.

Ground control to Major Tom.

Can you hear me, Major Tom?

Wow.

- Moving on, as they say. - Yeah.

Conference room,

more of these stations here

where people sort of do their thing.

Layouts here for...

Morning, Hernando.

There's a new nut pouch.

Did you hear?

Yeah.

I... met him.

We're gonna be evaluated.

They won't be able to.

We do intricate details back here.

Yeah.

It's tricky and bewildering.

I should evaluate you; you should evaluate me.

I don't think they'll let us do that.

Just saying.

Hey, how long has this neg roll been here,

out in the open?

It's a Sean O'Connell.

It came in this morning.

There's a present, too.

He sent you a present on your desk.

Sean O'Connell still shoots on film.

That results for me in a man crush.

Hey, you want to mount these?

Seriously?

Sure.

Heard rumblings LIFE's done, man.

Wanted to say thanks.

Take a look inside.

A gift for all the years of hard work.

Sorry about the neg roll.

I spilled some blood on it while self-stitching a gun wound to my abdomen,

but number 25 is my best ever.

The quintessence of LIFE, I think.

I trust you'll get it where it needs to go.

You always do.

What'd you get?

Um, it's a wallet.

With LIFE's motto on it.

Here you go.

Where's 25?

It's not there.

Hey.

We need negative 25.

Sean O'Connell sent a telegram.

An actual telegram.

A 100-year-old dude came in a little hat.

So there's a floor meeting.

Bring 25.

It-it's here somewhere.

We'll find it.

Okay, make a contact sheet of these frames

as soon as you can, and don't say anything to anyone.

Yeah.

I just wanted to inform you all,

reluctantly, that...

I guess just start back from the beginning.

Okay.

I just wanted to inform you all

reluctantly that, this month's issue

will be our last.

What?

Yeah, what?

- That's some bull. - Yeah.

Sad...

news for sure.

Now, you're all valued employees,

but as we undergo this transition

to, LIFE Online,

we wanted to be candid with you that,

some of you will be determined non-vital employees

to the new... the new partnership,

and we'll be deciding which of those positions will be remaining with us

over the course of the next week.

Also, we feel sad about that,

as you can see.

Now, for some good news.

We are very excited for... All right, Don.

Ted Hendricks, managing director of the transition.

Never fun, this stage.

But we do have ahead of us

the privilege of publishing what will be

the very last issue of LIFE magazine.

And for the final issue,

we just received a telegram... come on...

from Sean O'Connell,

who has never, I'm told,

been willing to speak with the executives here.

Well, he broke his long silence

and shared his thoughts with us through that... that old man.

Sean O'Connell.

"I expect full consideration

"of negative 25 for cover.

"My most grand,

the quintessence of LIFE."

The... what is that?

What-what is that? It means, like, the fullest

and most rich. Okay.

So our cover will probably be the most famous ever

because it really will have the big quintessence of all time.

Very full and so rich.

So let's see this thing?

Let's see it.

Can we... What do we... What am I doing up here?

What's going on?

We'll receive it now from Negative Assets.

This gentleman here. Negative Assets.

Last man in. What's that?

Major Tom.

Can I,

get that?

It's, being processed.

All right, well, let's do it.

Let's process some quintessence.

Come on.

Go.

Now.

That's why I'm clapping.

Wait, when do we go to press? Two and a half weeks.

Please don't worry. You're going to be fine, okay?

You've been here forever; I'm sure he won't...

Don't worry, it's gonna be fine.

It was nice talking to you.

Well, guess I'll talk to you later. Okay.

Hi.

Hi. Hi.

I'm, Walter.

Cheryl.

Mitty. Melhoff.

Yes, You...

you work in Photo Accounts, right?

I do.

Negative Assets.

Yes. I'm... Yeah.

Processing the last cover photo.

That's-that's a big deal.

Yeah, it's... there's...

We have a glitch.

Mini on that one right now.

I wanted to say to you,

do you maybe

have an address for Sean O'Connell?

Um, it's not really that easy with him.

He moves around so much. I don't.

Yeah, he's on a freelance.

I don't know where,

and he doesn't have a phone.

No phone? He's old-school.

Yeah.

Well...

Um, but, you know, um,

why don't I check with Peg?

I know she just processed a check for him,

and we could track his payout, maybe,

find him that way?

Cool.

Very cool.

Okay. Okay. Walter.

- Yes. - All right.

All right. I'm on it.

Okay.

Thanks.

Yes, okay. Are you coming?

Yes, I'm not.

Yes, I have to stay.

Here's the contact sheet.

What do you see?

This photo cluster, these three,

they're the only printable ones.

He took them around the same time he took 25.

They could give us a clue to where Sean is.

Blow them up, all right?

Cool.

Hey.

Walter, right?

Yeah.

So I called Peg about Sean.

She's gonna get back to me.

Hey, thanks.

Cool glasses.

Very Sand People.

These? These are...

No, these are loupes. They're for work.

They magnify the... Is that 25?

Can I see?

That's, no.

I can't quite find 25

just now.

You can't find it?

Yeah, that's why I'm trying to find Sean.

I'm trying to track him down somehow

with, these other images.

His whereabouts?

Yeah.

I take this class, Writing the Mystery Novel.

Anyway, they say the key

is to work backwards.

You connect the clues and then scatter them so they seem unrelated.

There's, like, a whole science to it.

May I?

Sure.

Okay.

Thumb.

Yeah, it's a...

It's an unknown thumb. Okay.

Water?

Just water, I guess? Yeah, just water.

Okay.

And, um...

like, a curved piece of...

some kind of part of a thing.

But, hey, you know,

the thing with clues, my teacher says, is you really only need one good one

and then they'll connect, and you'll be like,

"Yes, of course, unknown thumb, water.

I should've seen this the whole time."

Yeah, yeah, I'll be like,

like...

Well, anyway, I should get back

and try not to get fired.

Hey, Cheryl?

I have something creative I've been working on, too.

A little side project.

Walter, it's amazing.

Walter.

I was just saying I'll let you know when I hear back from Peg.

Okay.

Thank you.

Hey, Odessa.

What?

Is there a larger apartment available

the piano could fit in?

'Cause that's a memento of our mom's.

That's a really big...

Most people sell their really big mementos before they move here.

My dad bought it for her the year they were married,

and it means a lot to her.

That's a villa. It's a little more costly,

but it has a more generous,

piano kind of size living room for you, though.

Yeah. Yeah, this is good.

On move-in, you'd need first month's, last month's and full deposit.

That's, $4,700. Great.

Yeah, okay. Yeah, we'll take it.

I'll get the paperwork.

The new villa comes open in three weeks.

I'm guessing.

Okay.

Happy birthday.

Stretch Armstrong! Stretch Armstrong.

That's cool. Yeah.

Isn't that awesome? Wow.

This was your favorite thing when we were little.

Do you remember? Yeah.

You want to do it?

Yeah, all right.

Come on, Stretch!

Good, good!

Okay, come on, we got to go.

A villa, okay,

but hey, I'm not the Queen of Sheba.

You got to have room for your piano.

You can stay at my place until it's ready. Well, I won't be cramping your scene.

My scene? No. Yeah.

And I'm sorry we couldn't get you in here today.

Walter!

Look what I found!

Th-This is from you and Tim Linderman.

Did you remember, we were gonna backpack Europe?

That June Dad died?

Man!

What is in here?

That's my Walter box, so those are my

Walter knickknacks and keepsakes.

You made the best mix tapes.

Man.

What? What's that?

Travel journal Dad gave me.

You should donate that...

because you never used it... to a poor kid.

A poor kid who's going to travel to Europe?

What... Look at you and your dad.

Is that my tournament one?

He was so proud of this.

Sharing your accomplishments with the whole world.

It's from the Fairview Smalltowner, Mom.

Well, I really liked that nifty Mohawk.

You know, when your daddy died, and then you went

to work in that pizza place,

the one that was named after a father...

had that father kind of name. Papa John's.

Yeah. Delivery. And I thought perhaps

that it-it was really sad for you working in a restaurant

named after a father, after your father just died.

I never even thought about that.

Probably 'cause I didn't call Dad "Papa."

You had a weird style.

That wasn't my style. That was a uniform... KFC.

My worker bee.

Aw.

"Word in the water"?

Okay, you know what? I got to go.

We're getting you into a villa situation, okay?

Okay. Good, everybody?

My worker bee and my performance artist bee.

Aw, thank you, Mom.

Hernando.

Hey.

I don't see anything.

Upper middle. It's faint.

There's a word in the water.

I'm getting nervous, Walter.

Hey, this is an ocean.

That's a boat.

"Erkigsnek."

He was near this boat.

See you in a few.

I'll check the mailroom.

Final cover.

Big responsibility.

Is that my quintessence?

This is... No.

We're, um... we're prepping

the wetting agents on that to start the process.

Really? Because it looks like you're playing with toys.

No, this is... this is a gift.

Yeah, um, the negative needs

to go through a very technical... I'm sorry.

I can't have a professional conversation with you.

You and your little blond pal.

Okay. Let's...

You can't walk through the office with him?

Let's have it. So I'll put it away.

Give me the toy, man.

No. Now.

Hey! This is a place of business,

not a place of jelly-man toys.

Get off it!

No, I'm taking it!

You can't just take my stuff.

It's mine! Give it to me! No!

Stop fiddling with sweets and little men!

I'm trying to do my job!

Are you the Tin Man?

Need a little oilcan?

Jesus.

Picture.

Hello?

Hey!

Hey.

What's up?

Um, who is this?

Todd, from eHarmony.

Hi.

Yeah, when I lost you there, I was saying

we need to beef your profile up, make it, you know, not blank.

Real quick, let's build your "Been There, Done Thats."

Um, okay.

Been there... um...

Phoenix.

I forgot why.

Then, Nashville, but that was just the airport

on the way to Phoenix, so I don't know if that...

Well, hey, man,

I was thinking, if you work with this girl,

why don't you just, you know, humanly invite her out?

No, no, no, I'm... I'm trying to do,

like, a "Piña Colada Song" thing. Piña... "Piña Colada Song"?

Yeah, you know, a guy posts an ad looking for a lover,

and then his wife answers it,

and turns out they were soul mates and didn't even know it,

and they end up making love in capes... or on a cape.

It-it's a song? Can you sing a little bit, just...?

Yeah, you know...

You know that song? I have to go.

Is that Hall and Oates?

Hey. Hey.

Is that another clue?

Yeah. This one's okay. Yeah?

There's a boat there, I think.

"Er... kig..." "Snek."

Erkigsnek? Yeah.

Sounds like a real clue.

Yeah, it's the boat's name.

Have you Googled it?

I was on my way to.

Yeah. N-U.

That's the, first two letters of the port city.

Buffering.

So... the park.

I got to run up there and pick up my son.

He's skateboarding with a friend.

Do you want to walk up with me?

Starting now?

Yeah, starting now.

Okay.

Yeah, we got to figure this out.

It's a big deal.

You lost a Sean O'Connell.

Yeah, I used to work at Nabisco.

And then I had a... change,

and I decided to apply to LIFE.

Thought it would be

more colorful, less regular, I guess.

You know, I just like the idea of it.

Um, I like the motto of the company.

Do you know it?

"To see the world..."

"Things dangerous to come to..."

"Things dangerous to come to..." Yeah.

"To see behind walls..." Yeah.

Yeah, I, um... I got this from Sean.

He gave this to you? Yeah.

I like that: "to draw closer."

So, what's he like in person?

Sean? Yeah.

Well, I haven't actually met him.

I... I mean, we talk a lot, but I've...

I've been his point guy here ever since I started.

How long ago was that?

16 years. 16 years?

My gosh. Wow.

Well, you have nothing to worry about.

With the layoffs, I mean.

I've been here for a month.

"Last in, first out," right?

Sorry.

It's Rich's dad.

It's your... Um...

Former... newly former.

But we've been sort of... I don't know.

You know, I don't need to get it.

So, what kind of skateboard does your son have?

Um, I have no idea.

It's oblong. I don't know.

Why?

No, I just, um... I used to...

I was kind of into the scene.

Like...

The skateboard scene?

Yeah. Wow.

Hi, Peg.

Yeah, Sean O'Connell.

We actually, need to find him.

Yes.

If you could hurry.

Kickflip.

Yeah.

It's a good one for the repertoire.

I'm Walter.

Rich.

Yeah, we think he might know something or have an asset we need.

You know, you just got to get

a little more snap, get that thing up there.

Want me to,

show you something?

Sure.

Here.

Like your trucks.

Thanks.

Check this out.

Know about the flick?

Yeah, we-we-we've finished processing his April work order.

Yes, it's kind of important.

Okay.

Did you forward the job 1090's?

Or his last salary?

Wow!

Okay.

Wow.

Here you go. That was awesome.

So it could be either place.

Thanks, Walter. Okay.

Thanks, Peg. All right.

Hey. So, um...

Sean's definitely not in New York.

Peg said she sent multiples.

I don't know if you know how it works with him.

She sends copies 'cause we never know where's he's going to be.

And this week, she sent 1090's to Princeton, New Jersey.

Great. Train ride.

And one to Greenland.

Just in case.

Greenland, the country?

That's, um... you can't take a train there.

No.

Well, maybe he's in Jersey. Yeah.

Yeah, is your phone done buffering with that ship's name?

Um, yes.

Look. Here it is.

Nuuk, Greenland.

That's...

Yeah.

Come on, that's a good lead.

You should follow that up.

Yeah, follow it up in Greenland.

Yeah. Why not? Go.

Crack the case.

Listen to your wallet.

Sorry. It's my, um... it's Phil again.

Um, maybe he fell down a well or something.

Maybe I should get it.

Hey, buddy. Here.

Rich, Rich, Rich! Not so fast. Here, here, here.

Take that. Take that.

Yeah.

I understand.

Okay.

Bye.

He did fall down a well.

But I don't care.

I just want to be with you, you know?

Really?

Let's run away together.

Let's make every moment count, starting now.

Sweet.

Can I tell you something?

Anything.

I have that Benjamin Buttons thing.

Where you get old but smaller or whatever

and become a gradual old baby or something.

I didn't see the movie,

so I don't really know how it works.

But I have it.

We can still build a life together.

Cool.

I like your snappy little suit.

I bought it at a doll store.

Cool.

My little heart is no bigger than a quarter,

but it's as full as Fort Knox.

You're the bravest man I've ever known.

I love you, baby.

Not like "baby," like,

because you look like a little weird baby-man.

I get it.

Thank you for such a wonderful life.

You're... I...

Shh.

Just nestle in here and die.

Good-bye, Walter.

Good-bye, Walter. Bye! Walter!

Walter.

Walter.

Bye. Sorry.

I was just...

Where do you go?

I-I started, thinking about... No, it's okay.

I was probably boring you about my broken refrigerator.

No. Rich!

My son's running into the street. I-I have to go.

Yeah.

I wanted to tell you, um, that song, "Major Tom,"

back there, when the beard guy was...

he doesn't know what he's talking about.

That song is about courage and going into the unknown.

It's a cool song.

Rich!

Yo.

Where's my thing?

It's in a silver bath.

I don't even know what language you're speaking right now.

You know, you got to take me seriously.

I got a magazine to execute here.

And bosses to answer to.

So next time I see you, I see that picture. Okay?

Hey, dream machine.

Hello?

I just... I-I want proof you heard me.

Next time I see you...

You see the picture.

That's right.

Any luck, Hernando?

I turned the place upside down... 25's not here.

I searched Receiving, too, man.

This never happens.

I'm telling you,

it's nowhere, Walter.

I mean, maybe he didn't even send it.

Maybe it's still on him.

Walter?

Walter!

Hi. Hi.

Do you have any cars available?

Yeah.

We have a blue one and a red one.

I'll take the red one.

Hi. Hi.

Can I ask you...

Could-could someone receive mail here?

An American?

Sean O'Connell?

I think he might have received mail at this address.

You want a drink?

Okay, yeah. I guess...

A small beer shoe.

So-so could somebody

get mail here?

Heli mail. Heli mail?

We helicopter mail

to the ships when they pass by.

We are pub and helipad.

Yeah, wait, the, um, the Erkigsnek?

Yeah, Erkigsnek.

Erkigsnek.

We flew mail to her Tuesday.

Gonna take it down a little here.

I just want to speak from the heart.

I lost a good lady.

I feel this song is helping me feel like I'm not alone.

Even though I-I pretty much am.

Come on, let's sing it.

Everyone.

Let's sing it together.

So, do you know who-who flies the mail out?

Do you know... do you have, like, regular pilots or...?

Hey, man.

Just keep going, man.

Hey, I'm... Sing it.

No, no, thank you.

I don't... I'm all right.

Come on, man, go on. That's...

Yeah, I-I know.

I'm just, I'm okay. Thank you.

I'm-I'm on a business trip. I'm working.

Come on, man, this song's important to me.

Yeah.

Yeah, I... Okay. Sing it.

That sucked.

Well... Okay. Do your work.

You don't have to push.

Can you stop it? Don't poke me. What if I poke you? What if...

Would you stop it? Do your work, man.

Don't-don't poke me. Do your work.

I'm poking you. What am I doing? I'm poking you.

Stop, stop poking me. Don't poke me!

Hey!

Hey, stop!

Come on!

Wait! Wait!

Wait! Your thumb!

I have to talk to you about your thumb!

Yeah, I flew mail out to the Erkigsnek Tuesday.

Gave him a ride.

He took that photo of my hand on the stick.

I'm just...

blown away I located your thumb.

There's, like,

eight people in Greenland.

I mean, it's a...

It's a good place to find a thumb.

Don't cheat on your lady, man,

when you live in a country that only has eight people in it,

by the way.

So...

You're scrappy.

You're...

You're a... You're a little scrappy Duncan.

So, you're trying to find this guy.

Yes, yeah.

Yeah, well, I'm flying some radio parts out there

in, five minutes.

He may still be on the boat.

Really? Yeah.

Maybe you could come with me.

Yeah, or maybe I could...

just, you know, call him on the,

on the boat phone.

The boat phone?

Yeah, the phone on the boat?

You mean the ship-to-shore?

Yeah, maybe I could just... I could, you know,

I could ask him on the ship-to-shore.

The radio's broke.

That's-that's why I'm flying out there now.

You're flying out right now?

Just gonna finish my beer. The weather doesn't look so great.

It's not.

Looks like there's a storm moving in.

Yeah.

A-brewin'.

Yeah.

You're just... You're just gonna...

finish your beer

and then fly a machine?

Yeah, kind of...

I'm kind of nervous about the storm.

I just want to get a coup... a couple of beers down.

Okay, I'm not gonna go with you.

Okay?

Yeah.

Whatever.

See you, man.

Okay, see you.

Okay.

Shut up!

Hi. Hello, everyone.

Hi...

Hello, Nuuk.

Sorry, I'm a little nervous.

Okay.

This one goes out to Walter Mitty.

He knows why.

Hey.

Glad you came.

You comfortable?

What?!

Are you comfortable?!

No!

Hold on tight!

Hey! There she is!

Where do we land?

We don't.

What?

We don't land.

Okay, Walter.

I was gonna drop the radio parts into the boat.

You take them; they're right next to you.

These? Yeah.

Just jump in the boat.

You got them?

Just jump in the boat?

Yeah!

Yeah, you're doing great, Walter.

What do you mean, "jump into the boat"?

What would be the best way

of reaching you to stay in touch?

I don't know.

Wait.

What do you mean, "jump into the boat"?

It looks far away.

Yeah, but you got to go now.

Go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go!

No!

No, no, no, Walter!

I meant the other boat.

The little boat.

Help!

Help! Help!

Try to remain calm!

The pontoon boat is coming for you.

You have at least a minute before you freeze.

What?!

You're safe.

There's something here!

There's a fin here, I think!

We are traveling through a porpoise school.

Don't fear the porpoise.

I don't think it's a porpoise!

I'm telling you, it's a porpoise.

Be friendly.

It will protect you from the sharks.

Okay!

Come here.

Hey.

Hey.

Jesus!

Okay, that's a shark.

That's what I said!

Jesus!

Stop befriending it! Kill it!

It's not a porpoise! It's not a porpoise!

Poke his eyes out!

Fight it!

My God, my God.

That really happened.

Real face.

Sorry for palming your face.

I just... My God.

A pilot boat came.

They took him four hours ago.

Before the storm.

Took him where?

Iceland.

Is...

Is there any way that we could radio him?

I... It's very important

that I discuss something with him. I...

You jumped into the ocean with our radio components.

They're lost.

Correct?

Yeah, that's correct.

You're American?

Yeah.

Excellent.

Fonzie.

Come on, I'll-I'll find you some dry clothing,

home slice.

Will this work for your items?

Yeah.

Thank you.

Hey, I'll take this, buddy.

Okay. Hungry?

Sure. I got some kick-ass cake, man.

Thank you.

Looking good.

You can keep it.

Hey, this is...

Is this...

This is clementine cake.

This is clementine cake; my mom makes this.

Yeah, Sean brought it.

Yeah.

Good.

Is this Sean's?

Yeah, he wrapped the cake in it.

This is a shoot itinerary.

It's a field itinerary

for-for a photo...

Did he say anything about where he was going?

No, he didn't say much.

He was just taking pictures of these guys,

you know, the Chilean deckhands. He even gave me some tips

for my Instagrams.

Facebook friends?

Yeah, sure. Great.

What-what is... what is Eyjaf...

Eyjafallajokull?

Eyjafjallajokull. Excuse me?

Eyjafjallajokull.

What is that?

Well, it's in Iceland.

It's a volcano.

A volcano? Yeah.

May 2, that's tomorrow.

Do you think there's any way

that we could possibly land in Iceland?

Yeah.

Yeah? Yeah.

We have to in the morning.

Great.

'Cause you lost the radio.

Right, yeah, sorry.

I mean, sorry, but that's...

Well, I-I-I just have to get to Ey...

Eyjafjallajokull.

Right. Eyja...

Man.

Hey, I'll see you on Sesame Street, man.

Okay, you're here,

and this is Eyjafjallajokull.

It's, 15 kilometers. All right, okay.

You can take the shore bike,

but you better get going, man.

Yeah, he didn't write a time on that clue paper.

No, man, hurry, because of...

What? I-I don't... I don't understand.

What he means, man, is you have to hurry

because there's a bunch of horny Chileans who want to go to a strip club.

There's only one bike.

Hurry, Walter, hurry, run!

Go! Go!

Stay gold, Pony Boy!

Hello?

Hey, what's up?

Todd? From eHarmony?

Yeah, yeah, what's up, man?

Not much.

How have you been?

Good. It's, it's early here.

I just got up, man.

I was thinking about you.

Where are you?

Los Angeles.

Hey, so your profile

still hasn't received any winks

even though I put that you've been to Phoenix.

I, I jumped out of a helicopter yesterday

into the ocean and had a shark fight.

Yeah, yeah, listen, I was mentioning before,

people who daydream too much, they're not content...

No, it was real. I really did.

Really?

I'll put down adrenaline junkie.

Well, what kind of a shark? Was it like a...

Hey, Todd, I can't really talk right now.

I'm on my way to a volcano.

What the...?

Hey. Hi.

Hey, you guys... you guys speak English?

I'm looking for Eldgos Street.

Eldgos?

Is that a street?

Is this Eyjafjallakuta?

Eyjafjallakuta?

Something like that?

Eyyafallakuta? Eyyaflutakuta?

Eyftu...

It's a longboard.

Yeah.

Is that... What is that?

Is that, like, Thor or...?

Odin?

Like, a Norse god?

It's cool.

Hey, would you...

Would you maybe want to make a trade?

I know a kid who would love that board.

It's cool. Look, he stretches.

Here, come and check it out.

Yeah, he's fun.

Yeah, lots of stretching fun.

Want to do it?

Yeah?

Great, great, thank you.

Hello?

Hello?

Hi. Hi.

Hey, do you... do you speak English?

The hotel is closed.

Okay, yeah, um, I'm just...

I'm trying to find this guy,

this man, Sean O'Connell.

I think that he possibly, he might have stayed here.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I got a plane for him.

At 1:00, there.

15 minutes.

He's at airfield in Stykkisholmur.

Yeah, yeah, in the valley, next town south.

Okay, where is it? Stykkisholmur.

Tickishoumer.

Is it straight down that way?

Okay, thank you!

It's all right! I know him!

What's going on? Where is everybody?

Eldgos!

Come, Eldgos!

Eldgos. Eldgos. Yes, yes!

What-what does that mean? Eretion.

Eretion? Erection.

Erection? Yes! No!

Eruption!

Eruption? Yes.

Sean.

Faster! Go faster!

Holy shit! Faster!

My God!

Thanks for coming back for me.

I really appreciate it.

I hope you find your man.

Thanks.

Yeah, there's a motel

near the pizza place there.

Good luck.

Photographic Accounts.

Cheryl?

This is Cheryl Melhoff.

Hey, it's Walter. Mitty.

Hey, I walked down to say hi to you

about an hour ago and you weren't there.

That's 'cause... guess what.

I'm in Iceland.

Iceland?

Wait, w-wasn't it Greenland?

Yeah, yeah, it was.

: You know that they're not the same place?

No, no, no, I-I went to Greenland,

and then I got on a fishing vessel

tracking Sean, and... and ended up here in Iceland.

You're in Iceland.

Yeah, at a Papa John's.

Hey, I got more clues.

What-what did you find?

There's a date that Sean wrote

and some words on a cake wrapper.

"Rajqawee," "Buzkashi"

and, "Warlocks."

Wait, they have a Papa John's in Iceland?

Yeah, I just had to... just left.

Did you get kicked out?

No, I just needed to leave.

Just the atmosphere and the...

cups.

Hey, I was right on Sean's trail.

Then I lost him.

Strong little man.

Thanks.

No. Rajqawees means strong little man

in, like, 40 Arabic countries.

And Buzkashi is goat hockey

in Central Asia.

And, "Warlocks..."

Yeah, um, I was hoping they would connect.

So you said that you left Papa John's

because of the cups?

Is there something I should be aware of as a customer?

No, I just, I worked there,

that's all. I just...

I used to have a Mohawk and,

a backpack,

and I guess this idea of who I wanted to be

and what I wanted to do.

And...

Yeah?

Nothing, just...

Just, I was pretty close with my dad,

and he died when I was 17

on a Tuesday,

and we didn't have any savings,

so I got a haircut that Thursday,

and, a job,

the same Thursday.

Papa John's?

Yeah.

Your dad let you have a Mohawk?

He shaved my head.

That's a good dad move.

Yeah.

Is it nice there?

Yeah, it is.

It's...

It's really beautiful.

Well, it's pretty sucky here.

Human Resources has already started letting some of the staff go,

so it'll be a lot different when you get back.

Hey, I picked something up for...

I think I lost you.

You know what, I'll catch you up when I see you.

Great.

Okay, all right.

I'll... Okay.

Um, okay, bye, Walter.

Bye, Cheryl.

What's going on?

All the way in. All the way to the back.

They shut down two floors.

Why do you look rugged?

I see you.

Hey! I see you!

What did I say?

I see you.

The photograph. Now. Let me see it.

He looked it up.

There's no such thing as a "silver bath."

Listen, there was uncertainty about the negative.

I thought...

I understood that, hopefully, it was in Iceland...

It was in your care!

If you just give me some more time...

You're fired. We'll make another cover.

Hey!

More than a million... way more... negatives have come through my office.

I have never mislaid one.

Put it on a plaque.

Hang it at your next job.

Now I got to explain this to the board?

Yeah, I'm sure Sean O'Connell will be thrilled.

Hey...

Tell me again... who is this guy?

You okay?

Yeah.

That's cool.

It's a skateboard.

It's for Cheryl's son.

Cheryl's not in. She was let go.

I told you, man, it's bad.

Hey! That's my fern.

Thank you.

Hi. Hi.

Can I...?

Yeah, is, um...

Is this, um... I'm looking for Cheryl Melhoff.

You want Cheryl?

Yeah. She's, um...

We work together, and she was, she was

helping me with a, um, with a work thing that...

Cheryl?

Honey?

There's some guy here.

What?

Shh! Bud, stop it.

From work.

Um, okay, hold on. I'm on the phone.

It's Conan.

Tonight, First Lady Michelle Obama,

Walter Mitty!

Can we... can we talk about your love life?

I think people would be interested. I don't think...

You don't want to know about my love life.

I think they do.

Yeah, I think they do. Yes.

Now, I don't believe everything I read.

There's a scandal?

Little... little scandal?

A little scandal, yes.

She was back with her husband or something...

then she fell for you?

You know, where there's smoke, there's fire.

That's all I'm gonna say. You're awesome, Walter.

Well, thanks. Hey, thanks. Sure.

I don't think Can you turn this off?

You realize I am bumping It stays on.

Dame Judi Dench 'cause I want to talk to you more.

I'm just going to get out.

Hey, Mom. Hi, honey.

Walter, you gotta tip these guys.

We got the piano back safe, Mom.

You back from your work trip?

Yeah, this morning.

Hungry?

I'm making soup. Thanks.

Hey, tipping time now. : Let's go.

This is all I got.

Thank you. Thank you very much.

All right, thanks, everybody.

For all your hard work.

Yeah. We appreciate it, ma'am.

You did great.

You just let yourself out.

- He's good for this. - What'd I tell you?

You gonna stay for dinner?

Mom, I'd love to.

I think I'm just really wiped out

after supervising moving that thing all day.

I think I just need to go to yoga and then just crash.

What is it? A class?

Yeah, it's yoga. It's a class.

I go to the hot kind, where they heat the room.

Have you heard of that? Sure.

You have? It's good for you.

It's great for you.

You just get it all out of your system.

You just get all your sweat out,

you just get everything, all your fear.

I'm waiting on a call about an audition, and I just...

Ooh, that Grease show?

Yeah. Rizzo?

Yeah. I'm really excited about it.

I haven't even heard of that.

But I just gotta get it... I just...

what's good about this is that I just don't worry about it.

Just get out of my head.

Is that good, too?

I feel like it's good in a class like this.

I mean, I'm not going to get paid for it, which is fine.

It's not about money. Wonderful.

And I feel like, you know,

it's just for kids,

but I think it's important for them to start early.

I'm really thrilled, Mom.

You know, I think I'm just going to enjoy it.

Just standing in front of people and talking.

You'll be good at that. Yeah.

You'll really be good at that. I think so, too, Mom.

- Hey, Mom? - Yeah.

Did somebody take a picture of your piano, like, a week ago?

I did.

With Sean's camera.

Sean O'Connell's camera?

Yeah, he came to visit.

Mom, what?

Yeah.

He wanted to know about your work schedule,

when you left, when you came home.

He said you really understood LIFE.

He was really interested in your work.

You...

Mom, why didn't you tell me?

I told you.

I told you in the produce aisle.

I remember that.

Maybe you were...

Odessa, what is it you call it

when he goes into one of his little places?

Zoned out.

You do that now and then.

What's the matter?

I got fired.

I lost a picture of his.

Can you find it?

No, I don't know where he is.

He's some... someplace with warlocks or...

Warlords.

No, warlocks.

No. Warlords.

Sean said he had to meet with warlords very soon,

and maybe he would take my cake

so that he could get permission

to trek through the wilds and places.

He said he wants to photograph snow leopards.

How about that?

Who?

"Ungoverned Afghanistan."

That's where Sean is.

Crazy Afghanistan. Yeah.

In the upper Himalayas.

They can't let you go.

You were Sean's partner.

He told me that you were the person

who worked the hardest

to make sure his work was realized the way he wished.

You finish his work.

Hey, Todd.

Hey, what's up?

Not much.

Hey, good news.

Your profile really rounded out, man.

That-that volcano-shark combo.

That is money in the bank.

Get ready to get a lot of winks.

Okay.

But, um, something else.

Cheryl Melhoff...

she's not on here anymore.

Withdrawn.

Really?

Yeah.

Hey, man, where are you now?

Himalayas.

The Himalayas.

I love it. Wait a minute...

that is a kick-ass "Been There."

Todd, I'm gonna keep this short.

I have to make oxygen choices.

Hey, I get it. Go!

Anyway, you have a profile now.

Congratulations.

Cool, but... you know what?

Would you take me off?

I can't really swing that $500 yearly.

Hey.

Um... well...

Hey, man.

You're sure? 'Cause I feel like

we're really onto something here.

I mean, this is... Do you mind? I'm working.

This is one of the best profiles I've ever done, and...

and our refund policy, well, you know, we don't have one...

Todd, I gotta go.

Sean.

Yeah.

It's... it's Walter.

Mitty.

Walter Mitty.

Seriously?

How the hell did you get up here?

I just...

I've been looking for you.

Sit down.

I'll sit.

Well, take your time.

Settle in.

Try to be real still, okay?

There's a snow leopard.

Right in this ridge.

So we have to try to be very, very, very, very still.

They call the snow leopard the "ghost cat."

It never lets itself be seen.

Ghost cat?

Beautiful things don't ask for attention.

Sean, there was a...

negative that got separated from your roll.

I'm taking a lot of heat over it at work.

It never came with the roll that you sent.

The last roll you're talking about?

Yeah. The 25.

Yeah.

You're sitting on it.

Why am I sitting on it?

It's in your wallet.

That was the gift.

The photograph.

The wallet was just something I could put it in.

So I put it in a little slot,

the little picture holder in there.

I thought it'd be cute.

I told you, "Look inside."

In the note.

You said, "Look inside."

I thought you meant, I thought you meant

look inside of the wrapping paper.

Yeah? Well, you got a real nice surprise coming.

No, I don't have it.

I don't have it anymore.

Whoa.

What the hell were you thinking?

I mean, I-I'm sorry,

I've admired you for a very long time,

but that is not a good move, at all,

with a valuable negative.

Sorry, I just... I-I thought it would be

a playful kind of thing.

Playful?

Too playful.

I see what you're saying.

With the cover, I should have been more straightforward.

But can I ask you? I mean, if you don't mind...

what did you do with the wallet?

Chucked it.

Well, that hurts my feelings.

No... man, I liked it very much.

I appreciated it very much.

So you threw it away?

I...

So you have no idea what it was.

The photograph.

It's a shame.

It was a beauty.

How'd you find me, anyway?

My mom.

Cool lady.

Knows how to bake.

Yeah.

Hey, why did you...?

Shh.

When are you gonna take it?

Sometimes I don't.

If I like a moment...

I mean, me, personally...

I don't like to have the distraction of the camera.

I just want to stay... in it.

Stay in it?

Yeah, right there.

Right here.

Now it's gone. It's gone.

That looks like fun.

I think I'm gonna jump in.

Hey, what-what was the picture, Sean?

We're going to be odd-numbered if you don't join.

What was the picture?

Let's just call it a ghost cat, Walter Mitty.

You made the watch list.

How'd you get to Afghanistan?

There's a travel ban.

Through Yemen.

Violent place.

That's why the air fare's only $84.

Can I have my fife back?

Do you know anyone in Los Angeles?

No. Any acquaintances? Okay.

Any companions?

Anybody here who might be able to verify

that you're Walter Mitty?

Walter Mitty?

Yeah.

Todd Maher, eHarmony.

Hey.

Thank you.

Thanks. I really... What?

Come here, come here.

Backpack.

Big hug!

Airport prison?

Yeah. Yeah?

Tell me all about it over a Cinnabon.

Come on, Cinnabon.

How long were you

detained for, by the way?

Like, 17 hours.

Wow.

How's that Cinnabon taste?

Really great. That's like...

That's frosted heroin. That's what you're eating.

My friend, that's what you're having right there, man.

It's good.

By the way,

you got 300 winks

before I took down your profile.

Three... in, like, the space of two hours.

It was crazy.

I thought I was selling concert tickets.

I never checked.

Because of the,

the-the piña colada girl that quit?

Yeah.

Yeah, Cheryl.

Cheryl, who...

did not respond to a single wink

the whole time she was on there.

That's a choosy lady.

How's the,

daydreaming going?

Lately, less.

Good.

Less is good.

Thanks for the pastry.

Yeah, well, you owe me.

I'll send you a check as soon as I sell the piano.

You have a lot on your plate.

What are you gonna do now?

Go out and get another job.

Boom.

I'm sorry, Walter, I just... What?

You are so not how I pictured you.

What-what? How-how did you picture me?

I pictured you as a little gray piece of paper,

but now I see you

and it's like Indiana Jones decided to become

the lead singer of the Strokes or something like that.

It's nuts, I know.

Sorry, Mom.

What for?

Dad bought it for you.

It was my responsibility.

Walter.

We're all grown here.

We're all good.

Ooh, that's heavy-duty, that sum.

You should put this in your wallet.

I don't have one.

Found it in the trash.

I always save your knickknacks.

Thanks.

Got it, Mom? Got it.

Watch the stairs.

I think this works.

Heart of America, different generations,

this says it all.

Hey, welcome.

Wait, I'm sorry, not welcome,

not an employee.

Sorry.

There's the picture Sean wanted... 25.

You have two days to print for cover.

There's your quintessence.

Hey.

Do you know our motto?

LIFE.

I'm lovin' it.

That's... no.

That's-that's McDonald's.

This thing that you do,

Ted, where you come into a place

and you push people out...

you should know that those people

worked really hard to build this magazine.

They believed in the motto.

And I get it, you got your marching orders,

and you have to do what you have to do,

but you don't have to be such a dick.

Put that on a plaque

and hang it at your next job.

What was it?

Sasquatch? A unicorn?

The negative?

Yeah.

I didn't look.

You were a good boss, Walter.

Thanks, man.

Thanks.

Hey, Walter, what's up?

Check this out.

See you!

Hi.

Walter Mitty, severance package.

Hey!

Cheryl!

Hey. Hey. Hey.

I got that e-mail from Rich yesterday.

He's really good.

Walter, thank you.

That was... that...

that was just a really cool thing to do.

I just saw it in Iceland.

He loves it, and I'm taking him this afternoon.

Cool.

Hey, I wanted you to know

you weren't boring me.

That day in the park...

I-I was...

I was thinking about...

I hope this doesn't sound weird, but...

I was thinking about you.

When I was in Greenland... they do karaoke there,

and I had to get on this helicopter

with a very drunk pilot,

and I started to imagine you

singing "Major Tom."

Anyway,

it got me on the helicopter,

and it just...

got me where I wanted to go.

So what happened to you?

You sort of fell off the face of the earth there

for a little bit.

I came by, and I...

your husband answered, so I figured I should just go.

Phil.

He was fixing my refrigerator,

and he's not my husband.

I guess I imagined that...

I thought maybe you got back together.

You have a good imagination,

but no.

Hey, my sister got this role in Grease.

Rizzo.

Not on Broadway; in some weird church.

Do you want to go with me?

I made that sound really not good, but...

Yeah.

Yeah?

Yeah, yeah.

I would love to.

Grease in a weird church?

You kidding?

Rizzo, that's... that's the best part.

Yeah, Rizzo.

Tough and tender.

Yeah.

Great.

Are you... are you heading uptown?

Sure.

Yeah? Yeah.

I actually always related to Rizzo more.

Yeah? Yeah.

Was it the, smoking and the teenage sex?

No, she was just real, I guess.

The last issue, it should be here.

It came out this morning.

Man, Walter.

Should we go buy one of those?

Yeah, I was probably gonna...

Probably gonna go back later? Yeah, yeah.

I just didn't want to seem uncool and get one right away.