Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:01,333 --> 00:00:05,503
♪ Thank you for being a friend
2
00:00:05,571 --> 00:00:08,506
♪ Traveled down the roadand back again
3
00:00:09,408 --> 00:00:11,176
♪ Your heart is true
4
00:00:11,243 --> 00:00:15,013
♪ You're a pal and a confidant
5
00:00:16,449 --> 00:00:19,684
♪ And if you threw a party
6
00:00:19,752 --> 00:00:23,422
♪ Invited everyone you knew
7
00:00:24,857 --> 00:00:26,190
♪ You would see
8
00:00:26,258 --> 00:00:28,660
♪ The biggest giftwould be from me
9
00:00:28,727 --> 00:00:31,595
♪ And the card attachedwould say
10
00:00:31,663 --> 00:00:37,335
♪ Thank youfor being a friend ♪
11
00:01:19,244 --> 00:01:20,946
You know, Rose,
I'm really enjoying this.
12
00:01:21,013 --> 00:01:23,481
You and I having a quiet
cup of coffee together.
13
00:01:26,385 --> 00:01:28,019
Me, too, Sophia.
Because you know...
14
00:01:28,087 --> 00:01:29,053
I said quiet!
15
00:01:33,693 --> 00:01:36,394
Girls, you will never believe
what happened to me
16
00:01:36,462 --> 00:01:38,596
at the supermarket yesterday.
17
00:01:38,664 --> 00:01:40,632
Um, you were in a real hurry
18
00:01:40,700 --> 00:01:42,434
and you needed to go
through the express lane,
19
00:01:42,501 --> 00:01:44,035
but you had 25 items,
20
00:01:44,102 --> 00:01:45,470
so you went through
three times.
21
00:01:45,538 --> 00:01:48,272
Once with ten items,
once with nine items,
22
00:01:48,341 --> 00:01:50,475
and once with six items.
23
00:01:52,845 --> 00:01:54,145
No, Rose.
24
00:01:54,212 --> 00:01:56,014
What kind of a moron
would do that?
25
00:02:03,856 --> 00:02:06,791
Anyway, I ran into this man
at the produce counter,
26
00:02:06,858 --> 00:02:08,726
and he asked me to play
tennis with him tonight.
27
00:02:08,728 --> 00:02:11,196
But I forgot that Big Daddy's
baby brother,
28
00:02:11,263 --> 00:02:15,166
my dearest and nearest relative,
is flying in at 7:00.
29
00:02:15,234 --> 00:02:16,434
This is such a dilemma!
30
00:02:16,502 --> 00:02:18,203
Whatever am I gonna do?
31
00:02:18,270 --> 00:02:21,105
Blanche, it doesn't sound
like a dilemma at all.
32
00:02:21,173 --> 00:02:22,340
You know, Rose, you're right.
33
00:02:22,408 --> 00:02:23,675
Family you can see any time.
34
00:02:23,742 --> 00:02:26,544
But a one-night stand
only happens one night.
35
00:02:30,616 --> 00:02:35,119
Now I have to get me somebody
to dump Uncle Lucas on.
36
00:02:35,187 --> 00:02:37,021
If I could only find me an...
37
00:02:40,392 --> 00:02:44,261
Rose, sweetheart,
what are you doing tonight?
38
00:02:44,329 --> 00:02:48,466
Blanche, I can't believe you.
39
00:02:48,500 --> 00:02:50,501
Where do you get your nerve?
40
00:02:50,569 --> 00:02:52,370
Ironically,
from my Uncle Lucas.
41
00:02:53,773 --> 00:02:54,773
Sophia.
42
00:02:54,840 --> 00:02:56,574
Me? You come to me?
43
00:02:56,642 --> 00:02:58,476
A matriarch,
the head of a family?
44
00:02:58,544 --> 00:03:00,979
To me, Blanche,
family is everything.
45
00:03:01,046 --> 00:03:03,481
There is nothing
higher than family.
46
00:03:03,548 --> 00:03:06,551
Family I will always, without
exception, stand up for.
47
00:03:06,619 --> 00:03:08,386
But, honey, I'm desperate.
48
00:03:08,454 --> 00:03:09,788
Con Dorothy into it.
49
00:03:12,758 --> 00:03:14,759
Conning Dorothy is a thought,
50
00:03:14,826 --> 00:03:17,328
but I don't know if I have it
in me to do all the persuading,
51
00:03:17,563 --> 00:03:18,763
all the convincing, and...
52
00:03:18,830 --> 00:03:20,965
Oh, my God, is that Dorothy?
53
00:03:23,101 --> 00:03:26,737
Or Miss Lana Turner emerging
from her morning toilette?
54
00:03:30,376 --> 00:03:33,278
It's Lana with
a message from Dorothy.
55
00:03:33,345 --> 00:03:35,780
Whatever the favor is,
forget it.
56
00:03:37,550 --> 00:03:40,418
Dorothy Zbornak,
have I got a man for you.
57
00:03:40,486 --> 00:03:42,086
No, thanks. Had one.
58
00:03:46,458 --> 00:03:47,959
It's my Uncle Lucas.
59
00:03:48,027 --> 00:03:49,593
He's perfect.
60
00:03:49,662 --> 00:03:52,496
All man, all heart, all yours.
61
00:03:52,564 --> 00:03:53,965
Look, Blanche, forget it.
62
00:03:54,033 --> 00:03:55,800
It's not gonna work out.
63
00:03:55,868 --> 00:03:57,535
I mean,
he's a little bit country,
64
00:03:57,603 --> 00:04:00,872
and I'm a little bit
too smart for this.
65
00:04:00,939 --> 00:04:02,440
You've got
Uncle Lucas all wrong.
66
00:04:02,508 --> 00:04:04,375
He's a man of cultivation
and high taste.
67
00:04:04,443 --> 00:04:05,976
Oh, yes.
68
00:04:06,044 --> 00:04:09,046
I'm sure he wipes the jug on his
sleeve before he passes it.
69
00:04:13,986 --> 00:04:16,021
Oh, Dorothy, now please.
70
00:04:16,088 --> 00:04:17,288
I've told him all about you.
71
00:04:17,356 --> 00:04:19,090
He's dying to meet you.
72
00:04:19,158 --> 00:04:20,625
Oh, right.
73
00:04:20,692 --> 00:04:24,962
He's dying to meet a woman
he doesn't even know.
74
00:04:25,030 --> 00:04:28,399
If you ask me, Blanche, your Uncle
Lucas is nothing but lonely.
75
00:04:28,467 --> 00:04:31,002
Desperate, pathetic,
and lonely.
76
00:04:31,070 --> 00:04:32,136
Right.
77
00:04:32,204 --> 00:04:34,605
Hey, Dorothy, you two
might just hit it off.
78
00:04:39,645 --> 00:04:41,713
Uncle Lucas is
nothing of the sort.
79
00:04:41,780 --> 00:04:43,414
Dorothy, he is
so excited about this date
80
00:04:43,482 --> 00:04:46,117
because I gave him
a full description of you.
81
00:04:46,185 --> 00:04:47,986
Well, I can understand that.
82
00:04:48,053 --> 00:04:50,889
I mean, women like me
don't grow on trees.
83
00:04:50,956 --> 00:04:53,124
Too bad.
We could use the shade.
84
00:05:01,266 --> 00:05:05,469
Oh, Dorothy,
it's only one night.
85
00:05:05,537 --> 00:05:06,905
Please?
86
00:05:07,506 --> 00:05:08,606
(SIGHS)
87
00:05:08,674 --> 00:05:11,276
Ma, do you mind if we
move SCRABBLE to Sunday?
88
00:05:11,343 --> 00:05:12,677
I'll live.
89
00:05:12,745 --> 00:05:14,879
There's no need
to be sarcastic.
90
00:05:14,947 --> 00:05:17,448
No, I mean it.
I'm finally going to go out and live.
91
00:05:37,169 --> 00:05:38,603
So...
92
00:05:42,574 --> 00:05:44,175
You're a English teacher?
93
00:05:45,544 --> 00:05:46,544
Oh.
94
00:05:49,215 --> 00:05:50,315
Yes, yes, I am.
95
00:05:50,382 --> 00:05:51,549
(CLEARING THROAT)
96
00:05:52,851 --> 00:05:54,285
You, uh,
97
00:05:55,187 --> 00:05:56,921
own seven hardware stores.
98
00:05:56,988 --> 00:05:58,556
Yeah, yep, I do.
99
00:06:02,227 --> 00:06:04,295
So...
100
00:06:08,366 --> 00:06:09,801
Would you like some more beer?
101
00:06:09,868 --> 00:06:11,736
Oh, no, thanks. I'm fine.
102
00:06:12,538 --> 00:06:14,238
What am I saying?
103
00:06:14,273 --> 00:06:15,172
I am not fine.
104
00:06:15,240 --> 00:06:17,809
Look, Lucas,
this isn't your fault.
105
00:06:17,877 --> 00:06:21,045
I do not go out on blind dates.
106
00:06:21,113 --> 00:06:25,850
I mean, this is as silly as I
have felt in a long, long time.
107
00:06:34,359 --> 00:06:35,693
Until now.
108
00:06:38,897 --> 00:06:40,731
Wait till he brings the pants.
109
00:06:42,835 --> 00:06:44,001
You're joking.
110
00:06:44,936 --> 00:06:46,370
Somebody's got to.
111
00:06:48,406 --> 00:06:50,942
Look, Lucas,
can I be 100% frank?
112
00:06:51,010 --> 00:06:52,510
We're both adults.
113
00:07:02,087 --> 00:07:05,189
Now, look, I--I only came
as a favor to Blanche.
114
00:07:05,257 --> 00:07:08,693
When she told me how badly
you were dying to meet me...
115
00:07:08,760 --> 00:07:12,496
Wait a minute. Blanche told
you I was dying to meet you?
116
00:07:12,564 --> 00:07:14,699
The only reason I showed up
here is 'cause she told me
117
00:07:14,766 --> 00:07:17,902
you were a lonely, single gal
who was dying to meet me.
118
00:07:17,936 --> 00:07:18,703
She didn't.
119
00:07:18,771 --> 00:07:20,237
Yes, she did.
120
00:07:22,607 --> 00:07:24,242
So, what do you think
this means?
121
00:07:24,309 --> 00:07:25,543
Well, I think it means
122
00:07:25,610 --> 00:07:28,846
that she is shacked up
in some cheap motel...
123
00:07:29,815 --> 00:07:32,250
I mean... She has a date.
124
00:07:39,224 --> 00:07:42,126
Oh, Lucas, what a relief!
What a relief.
125
00:07:42,193 --> 00:07:44,262
So, you didn't even
want to go out with me?
126
00:07:44,329 --> 00:07:45,596
Not a chance!
127
00:07:49,567 --> 00:07:52,103
And you never wanted
to go out with me?
128
00:07:52,170 --> 00:07:53,338
Come on, get serious.
129
00:07:56,241 --> 00:07:59,377
You realize, of course, that we can't
let Blanche get away with this.
130
00:07:59,445 --> 00:08:00,811
She must be punished.
131
00:08:00,879 --> 00:08:02,180
Oh, no argument here.
132
00:08:03,215 --> 00:08:04,849
What do you have in mind?
133
00:08:04,916 --> 00:08:06,484
Well, she jerked us around.
134
00:08:06,552 --> 00:08:08,085
Let's jerk her right back.
135
00:08:08,153 --> 00:08:10,321
Let's see.
136
00:08:10,389 --> 00:08:14,459
Why don't we make her think that
you and I are gonna get married.
137
00:08:14,526 --> 00:08:17,361
Married? You and I?
138
00:08:18,997 --> 00:08:21,865
I have to admit, there's
a certain genius to it.
139
00:08:21,933 --> 00:08:23,300
Are you kidding?
140
00:08:23,368 --> 00:08:27,104
A Brooklyn Italian living
in Hollingsworth Manor?
141
00:08:27,172 --> 00:08:29,540
But wait a minute. How did you know
that I was a Brooklyn Italian?
142
00:08:29,608 --> 00:08:31,943
Oh, that's how Blanche refers
to you in her letters.
143
00:08:33,612 --> 00:08:35,646
Yes, she must be punished.
144
00:08:39,451 --> 00:08:41,819
Dorothy, I believe
this is the beginning
145
00:08:41,887 --> 00:08:44,288
of a long
and beautiful friendship.
146
00:08:44,890 --> 00:08:46,290
To revenge!
147
00:08:53,298 --> 00:08:54,999
Oh, look at this one.
148
00:08:55,066 --> 00:08:56,501
Scrunched-up little frown.
149
00:08:56,568 --> 00:08:58,235
Kind of reminds me
of my mother.
150
00:09:10,515 --> 00:09:13,084
♪ Good morning
151
00:09:14,286 --> 00:09:15,553
Good morning, Dorothy.
152
00:09:15,620 --> 00:09:16,987
How was your date?
Did you have a good time?
153
00:09:17,056 --> 00:09:19,290
Oh, Blanche,
I can't thank you enough.
154
00:09:19,358 --> 00:09:21,426
I had a fantastic time.
155
00:09:21,493 --> 00:09:23,828
Well, now, didn't I tell you?
156
00:09:23,895 --> 00:09:25,796
Go on now.
Don't leave anything out.
157
00:09:25,864 --> 00:09:28,632
Well, he was so thoughtful
158
00:09:28,700 --> 00:09:30,935
and considerate,
affectionate...
159
00:09:30,970 --> 00:09:32,202
With whom?
160
00:09:33,438 --> 00:09:35,873
With me.
161
00:09:35,940 --> 00:09:38,676
No, I had the time
of my life last night.
162
00:09:38,744 --> 00:09:40,444
And even if he never
calls again,
163
00:09:40,512 --> 00:09:42,946
at least we'll always have
164
00:09:43,014 --> 00:09:45,082
Don's Crab House.
165
00:09:46,217 --> 00:09:48,018
(DOORBELL RINGING)
166
00:09:48,086 --> 00:09:51,188
Ingrid Bergman had Paris,
my pussycat has crabs.
167
00:10:02,500 --> 00:10:03,935
Oh, girls,
168
00:10:04,002 --> 00:10:05,770
would you look at
what Uncle Lucas
169
00:10:05,837 --> 00:10:07,838
has brought his favorite niece?
170
00:10:10,241 --> 00:10:13,144
Dorothy, I didn't mean
to intrude without calling,
171
00:10:13,211 --> 00:10:15,246
but I didn't sleep last night
for thinking about you.
172
00:10:15,313 --> 00:10:17,248
Oh, no intrusion.
173
00:10:17,315 --> 00:10:19,651
I was afraid that I'd
never see you again.
174
00:10:19,718 --> 00:10:21,552
Never see me again?
175
00:10:21,620 --> 00:10:24,022
I'd buy a julep for the
ghost of General Grant
176
00:10:24,089 --> 00:10:26,190
before I'd let that happen.
177
00:10:26,258 --> 00:10:28,692
Oh, I was hoping
you'd say that.
178
00:10:31,597 --> 00:10:32,930
Dorothy...
179
00:10:34,600 --> 00:10:36,934
Dorothy,
I know this sounds impetuous.
180
00:10:37,002 --> 00:10:38,168
I know we just met,
181
00:10:38,236 --> 00:10:39,604
but I'm at that
stage in my life
182
00:10:39,671 --> 00:10:41,105
where I can't afford
to waste time.
183
00:10:41,172 --> 00:10:44,208
Dorothy, I love you
184
00:10:44,876 --> 00:10:46,677
and I want to know.
185
00:10:46,745 --> 00:10:48,646
Will ya... Will ya...
186
00:10:48,714 --> 00:10:50,814
I think he's gonna
ask her out again.
187
00:10:57,055 --> 00:10:58,890
Dorothy...
188
00:10:58,957 --> 00:11:00,357
(STUTTERING)
189
00:11:05,297 --> 00:11:06,563
Yes?
190
00:11:06,631 --> 00:11:08,666
Dorothy, will you marry me?
191
00:11:09,201 --> 00:11:11,169
Oh, Lucas!
192
00:11:11,236 --> 00:11:13,204
Oh, yes.
Oh!
193
00:11:13,271 --> 00:11:16,641
DOROTHY:
Oh, yes, yes, yes, yes!
194
00:11:16,708 --> 00:11:20,811
No, no, no, no, no!
195
00:11:21,313 --> 00:11:23,014
No!
196
00:11:23,081 --> 00:11:26,017
What in hell is
wrong with you two?
197
00:11:26,919 --> 00:11:28,385
But you just...
You just...
198
00:11:28,453 --> 00:11:30,021
I don't know what to say!
199
00:11:30,088 --> 00:11:33,691
Well, whatever you decide, make
sure you start with "Aunt Dorothy."
200
00:11:40,832 --> 00:11:44,135
Wait! Wait a minute, wait!
201
00:11:44,202 --> 00:11:46,403
What in hell's the matter with you two?
You just met!
202
00:11:46,471 --> 00:11:48,072
You don't even know each other!
203
00:11:48,140 --> 00:11:51,876
This is how
the Eskimos do it, Dorothy.
204
00:11:51,943 --> 00:11:54,812
Listen, whatever it is you
might think you're feeling,
205
00:11:54,880 --> 00:11:57,014
it's just your hormones
playing tricks on you.
206
00:11:57,082 --> 00:11:58,583
The ears now!
207
00:12:02,120 --> 00:12:03,588
BLANCHE: Oh!
208
00:12:04,656 --> 00:12:07,224
My God!
What have I done?
209
00:12:07,292 --> 00:12:08,692
Oh, I think it's romantic.
210
00:12:08,694 --> 00:12:11,562
It's like something
out of a '40s movie.
211
00:12:11,663 --> 00:12:14,332
Strong, handsome, daring,
212
00:12:14,399 --> 00:12:16,133
and now she's got a man.
213
00:12:20,071 --> 00:12:22,706
Look, Lucas,
you cannot do this!
214
00:12:22,774 --> 00:12:24,542
What do you two have in common?
215
00:12:24,609 --> 00:12:26,677
I'll show you
what we have in common.
216
00:12:29,480 --> 00:12:30,681
(EXCLAIMING)
217
00:12:33,185 --> 00:12:35,453
Oh, Sophia,
for God's sake, speak up!
218
00:12:35,520 --> 00:12:37,221
Don't let her run off
with the first man,
219
00:12:37,289 --> 00:12:39,290
and I do mean the first,
that comes along.
220
00:12:39,358 --> 00:12:41,359
All right, all right.
221
00:12:41,426 --> 00:12:44,328
Now, listen, Johnny Reb.
222
00:12:44,396 --> 00:12:46,397
You marched through my front
door a total stranger
223
00:12:46,465 --> 00:12:47,965
and asked for my daughter's
hand in marriage
224
00:12:48,033 --> 00:12:49,867
without telling me
two words about yourself.
225
00:12:49,935 --> 00:12:50,868
What do you wanna know?
226
00:12:50,936 --> 00:12:52,269
Do you have any money?
227
00:12:52,337 --> 00:12:53,971
Quite a bit, ma'am.
228
00:12:54,039 --> 00:12:55,372
Your mother,
is she still alive?
229
00:12:55,440 --> 00:12:56,607
No.
230
00:12:56,675 --> 00:12:58,075
She is now.
231
00:13:01,345 --> 00:13:03,981
Blanche! Oh, honey.
Oh, Blanche.
232
00:13:13,058 --> 00:13:15,393
(SIGHS)
Well, it's been a long day.
233
00:13:15,460 --> 00:13:18,596
Especially for you, Blanche.
234
00:13:18,664 --> 00:13:21,666
I'm really enjoying this,
sitting here,
235
00:13:21,733 --> 00:13:24,535
just the three of us, having
quiet cup of coffee together.
236
00:13:24,603 --> 00:13:26,103
Me, too.
Because we don't...
237
00:13:26,171 --> 00:13:27,337
I said coffee!
238
00:13:35,981 --> 00:13:37,648
So, how does it feel?
239
00:13:39,551 --> 00:13:41,118
Shame. I feel shame.
240
00:13:42,720 --> 00:13:45,789
I can't believe
the two of you carrying on
241
00:13:45,858 --> 00:13:48,525
when another woman is
about to steal my destiny.
242
00:13:48,593 --> 00:13:49,961
I always thought it would be me
243
00:13:50,028 --> 00:13:53,197
closing out my last years
in Hollingsworth Manor.
244
00:13:53,265 --> 00:13:56,267
Look, if anybody has a right
to complain, it's me.
245
00:13:56,334 --> 00:13:59,069
When Dorothy gets married,
think about this,
246
00:13:59,137 --> 00:14:01,171
she'll be a Hollingsworth.
247
00:14:01,239 --> 00:14:03,540
Lucas and Blanche are
already Hollingsworth.
248
00:14:03,608 --> 00:14:07,011
Sophia will be
a Hollingsworth-in-law.
249
00:14:07,078 --> 00:14:08,913
Everybody will be
related but me.
250
00:14:08,980 --> 00:14:11,081
Now, that's what I call
family planning.
251
00:14:13,618 --> 00:14:15,419
It's not funny.
252
00:14:15,486 --> 00:14:18,855
Did anybody ever stop to think
how all this makes me feel?
253
00:14:18,923 --> 00:14:21,692
Well, all right, Rose,
how does it make you feel?
254
00:14:21,759 --> 00:14:24,262
To be honest, a little bit like Mr.
Snuffles.
255
00:14:25,930 --> 00:14:27,097
Blanche, would you mind?
256
00:14:27,165 --> 00:14:28,965
You're closer
to the knife drawer.
257
00:14:32,570 --> 00:14:34,171
One summer,
when I was a little girl,
258
00:14:34,239 --> 00:14:37,942
Henrietta, our pig,
gave birth to a litter of six.
259
00:14:38,010 --> 00:14:39,276
And the next day,
260
00:14:39,344 --> 00:14:41,611
my father won
the annual St. Olaf
261
00:14:41,679 --> 00:14:44,048
watermelon-seed
spitting contest
262
00:14:45,216 --> 00:14:47,518
and he brought home
a prize piglet.
263
00:14:47,585 --> 00:14:48,685
Mr. Snuffles.
264
00:14:48,753 --> 00:14:49,921
Exactly.
265
00:14:49,988 --> 00:14:51,222
You're listening?
266
00:14:53,625 --> 00:14:55,993
Anyway, I loved Mr. Snuffles.
267
00:14:56,061 --> 00:14:57,861
I watched him grow.
268
00:14:57,929 --> 00:14:59,497
I suffered with him.
269
00:14:59,564 --> 00:15:02,733
The way Henrietta's brood made
him feel like such an outsider.
270
00:15:04,736 --> 00:15:06,236
It was an awful thing to see.
271
00:15:06,304 --> 00:15:09,773
Hey, hearing it is
no walk in the park.
272
00:15:09,841 --> 00:15:13,677
Mr. Snuffles never did get over
his feeling of alienation.
273
00:15:13,744 --> 00:15:15,745
He grew fat and despondent.
274
00:15:15,813 --> 00:15:17,347
The last report we had on him,
275
00:15:17,415 --> 00:15:19,649
he stowed away
in a truck to Chicago
276
00:15:19,717 --> 00:15:23,053
and tearfully surrendered himself
to the Oscar Mayer people.
277
00:15:24,855 --> 00:15:27,625
I don't want that to
happen to me, Sophia.
278
00:15:27,692 --> 00:15:29,426
We can't promise
you that, Rose.
279
00:15:31,563 --> 00:15:33,063
I've got to do something.
280
00:15:33,131 --> 00:15:36,934
I can't just sit idly back and
let this wedding take place.
281
00:15:37,001 --> 00:15:43,006
Oh, how in the name of Mother
Dixie can a woman named Zbornak
282
00:15:43,074 --> 00:15:46,777
appreciate the majesty
of Hollingsworth Manor?
283
00:15:46,844 --> 00:15:48,879
Sitting on the veranda
with her mother.
284
00:15:51,916 --> 00:15:55,519
And what makes you think the newlyweds
are gonna welcome you on the premises?
285
00:15:55,587 --> 00:15:56,753
What are you saying?
286
00:15:56,821 --> 00:15:59,723
Uncle Lucas may not be
as fond of nasty, hateful,
287
00:15:59,791 --> 00:16:02,660
life-scarring barbs
as the rest of us are.
288
00:16:03,829 --> 00:16:05,162
And your point is?
289
00:16:07,265 --> 00:16:10,200
Dorothy and Lucas may
not want you around.
290
00:16:10,268 --> 00:16:12,236
Say, there's a fly
in the Metamucil.
291
00:16:16,474 --> 00:16:19,243
Well, Dorothy, it was very sweet
of you to join me tonight.
292
00:16:19,310 --> 00:16:22,312
Am I safe in assuming that
your first hardware convention
293
00:16:22,380 --> 00:16:24,281
is also your last?
294
00:16:24,348 --> 00:16:27,184
Does a roofing nail
have a flat head?
295
00:16:27,252 --> 00:16:29,219
Oh, you were actually
paying attention.
296
00:16:29,287 --> 00:16:31,321
Look, Lucas, no offense,
297
00:16:31,389 --> 00:16:34,090
but hardware doesn't sound
terribly romantic.
298
00:16:34,159 --> 00:16:36,092
So when you come by tomorrow,
299
00:16:36,161 --> 00:16:40,063
why don't you tell Blanche that you took
me to hear the Emerson String Quartet?
300
00:16:40,131 --> 00:16:41,832
I love it.
301
00:16:41,899 --> 00:16:43,099
Do you think they might buy
302
00:16:43,167 --> 00:16:45,870
that afterwards
we frolicked in the ocean?
303
00:16:45,937 --> 00:16:48,572
Oh, gosh,
I haven't frolicked since...
304
00:16:49,274 --> 00:16:50,507
Uh, well, since...
305
00:16:50,575 --> 00:16:53,677
Since the day I dropped my
mother off at Shady Pines.
306
00:16:55,647 --> 00:16:58,415
Coincidentally, that was the
last time I did a cartwheel.
307
00:17:00,652 --> 00:17:01,819
It was a good day.
308
00:17:03,955 --> 00:17:06,790
Of course, we could tell them
309
00:17:06,858 --> 00:17:10,994
that we went up to lovers'
lane and that we necked.
310
00:17:11,062 --> 00:17:12,596
Oh, well, then I'd...
311
00:17:12,663 --> 00:17:15,966
I'd have to smear my lipstick,
you know, for effect.
312
00:17:17,301 --> 00:17:18,769
Here, let me.
313
00:17:33,050 --> 00:17:35,085
I've been thinking about
your suggestion, Dorothy.
314
00:17:35,153 --> 00:17:36,186
You're absolutely right.
315
00:17:36,254 --> 00:17:37,621
The columns must come down.
316
00:17:37,688 --> 00:17:40,791
The new Hollingsworth Manor
should be red brick.
317
00:17:40,858 --> 00:17:41,959
Cape Cod.
318
00:17:42,027 --> 00:17:43,927
(EXCLAIMING)
319
00:17:43,995 --> 00:17:46,096
Blanche, I didn't know
you were home.
320
00:17:46,164 --> 00:17:48,466
Haven't seen too much of you
this trip, sugar plum.
321
00:17:48,533 --> 00:17:51,201
That's because you've been
too busy Yankee Doodlin'.
322
00:17:52,904 --> 00:17:55,205
Blanche, I'm sure
you don't mean that.
323
00:17:55,273 --> 00:17:56,840
You'll feel differently
when you come
324
00:17:56,908 --> 00:17:58,341
to the hoe-down
we're throwing
325
00:17:58,409 --> 00:18:01,344
on the anniversary
of Lee's surrender.
326
00:18:01,946 --> 00:18:03,613
(EXCLAIMS)
327
00:18:17,261 --> 00:18:19,563
Well, if it ain't the kinfolk!
328
00:18:21,966 --> 00:18:23,968
Ma, where did you
get that outfit?
329
00:18:24,035 --> 00:18:25,001
I bought it.
330
00:18:25,069 --> 00:18:27,571
Figured five Halloweens,
it'll pay for itself.
331
00:18:28,940 --> 00:18:31,475
Hope you brought
your appetite, young fella.
332
00:18:31,543 --> 00:18:35,079
I know you're gonna be
pleased with the dinner.
333
00:18:35,146 --> 00:18:38,415
Corn pone, succotash,
collard greens.
334
00:18:38,483 --> 00:18:40,183
And them's just the appetizers!
335
00:18:42,587 --> 00:18:44,087
Sorry to interrupt, everybody,
336
00:18:44,155 --> 00:18:46,022
but I have
an announcement to make.
337
00:18:47,591 --> 00:18:48,858
A mess o' something.
338
00:18:48,927 --> 00:18:50,961
I'll skeer us up
a mess o' something.
339
00:18:59,237 --> 00:19:02,640
Anyway, I've be doing
a lot of soul searching,
340
00:19:02,707 --> 00:19:06,677
and as long as the family isn't
gonna be together anymore,
341
00:19:06,745 --> 00:19:09,112
it's just not
gonna be the same.
342
00:19:09,180 --> 00:19:13,784
So I've decided I'm gonna move
in with my daughter, Kirsten.
343
00:19:13,851 --> 00:19:14,785
I think that's best.
344
00:19:14,853 --> 00:19:17,020
Leave?
You are going to leave?
345
00:19:17,088 --> 00:19:19,122
Rose, you can't do that!
346
00:19:19,190 --> 00:19:22,426
(EXCLAIMING)
Well, you see? Do ya?
347
00:19:22,494 --> 00:19:24,294
Because of your $1.98 romance,
348
00:19:24,362 --> 00:19:26,363
you are destroying the family!
349
00:19:26,431 --> 00:19:28,064
You are destroying the family,
350
00:19:28,132 --> 00:19:30,634
and I'm gonna be all alone!
351
00:19:30,702 --> 00:19:33,970
I'll make her a cup of tea
and calm her down.
352
00:19:34,038 --> 00:19:35,772
I better go talk to her.
Dorothy, wait.
353
00:19:35,840 --> 00:19:37,240
No, this has gone too far.
354
00:19:37,308 --> 00:19:40,844
I realize that, but you just
can't flat out tell her.
355
00:19:40,912 --> 00:19:43,380
If she realizes this is a
joke, you know Blanche.
356
00:19:43,448 --> 00:19:44,715
It'd do more harm than good.
357
00:19:44,782 --> 00:19:46,183
Well, then what do I say?
358
00:19:46,251 --> 00:19:47,851
I think I know something
that could work.
359
00:19:47,919 --> 00:19:49,987
We could break up
right in front of her.
360
00:19:50,054 --> 00:19:51,922
You mean, just like that?
Sure.
361
00:19:51,990 --> 00:19:56,259
Sometime between the succotash
and the mess o' something.
362
00:19:56,327 --> 00:19:59,129
We just blow up, and then I storm
out of here, and that's that.
363
00:19:59,197 --> 00:20:01,932
And I stay behind
and call off the wedding.
364
00:20:01,999 --> 00:20:03,267
It'd be perfect.
365
00:20:03,335 --> 00:20:05,169
Uh, Dorothy,
366
00:20:05,236 --> 00:20:08,572
it's not going to be easy
to fake a fight with you.
367
00:20:08,873 --> 00:20:10,240
What?
368
00:20:10,308 --> 00:20:13,176
Now, I want you to promise
that you're not gonna laugh,
369
00:20:13,244 --> 00:20:16,447
but these past three days
have been the lightest
370
00:20:16,514 --> 00:20:20,184
and the brightest that I've
known since Edna passed.
371
00:20:20,251 --> 00:20:22,519
And I just want to thank you.
372
00:20:22,587 --> 00:20:25,589
Well, I'm-- I'm glad.
373
00:20:25,657 --> 00:20:27,825
But, to tell you the truth,
I didn't even notice.
374
00:20:27,892 --> 00:20:29,392
(LAUGHS) I mean, I've been...
375
00:20:29,461 --> 00:20:31,929
I've been so busy
smiling myself.
376
00:20:31,996 --> 00:20:33,997
I'm-- I'm glad, too. I...
377
00:20:34,065 --> 00:20:35,199
Strange, isn't it?
378
00:20:35,266 --> 00:20:38,034
It just seems like
we've known each other
379
00:20:38,103 --> 00:20:39,836
for a lot more than three days.
380
00:20:42,240 --> 00:20:43,740
(RINGING)
381
00:20:47,879 --> 00:20:49,013
Cocktails!
382
00:20:51,516 --> 00:20:54,984
Oh, how classy.
A tribute to Hop Sing.
383
00:20:56,721 --> 00:20:59,523
Here you go, Sophia.
384
00:20:59,591 --> 00:21:03,093
Rose, before you pass these out,
darlin', I want to say something.
385
00:21:03,160 --> 00:21:05,662
Oh, Blanche, don't say
anything you're gonna regret.
386
00:21:05,730 --> 00:21:07,464
Leave me alone.
I know what I'm doin'.
387
00:21:07,532 --> 00:21:09,199
Would you two please sit down?
388
00:21:13,271 --> 00:21:15,338
A terrible mistake
has been made here,
389
00:21:15,406 --> 00:21:16,907
and I'm the one who made it.
390
00:21:18,009 --> 00:21:21,678
See, I thought
you all would go out once,
391
00:21:21,745 --> 00:21:23,113
and--and eat
a boring dinner,
392
00:21:23,181 --> 00:21:24,647
and tell each other
a couple of boring stories,
393
00:21:24,715 --> 00:21:26,316
and then get back
to your boring lives.
394
00:21:26,384 --> 00:21:28,185
No harm done.
395
00:21:28,252 --> 00:21:30,787
But somehow, some way,
396
00:21:30,854 --> 00:21:33,557
you seem to have taken
a liking to each other.
397
00:21:33,624 --> 00:21:37,294
You believe you were
meant to be together.
398
00:21:37,361 --> 00:21:39,762
Well, let me tell you
what I see.
399
00:21:40,264 --> 00:21:41,531
I see...
400
00:21:43,367 --> 00:21:45,668
I see a miracle.
401
00:21:47,472 --> 00:21:50,206
I see two people who've
been afraid to reach out,
402
00:21:50,274 --> 00:21:53,843
afraid to take that first
step toward real feeling.
403
00:21:53,912 --> 00:21:57,981
Two people gazing
into each other's eyes
404
00:21:58,049 --> 00:21:59,716
and--and sharing
each other's concerns,
405
00:21:59,784 --> 00:22:01,584
caring about
each other's happiness.
406
00:22:02,987 --> 00:22:05,122
I see two people in love.
407
00:22:07,191 --> 00:22:09,526
I was tryin' to drive
a wedge between you
408
00:22:09,593 --> 00:22:12,863
because I didn't
want to be left alone,
409
00:22:12,931 --> 00:22:14,898
but I'm ashamed of that now.
410
00:22:14,966 --> 00:22:18,267
So I'm not going
to oppose this union.
411
00:22:18,335 --> 00:22:19,703
I'm gonna celebrate it.
412
00:22:19,770 --> 00:22:21,104
I'm gonna lift a glass to it.
413
00:22:21,171 --> 00:22:23,373
I'm gonna ask God to bless it.
414
00:22:25,309 --> 00:22:29,379
Lucas, Dorothy,
from the bottom of my heart,
415
00:22:30,448 --> 00:22:31,882
congratulations.
416
00:22:32,584 --> 00:22:34,884
I love you both.
417
00:22:34,952 --> 00:22:38,555
Uh, Blanche, there is
something I must say.
418
00:22:39,890 --> 00:22:41,090
Dorothy...
419
00:22:43,961 --> 00:22:45,228
Dorothy,
420
00:22:47,298 --> 00:22:49,666
will you marry me for real?
421
00:22:53,938 --> 00:22:55,205
For real?
422
00:22:56,307 --> 00:22:57,574
For real.
423
00:22:59,243 --> 00:23:03,346
Oh, yes, Lucas.
Oh, yes, oh, yes.
424
00:23:11,455 --> 00:23:13,957
Is it my stroke
or did they do this already?
425
00:23:26,403 --> 00:23:28,205
Great. Nobody's home yet.
426
00:23:28,272 --> 00:23:29,840
I can't believe it.
427
00:23:29,907 --> 00:23:31,607
This is the first time
since we got engaged
428
00:23:31,675 --> 00:23:33,609
that we've had a moment
alone in this house.
429
00:23:33,677 --> 00:23:35,511
Well, let's not waste it.
430
00:23:43,354 --> 00:23:45,321
I just love watching
you two kids kiss.
431
00:23:45,389 --> 00:23:47,690
It's so beautiful to see.
432
00:23:47,758 --> 00:23:50,359
He loves you, pussycat.
He loves you.
433
00:23:50,427 --> 00:23:52,128
Listen, Luke,
I want you to know
434
00:23:52,196 --> 00:23:53,796
I don't feel like
I'm losing a daughter.
435
00:23:53,865 --> 00:23:56,166
I feel like I'm gaining a sucker...
Son!
436
00:23:58,102 --> 00:24:00,304
Son. Where did
that come from?
437
00:24:00,371 --> 00:24:02,605
Oh, the mind, huh?
438
00:24:02,673 --> 00:24:04,107
I can't wait to be your son.
439
00:24:04,175 --> 00:24:06,743
Oh, you are delightful.
Such a gem.
440
00:24:06,811 --> 00:24:08,812
Here. Get yourself
a girl tonight.
441
00:24:11,081 --> 00:24:12,615
We'll understand.
442
00:24:13,618 --> 00:24:15,419
Ma, please.
443
00:24:15,486 --> 00:24:17,654
We're trying to have
a private moment.
444
00:24:17,722 --> 00:24:19,156
Private, please.
What's private?
445
00:24:19,223 --> 00:24:20,590
I diapered you.
446
00:24:20,658 --> 00:24:22,192
Yeah, but you didn't
diaper Lucas.
447
00:24:22,259 --> 00:24:23,560
I'd like to.
448
00:24:25,996 --> 00:24:28,932
Ah, listen to me, I'm as
giddy as a 60-year-old.
449
00:24:30,868 --> 00:24:32,135
Honey, I'm glad you're okay
450
00:24:32,203 --> 00:24:34,271
with Ma's coming to live
with us in Atlanta.
451
00:24:34,338 --> 00:24:36,539
I really think she'd be a
little lost without me.
452
00:24:36,607 --> 00:24:38,474
It's my pleasure, Dorothy.
453
00:24:38,542 --> 00:24:40,343
I can see how close
the two of you are.
454
00:24:40,411 --> 00:24:42,445
And how close you are
to Rose and Blanche.
455
00:24:42,513 --> 00:24:44,881
We've all learned
a lot from each other.
456
00:24:44,949 --> 00:24:47,150
I mean, Ma taught me
life does not end
457
00:24:47,218 --> 00:24:49,520
because you've reached
a certain age.
458
00:24:49,587 --> 00:24:51,254
And I've become
much more comfortable
459
00:24:51,322 --> 00:24:53,957
with my sexuality
because of Blanche.
460
00:24:54,024 --> 00:24:55,659
And Rose has taught me...
461
00:24:59,663 --> 00:25:02,199
Rose has taught me...
462
00:25:02,233 --> 00:25:03,433
It's not important.
463
00:25:03,500 --> 00:25:04,968
No, wait, no, I can do this.
464
00:25:05,036 --> 00:25:07,504
Rose has taught me...
465
00:25:07,571 --> 00:25:10,006
Let it go.
I need some time with this.
466
00:25:11,508 --> 00:25:15,779
Anyway, because of them I feel
that I'm ready to love you.
467
00:25:15,847 --> 00:25:17,480
A square knot!
468
00:25:17,548 --> 00:25:21,051
Rose taught me
how to tie a square knot.
469
00:25:21,119 --> 00:25:24,288
Well, I am glad somebody
taught you how to do this.
470
00:25:25,623 --> 00:25:27,057
(CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKING)
471
00:25:28,393 --> 00:25:30,327
I just love to
watch you two kiss.
472
00:25:30,395 --> 00:25:32,295
The last picture was
a little blurry.
473
00:25:32,363 --> 00:25:33,696
It was hard to tell
who was who.
474
00:25:33,764 --> 00:25:35,165
No offense, pussycat.
475
00:25:36,134 --> 00:25:37,334
Pussycat, huh?
476
00:25:37,402 --> 00:25:39,269
Nobody's called me
that since the Navy.
477
00:25:44,675 --> 00:25:46,443
You know, I think
he's just nuts enough
478
00:25:46,510 --> 00:25:49,379
to actually turn up
at the wedding tomorrow.
479
00:25:49,447 --> 00:25:52,315
You're a furry little gnome,
and we feed you too much.
480
00:25:57,088 --> 00:26:00,791
Oh, Dorothy, good,
you're here. Listen...
481
00:26:00,858 --> 00:26:04,661
Um, well, this is going to be
our final night together here,
482
00:26:04,729 --> 00:26:08,965
and, well, we thought it might
be our last chance to say...
483
00:26:09,233 --> 00:26:10,366
No, don't say it.
484
00:26:10,434 --> 00:26:12,702
Don't say goodbye.
This is not goodbye.
485
00:26:12,770 --> 00:26:15,105
I don't want to turn
this into a sad thing.
486
00:26:15,172 --> 00:26:16,473
Me, neither.
487
00:26:16,540 --> 00:26:19,409
I promised myself
I wasn't going to cry.
488
00:26:19,477 --> 00:26:21,478
I'm going to laugh instead.
489
00:26:21,545 --> 00:26:23,080
(FEIGNING LAUGH)
490
00:26:25,283 --> 00:26:28,018
Well, now to be honest, it is
a little difficult for me.
491
00:26:28,085 --> 00:26:30,286
I mean,
everything happened so fast.
492
00:26:30,354 --> 00:26:34,023
My God, you and Lucas probably
haven't even slept together yet.
493
00:26:35,860 --> 00:26:37,660
Blanche, don't be ridiculous.
494
00:26:37,729 --> 00:26:40,030
I mean, I know he's your uncle,
495
00:26:40,098 --> 00:26:43,266
but you have to realize
that we're both adults
496
00:26:43,334 --> 00:26:46,970
and capable of a caring,
warm relationship.
497
00:26:47,038 --> 00:26:48,505
How was the sex?
498
00:26:50,007 --> 00:26:52,208
So good we named it!
499
00:27:03,954 --> 00:27:05,688
I thought I might
find you out here.
500
00:27:06,256 --> 00:27:07,390
You okay?
501
00:27:07,458 --> 00:27:08,958
I couldn't sleep.
502
00:27:09,693 --> 00:27:11,795
(SIGHING) I'm just...
503
00:27:11,862 --> 00:27:14,330
I'm just so mad at Dorothy.
504
00:27:14,398 --> 00:27:18,568
I mean, she won't let us say goodbye,
and I'm sorry, but I need to.
505
00:27:18,636 --> 00:27:20,603
Especially to you.
506
00:27:20,671 --> 00:27:23,006
I know, Rose,
but you know what?
507
00:27:23,073 --> 00:27:25,341
Dorothy's not here right now.
508
00:27:26,244 --> 00:27:28,478
Yeah. And if she was,
509
00:27:28,545 --> 00:27:30,180
what's the worst thing
she could do to us?
510
00:27:30,281 --> 00:27:33,083
Right. Can she intimidate us?
511
00:27:33,117 --> 00:27:34,785
Could she physically harm us?
512
00:27:34,852 --> 00:27:36,686
Can she make life
miserable for us?
513
00:27:36,754 --> 00:27:38,555
Blanche,
she can do all those things.
514
00:27:38,623 --> 00:27:40,624
I know it. I know it.
515
00:27:40,791 --> 00:27:43,727
But, oh,
I'm gonna miss you, honey.
516
00:27:43,794 --> 00:27:46,530
Oh, I'm gonna miss you.
Oh, I'm gonna miss you.
517
00:27:50,201 --> 00:27:52,602
I just love to watch you...
Whoa!
518
00:28:01,412 --> 00:28:02,846
What is this? Wimbledon?
519
00:28:07,451 --> 00:28:09,752
Oh, Sophia, stop that.
520
00:28:09,820 --> 00:28:13,289
Oh, Sophia,
I'm glad you're here.
521
00:28:15,626 --> 00:28:18,995
You know I'm moving in
with Kirsten tomorrow,
522
00:28:19,062 --> 00:28:23,333
and in a way, I'm gonna be the
Sophia of that household.
523
00:28:23,367 --> 00:28:27,270
And...
Well, how do you do it?
524
00:28:27,338 --> 00:28:29,673
So, you wanna be a Sophia?
525
00:28:29,740 --> 00:28:33,109
Okay. Lesson one.
Criticism.
526
00:28:33,176 --> 00:28:36,012
I think it makes
adult children stronger.
527
00:28:36,080 --> 00:28:39,382
It also makes them self-conscious,
which I think is funnier.
528
00:28:41,885 --> 00:28:44,254
Okay, you're talking
to your loved ones,
529
00:28:44,321 --> 00:28:45,889
complete this sentence.
530
00:28:45,957 --> 00:28:49,325
"I'm tired of spending time
with you miserable..."
531
00:28:49,393 --> 00:28:51,360
A. Gypsies.
532
00:28:51,428 --> 00:28:53,396
B. Bottom feeders.
533
00:28:53,464 --> 00:28:55,632
C. Howler monkeys.
534
00:28:57,001 --> 00:28:58,301
Howler monkeys.
535
00:28:58,368 --> 00:29:00,036
Howler monkeys.
536
00:29:00,104 --> 00:29:02,605
The correct answer is...
C. Howler monkeys!
537
00:29:02,673 --> 00:29:03,906
Yes!
Yes!
538
00:29:04,875 --> 00:29:07,877
No! I can't do this.
539
00:29:07,945 --> 00:29:10,080
Oh, this isn't who I am.
540
00:29:10,147 --> 00:29:11,815
I'm...
541
00:29:11,882 --> 00:29:14,217
Sophia, you can speak your mind
542
00:29:14,284 --> 00:29:16,786
because you know
you're needed around here.
543
00:29:16,854 --> 00:29:18,888
But Kirsten has her own family.
544
00:29:18,956 --> 00:29:21,191
I'll just be baggage there.
545
00:29:21,258 --> 00:29:23,226
I know a place
where you're needed.
546
00:29:23,261 --> 00:29:24,193
Where?
547
00:29:26,030 --> 00:29:27,463
Here.
548
00:29:27,532 --> 00:29:30,666
Rose, oh, stay with me, honey.
549
00:29:31,468 --> 00:29:33,236
Oh, Blanche, that's very nice,
550
00:29:33,304 --> 00:29:35,438
but you're gonna want to
get on with your own life.
551
00:29:35,506 --> 00:29:37,674
I mean, you'll want
to find a relationship.
552
00:29:37,741 --> 00:29:40,110
I want my best friend
right here with me.
553
00:29:40,177 --> 00:29:42,145
I need you in my life, Rose.
554
00:29:42,213 --> 00:29:44,948
You need each other.
Stay, Rose.
555
00:29:45,016 --> 00:29:47,050
This is your family now.
556
00:29:48,152 --> 00:29:49,285
Well...
557
00:29:50,454 --> 00:29:52,722
We do have a lot in common.
558
00:29:52,756 --> 00:29:55,258
Yeah. You're both
natural brunettes.
559
00:29:59,563 --> 00:30:02,398
Come on, get some rest.
Tomorrow's a big day.
560
00:30:02,466 --> 00:30:04,801
Thank you. Thank you, Sophia.
Good night.
561
00:30:05,736 --> 00:30:07,570
(BOTH GIGGLING)
562
00:30:13,577 --> 00:30:14,710
(SIGHS)
563
00:30:15,879 --> 00:30:17,513
Goodbye, my girls.
564
00:30:31,028 --> 00:30:32,662
ROSE: Oh, Dorothy.
565
00:30:32,730 --> 00:30:34,531
Oh, you're beautiful.
566
00:30:34,598 --> 00:30:37,567
Oh, pussycat, look at you.
567
00:30:37,635 --> 00:30:40,503
But to tell you the truth, I was
hoping you'd use my wedding dress.
568
00:30:44,708 --> 00:30:45,975
That's nice, Ma.
569
00:30:46,043 --> 00:30:47,710
As what? A hand puppet?
570
00:30:51,615 --> 00:30:53,116
(CAR HORN BLARING)
571
00:30:56,786 --> 00:30:59,155
Oh, Dorothy, there's a
limousine out front.
572
00:30:59,222 --> 00:31:02,391
Oh, Lucas must've sent it.
Oh, he's so romantic.
573
00:31:02,459 --> 00:31:04,460
Oh, but, Ma, wait.
I haven't finished packing.
574
00:31:04,528 --> 00:31:06,162
You'll come back
later and pack.
575
00:31:06,230 --> 00:31:09,399
Yeah, relax, Dorothy, you're
carrying on like a howler monkey.
576
00:31:12,669 --> 00:31:14,871
You've been coaching her,
haven't you?
577
00:31:22,346 --> 00:31:25,148
DOROTHY: So sweet of
Lucas to do this.
578
00:31:25,150 --> 00:31:28,084
I guess he wanted to make sure
I got to the church on time.
579
00:31:28,151 --> 00:31:29,986
Oh, what a darling.
580
00:31:32,923 --> 00:31:35,758
Actually, I think...
I think Maple is quicker.
581
00:31:35,826 --> 00:31:38,027
This heads out
to the expressway.
582
00:31:40,430 --> 00:31:44,000
Driver? Driver, you're
headed for the expressway.
583
00:31:44,068 --> 00:31:45,902
Why don't you turn around?
584
00:31:46,503 --> 00:31:48,938
Driver. Driver, stop.
585
00:31:50,775 --> 00:31:53,810
Driver, I said stop!
586
00:31:53,877 --> 00:31:57,179
Driver, who the hell
do you think you are?
587
00:32:12,462 --> 00:32:16,866
Stanley, what are you doing?
Have you lost your mind?
588
00:32:16,934 --> 00:32:19,702
You're ruining
the biggest day of my life!
589
00:32:23,073 --> 00:32:25,541
You're getting married and you
couldn't send an invitation
590
00:32:25,609 --> 00:32:26,843
to Stanley Zbornak?
591
00:32:26,910 --> 00:32:28,845
The man who gave you his name?
592
00:32:28,913 --> 00:32:31,814
I'm sorry.
The list was alphabetical.
593
00:32:31,881 --> 00:32:34,917
The Zionists aren't
speaking to me, either.
594
00:32:37,154 --> 00:32:39,589
Stanley,
what do you want from me?
595
00:32:39,657 --> 00:32:41,458
I want to show you something.
596
00:32:41,525 --> 00:32:44,227
Dorothy, you see this hair?
597
00:32:44,295 --> 00:32:47,297
It is the only one
on my forehead.
598
00:32:47,364 --> 00:32:49,432
The other traitors
receded years ago,
599
00:32:49,500 --> 00:32:54,370
but this proud and loyal
sprout clings desperately.
600
00:32:54,438 --> 00:32:57,840
It is unrelenting.
It is true.
601
00:32:58,842 --> 00:33:00,876
What about it?
602
00:33:00,944 --> 00:33:05,381
Dorothy, it is this hair that I
hate more than all the others.
603
00:33:05,449 --> 00:33:07,150
It mocks me.
604
00:33:08,152 --> 00:33:09,552
You're psychotic.
605
00:33:11,855 --> 00:33:13,089
Because I'm bald?
606
00:33:13,157 --> 00:33:15,157
Because you're kidnapping me!
607
00:33:15,225 --> 00:33:17,226
I'm not kidnapping you.
608
00:33:17,294 --> 00:33:20,596
I'm taking you to church.
In style.
609
00:33:21,965 --> 00:33:23,299
You are?
610
00:33:23,334 --> 00:33:25,367
This is my gift to you.
611
00:33:27,237 --> 00:33:32,008
I just wanted a minute alone
with you to give my blessings.
612
00:33:32,076 --> 00:33:33,375
To show I care.
613
00:33:34,878 --> 00:33:38,480
Don't you see?
I am that hair.
614
00:33:38,548 --> 00:33:43,519
And you're my big,
crazy, bald skull.
615
00:33:45,255 --> 00:33:48,958
I may give you some reason
to resent me,
616
00:33:49,026 --> 00:33:53,296
but you cannot shake me.
I am loyal.
617
00:33:53,364 --> 00:33:56,999
Stanley, you wore
a toupee for 27 years.
618
00:33:59,169 --> 00:34:00,770
Don't mess with my metaphor.
619
00:34:03,574 --> 00:34:05,541
All right, Stanley, the truth.
620
00:34:09,146 --> 00:34:11,414
Things have been going
so well with Lucas
621
00:34:11,481 --> 00:34:13,583
I didn't want to deal with you.
622
00:34:13,651 --> 00:34:15,384
But, as Freud said,
623
00:34:16,386 --> 00:34:18,354
our beds are crowded.
624
00:34:19,389 --> 00:34:21,724
When I sleep with Lucas,
I'm not alone.
625
00:34:22,726 --> 00:34:25,428
There's this phantom
of you there,
626
00:34:25,495 --> 00:34:30,499
and he has the haunts of his prior
relationships, and, well, I...
627
00:34:32,036 --> 00:34:35,705
I can't pretend
you're not a part of me.
628
00:34:35,772 --> 00:34:38,608
So, what are you saying,
you slept with this guy?
629
00:34:42,445 --> 00:34:43,913
Stanley,
you're missing my point.
630
00:34:43,981 --> 00:34:45,648
We named it!
631
00:34:48,952 --> 00:34:50,486
What I'm saying is
632
00:34:51,888 --> 00:34:53,556
thank you.
633
00:34:53,624 --> 00:34:56,125
Stanley, for the first time
in a long while,
634
00:34:56,193 --> 00:34:58,628
you're really
acting like a man.
635
00:34:59,930 --> 00:35:01,463
I love you, Dorothy.
636
00:35:01,531 --> 00:35:02,932
I've always loved you.
637
00:35:03,600 --> 00:35:05,067
And I love you, Stanley.
638
00:35:07,805 --> 00:35:08,938
Now drive.
639
00:35:13,143 --> 00:35:15,377
(BRIDAL MARCH PLAYING)
640
00:35:24,388 --> 00:35:27,823
DOROTHY:I can't believe it.
This is for me.
641
00:35:27,891 --> 00:35:30,326
They're standing for me.
642
00:35:30,394 --> 00:35:35,465
My good friends.Oh, God, I
wonderwhat they're thinking.
643
00:35:35,532 --> 00:35:37,500
SOPHIA:My baby's getting married.
644
00:35:37,568 --> 00:35:39,168
This is too much.
645
00:35:39,303 --> 00:35:43,439
I'm overcome.I'm about to cry.
646
00:35:43,507 --> 00:35:46,142
I can't believe it.I'm actually about to cry.
647
00:35:46,710 --> 00:35:48,010
(SNEEZING)
648
00:35:48,945 --> 00:35:50,980
Wow. Misjudged that one.
649
00:35:55,385 --> 00:35:56,652
BLANCHE: Oh, look at her.
650
00:35:56,719 --> 00:35:59,521
I've never seenDorothy look so happy.
651
00:35:59,589 --> 00:36:02,791
Okay, that once,but she
didn't knowI was watchin'.
652
00:36:05,628 --> 00:36:08,831
And she looks so beautiful.
653
00:36:08,898 --> 00:36:11,633
Oh, my God, if a womanwith all
my giftsis jealous of her,
654
00:36:11,701 --> 00:36:14,703
I can't imaginewhat a woman
like Rosemust be thinkin'.
655
00:36:16,306 --> 00:36:19,742
♪ Hi-ho, the derry-oThe farmer in the dell
656
00:36:19,810 --> 00:36:24,013
♪ The farmer takes a wifeThe farmer takes a wife ♪
657
00:36:24,081 --> 00:36:28,217
SOPHIA:Such a beautiful bride
,such a lovely church.
658
00:36:28,285 --> 00:36:29,652
Such a long walk.
659
00:36:31,888 --> 00:36:34,657
Oh, God, my hamstring.
660
00:36:34,724 --> 00:36:36,492
I've blown out my hamstring.
661
00:36:37,494 --> 00:36:38,994
No, no. I'm okay.
662
00:36:40,497 --> 00:36:42,565
DOROTHY:Oh, and there's Lucas.
663
00:36:42,632 --> 00:36:45,734
So handsome. So strong.
664
00:36:45,802 --> 00:36:48,637
And he's right here with me.
665
00:36:48,705 --> 00:36:52,074
Lucas, you can probably hearevery word I'm thinking.
666
00:36:52,142 --> 00:36:54,142
LUCAS: Yes, Dorothy, I can.
667
00:37:01,318 --> 00:37:03,252
REVEREND: Remember, "ESP."
668
00:37:03,319 --> 00:37:05,153
Energy! Smile! Personality!
669
00:37:05,221 --> 00:37:07,756
They like me!
670
00:37:07,824 --> 00:37:10,393
Dearly beloved,
we are assembled here
671
00:37:10,461 --> 00:37:12,828
in the sight of God
and these witnesses
672
00:37:12,896 --> 00:37:16,465
to join this man
and this woman in matrimony,
673
00:37:16,533 --> 00:37:18,467
to marry them husband and wife
674
00:37:18,535 --> 00:37:20,370
in both interest and destiny...
DOROTHY: I'm here.
675
00:37:20,437 --> 00:37:23,072
I'm standing hereand he's standing there.
676
00:37:23,140 --> 00:37:24,607
Instituted by God...
677
00:37:24,675 --> 00:37:27,910
And I actually love him.I love the man.
678
00:37:27,978 --> 00:37:30,280
And not out of desperation.
679
00:37:30,347 --> 00:37:35,151
Dorothy Zbornakhas finally
conqueredher desperation!
680
00:37:35,218 --> 00:37:36,718
Dorothy...
I do!
681
00:37:36,786 --> 00:37:37,920
(ALL LAUGHING)
682
00:37:42,993 --> 00:37:45,495
Oh, what the heck.
I do, too.
683
00:37:45,562 --> 00:37:46,762
(ALL LAUGHING)
684
00:37:48,932 --> 00:37:50,866
DOROTHY:God, I love this man.
685
00:37:50,934 --> 00:37:52,535
Hey, you two.
686
00:37:52,602 --> 00:37:54,570
You're not married
until I say so!
687
00:37:54,638 --> 00:37:56,038
(ALL LAUGHING)
688
00:37:57,574 --> 00:37:59,308
REVEREND: Big smile now.
689
00:38:02,412 --> 00:38:06,415
They love me.These people love me!
690
00:38:06,483 --> 00:38:09,185
Dorothy and Lucas,
would you please join hands?
691
00:38:13,757 --> 00:38:17,026
Lucas, do you take this woman
to be your wedded wife?
692
00:38:17,094 --> 00:38:19,528
Do you promise to love,
support and cherish her
693
00:38:19,596 --> 00:38:21,631
as long as you both shall live?
694
00:38:21,698 --> 00:38:23,599
I do.
695
00:38:23,667 --> 00:38:27,202
And Dorothy, do you take this
man to be your wedded husband?
696
00:38:27,270 --> 00:38:29,739
Do you promise to love,
support and cherish him
697
00:38:29,806 --> 00:38:31,107
as long as you both shall live?
698
00:38:31,174 --> 00:38:32,875
I do.
699
00:38:32,942 --> 00:38:36,345
REVEREND: May we have the ring, please?
Repeat after me.
700
00:38:37,514 --> 00:38:39,982
With this ring I thee wed...
701
00:38:40,049 --> 00:38:42,118
With this ring, I thee wed...
702
00:38:46,556 --> 00:38:47,556
♪ The farmer in the dell
703
00:38:47,624 --> 00:38:49,092
♪ The farmer in the dell
704
00:38:49,159 --> 00:38:50,927
♪ Hi-ho, the derry-oThe farmer in the dell ♪
705
00:38:53,130 --> 00:38:55,564
And I pledge
my love and loyalty
706
00:38:55,632 --> 00:38:59,401
in the name of the Lord.
Amen.
707
00:38:59,469 --> 00:39:02,738
Then, unless anyone here
has cause for objection...
708
00:39:04,274 --> 00:39:06,542
By the power
vested in me by God
709
00:39:06,610 --> 00:39:08,110
and the State of Florida,
710
00:39:08,177 --> 00:39:11,246
I now pronounce you
husband and wife.
711
00:39:11,314 --> 00:39:13,181
Lucas, you may kiss the bride.
712
00:39:27,764 --> 00:39:29,431
(ORGAN PLAYING)
713
00:39:29,499 --> 00:39:31,400
SOPHIA: Oh, no.Of all the times
714
00:39:31,467 --> 00:39:33,235
for me to feela sneeze coming on.
715
00:39:38,308 --> 00:39:39,775
I'll be damned.
716
00:39:55,192 --> 00:39:59,061
Dorothy, I want to tell you
something, and this isn't easy.
717
00:39:59,096 --> 00:40:01,763
Not easy? For you?
Please, Ma.
718
00:40:01,831 --> 00:40:03,566
The day you stop
speaking your mind...
719
00:40:03,633 --> 00:40:05,034
I'm not going.
...is the...
720
00:40:05,903 --> 00:40:07,069
What?
721
00:40:07,137 --> 00:40:08,538
I'm not going
with you, pussycat.
722
00:40:08,605 --> 00:40:10,339
I'm staying here
with the girls.
723
00:40:11,041 --> 00:40:12,542
The girls?
724
00:40:12,576 --> 00:40:14,309
Rose, Blanche,
whatever they are.
725
00:40:17,747 --> 00:40:19,448
We discussed it
after the wedding and,
726
00:40:19,516 --> 00:40:20,917
pussycat, they need me.
727
00:40:20,984 --> 00:40:22,852
Ma. I need you.
728
00:40:22,919 --> 00:40:24,053
No.
729
00:40:24,120 --> 00:40:27,823
No, you need to be
married now. Alone.
730
00:40:27,891 --> 00:40:30,759
Frankly, I think I was in
the way the first time.
731
00:40:30,827 --> 00:40:35,197
Oh, no, you weren't.
Yes, you were.
732
00:40:35,265 --> 00:40:37,099
Dorothy, it's time
to leave the nest,
733
00:40:37,166 --> 00:40:41,037
and I think I've given you the
self-confidence to do that.
734
00:40:41,104 --> 00:40:44,940
I do want you to know that without
you and Blanche and Rose,
735
00:40:45,008 --> 00:40:47,610
I never would have
been ready to try.
736
00:40:48,778 --> 00:40:51,080
There's something
I want to tell you.
737
00:40:51,147 --> 00:40:55,050
It's been my great privilege
to be your friend as an adult.
738
00:40:55,118 --> 00:40:56,852
To spend these years with you.
739
00:40:56,920 --> 00:40:59,455
No, Ma.
It was my privilege.
740
00:41:03,293 --> 00:41:04,827
And something else.
741
00:41:05,996 --> 00:41:08,964
And that self-confidence
742
00:41:09,032 --> 00:41:13,669
is the greatest gift that you
could have ever given me.
743
00:41:15,739 --> 00:41:17,706
Yeah, I agree. Yes.
744
00:41:18,808 --> 00:41:20,375
It's a magnificent gift.
745
00:41:27,450 --> 00:41:28,750
You got everything you need?
746
00:41:28,818 --> 00:41:30,419
Yeah, I guess so.
747
00:41:30,487 --> 00:41:31,753
Gonna be a great honeymoon.
748
00:41:31,821 --> 00:41:33,389
Me, Dorothy
and Freddy Peterson.
749
00:41:33,456 --> 00:41:34,657
Who's Freddy Peterson?
750
00:41:34,724 --> 00:41:36,058
That's what we named it.
751
00:41:45,902 --> 00:41:47,069
Oh.
752
00:41:58,882 --> 00:42:01,817
I have packed my last suitcase.
753
00:42:01,885 --> 00:42:03,385
You ready, Dorothy?
754
00:42:03,453 --> 00:42:04,920
Ready, Freddy.
755
00:42:06,723 --> 00:42:08,523
Dorothy, they know.
756
00:42:11,895 --> 00:42:12,895
Oh.
757
00:42:14,497 --> 00:42:16,332
I--I'll be out
in just a minute.
758
00:42:18,068 --> 00:42:19,201
Okay.
759
00:42:29,145 --> 00:42:30,479
Well.
760
00:42:31,081 --> 00:42:32,314
Well.
761
00:42:33,483 --> 00:42:35,384
Yeah.
762
00:42:35,452 --> 00:42:37,319
I guess this is it.
763
00:42:37,387 --> 00:42:38,487
Right.
764
00:42:39,589 --> 00:42:40,856
Listen...
765
00:42:40,923 --> 00:42:43,225
Dorothy, you don't
have to say anything.
766
00:42:43,293 --> 00:42:44,393
I mean, what can you say
767
00:42:44,461 --> 00:42:48,364
about seven years
of fights and laughter.
768
00:42:48,431 --> 00:42:51,267
Secrets. Cheesecake.
769
00:42:52,302 --> 00:42:53,835
Just that
770
00:42:54,637 --> 00:42:57,906
it's been very...
771
00:42:57,974 --> 00:43:01,877
Well, it's been an experience that I'll
always keep very close to my heart.
772
00:43:01,944 --> 00:43:03,545
(CRYING)
773
00:43:03,613 --> 00:43:06,315
And that these are memories
774
00:43:07,583 --> 00:43:13,055
that I'll wrap myself in
when the world gets cold
775
00:43:13,123 --> 00:43:14,923
and I forget that
there are people
776
00:43:14,991 --> 00:43:18,727
who are warm and loving and...
777
00:43:20,030 --> 00:43:22,031
We love you, too.
778
00:43:22,098 --> 00:43:24,433
Oh! I'll miss you.
I'll miss you.
779
00:43:24,500 --> 00:43:27,036
(ALL SOBBING)
780
00:43:27,103 --> 00:43:30,105
BLANCHE: You will always
be a part of us.
781
00:43:31,707 --> 00:43:33,875
Your friendship
782
00:43:33,944 --> 00:43:38,347
was something I never expected
at this point in my life.
783
00:43:38,415 --> 00:43:43,052
And I could never have asked
for a better surprise.
784
00:43:43,119 --> 00:43:45,120
BLANCHE:
That's how we feel, too.
785
00:43:46,556 --> 00:43:48,424
I have to go.
786
00:43:48,491 --> 00:43:51,560
Dorothy, is this goodbye?
787
00:43:58,201 --> 00:44:01,037
I love you, always.
788
00:44:15,485 --> 00:44:17,052
Oh, God, I love you so much!
789
00:44:17,120 --> 00:44:18,120
(ALL SCREAMING)
790
00:44:18,187 --> 00:44:19,255
Oh, Dorothy!
Oh, Dorothy!
791
00:44:19,322 --> 00:44:20,989
Oh, Dorothy. Dorothy.
792
00:44:21,057 --> 00:44:22,358
(ALL SOBBING)
793
00:44:23,960 --> 00:44:27,296
Listen, Lucas is waiting.
794
00:44:30,700 --> 00:44:33,803
You're angels. All of you.
795
00:44:47,717 --> 00:44:50,286
Oh, God, I'm going to miss you!
Oh!
796
00:44:50,353 --> 00:44:52,487
(ALL EXCLAIMING)
797
00:44:52,555 --> 00:44:57,893
BLANCHE: Dorothy!
Dorothy! Oh...
798
00:44:57,961 --> 00:44:59,929
Oh, listen, I...
We have a flight.
799
00:44:59,996 --> 00:45:01,463
I should...
800
00:45:03,967 --> 00:45:06,001
You'll always be my sisters.
801
00:45:07,437 --> 00:45:08,704
Always.
802
00:45:35,999 --> 00:45:37,800
(ALL SOBBING)
58329
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.