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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:34,000 --> 00:00:36,200 Don't get out of this bathtub! Julie! 2 00:00:36,500 --> 00:00:37,700 Julie! 3 00:00:38,000 --> 00:00:40,900 Julie Christina Ubriacco! 4 00:00:42,900 --> 00:00:45,000 You're dripping suds all over the place. 5 00:00:45,300 --> 00:00:47,800 Come here. Where are you? 6 00:00:48,200 --> 00:00:51,200 I don't want to brush my teeth. I brushed them Saturday. 7 00:00:51,600 --> 00:00:54,100 You'll have plants growing out of your mouth. 8 00:01:06,100 --> 00:01:07,700 Honey? 9 00:01:08,000 --> 00:01:10,000 Are you all right? 10 00:01:15,300 --> 00:01:18,500 This is why we don't run around all wet. 11 00:01:21,400 --> 00:01:24,400 I don't want to go to bed. 12 00:01:24,800 --> 00:01:28,400 - You got to go to bed. - I went to bed last night. 13 00:01:28,900 --> 00:01:31,300 How many times a week do I have to go to bed? 14 00:01:31,600 --> 00:01:35,700 Once upon a time, there was a princess and she moved to Queens. The end. 15 00:01:36,100 --> 00:01:37,700 That's not a story. 16 00:01:38,000 --> 00:01:40,800 It is tonight. Good night. 17 00:01:41,300 --> 00:01:43,700 - Change partners. - Do-si-do. 18 00:01:44,000 --> 00:01:45,700 Daddy, tell me a story. 19 00:01:46,000 --> 00:01:47,900 Two nuns walk into a bar... 20 00:01:48,200 --> 00:01:50,300 - James! - What? 21 00:01:50,700 --> 00:01:51,800 Oh, man. 22 00:01:52,100 --> 00:01:55,000 - Night-light! - Night-light! 23 00:01:56,700 --> 00:01:58,800 Damn! Honey... 24 00:02:01,700 --> 00:02:03,400 ...did you leave that truck there? 25 00:02:03,700 --> 00:02:06,400 - Mikey did it. - Good night, Julie. 26 00:02:07,300 --> 00:02:08,900 Mom, want to play teacups? 27 00:02:09,200 --> 00:02:11,700 No, I don't want to play teacups. Good night. 28 00:02:12,000 --> 00:02:13,000 Good night. 29 00:02:13,200 --> 00:02:15,200 Do I want to play teacups? 30 00:02:19,600 --> 00:02:21,100 Man, am I exhausted! 31 00:02:21,500 --> 00:02:24,400 I know. I feel like I can't move. 32 00:02:25,700 --> 00:02:28,200 Every night we go through the same thing. 33 00:02:32,500 --> 00:02:33,600 What? 34 00:02:33,900 --> 00:02:35,500 What is that look? 35 00:02:35,800 --> 00:02:37,200 Are you kidding? 36 00:02:38,100 --> 00:02:40,500 Honey, no. They're not even asleep yet. 37 00:02:40,800 --> 00:02:42,400 - They will be. - No, they won't. 38 00:02:42,700 --> 00:02:45,400 They're probably outside the door, playing teacups. 39 00:02:45,800 --> 00:02:47,600 Wait. No. Honey... 40 00:02:47,900 --> 00:02:49,700 ...they're probably right outside. 41 00:02:50,000 --> 00:02:51,900 Lock the door. 42 00:02:52,200 --> 00:02:53,800 Oh, Mollie. 43 00:02:54,300 --> 00:02:55,700 Oh, James. 44 00:02:56,000 --> 00:02:59,000 - Oh, Princess. - Oh, Trooper. 45 00:03:00,200 --> 00:03:01,600 It was a lovely evening. 46 00:03:01,900 --> 00:03:05,200 Was? I take you to the best dumpster in town... 47 00:03:05,600 --> 00:03:07,900 ...and all I get is a lick on the cheek? 48 00:03:08,300 --> 00:03:09,600 I'm not that kind of spaniel. 49 00:03:09,900 --> 00:03:12,400 Come on. You're the cutest thing on four legs. 50 00:03:12,800 --> 00:03:14,900 I think you're wonderful, but... 51 00:03:15,300 --> 00:03:17,400 ...I can't. 52 00:03:17,700 --> 00:03:19,000 Wait! Princess. 53 00:03:19,800 --> 00:03:21,300 I didn't want to tell you... 54 00:03:21,600 --> 00:03:25,000 ...but I'm going to the vet tomorrow. I may not make it. 55 00:03:25,400 --> 00:03:27,400 Oh, Trooper. 56 00:03:27,700 --> 00:03:28,800 Really? 57 00:03:29,000 --> 00:03:30,100 Bingo. 58 00:04:05,300 --> 00:04:07,100 Yes! I am the king! 59 00:04:07,400 --> 00:04:08,600 The king of the kennel! 60 00:04:09,000 --> 00:04:10,400 Losers! Losers! 61 00:04:12,300 --> 00:04:14,500 Who cares? She was a dog anyway. 62 00:04:14,800 --> 00:04:16,600 There's another one! Go for it! 63 00:04:16,900 --> 00:04:18,600 Don't tell the guys. 64 00:04:18,900 --> 00:04:20,600 Oh, boy! Oh, boy! Oh, boy! 65 00:04:21,500 --> 00:04:22,700 And another one! 66 00:04:23,000 --> 00:04:24,800 They're all over! 67 00:04:25,100 --> 00:04:26,600 Come to papa! 68 00:04:29,000 --> 00:04:31,600 What will the girls at the hydrant say? 69 00:04:32,000 --> 00:04:33,600 Ma, check it out. 70 00:04:33,900 --> 00:04:37,000 I got these things on my face to open. I can see! 71 00:04:37,400 --> 00:04:38,800 I can see... 72 00:04:39,100 --> 00:04:41,400 ...wrinkly butts! 73 00:04:41,800 --> 00:04:44,500 They're not mine. They're your brothers and sisters. 74 00:04:44,900 --> 00:04:47,500 Good. That makes me the cute one. 75 00:04:51,800 --> 00:04:53,500 So how did this happen? 76 00:04:53,800 --> 00:04:55,300 How did this happen? 77 00:04:55,600 --> 00:04:59,100 Look, here come the three kings. It must be a miracle. 78 00:05:01,000 --> 00:05:03,200 - Who were they? - They're my masters. 79 00:05:03,800 --> 00:05:05,300 They're hideous. 80 00:05:05,600 --> 00:05:09,100 They're just big dogs who walk funny. You take care of them. 81 00:05:09,500 --> 00:05:11,600 I don't want any stupid masters. 82 00:05:11,900 --> 00:05:13,500 Someday you will. 83 00:05:14,800 --> 00:05:17,900 I'll never get my figure back. It's Cycle Four for me. 84 00:05:23,700 --> 00:05:25,300 What are you colouring? 85 00:05:29,500 --> 00:05:31,200 Christmas list. 86 00:05:31,500 --> 00:05:34,600 Christmas list in September? What is that? 87 00:05:35,000 --> 00:05:37,400 A dog? We've been through this. 88 00:05:37,700 --> 00:05:39,900 But, Mom, we need a dog. 89 00:05:40,200 --> 00:05:44,700 Because, those guys who come to sell stuff, he could chew their legs off. 90 00:05:45,200 --> 00:05:46,600 That would be nice, but... 91 00:05:46,900 --> 00:05:49,200 And you could save money. He could babysit. 92 00:05:50,000 --> 00:05:52,100 You know dogs can't babysit. 93 00:05:52,400 --> 00:05:54,900 Dogs are smart. We could teach him stuff. 94 00:05:55,200 --> 00:05:57,700 Yes, we could. Like, how to pick up your room. 95 00:05:58,100 --> 00:05:59,500 - Cool. - Cool. 96 00:05:59,800 --> 00:06:01,800 I'll tell you what I will do. 97 00:06:02,100 --> 00:06:05,300 I promise you that we will buy you a dog. 98 00:06:05,700 --> 00:06:07,400 And I know you'll treat it well. 99 00:06:07,700 --> 00:06:11,300 But we live in this teeny apartment, and it wouldn't be fair to a dog. 100 00:06:11,800 --> 00:06:13,500 What if Santa thinks it is? 101 00:06:14,200 --> 00:06:15,600 Let's talk after school. 102 00:06:15,900 --> 00:06:17,400 You always say that. 103 00:06:17,800 --> 00:06:19,300 You always bug me. 104 00:06:19,600 --> 00:06:20,700 Bug, bug, bug. 105 00:06:21,000 --> 00:06:22,700 Go bug your teacher. 106 00:06:23,100 --> 00:06:24,200 Julie! 107 00:06:35,400 --> 00:06:38,700 Snap out of it, honey. Arert you bored with that tape yet? 108 00:06:39,100 --> 00:06:41,500 - It's good. - It's good? With a pass to Julie... 109 00:06:41,900 --> 00:06:45,900 ...up she goes. She scores a hundred million points. 110 00:06:46,300 --> 00:06:51,000 Most girls are obsessed with ponies, not sweaty men making jump shots. 111 00:06:51,500 --> 00:06:53,400 Should we be worried? Mike? 112 00:06:53,700 --> 00:06:57,100 It's the Suns. If it were the Mavericks, I'd be worried. 113 00:06:57,500 --> 00:06:59,000 Let me look at you. 114 00:06:59,300 --> 00:07:01,800 - I don't know about the tie. - What? 115 00:07:02,100 --> 00:07:03,300 Silly. 116 00:07:04,700 --> 00:07:07,200 You haven't seen the whole effect. Look at this. 117 00:07:08,000 --> 00:07:09,300 It does this. 118 00:07:10,700 --> 00:07:13,800 Are you going to wear that on a job interview? 119 00:07:14,200 --> 00:07:16,100 - It's a joke. - I know it's a joke. 120 00:07:16,400 --> 00:07:18,000 - No, you didn't. - Yes, I did. 121 00:07:18,400 --> 00:07:20,400 This is the tie I'm going to wear. 122 00:07:21,600 --> 00:07:22,800 That is a joke. 123 00:07:23,200 --> 00:07:24,800 What? 124 00:07:25,300 --> 00:07:29,000 They'll know my wife put me in this suit. It's the colour of poo. 125 00:07:29,400 --> 00:07:31,400 Daddy said, "poo." 126 00:07:32,500 --> 00:07:35,700 Mike, what do you think of this suit? 127 00:07:36,100 --> 00:07:39,000 - You look like my principal. - Even he thinks it's stupid. 128 00:07:39,400 --> 00:07:41,000 He isn't offering a dental plan. 129 00:07:41,300 --> 00:07:43,500 This isn't me. I want to be myself. 130 00:07:43,800 --> 00:07:46,200 You won't get this job if you're yourself. 131 00:07:47,300 --> 00:07:49,500 I didn't mean it to sound that way. 132 00:07:49,900 --> 00:07:53,400 A CEO of a corporation is looking for a certain demeanor... 133 00:07:53,700 --> 00:07:54,900 ...in a corporate pilot. 134 00:07:55,200 --> 00:07:57,700 Don't tell them you still drive a cab. 135 00:07:58,100 --> 00:08:01,100 Let me drive. Sit in back and act like you don't know me. 136 00:08:01,500 --> 00:08:04,100 - And don't tell long stories. - I won't talk. 137 00:08:04,500 --> 00:08:06,700 - You can talk, but, James... - What? 138 00:08:07,000 --> 00:08:08,800 - Don't tell jokes. - I'm funny. 139 00:08:09,000 --> 00:08:12,800 - You are funny, in sort of a... - Corny. 140 00:08:13,500 --> 00:08:14,700 Corny kind of funny. 141 00:08:15,100 --> 00:08:16,500 Bash Brothers! 142 00:08:19,100 --> 00:08:20,500 Look out for that pud... 143 00:08:24,100 --> 00:08:25,500 Sorry about the suit. 144 00:08:25,800 --> 00:08:29,000 My son kind of splattered me this morning. 145 00:08:29,400 --> 00:08:32,300 We were doing this kind of "Bash Brothers" thing... 146 00:08:32,600 --> 00:08:35,400 It's not spit-up or anything. It's just... 147 00:08:35,800 --> 00:08:37,300 ...mud. 148 00:08:38,100 --> 00:08:41,700 Frankly, Mr. Ubriacco, your r�sum� is not very extensive. 149 00:08:42,200 --> 00:08:43,600 I know that. 150 00:08:44,000 --> 00:08:47,100 Yet people who have flown with you insist that I meet you. 151 00:08:47,600 --> 00:08:48,800 Really? 152 00:08:50,100 --> 00:08:51,600 I'd be interested to know why. 153 00:08:51,900 --> 00:08:53,000 May I? 154 00:08:58,100 --> 00:09:00,800 Mr. Martin. I know why he recommended me. 155 00:09:02,400 --> 00:09:05,500 We're on this flight, and they're having a party... 156 00:09:05,900 --> 00:09:08,400 ...and singing that English song: 157 00:09:09,900 --> 00:09:13,300 You know, you're English. I get on the microphone and say: 158 00:09:18,900 --> 00:09:20,100 You had to be there. 159 00:09:20,700 --> 00:09:23,400 God, I hope he doesn't blow it. 160 00:09:23,700 --> 00:09:25,900 When he gets nervous, he gets honest. 161 00:09:26,200 --> 00:09:28,800 And that is a major business liability. 162 00:09:29,200 --> 00:09:31,900 - I think he'll be okay. - I think he's freezing up. 163 00:09:32,300 --> 00:09:36,200 I've been married to him long enough. I have ESP. He's freezing up. 164 00:09:36,600 --> 00:09:40,100 And he said, "That thing's been following me all day!" 165 00:09:45,300 --> 00:09:49,500 I'll make a souffl�. If that doesn't cheer him up, I don't know what will. 166 00:09:49,900 --> 00:09:54,500 It's not like we can't live off my paycheck. We have a hundred times. 167 00:09:54,900 --> 00:09:57,600 Pink! Mine's pink today. That's festive. 168 00:10:09,600 --> 00:10:12,800 Man, I can't believe it. I always wanted to fly a Falcon. 169 00:10:13,200 --> 00:10:17,400 - Honey, how did you find me? - They told me you were down here. 170 00:10:18,100 --> 00:10:21,000 Mollie, this is Samantha D'Bonne, my new boss. 171 00:10:21,300 --> 00:10:23,000 How do you do? 172 00:10:23,300 --> 00:10:24,700 I do just fine, thank you. 173 00:10:25,100 --> 00:10:26,800 Oh, honey... 174 00:10:27,800 --> 00:10:29,000 Congratulations. 175 00:10:29,500 --> 00:10:30,800 This is my son, Mike. 176 00:10:31,100 --> 00:10:34,500 - Hello. - Sometimes he gets stuff on his hands. 177 00:10:35,000 --> 00:10:37,600 - And my daughter, Julie. - Hello, Julie. 178 00:10:38,000 --> 00:10:39,700 Knock, knock. 179 00:10:40,500 --> 00:10:43,300 - Who's there? - Transsexual. 180 00:10:44,400 --> 00:10:46,400 - What's it mean? - It's an airline. 181 00:10:47,100 --> 00:10:48,600 Excuse me. 182 00:10:51,400 --> 00:10:54,500 So you work for Majique. That's a big corporation. 183 00:10:54,900 --> 00:10:56,600 Ms. D'Bonne is the president. 184 00:10:57,000 --> 00:10:59,600 You're the president? But you're so young. 185 00:11:00,000 --> 00:11:04,100 - I'm 30. I'm practically past it. - You can read about her in Fortune. 186 00:11:04,500 --> 00:11:06,400 You're in Fortune? 187 00:11:07,100 --> 00:11:09,100 Actually, it's two pages. 188 00:11:09,400 --> 00:11:11,500 Hey! Mikey! 189 00:11:13,100 --> 00:11:15,000 Wait! You'll end up in Guam. 190 00:11:15,400 --> 00:11:17,900 - Get back here. - I didn't do anything. 191 00:11:18,600 --> 00:11:20,300 Oh, God. Honey. 192 00:11:20,700 --> 00:11:22,500 They're a full-time job. 193 00:11:22,800 --> 00:11:24,600 Did you get off early from work? 194 00:11:24,800 --> 00:11:25,900 Yeah, I did. 195 00:11:26,200 --> 00:11:29,000 - Was it an office party? - I wouldn't call it a party. 196 00:11:29,300 --> 00:11:32,600 You never get off early. What did you do? VP! She got VP! 197 00:11:33,000 --> 00:11:34,900 - Did you get VP? - Not exactly. 198 00:11:35,300 --> 00:11:39,700 This is great! What a day! I get a job and you get... Oh, man! 199 00:11:40,600 --> 00:11:43,100 - Let's talk at home. - Give me the good news. 200 00:11:43,400 --> 00:11:45,300 I was fired! 201 00:11:48,600 --> 00:11:50,200 Oh, honey. 202 00:11:52,000 --> 00:11:55,800 - What happened? - I think it's because of the cutbacks. 203 00:11:56,200 --> 00:11:59,400 I asked if it was my work and they said no, it was great. 204 00:11:59,700 --> 00:12:02,700 They said I was the best, which is why I was most expensive. 205 00:12:03,100 --> 00:12:07,500 I said, "What if I'd been better? What would you have done? Shoot me?" 206 00:12:07,900 --> 00:12:10,400 You're better than that company. 207 00:12:10,700 --> 00:12:14,200 Nine years and they give me a cactus. 208 00:12:14,600 --> 00:12:15,800 A cactus, honey. 209 00:12:16,100 --> 00:12:19,000 Excuse me. I couldn't help overhearing. 210 00:12:20,000 --> 00:12:22,000 - Really? - I'm terribly sorry. 211 00:12:22,300 --> 00:12:24,000 Don't be. This is nothing. 212 00:12:24,300 --> 00:12:27,700 Financially, you don't need to worry about a thing. You see... 213 00:12:28,100 --> 00:12:30,300 ...l'm negotiating a merger with Maxim Conti. 214 00:12:30,700 --> 00:12:32,800 Next month alone, we'll be flying to Rome... 215 00:12:33,200 --> 00:12:35,100 ...Paris, New Zealand... 216 00:12:35,400 --> 00:12:38,000 I'll just keep him as busy as I can. 217 00:12:38,800 --> 00:12:41,300 That makes me feel a lot better. 218 00:12:41,700 --> 00:12:44,000 I'm sure you'll find something. 219 00:12:46,100 --> 00:12:47,500 Oh, honey. 220 00:12:47,800 --> 00:12:49,700 It'll be okay. 221 00:12:50,000 --> 00:12:51,700 - Knock, knock. - Nobody's home. 222 00:12:52,000 --> 00:12:53,300 - Knock, knock. - Nobody's home! 223 00:12:53,600 --> 00:12:56,600 - Knock, knock. - All right, who is it? 224 00:12:56,900 --> 00:12:58,300 - Buck. - Buck who? 225 00:12:58,600 --> 00:13:00,600 Buck, buck, I'm a chicken! 226 00:13:00,900 --> 00:13:02,800 Mom, can I kill her? 227 00:13:03,100 --> 00:13:04,500 Not before dinner. 228 00:13:04,800 --> 00:13:06,200 Knock, knock. 229 00:13:06,500 --> 00:13:09,600 Don't torture your mother, honey. 230 00:13:16,500 --> 00:13:18,100 He's cute. 231 00:13:19,100 --> 00:13:23,000 What's going on? Where are they taking everybody? 232 00:13:23,900 --> 00:13:26,000 I'm scared! I'm going to pee. 233 00:13:26,300 --> 00:13:27,900 Put him back. That's my brother. 234 00:13:28,600 --> 00:13:30,800 He's so fuzzy. 235 00:13:31,100 --> 00:13:32,900 Is that kibble on your hat? 236 00:13:33,100 --> 00:13:35,700 I like you. 237 00:13:37,000 --> 00:13:39,900 - Mommy, I want this one. - All right. 238 00:13:40,300 --> 00:13:42,600 Got any treats? I'm into treats. 239 00:13:47,200 --> 00:13:48,900 It's just me, huh? 240 00:13:49,600 --> 00:13:51,400 So nobody wants me? 241 00:13:51,700 --> 00:13:53,500 What's wrong with me? 242 00:13:53,900 --> 00:13:56,600 Okay, I drool more than some of the other guys. 243 00:13:57,000 --> 00:13:59,800 And I whine a little bit, sure. Who doesn't? 244 00:14:02,000 --> 00:14:03,900 You smell good. Like cookies. 245 00:14:06,000 --> 00:14:09,300 And dirt. Can I go with you? I like you. Please? 246 00:14:09,900 --> 00:14:11,400 Mikey? 247 00:14:11,700 --> 00:14:13,700 - Kid, take me. - Michael, get over here. 248 00:14:14,100 --> 00:14:16,700 Please? I'll eat shoelaces and vegetables. 249 00:14:17,000 --> 00:14:18,600 I'll even eat dog food. 250 00:14:18,900 --> 00:14:20,300 Kid! Don't go away! 251 00:14:20,600 --> 00:14:23,000 Where are you going? Where did you go? 252 00:14:24,200 --> 00:14:25,800 Bad smell. 253 00:14:26,100 --> 00:14:29,500 You don't look like dog people. You look like snake people. 254 00:14:30,300 --> 00:14:33,100 Not the neck! I hate that. 255 00:14:33,400 --> 00:14:34,800 He's kind of scrawny. 256 00:14:35,100 --> 00:14:37,100 I've coughed hairballs better-looking than you. 257 00:14:37,400 --> 00:14:38,800 Take him, don't take him. 258 00:14:39,000 --> 00:14:40,800 - Make up your mind. - I'll take him. 259 00:14:41,200 --> 00:14:43,900 Don't let happen to him what happened to the gerbils. 260 00:14:44,300 --> 00:14:46,800 Why don't I have a good feeling about this? 261 00:14:50,100 --> 00:14:51,400 So here they are. 262 00:14:51,700 --> 00:14:54,000 My new masters. 263 00:14:55,000 --> 00:14:56,300 Not! 264 00:14:57,900 --> 00:14:59,100 Swallowed a bug! 265 00:15:01,400 --> 00:15:03,400 Tuck and roll. Tuck and roll. 266 00:15:07,300 --> 00:15:09,800 Big room. Wonder where the walls are. 267 00:15:10,100 --> 00:15:12,600 Who needs masters? I can take care of myself. 268 00:15:15,200 --> 00:15:16,800 What kind of dog was that? 269 00:15:18,500 --> 00:15:20,300 Maybe I do need a master. 270 00:15:22,700 --> 00:15:26,100 How would you like to adopt a cute little pup? 271 00:15:26,400 --> 00:15:27,600 Same to you, pal. 272 00:15:27,900 --> 00:15:31,200 He was too skinny. Probably didn't have any good treats. 273 00:15:31,600 --> 00:15:34,200 Now if I was food, where would I be? 274 00:15:34,600 --> 00:15:37,600 In my stomach, because I would have eaten me already. 275 00:15:37,900 --> 00:15:39,800 Fatter people. This is good. 276 00:15:40,200 --> 00:15:43,100 There's gotta be treats around fat people. 277 00:15:43,500 --> 00:15:45,600 Doggie dish at 12:00. I'm coming in. 278 00:15:46,100 --> 00:15:47,600 What's this, metal food? 279 00:15:47,900 --> 00:15:50,500 Hey there, little fella. 280 00:15:50,900 --> 00:15:54,000 - You hungry? - Are you kidding? I just ate a nickel. 281 00:15:55,000 --> 00:15:56,600 What a guy. What do you got? 282 00:15:56,800 --> 00:15:59,300 Food? You going for food? 283 00:15:59,600 --> 00:16:01,000 Let me see what's in there. 284 00:16:01,300 --> 00:16:03,900 Get your hand away. I'll do it. I got it. 285 00:16:13,500 --> 00:16:16,700 I would like a Ferrari Testa Rossa... 286 00:16:17,100 --> 00:16:21,100 ...Alien Autopsy, a Super-Squirt Phlegm Gun with laser sight... 287 00:16:21,500 --> 00:16:23,600 ...a helicopter... 288 00:16:23,900 --> 00:16:25,100 ...a space suit... 289 00:16:25,400 --> 00:16:28,200 That goob's been up there for an hour. Get him off. 290 00:16:28,700 --> 00:16:31,900 I told you, Santa doesn't want you to be a naughty girl. 291 00:16:32,200 --> 00:16:33,700 Who are you, his mother? 292 00:16:34,200 --> 00:16:36,900 No, I'm a Vulcan. 293 00:16:37,200 --> 00:16:40,400 - How would you like a death grip? - Yeah, right. 294 00:16:41,000 --> 00:16:43,300 - A million dollars, a toy store... 295 00:16:43,600 --> 00:16:46,300 - Mom! - Mommy! 296 00:16:47,800 --> 00:16:51,900 See? I told you Mommy had a big, important job with Santa. 297 00:16:52,400 --> 00:16:55,700 - Hey, no cuts! - A spot. Tricked you. 298 00:17:04,700 --> 00:17:07,400 Hello there, everyone! 299 00:17:10,100 --> 00:17:13,800 Merry Christmas, everyone! 300 00:17:22,200 --> 00:17:24,100 - You look hot. - Yeah. 301 00:17:24,700 --> 00:17:27,400 - How's it going? - It's going bad. I hate children. 302 00:17:27,800 --> 00:17:29,600 I used to love them. Now I hate them. 303 00:17:29,900 --> 00:17:32,800 This music is driving me nuts. I want to hurt Bing Crosby. 304 00:17:33,200 --> 00:17:34,800 Something will come for you. 305 00:17:35,100 --> 00:17:38,700 - 40 interviews and no one's hired me. - Then it can only get better. 306 00:17:39,000 --> 00:17:41,900 - Maybe next year I can be a reindeer. - Look at the perks. 307 00:17:42,300 --> 00:17:44,200 Hey, guys. 308 00:17:44,400 --> 00:17:47,900 What are you standing there for? Mom's personal best friend, Santa... 309 00:17:48,300 --> 00:17:50,300 ...is ready to see you. Come on. 310 00:17:50,700 --> 00:17:52,300 There you go. 311 00:17:52,800 --> 00:17:54,400 There we go. 312 00:17:57,000 --> 00:17:58,600 Merry Christmas. 313 00:17:59,300 --> 00:18:03,100 - Well, how are you today... - Mikey. 314 00:18:03,800 --> 00:18:06,100 ...Mikey? - You know me? 315 00:18:07,300 --> 00:18:10,600 What would you like Santa to bring you this Christmas? 316 00:18:12,100 --> 00:18:15,400 - I want a dog. - A dog? Well, that seems... 317 00:18:15,700 --> 00:18:16,900 No. 318 00:18:17,200 --> 00:18:19,200 You see, Mikey... 319 00:18:19,500 --> 00:18:22,300 ...even Santa doesn't control some things. 320 00:18:22,900 --> 00:18:26,700 Now somewhere out there is the absolute perfect dog for you. 321 00:18:27,200 --> 00:18:28,700 Maybe he's already been born. 322 00:18:29,200 --> 00:18:31,300 Maybe he hasn't. But when he is... 323 00:18:31,700 --> 00:18:33,600 ...believe me, I'll know... 324 00:18:34,000 --> 00:18:35,200 ...and you'll get him! 325 00:18:35,500 --> 00:18:38,600 - So I'll get him for Christmas? - I'll do my best. 326 00:18:39,000 --> 00:18:42,100 - Thanks, Santa. - You're welcome, Mikey. 327 00:18:44,800 --> 00:18:46,600 Here's Santa. 328 00:18:48,100 --> 00:18:50,500 Hello, honey. 329 00:18:52,300 --> 00:18:54,200 Mommy! 330 00:19:01,000 --> 00:19:04,000 Santa is not mad at you. Now listen to Teddy. 331 00:19:04,400 --> 00:19:06,700 - Is Santa mad at Julie? - No. 332 00:19:07,000 --> 00:19:09,700 - Will Julie still get presents? - Yes. 333 00:19:10,000 --> 00:19:11,700 Give me kisses. 334 00:19:14,400 --> 00:19:18,300 Come on, Julie. Cheer up. How about a pre-Christmas present? 335 00:19:35,800 --> 00:19:39,800 I have to get these shoes off. My toes are curling. 336 00:19:40,900 --> 00:19:43,200 Good night, Prancer. Good night, Dancer. 337 00:19:49,500 --> 00:19:51,600 What's the matter with you? 338 00:19:51,900 --> 00:19:53,900 You don't know how to write? 339 00:19:54,400 --> 00:19:57,700 Yeah? You gonna send some monkey around to bust my knees? 340 00:19:59,300 --> 00:20:01,200 Hey, all right. 341 00:20:01,500 --> 00:20:04,400 I'll come up with a couple of bills for you. 342 00:20:04,800 --> 00:20:06,400 I was just kidding, okay? 343 00:20:06,800 --> 00:20:09,400 Yeah, and a merry to you too. 344 00:20:10,700 --> 00:20:13,000 You miserable sack of... 345 00:20:16,100 --> 00:20:18,000 You're a fake! 346 00:20:18,300 --> 00:20:21,200 - How could you let him see that? - You were watching him. 347 00:20:21,500 --> 00:20:22,700 I was calming Julie. 348 00:20:23,000 --> 00:20:25,800 - What did Mikey see? - Nothing, honey. 349 00:20:26,200 --> 00:20:28,300 - You said he was real. - I know, you see... 350 00:20:28,600 --> 00:20:31,000 The real Santa's busy, so he sends these... 351 00:20:31,300 --> 00:20:35,000 - Cousins. - That was Santa's cousin, Sidney Claus. 352 00:20:35,400 --> 00:20:37,500 He's Jewish. He's his Jewish cousin. 353 00:20:37,800 --> 00:20:40,500 But you said he was real. 354 00:20:58,200 --> 00:21:00,700 All right, you chipmunks, ready to sing your song? 355 00:21:01,000 --> 00:21:03,100 - I'll say we are. - Let's sing it now. 356 00:21:03,500 --> 00:21:05,000 - Okay, Simon? - Okay. 357 00:21:05,400 --> 00:21:07,200 - Okay, Theodore? - Okay. 358 00:21:07,500 --> 00:21:09,300 Okay, Alvin? 359 00:21:10,000 --> 00:21:11,300 Alvin? 360 00:21:12,000 --> 00:21:13,900 - Alvin! - Okay! 361 00:21:53,700 --> 00:21:55,600 Oh, Mikey, Mikey. 362 00:21:55,900 --> 00:21:58,800 What do you want? You want a pizza pie? 363 00:21:59,200 --> 00:22:01,500 Great. The Cornball Family. 364 00:22:02,200 --> 00:22:04,200 It didn't work. 365 00:22:10,000 --> 00:22:12,400 Honey, you used to love that song. 366 00:22:12,700 --> 00:22:14,800 What can we do to make you feel better? 367 00:22:15,400 --> 00:22:17,500 Just tell me the truth. 368 00:22:17,800 --> 00:22:19,700 There is no Santa, is there? 369 00:22:22,700 --> 00:22:24,800 Yes. There is, honey. 370 00:22:25,100 --> 00:22:26,600 But you know what it's like? 371 00:22:26,800 --> 00:22:30,800 I'll tell you. You know how in Cub Scouts you have den mothers? 372 00:22:31,200 --> 00:22:32,200 Well, Santa has... 373 00:22:32,500 --> 00:22:34,100 ...den Santas. 374 00:22:34,400 --> 00:22:37,400 Mike, you want to know the truth, right? 375 00:22:37,800 --> 00:22:40,300 You don't want us to lie to you... 376 00:22:40,600 --> 00:22:42,400 ...and this is the truth. 377 00:22:43,800 --> 00:22:45,800 You know the whole thing about... 378 00:22:46,100 --> 00:22:47,900 ...the North Pole? 379 00:22:48,200 --> 00:22:49,500 It's just a story. 380 00:22:50,100 --> 00:22:51,700 It's just a story. 381 00:22:52,000 --> 00:22:53,400 Santa is... 382 00:22:53,700 --> 00:22:55,100 Santa is really... 383 00:22:55,400 --> 00:22:56,600 ...from Finland. 384 00:22:57,700 --> 00:22:58,800 Finland. 385 00:23:00,300 --> 00:23:01,500 Give me a break. 386 00:23:01,800 --> 00:23:03,500 - No. He is. - How could he... 387 00:23:03,700 --> 00:23:05,700 ...get around the world in a night? 388 00:23:06,000 --> 00:23:07,600 - Finland Airlines. - Correct. 389 00:23:07,900 --> 00:23:09,900 And how could reindeer fly? 390 00:23:10,200 --> 00:23:11,300 Freight. 391 00:23:11,600 --> 00:23:15,500 And how come Rudolph's nose glows? What is he, radioactive? 392 00:23:16,300 --> 00:23:19,300 Well, how come your grandfather's nose glows? 393 00:23:20,800 --> 00:23:23,000 I have the answer to this question. 394 00:23:24,000 --> 00:23:26,500 Some things in life are magic. 395 00:23:26,900 --> 00:23:28,900 Santa is magic. 396 00:23:31,600 --> 00:23:32,900 Magic's for babies. 397 00:23:37,600 --> 00:23:39,300 Honey, nice try. 398 00:24:20,500 --> 00:24:21,700 Can I play? 399 00:24:22,000 --> 00:24:25,100 - With me? - Let's get busy. 400 00:25:08,000 --> 00:25:09,500 New York Centre. 401 00:25:09,800 --> 00:25:13,900 New York Centre, Fox Juliet, flight level 4-1-0. Roger. 402 00:25:14,300 --> 00:25:16,300 - Knock, knock. - Hi. 403 00:25:23,300 --> 00:25:24,700 How's the meeting? 404 00:25:25,400 --> 00:25:28,400 We're all posturing, making threats. Business as usual. 405 00:25:28,700 --> 00:25:30,500 Zero-5-8. Roger. 406 00:25:30,900 --> 00:25:33,300 We'll have to work through this weekend. 407 00:25:33,600 --> 00:25:35,900 Do you mind staying in Boston a couple of days? 408 00:25:36,300 --> 00:25:37,400 No. 409 00:25:37,700 --> 00:25:38,900 I'll buy you dinner. 410 00:25:39,200 --> 00:25:41,400 You don't have to. It's my job. 411 00:25:41,700 --> 00:25:43,600 So you'll keep me feeling guilty. 412 00:25:43,900 --> 00:25:47,200 Okay, but nothing fancy. Just a paper napkin place. 413 00:25:48,300 --> 00:25:51,200 Okay. Just don't sound too thrilled about it, will you? 414 00:25:53,500 --> 00:25:55,300 It's not that. 415 00:25:57,600 --> 00:25:59,600 I was just thinking about Mikey. 416 00:25:59,900 --> 00:26:01,500 - He's upset and... - Why? 417 00:26:03,300 --> 00:26:05,200 Mollie's gonna hate me for this... 418 00:26:05,600 --> 00:26:08,300 ...but I think we're looking at the D word. 419 00:26:08,700 --> 00:26:09,700 Divorce? 420 00:26:11,900 --> 00:26:13,300 No. 421 00:26:13,600 --> 00:26:14,900 Dog. 422 00:26:18,700 --> 00:26:20,900 Watch it, pussy. I'm walking here. 423 00:26:21,200 --> 00:26:23,700 Cats. Can't live with them, can't eat them. 424 00:26:24,000 --> 00:26:25,700 They're ruining this city. 425 00:26:26,000 --> 00:26:30,300 Look at those. Extra crunchy. Wrap them up, I'll take them to go. 426 00:26:30,700 --> 00:26:33,800 Step on me, lady, you get a nose in the crotch. 427 00:26:36,000 --> 00:26:37,200 Hey, pal. 428 00:26:37,700 --> 00:26:39,600 This was sitting on a park bench. 429 00:26:39,900 --> 00:26:42,200 Next to some guy who was eating it. 430 00:26:42,600 --> 00:26:46,000 Catch you later. I got a date with a cute Pekingese on Park Avenue. 431 00:26:46,600 --> 00:26:49,500 Face like a Mack truck, but what a body. 432 00:26:49,900 --> 00:26:52,400 What can I say? I'm a hound. 433 00:26:52,700 --> 00:26:55,500 Gotcha. Come on now, boy. No trouble. 434 00:26:55,800 --> 00:26:58,600 Okay, I didn't mean to steal that Frisbee. 435 00:26:59,000 --> 00:27:01,800 I thought two calzones were mating! 436 00:27:02,200 --> 00:27:03,400 Lousy dog cop! 437 00:27:06,300 --> 00:27:10,500 Hey, liver. Jeez, I could get used to this. 438 00:27:11,100 --> 00:27:13,300 You got liver? Hey, fellas! 439 00:27:13,700 --> 00:27:15,100 Spot here got liver. 440 00:27:15,500 --> 00:27:17,500 - He got liver? - That's a shame. 441 00:27:17,800 --> 00:27:20,200 Already? That's a crock. 442 00:27:20,500 --> 00:27:23,300 - What's wrong with liver? - That's your last meal, amigo. 443 00:27:23,700 --> 00:27:25,000 Then it's a big nap. 444 00:27:25,300 --> 00:27:26,500 What did I do? 445 00:27:26,900 --> 00:27:28,400 What did any of us do? 446 00:27:28,700 --> 00:27:29,700 I bit a cop. 447 00:27:30,000 --> 00:27:31,800 I got to talk to someone. 448 00:27:32,400 --> 00:27:34,400 Too late. Here comes Dave. 449 00:27:44,500 --> 00:27:47,100 Come on. Can't we work out some kind of deal? 450 00:27:47,500 --> 00:27:49,800 I got bones buried everywhere. I'll share them! 451 00:27:50,100 --> 00:27:53,700 - Hey, Dave. You big dumb clod! - Hey, ugly! 452 00:27:54,100 --> 00:27:56,000 You can't even pee right. 453 00:27:56,300 --> 00:27:58,100 Can I take a dump in your hat? 454 00:27:59,800 --> 00:28:02,100 Sorry, fella. It's time to go. 455 00:28:02,400 --> 00:28:04,200 Don't let him see your fear. 456 00:28:04,500 --> 00:28:06,800 Don't give him the satisfaction. 457 00:28:07,100 --> 00:28:09,400 - Kill Dave! - Kill Dave! 458 00:28:15,600 --> 00:28:18,400 - What are we doing? - We're going underwear shopping. 459 00:28:18,700 --> 00:28:20,600 - I don't like underwear. - You love it. 460 00:28:20,900 --> 00:28:23,000 - I hate them. - You love them. 461 00:28:24,200 --> 00:28:26,000 Look alive, guys! We got masters! 462 00:28:29,200 --> 00:28:30,700 Go ahead. 463 00:28:34,900 --> 00:28:37,100 I'm neutered. I've humped my last leg. 464 00:28:37,500 --> 00:28:40,000 I will follow orders! 465 00:28:40,400 --> 00:28:44,600 Yo, I can help you meet chicks. I got this Lassie thing down. 466 00:28:45,000 --> 00:28:47,100 You can call me Spot or Measles. 467 00:28:48,000 --> 00:28:49,700 Hey, kid! 468 00:28:50,600 --> 00:28:52,900 I do everything. Tricks! Roll over! 469 00:28:53,500 --> 00:28:54,700 What about this guy? 470 00:28:55,000 --> 00:28:57,000 Not a boy. I hate boys. 471 00:28:57,300 --> 00:28:59,000 He looks pretty cool. 472 00:28:59,300 --> 00:29:02,500 - He looks like a hot dog with ears. - I resent that! 473 00:29:04,300 --> 00:29:07,100 Here's the thing. I got puppies out there. 474 00:29:07,500 --> 00:29:09,700 Maybe. I don't know. I've been around. 475 00:29:10,100 --> 00:29:12,600 You know how it is. Give me a break. 476 00:29:12,900 --> 00:29:15,100 I promise I'll go straight. 477 00:29:15,500 --> 00:29:18,800 I'll even help out some blind guy with a pencil cup. 478 00:29:19,600 --> 00:29:22,400 I know that smell. Cookies and dirt. 479 00:29:23,700 --> 00:29:25,700 - That's my kid! - I said, let's move it. 480 00:29:26,000 --> 00:29:27,100 Move on this. 481 00:29:28,600 --> 00:29:31,000 Kid! You know me, don't you? 482 00:29:31,400 --> 00:29:32,900 Get me out of here! 483 00:29:34,400 --> 00:29:36,000 Him, Daddy. I want him. 484 00:29:36,300 --> 00:29:38,400 Thank you, thank you, thank you. 485 00:29:41,300 --> 00:29:43,300 You want him? 486 00:29:44,200 --> 00:29:45,200 Here you go. 487 00:29:45,500 --> 00:29:49,500 - We'll take him. - This one's scheduled to be destroyed. 488 00:29:49,900 --> 00:29:52,700 What? No way. Take me, I'm yours! 489 00:29:54,600 --> 00:29:56,600 - Well, he's been reprieved. - Yes! 490 00:29:58,400 --> 00:30:00,600 Okay, here we go. 491 00:30:02,900 --> 00:30:04,900 - What are you gonna name him? - Rocks. 492 00:30:05,300 --> 00:30:07,100 Rocks? How come Rocks? 493 00:30:07,400 --> 00:30:09,800 Because that's what he left in the back seat. 494 00:30:10,100 --> 00:30:12,000 Sorry about that. 495 00:30:12,300 --> 00:30:13,900 Oh, man! 496 00:30:15,300 --> 00:30:17,400 Here we are. This is where we live. 497 00:30:18,400 --> 00:30:20,100 Warm. Dry. No puddles. 498 00:30:20,400 --> 00:30:24,300 Wait a minute. Nice cushy thing to sleep on. A little lumpy. 499 00:30:24,600 --> 00:30:26,400 Maybe I'll just dig out the middle. 500 00:30:26,900 --> 00:30:28,500 Honey, is that you? 501 00:30:35,600 --> 00:30:36,800 Hello, James. 502 00:30:37,400 --> 00:30:39,200 What's going on? 503 00:30:39,500 --> 00:30:42,500 Samantha has brought us a big surprise. 504 00:30:42,900 --> 00:30:44,600 Really for Mikey and Julie. 505 00:30:48,600 --> 00:30:50,600 What a tiny kennel. 506 00:30:50,900 --> 00:30:53,000 I've seen enough. Bring the car around. 507 00:30:54,600 --> 00:30:55,700 Her name is Daphne. 508 00:30:56,000 --> 00:30:59,600 She's purebred and trained at the Radcliffe of obedience schools. 509 00:31:00,500 --> 00:31:02,500 Radcliffe, wow. 510 00:31:03,400 --> 00:31:04,700 Daphne, sit. 511 00:31:05,600 --> 00:31:06,600 Voil�. 512 00:31:07,100 --> 00:31:10,100 - Aerobics. - But where's my personal trainer? 513 00:31:14,600 --> 00:31:16,300 Isn't she a wonderful dog? 514 00:31:16,800 --> 00:31:19,200 I'll have my manicure now, please. 515 00:31:19,600 --> 00:31:21,700 - But I like Rocks bet... - A dog! 516 00:31:22,000 --> 00:31:23,500 A dog! 517 00:31:23,800 --> 00:31:25,900 Mikey, wow. Finally, a dog. 518 00:31:26,200 --> 00:31:28,300 Play with your rocks later. 519 00:31:29,000 --> 00:31:31,000 But as I was just saying to Samantha... 520 00:31:31,300 --> 00:31:35,400 ...we wouldn't dream of taking her precious baby away from her. 521 00:31:35,800 --> 00:31:37,900 And as I was telling Mollie... 522 00:31:38,300 --> 00:31:40,500 ...we're travelling so much... 523 00:31:40,800 --> 00:31:44,000 ...she doesn't get enough attention. - I think it's a great idea. 524 00:31:44,500 --> 00:31:46,100 Good. 525 00:31:48,300 --> 00:31:50,400 Radcliffe, honey. Radcliffe. 526 00:31:53,600 --> 00:31:55,700 Bye-bye, sweetheart. 527 00:31:56,100 --> 00:31:58,900 Bye-bye? You can't leave me with these people. 528 00:31:59,300 --> 00:32:03,100 They haven't been properly trained, or groomed, or... 529 00:32:03,500 --> 00:32:05,500 I'm getting a migraine. 530 00:32:06,000 --> 00:32:07,600 Goodbye, Mollie. 531 00:32:08,600 --> 00:32:10,700 I'll be sending over her things. 532 00:32:11,100 --> 00:32:13,400 - See you later, James. - Thank you. Bye-bye. 533 00:32:13,800 --> 00:32:16,000 Things? A dog has things? 534 00:32:16,400 --> 00:32:17,600 She's just being nice. 535 00:32:17,900 --> 00:32:20,800 The nerve! Coming in and treating us like a kennel. 536 00:32:21,200 --> 00:32:24,800 She dumps this dog on this family without even consulting me? 537 00:32:26,100 --> 00:32:27,500 Look what we got, Mom. 538 00:32:27,800 --> 00:32:30,300 His name's Rocks. 539 00:32:31,900 --> 00:32:35,200 Den. Don't even think about loving on me, pal. 540 00:32:38,100 --> 00:32:39,600 We already talked about this. 541 00:32:39,900 --> 00:32:43,800 Yes, we talked but we didn't decide. Now we have two dogs. 542 00:32:44,200 --> 00:32:46,300 If I take Rocks back, he'll be put to sleep. 543 00:32:46,700 --> 00:32:48,000 Take... What's her name? 544 00:32:48,300 --> 00:32:50,800 - Daphne. - Take Daphne back to Princess Di. 545 00:32:51,200 --> 00:32:55,400 I can't insult Samantha. This is the best job I've ever had. 546 00:32:55,900 --> 00:32:59,800 This is your responsibility. You brought these dogs here, you fix it. 547 00:33:00,200 --> 00:33:02,400 Or I will fix you. 548 00:33:05,000 --> 00:33:06,000 All right. 549 00:33:06,300 --> 00:33:08,500 This is my chair, this is my cup... 550 00:33:08,900 --> 00:33:11,500 ...and this is my stinky brother, Mikey. 551 00:33:12,000 --> 00:33:13,400 Schwing! 552 00:33:14,000 --> 00:33:15,600 Hello, baby! 553 00:33:15,900 --> 00:33:19,500 Oh, my! What a set of paws. 554 00:33:19,900 --> 00:33:22,700 Powder Puff, how about we nose through the garbage? 555 00:33:23,000 --> 00:33:26,400 - What cat dragged you in? - The kid sprung me from the joint. 556 00:33:26,800 --> 00:33:29,400 I don't associate with mutts. I've got papers. 557 00:33:29,900 --> 00:33:33,200 I been hit by those. Hurts like hell, huh, Daffy? 558 00:33:33,500 --> 00:33:36,200 It's Daphne, you tick magnet. 559 00:33:36,500 --> 00:33:38,500 Jeez! Like you never sniffed a butt. 560 00:33:38,800 --> 00:33:41,100 Why don't we keep them both for now. 561 00:33:41,500 --> 00:33:43,200 The one that works out, stays. 562 00:33:43,600 --> 00:33:46,300 The one that doesn't, we find another home for. 563 00:33:46,700 --> 00:33:50,200 - I don't know about that. - Come on. Look how happy they are. 564 00:33:50,600 --> 00:33:53,400 Wasrt there ever anything you really wanted? 565 00:33:57,900 --> 00:33:59,200 I'll never have breasts! 566 00:33:59,400 --> 00:34:01,100 Oh, honey. 567 00:34:03,700 --> 00:34:07,600 Okay. But the one that we choose not to keep goes. 568 00:34:08,000 --> 00:34:09,000 - Goes. - Goes. 569 00:34:09,300 --> 00:34:10,800 - Goes. - Swear. 570 00:34:12,000 --> 00:34:15,000 Don't. I don't want you to love me yet. Not yet! 571 00:34:15,800 --> 00:34:18,500 I'm telling you. You're not in the clear, buddy. 572 00:34:19,300 --> 00:34:21,400 Look! They like each other. 573 00:34:21,700 --> 00:34:23,800 - Mongrel. - Bitch. 574 00:34:24,100 --> 00:34:26,500 Look, honey, they like each other. 575 00:34:56,600 --> 00:34:58,600 I don't need a bath. I just lick down there. 576 00:34:59,000 --> 00:35:01,500 Trust me. I smell worse wet than I do dry. 577 00:35:01,900 --> 00:35:05,700 - Cut it out! I'm warning you. - Quick, Mike, grab his tail. 578 00:35:10,100 --> 00:35:12,100 What, no bubbles? 579 00:35:12,400 --> 00:35:14,900 And I see there's no slice of lemon. 580 00:35:15,200 --> 00:35:17,100 - Drink it. - Take it away! 581 00:35:17,400 --> 00:35:21,600 I don't know why they put my dish up so high, but they serve good food. 582 00:35:22,000 --> 00:35:24,000 Look at this cut of meat. 583 00:35:24,800 --> 00:35:27,700 Here we go. Gonna play "chase the meat" again. 584 00:35:28,100 --> 00:35:30,500 Eating and running are my two favourite things. 585 00:35:30,900 --> 00:35:34,600 I'm gonna eat this meat and save you the fat, big boy. 586 00:35:35,000 --> 00:35:37,100 Bad dog! Stop! 587 00:35:37,800 --> 00:35:40,700 I'm frizzing. Brush while you blow, please. 588 00:35:41,000 --> 00:35:44,200 Look at your hair. I can't believe I trust you with mine. 589 00:35:46,900 --> 00:35:48,900 What's this guy doing here? 590 00:35:49,200 --> 00:35:52,600 Gonna get some treats from the cabinet? Get some for me too. 591 00:35:53,500 --> 00:35:55,200 Hit the clicker! 592 00:35:55,500 --> 00:35:58,200 - Daphne, sit. - Oh, no, it's way back like this. 593 00:35:58,500 --> 00:35:59,500 Daphne, beg up. 594 00:35:59,800 --> 00:36:01,600 - Start with one hand. - Two hands. 595 00:36:02,000 --> 00:36:03,000 If you insist. 596 00:36:03,300 --> 00:36:05,400 Rocks, roll over. 597 00:36:06,900 --> 00:36:09,100 Roll over, like this. 598 00:36:12,800 --> 00:36:14,700 You guys are total entertainment. 599 00:36:15,000 --> 00:36:17,400 It's better than chasing hubcaps. Do it again. 600 00:36:17,700 --> 00:36:19,000 - Julie, paw. - Daphne, paw. 601 00:36:19,300 --> 00:36:20,600 - Good girl. - Good girl. 602 00:36:20,800 --> 00:36:23,300 You're getting so much better. 603 00:36:24,000 --> 00:36:26,100 - No! - What? 604 00:36:26,400 --> 00:36:27,900 No! 605 00:36:28,200 --> 00:36:29,300 What? 606 00:36:30,700 --> 00:36:33,000 - No! - What? 607 00:36:38,200 --> 00:36:40,300 Get that skinny man out my spaghetti. 608 00:36:40,600 --> 00:36:43,300 - Someone's playing with their food. - No, no! 609 00:36:43,700 --> 00:36:46,600 Kid, shoot one of them round, meaty things my way. 610 00:36:46,900 --> 00:36:48,400 Begging is so gauche. 611 00:36:48,700 --> 00:36:50,700 Come on, come through for me, will you? 612 00:36:51,000 --> 00:36:53,800 Come on, come on. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 613 00:36:54,100 --> 00:36:55,600 Yes, he scores! 614 00:36:56,100 --> 00:36:58,000 Hey! He threw a meatball! 615 00:36:58,300 --> 00:37:00,100 - Squealer. - Spaghetti face! 616 00:37:03,400 --> 00:37:06,400 What is that? Ice cream headache! Pain! Pain! 617 00:37:06,700 --> 00:37:08,300 Sorry, guys. 618 00:37:11,100 --> 00:37:12,500 Chicago. 619 00:37:17,100 --> 00:37:19,200 You kids behave yourselves. 620 00:37:20,900 --> 00:37:22,000 My poor nerves. 621 00:37:22,400 --> 00:37:26,300 - Little high-strung, aren't we, Daffy? - I'm just sensitive. 622 00:37:26,800 --> 00:37:29,100 You've got that skeevy inbred look. 623 00:37:29,400 --> 00:37:31,800 Mom knew her cousin a little too well, huh? 624 00:37:32,100 --> 00:37:34,300 Better than your mother knew your father. 625 00:37:34,600 --> 00:37:35,900 Put a sock in it. 626 00:37:36,200 --> 00:37:38,700 I hope you won't be gone very long. 627 00:37:43,200 --> 00:37:47,400 Hey, time for my walk, remember? I'm getting kind of squirmy here. 628 00:37:50,100 --> 00:37:53,900 Okay, you guys are busy. I'll go right here, no problem. 629 00:37:56,400 --> 00:37:58,300 - No! - What is he doing? 630 00:38:01,200 --> 00:38:02,200 Bad dog. 631 00:38:02,500 --> 00:38:04,400 Right hand, green. 632 00:38:05,700 --> 00:38:10,100 Unbelievably, incredibly, endlessly bad dog! 633 00:38:10,500 --> 00:38:13,500 I just marked that spot. I'll do it again tomorrow. 634 00:38:35,700 --> 00:38:37,200 - Hello? - Hi, honey. 635 00:38:37,500 --> 00:38:40,200 - How are you? - This has been a week of hell. 636 00:38:40,500 --> 00:38:42,900 - Is it Daphne? - No, it's not Daphne. 637 00:38:43,300 --> 00:38:45,900 It's that other moron, Rocks. He pees all over... 638 00:38:46,300 --> 00:38:50,700 - He'll grow out of that. - All right, he also is a shoe gourmet. 639 00:38:51,100 --> 00:38:53,900 He only eats Charles Jourdan, never my tennis shoes. 640 00:39:07,900 --> 00:39:09,400 Daddy. 641 00:39:12,400 --> 00:39:16,700 I'm sorry. I wish I could be there. I feel like I can train him. 642 00:39:17,100 --> 00:39:19,900 Doctor Dolittle couldn't train this dog. 643 00:39:20,300 --> 00:39:24,200 So, what do you think, hon? We should find him a new home? 644 00:39:26,300 --> 00:39:29,400 - Oh, man! You win again! - But of course. 645 00:39:30,900 --> 00:39:33,100 No. I'll give him one more chance. 646 00:39:33,400 --> 00:39:36,700 Great. If he chews anything else... 647 00:39:37,000 --> 00:39:39,500 ...he's gone. Okay? - Okay. 648 00:39:42,100 --> 00:39:44,700 I miss you. I'm excited about seeing you tonight. 649 00:39:45,000 --> 00:39:46,300 That's why I'm calling. 650 00:39:46,600 --> 00:39:48,500 We're going to France tonight. 651 00:39:49,000 --> 00:39:51,600 France? James... 652 00:39:51,900 --> 00:39:54,600 ...you've already been gone for two whole weeks. 653 00:39:55,000 --> 00:39:56,800 I've gotta go board now. 654 00:39:57,200 --> 00:39:59,300 All right. I'll tell the kids. 655 00:40:01,300 --> 00:40:02,900 Come say bye to Daddy. 656 00:40:07,100 --> 00:40:09,400 Honey! What were you doing? 657 00:40:09,700 --> 00:40:10,700 Flying. 658 00:40:11,000 --> 00:40:13,300 Flying? Honey, you can't fly. 659 00:40:13,600 --> 00:40:16,000 But those people can. 660 00:40:17,100 --> 00:40:22,000 That is make-believe, honey. Remember when we talked about make-believe? 661 00:40:22,400 --> 00:40:26,000 The basketball man isn't make-believe and they can fly. 662 00:40:26,400 --> 00:40:29,000 Do you like them because you think they can fly? 663 00:40:30,500 --> 00:40:33,600 They can't fly, either. But they can jump really high. 664 00:40:33,900 --> 00:40:35,200 Daddy flies. 665 00:40:35,500 --> 00:40:39,300 He does fly. But, honey, he flies in an aeroplane. 666 00:40:39,700 --> 00:40:42,300 Daddy doesn't fly... Daddy. 667 00:40:44,200 --> 00:40:45,400 James? 668 00:40:46,000 --> 00:40:48,300 James. Honey? 669 00:41:00,400 --> 00:41:02,200 Rocks! 670 00:41:02,700 --> 00:41:05,400 - I like yours. - Yeah, it's so cute. 671 00:41:05,800 --> 00:41:07,400 Where's your collage? 672 00:41:07,700 --> 00:41:10,800 - Didrt do it. - Miss Craig is gonna slime you. 673 00:41:11,200 --> 00:41:13,200 - Big deal. - Excuse me, ladies. 674 00:41:13,500 --> 00:41:15,900 Why didn't you do your assignment? 675 00:41:16,200 --> 00:41:21,000 It's stupid. We had to make a collage of things we asked Santa for. 676 00:41:21,500 --> 00:41:22,800 But there is no... 677 00:41:23,100 --> 00:41:26,000 Don't say that in front of Julie or anyone in class. 678 00:41:26,400 --> 00:41:29,000 You don't want to upset everybody, do you? 679 00:41:29,600 --> 00:41:31,200 - It's the truth. - What is? 680 00:41:31,600 --> 00:41:35,000 Nothing, honey. Mike, please, just do me this favour. 681 00:41:35,400 --> 00:41:37,500 Don't say anything to anybody. 682 00:41:38,100 --> 00:41:40,300 - Okay. - All right! Bash Brothers! 683 00:41:40,600 --> 00:41:43,200 - All right! We are Bash! We... - Mom. Mom! 684 00:41:43,600 --> 00:41:44,700 You're a girl. 685 00:41:45,900 --> 00:41:48,300 Sorry. He'll be back soon. 686 00:42:11,200 --> 00:42:13,900 - Did he win at the dog races? - Ma. 687 00:42:14,200 --> 00:42:16,500 Where'd he get the jacket? He looks... 688 00:42:16,800 --> 00:42:19,500 - Hot. The word's "hot." - Hot. Hot. 689 00:42:25,200 --> 00:42:29,900 Excuse me. This is a special evening. I'd like a bottle of Cristal. 690 00:42:30,800 --> 00:42:32,500 And this is for the table. 691 00:42:32,800 --> 00:42:34,500 He's picked up a few things. 692 00:42:38,800 --> 00:42:39,700 What? 693 00:42:40,000 --> 00:42:43,200 Six months in Miami, I return to the The Twilight Zone. 694 00:42:45,400 --> 00:42:47,200 You've had faith in me all these years. 695 00:42:47,500 --> 00:42:50,300 What better way to show my thanks to my mother-in-law... 696 00:42:50,600 --> 00:42:53,900 ...than to... - Rub her nose in it. I get it. 697 00:42:54,300 --> 00:42:57,100 You made good. I'm impressed. Okay? 698 00:42:58,000 --> 00:42:59,000 Okay. Thank you. 699 00:43:06,200 --> 00:43:08,100 Gentlemen, would you excuse me? 700 00:43:09,700 --> 00:43:10,900 There's Samantha! 701 00:43:11,200 --> 00:43:12,500 - Great. - What? 702 00:43:12,800 --> 00:43:16,000 I feel so schlumpy around her. Do I have dog hair on me? 703 00:43:16,400 --> 00:43:17,700 Hello, James. 704 00:43:18,000 --> 00:43:20,600 This is my mother-in-law. Rosie, Samantha. 705 00:43:20,900 --> 00:43:23,200 - How do you do? - Hello. 706 00:43:23,500 --> 00:43:27,000 - And you know my wife, Mollie. - Yes, of course, Mollie. 707 00:43:27,400 --> 00:43:30,200 - Nice to see you again. - Did you ever find a job? 708 00:43:32,400 --> 00:43:34,700 I'm starving. Let's order. 709 00:43:35,000 --> 00:43:36,100 Do try the duck. 710 00:43:36,400 --> 00:43:39,500 Samantha ought to know. She recommended the place. 711 00:43:40,000 --> 00:43:40,900 You did? 712 00:43:41,800 --> 00:43:44,500 How else would we get into a place like this? 713 00:43:46,800 --> 00:43:48,100 - Thank you. - My pleasure. 714 00:43:48,400 --> 00:43:50,800 Have a lovely, lovely evening. 715 00:43:51,200 --> 00:43:52,800 Nice jacket. 716 00:43:53,200 --> 00:43:56,600 She's teasing me. She bought this jacket for me. 717 00:43:57,900 --> 00:43:59,200 She bought it for you? 718 00:43:59,500 --> 00:44:01,900 We were in France, at a fancy restaurant. 719 00:44:02,200 --> 00:44:06,800 I couldn't wear my uniform, so she had her driver buy me this jacket. 720 00:44:08,800 --> 00:44:10,200 Of course. 721 00:44:11,500 --> 00:44:14,400 Gosh, she forgot her pocketbook. Hey, Samantha! 722 00:44:17,400 --> 00:44:20,300 Is it just me, or was she... 723 00:44:20,700 --> 00:44:22,700 I wanted to slap her teeth out. 724 00:44:23,000 --> 00:44:24,300 It's obvious, isn't it? 725 00:44:24,600 --> 00:44:27,300 She practically offered him Taster's Choice. 726 00:44:27,700 --> 00:44:29,100 I don't know what to do. 727 00:44:29,500 --> 00:44:31,900 I know people. We could have her audited. 728 00:44:32,800 --> 00:44:35,400 That is not a good idea. It's my fault anyway. 729 00:44:35,800 --> 00:44:39,100 I pushed him to make him exactly what I wanted him to be. 730 00:44:39,500 --> 00:44:41,400 And now he is. I hate it. 731 00:44:41,700 --> 00:44:43,500 He's a keeper. Talk to him. 732 00:44:44,100 --> 00:44:45,400 I know it. 733 00:44:46,200 --> 00:44:47,200 Can you excuse me? 734 00:44:47,400 --> 00:44:50,200 Good. Make a scene. Here, throw this in her face. 735 00:44:50,600 --> 00:44:53,400 Ma, I am just gonna call the sitter. 736 00:44:58,700 --> 00:44:59,700 Hello? 737 00:45:01,000 --> 00:45:03,000 Yeah, everything's cool. 738 00:45:03,300 --> 00:45:04,900 All right, bye. 739 00:45:08,300 --> 00:45:09,900 You hooligans. 740 00:45:10,200 --> 00:45:12,400 Well, what do you do for fun? Shed? 741 00:45:12,800 --> 00:45:15,900 At least I don't have vermin building condos in my fur. 742 00:45:16,200 --> 00:45:20,200 At this rate, you won't have fur. That kid's giving you a bald spot. 743 00:45:20,500 --> 00:45:23,800 My mistress is kind. Your child is demon spawn. 744 00:45:24,200 --> 00:45:25,600 "Your child is demon spawn." 745 00:45:25,900 --> 00:45:29,000 Quit brushing her. She already looks like a Q-tip. 746 00:45:29,400 --> 00:45:31,200 Your dog smells like a diaper. 747 00:45:31,500 --> 00:45:33,600 - Does not. - Diaper dog! Diaper dog! 748 00:45:33,900 --> 00:45:35,300 Q-tip-head dog. 749 00:45:35,600 --> 00:45:36,600 Stinky dog! 750 00:45:36,900 --> 00:45:38,300 Bald-butted dog. 751 00:45:42,800 --> 00:45:44,700 I got it! It's mine. No problem. 752 00:45:47,900 --> 00:45:49,000 I'm homeless! 753 00:45:53,500 --> 00:45:54,500 What happened? 754 00:45:54,800 --> 00:45:56,100 You mongrel wretch! 755 00:45:56,400 --> 00:45:59,400 - Get real. It's just a box, Daffy. - Daphne! 756 00:45:59,800 --> 00:46:01,000 Come on. I'm sorry. 757 00:46:01,300 --> 00:46:04,300 - Look, I can fix it. - I never want to see you again! 758 00:46:04,700 --> 00:46:06,200 It'll be tough. I live here. 759 00:46:06,500 --> 00:46:08,900 We'll just see about that! 760 00:46:09,300 --> 00:46:10,300 Let's see. 761 00:46:10,600 --> 00:46:15,400 She yells the most when he gets the ones in boxes. 762 00:46:16,700 --> 00:46:18,900 What does he see in these smelly things? 763 00:46:19,200 --> 00:46:23,700 Courage, Daphne, courage. You'll be rid of him soon. 764 00:46:24,200 --> 00:46:28,700 You think there's nothing weird about buying someone dinner and clothing? 765 00:46:29,100 --> 00:46:32,200 If a guy asks me to Le Cirque and buys me a teddy, it's okay? 766 00:46:32,600 --> 00:46:35,700 A jacket's not a teddy. This is a teddy. 767 00:46:36,800 --> 00:46:40,300 I'm trying not to be a shrew and scream and hate her guts. 768 00:46:40,800 --> 00:46:44,500 Although I wouldn't mind seeing her decomposing body by the river. 769 00:46:44,900 --> 00:46:47,400 You don't have to socialize with her. 770 00:46:47,700 --> 00:46:49,800 Just keep your eyes on the road... 771 00:46:50,100 --> 00:46:53,100 ...or the sky or whatever you keep your eyes on. 772 00:46:53,500 --> 00:46:56,200 Answer me this: Why is it that I can trust you... 773 00:46:56,600 --> 00:46:59,700 ...when you had an affair with a married client? 774 00:47:00,100 --> 00:47:03,100 That was 8 billion years ago! I never see him. 775 00:47:03,500 --> 00:47:06,800 How do I know that? I can only trust. I have faith in you. 776 00:47:07,200 --> 00:47:10,000 You don't have much faith if you keep bringing it up. 777 00:47:10,300 --> 00:47:15,100 I don't keep on bringing... Oh, honey, listen to us. 778 00:47:15,500 --> 00:47:17,500 After six years, we're still jealous. 779 00:47:17,800 --> 00:47:20,200 - Isn't that good? - I don't know. 780 00:47:21,100 --> 00:47:24,600 It's you I like. It's not Samantha. 781 00:47:25,000 --> 00:47:26,400 I like you. 782 00:47:26,700 --> 00:47:29,800 Honey, I'm crazy about you. I love you so much. 783 00:47:30,100 --> 00:47:34,100 Watch out for her. She's real flirty. I know about girls like that. 784 00:47:34,500 --> 00:47:35,900 I was one. 785 00:47:36,600 --> 00:47:39,000 - Okay. I promise. - Okay. 786 00:47:43,500 --> 00:47:44,400 He did it! 787 00:47:44,700 --> 00:47:46,700 Mom, it was her fault. 788 00:47:48,100 --> 00:47:49,200 I'll put them to bed. 789 00:47:49,500 --> 00:47:52,900 Honey, don't ruin it. Don't ruin the moment. 790 00:47:59,100 --> 00:48:01,100 - I don't want to go. - You have to go. 791 00:48:01,500 --> 00:48:04,600 - But you don't trust me. - I do. I do trust you. 792 00:48:06,400 --> 00:48:08,200 I don't trust her. 793 00:48:11,000 --> 00:48:12,800 You two, come on. 794 00:50:05,900 --> 00:50:06,800 Hi, honey. 795 00:50:07,100 --> 00:50:08,700 - Where are you? - I'm in London. 796 00:50:09,100 --> 00:50:10,900 I'm in San Francisco, honey. 797 00:50:11,200 --> 00:50:12,700 I'm in Reno. 798 00:50:14,700 --> 00:50:16,200 We're in Dallas. 799 00:50:16,500 --> 00:50:19,800 What do you mean I'm being audited? It's not even tax season! 800 00:50:41,500 --> 00:50:43,300 Mom? Where's Dad? 801 00:50:43,700 --> 00:50:45,200 He'll be home soon. 802 00:50:46,100 --> 00:50:48,700 Will he be here for Christmas? 803 00:50:49,400 --> 00:50:52,900 Your dad wouldn't miss Christmas for all the stars in the sky. 804 00:50:53,300 --> 00:50:55,000 What about the moon? 805 00:50:57,200 --> 00:50:58,800 The moon too. 806 00:51:00,200 --> 00:51:01,200 Bedtime. 807 00:51:01,500 --> 00:51:03,000 Bedtime. 808 00:51:10,600 --> 00:51:13,200 - I love you. - I love you too. 809 00:51:20,600 --> 00:51:21,800 Good night. 810 00:52:16,700 --> 00:52:19,100 - She thinks we're in Dallas? - She bought it. 811 00:52:19,400 --> 00:52:21,200 - Dumb cow! - Dumb cow! 812 00:52:35,900 --> 00:52:39,400 And what do you want for Christmas, little boy? 813 00:52:43,600 --> 00:52:45,700 Well, Mollie... 814 00:52:46,000 --> 00:52:48,900 ...I never asked you what you want for Christmas. 815 00:52:49,900 --> 00:52:54,800 Santa, I can't think of any present I'd rather have than you. 816 00:52:58,300 --> 00:52:59,600 Oh, Albert! 817 00:53:02,400 --> 00:53:05,300 Come here, you studmuffin! 818 00:53:40,000 --> 00:53:42,900 Honey, what are we doing? 819 00:53:43,500 --> 00:53:47,100 I don't know. This isn't us. We'd never do this. 820 00:53:47,500 --> 00:53:49,200 Do you think we're dreaming? 821 00:53:49,600 --> 00:53:52,500 I think it's one where you know you're dreaming. 822 00:53:57,900 --> 00:54:01,300 Excuse me, but we were having an affair. 823 00:54:02,600 --> 00:54:06,000 Does this mean we can do whatever we want to do in the dream? 824 00:54:07,100 --> 00:54:09,100 Excuse me. 825 00:54:20,600 --> 00:54:23,100 You see that? I told you they werert real. 826 00:54:29,400 --> 00:54:32,100 Honey, you know I can't dance. 827 00:54:32,400 --> 00:54:34,700 You can dance. This is our dream. 828 00:55:44,900 --> 00:55:46,800 Oh, James. 829 00:55:47,200 --> 00:55:50,000 Ex cuse me. Mistress? Please wake up. 830 00:55:50,400 --> 00:55:53,800 I need to be walked quite badly as a matter of fact. 831 00:55:54,200 --> 00:55:56,600 Oh, well, I'm a lady. I can hold it. 832 00:55:56,900 --> 00:56:00,100 No, I can't, I'm desperate! Oh, God, she's in a coma. 833 00:56:00,400 --> 00:56:01,700 Please wake up! 834 00:56:02,000 --> 00:56:05,900 I can't have an accident like a common mutt. It's too demeaning. 835 00:56:06,400 --> 00:56:09,600 Baby, you are so jumpy. Let her alone. She looks happy. 836 00:56:09,900 --> 00:56:11,500 Well, what am I supposed to do? 837 00:56:12,300 --> 00:56:14,000 - I'll take you out. - But how? 838 00:56:14,600 --> 00:56:15,800 Come on. 839 00:56:16,700 --> 00:56:19,100 But we need a master to open the door. 840 00:56:19,500 --> 00:56:20,800 Want to bet? 841 00:56:22,800 --> 00:56:24,000 How did you do that? 842 00:56:24,300 --> 00:56:26,300 I know things not taught in school. 843 00:56:26,600 --> 00:56:28,400 Ex cuse me. I was valedictorian. 844 00:56:28,800 --> 00:56:30,200 Give it up, kid. Come on! 845 00:56:30,500 --> 00:56:31,700 What about my leash? 846 00:56:31,900 --> 00:56:33,900 You haven't lived till you try it naked. 847 00:56:34,300 --> 00:56:35,900 Don't get fresh! 848 00:56:40,100 --> 00:56:42,500 - How about dinner out? - I'm not hungry. 849 00:56:42,900 --> 00:56:46,800 You dolls always say that. Forget your diet. Let's get Italian. 850 00:56:47,200 --> 00:56:50,400 No. I'm so fat these days, I look like an English sheepdog. 851 00:56:50,700 --> 00:56:52,300 You nuts? You look great. 852 00:56:52,500 --> 00:56:56,500 When I was young, I had one of those greyhound hardbodies. 853 00:56:56,800 --> 00:57:00,100 - What do you mean? You're a kid. - Well, I'm pushing 7. 854 00:57:00,500 --> 00:57:03,000 Seven? You don't look a day over 5. 855 00:57:03,300 --> 00:57:06,400 Do you really think so? Well, maybe a little Chinese. 856 00:57:06,700 --> 00:57:08,600 I know just the place. Follow me. 857 00:57:11,500 --> 00:57:14,100 Wait until you taste their moo goo gai pan. 858 00:57:14,400 --> 00:57:16,200 - Great. - Hope it's on the menu. 859 00:57:16,500 --> 00:57:18,800 But wait. Where are the dog dishes? 860 00:57:19,100 --> 00:57:20,700 We don't need no dog dishes. 861 00:57:21,000 --> 00:57:23,300 - What are you doing? - Getting us takeout. 862 00:57:23,800 --> 00:57:24,900 How clever. 863 00:57:25,500 --> 00:57:28,600 The green tea ice cream goes great with lobster sauce. 864 00:57:29,000 --> 00:57:30,900 - Oh, ex cuse me. - Good, huh? 865 00:57:33,800 --> 00:57:36,200 What do you think about the world at large? 866 00:57:36,500 --> 00:57:41,000 I must admit, there's a certain exhilaration to this leash-less state. 867 00:57:41,400 --> 00:57:45,400 When I think about it, Samantha never let me run free, or petted me... 868 00:57:45,800 --> 00:57:50,000 ...or played with me. Actually, I never liked her. You know what else? 869 00:57:50,400 --> 00:57:54,700 I hate this haircut. My butt is freezing! 870 00:57:55,400 --> 00:57:58,300 Nice butt. No offense, no offense! 871 00:58:01,500 --> 00:58:03,800 It's getting bright out. We should get back. 872 00:58:04,100 --> 00:58:07,100 - It's only the shank of the evening. - We really should. 873 00:58:07,500 --> 00:58:09,400 All right. I know a shortcut. 874 00:58:09,700 --> 00:58:11,900 - Through that? - Yeah. 875 00:58:12,200 --> 00:58:13,600 Wait a minute. What is it? 876 00:58:13,900 --> 00:58:16,500 Mud. You never seen mud before? 877 00:58:16,800 --> 00:58:20,100 It's mud. When the wet stuff comes down and hits the dirt. 878 00:58:21,000 --> 00:58:23,100 - Dirt? - Oh, you have been sheltered. 879 00:58:23,500 --> 00:58:26,200 I won't lie: It's not the highlight of our evening. 880 00:58:26,500 --> 00:58:29,100 Just gotta grit your teeth and slog through it. 881 00:58:29,400 --> 00:58:33,400 Oh, no, no, no. There is absolutely no possible way I could... 882 00:58:34,900 --> 00:58:35,900 Firm... 883 00:58:36,200 --> 00:58:38,900 ...yet squishy. 884 00:58:39,400 --> 00:58:40,600 Yeah. I'm sorry. 885 00:58:41,000 --> 00:58:43,500 Sorry? I like it! 886 00:58:43,800 --> 00:58:47,200 The oozy gooey-ness of it. It's so... 887 00:58:47,600 --> 00:58:48,900 ...sensual! 888 00:58:49,200 --> 00:58:51,600 - It's glorious! - It's mud. 889 00:58:52,500 --> 00:58:53,700 - Play with me! - Now? 890 00:58:54,000 --> 00:58:56,000 Play with me in the mud! 891 00:58:56,300 --> 00:58:58,300 You're a wild thing! 892 00:59:02,800 --> 00:59:05,300 This is totally filthy! 893 00:59:12,800 --> 00:59:15,900 By the way, I never asked you... What's your name? 894 00:59:16,200 --> 00:59:18,100 Me? They call me "No." 895 00:59:18,400 --> 00:59:23,300 Silly. "No" isn't your name! That's what they say when you're bad. 896 00:59:23,900 --> 00:59:27,000 No. What's another word they say all the time to you? 897 00:59:27,400 --> 00:59:29,200 There's that "Rocks" thing. 898 00:59:29,500 --> 00:59:31,800 Rocks! That's it. That's your name. 899 00:59:32,200 --> 00:59:34,200 You are one smart cookie, you know? 900 00:59:34,500 --> 00:59:35,900 You finally noticed. 901 00:59:36,200 --> 00:59:38,700 Well, be cool. Here comes the doorman. 902 00:59:44,000 --> 00:59:46,200 Permit me to walk you to your door. 903 00:59:46,500 --> 00:59:48,300 I almost hate for this to end. 904 00:59:49,000 --> 00:59:52,800 Well, Rocks, thank you for a wonderful evening. 905 00:59:53,100 --> 00:59:55,100 It's so ex citing out there. 906 00:59:55,900 --> 00:59:58,600 But it's nice to have a warm place to come back to. 907 00:59:59,200 --> 01:00:03,400 Where you don't fight for food, and people don't throw you into trucks. 908 01:00:03,800 --> 01:00:06,000 - You mean home? - Is that what this is? 909 01:00:06,300 --> 01:00:07,800 It's our home. 910 01:00:08,400 --> 01:00:10,300 Yeah. Home. 911 01:00:10,500 --> 01:00:12,900 - I like the ring of that. - No! 912 01:00:14,400 --> 01:00:18,000 Rocks! You have eaten your last shoe around this house! 913 01:00:18,400 --> 01:00:19,900 - Oh, no. - What'd I do? 914 01:00:20,300 --> 01:00:22,700 - You are out of here! - No! 915 01:00:23,100 --> 01:00:26,400 Mike, hold on. Honey, open the door. 916 01:00:26,900 --> 01:00:29,700 Mike, will you please open the door? 917 01:00:30,100 --> 01:00:32,000 I want Daddy! 918 01:00:36,000 --> 01:00:37,900 Merry Christmas, guys. 919 01:00:38,200 --> 01:00:41,800 Merry Christmas, Tom. Merry Christmas, Dave. 920 01:00:43,400 --> 01:00:45,600 Merry Christmas, Samantha. 921 01:00:48,800 --> 01:00:51,400 Oh, dear. This is going to be difficult. 922 01:00:51,800 --> 01:00:55,100 I spoke to Conti. After swearing he'd keep all our people... 923 01:00:55,500 --> 01:00:57,500 ...he now won't go through with the merger... 924 01:00:57,800 --> 01:00:59,800 ...unless I let go of 3000 of them. 925 01:01:00,100 --> 01:01:03,000 You're kidding. Well, can't you do anything about it? 926 01:01:03,700 --> 01:01:07,200 Well, I have this one chance. He has this cabin upstate. 927 01:01:07,600 --> 01:01:11,800 He wants me to go there, plead my case this afternoon. 928 01:01:12,700 --> 01:01:16,400 Oh, Samantha, it's Christmas Eve. I can't. 929 01:01:16,800 --> 01:01:18,600 I know. Believe me, I know. 930 01:01:18,900 --> 01:01:22,700 If there was any other way, but, I mean, 3000 people? 931 01:01:25,400 --> 01:01:27,500 Be right back. Ralph! 932 01:01:29,800 --> 01:01:31,900 Ralph, you're current on the Falcon, right? 933 01:01:32,200 --> 01:01:33,400 No. No way. 934 01:01:33,700 --> 01:01:36,200 - Don, I know you are. - Christmas Eve, man. 935 01:01:36,500 --> 01:01:38,700 - Bill, I'll give you $500. - I can't. 936 01:01:39,100 --> 01:01:40,900 - 600. - Hell, I'll do it. 937 01:01:41,200 --> 01:01:42,600 - 750. - We're married. 938 01:01:42,900 --> 01:01:45,800 We want to stay that way. Jerry might do it. He's single. 939 01:01:46,100 --> 01:01:48,100 Too late. He's on the runway. 940 01:01:49,200 --> 01:01:52,500 Jerry! Stop! Jerry, stop! 941 01:01:59,500 --> 01:02:01,500 Honey, I'm really sorry. 942 01:02:02,400 --> 01:02:05,300 I did everything I could to try to get out of this. 943 01:02:05,600 --> 01:02:08,000 My parents will be here in less than an hour. 944 01:02:08,300 --> 01:02:11,900 I'm still peeling potatoes and a sock's stuck in the garbage disposal. 945 01:02:12,300 --> 01:02:14,000 I'll take care of it later. 946 01:02:14,300 --> 01:02:17,500 And I'll be there for dinner, I promise. 947 01:02:17,900 --> 01:02:19,200 Can I talk to Mikey? 948 01:02:19,400 --> 01:02:23,100 Yes. Mike, it's your dad! 949 01:02:28,900 --> 01:02:30,500 - Hello. - Hey, Mike. 950 01:02:31,200 --> 01:02:34,700 I know that you're not feeling so good right now, but... 951 01:02:35,100 --> 01:02:36,100 When will you be home? 952 01:02:36,700 --> 01:02:38,400 I'll be home very soon. 953 01:02:38,800 --> 01:02:39,900 I want you now. 954 01:02:40,200 --> 01:02:41,400 I want to be there too. 955 01:02:41,700 --> 01:02:45,200 Hey, do you think Santa would keep us apart on Christmas Eve? 956 01:02:45,800 --> 01:02:48,100 I mean, no way. Right? 957 01:02:49,200 --> 01:02:50,500 Here's Julie. 958 01:02:53,300 --> 01:02:54,300 Hi, Daddy. 959 01:02:54,700 --> 01:02:56,600 - Knock, knock. - Who's there? 960 01:02:56,900 --> 01:02:58,000 - Mary. - Mary who? 961 01:02:58,300 --> 01:03:00,000 Merry Christmas, Daddy! 962 01:03:05,000 --> 01:03:07,400 - Hi, Rocks. - How you doing, kid? 963 01:03:09,000 --> 01:03:11,100 I'm sorry. Mom won't let you in the house. 964 01:03:11,500 --> 01:03:14,200 It's not like I never spent the night outside before. 965 01:03:16,400 --> 01:03:18,700 Why'd you have to go and chew on her shoes? 966 01:03:19,000 --> 01:03:22,300 It was me, Rocks. I did it. 967 01:03:22,800 --> 01:03:24,900 - I set you up. - I know. 968 01:03:25,700 --> 01:03:29,900 But it was before we... Oh, I'd give anything to take it back. 969 01:03:30,300 --> 01:03:32,400 Mom says you have to go away. 970 01:03:32,800 --> 01:03:36,700 It was only a matter of time. This home stuff was too good to last. 971 01:03:37,500 --> 01:03:40,500 Mom says someday I can get another dog. 972 01:03:41,500 --> 01:03:45,200 But I don't want another dog. You're my dog. 973 01:03:46,300 --> 01:03:49,700 It's okay, kid. I don't belong here. 974 01:03:50,100 --> 01:03:53,100 You're nice people. You deserve a classy dog like Daph. 975 01:03:53,400 --> 01:03:55,000 She's got looks, brains. 976 01:03:55,500 --> 01:03:57,400 Brains aren't everything. 977 01:03:59,000 --> 01:04:01,600 I may not be smart, but I know I'm out of here. 978 01:04:02,000 --> 01:04:05,200 You are smart. If you'd pay attention, you could learn... 979 01:04:05,500 --> 01:04:07,100 ...everything they'd want you to. 980 01:04:07,400 --> 01:04:09,800 What do you mean, tricks? It's too late. 981 01:04:10,100 --> 01:04:13,300 Not with America's most overtrained dog as your teacher. 982 01:04:23,800 --> 01:04:27,000 - Well, here we are. - Do you mind if I use the phone? 983 01:04:27,500 --> 01:04:31,400 Oh, no. There's one downstairs in the kitchen, to the right. 984 01:04:45,900 --> 01:04:48,200 This line is dead. Do you have another line? 985 01:04:48,500 --> 01:04:52,400 There's a fax machine here. Oh, what's this? 986 01:04:53,000 --> 01:04:57,200 It's from Conti. You read it. I can't see without my glasses. 987 01:04:58,800 --> 01:05:02,100 "Wort be in until late tonight, possibly first thing tomorrow. 988 01:05:02,500 --> 01:05:05,000 Don't leave. Please make yourself at home." 989 01:05:05,800 --> 01:05:07,000 Oh, man. 990 01:05:08,700 --> 01:05:11,000 - This is dead too. - Damn! 991 01:05:11,400 --> 01:05:13,200 I gotta go. I better stop the driver. 992 01:05:13,500 --> 01:05:15,600 - He's gone. - He's gone? 993 01:05:17,000 --> 01:05:19,200 I can't miss my family's Christmas. 994 01:05:19,600 --> 01:05:22,700 James, I feel absolutely ghastly about this. 995 01:05:23,100 --> 01:05:24,300 Scotch? 996 01:05:26,000 --> 01:05:29,000 Let's start with something easy. "Sit" is very popular. 997 01:05:29,400 --> 01:05:31,100 - You've heard it? - Sounds familiar. 998 01:05:31,400 --> 01:05:34,600 Okay. Front paws stiff. Butt on floor. 999 01:05:34,900 --> 01:05:36,600 That's all there is to it. 1000 01:05:37,000 --> 01:05:39,000 That's what they've been babbling about? 1001 01:05:39,400 --> 01:05:42,700 What can I say? It's a power trip. Uh-oh, busted. 1002 01:05:43,100 --> 01:05:46,200 Hey, kid's mom! Let's do the "sit" thing. 1003 01:05:46,600 --> 01:05:48,300 Hey, come over here. Ask me. 1004 01:05:50,000 --> 01:05:51,300 What's with you? 1005 01:05:52,700 --> 01:05:54,300 You're being affectionate? 1006 01:05:55,800 --> 01:05:57,000 Try guilty. 1007 01:05:57,300 --> 01:06:00,900 Well, you do have a sweet side, don't you? 1008 01:06:01,300 --> 01:06:02,600 Yeah. 1009 01:06:02,900 --> 01:06:04,500 Please don't send Rocks away. 1010 01:06:04,800 --> 01:06:08,900 Here! Over here! Look, look, see? I got this "sit" thing nailed. 1011 01:06:09,300 --> 01:06:12,400 He's decent, loyal. Everything I'm not. 1012 01:06:12,800 --> 01:06:13,800 What? 1013 01:06:14,400 --> 01:06:16,500 What, do you miss Rocks? 1014 01:06:17,700 --> 01:06:18,900 I thought you hated him. 1015 01:06:19,200 --> 01:06:21,300 Once you get past the fleas, he's charming. 1016 01:06:21,700 --> 01:06:24,100 That's the way it goes, isn't it? 1017 01:06:24,400 --> 01:06:26,500 First, you think they're not good enough. 1018 01:06:27,900 --> 01:06:31,900 Then they grow on you, and then you can't live without them. 1019 01:06:33,000 --> 01:06:34,600 Ain't it the truth. 1020 01:06:40,900 --> 01:06:44,400 Look, I'm just gonna walk into town and rent a car, okay? 1021 01:06:44,800 --> 01:06:46,300 I'll be home in a few hours. 1022 01:06:46,600 --> 01:06:49,600 Okay, whatever you want to do, but... 1023 01:06:50,000 --> 01:06:53,000 ...do you think you ought to walk 10 miles in that? 1024 01:07:12,600 --> 01:07:16,300 That's him! That's my husband! 1025 01:07:31,400 --> 01:07:35,900 Oh, yeah? Well, a Merry Christmas to you too, you rude bimbo! 1026 01:07:36,300 --> 01:07:37,900 There's the holiday spirit. 1027 01:07:38,300 --> 01:07:41,200 Samantha's office won't give me the number where they are. 1028 01:07:41,600 --> 01:07:43,900 They're treating me like I'm some wacko! 1029 01:07:45,900 --> 01:07:47,100 I know what I'll do. 1030 01:07:47,400 --> 01:07:51,900 I'll call Mr. Conti. I bet his secretary will tell me where they are. 1031 01:07:58,600 --> 01:08:00,900 Mr. Conti's office. 1032 01:08:02,200 --> 01:08:03,800 What cabin? 1033 01:08:05,300 --> 01:08:08,300 I'm sorry. There must be some mistake. 1034 01:08:08,700 --> 01:08:12,800 Mr. Conti is in the Bahamas with his family. 1035 01:08:19,500 --> 01:08:23,300 James better hurry. That bird's ready to come out. 1036 01:08:23,700 --> 01:08:27,200 He doesn't need to hurry, Mother. He's having an affair. 1037 01:08:28,100 --> 01:08:30,900 - What? - There is no meeting. 1038 01:08:31,200 --> 01:08:34,500 He and Ms. Fortune 500 are shacked up... 1039 01:08:34,800 --> 01:08:36,500 ...in some cabin upstate. 1040 01:08:36,900 --> 01:08:41,000 So while I am here, peeling thousands of little pearl onions... 1041 01:08:41,400 --> 01:08:45,400 ...because he loves them, he's having an affair on Christmas Eve. 1042 01:08:45,800 --> 01:08:49,700 Come on, now. You don't believe that. 1043 01:08:50,100 --> 01:08:52,300 Well, Mother, what would you believe? 1044 01:08:52,600 --> 01:08:55,700 Sweetie, you remember in the war... 1045 01:08:56,100 --> 01:08:59,700 ...when your father's ship was shelled and he was on that island? 1046 01:09:00,100 --> 01:09:04,100 For 17 days, then he was rescued. What does that have to do with this? 1047 01:09:04,500 --> 01:09:08,000 What you don't know was he was on that island alone... 1048 01:09:08,400 --> 01:09:11,100 ...with 13 USO girls. 1049 01:09:11,500 --> 01:09:14,600 God forbid, it wasrt Bob Hope. 1050 01:09:15,000 --> 01:09:17,200 Those girls had been around the block... 1051 01:09:17,500 --> 01:09:21,900 ...and remember, your father was a devastatingly handsome man. 1052 01:09:24,100 --> 01:09:25,600 That's beautiful. 1053 01:09:30,300 --> 01:09:33,500 Go on, Mother. So, what happened? 1054 01:09:33,900 --> 01:09:36,400 Nothing. At least he swore nothing happened. 1055 01:09:36,700 --> 01:09:38,600 Said they played gin rummy the whole time. 1056 01:09:39,000 --> 01:09:41,400 - And you believed him? - Of course not. 1057 01:09:41,700 --> 01:09:43,100 Well, Mother! 1058 01:09:43,300 --> 01:09:46,000 Now, wait. Later I met some of the girls. 1059 01:09:46,400 --> 01:09:50,700 It turned out that he hadrt played gin rummy the whole time. 1060 01:09:51,100 --> 01:09:53,000 All he did the whole time... 1061 01:09:53,300 --> 01:09:55,700 ...was talk about me. 1062 01:09:56,000 --> 01:09:58,800 And I believed them. 1063 01:10:01,500 --> 01:10:03,500 Now, in your heart... 1064 01:10:03,800 --> 01:10:08,200 ...do you really believe that James would cheat on you? 1065 01:10:20,700 --> 01:10:24,800 Well, James, since we're stuck here, we might as well relax. 1066 01:10:27,800 --> 01:10:28,800 Isn't it great? 1067 01:10:35,800 --> 01:10:37,000 This isn't good. 1068 01:10:37,400 --> 01:10:38,400 What? 1069 01:10:39,000 --> 01:10:41,700 What is this? This all seems like some kind of... 1070 01:10:42,000 --> 01:10:43,500 Some sort of what? 1071 01:10:50,800 --> 01:10:52,800 Oh, I'm so embarrassed. 1072 01:10:53,100 --> 01:10:56,100 You think I planned this as some sort of... Oh, God. 1073 01:10:56,500 --> 01:11:01,200 God, I'm wrong! Oh, man! To even think you'd go for a guy like me! 1074 01:11:01,600 --> 01:11:02,600 Sit down. 1075 01:11:02,900 --> 01:11:06,700 I am so stupid! You probably have someone like... 1076 01:11:07,100 --> 01:11:10,200 ...Prince Charles in a condo, waiting for you somewhere. 1077 01:11:10,500 --> 01:11:14,900 No. And no, I didn't have any plans for tonight. 1078 01:11:15,300 --> 01:11:18,900 You're kidding. You were actually going to be alone for Christmas? 1079 01:11:19,600 --> 01:11:21,900 - I'm used to it. - I can't believe it. 1080 01:11:22,300 --> 01:11:24,900 When I was little, I was usually at boarding school. 1081 01:11:25,500 --> 01:11:26,700 Where were your folks? 1082 01:11:27,100 --> 01:11:30,700 - Oh, I don't know. Skiing. - Instead of being with their kid? 1083 01:11:31,600 --> 01:11:35,900 Their parents did it to them, they did it to me. It was fine. 1084 01:11:36,300 --> 01:11:40,100 I also had a lot of advantages. I went to the best schools. 1085 01:11:40,600 --> 01:11:43,200 I could speak 4 languages by the time I was 15. 1086 01:11:44,400 --> 01:11:46,900 When I was 15, I was flunking English. 1087 01:11:47,700 --> 01:11:49,700 I suppose I did wonder about... 1088 01:11:50,000 --> 01:11:53,700 Well, you know, regular high school. Boys. 1089 01:11:54,800 --> 01:11:57,900 - Dances. That kind of thing. - You didn't go to dances? 1090 01:11:58,300 --> 01:12:01,600 No. If I'm really honest, I actually don't know how. 1091 01:12:02,000 --> 01:12:03,800 Come on. Everybody can dance. 1092 01:12:04,100 --> 01:12:05,900 - Everybody cannot dance! - They can. 1093 01:12:06,300 --> 01:12:08,500 - No, they cannot! - It's easy. 1094 01:12:13,500 --> 01:12:14,700 What's wrong? 1095 01:12:15,100 --> 01:12:16,100 Nothing. 1096 01:12:16,300 --> 01:12:17,800 He's not coming, is he? 1097 01:12:18,400 --> 01:12:21,300 Oh, honey, he's trying real hard to get back tonight. 1098 01:12:21,900 --> 01:12:23,900 I knew it. He's not coming back. 1099 01:12:24,200 --> 01:12:28,300 Let's go and open some of the gifts that Grandma and Grandpa brought. 1100 01:12:28,700 --> 01:12:30,400 I'm sure Santa wouldn't mind. 1101 01:12:30,700 --> 01:12:32,600 - There is no Santa! - What? 1102 01:12:33,300 --> 01:12:34,900 There is no Santa. 1103 01:12:35,200 --> 01:12:36,400 Now, you stop that! 1104 01:12:36,700 --> 01:12:39,800 If there was, wouldn't he let Daddy be with us? 1105 01:12:40,500 --> 01:12:44,000 - What's wrong? Where's Daddy? - Oh, sweetie! 1106 01:12:44,400 --> 01:12:46,300 I want my daddy. 1107 01:12:46,700 --> 01:12:48,000 Christmas stinks. 1108 01:12:48,300 --> 01:12:51,200 Everybody just hold it! I think I have an idea. 1109 01:12:51,700 --> 01:12:55,700 Let's open some presents. Look what's in this. Open this one. 1110 01:12:56,100 --> 01:12:58,000 - I don't want one. - I'll have it. 1111 01:12:58,300 --> 01:13:00,100 Ms. D'Bonne's office, please. 1112 01:13:01,800 --> 01:13:05,400 Hello. I am calling from Olympic Florist... 1113 01:13:05,800 --> 01:13:09,000 ...and I have 350 red long-stemmed roses... 1114 01:13:09,400 --> 01:13:11,300 ...to deliver to Ms. D'Bonne. 1115 01:13:11,900 --> 01:13:13,700 I need the address, please. 1116 01:13:14,000 --> 01:13:15,800 They're coming from a Mr... 1117 01:13:16,100 --> 01:13:19,300 ...James Ubriacco, Ubri... 1118 01:13:19,700 --> 01:13:22,800 Yeah, doll, that's it. That's it. 1119 01:13:26,400 --> 01:13:29,700 Good. Thanks, doll. And a Merry Christmas to you too. 1120 01:13:30,000 --> 01:13:31,300 Sucker. 1121 01:13:31,900 --> 01:13:34,500 Kids, listen to Mommy. Go in your rooms... 1122 01:13:34,800 --> 01:13:37,400 ...and put on warm clothes. We're taking a trip. 1123 01:13:37,800 --> 01:13:40,100 Daddy, will you put the presents in the car? 1124 01:13:40,500 --> 01:13:45,000 Ma, will you put the onions in some Tupperware? Come on, let's move it! 1125 01:13:45,500 --> 01:13:49,900 Go! Daddy won't come to Christmas, Christmas will come to Daddy. 1126 01:14:03,700 --> 01:14:06,000 Rocks, I don't feel so good. 1127 01:14:06,300 --> 01:14:09,200 It's fun. It's chasing without the stupid running. 1128 01:14:09,500 --> 01:14:11,800 I'm going to lose my Kibbles 'n Bits. 1129 01:14:19,900 --> 01:14:21,100 What's this? 1130 01:14:21,600 --> 01:14:24,800 Touch a present and you'll be hunting gophers for dinner. 1131 01:14:39,100 --> 01:14:40,400 I smell fruitcake! 1132 01:14:40,700 --> 01:14:43,100 - That's gotta be fruitcake. - Rocks, I said no! 1133 01:14:43,900 --> 01:14:45,700 Mom. Mom, look out! 1134 01:14:53,300 --> 01:14:55,100 Don't worry. Mommy's just playing. 1135 01:14:57,900 --> 01:14:59,400 Hang on! 1136 01:15:03,300 --> 01:15:04,300 Stop this thing! 1137 01:15:16,100 --> 01:15:18,300 Are you okay? Are you okay, honey? 1138 01:15:18,800 --> 01:15:19,900 Is everybody okay? 1139 01:15:20,200 --> 01:15:23,500 All right, good. Now, wasrt that fun? 1140 01:15:23,900 --> 01:15:25,100 No. 1141 01:15:25,400 --> 01:15:26,700 No. All right. 1142 01:15:27,100 --> 01:15:30,800 Okay. Well, tell you what we're gonna do. 1143 01:15:31,500 --> 01:15:34,200 Mommy's gonna figure out how to get us out of here. 1144 01:15:35,300 --> 01:15:37,000 - I got an idea. - What? 1145 01:15:37,400 --> 01:15:39,200 You push and I drive. 1146 01:15:39,600 --> 01:15:42,600 Really? Good. You have your driver's license with you? 1147 01:15:43,500 --> 01:15:44,300 No. 1148 01:15:44,600 --> 01:15:47,500 Okay, good try. I know. I have an idea. 1149 01:15:47,800 --> 01:15:52,100 Look, there's lots of pine cones here. I'm gonna gather some up for us. 1150 01:15:52,500 --> 01:15:55,100 - And while I do that... - I don't like pine cones. 1151 01:15:55,400 --> 01:15:57,000 Oh, you don't? 1152 01:15:57,600 --> 01:16:00,200 Well, okay, then I will get you a stick. 1153 01:16:00,600 --> 01:16:03,600 And then you guys sing and guard the presents, okay? 1154 01:16:04,000 --> 01:16:07,300 So sing a nice loud Christmas song so Mommy can hear you. 1155 01:16:22,400 --> 01:16:24,500 Now what am I gonna do? 1156 01:16:32,700 --> 01:16:35,300 Will you stop messing me up! 1157 01:16:55,600 --> 01:16:57,300 Meals on wheels. 1158 01:16:57,700 --> 01:16:59,800 Mommy found another doggie. 1159 01:17:00,200 --> 01:17:01,200 That's no dog. 1160 01:17:01,500 --> 01:17:03,900 Hey, mama, on your way to Grandma's house? 1161 01:17:05,400 --> 01:17:07,100 Hey, you! Beat it! 1162 01:17:10,300 --> 01:17:12,800 Ooh, I love the smell of fear. 1163 01:17:13,100 --> 01:17:14,800 Nice wolf. 1164 01:17:16,100 --> 01:17:17,700 I won't hurt you. 1165 01:17:20,300 --> 01:17:21,500 Nice wolf. 1166 01:17:23,600 --> 01:17:25,100 I like wolves. 1167 01:17:29,600 --> 01:17:31,600 Let me out of here! Let me out! 1168 01:17:31,900 --> 01:17:32,700 Nice wolf. 1169 01:17:34,600 --> 01:17:35,900 Come on, come on. 1170 01:17:41,000 --> 01:17:45,100 Just leave the lady alone, unless you want to get spayed the hard way. 1171 01:17:45,900 --> 01:17:49,400 He talks the talk, but can he walk the walk? 1172 01:17:51,600 --> 01:17:53,700 Back off, this ain't your business. 1173 01:17:54,100 --> 01:17:56,200 The hell it ain't. That's my family. 1174 01:17:56,600 --> 01:18:00,100 Remember when Mommy told you the story about Peter and the wolf? 1175 01:18:00,600 --> 01:18:05,300 Well, there's the wolf. Where is that crazy Peter when you need him? 1176 01:18:18,900 --> 01:18:20,400 Rocks! 1177 01:18:47,600 --> 01:18:49,600 Rocks! Oh, no! No! 1178 01:18:54,500 --> 01:18:55,700 Rip his throat out! 1179 01:18:58,100 --> 01:19:00,300 Ow! My tail! 1180 01:19:00,800 --> 01:19:03,700 Never mess with a street dog, you wuss. 1181 01:19:15,000 --> 01:19:18,100 Rocks, you're hurt! Look at your paws and your ears. 1182 01:19:18,400 --> 01:19:21,900 Your little ears. And your neck. What did that animal do to you? 1183 01:19:22,300 --> 01:19:24,100 - It's nothing. - Oh, sweetheart. 1184 01:19:24,400 --> 01:19:26,600 Sweetheart? Oh, baby! 1185 01:19:30,200 --> 01:19:32,400 Hey, I smell kid's dad. Up this way. 1186 01:19:32,700 --> 01:19:33,800 The master? 1187 01:19:34,100 --> 01:19:36,400 But you're hurt. Come back to the car. 1188 01:19:36,700 --> 01:19:39,300 - We gotta get them help. - Then I'm going too. 1189 01:19:39,700 --> 01:19:42,800 - No, you're a house dog. - I've still got my animal instincts. 1190 01:19:43,200 --> 01:19:45,400 All right. Go back that way and get help. 1191 01:19:45,800 --> 01:19:48,200 All right. Which way? 1192 01:19:48,500 --> 01:19:51,400 - You gotta sniff for people. - Sniff? 1193 01:19:51,800 --> 01:19:54,100 - Stick your nose in the air and suck. - What? 1194 01:19:54,400 --> 01:19:57,600 Mommy's gotta go get the dogs before they run away. 1195 01:19:58,300 --> 01:20:01,500 - Take care of yourself. - Don't worry about me. 1196 01:20:02,100 --> 01:20:03,700 Sniff. No, that's snort. 1197 01:20:05,800 --> 01:20:07,600 Rocks! Here, boy! 1198 01:20:08,000 --> 01:20:09,200 Come on, guys! 1199 01:20:09,500 --> 01:20:12,000 - Where'd they go? - Daphne! Here, girl! 1200 01:20:12,300 --> 01:20:14,200 Maybe they went to the bathroom. 1201 01:20:14,500 --> 01:20:17,800 They should have gone to the bathroom before we left, right? 1202 01:20:18,200 --> 01:20:19,600 That's right. 1203 01:20:20,100 --> 01:20:21,400 Rocks, come back! 1204 01:20:21,800 --> 01:20:24,300 - Daphne! - Let's get back in the car. 1205 01:20:24,700 --> 01:20:26,500 - He'll come back. - Come back, girl. 1206 01:20:26,800 --> 01:20:29,800 I'll let you open a present. Whichever one you want. 1207 01:20:30,100 --> 01:20:31,600 But Rocks is hurt! 1208 01:20:32,000 --> 01:20:34,600 Honey, he'll be fine. 1209 01:20:35,100 --> 01:20:36,900 Six, seven... 1210 01:20:37,300 --> 01:20:39,000 ...eight and slow. 1211 01:20:39,300 --> 01:20:41,100 Quick, quick, slow. 1212 01:20:41,400 --> 01:20:43,200 Quick, quick, slow. 1213 01:20:46,800 --> 01:20:49,600 Good. Quick, quick, slow. Good. 1214 01:20:51,800 --> 01:20:54,100 Excellent. Good. 1215 01:21:07,900 --> 01:21:10,600 - See, you can dance. - But how do we do it like this? 1216 01:21:11,000 --> 01:21:13,700 Well, you just do it the same way. 1217 01:21:14,300 --> 01:21:15,100 Slow. 1218 01:21:15,400 --> 01:21:17,400 Quick, quick, slow. 1219 01:21:17,800 --> 01:21:19,700 Quick, quick, slow. 1220 01:21:22,100 --> 01:21:25,800 I think I'm sniffing. I'm inaling and I'm getting nothing. 1221 01:21:26,200 --> 01:21:29,400 I'm just an inbred washout. I can't even smell... People! 1222 01:21:32,500 --> 01:21:33,300 I did it! 1223 01:21:33,600 --> 01:21:37,500 I can sniff! I am not a poodle, I am a wild, marauding beast! 1224 01:21:39,300 --> 01:21:41,300 Move it! My masters need help. 1225 01:22:02,700 --> 01:22:05,400 The phone is out, huh? You are unbelievable. 1226 01:22:05,700 --> 01:22:07,800 How dare you treat me like that? 1227 01:22:08,100 --> 01:22:10,300 Easy. You're a lousy human being. 1228 01:22:13,100 --> 01:22:17,700 Listen to me, James. You are a very impressive man. 1229 01:22:18,100 --> 01:22:20,900 Over the past few months, I have watched you bloom. 1230 01:22:21,200 --> 01:22:23,200 You deserve better than some... 1231 01:22:23,600 --> 01:22:26,500 ...frumpy housewife who doesn't have the resourcefulness... 1232 01:22:26,900 --> 01:22:28,800 ...to find herself a decent job. 1233 01:22:31,400 --> 01:22:34,300 She's smart enough to find me here. That's our dog! 1234 01:22:38,700 --> 01:22:42,800 - Hey, Rocks. All right. - Hey, big guy. Hey, pal, give me paw. 1235 01:22:43,300 --> 01:22:46,200 - What happened? - Not so rough. 1236 01:22:46,500 --> 01:22:48,800 Whoa! Is she in heat, or what? 1237 01:22:52,800 --> 01:22:56,200 If you walk out that door, I will personally guarantee... 1238 01:22:56,600 --> 01:22:58,000 ...that you never fly... 1239 01:22:58,300 --> 01:23:01,900 ...for a reputable company for the rest of your pathetic... 1240 01:23:04,200 --> 01:23:07,300 How do you like that? That'll cool you off. 1241 01:23:09,200 --> 01:23:10,300 Rocks, let's go. 1242 01:23:10,600 --> 01:23:11,900 Good shot, huh? 1243 01:23:13,900 --> 01:23:15,000 Bye. 1244 01:23:21,200 --> 01:23:22,800 It's a hat. 1245 01:23:23,100 --> 01:23:25,900 It's a hat. Let's put it on. 1246 01:23:27,100 --> 01:23:28,800 I think it goes a different way. 1247 01:23:29,300 --> 01:23:32,600 Let's see. You look so pretty! 1248 01:23:34,100 --> 01:23:38,400 Look at that face! Mikey, you want to open another one? 1249 01:23:39,500 --> 01:23:41,100 It's probably more clothes. 1250 01:23:41,500 --> 01:23:43,700 You're lucky we gave you some boring things. 1251 01:23:44,100 --> 01:23:47,200 Otherwise, you'd be freezing your tushy off right now. 1252 01:23:52,700 --> 01:23:54,400 Is that Daphne? 1253 01:23:57,400 --> 01:24:00,800 My God! My dog is a genius! 1254 01:24:01,200 --> 01:24:02,900 Way to go, Daphne! 1255 01:24:03,200 --> 01:24:06,200 No need for applause. Just throw treats. 1256 01:24:06,900 --> 01:24:08,700 Come on, we're almost there. 1257 01:24:10,100 --> 01:24:13,200 Okay, Rocks, where are they? Are we getting close? 1258 01:24:13,800 --> 01:24:16,000 Are we? Right. 1259 01:24:16,300 --> 01:24:18,800 What are you gonna say? "They're just up the road... 1260 01:24:19,100 --> 01:24:21,800 ...about a quarter of a mile, just past the 7-11." 1261 01:24:23,300 --> 01:24:24,300 This way. 1262 01:24:24,600 --> 01:24:29,000 Are you gonna trust that dinky bulb on your face or my nose? Come on! 1263 01:24:29,400 --> 01:24:31,700 All right. I hope you're right. 1264 01:24:37,900 --> 01:24:40,800 Mollie! Mollie! 1265 01:24:42,200 --> 01:24:44,800 Oh, God. Mollie! 1266 01:24:46,500 --> 01:24:48,200 They're gone? I can't believe it. 1267 01:24:48,500 --> 01:24:51,400 Look on the floor. They were here. I left them here. 1268 01:25:05,100 --> 01:25:06,300 Come on in. 1269 01:25:09,400 --> 01:25:12,100 There are some cots in the back you could use. 1270 01:25:12,400 --> 01:25:16,400 No, thank you. We can't sleep here. We have to find my husband tonight. 1271 01:25:16,800 --> 01:25:18,500 No one's going anywhere tonight. 1272 01:25:19,000 --> 01:25:21,900 You hunker down here. We'll go out in the morning. 1273 01:25:22,300 --> 01:25:24,900 We have to go. This is Christmas Eve. We've gotta... 1274 01:25:25,200 --> 01:25:26,400 I'm sorry. 1275 01:25:27,700 --> 01:25:30,400 If it's any consolation, I have cookies and eggnog. 1276 01:25:30,700 --> 01:25:32,500 You can help yourselves. 1277 01:25:33,900 --> 01:25:35,100 Thank you. 1278 01:25:50,600 --> 01:25:52,600 I'm sorry, you guys. 1279 01:25:53,000 --> 01:25:56,200 I didn't mean to get us stuck out in the middle of nowhere... 1280 01:25:56,600 --> 01:25:58,600 ...without our daddy. Sorry. 1281 01:25:59,000 --> 01:26:01,700 How's Santa gonna find us here? 1282 01:26:04,200 --> 01:26:07,000 Don't worry, he has special radar. 1283 01:26:15,400 --> 01:26:18,600 - Merry Christmas, Mom. - Merry Christmas, Mom. 1284 01:26:19,400 --> 01:26:21,000 Merry Christmas. 1285 01:26:33,600 --> 01:26:36,000 - He was big and he jumped me. - We'll find him. 1286 01:26:36,800 --> 01:26:39,900 Wait, wait. I think I'm picking up on something here. 1287 01:26:41,100 --> 01:26:42,900 Fresh meat, fresh meat, fresh meat. 1288 01:26:50,500 --> 01:26:52,300 Yeah, that's the guy. 1289 01:26:52,800 --> 01:26:53,800 Damn. 1290 01:26:54,100 --> 01:26:55,400 - He bit me. - He ain't so big. 1291 01:26:55,700 --> 01:26:56,700 He had friends. 1292 01:26:57,000 --> 01:26:58,800 The fur's gonna fly. 1293 01:26:59,100 --> 01:27:01,000 Run! I'll take care of these guys. 1294 01:27:01,600 --> 01:27:03,400 You take care of nobody, chump. 1295 01:27:05,400 --> 01:27:06,400 It's showtime. 1296 01:27:06,700 --> 01:27:08,200 - Your funeral. - Your mama. 1297 01:27:09,300 --> 01:27:10,300 Kill! 1298 01:27:28,000 --> 01:27:30,100 Honey, let's go to bed now. 1299 01:27:30,500 --> 01:27:33,500 - I'm not sleepy. - I know. 1300 01:27:33,900 --> 01:27:35,300 But you know what? 1301 01:27:35,600 --> 01:27:39,500 The sooner we go to sleep, the sooner Christmas will come. 1302 01:27:58,800 --> 01:28:00,300 Santa? 1303 01:28:16,900 --> 01:28:18,000 Mom. 1304 01:28:18,700 --> 01:28:20,900 Come over here. Look. 1305 01:28:21,300 --> 01:28:23,200 I think it's Santa. 1306 01:28:34,300 --> 01:28:35,400 Hello? 1307 01:28:40,200 --> 01:28:41,200 Man. 1308 01:28:41,600 --> 01:28:43,700 Merry Christmas, honey. 1309 01:28:53,500 --> 01:28:55,100 Daddy! 1310 01:28:55,500 --> 01:28:57,500 - Daddy! - Hi, Julie. 1311 01:29:05,900 --> 01:29:07,400 Where's Rocks? 1312 01:29:07,700 --> 01:29:11,300 You wouldn't believe it. We ran into these wolves, right? 1313 01:29:11,700 --> 01:29:13,600 We actually got attacked by wolves. 1314 01:29:13,900 --> 01:29:16,900 - Oh, no. - And Rocks came to my defence. 1315 01:29:17,300 --> 01:29:20,900 And one of the wolves chomped on my beeper. Look at it. 1316 01:29:21,500 --> 01:29:25,500 And they all totally spazzed out. Bunch of wimps. 1317 01:29:27,800 --> 01:29:30,100 Hey, kid, it's great to see you. 1318 01:29:31,500 --> 01:29:33,800 Oh, Rocks! How did you find us? 1319 01:29:34,100 --> 01:29:36,200 I just followed your scent. 1320 01:29:37,000 --> 01:29:39,700 And you smell beautiful, Daphne. Oh, honey pie! 1321 01:29:40,000 --> 01:29:42,900 - Pumpkin butt. - Not in front of the kids. 1322 01:29:43,400 --> 01:29:47,100 And, James, before the wolves... 1323 01:29:47,800 --> 01:29:48,900 ...what were you doing? 1324 01:29:50,100 --> 01:29:51,600 Getting fired. 1325 01:29:54,400 --> 01:29:55,800 Thank God! 1326 01:29:58,000 --> 01:29:59,800 Mom, can Rocks stay with us now? 1327 01:30:01,100 --> 01:30:03,300 Honey, have a heart. 1328 01:30:03,600 --> 01:30:06,000 If not for Rocks, we wouldn't be here together. 1329 01:30:06,500 --> 01:30:09,400 - I mean, I might even be dead. - I know! That's why... 1330 01:30:09,800 --> 01:30:12,400 So, what if he's not the smartest dog in the world? 1331 01:30:12,800 --> 01:30:14,800 Who cares if he can sit down? 1332 01:30:15,100 --> 01:30:16,100 I can sit down. 1333 01:30:16,300 --> 01:30:19,600 - Or if he can beg. - Beg? Beg's easy. Look. 1334 01:30:19,900 --> 01:30:23,300 Who needs a beggar in the family? Or lie down? 1335 01:30:23,700 --> 01:30:26,500 I mean, the point is, he is still a great dog. 1336 01:30:27,200 --> 01:30:28,400 He stays. 1337 01:30:28,700 --> 01:30:29,600 - What? - He stays. 1338 01:30:29,900 --> 01:30:31,100 Really? 1339 01:30:31,400 --> 01:30:33,100 Hey, Mike, did you hear that? 1340 01:30:34,700 --> 01:30:36,100 I'm gonna stay! 1341 01:30:36,400 --> 01:30:37,700 Hey, guys? 1342 01:30:38,900 --> 01:30:41,000 I'm picking up something weird over here. 1343 01:30:49,300 --> 01:30:51,900 Hey, what is that? Come here. 1344 01:30:53,200 --> 01:30:55,300 Is that sleigh bells? 1345 01:30:57,300 --> 01:31:00,700 Ho, ho, ho! Merry Christmas! 1346 01:31:02,900 --> 01:31:05,100 - I told you he was real. - I knew that. 1347 01:31:05,500 --> 01:31:06,900 - You did not. - I always knew. 1348 01:31:07,200 --> 01:31:08,800 - You did not. - Did too. 1349 01:31:09,400 --> 01:31:12,000 - She kissed you! - I hate my sister. 1350 01:31:12,400 --> 01:31:14,400 - Get the cootie spray! - Let's go to bed. 1351 01:31:14,800 --> 01:31:17,700 - I don't want to go to bed. - This is so exciting! 1352 01:31:18,100 --> 01:31:22,200 Santa's right outside. He's right above our head. Can't you hear it? 1353 01:31:22,300 --> 01:31:26,800 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0100232