All language subtitles for La Femme de Mon Pote-Bertrand Blier-1983

My Best Friend's Girl

Shit, what the hell is it?

You close the store?

Come in.

Did I wake you?
- You sure did.

I just got to bed.

What's wrong?

Something serious?

Sit down.

What's the matter? You
look zonked.

Are you sick?

Bank giving you static again?

You look like you've been
run over by an avalanche.

Look me in the eye.

You won't believe it.

Is it an incident or a disaster?

Pascal. Don't tell me you're
in love again.

You've got it.
- I can't take it anymore.

I warned you: That's out.

Calm down, Mickey. Please.

Who is it this time?
- A girl.

Do I know her?
- No.

You're hopeless.

You see a girl and boom:
You're in love!

We agreed you'd lay off for
a while,

for at least six months.

True.
- My answer is : No!

It's absolutely "No!" You
hear me?

Or count me out. I refuse to
get involved.

Just come and take a look.

Where is she?

In my bed.
- Already?

You moron.

I told you not to give into
provocation!

There never was.
- There always is.

Not this time.

It was just natural.
- Natural, my ass! As always,

you'll eat your heart out.

Is that her car? What a heap.

Well...

What do you think?
- All I can see is her ass.

This is Mickey.

He's very important to me.

What are you doing in this bed?

I got picked up.

Do you often get picked up?
- Sure,

if I like the guy.

I bet you're an expert on
French bedding.

Your buddy's a sweet guy.
- Not his buddy, his friend.

In fact, I'm his best friend.

I advise him on every move.

When I talk, he listens.

For ten years, no one has
ever come between us.

Not even a girl?

No. Girls come and they go.

We stick together and watch
them leave.

What if one of them felt like
staying?

Like who?

Like a girl who's tired of
lugging her suitcase around.

Did you hear that?

She spoke of suitcases.

Aren't you listening?
- Not really.

He's looking at me.

He can look and listen.

Is that so hard?

It depends on how hard he's
concentrating.

What do you think?
- She's a smart ass.

See her eyes?

They knock me out.

Is anyone likely to miss you?

No nobody.
- Hell.

Listen, this is serious. I
met this girl last night.

I don't know where she's from

or what she has in mind. But
I know she's in my bed

and she's so sweet I couldn't
sleep.

I want her to stay here.

I want her to stay as long as
possible.

Whatever you say, it's your
home.

Are you for or against?
- Neither. We Swiss are neutral.

You going to mope for two
weeks?

If necessary.

I'm no trouble.

I've never met a girl who
wasn't.

Leave me alone, I'm going home.

How can you after seeing her?

What did I see? A chick in a
bed.

She's not my chick, it's not
my bed, so who cares!

She's not a chick, she's a
vulernable woman in need of

warmth and kindness.

She's found both!

I must work, stay with her.

What for?
- To keep her from taking off.

Pascal, you're beginning to
piss me off.

I know, but will you do it?

I'll do my best.

Old reliable!
- Let go of me.

I've got an offer.

My house.
- What for?

To live in.

With you?
- Yes.

I don't know your name.

Pascal Sauinier.

I own the resort ski shop.

I'm Vivian,

Vivian Arthaud.

All I own is my car.

Make yourself at home. We'll
spoil you.

I've got to go to work now.
See you soon.

My buddy will take care of
you.

He may be gruff, but he's a
real gem.

You can trust him as you
would me.

Take care of her.

From now on, she's my most
precious possession.

Is he always this wonderful?

You think he's wonderful?

For a ski bum, he's not bad.

He offered you his home.
- Yes.

How do you feel about it?

A little scared.
- Naturally.

Has he had many women before me?

Loads of them.

As many as he wants, but he
can't keep them.

Why not?
- He's just too nice.

I bet you're even nicer.

Yes, but don't let
my looks fool you.

You want coffee?
- Sure.

With toast?
- Yes.

With butter?
- Yes.

And cranberry jam?
- Yes.

This is a great set up.

Did you serve his other girls
breakfast in bed?

Some of them.

You two are really organized.

Sure. One scores and the other
cleans up.

How did it go?
- Great, she's singing in the tub.

Breakfast in bed?
- Naturally.

She enjoy it?
- She's in heaven.

You think she's in love yet?
- I'd say so.

You mean it?
- She thinks your wonderful.

She does. That's fantastic.
- I guess so.

Their romance is already
getting on my nerves.

Enjoy it.

Why is he so glum?

Nevermind, he'll go over it.

Before he was charming.

He's what is known as a manic
depressive.

Enjoy it.

Why are you sore?
- I'm not sore.

You haven't said a word.
- I've got nothing to say.

Lay off him.

Do you resent me?
- Why should I?

What do you think of our
romance?

You two?
- Yes, our love affair.

I haven't decided yet.

Anyway, is it a love affair?

I ask you, you know Pascal
well.

Do you think we'll stay
together?

Careful how you answer.

Get off my back. I've got no
opinion.

If you're waiting for my
blessing,

don't hold your breath. It's
too soon.

Your affair is okay, but I'm
skeptical.

Why not look on the bright
side of life?

Let life look at me and give
me reasons to be optimistic.

Anyway, you're crazy to sit
there in the hot sun,

so as to give her an eyeful
of your manly chest.

You look like a tourist.
Besides, it's dangerous.

Put a hat on at least.
- I'm okay.

He's ok now, but how he gripes
when he isn't...

You're a pain in the ass.

Where's he going?

To put on a hat. He knows I'm
right.

He's headache-prone.

What the hell is with them?

Such familiarity. Just because
they're on vacation!

Mind your skis and let us
eat in peace.

Does he really have headaches?
- Yes.

Often?
- I don't keep count, but often.

What about you?
- Me, I'm a physical wreck.

You should be healthy up there.
- Well, I'm not.

Do you get bored?
- Not really.

What does Pascal do?
- He works all day.

The store? And you?
- Nothing.

Do you work?
- Only at night.

That's great. You can help me
unpack.

What are you two talking about?

It's a secret.

Got a washer?
- Of course.

Can you work it?
- Naturally.

You know how to act friendly
as well?

It brings me bad luck.

Where's your machine?
- Out there.

How about you?
- What?

Is there a woman in your life?
- No.

Nobody?
- Nobody.

How come?

Does it bother you?

Just seems strange.

Why? Am I so irresistible?

I think you're bizarre.

How so?

You're just bizarre.

Right now, you look bizarre.

You're eyes are telling me
something, but I don't know what.

Me neither.

There's sympathy

and suspicion.

It's hard to say in what ratio.

Let's say 25 percent sympathy
and 75 percent suspicion.

You're scared I'll steal your
buddy?

Well, it's just the opposite.

You'll keep your buddy

and you'll gain a friend.

Can men and women be just
friends?

It'd be nice for once.

Yes, it would.

Shall we try?

Okay.

Where do we start?

Let's put on some music.

What for?
- For atmosphere.

Good idea.

What does Pascal listen to?

Nothing.
- What do you mean?

No records?
- No.

Hasn't he got a stereo?

No.

Where are his books?

Hasn't he got any?
- No.

What does he do in the
evenings?

He goes to bed or watches
television.

I won't last long in this place.

What kind of music would you
like?

Anything.

Something mellow.

It's not his fault, he's a
former athlete.

He's no intellectual.

All he knows about is skiing.

And you? What do you know?
- Not much either.

Does this turn you on?

Not especially.

Don't you like dancing?

How about this?

I watch beautiful girls dance
every night.

Really?

I work in a nightclub. I'm
a disc jockey.

Why are you prancing around?

Want me to stop?

Would you? I'm getting dizzy.

Something troubling you?
- Not especially.

Want to go?
- No. Why?

You look funny.
- How so?

You're up to something.

I am?

Are you falling in love with
me?

You're insane.

Why?

It's no crime.
- Maybe not a crime,

but it would be a real fuck-up.

I love it here.

Do you have many friends?
- No.

Neither do I, he's the only one

and I don't want to lose him,
even if his woman's a tease.

I'm not his woman.

To me, you are. You live with
him, you're his.

Not much is sacred in life,
but that is.

Keep talking, Mickey.

It boosts my morale to hear
things like that.

You're really a decent guy.

What's so decent about me?

I'm capable of behaving like
like a bastard.

No, not you.

Don't be so sure.

I can tell you're a nice guy.

It's obvious.

You think so?

What if I did?
- Did what?

Fall in love with you.

You'd better not.

You know of any cures for that
sort of thing?

Fight fire with fire.

That's what vaccinations are
for.

What do you mean?

Let's make love.

When?
- Right away, before it's too late.

Love is a sickness. You've
got to treat it early.

Otherwise, you've had it.

Let me get this straight. You,

my best friend's girl

are proposing that I sleep
with you in his home.

Why not?

Just because he's your buddy
doesn't mean he has to know.

What kind of a tramp are you?

What's with you two?

Just talking.

In the dark?

What time is it?
- 8 p.m.

I better get dinner on.

We didn't notice the time.

Talking non-stop?
- Yes.

About what?
- Everything and nothing.

Just shooting the bull.

What sort of bull?
- Life, memories, things like that.

You look peculiar.

Who?

Him or me?

Both of you.

Mickey, he says we look pecuilar.

In what way?

You're hiding something from
me.

Are we hiding something?

Not that I know of.

Hell, I feel like I'm in the
wrong house.

Is this better?
- I mean it,

I felt as if I was intruding.

That's because it was dark.

Not only that,
there was something else.

You were acting guilty.

Guilty of what?
- That's what I'd like to know.

Go on, Mickey, tell him...
he guessed.

Guessed what?

Well something unfortunate
happened.

I insulted Vivian.

In what way?

I tried to sleep with her.

What happened?

She turned me down. And how!

He said you two shared
everything. Is that true?

I get it.

You're putting me on.

I was scared stiff! You bums!

You want a scotch?
- Sure.

Shall I get your slippers?

You two are a real pair of
clowns.

Are you sure she's in love
with him?

Shut up.

No need to panic.

So far, it's not dramatic.

The trouble is I've got a
yearn for her,

but that's no tragedy.

It would be worse if I loved
her.

That would be serious.

There are two solutions:

Either I keep it to myself and
don't let on

or I make my move.

But if I do that means I'm a
bastard.

Let's assume I'm a bastard.

What does it feel like?

I could get used to it. Life
is full of cool bastards.

Maybe they're so cool because
they're bastards.

What's the difference between
a bastard and a good guy?

The good guy hasn't got the
balls to be a bastard.

Take me,
I'm a born coward.

I'm condemned to be a good
guy all my life.

Wait a minute,

I just hit on something.

It means that I'm honest,
because I'm chicken

and it takes guts to be a
bastard.

That changes the whole picture.

You're sweet to come by.

I was getting a little bored.

I didn't plan to see you.

I was passing by and thought
I'd stop in to say hello and

see how you were doing.

Do you need anything?
- No, I'm fine.

How about you?
- I'm alright.

I'd like to ask you a question,

but it's not an easy question.

It's the kind you ask and then
regret having asked.

Then don't ask it.

The problem is I really want
to ask it.

That's no problem. You can
say anything to me.

You mean it?

Of course.

What's your question?

Remember when you felt like
hearing some music?

And I went to go some tapes?
Then you started to dance

and you suggested something?

What did I suggest?

That we make love.

Were you kidding?

Do you feel like it now?

Not especially, but since you
suggested it, I thought it over:

Provided it's strictly on a
friendly basis,

it might be an interesting
experience.

Come on.

Where to?
- To the bedroom.

Do you prefer the sun deck?

Not really.

You know, there's no hurry.
We could think it over.

Think what over?

Come on, we'll think later.

You see? It was no big deal.

Did you enjoy it?

You don't look like it.

My conscience is bugging me.

I like you in the role of a
bastard.

Stop pawing me.

You loved it before.
- That was then, this is now.

Time marches on.

Are you always so nasty after
making love?

Do you expect me to bill and
coo?

You said you loved me.
- I say that to everybody, to

all the girls, I can't help pushing
when I screw, it's all bull.

I don't believe you.
- Listen, Vivian.

We had ourselves a nice lay.
Period.

You've got lots going for you,

but you're not the first girl
I've laid.

I've scored with prettier ones
than you.

Not to often, but even so...

I've got a terrific headache.

A headache isn't serious.

His happens to be very bad.

To much sun?
- No we ate in the bedroom.

What bedroom?
- Ours.

What did you eat?
- Creamed coad.

No wonder.

You nasueious?
- A little.

Your neck hurt?
- A little.

And your eyes?
- Not to bad.

That must be it.

Off to bed, don't play the hero!

When he's like this, he stays
in bed all day.

He can't even stand the sound
of skis.

Shall I give you a sedative?

You got one?
- Of course.

Do you think it will help?

Don't you take them?

Try them out.
- I'm against them.

- Why?
- Thery're habit forming.

Just once isn't habit forming.

You take it once, you're
trapped for life.

Is it better to suffer?

He could relax and sleep.

My darling, I'm sorry, I've
ruined our evening.

There'll be other evenings.

It's funny: My head aches so

I can hardly open my eyes, yet
I want to make love.

You do?

I'll see what I can do.

Really?
- Loosen up,

close your eyes. Relax.

Oh my darling,

you're an angel.

He's asleep.

What are you doing on my lap?

Making myself available,

just in case

you feel like kissing me.

Cold?
- Yes.

That will warm you up. Let me
tell you something.

Before you came to the resort,

there were two friends:

two solid buddies. Know what
I mean?

Let's get two things straight:

Whatever happens, even in the
shittiest situations,

they'll remain friends.

And no two-bit tramp like you
is going to come between them.

No matter how great a lay
she is.

Get it?
- Yes.

It's up to you:

Either you get back in your
heap,

I throw your suitcase in after
you,

and you clear out for good...

Believe me, we'll get over
you fast enough.

Or else you stay and make
Pascal happy.

And only Pascal.

I want you to be loyal and
loving. Understand?

Which will it be?

I'll stay.
- With whom?

with Pascal.

In that case, step this way.

I'm sorry, Viviane.

I got carried away.

I just wanted to clear things
up.

Don't be sore at me. Please
don't leave.

What'll I tell Pascal when he
wakes up to an empty house?

You crying?

Don't cry. You're not alone.
We're here.

You're too pretty to cry like
that.

I don't want to see you cry.

I want to see you laugh, dance,
twirl around!

Want to go dancing?
- No.

You can't go to bed with a
guy who's zonked out on Valium.

I'd like to go to the seashore.

Tough luck.

For now, we're in the
mountains.

Do you know who that girl is?
- No.

She's my best friend's girl.

Where's your best friend?

He's sick.

What a fool.

A lady like that shouldn't
be left alone.

She's not alone, she's with me.

Then dance with her.

Enjoy her while your friend is
sick.

Remember: I'm your best
friend's girl.

What's up?
- I wanted to see you.

I'm busy as hell.
- Can't we talk anyway?

It won't be easy.

Are we friends or not?
- Of course we are.

Sometimes I wonder.
- About what?

About the honesty of our
relationship.

What are you talking about?

How long have we been friends?
- About ten years.

You couldn't stand me at first.

I couldn't?
- Not at first, but I persisted.

Are you sorry?

No. I'm just reminding you
that it was my idea.

Why so emotional, all of a
sudden? You sick?

I want to go away.

Where to?
- Australia.

What for?

How would you feel if I left?

Cut the crap will you?

You don't give a damn.

You've got Vivian, so you
don't care.

If the world collapsed, you
wouldn't notice!

I hear you're depressed.

I'm okay now, false alarm.

Can I come in?
- What for?

To see your place.

It's just a sloppy bachelor
pad.

Pascal asked me to come.

So here I am.

He said, "Mickey's really down."

"You've got to cheer him up."

Shall I cheer you up?

I like your place.

Needs a woman's touch, but
it's nice.

You sleep up here?

Can I go up?
- No.

Too bad.

Why?

Just because.

Since I was feeling blue
myself.

I thought if we made love,
we'd feel better.

What's on your mind?

How can you be such a tramp?

I've had lots of practice.

I was lucky to start very
young,

so it's become second nature.

Want some tea?
- I'd like that.

Don't move. Don't move.

Are you in the loft?
- Yes.

In bed?

Are you mad at me?

No.

Are you coming up?

Don't you love me?

Yes.

Come with me to my place, quick.

You've got to see this.

Come and see.
- What?

Look at this bed.

Notice anything funny about it?

No, it's empty.
- That's the point. It's empty.

Wait a mintue. You made me
leave work at rush hour,

just to show me your bed's
empty?

It's always empty.

It's empty day and night,

weekdays and holidays,
always empty.

I sleep alone. Understand?

I've had it.

I'm fed up with waking up to
an empty bed,

while other guys sleep with
beautiful girls.

Me? I sleep with nobody!

See what I'm getting at?

It's tough being your friend.

I'm exhausted.

You say you have sudden
anxiety attacks,

that leave you shaking.

I feel like I'm being
followed.

By what?

By images.

Tell us about the images.

It's not really images,

it's more like a presence.

I feel a presence, even when
I'm alone.

It's always there.

Is it a friendly or hostile
presence?

I can't tell. It freaks me
out.

I just don't know.

Nothing serious, I hope.

No cause for alarm.

A simple case of fatigue.

Have you ever taken sedatives?

Who me?
- You're the patient, aren't you?

You're prescribing me
sedatives?

And plenty of rest at home.

For how long?
- At least three months.

You need rest.

What am I going to do?

You're going to rest, pal.

We'll take care of you at my
house.

You're lucky to have such a
friend.

Friendship is the best medicine.

I'm glad you're here.

I'm lucky to have both you
and Vivian here with me.

Won't these pills mess me up?

No, sedatives never messed up
anybody,

who wasn't already messed up.

Good night.

How'd you feel today?

A bit better? Calmer?

I'm ok.

You look better.

I'll bet.
- But you do.

You might get dressed once
in a while.

It's depressing to stay in
pamjamas all day.

I'm sick, sick men wear pamjamas.

Some sick men shave and wash.

I'm a sick man who stinks.

Why should I wash?

I'm all alone. At least my
body odor keeps me company.

I'm cold.

No you're not. The water's
piping hot.

I should know.

If I say I'm cold. I'm cold.

This is as hot as it gets.

It's really cold.

The hot water's about to run
out.

You don't give a damn.

What is it?
- I'm scared.

Scared of what? You're safe
here.

What if I died?
- You're not going to die.

What if I had a blood clot?

Where?
- In my brain, stupid.

They think you're overworked,
give you pills,

but in fact, you've got a
blood clot as big as a marble.

If it blocks up, you're dead.

What if you found me dead in
your bed?

Your best friend.

I need an encephaiogram!

Who was that doctor, anyway?
Has he ever cured anyone?

Calm down.

Everything's okay, I'm here.

I'd like an extra pillow.

You've got three.
- I want a fourth one.

I've got to sit up.

If I fall back asleep, it
might be for good.

Okay, I'll get you an extra
pillow.

I want Vivan's pillow.

What for?

Don't ask.

Some things you'll never
understand.

Now go get me Vivan's pillow!

What are you doing?

It's for a friend.

Know what you need?

A nice little woman.

Not a bad idea. Think it would
do me good?

I'm sure it would.

Well, one who's no great
beauty.

The pretty ones often spell
trouble.

But then again, not a real
dog either.

Just cute enough.

Or a kind of hidden beauty,

the kind with glasses,

who has gorgeous eyes behind
them.

What a swell guy.

He's solid gold: Tact,

sensitivity, modesty,

and generosity.

Why don't I go to sleep in
his cabin?

Then you two can sleep
together. You'd make a fine pair.

Do you love me?
- Yes, I love you.

Are you thirsty?
- I sure am.

How about some champagne?
- I'd love some.

With some chicken and a dab
of ketchup.

At your service.

What are you doing here?

Come look.
- What is it?

Come here.

Your buddy's a real creep.

Not at all.

There's no harm in it.

He just wanted to share our
love.

Look how he sleeps, like a
baby.

Hey Pascal.

I just had a terrible thought.

Are you a total nerd, or what?

I'm like everyone else,

I'm floundering.

Did you sleep well?

I had a few nightmares.

Nice day, isn't it?
- Very nice.

You're already dressed?

What's the occasion? Where
are you going?

I've got some bad news for
you.

You're leaving.

Just for a few days.

Where?

Paris.

For the ski show?

Like every year.

Taking Vivan along?

It's her first time.

What about me?

You'll take care of the house.

I don't want to stay here alone.
- You'll be fine.

Sleep in our room, if you like.

I don't want to be by myself.

He doesn't want to stay alone.

Well he'll have to! It's only
a week.

I've got to go for my work.

Between minding the booth
and meetings,

it won't be a pleasurable
trip.

What if I had a relapse?

Why are you looking at me?

No special reason. No reason.

If you expect me to hold his
hand, forget it.

I'm not his nurse.

Listen Mickey.
It's only a week.

Don't worry about me, I'll
survive.

I love you, Vivan.

Too late, Mickey.

You blew your chance.

You're an angel to do this,
I'll never forget this.

I wonder if I'm not making a
big mistake.

What will we tell Pascal?

About what?

About what's happened between
us.

Any regets?

No, but what will we tell him?

Do you want to keep it up?

Sure, but what will we tell
him?

We might tell him the truth.

We can't meet on the sly
forever.

How can I tell him such a
thing?

Very simply:

Pascal, I love Vivan. Period.

He already suspects as much.

I fall in love with all his
women.

He's no fool.

This time it's different.

You'll tell him, "I'm in
love with Vivan."

"And she's in love with me."

Are you in love with me?
- Yes.

Since when?

The first day we met.

Pascal, my old friend,

Why do we destroy the things
we love?

That's life, Mickey.
We didn't invent it.

It was that way before we came.

Pascal, don't look, just listen.

I've got something terrible to
tell you.

It's so awful

that you wouldn't believe it.

Are you really in love with me?
- Yes.

Why? Pascal is a much better
man.

True, Pascal's better.

But I prefer you.

What can I say, Pascal?

You're tall, rich, and handsome.

I'm short, ugly, and fat.

And a slob, but she loves me.

Figure that one out for me!

Maybe it's my style...

Some men look like lovers and
other men like husbands.

Be honest.

Swear you're not a tramp.

Does it matter so much?

Listen Pascal, it's very
simple.

No use in beating around the
bush.

Vivian is coming with me.

No use asking how or why.

No explanations. We're doing it.

Go on, beat the shit out of me.
I deserve it.

But I warn you, it won't
change a thing.

We love each other.

You're not going to back out
on me?

I'm not ruining a 10-year
friendship for nothing.

Are you backing out?

With me it's different.

Why?
- I know that...

if I pass up a chance like this,
I may never get another.

It's great to be home again,

with good friends.

You are looking better.
- I'm back on my feet again.

Did you go skiing?
- Not really.

We took some nice walks.

Notice anything different?

Where?
- In this room.

Notice anything different?
- No.

The suitcases.
- What about them?

There are two.

So what about them?

Isn't that normal?
- No.

Why?
- I only had one bag when I left.

What's in the other one?

Presents.

This is for you.
- Thanks.

Look what he brought me.

Why a gun?

Isn't a nice gadget?
- Sure.

Is it real?
- Come on, I'll show you.

What's wrong?

Nothing, why?

Usually, when lover have been
apart for a week,

they rush into each other's
arms.

Where are you going?
- I'll be back.

He suspects something, go
talk to him.

This can't go on.

I can't take the pressure.

I'm going.

He won't like this.

Do as you like, Mickey.

It's your life.

What are you doing here?
- I couldn't sleep.

Me niether, too much white
wine.

I guess so.

I'm glad you're here.
- You are?

I've got some important news
for you.

Good news or bad news.

Good news.

I'm not infatuated with
Vivian anymore.

You are right.

That's great news.

What happened? Meet someone
in Paris?

No.

Tired of her?
- No.

Find out something about her?
- Like what?

What's to find out?
- I don't know.

But with women, you never know
what to expect.

True, anything can happen.

That's true of men as well.

I guess so.

I wonder if men aren't more
two-faced than women.

You could be right.

Maybe so, but why are you
dropping Vivan?

I'm not...

Now I truly love her.
- Shit.

I can't sleep. I'm really
thristy and restless.

What are you two talking
about?

Secrets.

If they involve me, let me
know.

Okay?

Isn't she beautiful?

Not bad.

Maybe I'll marry her.

And have a baby with her.

What do you say?

It's a great idea.

Have you told her?
- Not yet.

This is a good time.

I just don't know how to tell
her.

You don't expect me to tell her?
- Why not?

As a favor for a friend.

Are you my friend?
- Yes.

Did you tell him?
- No.

What will you do now?
- I don't know.

I'll go back to my place.
And try to live a normal life until spring.

After that....

Maybe I'll go to St. Tropez.

They might need a disc jockey
there.

So here I am,

back to sqaure one.

Put away your seducer's outfit,
you're no ladykiller.

Set your sights a little lower,

taxi driver, madire d'

humble manservant.

"Madame is served."

"Madame's car is ready."

"Monsuier informs Madame that
guests have arrived."

Talking to yourself?

I'm afraid so.

When you're alone you talk
to yourself.

Why don't you come see us?

It's been two weeks since we
saw you.

I didn't want to intrude.

The honeymoon was over long
ago.

You and Vivan having trouble?

Tell me. There are three of
us in this affair.

We may seem four soon.

Another guy muscling in?

I see no other explanation.

She won't let me get near her.

Never the slightist show of
affection.

If I say how we spend our
evenings, you'd die.

That bitch.

You said she had a lover?

Yes.

Who?

Me.

What?

I tried to fight it.

It's no fun being a bastard.

You're not a bastard, you're
just a man.

In the ten years we have been
friends,

she's the first you've stolen.

No need to be ashamed.

What's going on here?

I'm leaving.

But you can't.

I told Pascal everything.
- Everything?

About us and our love.

What did he say?
- What could he say?

He knows he can't fight it.

We're free. No need to hide.

Sorry, it's too late.

I'm tired of the Alps and
need a change.

You can't leave with that creep.

Why not?
- Don't you realize,

he'll ditch you as soon as
he's tired of your ass.

Who said I was marrying him?

Where did he come from anyway?

What does she see in you?

Can't be your looks! What a
face.

He looks like a baboon.

Can't you see he's a thug?

He'll grab your perals and
mink and run.

I'm not materialistic.
- I don't care.

I'm warning you, I've got a
gun and I'll shoot.

Put away that squirt gun.

Can't you see she wants to
split?

Look out or you'll hurt yourself.

Shut up or you're a goner.
Don't move.

I've got you covered. You won't
get away with this.

What kind of line did you hand
her, anyway?

I handed her nothing, she
picked me up.

Made me quit my job to go to
the Riviera.

It's no use.

I'm just a rambler. I've
always been that way.

I can't settle down.

I've just got to move on.

I know you'll understand.

Take care, Mickey.

Hug Pascal for me.

Thank him for his hospitality.

The main thing is that we're
still friends.

Aren't we?

Of course we are.

How can they be such sluts,
when they could be angels?

The answer is not up to us,
but to medical science.

We treated her right.

If she'd had any sense, she'd
have kept us both.

We could have rotated.

She can go to hell for all
I care.

Besides, what was so great
about her?

I mean really great?
- Not much.

Her boobs, perhaps.

Yeah, her boobs.

But you can't go too far with
a pair of boobs.

You've seen one, you've seen
them all.

It's the rest that counts.

Like devoution, sensitivity,
conversation.

Conversation wise, she was
no whiz.

Not much brains in that
department.

She didn't discover the atom!

She was no Marie Curie.

She sure wasn't.

Acutally pal, we're lucky.

Her taking off was a blessing.

You think so?
- I do.

First of all, we're pals again.

We'll have a nice dinner,
a relaxing evening,

with intelligent conversation.

What if she came back?

We shouldn't be so unlucky.

What would you do if she did?

I'd kick her ass to teach
her a lesson.

What if she's sorry and comes
back all teary-eyed?

You want to soften me up, or
what?

Want to demoralize me?

My morale isn't to hot, anyway.

She won't come back.

Girls as adorable as that
never come back.

Don't get your hopes up. She's
gone. She's far away.

She's forgotten us. That's
life.

Life is hell.

What if she came back anyway?

We'd take her in our arms and
start fighting over her again!

You idiot!