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- Previously on Impress Me.
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- Jim is currently sleeping
on our couch, and it turns out
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that the understudy that
I hired is also allowed
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to live here, rent free.
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- I'm creating an impressionist
competition in which
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I am seeking the world's
greatest impressionists,
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and I will personally give
a cash prize of a quarter
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of a million dollars.
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- You're gonna write a check for a quarter
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of a million dollars?
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- Yeah.
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00:00:28,771 --> 00:00:30,350
- I'd like to unveil my one-step program
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to quit doing impressions.
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Win Piotr's competition.
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- Are you going to enter the competition?
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- Oh, absolutely.
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- Have you actually met the guy
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that's giving away the money?
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- Have you met Peyote?
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- His name's Piotr.
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- His impressions are ridiculous.
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- Yeah, he's very talented.
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- So who's your go-to?
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00:00:47,890 --> 00:00:51,150
- I do like Matthew
McConaughey, Brad Pitt.
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00:00:51,150 --> 00:00:52,455
I love doing John C. Riley.
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- Do John C. Riley.
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- I'd rather not.
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The thing is that this is my job.
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What do you do for a living?
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- I'm a graphic designer.
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- Right, so I mean, like
wouldn't it kinda suck
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if like everyone at this
party came up to you
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and was like hey, can you
design a website for me?
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- Whatever, I'll make your website.
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- Really?
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- John C. Riley, feel
like I'm gonna wreck.
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- You know Wanda don't play that.
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What's up little Sasquatch white man?
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- Whoa!
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- Well, Wanda, you seem like
a nice lady, you really do.
41
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But if you're going to impress
Nick Offerman, you're gonna--
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- Impress you?
43
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What do I gotta do to impress?
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I'm Whoopi Goldberg, I
impress the whole world.
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I'm an EGOT.
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I got an Emmy, a Grammy,
and Oscar and a Tony.
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- Okay, okay, okay.
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My man, huh?
49
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What do we got?
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We got Whoopi Goldberg,
we got Nick Offerman.
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Like we got a battle, huh?
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- I'm not really good at battles.
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We can go outside and
maybe take some medicine.
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- You know, speaking of medicines,
this is Rosie O'Donnell,
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I had a heart attack
recently, and you're giving me
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another one, sugar plumb.
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- Can you do Chris Rock?
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You don't know nothing
about no Chris Rock.
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- You don't know nothing about Chris Rock.
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- Oh!
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- sound like that!
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Chris Rock sound like this.
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- I ate his liver with some
fava beans and a nice Chianti.
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00:02:13,790 --> 00:02:14,850
- And as Jack Nicholson.
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I ate his liver with some
fava beans and a nice Chianti.
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Washed it down with a Budweiser.
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- Dustin Hoffman.
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- I'm walking here, I'm walking here!
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- Ah, Frank Sinatra.
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♪ I'm walking here ♪
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♪ I'm walking here ♪
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- You're gonna need a bigger boat.
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- Emma Stone, Scarlett
Johansson, Chelsea Handler.
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I know you're there.
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Please leave, don't, when I'm doing this.
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Thank you.
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I don't want you watching me.
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- Miley Cyrus.
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- John C. Riley.
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Oh, perfect.
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- Ronald Regan.
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- How're you doing, Ross?
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- Are you gonna be in there long?
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- It's fun.
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You're a beautiful baby.
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- A yes, things have
definitely change ever since
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Piotr announced his big
impression competition.
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For example, a few weeks ago
Andrea and Bianca were planning
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00:03:01,729 --> 00:03:04,005
this project together, and
they were like two peas
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00:03:04,005 --> 00:03:04,890
in a pod.
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- The guys are always
comparing their impressions
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among other things and that's
why they're always fighting,
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or trying to quit doing
impressions all together.
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But we are different.
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It's about doing what you do best.
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So, if we wanna both do
Liza Minnelli, well then
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I think we should both
do Liza Minnelli here
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in this coffee shop--
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- Fine, you're making me
do it, I'll just do it.
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00:03:22,594 --> 00:03:25,850
- But, after Piotr
announced his competition,
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you could tell it kinda
got in the way of things.
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- You come out, you introduce me, and then
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I will do my thing.
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- So, when I introduce
you, am I introducing you
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as my impression, or am I
introducing your impression?
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- Didn't we already go over this?
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- Do you want me to get it right or not?
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- But it's not only the women.
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A few weeks ago, Selena's
boyfriend Reggie had really been
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bonding with Jim.
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- Impressions are a job.
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It's not a passion.
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- Oh, wow, for you, that's true.
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- Yeah.
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- Well, you're so good,
though, Reggie, man.
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'Cause you treat it as a
job, and yet you deliver
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as if it's a passion.
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So, you've made some
kind of peace with it.
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- Well, let me be clear,
when I become President Obama
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and folks all over this great
nation, they wanna come up,
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take pictures, they wanna
shake my hand, they hand me
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their babies to kiss, it's a good feeling.
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- Are you sure they're handing
you their babies to kiss?
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Maybe their handing you
the babies 'cause they say
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here, you take care of him.
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I can't afford him, this economy.
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- See?
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00:04:18,681 --> 00:04:20,730
You still love doing impressions.
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- It's fun.
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It's always gonna be kind
of a, it's like for this,
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it's like we're paling around.
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- Jim?
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To me, it sounds like doing
impressions is a rather
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inconvenient truth for
you that's had a dramatic,
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lasting effect over your life.
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00:04:34,880 --> 00:04:38,261
- But after Piotr announced his
quarter million dollar prize
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Reggie and Jim have been very distant.
138
00:04:41,640 --> 00:04:42,517
- How's Selena?
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- Oh, good, good.
140
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- Annie?
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- Good, yeah.
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How's Ross?
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- He's good.
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Are you working on any new impressions?
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- No.
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00:04:57,480 --> 00:04:58,422
You?
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- No.
- Good.
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- What?
- Huh?
149
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- The tension is palpable.
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00:05:04,140 --> 00:05:06,170
Everyone's so focused
on their impressions,
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no one's even making eye contact anymore.
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- I totally geek out, I
totally need to geek out.
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- It got so bad, I just
needed to be out of the house,
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so I started going to
auditions I wasn't even up for
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just to sit in the waiting
room so I could clear my head.
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- Hey man.
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- What's up.
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- Which is kinda weird, now
that I say that out loud.
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- Oh, I'm so sorry.
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- That's okay.
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00:05:40,120 --> 00:05:42,610
- Wait, Ross?
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00:05:42,610 --> 00:05:43,706
Ross, right?
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00:05:43,706 --> 00:05:44,980
- Yeah.
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00:05:44,980 --> 00:05:45,960
- Hey, Sean.
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We worked on that indie movie
together with Matt Jones.
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Remember?
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And your buddy flipped out on set.
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The whole Russel Crowe thing.
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- My name is Maximus
Tessimus Meridius, commander
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of the North.
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- All right, yeah, okay.
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Sorry.
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I'm sorry.
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It's not an impression, okay.
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You're not an impressionist.
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Yeah, I think that
moment's permanently burned
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into my memory.
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Thank you for reminding
me of the pain and agony
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00:06:09,040 --> 00:06:11,271
of that moment and how long
it took me to get over it.
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00:06:11,271 --> 00:06:13,580
Yeah, that kinda rings a bell.
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00:06:13,580 --> 00:06:16,120
- Yeah, dude, after you guys
got fired, I went online
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and looked your stuff up.
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You're incredible.
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You guys are like
professional impression guys.
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- Thank you.
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00:06:23,250 --> 00:06:25,080
Yeah, we do like voice matching.
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- You should quit acting,
man, you're so good
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at impressions, I wouldn't even.
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00:06:28,300 --> 00:06:30,231
Look, actually, I have
a favor to ask, though.
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My Mom, she's not doing too well.
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00:06:32,300 --> 00:06:34,160
There's no reason to get
sad and morbid about it,
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00:06:34,160 --> 00:06:36,510
but I don't know.
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00:06:36,510 --> 00:06:38,260
She could use like a pick me up.
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00:06:38,260 --> 00:06:40,010
- Oh, I'm sorry to hear that.
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00:06:40,010 --> 00:06:40,843
Is she all right?
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- No, yeah, she's good, but
she's a die hard Tom Cruise fan.
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00:06:44,114 --> 00:06:45,260
- Oh.
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00:06:45,260 --> 00:06:46,320
- And--
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00:06:46,320 --> 00:06:48,620
- Oh, you want me to like
call, leave a voicemail
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00:06:48,620 --> 00:06:49,630
as Tom Cruise?
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00:06:49,630 --> 00:06:51,260
I get asked this all the time.
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00:06:51,260 --> 00:06:55,160
Birthday calls, sick calls,
prank calls, and the truth is
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00:06:55,160 --> 00:06:58,970
that I usually decline, but
after seeing Hundo and Rachel
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and JQ at the party the other
night doing their thing,
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00:07:01,426 --> 00:07:04,193
I kinda felt like a
fool for not joining in.
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00:07:04,193 --> 00:07:06,130
- That would be cool, but you
know what would be awesome is
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00:07:06,130 --> 00:07:09,730
if you actually, if you could
come in and do a house visit.
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00:07:09,730 --> 00:07:10,711
Do it in person.
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00:07:10,711 --> 00:07:12,063
- Come in person and?
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00:07:12,063 --> 00:07:13,200
- Yeah.
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00:07:13,200 --> 00:07:14,280
- I don't know.
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00:07:14,280 --> 00:07:15,980
The joke wouldn't probably play--
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00:07:15,980 --> 00:07:17,500
- Trust me, it'll be great.
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00:07:17,500 --> 00:07:18,500
It'll be great.
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00:07:18,500 --> 00:07:19,653
- A home visit?
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00:07:19,653 --> 00:07:21,052
Honestly?
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00:07:21,052 --> 00:07:22,840
Eh.
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00:07:22,840 --> 00:07:24,627
I know, I shouldn't complain.
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00:07:24,627 --> 00:07:26,510
It'll be nice, actually.
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00:07:26,510 --> 00:07:29,410
I get to brighten someone's
day and work on my Tom Cruise
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00:07:29,410 --> 00:07:30,710
at the same time.
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00:07:30,710 --> 00:07:31,543
Really, it'll be fine.
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00:07:31,543 --> 00:07:32,890
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
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00:07:32,890 --> 00:07:35,610
Well, yeah, just give me
her name and number, I guess
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00:07:35,610 --> 00:07:36,634
a good time to go over--
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00:07:36,634 --> 00:07:37,940
- Yes!
227
00:07:37,940 --> 00:07:39,290
Awesome!
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00:07:39,290 --> 00:07:40,830
Yeah, I'll, you wanna do it now?
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00:07:40,830 --> 00:07:43,190
Or you wanna do it
after your audition, or?
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00:07:43,190 --> 00:07:44,631
- Oh, I'm not here for an audition.
231
00:07:44,631 --> 00:07:45,980
- What?
232
00:07:47,460 --> 00:07:48,530
- Reggie?
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00:07:48,530 --> 00:07:49,363
Hey.
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00:07:57,180 --> 00:07:58,330
- What's going on, man?
235
00:07:59,320 --> 00:08:02,427
- Look, Jim, I just didn't
know where else to go.
236
00:08:02,427 --> 00:08:06,463
I'm stuck in Obama, and I can't get out.
237
00:08:06,463 --> 00:08:09,694
- When you're stressed
out, as an impressionist,
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00:08:09,694 --> 00:08:12,900
your mind, it's under a lot
of pressure, that affects
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00:08:12,900 --> 00:08:15,469
your vocal cords, it
affects your vision of you,
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00:08:15,469 --> 00:08:19,240
of yourself, of your own personality.
241
00:08:19,240 --> 00:08:21,943
Your eyes can start to
jiggle, it's strange.
242
00:08:21,943 --> 00:08:24,930
Writer's get writer's block,
and it's very accepted.
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00:08:24,930 --> 00:08:27,640
Impressionists get impression
block, and it does happen.
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00:08:27,640 --> 00:08:29,770
It's scientific, it's a real thing.
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I've seen it, it's scary.
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00:08:31,139 --> 00:08:32,950
- How long has it been?
247
00:08:32,950 --> 00:08:35,370
- Last night, I was
with Selena and we were
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00:08:36,808 --> 00:08:40,210
Nevermind, that's not the point.
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00:08:40,210 --> 00:08:43,682
The point is she told me I was
doing it and I had no idea.
250
00:08:43,682 --> 00:08:47,170
So, I went to bed and
I thought I'd wake up
251
00:08:47,170 --> 00:08:48,160
and everything would be okay.
252
00:08:48,160 --> 00:08:49,827
This morning, it was worse.
253
00:08:49,827 --> 00:08:51,560
- You came to the right place.
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00:08:51,560 --> 00:08:52,630
You're gonna be fine, all right.
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00:08:52,630 --> 00:08:54,950
Relax here on the couch, just
sit down, chill for a minute.
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00:08:54,950 --> 00:08:56,052
- Thank you so much.
257
00:08:56,052 --> 00:08:58,170
- All right, where's Ross?
258
00:08:58,170 --> 00:08:59,784
We're gonna need a lot of impressions.
259
00:08:59,784 --> 00:09:02,090
- He's doing that Tom Cruise
thing for that sick old lady.
260
00:09:02,090 --> 00:09:02,923
- That's right.
261
00:09:02,923 --> 00:09:04,280
Okay, call Bianca.
262
00:09:04,280 --> 00:09:06,890
- Well, we haven't really
been talking since our fight--
263
00:09:06,890 --> 00:09:07,723
- Oh, please.
264
00:09:07,723 --> 00:09:09,276
Just call Bianca, this is important.
265
00:09:09,276 --> 00:09:12,200
- Wow, what a beautiful home.
266
00:09:12,200 --> 00:09:13,503
- Yeah, it's a home.
267
00:09:13,503 --> 00:09:15,460
Hey, thanks so much for doing this, Ross.
268
00:09:15,460 --> 00:09:16,560
I really appreciate it.
269
00:09:16,560 --> 00:09:18,213
- Oh yeah, it's no problem, really.
270
00:09:18,213 --> 00:09:20,552
- You feeling good
about your Cruise today?
271
00:09:20,552 --> 00:09:22,600
- Yeah, it's fine.
272
00:09:22,600 --> 00:09:24,410
Passable, I think.
273
00:09:24,410 --> 00:09:25,950
- Okay, has been to be perfect.
274
00:09:25,950 --> 00:09:27,590
Like I said, my Mom's
really not doing well.
275
00:09:27,590 --> 00:09:28,950
We don't how much time she has left.
276
00:09:28,950 --> 00:09:31,066
She really can't even see
anything out of her eyes anymore.
277
00:09:31,066 --> 00:09:32,380
- So sorry.
278
00:09:32,380 --> 00:09:33,720
- No, no, no, are you kidding me?
279
00:09:33,720 --> 00:09:34,553
Don't be sorry.
280
00:09:34,553 --> 00:09:37,258
Just, your Cruise has to be perfect.
281
00:09:37,258 --> 00:09:39,576
- Right, yeah no, I'll do my best.
282
00:09:39,576 --> 00:09:42,740
- Just so you know, the
premise of this whole
283
00:09:42,740 --> 00:09:45,890
situation today is that I met
Tom Cruise at a film premier
284
00:09:45,890 --> 00:09:48,430
and he agreed to come over
and stop by and say hi,
285
00:09:48,430 --> 00:09:50,384
but only briefly, so it'll
be over really quick.
286
00:09:50,384 --> 00:09:54,510
- Wait, you told her that
the real Tom Cruise was going
287
00:09:54,510 --> 00:09:55,760
to come here today?
288
00:09:55,760 --> 00:09:56,593
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
289
00:09:56,593 --> 00:09:57,426
I've seen your stuff.
290
00:09:57,426 --> 00:09:59,102
You're gonna be great, you can
pull it off, I know you can.
291
00:09:59,940 --> 00:10:03,560
- I'm sorry, I really
don't feel comfortable with
292
00:10:03,560 --> 00:10:04,460
any of that, that's--
293
00:10:04,460 --> 00:10:05,691
- Are you joking?
294
00:10:05,691 --> 00:10:07,040
- Are you joking?
295
00:10:07,040 --> 00:10:09,520
Your mother is blind, sick and bedridden.
296
00:10:09,520 --> 00:10:10,820
You want me to prank her?
297
00:10:10,820 --> 00:10:13,000
- Ross, if you leave now, she'll
think that Tom Cruise took
298
00:10:13,000 --> 00:10:14,680
one look at her and left.
299
00:10:14,680 --> 00:10:16,353
That'll ruin her.
300
00:10:16,353 --> 00:10:18,410
You have to do this.
301
00:10:22,265 --> 00:10:23,485
- I got here as fast as I could.
302
00:10:23,485 --> 00:10:24,470
How's he doing?
303
00:10:24,470 --> 00:10:25,660
- Bianca, here's the situation.
304
00:10:25,660 --> 00:10:28,240
Reggie has, he's kinda
wandered off the path.
305
00:10:28,240 --> 00:10:30,950
We're gonna lead him
back into being Reggie.
306
00:10:30,950 --> 00:10:33,640
So what we need is we need a
lot of impressions, we need
307
00:10:33,640 --> 00:10:36,270
a lot of stuff to kinda
break open the log jam.
308
00:10:37,460 --> 00:10:38,293
Maybe you can--
309
00:10:38,293 --> 00:10:41,050
- I'm Barack Obama, and
I approve that idea.
310
00:10:41,050 --> 00:10:42,602
- Bloody hell, it's getting worse!
311
00:10:42,602 --> 00:10:46,850
- Just look Reggie in the
eye, just very deeply,
312
00:10:46,850 --> 00:10:49,684
very directly, try to contact
him and just rattle off
313
00:10:49,684 --> 00:10:51,870
a few of your great impressions.
314
00:10:51,870 --> 00:10:52,703
Go ahead.
315
00:10:52,703 --> 00:10:53,536
- Okay.
316
00:10:57,820 --> 00:10:59,254
- It doesn't matter which one
you start with, we just need
317
00:10:59,254 --> 00:11:00,110
a lot of them.
318
00:11:00,110 --> 00:11:01,190
- I'm sorry, Jim, I can't.
319
00:11:01,190 --> 00:11:02,023
- What are you talking about?
320
00:11:02,023 --> 00:11:03,760
Is this this competition thing?
321
00:11:03,760 --> 00:11:05,510
Will you put that aside for once?
322
00:11:05,510 --> 00:11:06,970
This is a man who needs your help!
323
00:11:06,970 --> 00:11:07,803
- I can't!
324
00:11:07,803 --> 00:11:10,170
I woke up this morning,
and I can't do impressions!
325
00:11:10,170 --> 00:11:11,460
I don't know.
326
00:11:11,460 --> 00:11:13,540
I've been practicing so
many, and studying so hard,
327
00:11:13,540 --> 00:11:14,800
all of a sudden, they're
all jumbled together
328
00:11:14,800 --> 00:11:15,680
and I can't do one!
329
00:11:15,680 --> 00:11:17,535
I have no idea what happened,
it's like I just have
330
00:11:17,535 --> 00:11:19,970
completely forgotten
how to do impressions!
331
00:11:19,970 --> 00:11:20,803
- What?
332
00:11:20,803 --> 00:11:21,950
We've got a show tonight!
333
00:11:21,950 --> 00:11:22,900
- Don't you think I know that?
334
00:11:22,900 --> 00:11:24,100
I've been freaking out all day.
335
00:11:24,100 --> 00:11:25,720
I have no idea what to do.
336
00:11:25,720 --> 00:11:27,040
- It was a creed that was
shouted from the lips of those
337
00:11:27,040 --> 00:11:29,530
that waited in line for
three hours and four hours
338
00:11:29,530 --> 00:11:30,950
to bring about change.
339
00:11:30,950 --> 00:11:31,980
- What's happening to us?
340
00:11:31,980 --> 00:11:32,813
- Mom?
341
00:11:32,813 --> 00:11:36,140
I have very, very special
that I want you to meet.
342
00:11:39,160 --> 00:11:42,870
- Gertrude, you are
just a beautiful woman.
343
00:11:42,870 --> 00:11:44,720
It is so nice to meet you.
344
00:11:44,720 --> 00:11:46,580
- Oh, my sweet Ansel.
345
00:11:48,570 --> 00:11:51,840
Baptize me twice, it really is you.
346
00:11:51,840 --> 00:11:53,710
I know that voice.
347
00:11:53,710 --> 00:11:56,560
God knows I know that voice.
348
00:11:56,560 --> 00:11:59,930
- Oh, well, Gertrude,
I enjoy helping people.
349
00:11:59,930 --> 00:12:01,210
I really do.
350
00:12:01,210 --> 00:12:02,410
I've been all over the world,
351
00:12:02,410 --> 00:12:05,030
and I enjoy making a difference.
352
00:12:05,030 --> 00:12:06,860
- Oh, Tom I know.
353
00:12:06,860 --> 00:12:09,707
I have been following you for 34 years.
354
00:12:09,707 --> 00:12:12,685
I probably know you better
than you know yourself.
355
00:12:14,659 --> 00:12:16,320
- That's probably true.
356
00:12:16,320 --> 00:12:19,590
- I have no problem getting
into character, but if I get
357
00:12:19,590 --> 00:12:23,490
in too deep, bad things
kinda tend to happen.
358
00:12:23,490 --> 00:12:25,210
- We need a Christian
Bale apology interview,
359
00:12:25,210 --> 00:12:26,633
like two minutes ago.
360
00:12:26,633 --> 00:12:27,720
- Dun da da da da.
361
00:12:27,720 --> 00:12:29,030
Which Christian are we gonna get now?
362
00:12:29,030 --> 00:12:30,924
- Why are you trashing the interview, man?
363
00:12:30,924 --> 00:12:32,550
You're trashing the interview.
364
00:12:32,550 --> 00:12:34,216
- Who are we actually going to believe?
365
00:12:34,216 --> 00:12:35,318
Who should we believe?
366
00:12:35,318 --> 00:12:36,315
- No, no listen!
367
00:12:36,315 --> 00:12:38,015
You're trashing the interview, man!
368
00:12:38,015 --> 00:12:41,126
I try to call her to
apologize and you're in here
369
00:12:41,126 --> 00:12:42,730
dun da da da da!
370
00:12:42,730 --> 00:12:44,930
It's distracting, mate!
371
00:12:44,930 --> 00:12:48,110
- So, in a situation like
this, it's important for me
372
00:12:48,110 --> 00:12:50,880
to be really grounded in reality.
373
00:12:50,880 --> 00:12:53,293
- Tom, I had a dream about you.
374
00:12:53,293 --> 00:12:56,538
I've had lots of dreams
about you, but none of them
375
00:12:56,538 --> 00:12:58,640
as sexually explicit--
376
00:12:58,640 --> 00:13:00,088
- Okay, Mom, let's not, Mom.
377
00:13:00,088 --> 00:13:01,130
Mom!
378
00:13:01,130 --> 00:13:02,072
Easy--
379
00:13:02,072 --> 00:13:03,151
- Sean!
380
00:13:03,151 --> 00:13:03,984
Don't you talk to Tom that way!
381
00:13:03,984 --> 00:13:06,280
- Oh no, it's okay, Gertrude.
382
00:13:06,280 --> 00:13:08,270
You have a wonderful boy, here.
383
00:13:08,270 --> 00:13:09,390
You should be very proud.
384
00:13:09,390 --> 00:13:10,920
- He's nothing compared to you.
385
00:13:10,920 --> 00:13:13,020
He is absolutely nothing.
386
00:13:13,020 --> 00:13:15,200
- All right, Mom, I think
it's time for Tom to go now.
387
00:13:15,200 --> 00:13:16,105
Let's--
388
00:13:16,105 --> 00:13:16,938
- You can't speak for Tom.
389
00:13:16,938 --> 00:13:18,070
- Oh, you know what?
390
00:13:18,070 --> 00:13:20,390
Your boy is right, I
do you, I have to run,
391
00:13:20,390 --> 00:13:22,960
but it was so nice meeting you.
392
00:13:22,960 --> 00:13:27,070
- Oh, you have just made my day.
393
00:13:27,070 --> 00:13:29,000
Oh, my year.
394
00:13:29,890 --> 00:13:32,094
- Really glad to hear that,
it was so nice meeting you.
395
00:13:32,094 --> 00:13:34,358
- Oh, well it was so nice meeting you.
396
00:13:34,358 --> 00:13:36,990
And you have a great birthday next month.
397
00:13:36,990 --> 00:13:38,744
- You know I will, thank you so much.
398
00:13:38,744 --> 00:13:40,233
- I knew it!
399
00:13:40,233 --> 00:13:42,710
You're not Tom Cruise!
400
00:13:42,710 --> 00:13:45,680
Tom Cruise's birthday
was three months ago!
401
00:13:45,680 --> 00:13:48,030
You get out, you imposter!
402
00:13:48,030 --> 00:13:52,280
I knew it the moment I
smelled that cheap cologne
403
00:13:52,280 --> 00:13:54,510
you were wearing, Tom would never!
404
00:13:54,510 --> 00:13:55,768
Sean!
- Yes!
405
00:13:55,768 --> 00:13:57,730
- Who did you let in our house?
406
00:13:57,730 --> 00:13:59,733
- I don't know, Mom, I don't know!
407
00:13:59,733 --> 00:14:01,440
- Gertrude, Gertrude.
408
00:14:01,440 --> 00:14:02,940
I assure you, I am Tom Cruise.
409
00:14:02,940 --> 00:14:04,660
I'm sorry, I didn't hear what you said.
410
00:14:04,660 --> 00:14:05,660
I'm operating on cruise control--
411
00:14:05,660 --> 00:14:06,493
- Imposter!
412
00:14:06,493 --> 00:14:07,592
Get out!
- Get out!
413
00:14:07,592 --> 00:14:09,229
- Get out!
- Get out!
414
00:14:09,229 --> 00:14:10,334
- Help me, help you.
415
00:14:10,334 --> 00:14:11,834
Help me, help you.
416
00:14:13,223 --> 00:14:14,800
Gertrude, come on.
417
00:14:14,800 --> 00:14:15,799
Show me the money.
418
00:14:15,799 --> 00:14:17,080
- Go dig a hole.
- Leave.
419
00:14:17,080 --> 00:14:20,310
- And this is why I'm not
gonna do my impression for you.
420
00:14:20,310 --> 00:14:21,143
I'm sorry.
421
00:14:21,143 --> 00:14:22,880
I'm sure you're a good person, but I'm not
422
00:14:22,880 --> 00:14:26,770
a performing monkey, when you
put me in pressure situations
423
00:14:26,770 --> 00:14:31,150
like this to perform
perfectly for a high-stress,
424
00:14:31,150 --> 00:14:34,760
high-stakes situation, bad things happen.
425
00:14:34,760 --> 00:14:37,780
So, no I'm sorry the answer is no.
426
00:14:37,780 --> 00:14:39,180
I'm not gonna do it for you.
427
00:14:40,720 --> 00:14:45,510
Unless of course it's like
a professional, paying gig.
428
00:14:49,863 --> 00:14:51,670
- From the bustling streets
of New York City to the hills
429
00:14:51,670 --> 00:14:53,760
of San Francisco, we are not as divided
430
00:14:53,760 --> 00:14:55,223
as our politics suggest.
431
00:14:55,223 --> 00:14:57,659
We're one nation, one people.
432
00:14:57,659 --> 00:15:00,267
There are no red states or blue states.
433
00:15:00,267 --> 00:15:04,293
We're the United States, with
liberty and justice for all.
434
00:15:04,293 --> 00:15:05,920
Thank you, so much.
435
00:15:07,650 --> 00:15:08,881
- What do we do?
436
00:15:08,881 --> 00:15:10,240
- I don't know.
437
00:15:10,240 --> 00:15:12,690
I have never seen two crackups happen
438
00:15:12,690 --> 00:15:14,040
at the same time like this.
439
00:15:15,799 --> 00:15:17,870
I hate myself for thinking this, but what
440
00:15:17,870 --> 00:15:19,115
if it's contagious?
441
00:15:19,115 --> 00:15:20,400
- Hey, what's going on, guys?
442
00:15:20,400 --> 00:15:21,233
- No, no, no, no!
443
00:15:21,233 --> 00:15:22,220
Don't get any closer.
444
00:15:22,220 --> 00:15:23,304
- What?
445
00:15:23,304 --> 00:15:24,137
What's going on?
446
00:15:24,137 --> 00:15:25,230
- Bianca can't do
impressions, Reggie's stuck
447
00:15:25,230 --> 00:15:26,664
in the president.
448
00:15:26,664 --> 00:15:28,570
- He's stuck in the president?
449
00:15:28,570 --> 00:15:30,750
See, I told you, you have to be careful.
450
00:15:30,750 --> 00:15:31,770
It gets in your head.
451
00:15:31,770 --> 00:15:32,750
I'm gonna go talk to them.
452
00:15:32,750 --> 00:15:34,497
- No, no, Jim thinks
it might be contagious.
453
00:15:34,497 --> 00:15:36,170
- Contagious?
454
00:15:36,170 --> 00:15:38,290
- I was just putting it out there.
455
00:15:38,290 --> 00:15:39,290
- That's ridiculous.
456
00:15:42,358 --> 00:15:44,850
Hey guys.
457
00:15:45,945 --> 00:15:48,560
What seems to be the problem?
458
00:15:48,560 --> 00:15:51,260
- I'll tell you what the
problem is, the problem is
459
00:15:51,260 --> 00:15:52,920
that you guys are so
concerned about winning
460
00:15:52,920 --> 00:15:54,320
that you've completely forgotten
461
00:15:54,320 --> 00:15:56,060
that you guys can help each other.
462
00:15:56,060 --> 00:15:57,730
Okay, guess why I'm living here.
463
00:15:57,730 --> 00:15:58,563
Guess.
464
00:15:58,563 --> 00:15:59,710
Do you think it's the outdoor couch?
465
00:15:59,710 --> 00:16:01,100
No, it is very cozy, though.
466
00:16:01,100 --> 00:16:02,300
Do you think it's the pool?
467
00:16:02,300 --> 00:16:04,234
That it's always a perfect
81 degrees temperature?
468
00:16:04,234 --> 00:16:05,470
No.
469
00:16:05,470 --> 00:16:07,670
Do you think it's the water
pressure, which is amazing
470
00:16:07,670 --> 00:16:08,503
by the way.
471
00:16:08,503 --> 00:16:10,950
It is like an affectionate
fire hose, it's incredible.
472
00:16:10,950 --> 00:16:11,783
No.
473
00:16:11,783 --> 00:16:13,330
- I want to be around the impression guys.
474
00:16:13,330 --> 00:16:15,984
I want to learn how to
do Ross' John C. Reilly,
475
00:16:15,984 --> 00:16:18,790
or Jim's Sir Ian McKellen.
476
00:16:18,790 --> 00:16:20,530
And icing on the cake,
'cause you guys are friends
477
00:16:20,530 --> 00:16:23,010
with Bianca and Reggie and Peyote.
478
00:16:23,010 --> 00:16:23,990
- It's Piotr.
- It's Piotr.
479
00:16:23,990 --> 00:16:24,823
That's his real name.
480
00:16:24,823 --> 00:16:26,070
- Sure any of us could win this thing.
481
00:16:26,070 --> 00:16:27,150
We could win a lot of money.
482
00:16:27,150 --> 00:16:28,680
We could win a lot of money.
483
00:16:28,680 --> 00:16:31,180
But money does not buy you friends.
484
00:16:31,180 --> 00:16:32,440
Friendship is earned.
485
00:16:32,440 --> 00:16:35,700
If you want to buy
something, buy a new bathtub.
486
00:16:42,952 --> 00:16:44,723
- What's just happened?
487
00:16:44,723 --> 00:16:47,430
Seriously, what was that?
488
00:16:47,430 --> 00:16:51,190
- Boy, that Hundo character
is a real maverick
489
00:16:51,190 --> 00:16:53,690
from real America, you betcha.
490
00:16:53,690 --> 00:16:55,480
- Boy, that felt so good.
491
00:16:55,480 --> 00:16:57,846
- For the record, I was
actually gonna say something
492
00:16:57,846 --> 00:17:00,010
very similar to that.
493
00:17:00,010 --> 00:17:01,740
- Seriously, though, we
do need to do something
494
00:17:01,740 --> 00:17:02,573
about that bathtub.
495
00:17:02,573 --> 00:17:03,406
It backs up.
496
00:17:03,406 --> 00:17:05,147
I'll call a few contractors, okay?
497
00:17:05,147 --> 00:17:06,990
- Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.
498
00:17:06,990 --> 00:17:09,220
Before we officially begin,
I think we should have
499
00:17:09,220 --> 00:17:12,487
a few words from Academy
Award winner Monique.
500
00:17:12,487 --> 00:17:16,850
- Thank ya, thank ya for coming tonight.
501
00:17:16,850 --> 00:17:21,850
I'm gonna order you to
turn off your cell phones.
502
00:17:22,174 --> 00:17:24,390
Penelope Cruz, she knows what's up.
503
00:17:24,390 --> 00:17:26,970
- Yes, I still do not own a cell phone.
504
00:17:26,970 --> 00:17:28,980
I prefer talking face to face.
505
00:17:28,980 --> 00:17:30,520
It is better.
506
00:17:30,520 --> 00:17:33,330
Ladies and gentlemen, we've
got a fantastic show for you
507
00:17:33,330 --> 00:17:36,078
tonight with about a
dozen performers, but,
508
00:17:36,078 --> 00:17:41,078
to start the show off right,
one of my best friends,
509
00:17:41,110 --> 00:17:42,989
one of the most talented
women you'll ever meet,
510
00:17:42,989 --> 00:17:46,019
the incomparable Bianca Miller.
511
00:17:48,634 --> 00:17:52,169
♪ Sometimes you're
asked to stand in line ♪
512
00:17:52,169 --> 00:17:55,942
♪ Wait your turn, give me mine ♪
513
00:17:55,942 --> 00:18:00,311
♪ Be what someone else defines, but ♪
514
00:18:00,311 --> 00:18:03,651
♪ Sometimes someone's wrong ♪
515
00:18:03,651 --> 00:18:06,930
♪ Sometimes someone's wrong ♪
516
00:18:06,930 --> 00:18:07,809
- Barbara Streisand.
517
00:18:07,809 --> 00:18:10,041
♪ Walk where he's tread ♪
518
00:18:10,041 --> 00:18:12,072
♪ Step in her shoe ♪
519
00:18:12,072 --> 00:18:15,260
♪ Somebody tell you
you've never been blue ♪
520
00:18:15,260 --> 00:18:16,093
- Norah Jones.
521
00:18:16,093 --> 00:18:19,473
♪ Someone thinks he understands you, but ♪
522
00:18:19,473 --> 00:18:22,193
♪ Sometimes someone's wrong ♪
523
00:18:22,193 --> 00:18:23,527
- Adele.
524
00:18:23,527 --> 00:18:26,663
♪ Oh, sometimes someone's wrong ♪
525
00:18:26,663 --> 00:18:29,458
- Julie Andrews.
526
00:18:29,458 --> 00:18:32,825
♪ Do that or if you fail the test ♪
527
00:18:32,825 --> 00:18:34,092
♪ Don't sweat ♪
528
00:18:34,092 --> 00:18:36,700
♪ What said by all the rest ♪
529
00:18:36,700 --> 00:18:37,694
- Bernadette Peters.
530
00:18:37,694 --> 00:18:40,727
♪ Don't worry when I'm second guessed ♪
531
00:18:40,727 --> 00:18:43,696
♪ Just do what you do best ♪
532
00:18:43,696 --> 00:18:45,072
- Kristen Chenoweth.
533
00:18:45,072 --> 00:18:48,650
♪ Just do what you do best ♪
534
00:18:48,650 --> 00:18:50,219
- How about a little Zoe Deschanel?
535
00:18:50,219 --> 00:18:51,264
- Oh.
536
00:18:51,264 --> 00:18:54,470
♪ Flower in that field out there ♪
537
00:18:54,470 --> 00:18:58,370
♪ We can't say do be do without care ♪
538
00:18:58,370 --> 00:18:59,513
- Alanis.
539
00:18:59,513 --> 00:19:02,480
♪ 'Cause blinders can't
quite be compared ♪
540
00:19:02,480 --> 00:19:05,649
♪ To someone sometimes wrong, yeah ♪
541
00:19:05,649 --> 00:19:09,368
♪ Sometimes someone's wrong ♪
542
00:19:09,368 --> 00:19:10,513
- Kelly Clarkson.
543
00:19:10,513 --> 00:19:14,052
♪ Some might say it's been late at night ♪
544
00:19:14,052 --> 00:19:18,014
♪ Through when some
pain gets all upright ♪
545
00:19:18,014 --> 00:19:18,960
- Celine Dion.
546
00:19:18,960 --> 00:19:22,087
♪ Against a world, all right let's climb ♪
547
00:19:22,087 --> 00:19:25,201
♪ But sometimes I get it wrong ♪
548
00:19:25,201 --> 00:19:28,895
♪ Sometimes I get it wrong ♪
549
00:19:28,895 --> 00:19:30,055
- Christina Aguilera.
550
00:19:30,055 --> 00:19:31,981
♪ Oh ♪
551
00:19:31,981 --> 00:19:35,173
♪ Don't matter if you fail the test ♪
552
00:19:35,173 --> 00:19:36,110
- Liza Minnelli.
553
00:19:36,110 --> 00:19:38,925
♪ Don't sweat what's
said by all the rest ♪
554
00:19:38,925 --> 00:19:39,826
- Dolly Parton.
555
00:19:39,826 --> 00:19:43,179
♪ Don't worry when I'm second guessed ♪
556
00:19:43,179 --> 00:19:45,734
♪ Just do what you do best ♪
557
00:19:45,734 --> 00:19:47,043
- Judy Garland.
558
00:19:47,043 --> 00:19:50,036
♪ Just do what you do best ♪
559
00:19:50,036 --> 00:19:51,672
- Take it home, Bianca!
560
00:19:51,672 --> 00:19:54,716
♪ Don't matter if you fail the test ♪
561
00:19:54,716 --> 00:19:58,402
♪ Don't sweat what's
said by all the rest ♪
562
00:19:58,402 --> 00:20:02,434
♪ Don't you worry if
you're second guessed ♪
563
00:20:02,434 --> 00:20:06,011
♪ Just do what you do best ♪
564
00:20:06,011 --> 00:20:10,061
♪ Just do what you do best ♪
565
00:20:10,061 --> 00:20:13,644
♪ Just do what you do best ♪
566
00:20:18,810 --> 00:20:20,559
- Ladies and gentlemen, Ms. Bianca Miller.
567
00:20:29,550 --> 00:20:31,300
- On the next Impress Me.
568
00:20:31,300 --> 00:20:32,783
- This can't be Piotr's house.
569
00:20:32,783 --> 00:20:33,960
- Piotr's museum.
570
00:20:33,960 --> 00:20:35,900
- He made a YouTube video from prison.
571
00:20:35,900 --> 00:20:37,130
- Californians.
572
00:20:37,130 --> 00:20:40,860
- I like take the 118 to
215, take that across the 10.
573
00:20:40,860 --> 00:20:43,653
- Regardless of what
happens at the competition.
574
00:20:43,653 --> 00:20:44,710
You got it!
575
00:20:48,469 --> 00:20:51,052
♪ Soul Pancake ♪
41311
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