Original subtitles

- Previously on Impress Me.

- Looks like my daughter, Selena, has moved in

with her boyfriend who I've not yet met.

- Jim is currently sleeping on our couch.

- Annie sold the house we lived in for 15 years.

- And it turns out that the understudy

that I hired is also allowed to live here rent-free.

- Piat has been arrested for insider trading

and is going to jail.

- Wait, what?

- Hey, guys.

This is Piat, and as you know,

I've been incarcerated against my will.

- Ah Piat, he's good, innocent.

- Hey man, I had my fair share of crime lords and gangsters.

Jet's not one of them.

- We have to have help this dude, man.

- Everybody loves P.I.

- Can somebody out there do something?

- I'm getting frustrated over here.

- I'm losing my mind!

- I feel the dark side of the force is taking over.

- Fricking hot!

- Poor little hobbit.

- Ganga make.

- Mister Potter.

- Professor Snape.

- Truth is, none of these celebrities can help.

Only you guys can.

The YouTubers.

Listen guys, I've gotta go.

Help me please.

- Now after Piat's video went viral

the public outcry for Piat release was louder

than a Comic Con sighting of Nathan Fillion in a brown coat.

Plus, the hashtag, #legalizepiat almost broke Twitter.

Not to mention, super successful.

Because Piat is now a free man.

- Okay, what do you have to say to the accusations

that your name isn't actually Piat?

- Come on, what's in a name, really?

A rose by any other name would still smell as sweet, right?

- Charlie Sheen quoting Shakespeare.

- Piat.

It's a real.

- Piat?

- Yes, that's my real name.

- The hashtag #legalizepiat was also misunderstood

by a number of Seth Rogan fan clubs.

- You have got to be kidding me.

- Oh!

I get it.

- The Roman held territories were divided

into four significant sectional magestricies.

Four significant sectional magestriciciies.

Magestricies.

Magestricies.

Were divided into four significant sinsnacks.

Oh, I couldn't even get that.

- In a world where everything had to be watered twice a day.

- It is what it is, right?

- Contraceptively yours.

Coming this fall.

- Couldn't help it.

I put a little emphasis on coming.

- Look, just because I'm a talking abalone,

doesn't mean I can't be president of the United States,

does it?

- Aah!

- Am I getting through to you, you garbage?

- Bigger.

- Am I getting through to you you garbage?

- Hit with a hammer in the face.

Bigger hammer.

well, I have done a lot of

celebrity impression work for sure.

But there is also a lot of just voice work that I've done.

The Roman held territories were divided

into four significant sectional magestricies,

each subservient to the central state

governmental architecture.

- Poo!

- It can get a little lonely in the booth.

Annie and I agreed to sell the house.

It just made sense.

I hadn't been living there for a while.

Selena had her own place now.

Annie just felt like the house was too big for one person.

Hey Selena, how you doing honey?

- Hey dad.

Are we still on for tonight?

- Oh, yeah, yeah, to meet your friend.

- Not my friend, Dad.

My boyfriend.

- Your boyfriend, yeah, sorry.

Reggie, right?

Sorry.

- Andrea?

Andrea?

- You just missed her, dude.

- What?

- Andrea.

She just left.

- Are you doing Patrick Warbird?

- I don't know what you're talking about.

- You're right, now that I've had a second

to assess the situation, I can't believe

that was my first question.

- She said she was going somewhere with Blanca.

- Blanca?

- If that helps.

- A great deal.

Thank you.

- Dude?

You need to talk about something?

Like you got something on your mind?

You need to hash it out?

I'm here to bro down.

You know what I mean?

So.

I'll be right here.

- I'll admit, I'm not a huge fan of Hondo's style

or work ethic or his general attitude towards life.

But he does seem to be very comfortable in his own skin

which I suppose is pretty cool.

So yeah, I mean, I'm just a little anxious

about this Star Wars audition.

I mean, I was supposed to hear back from Gary,

we were gonna have a meeting today and then I--

- Sorry, I gotta go.

- Great, good talk.

- Yeah, it's the Justin Timberlake gig, so.

- Wait, I haven't heard from team Timberlake all week.

- Well, I just got the email, so I gotta go bring sexy back.

- You know what honey, I'm getting a call from your mom.

I'll have to talk to you later.

- Okay, bye.

- Hey, you're never gonna guess where I am right now.

- Sitting in your car in front of our old house?

- How do you?

Ah.

- Over here.

Hi.

- I see you.

Hi.

- I mean, I don't blame you.

You never got to say goodbye to the place.

- Yeah, well, saying goodbye to this house

is not even that bittersweet, really.

I mean, we dint' make any money on the sale.

Goodbyes are overrated, don't you think?

- Wait, did Shakespeare say that?

- Yeah, writing under his pen name of Raymond Chandler.

- How are you doing?

- I'm good.

I'm on my feet.

- Are you seeing anyone?

- I'm seeing you, right now.

How about you?

How's Josh Groban?

- Oh god.

You know, I don't know what I was thinking.

It's probably just a rebound thing.

But he's just a kid, you know?

We're just very different.

- I felt like the first audition went well,

but this is--

- Technically it's a callback.

- Uh-huh.

- But the director's going to be there.

The producers are gonna be there.

- That's what I'm talking about!

- But listen, I want you to get an acting coach

and work on this and get serious about it.

- You got it.

Star Wars, baby!

- Yeah.

Hey, real quick question for you though.

Did team Timberlake reach out to you today about a gig?

- Today, no.

- Are you sure?

- Positive.

Why?

- Just probably, you know, Hondo got contacted.

And asked to do a gig.

He booked it.

And technically, they're supposed to contact me first,

and then if I pass on it, then it goes to him.

But not this time.

- You want me to call them?

- Oh, no no no no.

It's just fine.

It's just.

- You get a check every week, right?

- Yeah.

No, it's just--

- And you'd rather be working on

this Star Wars audition any way, correct?

- Oh, absolutely.

- Okay, it's Star Wars, baby.

- Yeah.

Star Wars.

- Yeah.

May the force be with you.

- That's, actually not.

- Right.

- You actually really inspired me.

- What do you mean?

- Obviously not the part where you lied,

and you were deceitful,

and you were quitting your job and didn't tell me

and you really jeopardized our finances.

Not any of that.

But more about the part where

I don't know, you just woke up one day

and you decided to go for your dreams.

- I won't lie to you, Amy.

It's not going all that well.

- Well, you know what?

You're going for it.

And that's what matters.

I mean, you did.

You really inspired me.

Because you're going for your dream and,

is that your dad?

- What's my dad doing here?

- Did you not tell him that we sold the house?

- No, not yet.

I mean, he doesn't live here.

He lives in Connecticut.

I mean, he doesn't need to know.

- Jim.

Did you tell him that you moved out?

You did, didn't you?

You told him that you moved out?

And that we're separated, right?

Oh my god.

Jim, we've been separated for six months!

- I know.

But he's old fashioned.

You just can't drop that on him.

Annie, you gotta do me a favor.

- Oh, here we go.

- Oh, Gary, Gary told me he actually wants me

to get an acting coach for the callback.

So I'm trying to think of the right person.

- I think that's brilliant.

How about Jim?

- Jim, no.

I think I want someone a little more stable.

- Piat.

- Piat?

Are you kidding me?

He's be great, but he's blowing up right now.

He's getting more calls than, well anyone, really.

Because people don't really call anymore.

They just text.

- No no no, Piat is here.

He's at the, I didn't.

I forgot to tell you.

He's stillign at the bar.

At the cafe bar.

- Oh.

Dad.

- Well there you are.

I'm sorry, did you tell us you were coming?

- It's called a surprise, James.

Now move aside while I get my arms around your lovely bride.

- Hey Melvin.

Good to see you.

- Good to see you too.

Let's go inside so I can change into my California clothes.

- Dad, Dad, I gotta tell you.

We have sold this house.

It's actually.

- What?

- Yeah, no, we moved.

- Where to?

- That, that's an interesting question isn't it?

And I think this is a moment for you Jim

to share with your dad

maybe some things that have been happening in your life.

- Yeah, you're right.

Dad, we're sorry we didn't tell you we moved.

We should have told you.

Anyway Annie is, she was just leaving.

She has to go run some errands and stuff.

- No.

- So I'm gonna get your stuff.

- I know.

I'm sorry.

But I'm sure I'm gonna see you again soon.

- Very soon.

- Yes.

- Very soon.

- Absolutely.

- How you doing?

Good, I got a lot of stuff in here.

So we'll just go to my car.

- What is wrong with him?

He's so jumpy.

- Well, he's your kid.

- You married him.

- I did.

- Oh, but Piat's like,

he's the king of the internet right now.

I can't just go talk to him.

I mean, he's bigger than that kid president kid.

- Ross, don't be stupid.

- No I just, you think I should?

- Come on now.

Yeah, go.

- He's a celebrity now.

- Ah, you didn't have to stand for me.

Hi Ross.

How you doing?

- There she is.

Go now, it's girl's time.

- Sorry thanks.

- Good luck.

- Thanks.

- Get me an autograph.

- I know my initial idea was that each character

would have their own musical theme, but

I had this epiphany.

What is it that makes this film interesting?

Is it the characters?

No, not so much.

I think it's the dark and gritty locations.

I think the locations.

Oh, Ross, hi.

How are you?

- I'm sorry.

I didn't know you were here with--

- Al, this is Ross.

Ross, Al.

Hey, nice to meet you, pleasure, honor, really.

- Al is actually composing the score

for new dramatic film I'm directing.

- Once I read Piat's original script,

I was engulfed.

I was moved.

It's haunting, it's disturbing.

Honestly, it's, it's right in my wheelhouse.

Dramatic work is where I want

to be focusing all of my energy right now.

I mean, the swamp?

The woods, the barn, the nunnery.

- The wheelhouse itself.

- Oh, in each location would have

its own instrumentation as well.

For the swamp, I see maybe just five people

hitting banjos with a fish.

Over and over and over

and over.

- Genius.

- It sounds genius.

- I'll send you a demo tape.

- Yes, please.

- Hello, home, it's me, Jim, in my house.

With my dad.

- Who are you talking to?

- Listen, I'm sorry that I didn't

come visit you while you were in jail.

- Are you kidding?

Come on, who wants to visit some guy in jail, right?

I wasn't in that long, so there was nothing to see.

But what's up?

- Well, it's, it's kinda funny that you asked that.

I was looking for an acting coach this week.

And I thought of you.

- You know, it's not like you'd make a family visit.

Are you in town for like a film or a play or something?

- Yeah, something like it.

What about you and the voices?

- I don't think my dad ever really approved

of my career path.

Which is fine.

Oh, yeah, you know.

It's always the same.

You audition, you get a role, you get paid.

You audition, you get a role, you get paid.

- You're rambling, James.

What's going on?

- I told you.

I have, we have people staying in the house,

friends, and I don't see them.

- As long as I can stay on the couch.

- The couch.

I don't see why not.

- Oh good.

- It's not being used for anything.

- The thing about an acting coach,

it's all about the right fit.

You know?

I'll try and find something for you.

- That would be amazing.

Thank you.

- Don't worry about it.

- Drea, Ross, I need you now.

Where are you?

Ross, Ross!

- Oh, not now Jim.

I've got the hugest audition I've got to prepare for.

So I'm gonna be in my bedroom.

I can't be distracted.

- Ross, Ross!

- What?

- Yeah, Ross, you can use my bedroom in my house.

That's totally fine.

You can always do that.

And more importantly,

I'd like you to meet my dad, who is here.

Mister--

- Melvin Marshall?

- Yeah, who are you?

- I am a huge fan.

- Okay, Jim has said in the past

that his dad was an actor living in New York.

But he never said that his dad was

Tony award winning actor Melvin Marshall.

- Yeah, my dad is a very well regarded professional actor.

Stage actor.

Award winning actor.

But I don't think of him as an occupation.

- He is a god in the theater world.

- He's dad.

- Well, it's just an honor to meet you sir.

- Cause I'm old.

- He's old fashioned.

- Mr. Marshall, I actually have a huge callback,

and I can't tell you how grateful I would be

if you would help me with my audition.

- Is this one of those little voice things that James does,

or is it real acting?

- Okay.

Yeah, it makes perfect sense now.

If Melvin Marshall was my dad,

doing impressions would never be good enough.

Jim's got daddy issues.

- No, no, there's no correlation at all.

I'm sorry, between what my dad has done with his

amazing dramatic career and what I'm trying to do

by quitting impressions and having a career of my own.

My career will be my career.

It has nothing to do with you know,

his amazing accomplishments.

I'm gonna have my own amazing accomplishments.

On my own terms.

And so, no, it's totally separate.

You gotta be able to pull these things apart.

And I've done that to my satisfaction.

- Uh, you think?

No, it's absolutely real acting sir.

Well, it's I mean, sci-fi.

So technically.

- Yeah, I'd be happy to help.

- Wait, whoa, whoa, whoa.

You never helped me with any parts.

Obviously, you're doing just fine.

My god, look at this house.

You've got a swimming pool in the back yard.

Stop complaining.

Let me look at those pages.

- Yeah.

Here you go.

- Oh, Ross, let me get the door.

It's my house, right?

So I should be the one to answer it.

After all, this is my pool, my house and everything.

By the way, thanks for being a great visitor.

- Selena.

- Hi.

- What are you doing here?

- Very funny dad.

Look, this is my boyfriend, Reggie.

- Oh, Reggie, right, right.

- Nice to meet you sir.

It's a real pleasure, sir.

- Wow, look at this.

Well listen, gosh, I just want you to know,

even though we just met,

I think this is great.

You have my blessing.

Let's get together again real soon.

- Hey, dad, dad.

Yeah, we're coming in for a little bit.

Okay?

Stop being rude.

- Here's the thing.

Grandpa's here.

Okay?

And you know how old fashioned he gets, so.

- Grandpa's here.

Oh, you get to meet grandpa!

Come on in.

Grandpa, hi!

- Sweetheart!

Oh my gosh, look at you.

- How are you?

- I was gonna come over and see you tomorrow.

But this is a great surprise.

- Oh, Grandpa, you're the sweetest.

- Hey.

- Grandpa, I want you to meet my boyfriend.

This is Reggie.

- Reggie.

- It's a pleasure to meet you sir.

- Okay, now, I heard Selena was going with

a young man named Reggie,

but I didn't know what he looked like.

Now I know what you look like,

so I realize that you're a--

- Dad!

- What?

What did I say?

- Nothing, thankfully, but this is modern age.

So we don't always just say word.

- What's the big deal?

I dated one.

- Reggie, I apologize.

- What are you apologizing to Reggie for?

You're one as well.

- I am what?

- An impressionist, James.

- What does that have to do with what we're talking about?

- Reggie is an impressionist.

I saw his face, I recognized him from t.v.

- It's true.

I am a professional impressionist.

Like yourself.

- What did you think I was gonna say?

- So, you're dating an impressionist?

- Yeah.

- Oh my god.

What have I done?

I mean my daughter is essentially

dating a younger version of myself.

This is a very dangerous territory.

- Hi, I'm Ross.

- You're Ross?

- Yeah.

- Okay.

- Believe it or not, there was a moment

that I forgot that Selena had a thing for me,

but then it all came rushing right back.

So you're an impressionist?

- Oh, I am.

- But like Jim, it's not my dream job.

But it pays the bills.

You know?

It's like, the people of Mr. Marshall's generation.

They wake up, work hard, get paid, and go home.

It's only recently that we've created this idea that

you're supposed to be in love with your job.

I just buy into that.

Just old fashioned, I guess.

- You're a smart man, Reggie.

- Thank you sir.

- See Dad?

Maybe if you were more honest, like Reggie,

you and Mom could get back together.

- What?

You and Annie are split up?

- I'm sorry.

This is not my house.

It's not my pool.

Not my plant, not my couch, although I'm staying on it.

Ross is a good friend.

And Annie, Annie left me.

Because I lied to her about quitting impressions.

- Why would you quit your impressions?

- Because.

It's not real acting.

That's what you always tell me, right?

- Let's go for a walk.

I know I haven't been supportive

of your impressionist lifestyle.

- Yeah, that's putting it lightly, Dad.

- I'm from another generation.

Back then, it was either a clown or you're an actor.

Nobody ever did both.

I know in the past, I've said I don't understand it.

That doesn't mean that I'm opposed to it.

- Not the most inspirational words, dad.

- I have a confession to make, James.

I'm envious of you, James.

Even jealous.

- Alright, Dad.

You don't have to pretend to make me feel--

- No no no, I'm not pretending.

It's the truth.

For a long time now, I wished I had your ear for voices.

Your vocal range is wonderful.

I can't do what you do.

I'm proud of you, son.

- Thanks, Dad.

Thank you.

- Impressions are a gift.

And I support you.

Of course, it's not real acting, but it's fun.

- Some times we say the worst things

to the ones we love.

Because we know they can take it.

Sometimes, the worst experiences

make us remember why we love them.

Sometimes the early bird gets the worm

and the mouse gets the cheese.

Lucky numbers 3, 15, 36, and 15.

- God, I can't thank you enough for setting this up.

I can't believe he agreed to, to help me out.

But, um.

You know what, he's coming here right now.

Alright, bye.

- Shh.

Ross.

I'm here for you.

- Great, thanks.

- This is a Star Wars film, correct?

- Yes.

- What are you feeling?

What are you wanting?

- You know, he wants to kill as many Jedi's as he can.

He's just really.

- Keep going.

- Yeah, he just really wants to kill

as many Jedi's as he can.

- No, no Ross.

- I think, again, like in the script--

- No Ross.

- No I mean I think he just wants to kill the Jedi's

and enslave the Padawans.

- No Ross!

- Maybe he wants to settle down and have a family.

- Yes, Ross, yes.

- On the next Impress Me.

- Steve Buscemi?

- Please.

- Steve Buscemi is one of my favorite.

I found him doing Austin Powers.

Yeah baby, very shagadellic.

Now take the teeth of Austin Powers,

put it there and make it a little bit higher

and you've got Steve Buscemi right there.

♪ Soulpancake ♪